The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Episode 1

Episode Date: March 21, 2021

"Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Episode 1" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 113 of 128.

Pico and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. It's the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Oh, thank God for that. Back in the game. I've been holding my breath since the last one. I'm Red Peacock, hello. Hello, mate. Oh, sorry. I was just so used to just having normal chats with you.

You're proper rusty, eh? It's been so long since I've been in the arena of podcasts. My name's Ed Gamble. Hello, everyone. Has anything happened in the world of podcasts, do you think, since we've been away? Absolutely nothing, mate. I can't imagine that they're very successful nowadays. The last big piece of podcast news was that we did one. We did one.

That we sneaked a sneaky one out. But then the main news was that we weren't doing it anymore. Yeah, they were like oh my god they're not doing it anymore so a lot of podcasts quit as a mark of respect yeah and then i guess a lot of the human beings who listen to the podcast yeah are just a lot of some of them sadly would have taken their own lives they took their own lives or put themselves into what they believe to be stasis yeah uh which was unfortunately for a lot of them, crawling into their little fridge freezer. Yeah.

And not even a proper freezer or a chest freezer because a lot of our listeners, and you know who you are, can't afford a separate freezer and fridge. You have to get a combination fridge and freezer. So a lot of you tried to crawl in to not even, you didn't even take the shelves out, which you should have done. Next time you're trying to put yourself in stasis, do take the shelves out. You tried to crawl in the Next time you're trying to put yourself into stasis, do take the shelves out.

You tried to crawl in the top with the ice creams. You're being very unfair. With the crunchy blasts and the fruit pastels. You're not taking into account the fact that they were upset, that they probably weren't thinking straight. Those ones that sadly did lose their own lives. Or put themselves into stasis. Either way, however it happened.

Now, we're back doing it. It's like we take that split up and all them girls were killing themselves so what are you thinking of them of course they'll be back calling the Samaritans

they were yeah ringing up the Samaritans Samaritans were specially trained I went to take that didn't I you went to take that concert didn't you yeah I went to take that concert

and a lot of the girls did survive barely but a lot of them went with comfort eating when they had to take that split up and did not split did not stop

or reproduce it yeah well they either made children or comfort ate A lot of them went with comfort eating when they had to take that split up and did not stop. Or reproducing. Yeah. Well, they either made children or comfort ate. And they did not stop doing that until Take That got back together again. But that's all right, though, isn't it? Because it fills the arena. It's easier, doesn't it? Oh, yeah.

Well, there's only four people there. Oh, heartbreaking. Sold out Wembley Stadium. And you're in a special director's box. Yeah. How was that concert? Did we ever speak about that? I think we did because we spoke about me slagging off

on Twitter and a Robbie Williams fan tweeting me directly yeah we did speak about of course nowadays I don't do the Twitter anymore no you don't all finish with the Twitter mate quit Twitter now and other big news so we we've not been doing podcast that was the last big the last big item in the podcasting news well we'll go over what we've been doing the last year, because basically... That's it, isn't it? Not doing a podcast and you quit Twitter.

Yeah, but we've got the Taurans to speak about as well. Oh, yeah. But normally, this Fringe podcast would be us with a guest. Yeah. But what we thought, we'd bring out a prequel one. Yeah. A prelude. Prequel.

Pre-team. Cast. Pre-team. Pre-team. Pre-opop pre-op uh pre pre pre nelson mandela pretty good podcast pretty good podcast this is just one which is me and ed which we're basically getting ourselves back into it it's a little warm-up yeah it's a warm-up for us as much as for you so don't be going oh i'm not enjoying it let's turn it off yeah where's the guest where's the guest we should probably practice actually? We should probably practice, actually.

Well, I'm a practice guest. Yeah. But yeah, but as we were saying, though, Twitter, finished. Finished now for me, Twitter. Well, you said that. You've gone, oh, not doing Twitter anymore, Ed. Ed, I want you to know I'm not doing Twitter anymore.

Yeah. And I'm like, I'm trying to sleep. But I'm not doing Twitter anymore. And I'm like, seriously, it's three. Yeah, stop texting me. Stop texting me. Let me have a sleep. But you don't take into account, I've got to do that now.

Because I've got nowhere to vent my thoughts. Yeah. See, long-time listeners of the podcast will know that I used to get about 25 texts a day from Ray. To wake up to, nicely. To wake up to. And a lot of stuff with him telling me what he was up to at the time. What happened there? It felt like a burp, but I think it was some sick, so I pushed it back down again. Oh, okay.

Like just, oh, I'm at the shops, fit girl just walked past, got an onion in my basket. Got a bonk on. Got a bonk on, yeah, that sort of thing. Just stretched and I got a bonk on. I'll tell you a secret right now. Because I am laying down on the floor. You got a bonk on now. Got a bonk on right now, mate.

It's not a secret, mate. I saw your bum go up in the air. Can you say that? Yeah. That stopped. That stopped when Twitter became popular because Ray found a way to do that to everyone. Yeah, in the night.

Yeah. But now he's made quite the stand and he's quit Twitter. I'm not made a stand, though. Which means that I just get it again. Now he's got his own personal Twitter. Yeah, but this is the problem. And this time as well

because I have left Twitter before. But I always go, that's it, I'm not doing Twitter anymore. And then sneak back on. Yeah. Like later on, because I've got to plug a show or something. Yeah.

