The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 5 (Gareth Richards)

Episode Date: October 11, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 5 (Gareth Richards)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 90 of 128.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Pickle and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Because it's on air, Peacock and it's not bad Gamble, it is Ray Peacock and it is our Gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Here they are! Yeah! The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh Podcast American

American I am Ray Peacock Should I do that as well? I bet Oh, hi there! I'm Ed Gamble And welcome to the Peacock. Should I do that as well? A bit. Oh, hi there. I'm Ed Gamble. And welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Why are we doing this American way? I don't know. Just to mix it up a bit.

Do you think maybe try and appeal to some Americans? Yeah, definitely. I'm a bit overtired as well, I think. And often the first thing to go when I'm overtired is my natural voice. Is your accent? Yeah, my natural voice goes and I start doing different ones. Your roots. You lose your roots when you try. All right. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. There we go, Welsh there.

Welsh. Good, welcome. My name's Ed Gamble. My name's Ray Peacock. And we're here to do a blooming podcast for you again. Do a nice blooming podcast, bring it out every day for free. Yeah. Number one in the iTunes chart. Yeah, we'll keep saying that until it's true.

Number one in the iTunes podcast chart. Not only that, we're doing a blooming great show, which is number one in all the papers. Yeah, it's number one in all the papers. Peacock and Gumball don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40 at the President's Dome, don't. Just don't. So, how nice for you to join us and how nice for us to be here.

Genuinely tired me today. I did four gigs yesterday. Yeah, four gigs. You did three? I did three, yeah. And largely pointless. No, no, because it did three? I did three, yeah. And largely pointless. No, no, because it was a couple of friends spending time together. Our show was brilliant.

Our show was absolutely brilliant last night. More or less full. Yeah. We were a nice audience. Yeah. We did Richard Herring's stupid, Richard's stupid idiot penis Herring's podcast. Yeah, that was pointless. And we talked about that yesterday, that we were going to be doing his podcast.

We went, oh, we went and did it. We went and did it. Yeah. Definitely did it. Yeah. Definitely did it. Yeah. Oh, what's wrong with you, Richard,

idiot, stupid penis herring? Do you not know how to press record on a recorded thing? It wasn't recorded properly. This is a man who claims to be

whatever he's called. King of Edinburgh. King podcast talking yoghurt up his itler. Right? With his cock out. Yeah,

with his cock out and oh, he's... And that's talking as well. Oh, he's 40 with two in out yeah with his cock out and oh he's and that's talking as well oh he's 40 with two in a bed right and

and he can't even record and his dad's a teacher so I don't know why he can't record it properly it came out all crackly and we did a lovely show for it

yeah lovely show and us being the perfectionists that we are yeah would not have put that out if it was our podcast. I can categorically tell you,

we would not have subjected your ears to that. Yeah. Even with a warning. But he doesn't give a shit about your ears. He doesn't care about you. All he cares about is getting his money that he gets. And his ego trip of putting blue paint on his face and going to Edinburgh.

Yeah, exactly. That's all he cares about. That's all he cares about. That's all he cares about, mate. So we did that first. So we did that. It's a brilliant interview. You won't be able to hear it, probably, although he claims to be putting out a bootleg.

Who would record a bootleg of that? I don't know. Well, we do know. We found out in the end. Don't get it, obviously, because we don't want to contribute to his download numbers in any way, even though we're on it.

We've got an interview coming up in a few days with Richard Herring. Yeah. Which is brilliant sound quality. It's fantastic. Fantastic sound quality. Crystal clear.

It is actually, that interview. Crystal clear. Yeah. So you've got that to look forward to. Two-parter. Yeah. So you can have two days of listening to him bang on. Yeah.

Then I went to do Chortle, their Fast Fringe show, which is all, like, Fringe shows down to three minutes. You know, shows that people have worked very hard to hone over an hour. Justinge shows down to three minutes you know shows that people have worked very hard to hone over an hour just distill it down to three minutes do it in three minutes yeah

why don't you I don't hang on I think you might have missed the point somewhat I think they don't do the whole show in three minutes they have to do the whole show in three minutes

no that's what I did that's what I did mate but I wasn't even there I know I've done all your bits in it right okay it was brilliant it was brilliant

everyone thought so in a way in a way yeah so I compared that and then did our show. Yeah. Thoroughly enjoyable. Great, yeah. And then we went to do,

there's a show called Secret Comedy Lock-In. That starts at half past midnight. Half past midnight it starts at. I'm resident comp hair in it. Yeah. I'm not doing every single night, but I'm doing a lot of nights.

But what I decided was, because I knew it was going to be a stupid busy day, I said to them, can we do Peacock and Gamble? So we went and did Peacock and Gamble. We headlined it. So by this point, I'd gone slightly mad because I was quite tired.

I've not settled into an Edinburgh routine of getting up later and going to bed later than I normally do. I'm getting up at the same time as I would and then going to bed later. So I'm going slightly mental. I was a bit dehydrated and very, very tired from the gigs I'd already done. And I had a bonk on. I didn't know you gigs I'd already done and I had a bonk on. This, I didn't know you had a bonk on.

I had a bonk on, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, so that's some of my brain not working. Yeah, so this is part of the reason I think that what happened at the gig happened. We went on, we were introduced

at about half past two in the morning. Yeah. Not a good time to be introduced for anything unless it's check-in for a flight abroad. Yeah, or an hotel that you've got a late check-out

from later on. Yeah. So we were introduced on stage. We did about a minute, didn't we, before... To silence. To absolute silence, because we should have gone on and just started with a joke. Yeah, that's what we should have done.

But Ed... I thought that Ed wasn't all there with it. Oh, yeah, he decided that. So after he checked to see if I wasn't all there with it, simply ran backstage and grabbed a guitar. Yeah, somebody else's guitar, which I got told off for later on. Yeah. And it was out of tune, so I don't know why I got told off.

