The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Episode 2 (Matt Lucas)

Episode Date: March 28, 2021

"Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Episode 2 (Matt Lucas)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 114 of 128.

Pico can gamble Hello and welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. It is now. Now it is in Edinburgh. Yeah, it is in Edinburgh. Now it is in Edinburgh now. The other one wasn't in Edinburgh. In a bedroom, that. That was in a bedroom in your house. It was in a little secret bedroom, thank you, you're welcome.

That was on yesterday. Yeah, that was where you live. Yeah, not very good, that one, yesterday. No, and I'm going to tell everyone where you live now. Go for it. Not London. There we go, so if you can narrow that down. And also, I'm away for the month, if you want to go and burgle me.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, no, you think you're going to do that, do you? Well, no, you're not, because I've got a house sitter. You have, haven't you? I've got a house sitter this year. Although, how could you really call a six-foot version of Animal from the Muppets a house sitter? That is a house sitter. How is that a house sitter. You have, haven't you? I've got a house sitter this year. Although, how could you really call a six foot version of Animal from the Muppets a house sitter? That is a house sitter. How is that a house sitter? Because people see that through the window and they will go, no, I'm not going there, look at that big airy bloke. Look at Animal

from the Muppets. Exactly, exactly. Well, hello, I'm Ray Peacock. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. And so this is the run proper now. We've got a fantastic guest today in Matt Lucas. Yes, Matt Lucas. Matthew Lucas from Small England. Small England. The shoot on the stars. Small Apartments. That new film is in. Up in the air.

Very good. The one where he's up in the air with Dave Williams. Oh, dude. Yeah, the airplane one. Yeah. I thought you meant Up. No.

I thought you meant the film Up. Or there is a film Up in the air as well, but I was deliberately getting it wrong for humour. Yeah, I've caught on now. It's called Come Fly With Me. Come Fly With Me? Yeah.

Yeah, I remember that. So, we've not done anything in Edinburgh yet, other than go for a drink. We've had a drink. Well, I'll tell you what we did. We arrived, we got to our flat. Hey, take it back a bit further, mate. Come on, we always tell us about the airport. Oh.

Come fly with me, you can link this all in, mate. I was going to do a little rewind section in a minute. We've been in an airport already. I was literally just going to say we got here, had a couple of drinks and a meal. Yeah, that's true.

And now we're recording that and then in the next section I was going to go, can I get a rewind and we were going to spin back to the beginning of the story. I see, but we don't do it. The next section will be

the Matt Lucas interview. Yeah, no, but I was going to do it when we interviewed Matt Lucas. No, you can't because we did that already. It was in May. Did we? It was in May, mate.

I thought you were quiet. That little bloke was Matt Lucas? Yeah, that little bloke is, that already. Did we? It was in May, mate. I thought you were quiet. That little bloke was Matt Lucas? Yeah, that little bloke was Matt Lucas. Do you know what? We were in his bedroom. I know.

I'll tell you some home truths about what happened, right? We got Matt Lucas' house. Went to his house. Yeah. He went, oh, come in. Flat.

It was more than flat. He went, come in you two. He didn't say that. His assistant said that. It wasn't even his assistant. It was his housekeeper. Yeah, she came and went, come on, Matthew's

having a shower. Yeah. Oh, right. Oh, that's what's going to happen, isn't it? Come on on, Matthew's having a shower. Yeah. Oh, right. Oh, that's what's going to happen, isn't it? Come on up, Matt's having a shower. Yeah. What did you say as we followed her up the stairs? I said, that is Matt Lucas doing a character.

So I was already laughing by the time we got there. But a very hospitable man. Oh, very. And he was very, very kind to us and he took us in his bedroom. I tell you what, very lush carpets. Was they? Weren't they, though?

Could be a layer there. You could sit on that carpet. You wouldn't need a beanbag or a cushion. You took a cushion. Off the bed. You said, can I have this cushion to lie on? And he said, yes, of course, because he was a wonderful host. And then you folded it over and lay on it like you would a cushion at your own house. But I guarantee that cushion cost over 200 pounds. Yeah. And I'm there scrunching it all up. You're all scrunching it all up. You shouldn't be allowed nice things. That's quite bad, isn't it? To do that in someone's house. Yeah. Hey, Matt, I'm there scrunching it all up. You're all scrunching it all up. I didn't even think. You shouldn't be allowed nice things. That's quite bad, isn't it, to do that in someone's house?

Yeah. Hey, Matt, I'm sorry about that. Yeah. I'll text him in a little bit and say, I'm sorry about scrunching up your cushions. Yeah, you should do. Yeah, I will do. See what he says.

I'll just tweet, I scrunched up Matt Lucas's cushions and I'm sorry about it. That sounds like an innuendo. What do you mean? I scrunched up Matt Lucas's cushions. What do you mean? That sounds like you did stuff to him and he didn't know. I know he knew.

He knew. So we went to his house and it was lovely. And we interviewed him for a long time. It's going to be a two-part of this. Yeah. We're going to have the first part today. And I think we're going to have the second part another day. It should be another day.

Yeah, we'll do it on another day. Both on the same day. Be daft with that, bringing two parts out in one day, confusing people. The second part will be later on in the run, I think. But yeah, it's a really nice interview. That was a while ago we did that. And then we have done, not done Edinburgh yet. Don't say that, mate. We have approached Edinburgh. Yeah, we're in it now. Yeah, on

the aeroplane. Yeah. Regular listeners will know that I always get frisked at the airport. Yeah. Every time I've been to the airport, last two years I've been to Edinburgh, I get frisked by it. And we always have a nice show. Yeah, by a beautiful black man every year. A beautiful big black man. Every single year. And we got to the security desk today and he wasn't there. Not a black man in sight. Not one in sight. Every single year. And we got to the security desk today and he wasn't there. Not a black man in sight. Not one in sight. I went through.

Bleeper didn't go off. You can jump to your own conclusions like that. Yeah. What I'm saying is, is he wasn't there and I didn't get frisked today. All I'm thinking is that when he's there, things get a little more racist against whites. Well, Ed, if you want to make that accusation at Luton Airport. No, what I'm saying is it's about time the balance was redressed. Oh, nice. Good save.

Yeah? Good save. All right. It's been years of the Metropolitan Police Force doing illegal stop and searches based on race. It's about time a wonderful black man worked at the airport and searched every white man that he saw, apart from me. Yeah, apart from you. You've never been searched. No.

But we got the same pilot, though, as last year. Oh, yeah been searched. No. But we got the same pilot though as last year. Oh yeah, we did. He was doing exactly the same. Exactly the same as he was doing last year. Bumping it about everywhere. I'll tell you what happened listener.

We took off and Ray started saying he's doing the same as last year as in taking off the ground. No, don't bumping about. Yeah, but you've got it bumps about

when you're going in the air, mate. He was over bumping that. It's called buffeting. He wasn't over bumping. He was over bumping. that. It's called buffeting. He wasn't over-bumping. He was over-bumping. I'll tell you what's happened now. That man has got a flight on DVD. He's watched it.

He's watched the first... He's showboating. Yeah, he's watched the first ten minutes or something and he's gone, I don't really have a go at that. I might do that for a bit. I might land this on a loop-de-loop and only lose about five passengers. Yeah.

