The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 3 (Lee Mack)

Episode Date: September 27, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 3 (Lee Mack)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 88 of 128.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble

Peacock and Gamble Cause it's not hell Peacock and it's not play Gamble, but it is right Peacock and it is out Gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Because it's on air, Peacock and it's not fake. Gamble videos is great, Peacock and it is out. Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Here they are. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast, oh yeah.

Oh yeah, it's the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. You know, hang on, you know we've got a theme tune? Oh yeah. You don't need to make one up every day. I forget that, because when we record this we don't air the theme tune, do we not? No we don't. We just hear you doing your own one, which apparently is, Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. I am Ray Peacock, hello.

Hello Ray, I'm Ed Gamble, hello everyone. I know, I've met you loads of times. I know, exactly. I've met you once at a bus. You did meet me at a bus, yeah. I think I'd be quite good at doing jingles. Do you? Yeah, I've been thinking that.

Although, I don't think I'm the best at doing jingles. No. I was thinking not long ago. Remember, I Feel Like Chicken Tonight? Yeah. Do you think, hang on, before you do this, whatever this is going to be, maybe we should just have a little bit of preamble and sort of introduce what this is. This is our Edinburgh podcast.

Yeah, number three. We're going to have a chat about what we're up to. We're in Edinburgh performing a show. Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40 at the Pleasant Stone. Done. And we're sort of going to, it's just the Pleasant Stone. We're going to have a chat about what we've been up to and then we've got a special guest coming up later on. Yeah, which is Lee Mack today. In the form of

Lee Mack, which is quite exciting. Yeah. So now you know all of that, in context, let's now hear what I presume is going to be your idea for the Chicken Tonight theme tune. Well, I was thinking, if I'd been asked to do the Chicken Tonight theme tune all them years ago, I would have come up with this. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken tonight. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken tonight. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken tonight.

Why don't you have some chicken tonight? Right. That would have been my one right which I think is perfectly serviceable yeah maybe you get on people's nerves

and it works well so would I feel like chicken tonight but then I thought somebody whoever it was came up with

I feel like chicken tonight yeah I feel like chicken tonight that one yeah and then I thought

about it and I thought no it was right that they got the job it was right that they got it because out of the two ones, my one and their one,

their one is probably the better one. Is that the complete thought that you wanted to put out onto the internet? Well, what I'm saying is that I can't be feeling downhearted because the best person got the job. Got the job. If you only thought of this much later, you didn't think of this at the time. Well, sometimes you go and do a casting, don't you? And then you see the actual show that you went for the casting for that you didn't get.

And you're like, I think I would have done that better. Or I think I was better for that. But okay, fine. But with Chicken. But with Chicken tonight, I think the best person got the job. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm glad we've had your thought for the day. Yeah.

There'll be more jingles that I could have done later on in the run. Well, I think you're already sort of, your brain's going a bit fuzzy already. Because the Edinburgh Fringe tends to do that to performers performers because you're in a new place for a month you're performing the show in a sort of hot room very intense experience started it last night didn't we yeah we did our first one last night yeah a bit quiet a little bit quiet that's fine first one we did it well so it's fine everyone in the room laughed at it yeah every last person yeah and that's fine so uh but i think you're already going a bit fuzzy in your head. Why? I think you've gone a bit mad. It's like, this is like your catchphrase.

Oh, right. I think you've gone a bit mad. It's a catchphrase. No one's proved it. I've been forced to repeat it. Every day I've got to say it. My entire life with you is a constant... Laugh.

Intervention. Great laugh. Intervention. We were having a right giggle yesterday. We were having a giggle yesterday, but I think you might have taken it a step too far, mate. I was just through here having my dinner. We're in the kitchen at the moment.

Yeah, we're in the kitchen. Through it, obviously, I think they could probably get that from the fact I was having my dinner there. No, some people have their dinner on the lap in front of the telly in the living room. Yeah, some people have it on the toilet and remember you with some chocolate.

Claire's in Scotland one time. Profiteroles. Profiteroles, sorry. Similar sort of things, really. Just rounder. Yeah. Goes through you better, doesn't it? Yeah.

I know, actually, a eclair would have gone through better. You don't eat it all in one, though. Because an eclair is the shape of a proper toilet, isn't it? Yeah, but I... So I was through here having my dinner, and I heard a strange...

What were you having? What were you having? I was having some pasta pesto with some chicken breast. Chicken. Yeah, lovely. Very nice. Did you feel like chicken tonight?

Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken tonight. No, it was a proper one. It's better we've established that. And I heard a strange cry from deep within our flat of, Ed, I'm not doing anything!

Yeah, that was me. Now I know, you might not know this listener, but I know Ray very well. I've known him for many years now, probably like 20 years. Yeah, probably 40 years. Yeah, 40 years, 50.

And when he says, Ed, I'm not doing anything like that, that means he's prepared something and that's my cue to go through to where he is and examine what he's prepared, laugh, go, well done, Ray, very funny. And then he can go about his day feeling pretty full of himself

but happy that he's a funny lad. Yeah, but I've always got to raise the bar every time. Yeah, constant reassurance. So the bar was probably. Constant reassurance. So the bar was probably raised to a level where even our previous guest Greg Davis

would win limbo. I've just put him in an ambulance Greg Davis. Outside yeah to the funny farm. Oh yeah he's gone mad hasn't he?

Yeah I've just put him in there just now. Yeah well I mean I wish I'd been there to kick you in as well because I was having my

dinner I thought I'll get through my dinner. I'll just leave him to it, whatever he's doing. Don't forget, chicken pasta pesto. Yeah, so eating that, I sort of got to the end of it, I was on, in fact I was on my last tube. Right.

And then I heard again, more strain this time, slightly more sort of serious. Desperate. Ed, Ed, I'm not doing anything, I promise. Yeah, yeah. I thought right, I'll go and get this out of the way and see what he's done. Yeah. I don't think I was quite prepared. I went in your room.

You weren't there. So I thought, I'll look in the sitting room. You've got a sitting room. Yeah, nice. So if any girls want to come over. Can I have a sit down? You can have a sit down and we've got a telly in there so we can put whatever you like on there. We've got a little spare room as well, single bed. £40 a night. £40 a night, that, if you want it. £40 a night and that doesn't include extras. You know what I mean?

Wink, wink wink can't see that on the radio you weren't in there weren't in the sitting room weren't in the toilet because the door was open there so I thought

well he's in my room isn't he so he's doing something in my room yeah I opened the door it was a little bit dark I thought

oh is he hiding is he going to jump out play monsters no there was it wasn't completely dark because there was a glow of a candelabra lovely

you'd taken the candelabra from the bathroom and you'd lit every candle all the candles lit them all. Creating quite a soft, romantic ambient light. Very, very ambient. And you were laying in what I can only describe as sort of a Rubenesque position. Thank you.