But this time, I've not said, I haven't even said it on Twitter, I've not said it, I just stopped. Yeah, just stopped. Just stopped,

mate. Just stopped on your own personal one, and have decided, whenever you want to use Twitter, you just use, you just use the joint Peacock and Gamble. Yeah, if I want one of my rows.

To have arguments. Yeah. To just tweet, about what you're watching. Yeah, if I want one of my rows. To have arguments. Yeah. To just tweet about what you're watching. Yeah. So, according to Twitter, me and you both watch the Twilight Zone a lot. Yeah, we do. And really hate one particular woman. Oh, I'm obsessed with the Twilight Zone.

Yeah, I know you are. I've got really into it. Well, use your own Twitter to tell everyone. I can't. I've left it. You've not left it. I have left it, mate. Our Twitter is for pictures of us before gigs on tour.

Yeah. And promotional things. not watching the Twilight Zone. I say Ray is watching the Twilight Zone. So our show will be all about that. Which it might be, you never know, you haven't written it yet. We'll start tomorrow. Oh yeah, it is tomorrow. Yeah, it is tomorrow. No, that's alright, the thing, I'm allowed to, because it is our Twitter, well you can

use it if you want, I don't mind. No, I've got my own one, that's why I've got my own one. I've left my own one. Go back on your own one. If you want to say you're watching the Twi... if you're watching the you want. I don't mind. No, I've got my own one. That's why I've got my own one. I've left my own one. Go back on your own one. If you want to say you're watching the...

If you're so desperate to say that you're watching the Twilight Zone, like you say, you've not officially said you've left your one, go on your Twitter and put, just checking in, I'm watching the Twilight Zone. I'm watching the Twilight Zone, bye. Yeah. The point of the matter is, though, is that I don't know what it was.

I forgot. But I am in the right, definitely right definitely right i think we're just yeah they're just that's your umbrella opinion isn't it yeah i am i am i don't know what is happening here but i am in the right the tour finished yeah too late far too late we dropped quite a bollock this year we did our show last year peacock and gamble don't you want to be on telly anyway, 9.40 plus and Dome Dome. Well done. That was last year's show.

And that is no use now. That was last year's show. This year's show, Peacock and Garble, Peacock and Garble. I've not even learnt the names again. Heart. It's the same. Heart to heart. Peacock and Garble, heart to heart at the Dome Dome.

No. 10 o'clock. Peacock and Gamble, so that's just, not 10 o'clock, Peacock and Gamble. Yeah. So that's just the same as the... Peacock and Gamble so that's just not 10 o'clock Peacock and Gamble yeah so that's just the same as the Peacock and Gamble what

that's not in it Peacock you said Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble right it's Peacock and Gamble yeah heartthrobs 9.45

Pleasance Courtyard Courtyard Pleasance Below yeah that's where we are well done mate 9.45

so come to that if you want it starts tomorrow come on yeah come on now heaven's sake we don't have to go through all this again. Don't take the piss now. Just get down there.

Come on, come on. It's nice and warm in there. Take your coat off and have a nice relax. Take your coat off. Ladies, take your dress off. We'll have learnt some of it. But it's every single night. But our last show, people can go on.

You want to be on telly. 9.45. 9.40, Pleasant Stemdown. See, already that information's beginning to be pushed out now. It's been locked out of my head. Yeah. That one, we toured that from September. Yeah.

Until June. Yeah. Our last show, that was the 1st of June. That is ridiculous. What were we thinking of? I've got no idea. So we were still working on that show. That changed up until the last day.

Yeah, took all our time up. Yeah. Then we did the Radio 4 show. That's not going any further. We don't want to talk about that. Yeah. Then suddenly it was like, oh, now it's time for Edinburgh again. Yeah.

Heartthrobs. Yeah. Got to do that. I'm like, I haven't wrote it. Not wrote it. We have written, now it's time for Edinburgh again. Yeah. Heartthrobs. Yeah. Got to do that. I'm like, I haven't wrote it. Not wrote it. We have written it. No, we've not written any of it. No, we have, mate.

No, Ed has said that we've got to say publicly that it's all written and prepared, but we haven't. It's all written and prepared. But it's not, we have not even learnt anything because we've not written it. That is true, we've not learnt it.

We've not learnt it. When we're recording this, we're still on scripts. Yeah. It was only about two weeks ago, this. And we're actually recording this the day after you listened to it. Yeah.

Panic. Panic stage. That's how behind we are with everything. But it was a nice tour, though, wasn't it? Oh, it was lovely, mate. We went everywhere. Literally everywhere. You know all the places we went there?

Yeah. Nearly died several times. Yeah. Oh, in the snow. Yeah, did some horrible snow journeys, didn't we? We do a lot for you, fuckers. Barnsley? Barnsley.

Nearly died coming over there. Drive back from Barnsley it was like the end of the shining it was awful we were last car standing yeah there was a great point we're on the motorway where we looked in front of us there was nothing behind us there was nothing at all yeah and we were like and then we put the local radio on which said that the m1 was shut yeah but we were still we were on it that was a horrific night and then we got home and somebody had tweeted oh you didn't stay around to have your phone it's up. We were like, we're going to die. Yeah. What was your favourite part of the tour, please, Ed?

There were loads of brilliant shows, wasn't there? Do you have a favourite show? I don't think I do, you know. I enjoyed Salford because that felt really proper. And Ben Elton came to it. And Ben Elton came to it. And it was all sold out. And this was before Ben Elton's sitcom came out.