Have you seen Flight? I've not. I know the base thing. Is it good? Ace. Really, really liked it. I'll land this on a loop-de-loop and only lose about five passengers. Yeah. Have you seen Flight? I've not. I know the vague thing. Is it good? Ace. Really, really liked it. I'll watch it. Enjoyed it.

Yeah. Don't know what the point of it was. Maybe Domani usually frisks you saw Flight and now he's training to be a pilot. That's why he wasn't

working there that day. I love that. How are your... I always do gigs in the run-up to Edinburgh. I always do like... I do as well all year round. I do some weekend-y things

just to get a bit more money. Yeah. Gigs that i don't really like and like we do festivals and stuff yeah yeah how have your festivals been this year i don't like festivals i never i never think oh i hope they're good yeah because i did latitude that was actually a lot of fun okay the main comedy tent of latitude and that was way better fun than i expected why because it's a tent with 5 000 people in it so i was000 people? 5,000 people, mate. Did you have a microphone? Yeah, I had a microphone, right? Just a little Fisher-Price one.

And it made me stand in the corner. Okay. In the corner, but everyone was facing the other way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's how you do festivals. So people say festival gigs are difficult, and they're not wrong, because you have to stand in the corner with some punters,

while all the other punters are facing in the other direction and Joel Domet is on on a stage on a stage so how are you supposed to get attention away from that

I see so you went to Latitude this year yeah you have to pay for a ticket when you're performing it's weird I see

I see what's happening there the one that was good though hey Levity yeah Levity was good that was a good festival wasn't it it's a new festival

isn't it I enjoyed that similar set up I found I'd stand right in the corner yeah and shout I didn't even get a little Levity. Yeah, Levity was good. That was a good festival, wasn't it? It's a new festival, isn't it? I enjoyed that. Similar set up I found. I'd stand right in the corner and shout. I didn't even get a little... Oh, they let me go on the stage for that one.

I did it. I went on the stage. It was me and Al Murray. So did you not worry that you were distracting people from the gig? No, you see, they had the cameras on me.

Cameras? Yeah, they had like big screens either side of the stage and they were filming me from the front. Oh, no, I didn't know that. And then Al Murray, the landlord, went on.

Although, I'll tell you what, mate. When we did... Could we talk about our gigs on the tour? Yeah. When we did Kendall... Yeah, Mint Cake. Right. Me and you, by accident, went backstage.

Right, this is unbelievable. Right. It is a bit of backstage gossip for you, right? Now, Al Murray, you might have heard our interview with Al Murray last year. We were good pals then. And he came to our show and he loved it because he was on in a different venue

the night we were on in Kendal. We thought, we'll go and say hello to Al. Yeah. Half an hour yet before stage time. Yeah. And we went down there and then we went,

oh no, looking at the audience, it started. Let's go and watch it from the wings a little bit, right? Yeah, which we're allowed to do because we're in the little room and he was in the big room.

Yeah, we are industry. Yeah. Went down there, right? Al Murray stood there, right, with his face to the wall. He hadn't gone on yet. Right, like Blair Witch. Yeah. Went down there, right? Al Murray stood there, right, with his face to the wall. He hadn't gone on yet. Right, like Blair Witch. Yeah, and we went in there and we were like, oh, we won't disturb him.

But then his stage manager piled in. Yeah. Get out of here, you two. Get out of here. Go straight through. Go straight through. Get out, get out. So we literally walked in the backstage and just kept walking because we were just, and

he was just stood in the corner. Al Murray just staring at the wall, right? Like Blair Witch, staring at the wall. So if you ever wonder, oh, how does Al Murray warm up? It's by being a psychopath. Al Murray just staring at the wall right? Like Blair Witch staring at the wall so if you ever wonder how does Al Murray warm up it's by being a psychopath. Yeah so anyway give him the benefit

of the doubt probably not his fault. Tweeted him a couple of times he's like oh sorry lads I didn't know about that you know it's

fine you know. Yeah I was looking at the wall. Yeah it wasn't but that's not my doing and then I spoke to him again he's like oh no it's fine it's

just you know stage managers being stage managers and I went fine I know what that's like but then we went to um I did Levity Festival with Al Murray on. Yeah, I did it as well.

I did it and Al Murray was on at the same time. No, he wasn't. Al Murray was on the night I was doing Levity, right? He was headlining it. I was about to walk on stage. He only comes and gets on my shoulder. Chatty, chatty, chat, chat, chat, chat. Literally to the second my name was announced. Chatty, chat, chat. I think he thought he'd put me off.

But no, smashed it, mate. Yeah. Smashed it, mate. Well done, mate. So there's a little anecdote about Al Murray. Yeah. That is the longest anecdote for someone to get to say that they smashed it.

Yeah. Yeah. I need better learning of that. Yeah. I should speak to Chris Ramsey or something and just try and get it to 140 characters. I also did Red Car Rocks Festival. Yeah.

I wanted to tell you something that happened there. Here's some things that happened at Red Car Rocks Festival. I did it last year, it was actually alright. Yeah. But this year it was on the seafront a little bit. A little bit. And it was a bit sort of dreggy. Right.

Right. I'm sure the people there are lovely. Yeah. And Pat Monaghan's from there. The comedian Pat Monaghan's from Red Car. He's a nice lad. A lot of people live by the sea a little bit. Well.

The thing is I just I almost want to say it's like they're just being driven further and further out yep and then you just

want to go in and just say keep just keep walking well I'll tell you what happened I'll tell you what happened I'll tell you what happened

this is the conversation I had before the gig right I was outside before it sat outside just thinking come on let's get through this yeah

just sat there minding my own business a lady came over to me lady sort of lady she came over she went are you on the television i went not really but he's been on the television yeah and she went on lee max program and i went not going out and she went yeah the one with the band when tim vine was in a band oh yeah you were the mc that brought him on the stage weren't you weren't you i went yeah and she went, you liar.

Right? And I went, all I've said is yes. All I've said, right? Then her fat mate came over, right? Yeah. And I'm a fat boy, but she was massive. Yeah. She came over, right? And the first one went, on Lee Mack's programme, this one.

And the fat one went, oh, she loves Lee Mack. Can you get her a date with Lee Mack? And I went, probably not. And the fat lady's went, so basically, you're just some twat, but you know Lee Mac. Right? Well, I haven't said a word. Yeah, but you couldn't get her a date with Lee Mac, mate. That makes you

a twat. Yeah, but I know Lee Mac, though. Yeah, you do know him, but you won't get a date with him. Anyway, here's another one of my celebrity mates coming up now. Matthew Lucas. Matthew Lucas, yeah. It was genuinely a lovely day with him, and he was very, very hospitable. Matthew Lucas. Matthew Lucas, yeah. It was genuinely lovely. We spent a lovely day with him. And he was very, very hospitable. And his interview is considered and thoughtful.

It's funny in places. And it's just sort of, it's just a nice, we had a nice chat, didn't we? Yeah. It was genuinely nice. We have to promote our own show. Oh, yeah. Can I just say, I did another festival this year. I'm sorry.

Which ended with the last two hours of me emceeing. It was 20 children in a tent in seats, 350. That's all right. Throwing hay and coins and cans and little paper bangers at me, at which point I told three of them to fuck off back to their tent and carry on wanking. And then that was the end of the day.

What festival was this? Cornbury Festival. Mate, I'm doing that next year. I'm definitely doing that one next year. No bother. One of them got a text, the child, probably 13, 12, 13, and I said, who's that text from? And he went, my mum.

