The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Episode 3 (Sam Wells)

Episode Date: April 4, 2021

"Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Episode 3 (Sam Wells)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 115 of 128.

Pico and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Here it is. Here it is again. You're all downloaded, aren't you? All downloaded right into your minds. Have a little think on it. Have a little think on it as you're listening to it. Have a little think on it.

Just been killing moths. I am Ray Peacock. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. Been listening to Ray Peacock kill moths. I've been been listening to it and thinking about things. Having a think on it. Just been killing moths. I am Ray Peacock. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. Been listening to Ray Peacock kill moths. I've been killing moths. And I don't want all the vegetarians getting on my case. Oh, it's a living thing. Oh, please, you shouldn't.

You should set them free, right? If I could catch the fucking things, I would set them free. But if they're just going to drive around my bedroom. Drive? In the air, right? Drive in the air? And keep slamming into my face. There's a word for that. What? Drive in the air. And keep slamming into my face. There's a word for that.

What? Driving in the air. Is there? Yeah. What does a pilot do? Ooh, that's a tough one, isn't it? What does a pilot do? I mean, I don't want to render the pilot profession redundant, but I think we can all ask that

question. What does a pilot do these days? Just one of the many topics we'll be discussing on today's podcast. Oh, computers, isn't it, these days? Yeah. What does a pilot do? He's simply the figurehead. Sweet FA, ladies and gentlemen. Figurehead of the airline. FA for BA, that's what they do. Yeah, lovely stuff. Anyway, we've got a lovely podcast today. Oh, this is a nice interview. It's a great one, yeah.

It's the boy with tape on his face. Yeah, aka Sam Wills. Sam Willis, as you will find out shortly. Yeah, it's amazing. If you don't know the boy with tape on his face, he basically is a boy and he puts tape on his face. But he's sort of not a boy anymore, is he? He's not. He's an old man, isn't he? He's sort of a man. And this is a question I didn't get round to asking. He's an old man.

At what point, when people can see how old his eyes are, is he going to have to just call him... Well, like, in 20 years, if he's still doing it. Yeah, and they can see he's haggard. Yeah, he's got, like... You can tell by their hands, can't you? I mean, at the years if he's still doing it yeah and they can see he's haggard yeah he's got like you can tell by their hands can't you I mean at the moment

he's got lovely hands yeah but as he gets older 20 years time so he can still be the boy with tape on his face I don't know mate

I don't know difficult to see into the future isn't it very tricky I always enjoy watching him and he's it's all mime it's all yours is it

yeah all mime fans no he does all mime yeah doesn't he and it's he has two he's got tape on his face got tape all over his face hasn't he it's a means is it yeah all mime fans no he does all mime yeah doesn't he and it's he has too it's got tape on his face it's got tape on his face

hasn't it it's a means to an end painted himself into a corner there he has very much he's made a rod for his own Jen and Freddie

yeah but that's an issue coming up but we should discuss how our fringe is going because of course we opened at the Edinburgh Fringe

last night yes in our brilliant new show Heartthrobs 9.45pm at the Pleasance Below brilliant mate thank you well done you learnt it all up yeah and that opened last night to rave reviews yeah In our brilliant new show, Heartthrobs, 9.45pm at the Pleasance Below. Brilliant, mate. Yeah, thank you.

Well done, yeah. We've learnt it all up. Yeah. And that opened us tonight to rave reviews. Yeah. We've not done it yet, of course. Big success. We've not done it yet, of course, because we're recording this the night before.

I think a lot of people are saying now there is a genuine buzz around this show because you can see that the hours have gone into it. You can see that we are consummate professionals. Yeah. You can see that, sure, we professionals. Yeah. You can see that, sure, we're having fun, but we definitely know what we're doing.