But it looked like it was part of the show, you understand that? It did, yep, yep. I said to the audience, this isn't part of it. Yeah. But I think my character's so strong that they were like, oh, look, they're pretending it's not part of it, but it's still rubbish. So then I don't really remember what happened, but within a minute we had a woman on stage for the full gig,

for the rest of the gig. Yeah. Called Susan. Susan, yeah. She was a middle-aged lady. Middle-aged lady, I'd say. what happened but within a minute we had a woman on stage for the full gig for the rest of the gig called Susan. Susan yeah she was a middle aged lady. Middle aged lady I'd say well she won't

be listening to this early 50s. Yeah and I think she'd had a drink. She'd had a drink she'd had a drink in her life definitely. I think she'd had

drinks that day. I think she'd had a few drinks that day not only just in her life that day. Yeah and she stumbled to the front of the stage

and then we got her on stage. We were teaching Ray how to chat her up i was chatting her up a little bit but it just went it went more it went darker than it usually does we were we were cheeky with susan yeah cheeky explicit abusive is maybe a strong word it is a strong word sexually aggressive you know what abusive is a strong word but completely correct in this context i think we were panicking a bit but at that point we'd got the audience on site yeah we had

we'd actually got them back which was some no mean feat yeah absolutely and we'd got them liking us and going oh okay this is interesting what they're doing

they're making it up but it's actually quite funny yeah because we can do that when we're making stuff up but I think that's what I think that's the approach we should take to late night gigs

we've got a couple more just literally just go and make it up. I mean, I think it should be four bamboukas, get on the stage. Samboukas, they're called, mate. Bambouka. So we had Susan on the stage, but she won in the end because she gripped your hand and wouldn't let go.

Yeah, she cut me. Yeah. So basically in that scenario, when in the past we've done teaching Reha's chat women up, they're often very meek, a little bit scared of him. But on this occasion, she was the aggressor. Very aggressive.

She dug a nail into my finger in an affectionate way, but it did cut it and make it bleed. I'll tell you now, I went down to the coffee shop this morning and I was sat having my coffee and I touched it and all horrible goo came out of it.

So it's infected as well. Doesn't know what she's given you, mate. I think she's given me some Scottish. I think I've got that Scottish thing. You're going to start to get a sort of tartan spread

across the finger. Which means that I live here now. Yeah. And she was, there was one point where I thought she might be

going to fillate me. Her head went very close to my groin. I don't think that was the start of that though mate. She had a hand on my back. Yeah. What the others

couldn't see was she was just gently scratching my back. But that's lovely. You like that though. I. She had a hand on my back. Yeah. But what the audience couldn't see was she was just gently scratching my back. But that's lovely. You like that though. I do like it but it felt weird on stage having someone being

actually quite affectionate. I mean, in the end Susan really should have got the money for the gig because it was mainly on her. She was very much in control of the whole situation by the end

and we were like two tiny little lap dogs. Indeed, at the end of the gig I made a comment that comedy's not the same now everything now must be categorised in comedy

as pre-Susan and post-Susan yeah yeah she caused a stir yeah she changed comedy forever yeah she really really did

and I wish she could have been there I've got some photos actually because Sophie our stage manager you know big tits nice girl she was watching it

and she took some photos of it she showed me the photos please don't think we're exaggerating this. If Ed had said, during the sexy sessions bit he was doing, where he's telling me what to do to the lady

and what to say to the lady, if Ed had said, and then the lady just wanks off, Ray. Yeah. She would have done it on the stage. She would have done it. No exaggeration. She would have done it.

I don't know whether this speaks for her level of horniness and pissedness. Or my level of attraction. Or your sort of magnetism. Yeah, very magnetic bloke, mate. Yeah, very magnetic, yeah. I'm so magnetic, it can sometimes make mics just go all wrong. I could be doing an interview, for example, with Richard Herring.

Say Richard Herring, yeah. A star from the 80s. Yeah. And I could be doing that interview and suddenly all the mics go Dalek Dalek Dalek

yeah he's a brilliant star from the 80s he's a fantastic star from the 80s he should get more bookings for freshers balls

with Chesney Hawks yeah people like that I'm surprised that we're not interviewing Mick Miller Jimmy Cricket and Richard Herring

yeah all together all together let's talk about what we're going to do today because we've got a brilliant interview from Gareth Richards

we've got an interview with Gareth Richards who Gareth's a fantastic comic and sometime radio presenter as well. Yeah. Musician as well. He has a brilliant album on iTunes which is called These Songs...

These Songs... Could be used on adverts. Could be used on adverts. Have a look for that if you like the interview with Gareth. He's a very, very lovely lad and I think you'll enjoy listening to him. We had an absolute treat having him in the flat. It was really, really nice.

It's a more open and emotionally honest interview than we used to. Yeah, absolutely. It was quite nice. But I did enjoy it as well. Gareth Richards. Yeah, it's a great interview. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. And we're here with Gareth Richards.

Hello. Hello, Gareth. You all right? Yeah, I'm very good. And before we record these, we have to have 10 seconds of silence, which we know. Me and Ray know. Yeah. So we're used to it.

But we think, well, I personally think that it puts the guests ill at ease when they arrive and don't know that. And then have to sit there in perfect silence. They've just arrived in our flat and then we're going to write absolute silence for 10 seconds. I mean, Gareth wasn't even moving there just in case his hair made a sound against the atmosphere or something. But then you did say that to me as soon as I stepped into the flat. I wasn't allowed to say anything. No, what I actually said, Gareth, was shut the fuck up.

Yeah. Which is different to please give me ten seconds of silence. Yeah. And I was going to not say anything so I don't think the gag was necessary. It could be an awful podcast, potentially. Yeah.

Because you seem to have some sort of bullying streak with Gareth. Yeah, well, sure, we've got a history. Why? What's the issue? Well, me and Gareth... Actually, before you even say this... Yeah. I want to hear it from Gareth. Yeah, well, sure, we've got a history. Why? What's the issue? Well, me and Gareth... Actually, before you even say this, I want to hear it from Gareth. What's the issue?

What's going on here? Ed and I have known each other for quite a long time. We did The Comedy Zone together. Yeah, way back in 2009. 2009. 2009.