And I went, you're a fucking loser. You're at a festival. That should be from your dealer. And then brought to you in a do-yeah bond. Lovely. Anyway, our show this year is called Heartthrobs. Heartthrobs. It's a lovely show despite the sort of aggression

that I just said that last anecdote. Very little aggression in the show. I should tell you now, we're just a tiny bit drunk. Because we come to Edinburgh and we had to carry our own bags to our flat. And we got a bit annoyed because we got all wet in the rain and that. And we thought, do you know what? Let's just go get drunk. So we went and had a meal under the pretense that we were having a meal, which was lovely.

But mainly I had vodka and can be juice. We ate the meal very quickly and then had another drink we wolfed that down and then I said to the waitress hey you'll have just another two here but don't let us have

any more after that in a posh restaurant so our show's called Heartthrobs it's at the Pleasance Below at 9.45pm and the Pleasance Below

is in the Pleasance Courtyard it was not it's kind of out just say Pleasance Courtyard I think it confuses people no because they'll go to the box office to buy tickets Pleasance Courtyard yeah It was not... Just say Pleasance Courtyard. I think it confuses people. No, because they'll go to the box office to buy tickets. Pleasance Courtyard. Yeah, but then they'll go and stand in the Courtyard.

They'll be directed. Pleasance Courtyard, let's get this right. We're not having a contention again this year. I'll tell you where it is. It's in the walls of the Pleasance. The walls of the Pleasance? If you think of the Pleasance Courtyard as a castle... No, don't do that.

It's in the walls of the castle. It's all in the walls of the Courtyard. If you're going to go in, if you're going to go in through the door, the little archway to the Pleasance, it's on your left. It's on your left before you even go through that archway. If you're walking from a certain direction.

If you've got a ticket. If you've not got a ticket, you have to go through the archway, get a ticket, get back out through the archway again. Go and queue up. Queue up. Look, just don't come.

Listen, if you've got a queue, you've got a queue. The fact of the matter is, if you want to come see our show, if you've got a queue, then you've just got a queue. And you will, even if only two people show up.

Yeah, and be yucky at all the venues. Here's Matt Lucas. We're here with Matt Lucas. Hello, I'm eating some of the gingerbread. A gingerbread man? Did you buy that yourself? No, you bought it for me, thank you. You're more than welcome. Which is why we can't say, oh, Matt being very unprofessional eating at the beginning of an interview, because it's our fault.

I'm a feeder. Yeah, exactly. You're an enabler. This is genuinely true. I thought I'd buy a gingerbread man anyway. Thank you. But I was thinking to myself, I really hope that I get there and say, oh, Matt, do you like gingerbread men? And you'd say, no, I don't like them at all.

So that you could have two? Yeah. Well, you can't. But Ed can't have them because he's diabetic. Really? I could have one, Yeah. Well, you can't. But is that... Ed can't have them because he's diabetic. Really? I could have one, but... No, no.

No? Absolutely not. All right, so have you checked? Mate, that will fuck you. That would be awful. All right. It'd be a tip, mate. Okay.

Do you have that from birth? I was diagnosed when I was 13. Really? Yeah, so I'm type 1. Well, it means probably you'll be healthier than a lot of other people because you know

that there's things that you can't do that's one of the upsides one of the downsides being I can't join in with the gingerbread man yeah you're not part

of the gingerbread club what about alcohol then alcohol's alright as long as I just keep an eye on what's happening with it and the next day and stuff

it can have more of an impact you don't drink it much though now do you no I don't drink it much when you were a big fat boy you used to drink more were you fat it was massive

were you yeah oh it was huge it was horrible on a scale of like one to fat where were you

well how are we talking well alright look at me what are we talking fat right we're sort of of a similar what

of a similar yeah I'm thinking like like you know like in American documentaries where there's the ones they have to cut the

wall of their house out and make a special bed is that top of the scale they need a system of weights and pulleys to sort of be washed it was like on the cusp of that

it wasn't did you have people come and clean you yeah I had a rag on a stick no really how much did you weigh I weighed 19 stone until when until about a year and a stick. No, really, how much did you weigh? I weighed 19 stone. Until when?

Until about a year and a half ago, two years. Goodness gracious. And what made you lose the weight? To spite me. To spite me. This is the right side of the story. Right. I'll tell you the truth of this, Matt, before he tells you his automated line that he always comes out with.

Me and Ed were both the fat one in this. It was two funny fat men together, and then there was no, oh, little and large, none of that. Just nice, two nice fat men together, right? And then E lost, what, six stoners on it, stupid? Yeah. And how long? And ruined it in about ten minutes. In about a year and a half.

And what was the moment where you thought, I have to do this? Looking at me, just looking at you. I tell you, I started trying to lose it when we had got a telly thing booked in yeah so i thought i'd try and drop a bit um and then and then i managed to do it that just that little bit start with and start just i'll just carry on and then because of the diabetes i decided i'll try and get that in order and that all came off with with doing that with trying to be healthy with that and do you you know the man in the papers whose picture you've seen recently

who's lost a very large amount of weight but has several stones worth of skin and so he's now a very odd shape

are you in that situation no I've got some I've got some because you lost it slowly yeah because I

lost it slower than slower than like people who get end up with loads of like a dress of skin

yeah but you didn't have gastric no you didn't have bariatric surgery no so you've lost it in a in a healthy way yeah with exercise i lost uh four stone but i put three stone back on why but then you're still down the stone there so yeah but it's not why did i lose it yeah was it because my doctor told me that that I was pre-diabetic. So he said, you're going to get diabetes if you don't lose all the weight. And I thought, if I get diabetes, I can't eat chocolate. So I need to lose the weight in order to eat the chocolate. Eat the chocolate that will get you back up the three stone.

I remember when you lost weight. You shifted it quite fast as well, didn't you? Well, you appeared to anyway. I actually, yes, I think I lost it relatively fast. But then... I remember that George Dawes suddenly wasn't filling the baby grow. Mm. But then I've lost weight sort of radically twice.

Right. As an adult. Once was after my father died, sort of just through the shock. I just think I shed loads of weight. But this time, since my partner died, I've put on the weight again. Right, right. So now it's time to, I say, having a gingerbread man.

Eat your gingerbread man. To finish this gingerbread man. Yeah. And then try and lose some weight. Is it an issue to you? Yes. Is it really? Yeah.

I don't know if it is to me or not. I don't know whether sometimes I'm just lying to myself about it or not. I know that I had a sort of semi breakdown at the beginning of this year where I fell out with someone and it really upset me and I lost, I think I lost a stone in two weeks, which I've since put back on with interest, but for our photo shoot

it coincided with our photo shoot and in our last photo shoot I'm slimmer than me I don't mind but that was from a shock. It was from a horrible situation. And I just, I didn't eat though.

I had Belvita biscuits for two or three weeks. Has the situation been rectified? No, no. We're still not friends but don't worry, I've refilled my appetite. Right.

Now, did you have a girlfriend at the time that you were very fat? Yes. And is it the same girlfriend that you have now? And does she prefer how you look now now i can't get a completely straight answer out of

her because she's very diplomatic and she knows that whatever answer she gives it will be wrong so if i say do you prefer how i look now she'll say yes i go i don't know you even went out with me when i was so ugly i don't think well i'll then i'll answer for her as well i think i genuinely don't think it would be an issue either way. No. I don't. I think it'd be different if you started slim and then piled the weight on. Then there might be, oh.