So we open tomorrow in this time. So it's actually, we're recording this now. But by the time this comes out, all those things will be true. By then they will be true. You do realise

you've just destroyed our whole fringe run by saying that. Why? Because you've tempted the goddess of fate and she is hitching up her dress

and she is taking a long hot piss all over our dreams. Ooh, that's horrible. I didn't know she did that. Why? Because you've tempted the goddess of fate and she is hitching up her dress and she is taking a long hot piss all over our dreams. Ooh, that's horrible. I didn't know she did that. Does she? She's horrible, mate. She doesn't sound nice at all. She's always desperate for a piss. You shouldn't have anything to do with her then. She's always bursting and do not prod her lower

stomach. Do not prod Lady Fate's lower stomach because she's always bursting. Unless maybe she's into that. Well no she is. Some girls like that feeling. No she loves it. She loves it but she loves pissing on your dreams. I've met girls like that before. Right. Some girls right they like this. Some girls like it. The feeling of wanting

away. Yeah. Weird. Yeah but no Lady Fate she likes the feeling and then she loves going. She likes doing it. She loves going. Oh that's a different sort of girl. Slashing all over your dreams. Different sort of girl. And she likes doing it on things. Yeah, exactly. Horrible. Horrible.

I'm sure some people would like that. Not me. I wouldn't like it in my mouth and all over my front. You know how sometimes boys do a wee in their own mouth? No, I don't know about that. I've met someone before who did a wee in his own mouth. Who was this? I'm not telling you who it was.

Oh, Little Billy Pissmouth. Little Billy... Oh, God. You should have changed his name. And you, you're on about. Yeah. Who likes doing that? No, I've seen, like, people can do, like, wee in their own mouth and stuff.

No, wait. At parties and stuff. What on earth are you talking about? Can ladies do it, do you think? Can a lady piss in her own mouth? Right in. Is this how we want to start this podcast? I don't know if they can.

I guess if they do that position where you do, like, cycling. Yeah. For your exercise. You see a lady bat, put your hips in the air. Yeah. And do that position where you do like cycling yeah for your exercises you lay your back put your hips in the air yeah and do that cycling I guess if they have a steady enough flow

yeah a strong enough flow strong enough stream that they can essentially have a fountain effect where they can yeah wee it all up in the air

yeah open your mouth and sure they'll be spillage but get a good good load of it in your mouth how circular do you think you could pass it through and keep going

I think you are in a sense making life hard for yourself if that's what you're into yeah i think you know maybe um just have a cuddle maybe just have straight normal sex right but i don't know why i don't understand all these kinks i don't get it you don't get it don't get it mate no why would you want to do anything more than pop a lovely penis into a vagina why why would you want to do anything more than pop a lovely penis into a vagina? Why would you want to do anything more than that? What's wrong? Look, I'll tell you, mate. I'm on the same page as you.

Yeah, yeah. What is wrong with turning all the lights off, popping your John Thomas through the little slit in your pyjamas, finding Marjorie's tuppence, and pushing your little pig's dick... What's wrong with that? Right inside a vagina. Exactly. What's wrong? What's wrong with that? Right inside a vagina. Exactly.

What's wrong? What's wrong with all these people these days? With, oh, I like oral sex. Oh. What? I beg your pardon? What? I like oral sex.

I beg your pardon, what was that? Oh, wait, I couldn't hear it because you've got a penis in your mouth. Oh, I'll put that thing that you wee out of in my mouth. Yeah. Oh, I don't mind going down there and licking that thing that you wee out of near enough. Oh, lovely, thank you. Oh, I'd like some anal sex, please. Hands up, hands up if you'd like some anal sex.

Oh, goodness me. No, I'd like to cut out the middleman and stick my dick in a bucket of poo. Horrible. What is wrong with these people? Absolutely disgusting. All these crazy fads. Anyway, and while we're on the topic of fads, what is it with

disco music? It's metal, isn't it? Disco sucks. I don't even mind it. I don't mind it. All that. But we're having a bit of a joke. And I would imagine, Ed, you don't mind having your penis, having a lady have a suck of it? Who doesn't, mate? And in

feudal Russia Russia mothers used to silence their babies by popping a penis you've told me this before it's upsetting that isn't it yeah it's one of my facts

yeah I know it is isn't it yeah one of my facts at the moment is that the band Baby Cakes met on the day they recorded Baby Cakes

yeah they weren't the band wasn't called Baby Cakes three of a kind three of a kind it's upsetting how close that information

was to the throat of your brain. Baby cakes you just don't know how I I would like it down low

low and I just want you to know that I think our love will grow gonna take it

step by step because you're not something you're not here listener but Ray mind the reactions there as well. Baby cakes

I remember that song very very sexy video. Very sexy. All the dolly birds with cakes all over the busters. Yeah. And they met on the day I remember that song. Very, very sexy video. Very sexy. All the dolly birds with cakes all over the busters. Yeah. And they met, here's a fun fact, they met on the day they recorded that song. Incredible.