On the side, on your side, on your flank. On your bed. Yeah, on my bed. Entirely naked. Thank you. Why are you saying thank you? Entirely naked. Yeah. With your penis and testicles pushed through your legs. So they were sort of tucked up round by your arsehole. Yeah.

In what I believe is traditionally called a mangina. Yeah. And you had a finger in your mouth. Thank you. No, stop saying thank you. None of this is a compliment. Just sort of looking at me coquettishly. Yeah.

Going, oh, you've caught me. Yeah. Right? Oh, and you're saying this now as if I were Ray Stube. Ray Stube, what did you then do? You were on me like a shot, mate. No, I was... My first thought and my first sentence was...

All over me. Get your dirty bare arse off my clean quilt cover. Yeah. But guess what? What? It's worse than that. Why? Because what had I tucked through my legs?

Penis. So that was on my bum as well. No, it wasn't, mate. It was, mate. Mate, it wasn't. It was, mate. Mate, you tucked that through there. That barely wrapped round your massive stomach.

Well, that's why I was asking you to come through quick. Because I'd been in that position for ages. And it was starting to hurt my balls. It's flat now, isn't it? Completely flat balls. It's like a bit upon my hand now. Yeah, it's turning. First of all, it went a bit like mozzarella cheese when you get it in a bag.

Yeah. And then it went completely down to like, sort of chopped salami. You went through the full deli. I know, I did, yeah. Thank you. Stop saying thank you. None of this is a compliment. So I immediately ran through and got my own back and rubbed my bare penis and balls on your pillow.

That seems even worse because you've not even got an at on your penis anymore. No, exactly. And it all chopped off. Yeah. It was genuinely hurting me and I couldn't change position. And this was building throughout the day

because earlier on in the day you'd left a banana outside my room as a present. Yeah. What a lovely thing to do. Right, so that was done. Yeah. That was done.

What else did we do? Oh, I went a bit mad as well that you were worried about me. You went to the shops in your pyjamas. I went to the shops in my pyjamas. I think that's fine sometimes

if you live above a shop but Sainsbury's was further away than I remembered there's a radius I think with things like that if you live

next door to a shop on either side or you're above a shop you can pop into that shop and if they start to get to

know you in that shop you can go hello Gordon I'm just going to go and pick up a pint of milk

and go hello I did your pyjamas again and I'll say yeah my hair's a bit messy and all or Jane his wife but Sainsbury's was sort of like six and pick up a pint of milk and you go, hello, I didn't your jam was again. And I say, yeah, my hair's a bit messy and all, Gordon. Or Jane,

his wife. Or Jane, his wife, yeah. But Sainsbury's was sort of like six buildings down. So once I got in there,

there was a point where I was walking down the road just in my pyjamas like a madman. mental. But that's what I'm saying though. These things are all fun things to do.

And what I'll say to you in future, if I say, Ed, I'm not doing anything, come through straight away. No, but I know that. I know to do that. Because I might be in some discomfort. That's not my fault. And if I'm wearing... That's not my fault. Right. That I don't come through straight away when you've pushed your cock and balls through your legs.

Let me tell you now why. Why it was difficult. Because I was laying there. It wasn't particularly comfortable anyway. It was difficult. Can we just stop you? This was completely your choice. your choice right it wasn't I'll tell you why I was in discomfort you were in discomfort because you decided to go into my room take all your clothes off and push your cock and balls

in between your legs and some candles as well stop making it sound less than it was oh yeah apparently that was difficult as well listener I was told that because the candles

were on a high shelf in the bathroom they weren't allowed to lift them down all on my own right listen and I was there so for maybe the first

minute or so I was relatively comfortable that was fine right if you'd have come through then there wouldn't have been any problems at all but you left it I reckon like

seven or eight minutes that I was in there in that position and then I was thinking right I'm going to take my cock and balls out from between my legs for a bit

just to get the shape back in them couldn't do that because I didn't know when you were going to come through so if I'd have just got my cock and balls out and then you'd have

walked in the door, then that is just me with some candles on, making on your bed. What I would say is you're very well trimmed, well done, good boy. Thank you very much, I shaved it right to the hilt to make me really not bigger. Anyway, thanks for joining us again.

Don't forget our show is Peacock and Gumball, don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40pm, Pleasance Dome. And we'll see you there. Please comment. Please comment, because we really like it as a show and you know what it needs

just a bloody audience cheering us on just you know have a bit of fun with it exactly come and enjoy it it's meant to be silly it's meant to be silly

don't have a frown at that what's wrong with you that's your fault anyway special guest time special guest time Lee Mack who I believe

is telly he's telly he's telly isn't he he's telly isn't he he's telly isn't he he's not here he's not in Edinburgh Special guest time. Special guest time. Lee Mack, who I believe is Telly. He's Telly. He's Telly, isn't he? He's Telly, isn't he? He's Telly, isn't he? He's not here. He's not in Edinburgh. This was a pre-record because, of course, he doesn't go out.

Yeah, again, sound is up and down in this one, but we've fixed it as best we can. Bear with it. I mean, once we get into the people that are all in Edinburgh who have been recording so far, the sound will level itself out. Yeah. But the pre-records, some of them are up and down. But a lot of those are more famous, so there's a trade-off. Much more famous indeed.

And here's Lee Mack. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Oh, brilliant. Well done, Lee Mack. How unprofessional is that? Have we started? We keep some silence at the beginning. Why? It's for editing, and now you've whistled.

But you can't keep quiet. The whistle's like the clap when you start a film. You know, if you haven't got a clapperboard to take in, you clap and you go... Everyone's had to set you haven't got a clapping board they take in your clap and then you start everyone's had to set their own oh sorry yeah so you've broken

some of these nice Bose speakers look at stop clapping none of our listeners have Bose speakers that's very true I've got some but they were given

as a gift you're in that weird position where your average demographic can't actually afford to listen to you right can you not slag off our fans when you say your fans

I said your demographic you've got to learn about marketing and comedy. You've got your fans and then you've got your demographic. Can I just describe the scene, first of all? Lee Mack has just picked up his chilled glass of white wine. This is true. It's great juice. Working class Lee Mack.

Straight out of Pontins. Here he is. What year is this? 1982. Working class Lee Mack drinking wine. This is Abigail's party. Listen, this wine is known as free wine. Right. Well, let's just get this... Before we go any further, let's sort this out now.