Well, that was it. I was dating somebody for a while and gained quite a lot of weight during the relationship. Right. But that's always happened to me. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a common thing, though, isn't it? Yeah. Because you relax.

Especially if you eat them. Yeah, yeah. But I I you know and and didn't that German it was some Austrian or German

chap who ate another man's bits or something wasn't there they went to the cinema first to see a very innocuous I keep thinking

it was Tango and Cash but it wasn't but it was something not Bird on a Wire but it was some very innocuous film like Air America or something

do you think the film had an effect on it, or do you think the film was like, there must be more to life than this? Well, it's just, I think it was brilliantly the kind of mundanity. Yeah, yeah. There's always a banality as part of evil. Yeah, yeah.

You often hear, like, what did you do before the murder? Yeah. Oh, we went to KFC. You know, there's always just something really mundane. Do it, well, whenever they show things on the news, like, and this is who we're looking for. Yeah.

This is him at a garage, you're like going, but he just walked into a garage and bought a Twix. There's a man who said he came in, he asked for pepperami, you

know. I pointed him towards the Ginster section, I think he said it'll be somewhere near there. You've got to

keep your energy up if you're doing horrible things. It's true. Carbs, a lot of carbs. Processed meat.

Twix or a pepperami. If you have a frenzied. Processed meat. Twix or a pepperoni. If you have a frenzied attack, then you've got to, yeah. So now you can see your penis. Is that nice? Oh yeah, I know it's horrible actually. Really?

No, I'm annoyed I can see it now. You, apparently, you get back something like, for every stone and a half you lose, you get back an inch of your penis. An inch? Yeah. So his penis now is five inches longer than it used to be.

Well, people don't talk about this. Well, we are now. Yeah, but I think it's time someone did. People forget that the fatty deposits, you know... On the pubis. Fat finds a place. Yes. You know, it will find its way.

And there are, yes, around that region, people forget. I'm very aware of it there, but I think your calculation is probably wrong. It's not an inch and a half of stone. No, no, no, it's an inch for every stone and a half. Every 10 kilos you lose. But he's lost six stone. Well, yes.

So do the maths on that. Well, beforehand you had a stub then, didn't you? I had a horrid little thumb sort of penis and now you've got a forefinger I've got that little sort of fat bit there

but I don't I don't think that I could probably afford to lose maybe 12 stone and I think

if I lost 12 stone I don't think I would then gain another 10 inches of cock I think you've

got to push it all down as you're losing the weight you've got to push it into the think you've got to push it all down as you're losing the weight. You've got to push it into the cock. You've got to milk it down into it, yeah. You definitely gain a significant amount. Right, well, I'll accept that. But tell the truth.

Did you just pluck those numbers out of nowhere? No, I haven't. My personal trainer told me... Actually, do you know what? I think she said... Actually, thinking about it properly, I think she said, actually, thinking about it properly, I think she said every two stone you get back an inch. Right.

So you gave three and a half inches. I'm not sure I have. I'm not sure he has. Be cooking gamble, be cooking gamble. But are you confident with your penis, Matt? Are you a confident penis man? That's not a phrase. Well, me and David would always end up with, you know,

stripped down to our underpants on stage or something like that. I mean, God, you chuck everything. You use every trick you can. And once we were doing a show in maybe Cardiff. I can't remember exactly where. Nottingham. And this was in 1997. And the show ended with a scuffle during a blackout. And then the lights came on. And he was in 1997. And the show ended with, you know, a scuffle during a blackout.

And then the lights came on and he was sort of trying to... He was grabbing me and it was as if you were supposed to think that he was fellating me, you know, or that he was in that embarrassing situation. And I always wore briefs, but once I wore boxers and my penis did come out. That was in the news. It was in the papers and stuff. Was it? No, you're thinking of Jeremy Edwards.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. No was in the papers and stuff. Was it? No, you're thinking of Jeremy Edwards. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. No, so my penis slightly brushed, the helmet slightly brushed David's chin. Yeah. Yeah.

What was his response to that? Or did you just never talk about it? I don't think we ever, no, I think we laughed our heads off because what happened was, I became aware of it. We were stood taking our bows and the audience were pointing at my... Your cock was out.

...cock and laughing and I didn't realise that it was out. And then I did a look down and realised and covered up. And then there was a genuine blackout. And so it was a kind of actually brilliant comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rather inadvertent.

No, I think we laughed our heads off. How many people were watching it? It was a few hundred. A few hundred people pointing and laughing at your cock? Yeah. I would have never recovered from that. Oh, I'm quite used to that. Peacock and Gamble, I'm quite used to that. People sometimes say to us about how we get guests

and how we get people on the podcast and stuff. And some are people we know, some are more famous people that we know, others are people that we know who are getting to be well-known. We get them on. But our meeting with you was... A highly Selassie

it was really you're hearing more and more about him aren't you wasn't it weird though how we met because we met I've actually met you before I met you in Edinburgh in 99

very briefly was I unpleasant no you weren't at all no you were a perfectly pleasant man and I met you once after Little Britain recording

series 2 I was a production guest and I met you very briefly was I unpleasant no you were absolutely lovely did I try and enter you no you didn't know it's good are you are you unpleasant to do that no i'm not unpleasant by accident i think no i think sometimes sometimes i say you do one show on stage and one show off yeah and you'll identify with this is that when you when say you do the edinburgh festival and you come off and you have guests and they have guests and

you sometimes find yourself you've done an hour on stage, sort of doing another 45 minutes. Because people have got into the habit of just sitting and looking at you for an hour. They sort of don't realise, but they, I think, subconsciously expect the show to continue. And so you sort of feel obliged to do some of the kind of more of the work. obliged to do some of the the kind of more of the work yeah and also i think you want to put people at their ease and stuff like that and give the disingenuous impression that you're just like them and um sometimes i find it hard to meet someone after a show right i'm not at my most relaxed after the show usually just thinking oh god that didn't work and we have to get to the edit and rescue that and turn that around and so i'm very

preoccupied after a show but of course after a show is when you meet lots of people so um i may have been distracted but it would not have intentionally been rude one of the things i can't really claim is ever to have really been drunk because i hardly ever drink right like a beer a year so i can't say i was off my tits yeah doing this and I don't do drugs or anything. So if I was rude, I was genuinely rude. But people don't understand that. I mean, there is that thing of... And you've heard about so many comics over the years. Do you know what?

The other night we did a gig, and I'm not going to say where it was because this will then make it clear who the comic was. But we did a gig the other night and... London Palladium, Danny Kaye. Olivier was creeping out the back but we've done this gig and there was another comic on in another room on the same night they want they interviewed us some people interviewed us after the gig and we were proper knackered but we went okay we'll do the interview and and um and they went and thank you for doing this because a another comic has just said they didn't want to do the

interview and they need to get home because they've got a long drive. So they're a twat. And we were like, what, really? Yeah, well, love turns to hate very quickly, doesn't it? But it's that thing, something like that, something as innocuous as saying, no, I don't want to do that, or no, I can't do that,

then you're a twat. Yes, and I mean, you know, and the same way that it's very dull for a critic to say something was fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They either say it was brilliant or dreadful. And in the same way, you know, if somebody meets someone off the telly and you go, what are they like? They'll either say, I loved them or I hated them.