And they sound like they've known each other for years. I know, but they only met that day. And then they did, had their hit Baby Cakes. I don't know if they recorded any follow-ups. I don't think they did, actually. But they, you think, oh, well, they're all scrappy now, aren't they? Oh, one hit wonders. I bet it was fun while it lasted, but now I bet you're all sad. No, they're not sad, because they now run a party agency

organising parties called Baby Cakes Parties. It's called Baby Cakes. Google it if you don't believe me. That's true. Get on Google. Anyway, here's the boy with tape on his face

who just don't know, know how I, I get tape on your face and take it off. Here he is. Have a chat with us. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble.

Here we are. Look, this is a good interview. Yeah, it is, isn't't it it's going to be today yeah what are we calling you today Sam yeah that'll be fine is that alright

I answered anything really Sam anything oh no not anything no we should check that we should check it as we go along yeah surprise me

what do you say her name Wills Sam Wills although everyone goes Willis Sam Wills because I knew it was Wills but I had to really double check that it was Wills

because you just you see you see it and you read it straight away you don't even take it all in yeah Willis. Sam Willis. Because I knew it was Willis, but I had to really double check that it was Willis. Because you just, you see it and you read it straight away. You don't even take it all in. Yeah, Willis. You pop in an eye. We could just call him that. Yeah. Because he'll answer to anything, this one.

Yeah. So we're here with Sam Willis. We're here with Doug Willis. Doug. Yeah. Oh, Doug's good. We're here with Katie Willis. See, I'm going to get too many options of names, I think.

I'm just going to be confused. Brad Willis. I've been naming Neighbours characters for the last ten minutes. Have you really? Really? No, it was from years ago. Alf. No, that was Open Away.

Open Away, that. Yeah, he was good. You're thinking of, what's his name? Harold. I was? Yeah. How did you know I was thinking of Harold? Because you went to Alf, who's the same character as Harold, essentially.

That's brilliant. Same stereo. So you don't just do all your stuff with a tape on your face. You do do like... I do observational home and away material. And Darren Brown shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you were thinking of then.

Four of clubs. Harold Fisher. Harold Fisher. This is incredible. So, Doug, are you famous? No. Are you sure? I hope not.

I don't think so. Do you feel famous? No, no one should feel... I... No. I still have to? No, no one should feel... I... No. I still have to clear the cat shit out of the cat tray. That doesn't mean you're not famous.

I don't think famous people do that. They do. No. How do you know? Jennifer Lopez. I met Jennifer Lopez once. What was your first question? Do you clear the cat litter?

No, my first question to Jennifer Lopez was, she was squeezing past me and I went, oh don't mind me, it's just my fucking fat arse and then I fell to I didn't know it was her and I went oh my god Tom Hanks I've met and all we're not doing this I haven't met Tom Hanks

we're not inviting Sam over and then you just name dropping I haven't met Tom Hanks and do we think Tom Hanks clears cat shit out of his tray there is no way he cleans out the cat tray

if he's got a cat I bet he cleans up the cat tray I bet you he does yeah but he's quite down to earth he probably is no way he cleans up the cat tray. If he's got a cat, I bet he cleans up the cat tray. I bet you he does. Yeah, but he's quite down to earth. He probably is so rich he has a new cat every week. Yeah. This is why I should have

got his number. Tom Hanks's. So we could text and find out. Text now. Yeah. That's probably the best thing he would want right now is a text from you.

Right, rather than doing it. Currently having an interview with a mime, finding out if he's famous or not. And we're trying to clear up a cat issue. I think that's what he not and we're trying to clear up a cat issue I think that's what he was trying to say

we should just abandon this interview and just see if between the three of us we can get Tom Hanks' phone number yeah in the next in the next hour

we'll all hit all our contacts on our phones and see if we can get Tom Hanks' phone number surely Google 20 minutes on Google

you should be able to find his number do you care on speaking to we're speaking to Tommy? We're genuinely here. Tommy. Mr Hanks, I think, is one of us.