Lee, and you answer your questions truthfully, where are we? We're at the Haymarket Hotel, which has got its own swimming pool in the bar next door. Yeah, just next door. We've walked past a swimming pool to get into this room that we've got exclusively to interview Lee. I had it arranged, unlike your other podcast interviews. I actually hired the room out, paid for it, and I'll take that round.

That's true, you fucking idiot. And why are you here tonight? Well, I am here as part of my book. I wouldn't say launch, but I'm doing a book, and I'm meeting the people that are going to buy the book. And still want to buy it. Not just everyone that's buying the book. There's like eight people coming. When we were sat outside there was a little

homeless man going, I'm from Borders. I'm from Borders. They go, no Borders has gone bust. Not Borders. Woolworths. Woolworths are coming. Tower Records are all going to be there. When's your book coming out? It's coming out in October I believe

I mean this sounds like I'm doing it so you can promote it but I'm actually I'm saying it in a more sort of baffled way when is Lee Mack's book book

going to come out in a shop you think you're shocked they're going to be shocked the audience because what I've done is I've bought 10,000 copies

readers they're called readers the audience can I call them audience? yeah yeah oh right you don't sit like a watcher book I know you used to miss them

I just see them as an audience but in slow motion that's a kindle you've seen that's a kindle no I think I've seen a portable telly haven't I what I've done is I've bought 10,000 copies of the life story of Muhammad Ali and I've printed up some new covers I couldn't bother

writing it. And let's face it, not everyone knows who I am. They might think I was the champion of the world in the 70s. Well, a lot of your

things happen in your life chime exactly with what I'm doing. Very similar, yeah. I got into a lot more trouble when I shouted abuse at George Foreman than he did.

It all depends on who's the giver and who's the receiver. Context is everything. Yeah. Well, I'm going to buy one. Well, I'd say I'm going to buy one. I would imagine I would get a free one because I'm in it a lot. Are you thinking of the George Foreman grill now or my book?

No, I would get a free one of your book because obviously I'm in it. Listen, you'll get the book. Yeah, thanks. You're having the book. Thank you, thank you. And I can borrow his when he's done with it. You can borrow, yeah, you can borrow his book. Has it gone to print yet? No, it's not gone to print. So you can still make corrections? Oh, I can still his when he's done with it. You can borrow, yeah, you can borrow his. Has it gone to print yet?

No, it's not gone to print. So you can still make corrections? Oh, I can still change things, yeah. Whenever you're talking about me, which you do quite a lot, can you say, and his friendette? Yes, definitely. So I'm in it as well, because... Yeah.

In his chapter. Me and Bobby Ball? Sorry. It was a photograph of me and Bobby. Yeah, stop the interview because you sawraff o chi a Bobby Ball. Mae'n fawr iawn o'r ffaith. Weithiau, rwyf wedi sylweddoli, ar gyfer personiaeth comediol, byddwch yn chwarae'r person sydd yn gallu credu ei fod yn showbiz.

Ond weithiau, mae'r un gwirioneddol yn dod allan. Nid yw'n personiaeth. Dyma fi a Bobby Ball! Dyna Bobby Ball o Canon and Ball! Nid yw'n cael ei ffotograffu. Mae'n wir. Felly, nid yw'n cael ei ddysgu eto. Nid yw'n caelr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n fawr! Mae'n So if this is a little fun item, a feature, I'm going to punch you both in the face. I want serious, proper suggestions. Well, what I'm saying is, if you then use any of these, even if you can prove that you've come up with it before, you still have to pay us, all right?

Yeah, because this is the first time these titles are going to be announced. That's the third point, yeah. Apart from the ones that I sent to my lawyer and put the stamp on. Right, no. But they're dated, so they're predated. When Peter Kay did his last talk, we did a podcast where we predicted the material he was going to do. Yeah. And loads of it was in.

Was it in? Loads of it, yeah. Right, so here's the titles we came up with. So when we sat outside, because we weren't allowed in the hotel yet. Go for it. Okay, the Big Mac. Thought of, rejected, but...

Stop saying... You can say it about any of them. No, no, but you've buried them all. There's so many variations of the word Mac. Even better. Even better. The MacBook. The MacBook.

Well, that's interesting, because I thought I don't know if I've ever thought of that. That isn't bad, actually. It's not bad, is it? Now, what did I say when you thought of that? I'll tell you why I like that. It's because I'm trying to give a neutral title. Right. But what you've got to do when you do it, though, is you've got to put M-A-C-K.

And that's the problem. Then it doesn't look right. No, but I think people will get it. If you missed the joke and the play on words of the MacBook, it just looks like a man who has not thought of that. Let's change the word Mac to Pasquale. Some people will read it as the Pasquale book, and people will just go, was that it, the Macbook?

Not if you put MacBook as one word with a capital B. And the front cover is you eating an apple. Don't like computers, don't like fruit. Now, you won't like this one then, the MacBook Pro. I was just running with an idea here. Mac doesn't make any sense, does it, Ed? What you've done there is you've taken the other one and just... Well, what I was saying is you're a pro.

Yeah. Your name's Lee Mac and it's a book. Oh, got it. That works perfectly. The look of... The vacant look wasn't me trying to work it out. Right. It was the look of shock that you had.

Honestly. The MacBook was good. I feel like... The MacBook Pro, you just... You've opened, right, with your closer. Yeah, no, I'm just going to say... Well, you should have just gone, the MacBook Pro, I'd have had disgust,

and then you go, what about just the MacBook? Bang, sign the deal, you're out of it. You, you're a selfish little prick. No, well, I am. You're unbelievable. We've spent time... Sorry, I... You definitely want to be the new parker, don't you?

We've spent time... My next guest is a selfish little prick. Later on,'d spend time. My next guest is a selfish little prick. There on. Shelly Bassey. Shelly Bassey, the selfish little prick. Right. Here's some of the ones. And be a bit more grateful.

Okay, I will be grateful. I do agree with what you were saying about us going in with the good stuff, first of all. Because my next one was iPad, which doesn't make any... iPad? Yeah. Yeah, you see that? You see where you've gone wrong now? Because I would not go for an iPad.

But blue sky thinking. But, hey, listen, great suggestion, guys. OK, we've got loads more. I'm sure you know the names of lots of computers. Commodore what? Good job you weren't doing Lionel Richie's old time. Please call your lots about having a Commodore 64. This is when Ray decided we'd leave the Mac thing and we'd go with Lee. Great.

Rusty Lee. What is it? Rusty Lee. Your name is Lee Mac. And the front cover could be you as the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. Nice. Or just Blacktop.