Yeah, yeah. There's nothing interesting in going, he was all right. So, anyway, we were talking about how we met, weren't we? And so we were going to do the dave podcast yeah with alex horn and you were outside and i did a thing that i've never done before in my life ever where you walked past and we were talking outside and i turned around and there was matt lucas just walking past was this what this was a couple of weeks ago you're matt lucas this was when yeah yeah yeah yeah and you're walking past and you looked at us and i went

hey matt and i don't know you. And I've never done that before. But you thought you... But you know, but you do know me, but I didn't know you. Yeah, yeah. I did it with Gordon Kennedy once. Wow. When he was presenting the lottery show on TV, I saw him in the street.

I went, hi, Gordon. Just walked past. And then I thought, oh, no, it's just because of the lottery. Yeah. I told you at the time, straight after you'd said hello to Matt, I said my mum was once in a lift with someone from Z Cars and started a full conversation with him

and had a chat about what he'd been up to Was it Stratford Johns? As if someone surprised you could fit in Sorry that was mean spirited wasn't it? He was a big fella that's all But she got out of the lift and then only then did her brain kick in and go where do I know him from?

Oh, Zedcast. But she also did that with Ian Brady at Wormwood Scrubs prison. Really? Because she was a nurse and they went on a tour of Wormwood Scrubs and he came up and started chatting to her and she was like, oh, I obviously know him.

I've met him. There must be a doctor around here or something and had a chat with him and then walked away and someone came up to him and went, you do know that was Ian Brady. But isn't Ian Brady in Broadmoor or somewhere? No, no, he must be a doctor around here or something, and had a chat with him, and then walked away and someone came up to him and went, you do know that was Ian Brady? Isn't Ian Brady in Broadmoor or somewhere? No, no, it's not.

This was years and years ago. I know, I know, I'm all at Broadmoor, mate. I know I'm all, I did a gig at Broadmoor. Well, you've got a key. You've got Salmon's key, haven't you? Sorry, I'll take that back. No, you can't, no, it's on the record. And as we said to you, we don't edit anything out of this record.

So we were at Dave, it was the TV channel Dave, and we were going and doing that, and you were doing, you we don't edit anything else so we were at Dave it was the TV channel Dave we were going to do that and you were doing you were having a meeting or whatever you were doing I was having a meeting

in my guys as a man who owns production company to see what TV shows they were looking to commission see if we could make something

I like that channel I watch that channel I like it oddly enough the weird thing is I probably don't watch QI or Would I Lie To You when it's on BBC One or something like that channel. I watch that channel. I like it. Oddly enough, the weird thing is I probably don't watch QI or Would I Lie To You when it's on BBC One or something like that.

I don't get round to it. But then I sit in bed and I think, oh, let's watch something before I go to sleep. And that's when I put on Dave and watch, you know, half an hour of Bob Brighton being funny. Wow. Okay. We came into your media. So that's how I find out the news. Just a bit belatedly.

Six months later. You introduced yourself to us. We went andatedly six months later yeah you introduced yourself to us we went and signed in eventually and then you introduced

yourself to us and you said hello and you said I like your podcast I like your podcast yeah right

which neither of us believe so well I don't think you believed that I'd heard it but I have

right how much have you heard of it probably about half an hour oh of a what of a full episode Of a full episode?

Of a full episode. He turned it off? Of one of the earlier episodes. What was up with it? What did you not like? I don't know. I probably went and... I suspect what happened was I was so titillated...

Got horny. ...that I had to go and probably attend to that. But you should have just left it on in the background. Yeah, but after you've finished... You feel dirty enough already. You feel appalled with yourself. You feel like you should have a shower and put Dave on. Yeah, I felt soiled, exactly. So then it was time for some Dave.

All right, so when you said you like it, but you don't, do you? Because you heard half an hour of it and went, no, fuck that. I like the half an hour that I heard. Why did you not listen to more of it? Put them on now. Because there's a lot out there yeah it's a very crowded marketplace did you watch the matt lucas awards yes i did did you watch every episode you know what do you know what i was doing warm up on another program on the night that you were filming at tv center yeah and i actually came and loitered and watched a bit of it from the back did you watch every episode i didn't watch every episode I've not seen every episode

of anything in the last 10 years right I'm awful at it right well there you go but I've got it on Sky Plus still I've got them there waiting well don't bother when I watched

I watched all the rock profiles I bought the DVD of rock profiles and was disappointed well if you you were disappointed because all the bits the rock facts weren't on there yeah because we couldn't use

the pop videos of course yeah yeah I was good with that I thought you could have done it as an extra just add the just the fans but don't worry about it. I thought we, I thought possibly they had done, but if they haven't, I apologise. Little Britain 1, Little Britain 2.

I'm apologising in person. Right, fine, I bought Little Britain 1 and 2 DVD, I had the, Little Britain CDs in the car. Yeah, Little Britain Series 3, not. Didn't get, no, I did get Series 3. Little Britain USA, not. No, God, no, awful. I didn't awful what else my brother

bought him tickets to come see you live several times did you go along no we don't live in the

same part of the country right but we did a national tour but what he did was what my brother yeah

and I'm a working comedian so I can't where were you living at the time right really far away

Brickett Wood not Brickett Wood no where were you when we were on tour America we were on

tour were you in America I was living in America. Which part of America? California. Which part of California? Wherever you live.

Right. See, all I'm saying is people in glass houses. Right. I like that that's the smallest place. California, you couldn't get any more specific than California. Which part of California? Road 7. Yeah.

American Lane. Right, well, I'm beating you, though. Just send me a letter addressed to Ray Peacock, America. One America. There is an address that's One London, isn't there? Is there really? Yeah. I loved, you know, just slightly on that,

is when, in old films, where somebody makes a telephone call and there were probably only like 500 telephones. Hello, I'd like London 3, please. London 44. It's brilliant. Anyway, so I listened to an amount of your podcast. An amount of it, yeah.

Well, thank you very much for that. Will you listen to this one? I don't know. I don't need to. I'm here. No much for that. Will you listen to this one? I don't know. I don't need to. I'm here. No no but would you listen back to yourself?

Is that something if you're in a TV series or whatever do you watch it? Will you then watch it? You know people don't believe you

when you say no but I generally don't. I would watch like the Matt Lucas Awards because of the edit and things

like that and say oh no cut that out. No one will like that. But you wouldn't sit down and watch it when it goes out?

Definitely not, no. I don't. Is there a reason for that? Yeah, I think it's partly because I was there and it's usually because I'm dispirited by the experience of looking back at my performance. I mean, if you think about it, most people when they look at a photo of themselves,

most right-minded people, I have to say, are sort of uncomfortable looking at a photo of themselves most right-minded people i have to say are are sort of uncomfortable looking at a photograph of themselves now now if you imagine that not only am i looking at a photograph of myself but i also look like uncle fester on a good day nice right as well but also and i'm usually crapping something then then then it's then it's just i just you just chastise yourself But I think you have to have an awareness of what you've done and what it looks like, otherwise you won't get any better. No, I hate watching myself.

I absolutely hate it. But wouldn't the... Just to pick you up on that, though, if you both... But once, I'm going to really, really, really badly name drop now. Go for it. Really badly name drop now.