The big 009. 2009. The big other ones, 2009. The big one. All the ones, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, is that the story? What's the history of bullying here?

We did the comedy zone together. If you'd seen the show, you would have realised. Oh, really? No. We had fun, didn't we? Yeah. We established a dynamic. I make fun of Gareth.

He makes fun of me. We have a brilliant laugh. Yeah. It's really how men relate to one another really I've noticed this with you Gareth that people seem to

do you have a thing where are you put upon quite a lot in your life I don't think so particularly I don't have a lot of friends right maybe I freeze them out

because I am they did put upon me I mean I think in my own household I'm considered a laughing stock right I mean not much of the house I'm not no not in any way but is considered a laughing stock oh right I mean not master of the house

I'm not no not in any way but is it a laughing stock in that you make brilliant jokes and they all laugh

no no no no they just laugh very much at you so this is your wife and your children yeah yeah I have

I have a wife and two young children but also in our household all children are young aren't they really if you think about it yeah

as soon as they're not young they're adults. That is true. I don't know, because I think my parents would still consider myself and my brothers their children. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Context, isn't it? Yeah, 1-0.

Yeah. 1-0 to Gareth. Chalk that down to Gareth. 1-0. 1-0. Well done, Gareth. Well done, Gareth. Nice one, mate.

You did go there. Yeah, that was good. That would still be children. But are you amongst, I mean do you have any friends? Let's count them now. Let's count all your friends up. Right.

Okay so. And you can't have your wife or your children. They're not friends. No. So in Bournemouth I would say, where I live. Yeah. I would say I have no friends.

No. Zero. Zero. Right Bournemouth. Zero Bournemouth. Zero, Bournemouth. Okay, so Bournemouth, zero. Oh, it's a good joke for all the lads. It's a bit like the football, isn't it?

Like the football results. Do they have a team? Do they have a football team? I don't know, do they not? I think they have a football team. Do they sometimes score no goals? I don't know how good they are. All right, well, let's pretend they're rubbish.

For banter, for banter. Yeah. Right, none in Bournemouth, go on. And we're talking non-comedy people. Why? Would you consider anyone in comedy to not be real friends with each other? Because it's work-based.

Well, I don't know. I feel like that is cheating slightly. So I would consider both of you my friends, for example. Yeah, I get that. I understand that. But you wouldn't put us in with this game. Yeah, for some reason. Basically, you think that we can have a chat now

and we can nod to each other in the street and catch up and have a little cuddle at night. But possibly, if we never did comedy ever again, I'm not sure we'd keep it. You think when the chips are down, we've not got your back, basically. Yeah, but when he's saying this, when he's saying if we didn't do comedy again,

we'd never see each other, it's sort of looking accusatory at us. As if it's our choice as if we're going yeah we wouldn't go if we wouldn't ring you an offering as if he's going to text us

I'd leave messages but I don't think they'd be returned I would return for a couple of days or so yeah I'd certainly

reply to the first one but after that I'm not sure if it would be a regular thing it might be three years one of us is in the news

because we've committed a crime right which one do you think that would be it's a tricky one you are looking at you said

oh it's a tricky one and immediately looked at Ray what sort of crime do you reckon Gary murder a murder I would do a murder

who would you murder a violent just a stranger both sex and murder sex and yeah sex sex murder

with a stranger sex murder with a stranger sex murder with a stranger yeah yeah if I get cancer I'm going to do that right okay it's not on your bucket list

yeah it is yeah yeah it is if I get cancer right the first thing I'm going to do is take my car and ram it into other cars that annoy me

right and then sex murder with a stranger then sex murder with a stranger possibly one of the people that's been injured in the crash. Well, in fact, why don't we all combine all of it,

crash your car into a dolphin, then have sex with its dead corpse. That's a dolphin. Because that's what people like, isn't it? Dolphins before they die. Fucking a dolphin. Swim with dolphins. Just put them all together.

Yeah, all right. Right, so none in Bournemouth, Gareth. None in Bournemouth. No comedians. A friend called Chris, who lives in London. Okay, so one Chris. Chris. He has a wife, Gemma, who lives in London. Okay, so one Chris. Chris.

He has a wife, Gemma, who I also get on with, but possibly... No, because think about it. If they split up... Yeah. Sorry, Chris. You're not listening to this, definitely.

I probably wouldn't. You wouldn't see Gemma. Keep in touch with Gemma. All right, go on. What other town besides Bournemouth are you most in? London. London.

London town, the Big Apple. And who do you see there? Chris. Oh, Chris is in London. So Chris is London. Chris is actually a subset of London. Okay. London. London town, the Big Apple. And what do you, who do you see there? Chris. Oh, Chris is in London. So Chris is London. So Chris is actually a subset of London. Okay. So in London, you've got one.

Yeah. Right. Is there any more in London, Gareth? Did you make friends on your holidays, anything like that? No. When you were younger? When I was younger, no. A friend called Dave.

Who's Dave? What's Dave? Dave Lindsell. He's a journalist in Guildford. Dave's in Guildford. I haven't been in touch with Dave in a while. How long. Who's Dave? What's Dave? Dave Lindsell. He's a journalist in Guildford. Dave Lindsell. I haven't been in touch with Dave in a while. How long since you saw Dave?

I think I last spoke to him on the phone in the last six months. Right. That's alright. And I last saw him probably in the last couple of years.

Right, I'm not going to lie. Half. His messages. Yeah, half for Dave. No, no, I'm close. But his messages have started to take on sort of an accusatory tone.

Yeah, whenever you want to get in touch that would be fine. So he's sort of an enemy. In a sense, he cancels out Chris. Well, I think basically for Chris and Dave combined

I think we should go for 0.75. Alright, 0.75. We're here today with Gareth Richards who has 0.75 friends. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. And interestingly, Gareth, who has 0.75 French. Be cooking gamble, be cooking gamble. And interestingly Gareth, your show is about being an introvert, am I correct?