Just Blacktop like Rusty Lee. The General Lee. Oh, I've seen General Lee. Yeah, he has a car on the front. Or as a General. Yeah. Sukho Lee. That's a Korean lad

I went to school with. Oh, okay, yeah. So ungrateful. Or as a general. Yeah. Sukho Lee. What? That was a Korean lad I went to school with. Oh, okay, yeah. So ungrateful. League of his own. Lee. Goffy's own. Goffy's own one way.

And you do do a league of his own and a league of their own sports quiz. Yeah, I'd like to think I'm not predominantly known for that. Would I Lee to you? I did contemplate Would I Lie to You as a title, which is the choosiest thought I've ever had in my life. Would I Lie to You, guys? Is that sort of feel about it? Because you're being, how much are you revealing? Are you revealing everything?

Because we've got so much. I'm revealing, I'd say as books go, I'm revealing more than very little. All right. Okay, so nothing leaved out probably wouldn't. Nothing leaved out, Lee, Lee Mack, leaved. Nothing leaved out, yeah. Left wouldn't work. No, what about nothing leafed out?

Leave. Give it some sort of grammar. With a V. leaving leafed out? Leave Leave The real me You arrived at this point The real me? That's just now serious It's not even an attempt to Play some words or pull something

My autobiography Diary of Anne Frank Or Jordan's New Book. Jordan's New Book's quite good. Helped me shift some units. It would help shift a lot of units. Yeah, three years ago. Maybe not now.

Are they... Now I'll tell you my serious shortlist. Yeah, go on. If you're allowed to. Yeah, yeah. Mack the Life. Nice. I found it a bit punny.

I thought it was really nice though. Do you like that? Mack the Life. Fame, fudge and juggling. Awful. Why? A bit pretentious. A bit arty farty. A bit what? Fudge andwybod hynny? Ydw, ydw, ydw. Ffam, ffudge a thwglau. Ydw. Pwy?

Ychydig potensial. Ychydig artyfartig. Ffudge a thwglau yw artyfartig a potensial. Ydy, mae'n swnio fel, o, mae gen i ddim yn ystyrus. Dydw i ddim yn gwybod beth yw'r enw. Iawn, rwy'n mynd. Mae'r bobl sy'n cael eu llwyddo, y gwaith gwych, y gwaith gwasgaru, y gwaith gwasgaru. Yn ôl, rwy'n eisiau dweud, nid yw'n sioe.

Mae'n llyfr. Nid yw'n sioe, mae'n sioe. Mae'n sioe stand up. Ydych chi'n gwybod, unrhyw beth, gadael i'r pwynt. Ydy'n ymddiriedol? Ydy'n ymddiriedol? Ydy'r ffilm gyda llyfrau? Yr dyn gyda'r llyfrau? Ydych chi'n cofyrdd, mae'n ffyrdd. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n ffyrdd. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr.

Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n llyfr. Mae'n ddewis, mae'n rhywbeth onest, mae'n ddewis o'r ffitr a gobeithio y byddai'n eithaf ddiddordeb. Ond nid yw'n mynd i gynnal unrhyw prifoedd. Mae'n gael ychydig o blwch, nid yw'n ffynhau stocin.

Ydych wedi dweud, yn sicr, nad yw'n ddewis. Mae'n rhywbeth o'i ddewis am y llyfr. Felly, roedd rhywun arall wedi dweud wrthi, pam na chi ddim yn ei alw'n ddarllen ar gyfer hwylio? Ac wedyn, dwi ddim yn gallu, oherwydd dwi wedi gweithio ar ei fodd nad yw fy nghyfforddiant arall yn gallu ei wneud hefyd. Efallai y gallwch ei alw'n, that my average audience can't do either. You could call it, You're Definitely Doing a Poo Right Now. What? You could call it, You're Definitely Doing a Poo Right Now. That's true, yeah. That's not bad. Lou Reed.

And I think it's about the... Lou Reed! Lou Reed's brilliant! I thought Lou Reed's, or should we call that Lou Reed? Lou Reed. You're in the wrong profession. You should be doing that. I'm in the right profession,

I've just got the wrong name. I should be called Lou Reed. Pickle can gamble, pickle can gamble. Because your books are not going to print yet, you were very kindly, a little a little bit exclusive on the podcast. Yes. When we were filming the last series of Not Going Out,

which you were in. I was in it, yeah. We were discussing one day, perhaps you forgot about it, but you said, Ray, if I ever do an autobiography, because you hadn't decided it was going to happen then, then you are definitely doing the foreword. Yeah. Because me and Tim are falling out.

No, I think if it was, I said, if I ever wrote a book, you'll be doing forewords. I've done more than that. Ie. Oherwydd mi a Tim yn llwyddo. Na, dwi'n meddwl eich bod yn mynd i'r afael â'r ddau gair. Dwi wedi gwneud mwy na hynny. A roeddwn i'n mynd i... Lee yw yn hollol Lee ac yna rydych chi'n cael ei ddod yn. Wel, rydw i wedi gwneud hynny. Rydw i wedi ysgrifennu'r ddau gair. Dwi wedi ysgrifennu'r ddau gair. Felly dyma'r ddau gair. Yn ychydig yn ymwneud â chi nawr.

Ydw i'n gofyn y ddau gair? Ddau gair. Ddau gair. Ddau gair. Ddau gair. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. The foreword. Yeah. Right, well, here's the foreword for Lee Mack's book. And by the way, I'll record this now. Yeah.

And then you can just use it on the audiobook with me reading it. Yeah, yeah. Well, I want you to do the audiobook anyway. Thanks. I could do it. I can read. Right, you ready? Yeah.

Well. Good start. I like that. Thanks. It's good. Combo. Settles everyone, doesn't it? What an absolute pleasure to be asked to write a foreword for Lee Mack's book, Rusty Lee.

It's not often you get to see in print your thoughts on your very best friend from show business. Yeah, that's true. I have known Lee Mack for ages and have his mobile phone number and an email address for him. I also have been in his dressing room at the BBC One, which was quite dark and he had sushi in a little box for his dinner.

One time, Lee Mack gave me a lift... Sorry, is this a foreword or the diary of a prize winner? One time, Lee Matt gave me a lift back from a party with some other people in a posh blue sports car, which was his. I don't remember. Genuinely don't remember. Once in Edinburgh, it was Lee Matt's birthday and he got... Was it just me and you in the car? Can I do me forward? I'll show you. Once in Edinburgh, it was Lee Matt's birthday and he got drunk and bit my friend Rob on the face affectionately. Yeah, that's true.