Once I've done a funny joke. Imagine if you go, I'm going to badly name drop Jennifer Popes. Did it all wrong. Did it all wrong you did it all wrong Ian Lawrenson okay so I was in Alice in Wonderland

yeah yeah right and obviously Johnny Depp was in it and we were talking about it and doing some press and I was there

with actual Johnny Depp of actual the actual man in real life and I said and I said what did you think of you know

congratulations have you seen the film we were doing some press he goes oh no I haven't seen it I said what did you think of you know congratulations have you seen the film we were doing some press he goes oh no I haven't seen it I said really he goes no I haven't I don't watch anything I do

I go I'm like that he went really I don't watch anything you do either which I thought was quite an amusing joke and he did too fortunately for me

yeah that was my comedy that was my comedy but actually I do watch things does it make a difference to you to watch something... You say you wouldn't watch things that you're in, but Alison Wendland was in 3D.

I did watch it, yes. Are you not interested to see yourself in 3D? Yeah, and think, oh, I should have lost some weight. You're playing Tweedledum and Tweedledum. I know, but my belly landed in the popcorn. Well, I don't know. I watched that, actually. That was interesting because, really,

so much of the work was done by the sort of computer effects people, a guy called Ken Ralston, who's a genius who'd worked on Star Wars. So I was interested to see how work had integrated and meshed together. So that was kind of interesting. And I wanted to see the film, and I was curious. I'd really, really enjoyed what Helena Bonham Carter was doing when we were shooting and I was very keen to see it

and, you know, and I would go and see a Tim Burton film anyway, actually. So it was kind of interesting but I've been in films and never watched them, ever. Okay.

I mean, and TV series and never watched them, I must confess, yes, it's true. That's really interesting. Why, do you,

you would watch everything back and listen to everything back that you do we have watched our TV appearance I can't I can't watch it we have watched it

once haven't we yeah we have watched it once we have watched that one yeah what have we done we did that one of them

talking heads things didn't we once that was a mistake but we did that but there's a couple of really funny bits in that

yeah yeah there is have you ever watched yourself on TV or video or heard your podcast back or anything and thought oh yeah that's so much better than i imagined it was gonna be do you know what no oh yeah it's always the other way around isn't it yeah well because i edit the podcast though i've made it better so so because i edit it yes okay but for a scripted material

for a scripted piece okay do you ever do you ever look back at something that you've been in that was scripted and think oh yeah that's so much better than it was in my mind because i never have done yet i had one oh no actually that's not true that's not true i would say as a writer when me and david would write little britain there were times when he would do things or you know or one of the other actors in the show would do things or the director would do something rather wonderful yeah and i'd think oh my god look how they've interpreted what we've done that's so much better than i would have imagined yeah anybody or or i can look at it and go oh that's a hell of a lot better than i would have done it well i did a comedy lab years ago called skin deep which was set in a tattoo studio and when i watched that back because i

thought i'd done a good job on it anyway yeah because what i felt at the time i thought i'd done some proper acting and then um when I watched it back, it had been shot so beautifully and it had been treated afterwards in like a green sheet and stuff. It was with Steve Oram and Tom Mead and the double ads. And that, when I watched it, I was like, I thought this would be good, but I didn't think it would look as good as this. Well, that's a lovely thing. But that wasn't me going me oh aren't i great and

that was like the whole thing but the experience of looking at yourself in photographs of looking at yourself in home videos or anything that anyone who's listening to this there's i would say the vast majority of people don't enjoy that experience yeah it's it's a it's a cringing you cringe yet as we speak specifically about you, your appearance is a big part of your career. Yes, absolutely. So it's also part of your fortune. Yes, yes.

That's not to undercut any talent or anything like that. No, I'm very worried. Your appearance makes you very recognisable. It makes you very, you know... You're pleasing to watch. But for you personally, you have whatever hang-ups you have. So it's kind of a weird contradiction, that. Well, my hang-ups you have so it's kind of a weird contradiction now well my hang-ups yes but then i've had that i mean i lost my hair when i

was six yeah so you know i i never and even actually before that i remember being three and a half four years old at nursery and i had terrible terrible eczema as a child asthma hay fever and i still have asthma hay fever unfortunately i don't have eczema so much anymore. And I remember even at three and a half, watching the other boys and girls playing, standing behind them and looking at the folds of the backs of their legs and seeing that their skin was clear and glowing and healthy and that mine was red and raw and itching. So even from the age of three and a half i remember feeling physically

an outsider right okay you know and and and i know that uh david williams who you know who who who a lot of girls uh and would actually find very attractive but he also always felt like an outsider physically and and little britain was for us was a lot about being grotesque before anyone else it's taking control yes it was about taking control of that and and being grotesque before anyone else can say you're grotesque even when i used to do stand-up which i did for five years on the circuit and i would play this character called sir bernard he would heckle himself yeah so i would heckle myself before you can yeah I will say worse things to myself than you can ever say. Yeah.

So, you know, a bit like Johnny Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see a sort of man in a kind of pool of his own sweat. Yeah. And making himself as unattractive as possible. Yeah. Far more unattractive than he actually is. Yeah.

To kind of say, you know, you can do no worse to me than I already do to myself. You don't know what it's like to me. Yeah. you can do no worse to me than I already do to myself. You don't know what it's like to be me, yeah. So I suppose it doesn't just boil down to being embarrassed by my own performances, but just a general discomfort with my own body. But is that premeditated, though? So you said, we'll be grotesque before you can say it.

Is that something that you've looked back on and realised that was what it was? Yes. Or was that, yes, it wasn't a premeditated thing? Because I read David's book. Oh, yeah. And I was, I'm not, I don't really like

modern celebrity autobiographies. I'm a big fan of like old ones from the 70s like Les Dawson and people like that. Yeah. But I'm not really a fan of the new, basically my general rule is

if it's not got an index, Yeah. it's going to be shit. That's how I feel. And I can't remember if David's had an index or not but I remember reading it and being kind of blindsided by it a little bit

because I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting how he wrote. I don't know what my prejudgment even was of him. I obviously must have had one, but when I actually read it, it was so beautifully written and so brutally honest. For someone who has, you know, on and off similar issues, it was amazing, but really interesting to see

that somebody so, like yourself, just massively famous and massively successful, and how those insecurities, even though you deal with them, that just doesn't go away, no matter what you do. Yes, I mean, I haven't read that book, but a lot of people in the public eye, I mean, look, a lot of people go into the public eye, whether they realise it or not,

to seek some kind of validation, I yeah and that's of course a very dangerous thing yeah to do because um once you're in the public eye your mistakes are magnified and in the modern age with things like twitter even your successes are painted as failures yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't advise it but you you when you listen back to do you ever listen to live gigs back? do you ever tape live gigs? I always tape them and then never listen to them I always tape them and think well that'll be useful

well it will be useful anyway for archive and it's great to have them we film every single Edinburgh show that we do we very rarely watch them back we film every night and you keep them do and we very rarely watch them back we film them every night oh really yeah we film it

every single night and you keep them we keep a selection of them some of you go we can never look at that but yeah but the most useful

ones to watch would be the ones where everyone wants yeah yeah of course they would but we'll never watch those because I couldn't

bring myself to watch do you know what the only one that I watched last year was we had one early on when Chortle reviewed us, and I knew Chortle were in because that show last year, I was at the back of the audience.