So it was still all right then. Yeah. Ben Elton came. That was really nice, wasn't it? Yeah. Because I'd been in touch with Ben Elton for a for a bit yeah and he'd said oh let me know when you're doing your stuff i'll come and see it yeah i was like okay cool not thinking that he would for a second yeah and then we were in salford where they were filming yeah and he just

came and he came yeah nice with the lady off to two packets of lager two packets of lager and a pint of nuts yeah whoever created that she was there as well she came to it as well yeah we had lots of celebrities on that tour didn't we yeah? Yeah. Oh, who else did we have? Ben Elton. Yeah. The lady off the two pence in our green pocket and up. Al Murray. Al Murray come in.

Greg Davis. Greg Davis come in. All on the same night. Yeah, that was good, wasn't it? Yeah. Oh, I've thought of two of my favourite gigs. Go on. Newcastle.

Newcastle stand. Yes, that was nice. It was quite early on. It was really nice. Oh, that was nice, wasn't it? Because that was the night where we were packing up in front of the audience and they thought it was part of the show, but it wasn't. It wasn't. And then we just spent about half an hour packing up, chatting to them. Yeah. And they all thought it was part of the show. Yeah, it was nice, wasn't it? Because that was the night where we were packing up in front of the audience, and they thought it was part of the show, but it wasn't. It wasn't, and then we just spent about half an hour packing up,

chatting to them, and they all thought it was part of the show. Yeah, it was great. Newcastle might have been one of my favourites, actually. Okay. I quite like Brighton as well, I seem to remember. Brighton was nice, but I remember in Brighton that there was a girl who sat on the stage, basically. Yeah, yeah.

It had come with her boyfriend, and she'd bought in tickets for his birthday, and he was obviously a massive fan, and she obviously hated that he was a fan. Yeah. And then that was compounded by her sitting through it. Yeah. And knowing she was right. Yeah. Like, no, this is rubbish.

Yeah. Brighton was fun because of that, I think. It's difficult. We did so many, it's hard to pinpoint particularly nice, isn't it? Yeah. Brighton, Newcastle, Salford. Yeah.

Which was the worst show of the tour, though? See, I can't remember bad ones or good ones. I just remember them all being pretty good. Well, normally, if we know it's going to be rubbish, we just go home anyway. Yeah. What was that worst show of the tour? See, I can't remember bad ones or good ones. I just remember them all being pretty good. Well, normally, if we know it's going to be rubbish, we just go home anyway. Yeah. Well, it was that one very early on. I think it was that second date which went out.

Did we? We waited, first of all. We gave them a chance to sort it out. And they couldn't get the screen working and they couldn't get the sound working. Oh, my God, Wrexham. And they just started letting people in? Yeah.

So the bar manager said, we're going to have to start letting people in. And we went, well, we can't do the show because none of the tech works properly because you've moved it from the theater into a pub without us without us knowing and he said well i'm gonna have to let people in and we said if you let people in for this show now we cannot do the show and he went i've got to open the doors we went fine he opened the doors we went over there so sorry about that ransom so right it wasn't our fault no and the person who's running the gig wasn't there they just weren't there nobody knew it was even

on nobody knew anything about it no that was the low point yeah that was the low but we had some great fun on the road in that didn't we no we always have a laugh on the road mate and you drive now so you did some driving as well did some driving around and left corners i'm good at very good there right corners i struggle not so brilliant on the approach to roundabouts it got better i'm better now I'm better now. I'm better now. I'm better now when I started. I remember University of East Anglia that we did.

I remember... That was all right, that gig? Brilliant. The gig was lovely. Yeah. And whenever we got up for Ed Sexy Sessions, we were kind of obsessed with that girl on the way home. You were, yeah.

Talked about her all the way home. Quite often, we did this thing called Ed Sexy Sessions where we get a woman out of the audience. And quite often, ladies, if you've ever been brought out of the audience, you'll be happy to hear that the car journey home is, if Ray is driving particularly, is normally Ray shouting your name.

Followed by sort of sexual grunt waterhog noises. Obsessive, sordid fantasies about them. Yeah, like a pornographic pumba all the way home. You thought that man was sweaty on stage because I was up from doing the work. It's nice. I was getting all clammy over you. Yeah. But that, yeah, driving back from East Anglia, and then there was one bit where I was sort

of half asleep, and we were approaching a roundabout. Yeah, I remember this. And I was like, this isn't right. Yeah. And you were on the right side of the road, because you thought it was one way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going into a roundabout. Yeah.

And it wasn't. No. And a car swung around the corner. It didn't swing around the corner. They were quite, they swung around. No, because there wasn't anything. I was just on the wrong side. Oh, that's not how I remember it.

If you want to change it so it's more exciting for the podcast. No, I remember it as being a car. Big truck was there, wasn't it? A massive truck like the one in Jewel. Yeah. Let's make this more exciting. We've got to start learning to tart it up for the podcast. Yeah. Big truck swung around the corner

I was on the wrong side of the road bloody idiot smashed into us pissed I was pissed no I was absolutely shit faced you were getting a blowy

off a midget I was in the back getting a blowy off a midget and then I thought oh my god this is it this is our numbers come up right

and then we went through the truck turns out it was a ghost truck ghost truck from a trucker who was killed there five years ago to the day. So that's another thing that happened on our tour. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. When we were in, what was it?