But it was too hard because Lee was drunk and it hurt Rob. That's true. This is gold, mate. Another day, I bumped into Lee Mack in East Dulwich, and we had a drink in a pub with my friend Sucky. That's true, that. Your friend Sucky? Yeah.

What was your friend called from school? Suko. Well, not the same player. Racist, that. The first year I went to Edinburgh... Saying that some names sound the same isn't the same as saying people look the same. Do you know what?

I hope that nobody does this when you read your audiobook. Just shouting over it with a glass of wine in their hand. I'm all ears. We're going to come down to your first reading of this book, Reading Waterstone. The first year I went to Edinburgh, Lee Mack helped fund the posters by doing some stand-up at Benefit Evening. He'll get me started on that. Even though he was doing Edinburgh as well, The first year I went to Edinburgh, Lee Mack helped fund the posters by doing some stand-up at a benefit evening.

They'll get me started on that. Even though he was doing Edinburgh as well, and it was costing him more. I lost more money at Edinburgh than I did fundraising for his Edinburgh show. How the hell? Look what I've put. What a nice man. What an idiot. Now I do warm-up on his sitcom, and I'm a very important part of the team. I'm sorry, is that real?

Yeah. So far, I have persuaded Miranda Hart and Tim Vine to leave. I'm sorry is that real so far I have persuaded Miranda Hart and Tim Vine to leave in order to give my best friend Lee Mack more time on screen

to do his jokes that he writes sometimes all by himself come on Lee what does that mean come on Lee come on Lee supporting you

I think it meant come on Lee I am sure this book will be a good one and that he will have mentioned me in it loads like the time on set when he was trying

to extinguish a candle, and straight away I sang, It's not blowing out. The audience howled with laughter, and I just came up with it on the spot. I even overheard the late Tim Vine say, That was brilliant. And he knows a thing or two about doing jokes. It was the most I ever heard an audience laugh at not going out.

Even when Bobby Ball was there. What an experience to have all those members of the public that were there to see Lee Mack laughing the most at me. And I mean significantly more. And that's all down to Lee Mack. Thanks, Lee. Good luck with your book. Three stars, some funny bits.

So there's about... Nice. If you can get that down in printed form and send it off to my publisher I'll have a proper

look at it yeah this is it's an Edinburgh podcast so we did it's kind of Edinburgh centric this

go for it I'm all over the Edinburgh so you've done all Edinburgh in that haven't you I've been Edinburgh

I did 2000 no what did I do 1995 to 2000 every year every year so how many Edmonds was that

6 5 95 to 2000 who wants to get that extra one Yr un peth rydw i wedi gwneud, 2000... Na, beth wnaethon nhw ei wneud? 1995-2000, bob blwyddyn. Felly, sut fyddai'r hyn a wnaethon ni ei ddweud? Ychwa. 95-2000. Pobl yn hoffi gofio'r un arall. Mae gennych 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 2000. Iawn, mae wedi gwneud dda iawn. Felly, yr hyn rydych chi eisiau ei wneud yw 95-2000 o'r cyffredinol. Yr un peth newydd rydych chi eisiau ei wneud yw, gael mathemateg.

Mae mathemateg yn dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda iawn, ond rydych chi'n mynd i roi pethau i mewn. Felly, pa mor blynedd o'r stand-up wnaethoch chi ei wneud cyn dywedwch,. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. You were holding up a medallion. I was dressed with gold sovereign rings that said Mac on it. Basically, I looked like a rapper before the days of Ali G.

And the idea of me trying to look like a gangster rapper was supposed to be funny. But of course, it was my mental ego. Because what I thought was... Enough people know who I am that me looking like somebody who I'm not is funny. No one knew who I was. So looking like someone else is only funny if they know what you look like. So basically, they just looked like a bloke doing some stuff about gangster rap. And you said that it was your first one?

That was my first solo show. And it was called Return of the Mac. Was that a little joke as well? Yeah. So that was a little joke. Well, I just, you know, I only had a limited amount of Mark Morrison songs to play. Yeah, yeah. Mark Morrison didn't do a show called My First Edmund.

No, he didn't. If he had a job, he'd use that. Actually, yeah. Definitely. Fair comment. Because Mark Morrison's first song was called Return of the Mac. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, fair comment. But that's because he'd been in prison. Had he? Yeah, yeah. What for wir. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n fwy oedol na'ch ddwy! Ie, iawn, iawn, iawn. Felly, sut amser o sgwyddo'r solo? Sgwyddo'r solo, yn Edinburgh, 1998 ac rwy'n meddwl 2003, rhywbeth fel hynny. Felly, ddwy rung fawr o sgwyddo'r solo. Felly, 2003 oedd ar ôl Lymat's Bits, oherwydd roeddech chi'n gwneud Lymat's Bits, sef sgwyddo'r sketch gyda chi a Swarcky. Ie, felly rwy'n ar y stag 1998, yn meddwl nad ydw i eisiau gwneud hynny eto. Rwy'ni cael y foment honno yn llwyr, yn ystod y second, ond y foment honno wedi gweithio.

Yr un peth rwy'n ei wneud dros y 10 mlynedd nesaf oedd, ydy'n hynny'n ffynnu? Ydy'r enw hwn? Ie, ie. Fe wnes i feddwl, os ydw i'n rhaid i mi ddod ar y stag eto y flwyddyn nesaf a mynd i ofal gyda 12 o bobl yn edrych arna i, rwy'n hoff i fod yn gallu edrych ar le ac ar y dde a gweld pobl eraill yn ofal i mi. Ac mae hynny wedi gweithio. Dwi'n teimlo. A Dan a Topolsky yn ffitio i hynny.

Mae gennym rhai o hynny. Ie, ond gallwch edrych ar ei gilydd. Mae byw yn eich ars, os mae rhywun yn sefydlu ar y flwyddyn nesaf yn ddiddorol. Ie, ie. I think we and Dan and Topolsky fit into it. We have a bit of that. Yeah, you can look at each other. Dying on your arse with someone sitting next to you is actually funny. Yeah, yeah. It's that dying on your arse with that person sitting next to you is not funny. Well, no, never died. No, that's really interesting, though, because I remember you doing it. That was when I first met you.