That's right. So what we've essentially done is kicked off with a brilliant thematic piece for the interview. Well what I'll say, just for today Gareth, let's lay it all on the line. Now, I've always been rather fond of you, both as a comedian and as a person. In fact, we did a gig together at Leicester Comedy Festival this year. Well, we're not together because we were just on after each other. I was on after you.

And I thoroughly enjoyed your show. And then I went for a poo before my show and listened to the audience who'd come out of your show who were predominantly praising it. Apart from one man, because I was in the cubicle so I could hear him all the year in all.

And I tell Gareth this, so it's not a problem show to him. One man who was at the urinal saying, don't you enjoy that? So another day he went, yes, brilliant. And I went, one man who was at the urinal saying did you enjoy that yes brilliant he went yeah did you not enjoy it he went saw him last year

really enjoyed him last year but you know wearing the same clothes wearing the same clothes he's clearly not doing very well is he so that man what he likes to see

is he wanted to come back next year you go to Leicester Comedy Festival and you see that man you better be wearing a crown you better have a nice

suit on and a crown and a big big pimp chain so I'm fond of you but what I'll say is speaking to you less so now than when I first met you

kind of awkward hard work hard work first off speaking with you there was one time when we did a gig together you were on stage and I'd been doing this

for a while with Ed where Ed would be on stage and I would take my shirt off so only he could see in the wings and he would laugh and just carry on and I did it my shirt off so only he could see in the wings and he would laugh and that and just, you know, carry on. And I did it to you one time

and you just stopped. You literally, halfway through the sentence on stage, you just stopped and stared at me. Yeah. And then just carried on. Yeah, like that. And then just carried on talking.

But it is a shock though, mate. I probably knew you as a friend for longer than Gareth did when you... Was that the first time you'd met Gareth? No, not the first time. But probably within the early-ish, not double figures of meetings. So it was, all right, mate, have a good one, and then shut off. Yeah, show all that.

Show all that. So it would be a shock. So I am an introvert. I take a while to get to know people. At first, I can be awkward. Is it because which isn't isn't ideal

I do realise that's not ideal I do really try to be aware of that and try not to be I think first impressions are important

for some people absolutely because we did the comedy zone together I took you straight away Gareth because you seemed like a nice boy

that's usually what happens I either click with people and just well that's okay so we can click no I think we probably had yeah but then you exposed yourself

in the wings. No, I just got the feeling. None of that, none of that story was Gareth's fault. No, no,

I can't read anything into Gareth's personality about this. But for a long time, I wasn't sure whenever I met Gareth whether or not he even wanted me to talk to him.

I don't, I won't, if you don't like me, I won't talk to you. It's fine, it's absolutely fine. And you know, then I spoke to Ed about it

he said no it's just kind of just a little bit sort of awkward in that but it's a nice bloat but I didn't know whether you knew it in your head

and whether that was either an issue to you I had a terrible realisation in the last year or so that probably every person I've ever gigged with probably assumes

I'm a prick I didn't think you were a prick no because I I never did because I enjoyed talking to you because you gave me lots of room to talk. But some people...

And you're very narcissistic. Yeah, exactly. Basically, Gareth, you acted like a wonderful mirror that I could just preen myself. Or an ideal girlfriend. Plus you also wear glasses so I could just look at my own reflection. But some people panic in the presence of that sort of quietness.

I'm thinking specifically of another man who did a comedy zone with us that year, Chris Ramsey. Chris Ramsey. Who could not handle the fact that you weren't talking a lot and would just rub it on and on and on and dig himself into deeper and deeper holes. Specifically, the first time we met at a preview, you hung your jacket up. I don't know how smart you dress on stage now, you hung your jacket up. Because you, I don't know how smart you dress on stage now, but it's less smart. Less smart, yeah.

Less smart. So I was trying to like wear a jacket, like be quite smart on stage. Yeah, it was a nice jacket. I liked it. Hung it up on the rail. Overall, it was a mistake. On the rail.

And Chris Ramsey arrived and went, all right, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. Oh, it's this fucking jacket. It's ridiculous, man man and started putting it on and like and Gav's going no that's

I said Chris yeah that's my jacket he's going no it's not ooh I love it like walking around with a jacket and just kept going

yeah Chris that's my jacket yeah that is mine no it's not I've fallen for this before yeah very awkward so again that was Chris's fault yeah

absolutely yeah too Chris's fault. Yeah, absolutely. But that's because I think in the presence of quietness sometimes, people panic and then just keep talking, keep ranting on, until it becomes more awkward. It sort of magnifies the awkwardness. But when you're stood there, are you thinking, come on, Gareth, say something? In your head, are you going, come on, Gareth?

I honestly am doing that. I sort of have a supportive schizophrenia. When, like sometimes, so with Ed, when I first met Ed, I just found it very easy, really liked talking to Ed, back and forth, okay, easy. If I find someone who I feel drifting away from me,

that maybe we don't have the common ground, there doesn't seem to be a way in it's closing in i start to panic i can't say anything i can't do anything i can't do it i can't do it are you frightened in those moments i'm a bit i'm a bit like i've kind of got used to it so i'm not i tend to kind of not be that panicked as i once maybe would have been sometimes when it's someone who I feel like this might actually be important for the rest of my life. Like if it's...

Like on your wedding day, for example. My wife's dad. Right, okay. Was that all right as a meeting? No. No. Early, when they first met my family, Laura's mum and dad, I was finding it hard to think of things to say.

And my little brother thought he would share the family anecdote of when he had walked in on me putting on mascara. Nice. And he thought he'd share that with my in-laws-to-be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That didn't go well. But no, it is... That's because there were gaps there that you weren't filling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That didn't go well. But no, it is... That's because there were gaps there that you weren't filling.

Yeah, I wasn't filling the gaps. He was thinking, oh, come on, I've got to make this magic work here. How are you meeting people like people who have been to your show and are enjoying it, like fans and stuff?

How are you meeting those? How am I meeting them? How are you in that situation? Um, okay. How did you go about it? I'd run out of the theatre very fast after the show. Weight in my arms about.