Was it Lancaster? Not Lancaster. Kendall. Kendall, that was quite a recent one, yeah. Kendall was one of the last ones we did. That was enjoyable on the tour because we did comedy for kids in the afternoon. Yeah, we got up there early, we did a comedy for kids gig.

I don't worry about gigs before I go on stage. No. I don't get worried about gigs at all. But I proper was panicking before that. Yeah, you were. I was all right. I was scared of what we might do. I wasn't.

All right, I was scared of what I might do. I wasn't. I knew, because the only thing I was worried about, and it kind of happened, would be the kids looking disapproving at your behaviour. Yeah, and they did, didn't they? They were a little bit like, well, didn't they? A little bit. They were a little bit like, well, this is just not acceptable.

No. Like, it wasn't parents going, oh, I hope they're not going to be naughty like this man. It was just kids going, I am four, and even I know this isn't right. Yeah. Yeah. That is a grown man there. Because you walked on stage, and you started scratching your bum. Yeah.

And when I said, what are you doing? You said, looking for Maltesers. I did that because i found one once yeah you found one i found one although it didn't have any crunch in the middle of it yeah it didn't taste right yeah it was all chocolate it didn't have any crunching i've scratched my bum for ages in that show yeah i thought it was hilarious then you sniff your finger simple fingers they laughed at that then we got naughty keith out yeah we're naughty keith uh um's ventriloquist puppet, who, as of yet, does not make an appearance in this year's show.

No, he doesn't, does he not? He died, of course, didn't he? He died on Twitter. Yeah, he died on Twitter, yeah. After the last show, the last one. Naughty Keith made an appearance. His catchphrase, some of you may know, some long-time fans will know that his catchphrase is piss. Now, obviously, kids don't know about piss,

so we changed it to bums. Well, they know about it, they just don't know that that's the word for it. I think they all probably do. Piss. A lot of the stuff you've got to change for comedy for kids and stuff is for the sake of the parents.

Yeah. So we changed it to bums. Bums was his new catchphrase. Bums. And we got a kid out to try out Naughty Keith, didn't we? I think that Naughty Keith is one of the best times I've ever done Naughty Keith.

Yeah, it was good. For kids. It was good. We did it quite keith didn't we i think that that naughty keith is one of the best times i've ever done naughty keith yeah it was good for kids it was good we did it quite differently didn't we and we did it that i i couldn't speak as naughty keith yeah because i had my mouth shut yeah so it was all it was quite scary i think it was terrifying but then we got the kids up as you say yeah to help them do a bit of ventriloquism yeah uh spent ages teaching this kid how to do naughty keith how to work the mouth and stuff he took it all in he was nodding he was nodding and he took Naughty Keith and immediately

bit your arm with it yeah really hard and you screamed so loudly right in his face it was hilarious and then he bit me he bit you as well

chased us around with Naughty Keith and then he went to the centre stage with it and went oh I am Naughty Weirdo

he said that and we went what do you do Naughty Weirdo do you want to do some more ventriloquism and he went no and just put it on a chair He said that, and we went, what do you do, naughty weirdo? Do you want to do some open trugelism? And he went, no, and just put it on a chair and walked off stage. Yeah, all he wanted to do was bite us with it.

Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. I shat myself when I was out for a run the other week. Brilliant. Why did you shit yourself? In my pants. No, not where, why? Oh, right. I was out for a run, I saw a roof, went and got on it.

And you know me on roofs. I'll be shit off the end of it, I know. Why did you shit yourself? Just because when I go for a run and saw a roof went and got on it. And you know me on roofs. I'll be shit off the end of it, I know. Why did you shit yourself? Just because when I go for a run, it sort of dislodges everything. And I normally try and evacuate the lads before I go out. But I hadn't managed to do so that morning. And where were you when that happened? Bishop's Park.

Bishop's Park, near the river. I thought, oh, there's a little poo coming here. I thought, this has happened before. I'll hold it in and I'll probably, I'll just make it, you know, I'll do one more lap or whatever and I'll make it back home. Yeah, I'll just jump down this bumpy path. Yeah, oh, no, hang on.

That's slightly more than it normally is. Right. I think I'm still all right. I'll go to the public toilet. Went in, absolute right off, mate. Oh, you hadn't realised you'd done it? Fully done it. I thought I'd held it in.

I thought maybe there'll be a smudge. What, are you three months old? Who runs about the park with a poo in their trousers? Well, I had to get to the public toilet. Does anyone know they've done a poo? Well, no, because I thought it was still in. I thought it had just sort of kissed. That's even more upsetting.

Kissed the pant. But when I got there, it was, mate, it was honestly like a train crash if the train was holding a load of shit. But that's upsetting because not only did you poo yourself, which can upsetting because not only did you pee yourself, which can happen, not only did you do that,

you didn't know you'd done it. I didn't know I'd done it to the extent that I had done it. Oh, so you just peed yourself a little bit, that's fine, carry on with your life. Well no,

because I thought I'd pooed myself a little bit, so I thought that would just be a nugget, I can scoop that out, throw that in the river or something. Oh my goodness.

Is it worth this? Well, I went to the toilet and it was, we're talking 20 minutes to get myself sorted out. And what did you have to do? Pants were gone. Oh my goodness. Is it worth this? Well, I went to the toilet and it was... We're talking 20 minutes to get myself sorted out. And what did you have to do? Pants were gone. So what did you do with it?