You'd filled big rooms in Edinburgh, though, so I think that was... Is that what your question was leading on to? No, you've done Royal Variety, haven't you? Yes. What have a telly you done? I did... In fact, you're only telecredit the Royal Variety Show.

I've done that. What else? Nothing. Have you been at Russell House Good News? No, I couldn't

get on that. It's like somebody going, yeah, I've done Everest, no Kilimanjaro. Can't do that

one. Can't crack off the seat. Oh no, no. Never done that. What room

are you in this? Back at the Pleasant Scrained again it's a big room it is a big space we've done that room

haven't we we did the horn section I believe Sam was on it's a fun show I believe Sam was on as well 310 394

straight away Tom Hanks' phone number that's amazing ring it straight off the bat what did you Google Tom Hanks' phone number right and what is that the phone number for I did you Google Tom Hanks phone number

right and what is that the phone number for I don't know Tom Hanks it's a picture of him just because it's a picture he lives

oh very swanky he lives at a P.O. box it's all that modest P.O. box inside that P.O. box is not a catchphrase guaranteed so I think

you are famous but do you get recognised well no because I have tape on my face everyone just remembers the tape

doing its tape thing and the character I don't walk around in character with tape also you have a lip ring I have a lip ring I used to wear glasses

and that was also quite good do you find that the lip ring because you don't wear that on stage yeah no because you've got all tape over it have you ever by accident put tape over the lip ring and I used to wear glasses and that was also quite good. Okay. Do you find that the lip ring, because you don't wear that on stage. Yeah, no. Because you've got all tape over it. Have you ever by accident put tape over the lip ring and then had to...

I do put that over if I'm doing like a short five minutes film because it doesn't bother me. It's just for an hour long show. If you rip it off, does it not? No, it doesn't hurt. I think you are famous and you know you're famous. I think what you're saying is you're going, oh yeah no, I'm not famous, but you've got that lip ring so that when people see you in the street they go that can't be him.

So you think I got a piercing, but I was getting harassed in the street too much. What should I do? I know, this will put him off. I think that's the bloke with the tape on his face. Oh, no, it can't be, because he's got metal in his mouth. Oh, that's shit in his face. And you've got a lovely pretty face.

Oh, that's shit in your face. I used to have my cheeks pierced. Oh, that's horrible. Really? Yeah. Why? I was trying to work on, this was way back in the old county performing days.

I wanted to do this trick where you drink up a glass of water and squirt like a fountain. Fine. No issue with that. If that's for your show, fine. Right? You've got old tattoos all over you.

You're all, like, grungy. Is that right or not? What is he? Is he a goth? I don't know what he is. You don't know what he is? What did I just say? You're our first guest. I am in I just say, you're our first guest.

I am in the room here! You're our first guest up here in Edinburgh. I've got the reputation of this will get out, don't you worry. Ray, can I just say, we can't invite people over and then you ignore them as if they're not here and call them the wrong name and then say, what is he? What is this you've brought? No, it wasn't said like that.

I don't know what sort of one he is. Is he a grunge or an emo? Is he an emo? I've just said just a bloke. I'm a shapeshifter, I'd like to think. I can change into whatever you want me to be. You are a bit of a shapeshifter, though. On the stage.

Thank you very much. How does it come about, Sam? How do you do it? So if we're doing Peacock and Gumball, right, we sit down and we go right come on what have we not done yet

surely you've got one big list but we do do you know what we do though we often in real life it happened at the airport yesterday when we just go

get that down write that down something we've done in real because yesterday I was reading my star signs in a queue in the airport but doing it as if

it was all about Ed so I was going oh listen signs in a queue in the airport. Yeah. But doing it as if it was all about Ed. So I was going, oh, listen to this. Someone is going to upset me. Right. And we thought that'd be a nice little sketch, a nice little bit for us. So that's why we write that. Stand-up, obviously, we'd sit down and we'd write, you know,

something to talk about or things from your life and that. But I don't know how you sit down and write, if indeed you do, what you do. I don't know how you contrive it or how you come up with it my process I tend to store away the ladies like I've got a

playlist of music on my computer of just songs and when I pick a song it's got to be a song that I want to listen to hundreds of times because there's nothing

worse than going god I hate this track of music and then I've got various props that I find and I've got a couple of bags of just things that I think are funny whether it be

a baseball bat a set of flippers a swing ball and that sort of thing. Flippers is funny. Flippers are inherently funny. Yeah, flippers are very funny. And then I will get locked away in a room for six weeks and I will go slightly crazy and...