It was 1999, 2000-ish, something like that. And you were putting the Lemax bits together for the first time. But I remember, though, that it wasn't... Like, when we do our stuff together, it's very much shared between us. But you were putting the Lee Max bits together for the first time but I remember though that it wasn't like when we do our stuff together it's very much shared between us but you were kind of, and I don't even know what I've heard I've heard one of you is a more predominant writer than the other one and the other one takes all the glory but you know

I don't want to stir it up, I'm just saying what I've heard Weirdly, I know what you're saying we don't need to go into any detail because the history of my career has not been that way but you're, Ed is more of a writer and I'm more of a get Ed's writing learn it a bit

and then do all the brilliant stuff on the line I see it very much like you're both making a cake

together you're going out and you're buying the ingredients you're buying the bowl you're whisking

it up and you're cooking it and then you're even trying to eat it but you haven't got a

cat in the house chance of that I'm trying to eat it but he digs out the middle just barehanded, chops down the window, and then just does a big turd right in the middle. Yeah, and then I get some of the cream

from all around the outside, and I rub it on my face. And then the oil, when I pull the middle out of the cake earlier on, I use the oil and I put my knob in it, and I go through it with the cake. This is actually a microcosm of what happens, is that I'll come up with a concept,

and then he'll put his knob in it, is that I'll come up with a concept, and then he'll put his knob in it, basically. He'll just add a knob to it. It's not even a metaphor. I'd say that's probably the basic secret for every joke that's ever been written. Good concept, but then they put your knob in it. Yep, put that on the poster,

quite friendly Mac. What I was getting to say, in my serious Parkinson interview mode, was I remember at the time and this isn't being said insultingly at all No, it's not. You were borderline dictatorial in those shows. Borderline's giving it a nice soft edge.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to do. It was your thing. I basically made the rules and Catherine Tate obeyed them like the subservient lady she is because she's known for being a meek and what's the word I would call it? Mae'n ddim yn siŵr. Ac rwy'n ymwneud â'r rheolau ac mae Catherine Tate wedi'u hymdrechu fel y dynion dynol y mae hi. Ie. Oherwydd mae hi'n gwybod ei fod yn dynol ac... Beth yw'r enw i? Beth yw... Ginger! Yr enw i yw Ginger.

Yw'r enw Ginger. A Dan, yn amlwg, roedd Dan yno. Ac felly rhwng y tri ohonom... Felly, chi'n gwybod, mae Dan ddim yn helpu gyda'r gwaith. Yn y bôn, roeddwn i a Catherine yn fwy na'r man a'r gwaith ac roedd hi'n y mab. Ie. Felly byddem yn ironi a chael pethau i'w ddarllen. Byddwn yn rhywbeth yn drwyddo. Dyma'r unig ddyn rwy'n gwybod a wnaeth drwyddo a chwarae gyda'i iPhone cyn i iPhone ddod i'w ddysgu. Dwi'n gwybod beth roedd yn ei wneud.

Dyma'r peth roedd Dan a'n Sborski yn siarad amdano. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau a phethau. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gadwraethau.

Felly roedd hynny'n ddweud, pan wnaethwch chi ddynnu'r sgets, oedd hynny'n dod i mewn. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael gael ei ddynnu. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael ei ddynnu. Roedd yn bob amser wedi cael ei ddynnu. Roedd yn bob amser wedi ar gael. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B.

I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B.

I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. I.T.B. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r sgwt yn y brifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r brifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol.

Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. Yn ystod y sgwt, fe wnaethon ni ddod i'r prifysgol. bad is my memory. But yeah, no, it wasn't a good time because everything about it was wrong. We tried to recreate a British show.

I got told I was going to America and the Americans got told they were staying in America. That suited both parties. Americans don't like to travel. I love to travel. Turns out it was filmed in Teddington. They didn't know it was that and they signed the deal. So they come over. They don't particularly want to be here.

I want to be in America. No one's happy. We recreated every sketch, word for word. Really? The show had already been pulled after Series 2. Was it a series? In Britain. Yeah, yeah. They recreated that show.

The problem is that everyone was told when they sell these shows, they go, this is a BAFTA winning show. It's a BAFTA winning show. And they start believing it. Because you've got to sell it. So the Americas, it was a BAFTA winning show. But it wasn't. It didn't go through the roof.

Just like The Anywhere's Essex. Iawn, yn unig. Hefyd, ar Afterwannau. Rwy'n hoffi meddwl bod hi'n fwy gwahanol â'r materiál. Felly yn America, maen nhw'n cael ei ddweud mai'r gwirionedd yw nad yw hi wedi gwneud yn dda yn benodol. Roedd hi'n gwneud yn dda iawn. Roedd hi'n gwneud yn dda iawn. Roedd hi'n gwneud yn dda iawn.

Roedd hi'n gwneud un a hanner o seriwm cyn eu bod wedi'i canolbwyntio. Ond mae'r problem yw bod pobl yn ei gwerthu'n dechrau'n credu arno. Felly maen nhw'n dechrau'n credu mai dyna'r peth gorau. Felly maen nhw ddim yn newid y sgwylion. But the problem is that people selling it start believing it. Yeah, yeah. So they start believing that it is the best thing ever. So they don't change the jokes. And I keep going, perhaps we should change the jokes a bit because they've got to cancel them. And all the Americans look to them, what do you mean cancel? We got told it was the best thing ever. We told it was the biggest show ever.

Well, not really. Was it a series in America where it used to play that? Series. Was it a series, yeah? Six episodes were filmed. How many went out? I think three or four, I'm not sure. So it's not bad going. It's good, isn't it? Yeah, so I'm not sure it's alright it's not a bad guy

it's good that isn't it it's alright that's not bad imagine if we got three episodes in America love that that'd be great imagine that

imagine that living the dream I reckon we would do well in America I think so got to do well somewhere haven't we yeah someone's got to like us somewhere

you two should go very much to the redneck community of America because I think that you'd be seen as cutting edge or as

get you well I think you definitely wouldn't want to be doing a because I think that you'd be seen as cutting edge or as get you well I think you definitely wouldn't want to be doing a podcast I think we'd be bummed

as witches to be honest with his long lady hair no one likes us Lee we've got fans but no one

with any clout well there's your trailer yeah because we're in Edinburgh at the moment

we're not now we are we are we are we are I think you might have given it Edinburgh at the moment. We're not now. No, we are. We are, aren't we? We are. We are. We are. I think you might have given it away at the beginning.

We said, tell us where we are, at the Haymarket Hotel. There is Haymarket in Edinburgh. There is a Haymarket Hotel in Edinburgh.

The Haymarket Hotel. That's how it's got a swimming pool. I know that because my mum's staying there when she's coming up.

Yeah, oh, that's true. I won't say what dates because someone might bomb it. So we're there now. You mean the hotel or your mum? You might be there. I'll refer to your mum, because someone might bomb it. So we're there now. You mean the hotel or your mum?

You might be there. I'll refer to your mum as it is. She'll be in it. She'll be in it. They'll bomb it all. The mum and the building. What can you say to cheer us up? Oh, right.