So I'd seen Steve from Chortle come in, and I was like, oh, fuck. And then I was thinking, do I even let Ed know when I get to the stage? I was like, I won't say nothing at all. He'll probably pick up from my energy. He should be doing it that way every night, but anyway. And we ripped, we honestly smashed the shit out of it honestly smashed the shell like really really did and it was four stars

and I never thought I'd find myself disappointing before stars and I gave it a week I think it's a week yeah I'm gonna give it a week of sell and then I'm gonna watch that again just to see whether I've remembered this differently and watched it and I'm you coming home and me just going mate it was fucking five stars it was absolutely five stars we did it and thought this is as good as

we remember it yeah okay I remember doing us having a cracking show the night Chortle were in right

and getting a terrible review this is for Sir Bernard no for Little Britain live tour but I think probably you're

not really once you're playing arenas you're not really Chortles audience and so you don't really fall into their remits so they rightly or wrongly probably you know if Daniel Kitson played an arena they'd probably be disappointed

in some respects I think it's just incompatible with what that website stands for so it's understood but it's your reviews will never what that website stands for so it's understood but it's your reviews will never make your career and they will never break your career so you must

never worry about getting good or bad reviews yeah we should talk about Edinburgh actually I wanted to talk about Rock Profiles it's called Rock Profile. If you say Rock Profiles again

the podcast is over. Because I'm talking about all the episodes. So I was actually saying it factually correct because I wanted to talk about Rock Profiles as in I want to talk about several episodes of it. Oh well if you want to talk about the Pantheon then fine. And that was on UK Play. UK Play

which then changed its name to UK. I was on UK Play. UK Play, which then changed its name to? Play. UK. I was on UK Play. I was in Terrorville. It was a programme that was all digital. The whole thing was digital.

It was all green screen. I bet that's dated brilliantly. It was woeful. It was woeful. Really? It was us and it was Count Arthur Strong. Oh, I love him.

Yeah, he's fantastic. And what were they called? That double act? Morecambe and Wise. No, they weren't on it. They couldn't do it. Mike and he's fantastic. And what were they called, that double act? Morecambe and Wise. No, they weren't on it. They couldn't do it. Mike and Bernie Winters. Wasn't them.

Kim Noble and Silver. Noble and Silver. Noble and Silver. Yeah, Noble and Silver were in it as well. They were good. It was meant to be Catherine Tate. We replaced Catherine Tate. Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.

And John Reid, I want to say. Do you? I can't remember his name. I want to say, yeah, I want to say. You just want to say that. Just say it anyway. John Reid, the former manager of Elton John. Not him,

but that brings us nicely on to Rock Profile. Very good. Yeah. Profile. Well, I'll tell you what though, the reason I...

What do you mean Rock Profile? You're talking about the collection. You're talking about the hands, aren't you? Talking about the canon. But the reason I loved it, genuinely, is because of Gary Barlow.

Oh, okay. Because where Gary was at at that point in his career... Is where I am at now. No, not at all, not at all. But it was that thing that Robbie had gone. Yeah.

The thing is, I've got a history with Gary Barlow. Because I went out with his girlfriend. He was with a girlfriend and then they broke up and take that when they had to spill with the girlfriends. And I went out with her for like 18 months. So Barlow was kind of a thorn in my side. So I always had a thing with Barlow

where I didn't like Gary Barlow because she'd bang on about Gary Barlow. Yeah. And then it's a weird thing when you're going out with a girl and then her boyfriend is suddenly everywhere, her ex-boyfriend's everywhere, and you're contending with that. You had a feud with Gary Barlow without him knowing about it. Absolutely, absolutely.

So I loved... And what was her attitude towards him? I think she was mental. But she was just sort of like... Well, as we've not told you this podcast is a platform for him to have a go at his exes a lot of this is for me

for my 18 year old self just to vent and say oh I was on UK Play that sort of thing just showing off and venting yeah what have you ever done but I sort of you being Gary

I loved it it was a very mean spirspirited portrayal. I do have some regrets. Do you really? Yes, I regret. We did a sketch on, before we did the UK play, we did a sketch on Paramount. We did a series called Mashal Pease.

Yeah, yeah. And I did a portrayal of Victoria Wood that was completely unmotivated. And I was a massive fan. And yeah, I gave a very critical performance for Cheap Laughs and I genuinely regret that and I was kind of embarrassed about it and also we had a knock at Paul Merton

once in Little Britain which I thought was I sort of regret it now I wouldn't do it from the position we're in now also I know it really really upset him and that's definitely bad it wasn't it was a bit's definitely bad it wasn't it wasn't it was a bit bitchy but it wasn't it wasn't actually nasty yeah but he was embarrassed by it and i

think that's that's not on but with gary barlow um you know we'd all had to take that force down our throats so much it was a very merciless performance it really was and i think the thing was that we created a character that felt quite rounded yeah compared to some of the other performances in rock profile with gary barlow that i would forget that it was supposed to be gary barlow and it just felt to me like a real character and i think me and david both of us you know that the character sort of him and Howard you know they sort of took on a life of their own yeah absolutely

and so I think there were times when we did things that weren't really anything to do with Gary Barlow but we just enjoyed having this sort of

template to hang all these sort of well that's the wrong euphemism isn't it a template to hang things on but you know what I mean that Arlott

won't get that they'll think you're being that clever they won't get it yeah um templates templates templates yeah uh it was but there was some i like i don't really think about the past so much but if i suppose if i thought about what profile then then those uh gary and howard bits were probably amongst the better stuff that we did yeah i thought they were wonderful but I also had that other agenda I watched them end recently and I think

even now Gary's sort of had a resurgence well I mean the irony is of course you could do, if you did Rock Profile today, you would do the gag of me playing Robbie Williams as exactly as I played Gary Barlow, exactly then you would do that gag.

And then, and, uh, David would still probably be Howard still suffering. He nailed him in some way. Yeah, no, it was brilliant.

It was absolutely brilliant. I mean that the weird thing was, I remember meeting Howard Donald around that time. Cause he was a DJ. Yeah. Heaven nightclub. Yeah. I'm gay.

And, um, Howard is gay. No, I'm gay. I'm saying, Hey,, I'm gay. And... Howard is gay. No, I'm gay. I'm saying. He's not gay. Howard Donald is not gay. I'm gay.

But he was... You're gay? I'm homosexual. Yeah, why do you think I have you in my flat? We're in your bedroom. Yeah, that's right. You're lying on the floor. Yeah, face down.

So that's... Yeah, but don't worry. That could be lucky or unlucky either way I'm not a top so don't worry about it no you're not but but

and I met Howard Donald came up to me because he was DJing there and I met him outside and he said oh hello I love

I love rock profile yeah like I love rock profile Howard Donald you weren't sure whether it was an S or not well the thing is I

and I thought who's this guy doing a bad impression of Howard Donald because not well the thing is and I thought who's this guy doing a bad impression of Howard Donald because he was doing the voice and I thought who's this guy doing a shitty voice

and it took me a minute to actually remember that there was a real Howard Donald and then it wasn't David because to me the characters were so sort of real

yeah she's very pretentious of me to say that but it was weird though because and again meeting Elton John meeting George Michael we met people who we had played yeah yeah of course and we didn't play anyone in a very flattering light yeah but i don't think i think gary aside maybe i don't think any of it

was ruthless and i don't i don't well from my interpretation anyway it's pretty surreal really yeah i don't even think gary was ruthless i think that was just a yeah i don't know i don't know it was just a starting point, wasn't it? It was a kind of device for kind of doing sketch characters. Yeah.