With some flippers. With some flippers and some music and just play and stay in a room. I'll come out, eat some food, go back into a room and just play like a child and muck around until I find something funny. That's a brilliant job. Imagine getting that famous from that but a lot of your stuff is interaction with the audience

as well you bring people up and all that sort of thing so how would you go how would you rehearse that because the interaction with the audience is very simple

I don't want to give the audience too much pressure and I think that's the problem with audience participation because when you normally get someone out on stage you give them a huge role and then they fail

and then people laugh at that and then you get annoyed with it as well this is the way when we found because we don't really get people on stage anymore we'd get on role and then they fail and then people laugh at that. And then you get annoyed with it as well. This is the way when we found because we don't really get people on stage anymore we'd get on the tour shows

and stuff when we had a bit of audience interaction getting them up that we'd after it go well they were fucking rubbish. Yeah. As if they should have been good. Yeah.

They should have known. Why didn't they know? Yeah. That's why whenever I get people up on stage the job I give them is so simple. It's like stand on a chair

and hit the ping pong ball with a stick. Yeah. Take your trousers off. Yeah. Show me them. It's like stand on a chair and hit the ping pong ball with a stick. Take your trousers off. Yeah, do it. Show me them. It's fine. Come home with me.

It's amazing to get all that across through the eyes. Right. So much message I'm trying to convey. You do talk on stage, don't you? Yeah, on my old show. No, not on this show. I've seen you talk. Did you not?

The thing is, with Sam's act, he's got tape on his face, so it's quite difficult. What, he actually wears tape on his face? Yeah. No, that's like just the name of the show. It's an advertising gimmick.

Yeah, it's for the person. No, no, no, it's wrong. It's just a hook. No, you can't, Ed, you can't do a show all the way through with tape on your face, you idiot.

Can't be done. You can have it on your face somewhere, but you can't have it over your mouth. Oh, you, sorry, you think Sam does't be done. You can have it on your face somewhere, but you can't have it over your mouth. Oh, you, sorry, you think Sam doesn't act where he's got a bit of tape just on, like Nelly with a plaster.

Yeah. You should do it, mate, one year. Just come up there. Just a small, square bit of tape before the top lip. There won't be hookwood at all. You should, one year, come up, have your posters all the same

with the tape over your mouth, but when you just walk on, there's a bit of tape just hanging off your forehead and just go, got fucking hard work, didn't I? We'll call it the boy with the tape on his face has started drinking. Are you happy now? Do you think people would be shocked to find out you've got an accent? Yeah, I think some people are surprised I'm from New Zealand.

Some people generally think I'm French, just because I have stripy top and accordion. You look French. I understand it isn't mine. Why is that? Why do I look French? No, you do. On stage, you look French. You do.

It looks, it's a very, it seems it's very European. Yeah, it is, I suppose. It probably is the mime. Yeah, and the accordion music. All of that. All the, like... Onions I'm wearing.

Right, yeah. All the onions around your neck. Coming on that bicycle. Yeah, with a beret on. Juggling baguettes. Yeah. And not calling chips the right thing I'm like you do

all the time mate so so you just literally go and play yeah but that's interesting because that's what comes across on stage

as well so the process of formulating it is because it's also like you're at play with the audience yeah

because the goal is for me to remind the audience to remember being a child and playing so i want to get them off the stage and have some involvement but in saying that there is still a structure that i have to follow like i've noticed there is a formula to my shows of of a running theme throughout and then a visual something at the end and and for me that's the hard part to go you know what is going to be the visual finale that I want people to go away with and what was the film I'm sure that's the one, yes you're good

Harold Bishop Adaptation where they said you can make people watch anything give them a car chase at the end and that's what they remember so that's kind of one of the formulas I'm using of going here's the show, here's such a big finale thingy at the end, you're going to leave the venue going I'm overloaded, that was hilarious and you've forgotten a couple of the formulas I'm using of going, here's the show, here's such a big finale thingy at the end. You're going to leave the venue going, oh, I'm overloaded, that was hilarious.