To keep us going. Okay. I'm sure ticket sales will be better tomorrow. No? They won't, they won't. They won't, no. Okay. We've checked.

We've checked all the ticket sales for the whole run. It's got to be something more like, on a more... A more realistic level. Yeah, not too realistic. I'm sure, however bad... It's more spiritual, spiritual. However bad the ticket sales have been today, I'm sure it won't get any worse tomorrow.

Because today's Friday, tomorrow's Saturday. It's not the tickets we're hovering about. Oh, what are you hovering about? Your general feeling. You sound like you're trying to promote with, oh, it's the weekend coming up. Don't worry. Yeah, the weekend, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, the weather's been bad, that's the other one. Don't i fynd. Yn ystod y dydd, mae'r wythnos wedi bod yn ddrwg. Nid oes pwysig. Yn ystod y dydd, roedd yn wythnos yn glas. Roedd yn glas ac roedd yn rhain. Y peth gwaethaf, pan wyt ti'n gwybod nad ydynt yn gwneud unrhyw gwrtau, yw pan fydd y leifletaeth yn eich sioe yn eich cynnig leifletaeth. Yn ystod y dydd, roedden ni'n gweld yn y dynion yn edrych yn y dynion yn y maes cyntaf. Roedden ni'n edrych yn y dynion yn y maes cyntaf, yn y maes pennaeth, ac roedden ni'n gwylio un o'n flywyr gwneud tri cyfrifiad o'r dynion heb roi un flywyr. year we were stood on the top balcony looking down into the dome into the main area and we watched one of our flyers do three circuits of the dome without giving out one flyer

and then we went let's go downstairs so she's seen us went downstairs and she walked past us and smiled oh my god four hours four hours a night we stood on that it was heartbreaking we should have written a show you gotta get you gotta get out of it yeah i decided to get out of edinburgh i made the decision it took me a while to get out but i think in 1997 do you remember the bird pit is that Rwyf wedi penderfynu mynd allan o Edinburgh. Fe wnes i'r penderfyniad, roedd yn rhaid i mi fynd allan am amser, ond yn 1997, a ydych chi'n cofio'r pit o'r byr? Mae hynny'n dal i fynd allan. Nid, ond mae'n dal i fod yn arwain fel ffrwm. Fe wnes i fynd i'r pit o'r byr. Fe wnes i edrych ar Charlie Cheese. Yn y bryd cyntaf, fe wnes i gweld yn ystod y ddau,

un o'r person sy'n cael ei ddod arno. Un o'r person sy'n cael ei ddod arno. Un person? Fe wnes i feddwl, mae'n rhaid i mi fynd allan o'r pit. Mae'n debyg, mae'n fflora bach. Y peth yw, roeddwn i'n drwm iawn o'r Edward. Efallai y byddai'r stori yn anghywir, efallai y byddai fi'n cael fynd allan. I thought I've got to get out of this job. Mackenzie's a little delicate little flower, isn't she? The thing is, I was so drunk at that end of it. I might have that story wrong. It might have been me landing on the... LAUGHTER

Might have been me that was landed on. Might have been that some cheese landed on me. Mackenzie wasn't even there! Mackenzie wasn't even there. But something like that happened. And then I made some sort of decision that didn't quite come true anyway for four years. It's not a great anecdote, is it? That's in chapter one. No, I liked it. I liked it. I liked it. Chapter one, that is. Well, it's all worth it. All my anecdotes in the

book are like that. I always think, what if someone finds out I might have it wrong? Because I sometimes think it's true, but I can't remember. So I always finish it with something like, or something like that, anyway. The chapters that you've not ended with, what's the word? I don't mind. What's another word for meek all my anecdotes end with a confused sort of well I think it was Richard Burton

it might have been Barry Junkle what's that what's that saying where they say if it's a choice between fact and a legend always print a legend

yeah I'll just do that put that Lee Mack always prints a legend that's nice that is nice isn't it I like that

Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. We've done a brilliant job. You've took unit sales, you've doubled them. We've not even mentioned Edinburgh hardly, apart from Lee Mack's bits. And we have done, basically, this has been, it's the first one, it's promotion. I know about this kind of stuff, because I've been learning about it. You won't necessarily get an immediate big audience with this podcast, but it's going to go viral, isn't it?

And it'll be existing in the ether for quite some time. So in about seven years' time from now, you'll get someone going, I fancy a book. And they'll search online and go, oh, hang on, there's a podcast. I'll listen to this one. This isn't going away. This isn't like my book. It's not burning. It's not pulping it. This is staying in. I'll say it again. The ether for some

time. You've learned two words before. Viral and ether. And then they'll listen to it, right? and it'll end up on YouTube. Here's an interesting fact for you lads. You don't have to have video footage on YouTube. Shut up. Sometimes it's just the viral audio stuff, and you're listening to the audio.

I know this because last night I tried to find the audio of the grizzly man getting murdered by the birds. You know the story? There's a documentary about the grizzly man, and I got told, you buy this documentary,...a gwnaeth yn ceisio dod o hyd i'r audio o'r Grisly Man......yna, y stori o'r Grisly Man. Yr adroddiad o'r Grisly Man... ...a dwi wedi cael ei ddweud wrthych chi... ...byddwch yn gwylio'r ffilm ac yn y diwedd... ...a'i gweld.

Yna mae'n digwydd nad ydych yn ei weld, ond yn ei glywed. Yr adroddiad am yr Grisly Man. Yn y diwedd, y llyfr yma oedd wedi'i bwyso gan y Grisly Man. Yn y ddiwedd, roedd yn cael ei fwyso gan y Grisly Man. A mae'n fideo. Ydych chi'n gwybod eich bod yn bwriadu y llyfr? Dwi'n gwrando ar y diwedd. Nid ydych chi'n gwrando ar y diwedd. the birds and it's on video. Do you know that you're meant to be writing a fucking book? Listen, so I listen to the end. It's not the end to you. I'm ashamed to just rant to you about bears. There's no man getting into the end. I go on YouTube, I find out, you hear audio stuff on YouTube, there's nothing video footage. So I ordered you and then listened

to the monkey eating a woman's face. I'm going to build myself up and watch Ken Bigley. I'm going to build myself up and watch Ken Bigley. Anything to stop me writing this book. I think there's something you should know, and that is that I have not been dressed for six days. Nice. You're looking at a broken man. You're like Sylvester Stallone writing Rocky.