And then make sure, that was me on the stage just then. That was me. I can be okay at first so if they say nice things I can handle being complimented

I thrive on that yeah nice but it's not gonna last a long time okay what I am also not good at which is a which it can be disastrous

is I'm not very good at seamlessly leaving a conversation okay there's you need a certain you need an act to do in that situation yeah oh oh gosh

I've got to be somewhere else oh this has been lovely oh I've just got to go and talk to that person over there do you do many auditions

that was good that was alright oh I've got to be somewhere else and you're not wearing a watch I'm not wearing a watch at the very least

it'll terrify them I might be looking at a watch and I'm not wearing one are you good are you crops i think this is just a general comedian's thing but finding the negative even in a compliment and then make that making it even more awkward i was talking to someone about this yesterday about how many angles comics can come up with straight away to immediately find the

negative in something yeah so someone yesterday was saying to me oh numbers are up across the board today there's more people going to see more shows. Yeah. And I went well when our numbers are low then I'll come to you and I'll know who to

blame that our hopes got up. Wow wow wow. And he was like that's amazing how quickly you found the negative in that. Yeah or well

they're just going to see everyone they're not picking me particularly. Yeah yeah yeah. They're just going to see everyone today.

I won't take it personally that they're coming to my show. So your show is Introvert. Is it all one title or is it Introvert Subtitle? It's Introvert Subtitle. Yeah. Never been to Disneyland.

Nice. Have you not? No. Well, I went to Euro Disney, but I've never been to. All right. Did you like it? No, it was a bit depressing. All right, okay.

Do you talk about that in the show? I do. Yeah. But it's in the blurb, so I can... Okay. And then the thing is, is that not only have I never been, but when I was about 10 years old, my parents went without me. They went without me and my two younger brothers.

Why? So they went just on an adult's trip they went on an adult's trip to Disneyland to Florida that's Disney World to Disney World in Florida I've been there

yeah sorry Daryl I have as well but very ill for the whole thing mine was in 1980 they'd not built a lot of it then just a haunted mansion and they went

that's going to be Space Mountain yeah that mountain over there we're going to put a rollercoaster in so did they leave anyone to look after you yeah so some family friends looked after us

they had never been on holiday by themselves and in their defence it did just sort of happen they hadn't planned that wasn't the purpose of the trip

hang on nobody just turns like at Disneyland you don't go how did this happen they didn't plan this at all they just paid

a hundred dollars to come and take us so and there's that and there's some stories into happen? I didn't plan this at all. I just paid a hundred dollars to come and tell you. So and there's that a bit of and there's some stories intermingling

stories as a result of that. Yeah yeah. So do you think do you connect being an introvert with the fact you've

never been to Disneyland? Do you think if you'd had that first experience of meeting Mickey then you might be

better with people in general? I don't think so no. I think I think you're probably born introvert or extrovert there's a good book that I've read it's called Quiet the Power of Introverts

in a World That Won't Stop Talking by Susan Cain that was my research for the show and did you sort of read that? one book came out just at the right point and I just read that book did you read that at like dinner parties and stuff? just in the corner I took parties that along

so I've got something to read. I can't tell you... Sorry. Right in my Edinburgh show at the moment. And there's quite a lot of evidence to suggest that kids are born when they do experiment on newborns. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When they do that, yeah. Which sounds more sinister than it is. But you're probably born one naturally one way or the other and i think and there's an element like you know whether you're particularly anxious as a person also feeds into that and i'm probably an anxious introvert okay so which doesn't help either but um no it's more of a metaphor that as an introvert you feel shut outside of life's theme park oh okay nice nice that's good so you've thought about it i have thought about it really As an introvert, you feel shut outside of life's theme park. Oh, okay. Nice. Nice. That's good.

So you've thought about it? I have thought about it. Really? Nothing else. The downside of it is no one's going to come here because they're all coming to our show. Oh, yeah. Because we're all at the same time. We're all at the same time. Well, you're on five minutes.

You start five minutes after we start. You start 9.40. Yeah, and you start 9.45. Yeah, so we're more for the prompt. So if anyone walks out of our show very early which can happen

which can happen that's probably where they're going yeah they're not they loved it they loved what they saw yeah

but they just they've got a lot to fit in they know they know that your beginnings of your show are so tight yeah

and in some way are a microcosm of the entire show because how you structure it yeah yeah yeah they're a microcosm of the show are so tight yeah and in some way are a microcosm of the entire show because how you structure it yeah yeah yeah they're a microcosm of the whole show so really

if and if they know you really well they can just see that five minutes and they'll get the first five minutes to go right I know what's going to happen

he's going to shove a bing bong on his arm I'm going to do a song at the end and that'll be it yeah yeah I get it now I get it

we'll go and see Gareth I think our record for walkout was seven minutes last year. I think we had one at seven minutes. But we do set out our stall quite early in that we will be,

to some people, very annoying within two minutes, I'd say. I sometimes wonder if people arrive at our show, the Peacock and Gamble show, and think,

I've literally just left this with a babysitter. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Are you enjoying it this year? I am you enjoying it this year? I am quite enjoying it this year or I'm holding it together better than I have in previous years

because we were talking before we started recording and you were saying that you're enjoying it more than previous years I don't remember you not holding it together in the last two years

I don't remember you sort of well because I I fall to pieces in private if at all possible right okay and would you because I fell to pieces in private, if at all possible. Right, okay. And would you say you fell to pieces more year one or year two? So, first solo

show, which this is my third complete breakdown. I think I cried day one or two in the first year. Really? Wow. About what? Just think about it now. Feeling really hard. What were you crying about? I'm not going to cry.

Mate, we're like 19 in the podcast now. I reckon if you go up and down. If you cry now, your tears will lubricate our weight at the top.

We peaked at six. We peaked at six. And if we get back to six, then we can make a proper charge. Proper charge on herring. Have a cry go.

Basically, the amount of recordings there are of me crying on the internet but then you ended you ended that year by you were nominated for first newcomer

so I bet you felt like a right tit then after all that crying yeah I was and then did you cry because you were happy you big baby I didn't cry

because I was happy no I know we're happy it was honestly a terrible it was a terrible no one was coming

to my show the critics who did come and see it said it wasn't very good right and you've done your best you've tried your hardest yeah

at doing a show it's my first one so I won't claim I know what I'm doing particularly it's going it's going here we go.