And you've forgotten a couple of the smaller... Why was your show so huge last year? Because your show proper hit last year, didn't it? The first show was, for me, it was an introduction to showing the characters to people. And all the sketches were small, little, short sketches. And there was a basic running gag and a small visual thing. And that got good reviews and it was a successful running gag and a small visual thing and that got

good reviews and it was a successful show and then for me the second show when I went into the process of writing it when I got locked into the room

there was a lot of pressure to go it's the difficult second album and it's always annoying me writing the second bit you want to try writing the fucking

third one well that's my dread at the moment that's what I might do for October to freak out about but the second show I just went right

I'm going to make it even bigger than last time. So I purposely wrote sketches that were bigger stage props, bigger bits and pieces, and bigger routines. And balloons. And lots of balloons. Like, I just went, what is the biggest finale I can have? And it's like, I want to use the entire audience for one bit.

So it's like, cool, let's make that as big as possible. So then from that, I think it grew to being the successful thing that it is because everyone was coming to the show and liking it. And everyone got involved Yeah And the moment you get somebody involved on stage Then they naturally want to go out and tell five or ten people about the show or even if you don't want to they're still carrying a Fucking balloon. Yeah, they're walking away with the advertising on the show which is kind of fun. It was it was it was like it was everywhere

That shit was really you really felt it being here. I think we got annoying. I can totally understand that I thought it was like well how totally understand that I thought how many are in your audience every night how many is it at Pleasant Square what is it 700

7800 right it's selling out sold it all out 7800 every night yeah that is ridiculous

that is ridiculous when you've got the Olympics were on so it was a tough year what time were you on at last year 9.40. Right, clash with us.

Yeah. You've got 700 potential... I think, I mean, it's good to have you here, but I think you kind of owe us money. This is what it is. This is not a podcast. Do you know what I mean? Don't shame that.

Don't shame that. It's not on Mike. It's a serial. I see your tattoos, James, and I see your... I see your piercings and all that, Barry. So you're clearly an artistic gentleman. Yeah.

And you obviously believe that we're all artists together. Yeah, we're all in the same boat. Yeah. Very unfair, I think. Like the Titanic. Some people are up here. Some people are just going to drown. Yeah.

What you've done mate is you I'm in the lifeboat as a mum you as a mum have left me and Ed woman and child you've jumped in that lifeboat and you're not letting us

get on it we're a poor Irish family yeah no we're but jumps on you because we've had the most fun dancing during the trip

yeah but I'm the one who's going to have to watch the film when I'm alive at least you've got death to look forward to

yeah yeah where do you see it do you have ambition with it yeah with the character of the show or the whole thing

the whole thing yeah I always want to well there's different countries that's the benefit of my show I don't go to

any country at all so it's silent I would like to go into America. I'd like to do a Broadway season. I'd like to go to Japan and do shows over there. And then the show itself. It's interesting because I'm keen to take it into different mediums. Like TV stuff is interesting for me because you lose the audience connection.

So I'm trying to find a way to how do you connect with an audience watching TV and make them involved in the show. 3D. Yeah, I love 3D. I love 3D with a passion. Do you love 3D? I'm mental for it. Same. He does as well.

It's brilliant. I can pinpoint the moment why I love it. It's because in New Zealand, they screened King Kong. It was built up for like two months. And to get the 3D glasses. Which King Kong? The original. The original King Kong.

In 3D. It was on TV at 9 o'clock at night on Saturday. It was coming soon, coming soon. To get your glasses, you all had to go to KFC and get a quarter pack. Right. So families in New Zealand were all going to check in and get their special glasses.

And we got to stay up and watch King Kong. And only two moments worked in 3D. Wow. A little bit of smoke and one arrow shot out. And it was blowing my mind as a child. But do you get wound up with people who... Don't like it yeah

fuck them same I do that I do I have eyebrows people going and they go oh there's no

need for 3D there's no need for a fucking film in the first thing the whole thing is entertainment it's all about

drawing people in so all that does is does that more it just ramps up the magical world even more totally but people say

that thing again nothing shot out at me but that's not what 3D is now it's depth it's depth and play have you seen