And like a sort of, you know, a clothes peg to sort of hang it on. Yeah. There, there. Down the euphemism. Deal with it.

But there were so many things in Rock Profile that I, like little throwaway lines that I loved in it and things that, like when you, oh, it's chips,

it's chips, that thing in there which is brilliant, do you get that? I don't remember that line, no It was an advert Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey were doing a medley of something or other and then maybe Bond medley or something and then it cuts to we hope it's chips, it's chips

which was a line from I think a McCain advert from about 1984 It's an amazing cultural reference yeah and i think well i think there was a monoculture then that we don't really have now because everything is split so much everything is so fractured and so so that we'll all be listening to different music yeah and haven't heard of each other's bands and i, there's just no way you can now carry the weight of everyone's contribution anymore to the creative world. It just doesn't work. But then there were three or four TV channels.

There was, you know, you had your local radio, a commercial radio channel, and you listened to Radio 1 or whatever. And so then we all watched the same adverts. I mean, nowadays someone says, oh, I haven't seen it. Or if they're watching it, they're watching it on Netflix or someone else is watching it on iPlayflix or someone else is watching the high player yeah someone else is watching it illegally and someone no one's watching it live on telly or three people are i don't know it's just it's weird but but rock profile is on a is at a time when yeah there was more of a

monoculture but also i think i think you benefit a little bit on rock profile from the fact that even just watching rock profileile on UK Play, you felt like a part of a club because not everyone could even get that channel. Yeah, yeah, that's the point. And it did, you know, it did in its, in fairness, it did create shows and commission comedians who didn't get the opportunities to be on terrestrial TV at the time. You know, me and David could not get a meeting with Jane Root for Love Nor Money.

We just could not get in at BBC Two. We just couldn't. There was no interest. The doors were not open. We couldn't get a meeting, nothing. And, you know, we did two radio series of Little Britain. We just couldn't. We just couldn't.

And it was Rock Profile, really, that really helped us. And then Graham Linehan, you know, hearing Little Britain and saying, OK, I'll make a TV pilot of it. And little britain and saying okay i'll make a tv pilot of it and if graham hadn't said i'll make the tv pilot i don't think it would ever have happened well okay well actually having said that stewart murphy wanted to do it but at the time there was this new channel and we thought not everyone can get bbc3 and we were scared of of doing our sketches because we just thought no one will ever see it so stewart murphy was the controller of bbc choice then as it was called. Choice that became BBC 3

but we were just scared that if we did a show just for BBC 3 this channel that hadn't started. And also it got delayed and it was supposed to be on and then it wasn't. It was on the launch night of BBC 3. It was on the launch night of BBC 3 but that was also on BBC 2

at the same time live. So we did go on, our pilot went on BBC 2. But same time live so we did go on our pilot went on BBC 2 but I think it also helped Little Britain that it was something you felt like

you discovered because there's nothing worse than being told by everybody you've got to watch this somebody's already laughed and you feel like you're getting it second hand and you just resent it

I do I don't want to be told anyone's good if I don't find it out for myself I just basically hate people nice

I'm a bit like that and that was the first part of our interview with Matt Lucas nice chap it was nice yeah it was very nice and I think it said

nice chat nice chap a nice chap with a nice chap yeah because I thought in a way I was rude because you said

nice chap and I went it was yeah like he chap Yeah Because I thought In a way I was rude Because you said nice chap And I went it was Yeah Like he was a nit Like he was a nit Like a little animal Yeah he's not No he's a bloke

Just a bloke Met him Yep Are we going to throw forward To any of the interviews We've got coming up later on Well what have we got coming up Because we've got quite a few

We've got Boy With A Tape And His Face coming up shortly Yeah That'll be shortly James Acaster shortly Ardlow Hanlon shortly Yeah Some of these people

Are people we've got booked in Shall we these people are people we've got booked in. Should we just read off who we've got booked in already? At this stage. Do we want to give it all away now? Yeah. Yeah, right. May as well, mate. Yeah.

Get it all up and running. Romesh Ranganathan, that's one. Kerry Marks, he's good. Yeah. You can't say Romesh Ranganathan, that's one. Arthur Smith's coming on. Yeah. Craig Campbell, he's nice.

Really selling all of this. Gary Delaney. Really selling all of this, aren't you? Alex Horny, is that Delaney he's going to be on it Alex Horny is that how you say it Alex Horne mum up what's that mum up

oh that's my mum's coming up on the 12th mum back that's another one he's on 15 15 she's going out hang on I just want to say now

now you've mentioned that I think we've all been waiting a long time for an interview with your mum do you want to interview an interview with your mum. Do you want an interview with my mum? If your mum wants to come in and even give just a five minute interview that we can drop into another episode. We can't, we'd have to do an hour.

I'm more than happy to have a full episode. We'll do a full episode with your mum then. Do you want to do that? Yeah, definitely. Right, here's what we have to do though. We don't tell her that's what we're doing. So we get her in here and just record it. Will she not notice the microphone? No, she might not notice your ear.

She wouldn't, mate. She'd be asking me about my diabetes. To be honest with you, the first 20 minutes it'll be, oh, they've jiggered me, them stairs. Oh, I'm shattered. Jiggered from them stairs, mate. Loads of guests coming up anyway, but yeah, that's exclusive. My mum will be on it.

My mum will hear these though now, that's the problem. She listens to them. Mum, you're going to be on the podcast. It's part of the deal of you being allowed to come up here. Yeah. Yeah, loads of exclusive. My mum will be on it. My mum will air these though now. That's the problem. She listens to them. Mum, you're going to be on the podcast. It's part of the deal of you being allowed to come up here. Yeah. Yeah, loads of people coming up. So it's going to be all right, laugh.

I'm probably going to be doing some characters and stuff. No, because that didn't work yesterday for me. I've got a few characters I've written down. I've got a little book of characters and maybe, let's say, once every three podcasts I'll be dropping in a new character

that I will have been working on throughout the Fringe because as well as didn't work for me as well as our show that we're doing I'll be working up some new characters

didn't work for me didn't work for me at all I'll let him do it but I'll cut it out of the podcast don't worry listener and also by the way we should also mention

Tony Marksman the egg farmer he's in every three every three yeah but that's just a throw forward to what we might you can't throw forward

Tony Marksman the egg farmer right well he's definitely not been on it. Why not? Because my mum's taken the last space. Your mum and Tony the Marksman, The Egg Farmer are in conversation. Okay, I want to go home now.

Okay, night. That's all from today. I've been Ray Peacock. And I've been Ed Gamble. This has been a Ready production hosted by Chalk.co.uk. Today's guest was Matt Lucas and he will be back again

in another day. In another day. With the rest of that interview. It's very, very good. Thomas from the raid on the music. We'll see you tomorrow. So where are you playing in Edinburgh?

We are at the Pleasance Below at 9.45. Very nice. Yeah. And so are we allowed to say that this is May when this is being recorded? Yeah, yeah. at 9.45 very nice yeah and so we are we allowed to say that this is May when this is being recorded

yeah yeah just that doesn't ruin any illusion no not at all and so here we are in late May how much of the show has been

created so far I'll show it to you I'll show it to you there it is oh that looks nice just there mate there it is give me a minute to read it

there's bits but can we explain what happened there? It was a blank page. Two blank pages actually. Don't discredit yourself. You'll bring yourself down. We're farther ahead than we thought. Come on, give yourself some credit.

No, you're right, you're right.