Did you leave them there? Stick them in the... I hope you didn't. Stick them next to the cistern, right? There's loads of rubbish in there, like old Oasis bottles, that sort of thing. That doesn't mean... An old Oasis bottle is a different thing to leaving your shitty trousers in there. Pants.

Pants. Did you really do that? Yeah. What? I'm going to leaving your shitty trousers in there? Um, pants. Panties. Pants. Did you really do that? Yeah. What? What? I'm going to jog home holding them. Yeah. I'm just going to jog all the way home holding them in front of me going, hello, shitty pants.

That's better than giving them as a gift to the general public. So, I clean myself. This story gets so much worse. Clean myself up. I don't know if I want to hear it. Clean myself up. There's a bit on my running shorts and on the backs of my legs, but I gave that a wipe. Ran home. I'll be honest. I wasn't proud of myself at this point it was not a good day as i left the cleaner was waiting to go in

so i ran home i ran home and i tried i basically ran a direction where he wouldn't be able to see my face if he cleans there regularly and also i've never worn that outfit that exact outfit again just in case he recognizes me from my But that's not the point. You shouldn't have left. So that man who you practically met had to then go and clean up your dirty pants? Well, here's the thing. This was about a month ago. I had a similar situation, but I managed to save it.

I went for a poo the other day in that toilet. Pants are still there. Actually, look, they are. Pants are still there, mate. So if anything, it's sort of shared blame. One, me for pooing myself. And two, he's not a good enough cleaner. No, no, no. His job description, even though he's cleaning toilets, does not cover take Ed's shitty pants from the toilet. He's a cleaner. He's making things clean. What is the least clean thing ever? Shitty

pants. Get rid of them. That should be his priority. He cleans what's already there. Yeah, my shitty pants were there before he went in. No, they weren't. They're not part of what he cleans. So we could go in there tomorrow. Both me and you could make a massive mess in there. We could get all bottles and things and make a big pile of them. A thousand bottles in the middle of it. It's not his job to then clean that up. Of course it is. It's not. He's the

toilet cleaner. He is the toilet cleaner. Alright, next time I go in there, I'll stick him down the toilet. Next time you go in there, you pick them up and you set them home. Oh, what? Next time you go jog there, I'll stick them down the toilet. Next time you go in there, you pick them up and you set them home. Oh, what? Next time you go jogging, I'll take a plastic bag with you. Yeah. And if it was a dog, you'd be going mental about it.

Well, yeah, I'd be going mental. I'd be going, it's cool to put a dog in pants. No, but if somebody took a dog and dogged in a poo on the ground, they've got to scoop all that poo up. Yeah. I didn't do it on the ground, mate. I'm not an animal. You've left your poo somewhere it shouldn't be. Yeah. Well,'t do it on the ground, mate. I'm not an animal. You've left your poo somewhere it shouldn't be. Yeah.

Well, maybe a little competition. Bishop's Park, public toilet, next to the cafe. You pop in, listener. If you get my... They're grey pants. They're too big for me anyway. They're in the far right... Far left cubicle as you go in.

They're down by the side of the system. There's loads of rubbish in there. You get them. If you can take a picture of yourself with them... Ed will eat them. I'll give you a shout out on the podcast. No, you won't. If you can find them, tell us you found them and I'll give you Ed's address. And you can take them to Ed's house and

just put them on his front door. Just stick them to his front door and we'll see how he likes it. And then you'll have to clean it up. I did half a poo in one of our shows once. Right, well, in one of our shows. It was a bit of an accident, obviously. A bit of an bit of an accident yeah it was it wasn't even half a poo it was just just started and i had a terrible panic yeah what bit it was in you do a lot of shouting and straining yeah it was in one of them bits yeah and then i was like oh dear and then i

wasn't sure then whether or not i could carry on do you think you would have had to and then when i looked it was when I went to the toilet, I hadn't done anything. It felt like I had... See, that's lucky because that's the exact same situation I was in. I was like,

oh, it feels like I might have done a bit, but it was complete opposite. Yeah, you battered through it. Yeah, I battered through it. Yeah, no, mine was... Mine was only a little bit, but it was still a panic in the show and I considered, like,

trying to get that information to you. How would you have done it? I don't know. That's the whole point. If we'd had to stop the show because you'd shat yourself, how would we have done that? I think I would have faked that I was going to be sick, is what I think I would have said. And then would you have told me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, certainly.

Yeah. But I think I would have gone, I've really got to go toilet. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't be sick. Yeah. And then I'd have run out, left you with the audience to deal with it. And then I'd have come back and gone, been sick now, all fine. Man was sick near me recently.

Yeah, I was on a plane, and I was sat right at the front. Is this just your way of, do you want to say you've been on a plane? I was on a plane because I needed to get somewhere in the air, right? Yeah. And I was sat in one of the emergency exit seats, because you get more leg room, and a man was waiting in that bit where my leg room was, because he obviously hadn't realised that that was my place for leg room.

And then he looked at me and he started going, and I thought, oh, he's a shit ventriloquist. Oh, he's doing it again. Yeah. And then he was gesturing to me to get a sick bag. So I had to get my sick bag and give it to him. If that was you in that situation, that's fine. There was someone in the toilet or whatever.