Here we are now. But you're doing your best and it's you. You know, you're putting yourself out there on the line and people go, no persona to speak of. Is that limited? That's where it never lines. Maybe Gareth has proved to himself

more than anyone else that he can do an hour next year. Maybe he should think what he's going to do with it. Not that these words stay with you in it. No, no. Not that they're burned into the... It's true, though, isn't it? It's true. It's a cliche thing to say in that,

with the reviews and all that. Yeah. We need them in a sense, but it is horrible when you put your heart and soul into it. It really is, genuinely. What day did you cry year two? I think it was probably further in. Same reasons or different ones?

Maybe the next year, maybe it was just because I watched a film with an emotional bit in. Right. And then that was an excuse to let it all out. Yeah, yeah. Like what Shadowlands or anything. Yeah. And then just... Do you actually

sob when you cry do you do yeah well it's definitely there was a time I watched Shadowlands and had other things

going on in my life and I'm properly sobbed and sobbed oh I have cried already this year oh brilliant exclusive

can I just quickly suggest before you tell us about when you cried this year don't bring Shadowlands with you up to Edinburgh again I have a similar thing with Lost in Translation so I went to the Can I just quickly suggest before you tell us about when you cried this year don't bring Shadowlands with you up to Edinburgh

again. I have a similar thing we lost in translation. So I went to the cinema to watch one of the movies that's out at the cinema at the moment and it made me cry.

Right now hang on because I know at the moment Do we have to guess? The films that are out at the moment I can't pinpoint one that would be one that would make you cry.

Spider-Man. Spider-Man's still out Dark Knight's still out Ted's just come out Dark Knight It's going to be Dark Knight isn't it Yeah it's Dark Knight

It was at the end of Dark Knight Rises Spoiler We can't do this No I don't think I don't think it's a spoiler I think it's when he says to Commissioner Gordon

Spoiler he's in it He's in it Yeah Who says he's in it It's something of a Batman Oh Batman went away the last one so

that's a spoiler he's back If it is a spoiler we oh Batman went away the last one so that's a spoiler he's back if it is a spoiler we'll cut it out but that's okay Batman says to Commissioner Gordon

Commissioner Gordon says for some reason who knows he says this he says but people will want to know who the hero is and he

and Batman says we can all we can all be heroes I'll say it in a normal voice that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was Batman says we can all we can all be heroes. I'll say it in a normal voice. That was quite nice. He says we can all be heroes. Even someone who puts a coat round the shoulders of a young boy

to tell him that his life isn't over. And that did you. And that did you. That made me cry, yeah. Now, would that have made you cry if it hadn't been? No, no, no. No, we know, we know, Gareth.

We get it, we get it. Now, do you think it would have made you still cry if you weren't in that if it was just like in December or something

when you're just going about your normal gigs yes I think actually it might have done because my wife and children

went away to Spain for a week without you without me are you sure are you sure they didn't go to Disneyland

this is happening a lot do you just not have a passport? Maybe you're just not a holiday person. What is it about when people want to go away and enjoy themselves and have a nice holiday

and break? A holiday from what? Think about it. You know what you should watch? I Am Sam. Get I Am Sam out and watch that. That'll probably lift your spirits. I've not seen that one. Oh, it's heartbreaking.

Is it? Yeah, Sean Penn, Michelle Pfeiffer. It's literally all the way through going, I know I've got something in my eye. That's when Sean Penn

pretends... He doesn't pretend. He pretends he's acting a special. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does yeah he does so is our show sort of based on that

our show yeah that's a similar thing what I did are you pretending technically if our show was a film I reckon I could have been

like nearly up for an Oscar yeah definitely I think you could the thing was I think the important thing to do if you're doing a show where you're pretending to be special

I'm not special in it sensitive sensitive like Derek was I think the important thing to do if you're doing a show where you're pretending to be special though I'm not special in it sensitive sensitive like Derek not special like Derek

I'm not special like Derek I'm just a nice boy I would like to assess Derek and I think

that if you did an assessment on Derek there would be some things that he could have some help Or a grant about

Doesn't that Yeah that's a good point That's a really good idea If Gervais maintains I don't know either way I really like Sterling By the way Yeah I loved it

I thought it made me cry Well we've established That's no more For a person But if Gervais wants To carry on this argument About he's not He's not special at all

Go right right get yourself fully into character now and go and see a specialist right and then we're going to have to assess you're going to be assessed yeah yeah yeah absolutely do you think your shows are

you started off you had quite a lot of one liners that's because your club set was you know a lot of one liners and stuff and a lot of those first one linliners made it into the first show, and then you had some longer pieces. And they dried up.

I'm not saying they dried up. You had some longer pieces in the second show, and then, I've not seen this show yet, have you dropped more of the one-liners? Is it longer pieces? So what I think, so last year's show, I was doing a radio show for quite a lot of the year that I stopped doing in June.

And so I had kind of June and July to do it. And so a lot of my creative energy was going into that. And I think for like the little jokes, you kind of need, they take time. You can't just make those happen. Right, okay. They need to be inspiration and then they need to be honed. So they need to be around for a while. be inspiration and then they need to be honed and then so they need to be around for a while yeah so like the first six months of this year we're sort of just making little notes having

ideas thinking about what the show might be about a bit and just generally you know putting things together a bit in your head and then probably since the start of the year got something ready for february yeah to be able to do an hour of talking and find people which was great i did like it it's the first time i've actually watched it for an hour of talking and find people with stuff I hadn't done before. Which was great. It was genuinely great. Yeah, which was a good bit. I did like it. It's the first time I've actually watched it for an hour and I really, really enjoyed it. Oh, really? You did go out, you didn't stay in for the whole hour? Not for the whole hour.