Beauty and the Beast in 3D no I have not I wouldn't see that it's great get Beauty and the Beast in 3D it's stunning

the dance scene in the ballroom it's amazing really really good see I'm more of a fan of films that are made with 3D in mind rather than taking

an older film and then redoing it Disney conversions to 3D are very very good I'm more of a fan of films that are made with 3D in mind rather than taking an older film and then redoing it but Disney conversions to 3D are very very good I wouldn't really speak highly of Disney particularly myself but

this was a goodie they convert to 3D very well sometimes too well because Lion King they converted too well because it didn't take into account

that it's two dimensional images so when you had lions turning around their kind of nose was all distorted and it was all do you know what I mean

it was like it's too freedy just layer it just layer it I can understand that yeah that lion's got a fucked up nose that's the two things

we're doing and you know I don't want to I don't want to be saying that when there's kids around I don't want to be prompted to say

that's fucked up it's like you turned me off for laughing at Woody in Toy Story kept laughing at Woody I only got it in the third film it's like you told me off for laughing at Woody in Toy Story kept laughing at Woody

only got it in the third film it's not there to get only got that joke in the third one it's not a joke

to get I'd watch the first two and I was like this is brilliant Woody it's just a name and then I thought

I'm gone Woody it's not there to get mate brilliant what's Buzz that's it oh it doesn't even

what other 3D films have I seen we're not doing Despicable Me Hugo Hugo was very good Hugo's great I've watched recently

Paranorman oh I haven't got that yet oh it's brilliant I thought it was going to be rubbish yeah and Dread as well was also very good

Dread was aces really yeah I watched that at your house when you were still asleep I think no I wasn't still asleep I tried to go back to bed

yeah because I'd had a really late night and I put you in front of the telly literally like I was going over to my dad who'd separated from my mum and he'd gone alright come with your mum

once you come round early sit on the sofa I'm going back to bed brought a lot of things back for Ed and I went up to bed and I was cursed by my own surround sound it was loud

wasn't it it should be loud it should be but not they're campaigning for a sequel to Marriage as well I don't think

they're going to do it though are they if you get enough likes on Facebook anything could happen well aren't they aren't they I'm starting a group

I'm going to get a film made that's how I sold out my show last year. Free balloon with every ticket. Yeah, I just poked 700 people a day. So is that something you'd look into doing a... 3D? I don't know. What, take face of the interactive experience?

Yeah, certainly. Really good work. Let's write it now. If we write it now, we get royalties. If we write it right now. Yeah. All right, lock the doors you're going to go

batshit crazy for six weeks right here we go show starts right let's go down Bat Out of Elkhamton now you've got to listen to this track

over a hundred times the long intro from Bat Out of Elkhamton comes on so already there's people who've seen your shows in the past

and when that happens because they're not even expecting it, right? It's a good bit of music. Yeah, it's fantastic. You're going to be so pissed off when it comes out. It's not even a blackout. The audience is still in there, milling about, and then it's... And lights hit the audience. You're like, my God, this has started.

But that excitement falls away after about six minutes of the intro. Because they're like, it still hasn't been on yet. And they're waiting, and still hasn't been on yet. Yeah. And they're waiting and then the stage sort of lights and they're like, well, nothing has happened, nothing has happened on the stage, right? And then a man in the middle of the audience

just stands up. That is you. Uh-oh, it is you. Yeah. Right? And then... But no one recognises you because you've got all that shit in your face.

Yeah, you've got... Yeah, you haven't got the tape on yet, right? And it's happened yet. Two Dolly Birds walk on the stage, one on each side, they're holding a piss of tape, right? A little piece, yeah, right? And it's happening, yeah. Two Dolly Birds walk on the stage. One on each side, they're holding a piss of tape. They've got a little piece of tape, right? Like that.

With a sticky bit facing the audience, right? And then you get on a zip wire, right? My costume flies, eh? Yeah, you've got a cape on. You've got a cape. And you zip wire down onto the stage. Your face hits the tape bang

you've got the tape on it's sparkly tape yeah how is this 3D for the audience because surely it's going to be going away

from the deeps this is what we were talking about 3D is about depth now no shit flying at them we'll film some bits from the back give them a bit of training

mannequins on stage it's in the round oh okay anyway shut up and write this show right so you've got your tape on your face

that's happened you turn around audience go effing mental they love it there's party poppers going off all over the place they've brought them

with them have they yeah because that's a big experience party poppers they're bad enough yeah party popper each you've got to take