Grab the sick bag. You grab the sick bag and you go somewhere else or at least turn your back on the person that's given you the sick bag he didn't go anywhere he just opened it and he was sick like he maintained eye contact with me well at least he kept hold of it though

at least he held it for you thank you very much indeed go pop that with your pants Ed what is your dream Thank you very much indeed. Yeah. Go and pop that with your pants. Terrible, yeah. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Ed. Yeah. What is your dream for the Fringe? Oh, well.

Because we come up here, don't we? We spend all that money. But we don't ever sit down and think, why? Here's my, you're my genuine dream for the Fringe. Yeah, I'm listening now. Right, and don't let this upset anyone, right? This is my genuine dream for the Fringe. So I'm going to sip. Right, and don't let this upset anyone, right? This is my genuine dream for the Fringe.

So I'm going to sip you a coffee. I'll have some more coffee under our new mics. Right. I spent 500 quid on recording equipment for this year's podcast.

Alright, Billy Flashman. No, you're paying off, Vic. What the fuck? Come on, say your dream. My dream, genuinely, is that we miss our flights and the Fringe gets cancelled.

Why? That's horrible. Because then we could just do shows everywhere. But you're not looking forward to the show? No, I am looking forward to the show a lot.

My dream for the Fringe, the show sells out every night, really appreciative audiences and that's about it. That's all I want from a Fringe. The thing is, it's selling very well already, quite alarmingly well.

They're talking already about putting extra shows in for us. Yeah. I mean, it's always them in it but listen we have to do it listen mate

I said I want sold out audiences and appreciative audiences oh I see that's the because last year we had a pretty good run

we had a great run I'd like that again I mean we kind of kept it quiet didn't we because other people weren't doing very well and they were all going oh the Olympics

is ruining everything isn't it and we were like not saying anything. No. Because we were selling fine. Because a lot of people who like us don't really like sports.

Not bothered about it either. A lot of people that like us are the only people that like us. Yeah. Like, and when strangers come... They don't like it. Sometimes they don't like it. Sometimes they enjoy it.

I sort of think our sort of act is a bit like a weird village. Right. If our ten fans could come every night, that'd help. Yeah. I think if you're going to come to the show,

don't even think of it as a show, and that'll help. Yeah. Have we got a go? I think we've got a go now. Have we signed everything? Yeah.

Did we? Yeah, budget. Did we do that? We've signed it, definitely. Did I sign it, definitely? Yeah. Oh, it's not like me. It's not like us

that is it? No. Our first Edinburgh we didn't sign our budget. Never signed that.

Paid it back though, haven't we? That's stupid of us. Yeah. Could have got away with

that. Alright, we're going to have to go. But anyway, we are excited about it very much and it's going to be

really good. We are doing the worst job of plugging our show. I was trying my best to do it. I was saying I think it's

really funny. I'm looking forward to it. I am really looking forward to it and it's going to be fun. We're going to have a laugh. We are doing the worst job of plugging our show. I was trying my best to do it. I was saying. No, I think it's really funny. I'm looking forward to it. I am. I am really looking forward to it and it's going to be fun. We're going to have a laugh. Shall we say what the

premise of our show is? Yeah, we should do. Basically, this year at the Fringe, Peacock and Gamble, the act, us. I am Ray Peacock. And I'm Ed Gamble.

That's who we're playing. Yeah, that's who we're playing. We're coming back after a year of becoming megastars in Japan. Yeah, because last year's show was called Don't You Want To Be On Telly Anyway

yeah which was a reaction wasn't it to some horrible telly things that had happened to us yeah in real life in real life

and then you one day we were sat down chatting and you went we should just call the show Don't You Want To Be On Fucking Telly Anyway yeah and we both laughed about that and we both said

we should genuinely call it that yeah and then we're not one of those that actually want to put fucking on the posters. So we just took that out of it. So from all that horrible telly stuff that happened, and all those relationships that were ruined, and people falling out with people and all that,

from all that came last year's show. And this year, we took the premise from last year's show, that we're not on telly, and then thought, wouldn't it be interesting to see how those two people would react if they were successful? Yeah. Because we've always been underdogs. Yeah.

Now, obviously, we can't say that we're successful in the UK. Because people know. Because the audience will go, no, you're not. Success is based on knowledge. Yeah. If you were famous, we would have heard of you. Yeah. And you'd be in a bigger room.

Yeah. And you'd have learned it. Yeah. So we decided we would say we were famous learnt it. Yeah. But, so we decided we would, say we were famous in Japan. Yeah. But we're not. And the fear we've got at the moment,

there's quite a lot of Japanese writing all over things. Yeah. It's going to be full of Japanese people. That's not a fear. I love Japanese people.

No, same, but... Oh! Oh dear, looks like we found, looks like we found a little bit of prejudice there.

Oh, I tell you what, I don't want to get out there and see those Japanese people. Oh, you can take the boy out of the north but you can't because as you all know everyone from the north is a racist so i don't want any of that prejudice knocking around it was always going to be a risk wasn't it being that premise yeah because i think people will think

we're going to do stuff like that i think we're not we're not there's nothing in there no come it though if you want you do come it. So it's every night from the 31st of July to the 26th of August. Oh fucking hell. It's crept into July. Yeah. Every night 9.45

Pleasant's Courtyard Peacock and Gamble Heartthrobs It's going to be great fun. Come and meet us afterwards. Tell us how brilliant it is. Kiss and a cuddle. Everyone back to us.