I watched about 20 minutes of it. It's like we're saying, he can't stay in the room. Look at that, annoyed. No, I watched 40 minutes of it and then I had a show straight after you which I hadn't written. Yeah, you need to go and get some notes and that. But no, I was loving it. I was loathe to leave which is very unlikely in a show. Are you annoyed that everyone's gone on your posters and drawn glasses and Mickey Mouse ears on it?

I don't know why that started being a thing on your poster. But you see, you're like, do you know what, I bet that looked lovely that poster. Before someone drew glasses and Mickey it's all over it's ridiculous Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble why don't we do a quick role play okay so the awkwardness

we spoke about let's see whether or not you can just so what tips would you have for me how to overcome well the first thing I'll say to you

and so take away from take this away into your real life what we're going to do now you're in a safe environment. Very safe. You can be yourself. Now, right?

You've got to approach it. You've got to see the person you're meeting and go, the way they come across is so confident. Yeah. I'm going to match their confidence. So mirroring is a very good... Mirroring is very important unless they're being quite aggressive

and they want to fight you, in which case, the opposite. Yeah, that's good, Gareth. Edward's pointing his finger and Gareth's pointing his finger up to me but that's not mirroring because it should be that hand

no he's alright no it's not that hand that's right you're on there ok I am wrong none of this works like if the mirror was there yeah he's right

but we're mirroring moods not so much the actual it would be very weird to meet someone at a party and literally do everything that they would do that might not help unless you're dancing

well again even then I would say even then and they try and run away from you and then you would run away literally do everything that they were doing. Yeah, that might not help. Unless you're dancing. Well, again, I would say that is what it is. And they try and run away from you and then you would run away with them. Or run off

in the other direction. Exactly, exactly. They'll work it out and then they'll go, if I go that way, they'll go that way. So tips-wise, just, I don't know,

just a thing. Just not, don't be scared. Okay. You've been great in this. You came in, you were a few suits, you were looking round.

Yeah, like a little cat. You came in like a little cat. You scuttled right in, didn't you? You came in your refusif, you were looking round. Like a little cat. You scuttled right in. You went in the room and went look at this, look at

this. You went and explored a bit didn't you? Marked my territory. Sprayed just by the fridge.

So you've done all that sort of thing. So you now know you're in a safe environment. Think what's the worst that

can happen? Don't dwell on that. The problem is that I've got quite a good imagination so we know

I couldn't imagine if I can pretty much imagine pretty much anything. So I could do the worst that could

happen. So say how much should we be people who are important to Gareth's

career? Yeah yeah that would be good networking. I need to be good at networking. So we're a So how much are we having? Shall we be people who are important to Gareth's career? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be good networking. I need to be good at networking. All right, so we're a couple of guys who work for HBO, right? We work for HBO. Also, what I'll say as well is... Oh, no.

Oh, no. You have children, don't you? HBO. You have children. Yeah, I've got children. So you've done a set. I need to make this work. You've done some don't you? HBO. You have children. Yeah, I've got children. So you have done a set. I need to make this work. You've done some sets.

A couple of times. Think of a sexy mood while you're talking to someone. Even with men, it's fine. Always very helpful if you think of it in quite a sexy mood because that's when

somebody's at their most confident is when they're in a sexy mood and they are letting their inhibitions free. Erect. Fully erect. Do that if you want. But you let your inhibitions free

and that's when you're more likely to expose yourself as it were we work for HBO we're looking we are the bosses of HBO we are HB O is coming over in a minute

yeah O is coming over in a minute I've seen some HBO so what we're doing we're making a programme it's a big new show in America it's a live sort of stand up show live and there's going to be

there's going to be there's going to be there's going to be a British act on every week British acts with sort of strong one liners and

I honestly said nothing about that and we're looking basically you're in with a big shot to hit an international audience songs

some songs love the songs they've heard your songs yeah we're just standing here at a party. You've been directed over to us. We're just having a chat. Hey, is that Gareth Richards over there?

That's Gareth Richards over there. He's the guy we were being told about. Yeah. Yeah, I... Oh, I'm so serious. That's the joker. Oh, smoking my cigar. Right.

Oh, let's go... Hey, let's go speak to that guy. I think that sounds good. Marvellous. Okay. Who brought me over? Is someone... No, we're coming to you.

You're sat on. Right, now listen. You're chatting to a lady. But we're coming over and we're important to your career. And it's not your manager. She's not going to be able to help. And she can't be here for the chat.

So how are you going to broach that as well? So we're talking to someone. Yeah, chatting, right? Sorry, I didn't mean to touch you like that. I was just standing here and I was making a gesture. I'm so sorry to interrupt. Oh, hello. My name is HN from HBO.

This is my business partner, B. Billy from B. No, O is in the bathroom. O is in the john. O is in the john having a dump. O's in the bathroom O's in the john O's in the john having a dump O's in the john I'm Harry

H from HBO and this is Billy Billy nice to meet you Billy from B from B&O nice to meet you HBO the um

the TV company oh I think I think you're doing really good job what a nice thing to say I like um I like the Sopranos

oh everyone says that to us. Everyone says that. I like Curb Your Enthusiasm. No, they all say that all the time. What about a smaller programme? What about some of our newer ones? I like Flight of the Conchords. Oh, okay, that's good. Big fan. Big fan of the music.

How long have you been watching our shows? What are your early ones? I really like... You say you're a fan. You say you're a fan. Well, not really. It's still in the public consciousness. It still wasn't the first feature-length drama we featured. We're talking about comedy.

Can I check first of all that you are Gareth Richards? Yes, I'm Gareth Richards. And you're a comedian over here in the UK of England. Yeah, I'm doing a show. Nice, okay. That sounds wonderful, Gareth. And you're a comedian over here in the UK. Yeah, I'm doing a show. Nice, okay. That sounds wonderful, Gareth. And you say you like the Flight of the Conquest. Do you like your musical comedy?