But the thing is, it's great, because I keep my voice down because they're outside the book people, but if you're doing a book, you don't have to shave because they think it's an artistic decision rather than the realities which I just haven't. Hot water has not touched my body for three days. Nice, nice. Mae'n ddiddordeb i mi fod yn y llyfrgell, ond os ydych chi'n gwneud llyfrgell, nid ydych chi'n rhaid i chi ddysgu oherwydd maen nhw'n meddwl bod yn benderfyniad artistig. Yn hytrach na'r realiti sydd gen i, nid yw'r mwyafrwydd wedi cysylltu â fy mod i am dri dydd. Ond dyna pan mae'n ymlaen yn llyfrgell. Ie, felly nid ydych chi wedi cael... Mae llyfrgellau pobl yn ymddygiad â'ch ffwrdd.

Maen nhw'n teimlo'n ychydig yn ddwylo, fel llyfrgell. Ond, chi'n gwybod sut mae gomediynion yn teimlo'n ychydig yn ychydig? Ond maen nhw... Mae'r llyfrgellau hyn yn teimlo'n ychydig yn ychydig. Ac nid wyf yn rhaid i mi ddynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion.

Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Y cwbl o dynion. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Yeah, it's very odd I was telling you that, since you've been booked to do the warm-up. Can we not ruin the magic? Okay. Unfortunately, no, there isn't a new series. Oh, shit. No, there is a new series, which will be on next year, and Tim won't be in it anymore. Tim Barnes is not going to be in it,

which I can exclusively reveal was in The Sun six months ago. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But why, Lee? But why? But why? Listen, don't get me started. That's not a bad name. Don't get me started is a good name for it.

No, Tim decided he was going to concentrate on his own individual projects. That's the official PR line. The real reason is I kept sticking my index finger up his bum. It sounded a bit sexually, in his words, sexually aggressive. Yeah, no, he said it a bit sexually, because he did it one night when we were recording ei wneud un nos pan roeddem yn recordio, roedd yn ei wneud. Ac mae'n rhoi fwy o fwyder i'r ffordd. Mae'n cael ei ddod yn y cychwyn yn y gorau. Ond roeddech chi wedi... Fe fyddwn i'n ei ddod yn y cychwyn yn y cyntaf oherwydd fy mhentad yw, rwy'n amlwg yn dweud bod y bwl yn y ddae, rydych chi'n gwybod, i'r ddae. Ie. Ie. Ynghyd â fy mhentad, roeddwn i'n yno, roeddwn i'n am ysgrifennu fy nôs gyda'r peth nesaf, roedd hi wedi llwyddo ei hun. Ie, ie. A sut a wnaeth

ei gael ei ffwrdd o'i ffwrdd o'i ffwr room? All right, I think. He shouldn't have the code for your address in the room. No, he shouldn't. No. No one should. No. I forgot it. I deliberately, I had to be, Paul McKenna hypnotised me. So, I mean, I couldn't forget all of it and he just eventually hypnotised me.

So I forgot the last two numbers on him. I talk about hypnotism in my book. Stage hypnotism. Yeah. And the complete nonsense of it. I'm not having it. And I'll argue. I'm not having it.

I'm not having stage hypnotism. Stand up and dare him. I'm not having it. And I'll argue with you. I'm not having it. I'm not having stage hypnotism. Stand up and dare a row. I'm not having this. I refuse to accept it. You're really dropping some pretty heavy opinions. I refuse to accept stage hypnotism in any form. Right. And you want anybody that even remotely says things like,

ah, yeah, but there's some truth in it, and the kind of weirdos that think, I don't know, something else that's unlikely that might be true. The monster, the lot less monster. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know, something else that's unlikely that might be true. The monster, the Loch Ness Monster. I didn't realise you were dropping such bombs. Yeah, yeah, there's worse than that. You know, there's worse than that. I give some pretty strong

opinions about what you're eating. I started this being like heartedly saying, I'm now I know you. I'm genuinely worried about you. I'm worried about my own mental state. Yeah. I think you've gone absolutely... There's a tipping point.

Fucking, yeah, you're gone. Ask any author like myself, and they'll tell you... Is that your wife? I'm just glad you can hear the screaming. That's all I've heard for three months. I wake up thinking there's a crow landing in my ear. Oh, good almighty. So the first sentence of this book is going to be...

Did you do a trump? Did Lee-Bach do a trump on our podcast? I didn't do a trump. I can wind it back up and hear it. I think you did a trump. I don't think so. Sorry, Lee. I just thought the first sentence of this book is just going to be... It was a shit. I'm not sure about stage hypnotism. The man doesn't even get eaten by a bear. Bye.

Yeah. That's it. And then it's just going to sting. And then the doesn't even get eaten by a bear. Bye. That's it. And then it's just going to stink. And then the rest of it is just ripped pages. Some of them come in in biro right through the page. So, Not Going Out. So that's... When's that out?

Next year? On telly in February. Who's your best friend at Not Going Out now that Tim has left and you can't have a girl? Oh, I was going to say you. Pea cooking gamble. Pea cooking gamble Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. So how about that? Nice interview with Lee Matt there. At his butt launch.

Yeah. He's up himself. So that's all for today. Lee's going to do the credits in a moment, but all that remains for us to say is... Is our show is called Peacock and Gamble. Don't even want to be on telly anyway. In Edinburgh, by the way, in case you're confused. And that's at the Pleasance Dome, 9.40pm every single night of edinburgh fringe apart from the last night apart from the

27th yeah so first 26th yeah first already gone yeah can't get tickets for that now if i love no money no so please come if you're up here lee can you do the credits now please the peacock and gamble edinburgh podcast the peacock and gamble edinburgh podcast the peacock and gamble edinburgh podcast was devised and presented by rayacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast was devised and presented by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by Thomas Van Der Ey. I've written it phonetically for you. All music by Thomas Van Der Ey.

Today's guest was and I am performing at. Oh, I was supposed to say my name. Today's guest was Lee Mack and I'm performing at Waterstones. He's doing a book. I'm performing at Waterstones with my publicist. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production, hosted by Chortle.co.uk.

What does that mean? Oh, yes. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production, hosted by Chortle.co.uk. What's ready production? See you tomorrow. It's only pretend one, obviously. Oh, right, OK.

See you tomorrow, guys. Get photo. No, we've got to get a photo right, OK. See you tomorrow, guys. Get photo. No, we've got to get a photo with you. I thought you were trying to ask me catchphrases. In the old podcast. I thought it was, hey, take it easy, guys. It wasn't working out. An eight-year-old girl read that last time and did it better. Here we go.

You've done it now. I've been fucking gambling. It's a cod pass. Lee Mack. I'm very much in the medium of words now. You are, yeah, fantastic. I don't do speaking words, I do written words. Lee Mack, thank you for what we're going to say was an interview.

Good luck with the editing.