Pot of wine. If you're a reviewer if everybody else in the room is laughing and you're not it's probably your fault. Yeah. Everyone back to ours. Pot of wine. If you're a reviewer, if everybody else in the room is laughing and you're not, it's probably your fault. Yeah. It's probably you. Don't write a review of how shit it is and say everyone else in the room was laughing

because then there's got to be a concession to it being overwhelmingly good. Yeah. If everyone is laughing and you're the only person there not laughing, you can't then say it's rubbish. Yeah. It's just that you're rubbish.

So any reviewers that come to it, and that happens to them, which has happened before, if that happens to them, just write, all you have to write to your reviewer is, I am rubbish. And we will put that quote on the poster.

Five stars for this show, as far as the audience is concerned. I am rubbish. I didn't get it. I am rubbish. Five stars. Perfect. That's all I want for a review.

Oh, and Ray is best. And he's got a big knob. Say that at all. So here's the review. If you're coming to review it, this is the review we want. Everyone else was laughing. I wasn't.

I didn't get it. I am rubbish. Five stars. Ray is best. And he's got a massive knob. Ray has got a big, not massive. Don't make it, because some girls don't like that.

So just a big knob. So they're like, okay, that's fine. That'll fill me up. Ray's got a fill up knob. Right, right, right. This is the review. Right. So just a big knob, so they're like, okay, that's fine, that'll fill me up. Ray's got a fill, Ray's got a fill up knob. Right, right, right,

this is the review. Right. So, everyone's laughing, I don't like it, I am rubbish, five stars, Ray is the best thing in it,

and he has got a knob that is perfect for to fill, to fill, any girl up. Just, a normal vagina. So,

his knob will fill a normal vagina, and it will be nice. You'll enjoy it. Yeah. And he'll push it in and out. Yeah. And hopefully

you will be satisfied. Jobs are good. And if you want to do dirtier stuff, he's probably up for that. Yeah. You know, it'll go with your fantasies.

Can you just stop because they're probably writing this down. Okay, sorry. I'll wait for them. So say like, say, I don't know what you're into but

if you're into like the dirtiest stuff like you might you might want to go on all fours and do a toilet right right we're not having this this is the review no review you might want to go on all fours and do a toilet in the garden right you might want to do that yeah the independent yeah all of that covering our whole poster the independent You might want to go on all fours in the garden and do a toilet. If you want to go on all fours and do a toilet in the garden. Number one. Number one in the garden. Thank you.

And Ray won't mind. He will play along with it and he will probably enjoy it himself. Yeah. It'll put you on a leash. Right. I'm not having this. I'm taking you out into the garden. I'm not having this.

What's wrong with that? Because it's not complimenting you. I'll be honest. The main'd say you're having this. I'm not having this. What's wrong with that? Because it's not complimenting you. I'll be honest, the main thing is it's not meant to me yet. And he'll go for a jog and poo in his pants and leave it in the cistern. Yeah, if that's what you're into, I'll do that. Yeah, all right. Well, there might be some ladies out there who like the idea of their boyfriend,

their little handsome boyfriend, who's all posh and goes to posh meals, but you make the idea of him being ever so dirty every now and again. And he will do a poo in his pants and put them by the system. Five stars. I didn't get it. I am rubbish. That is a brilliant review. That's the Dream Fringe.

Peacock and Gamble. Peacock and Gamble. So I feel like we've done a good little warm up here mate. Do you want to just do a quick interview warm up if I play a comedian?

Yeah, obviously you'll play the comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Graham. I'm Graham Sweetcorn funny character comedian. Alright, brilliant. Alright. So. I'm Graham Sweetcorn, funny character comedian. All right, brilliant. All right.

So welcome to the Peacock and Gumball Anime Podcast. And we've got a really, really good treat today. It's one of my very, very favourite comics. I'm here with Graham Sweetcorn. Hi. Funny comedian. Hey, Graham, how are you? I'm good, thank you.

Ray, how are you? I'm all right, man. Thanks for joining us here on the podcast today. Hey, no problem. Great flat you guys have got here. Thank you. Ed has gone to the toilet with some diabetes. Oh, dear.

Happens every now and again. And also, he was walking funny. I think he might the toilet with some diabetes. Oh, dear. Happens every now and again. And also, he was walking funny. I think he might have pooed himself again. Oh, dear me. Yeah, it can happen though, can't it?

It can, and you know what? It's perfectly reasonable to leave your pants. No, it's not. So, your show this year at the French. Yeah. How's it going?

It's great. Graeme Sweetcorn on the cob. It's going really, really rather well, actually. I do 12 different characters, but they all interlink in one story. Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

They tell the story of the gold meg. And it's going really well, actually. Okay, what venue are you in? I am in the Pleasance... The Pleasance Grass Stain. Pleasance Grass Stain on the Meadows. That's not a venue. Huh?

That's not a venue. All right. What time are you on at? Nine ninety... Nine ninety? Ninety-five. Nine ninety-five. Nine ninety-five isn't the time.

Cream sweetcorn. How much are the tickets? Seven hundred... How many gigs have you ever done in your entire life? What? How many gigs have you ever done? Gigs. Have you never done a gig?

What's it? How is your show going, Graham? Graham Sweetcorn. Is your name Graham? No. What's your name? Tony Sweetcorn. Why did you call yourself Graham?

Stage name. Right. Well, what's all this all about? Have you ever been on the television? Yes. Have you ever... What on? What programme?