Yeah, I do some musical comedy. Oh, holy fuck, really? Yeah. Shut the fuck up, really? I do some musical comedy. We're looking for one-liners, but we've got a spot for music, too. Hey, hey, Harry, we can combine those two things. Oh, that sounds fucking

brilliant, Billy. This is fucking amazing. Gareth Richards, you might be what we're looking for. We'll judge it in the next five minutes in this chat. No, that's, no, and also, I know you did Fly to the Sky, and once a man, a man, a man

did a thing on, in the Guardian Guide, a nice man said, my shows were good. And he said for the little... Slow down, Gary. The Guardian Guide? Slow down, Gary. It's the newspaper. Who the fuck is this?

It's going too fast. It's the newspaper. And you've got to hold eye contact. With both of us. Billy's only got one real eye. I'm not Russell Howard. I've only got one real eye I'm not Russell Howard I've only got one real eye

and you can't you have to guess which one it is always make eye contact with the one that's not the lazy eye but you've got to work out which is the lazy eye

it was the Guardian it used to be called the Manchester Guardian it's a newspaper in there I don't know that and he did anyway in the subtitle of the picture he said

you're panicking. He says... No, but there's something. We've got a connection I'm trying to get to. He said, for the subtitle, that he said, Flight of the Omnicord. Okay. Okay, so you're kind of similar to a programme we already do.

So we're looking for something new, really. But it's different as well. No, listen to me, Gary. One-liners. You do one-liners. Yes, I'm one-liners. Okay. Hit me.

Would you like to hear one? Hit me. I'll get my notepad out of my fanny pack. And stop banging the table. You look like a putz when you do that. Okay.

And also it damages the mic. Sorry. Okay. Give me a one-liner. Would you like to hear my rudest joke? What the fuck? Yeah.

Yeah, go on. HBO. Go on HBO. We can do what you want. If you want to say cunt, you say cunt. We did Larry Sanders. I say cunt on that all the time.

I like Larry... No, I don't. Was that HBO? Larry Sanders. Yes, it was. I got that. That's what I was getting at before. I've got that on DVD.

What, all of it? Yeah. Every last episode? I've got all of it. All in order. You've got it all on DVD? Yeah. Every last episode? I've got all of it, all in order. You've got it all on DVD? Yeah. How much did you pay for that?

I think it was about £25. Bullshit! I could have got you that for free. Wait, next time you want that, and you lose it, you ask me, you say Harry and Billy said, we'll give you it for free,

no dollars. No dollars! And I know a guy called Ray Peacock back in the UK of England, he paid 120 quid for that well what a schmuck that motherfucker

must feel now so Gareth one-liner give me a one-liner so when when I when I ejaculate bear with me a moment

before you start being blue can we do it like it is the show so the show we're doing it starts in three days time it's hosted by

Danny Wachewski you might hosted by Danny Wachewski You might not have heard of him Very good comment Out of NYC So basically, he's going to be bringing you on to the show Three days time and we're filming it live And we want you maybe to be in it So let's do it like the show

It's going out live, it's on HBO It's a national and international audience Hit me with your first line go so when i am ladies and gentlemen please welcome from the uk of england gareth richards hello hi everybody like nice to see everybody here everyone being so here i have my um my um so My, um, so, when I ejaculate, I do it vigorously, yet systematically. I cross the tits and dot the I's. Okay, that's your opening line. I don't know, I probably wouldn't open my eyes.

Now listen, that's fine. Oh my god. That could go either way. One, in one scenario, you're the bomb, you lift the roof. Everything you say after that is a hit. Bye-bye, roof. Goodbye, roof. The Richard star is arising. However, you're opening with an ejaculation jizzum joke.

Now, what could happen in that scenario? The audience go, who the fuck is this? Who the fuck? What does he think he's doing coming over here with his English humor and standing on that stage doing filth like that? Come on, Marjorie, we're going. It's live. Oh, I know we're going.

I'm not watching this. It's live. We're backstage. Our careers are on the line. What the fuck is he doing out there? We're just losing his mind. What do you do? How do you do damage limitation?

Nobody's left. Come on, you're still on the stage. Nobody's left without you. Come on. No're still on the stage. Nobody's left. Come on. No, but seriously, that was a bit rude. But another joke I'll do now. You're panicking. You're panicking. You're cowering in the car.

You're sweating. Another joke. The glasses are steaming up. I am from Bournemouth. Where the fuck is Bournemouth? Hang on. Wait there, Gareth. Apparently I've just had a text. Not Gareth Richards. Gary Delaney. Gary Delaney.

We're going to see Gary Delaney. He sounds great. He does more one-liners. Okay. Okay. Well, look. It's been a great party. But it was nice meeting you, man.

And I wish you well with your career. Yeah. We're from HBO. Thank you. Would you like a badge? And that was our interview with Gareth Richards. We're from HBO. Thank you. Would you like a badge? How did you... Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. And that was our interview with Gareth Richards. Fantastic.

Hooray, lovely stuff. I really think we broke through to him there. I reckon so as well. I genuinely enjoyed speaking to him. It was really, really lovely. It made me feel better about myself. So don't forget, our show is Peacock and Gamble. Don't even want to be on telly anyway.

9.40pm at Pleasant's Dome Dome. Dome. Every single night at the Edinburgh Fringe. Peacock and Gamble. Don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40pm at Pleasant's Dome Dome. Dome. Every single night at the Edinburgh Fringe. Do please come and see it. Don't forget to tweet about the show, about our show and the podcast as well. Come on, let's get it to number zero in the charts. Number zero. Because Richard Earing's going, oh, I'm number one in the charts.

Well, let's get this one to number zero in the charts. And it's not even visible in the top 50 number zero. So if you don't see us in there, that's because we're number zero. Yeah, we're number zero in the charts but do tweet about it and do your social media and all that sort of thing I don't know what you children do

but do all that and it'd be nice a bit of promotion for us it will and all the rest of us to do is wrap it up with Gareth doing the credits The Peacock and Gamble

Edinburgh podcast is a ready production hosted by chortle.co.uk today's guest was Gareth Richards and my show

is introvert never been to Disneyland all music by Thomas Van Der Rey did you forget your name

see you tomorrow what happened then I did forget I genuinely thought then this was going to be the first guest to nail it

and you forgot the name of your own show the bit you struggle with say see you tomorrow again Gareth and get out of our house see you tomorrow right go