Seven. Seven? Programme Seven? Yes. What on? What programme? Seven. Seven? Programme Seven? Yes. You're an awful guest. One of my characters is a black man. Right, do that. Hello. I'm just normal. What were you expecting? You're not on at the Fringe, are you, Graham?

Pardon? This is the worst interview we've ever done. Oh, no. And I think you're Ed. I think you're Ed. Ed, is that you in there or not? Yes, one of my characters. Right, well, you're not. I think you're Ed. Ed, is that you in there or not? Yeah, it's one of my characters. Right, well, I'm not in Graham Sweetcorn. You know what?

I've got a little prediction. I think Graham Sweetcorn will be back across the run of these podcasts. Oh, God almighty. I think every so often, Graham Sweetcorn's going to be popping up to tell us about another one of his characters and let us know how his fringe is going. Check in on the old GS, because as you can see from that little bit,

it's got legs, that character. Just Ed sat there going what? What? Everything you ask him he just goes pardon? That's what Ed

He's scared. That's Ed right? That's Ed coming up with a character. Yeah improvising completely. I'll tell you it is a little thing I'll tell you about

working with Ed Gamble. He'll come up with a name. He'll come up with a name so the name absolutely fine. Right let's do some hot seat with the character Ed Gamble. He'll come up with a name. He'll come up with a name. The name, absolutely fine. Right, let's do some hot seat with the character. What? All right, well, you come up with a character. Go on.

It's not me that's saying I can do it. Go on, you come up with a character. Now, if you think it's so easy, I came up with a whole character there. I gave him a show title. I gave him some characters that he does. It's a character comedian who was a character. Right, hello, nice to meet you.

Hi, how are you doing? What's your name? Tony Jacks. Tony Jacks. Tony Jacks, thank you. Tony Jacks. One line of comedian, thank character. Right, hello, nice to meet you. Hi, how are you doing? What's your name? Tony Jacks. Tony Jacks. Tony Jacks, thank you. Tony Jacks. One line of comedian, thank you. Hello, Tony.

Hello there, Ed, how are you? Good, where are you from? Is Ray not here today? No, where are you from? I'm from California. California? California, that's where I'm from. And where's your show on this year?

My show's at the Pleasant Stone. Okay, what time? 7.15, nice luck. Give us two of your jokes. Oh, I don't really do jokes. I tell like... Hang on, you're a one-liner comedian. No, no, no, but listen.

I do one lines. I do one lines, but they're not the jokes. It's the premise of the show is that I do one lines and I was going, oh, these jokes aren't funny. And then I expose myself

to the audience. You expose yourself to the audience. I expose myself... You sound similar to Ray. I expose my character to the audience. Yeah, okay. And the one-liners thing is kind of a joke.

It's a joke one-liner. Okay, well, give us one of your joke one-lines. But that's what I'm saying. No, just give us one. No, but they're not jokes. Give us one, Tony Jacks. Okay, well, here's one of the things I say, and then I'll explain to you what I do with it.

No, just say it, just say it. No, but I have to explain what I do with the show. You're padding, you're padding. So, hey, guys, it's lovely to be in Edinburgh. with it. No, just say it. Just say it. No, but I have to explain what I do with the shop. You're padding. You're padding. So, hey guys, it's lovely to be in Edinburgh. I've had a real nice time here. In fact, I went down to the meadows today.

Yeah. Meadows. And I thought to myself, hey, there's a good place to fish. That's one of my one liners, you see. So, the joke of that is there's no, there is no... This is no better than Graham's sweet corn. There is no way. I asked you better questions.

Oh, what questions did you ask me? You just asked me questions like you were just trying to catch me out. Yeah. What were you trying to do? I was just trying to expand the interview. Right. Get some out of it. Right, well...

Anyway, that's one of my one-liners. Anyway, I feel like Tony Jacks and Graham Sweetcorn are going to be popping up throughout the... Knock, knock. Here's another one. Who's there? Doctor Who. Doctor Who. Oh, I've messed up the joke. And I do that in the show, you see.

That's a thing. And then the audience are chuckling. Like Ray does in Peacock and Gamble. The audience are chuckling along with that. You've literally just taken a bit from an old Peacock and Gamble show. And we just have a lot of fun with that. Yeah, you just start doing your own voice. I tell long stories about... Hello, Ray. You alright?

I'm alright, thank you. Good. It's harder than it looks, isn't it? It is difficult. That's the sort of hot improvisation you'll be getting. Loads of brilliant guests to come. Let me try one more. Alright. Go on. Okay. Hello. Hello. Who's that? My name is Leonardo. Leonardo. That's just my name. Just Leonardo.

Great. So we'll be doing more of those. Ask me some more questions. What do you do? I'm a turtle. Why do you sound so much like Tony Jacks? I do fighting. I'm a turtle. I'm a cowabunga. You're Leonardo from the Turtles. Yeah, that's me.

Hi. I'm doing a show at the Fringe this year. Leonardo from the Turtles is doing a show at the Fringe. Correctamundo. Cowabunga, dudes. Knock, knock. Who's there? Don't tell me.

Right, fuck off. who's there don't do it right fuck off that was the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast 2013 woah the first one

I've been Ray Peacock I've been Ed Gamble it was a ready production hosted by Chortler.co.uk we shall be back again tomorrow with our first guest which is ooh

you'll see.