health and safety nightmare because this is a 20,000 seater you're still on the stage there's a spotlight on you for a bit you like you're going to take health and safety nightmare because this is a 20,000 seater you're still on the stage there's a spotlight on you for a bit

you like you're going to have to fill in a lot of this you mess around and like have a play with the audience for about

an hour and a half and then in the big outro yeah and then you get back on the zip wire and they're like surely not

but it actually goes the other way around back into the audience you have to leave with the audience

in the middle of it awkwardly it's really awkward because we've spent so much on the intro and have to leave with the audience in the middle awkwardly it's really awkward it's really awkward because we've spent so much on the intro and the outro

that all the middle bit is cardboard boxes and all that pretending you're in a glass box pulling off a bit of rope putting a fan on

just walking towards it I will sell you that idea for £40 let's find out in the next section whether whether this transaction will go ahead

let's don't want to keep you hanging listener but let's come back and see if David wants to say yes let's put my wallet on the table

when I franchise it's all yours is that no is that something is that something you have in mind that it's a franchise I don't no there's a joke gone wrong When I franchise, it's all yours. Is that something you have in mind, though, to franchise?

I don't... No. Wow, there's a joke gone wrong. No, no. But genuinely, is that like Puppetry the Penis did it? Yeah, I suppose it is. Just because there's an Antipodean gentleman doing it. It doesn't matter. No, no, no.

That's not what I mean at all. Well, Herring did it with Talking Cock. That franchise, didn't it? Yeah. Richard Herring's Talking Cock show. Who else did that show? It was all around the world. In different languages. So it's written as a play, essentially. Yeah. So it's not Herring's Talking Cock shows? Who else did that show? It was all around the world. In different languages.

So it's written as a play, essentially. Yeah. So it's not staying away from your skill, because obviously you're massively skilled as a performer, but there are other people who... Could do the show. Yeah, street performers or circus performers who could learn how to do it.

Well, there are various people around the world already kind of doing the show. I don't know if you've got... The copycat people are doing tape as tribute acts and that sort of thing. Really? Yeah, there was a guy... I have various fans of the show send me a link and say,

oh my God, have you seen this? Right. I watch a 20-minute video of a guy at a cafe bar in Benidorm doing a... With tape on his face? With tape on his face and made the props, taught some of the music. And it's like, you know, through the looking glass, this is a bit weird, a bit odd. Does it annoy you?

Initially, I find it really funny because I just go, this is a bit weird a bit odd does it annoy you? initially I find it really funny because I just go this is so bad yeah yeah they're doing it all wrong everything about it

is wrong and then you know I see it kind of the funny side and then I get a bit annoyed because I'm like no because I had one

people one bunch of people contacting me saying oh we saw you at the hotel yeah exactly and it's like okay we need to stop

yeah of course of course so do they do they do it as a tribute does it say a tribute one guy was saying he was a tribute act and he was doing

about 50 minutes of material 50 yeah like he's done quite a big show of my stuff I love a tribute I love a tribute

especially when the tribute's pretty bad and look at all this money I've took as a tribute I was on holiday on holiday in Tenerife a couple of years ago

and there was a Billy Connolly tribute act in a bar I thought that's got to be worth a punt isn't it I went to see him he did entirely

original material he did no Billy Connolly material but he did it dressed as Billy Connolly in Billy Connolly's voice but isn't that weird that you're like

we'll just do it again it's just weird I spoke to him afterwards I went why did you do that if you want to do comedy just do it again. Is it better or worse? Yeah. It's just weird. I spoke to him afterwards and I went, why would you do that? If you want to do comedy, just do it in your own name.

They'll still put you here. What if he went, oh no, it's my real voice. Being cursed with the voice of Billy Connolly. I'm saddled

with the appearance of Billy Connolly. It's bizarre though. I don't know how I'd feel about it. It is a weird one that, isn't it? Yeah. Because it's your

artistic property. But then if I was to choose feel about it. It is a weird one that, isn't it? Yeah. Because it's your artistic property. But then if I was to choose to franchise it, then I would be in complete control over who was doing it and how it would look and directing it. I suppose it could be done. People like Blue Man Group franchised as well. Yeah, yeah. The girl with tape on her face.

Could happen. The dog with tape on its face. Yeah. The parrot with tape on its face. The truck with tape on it. I mean, there's loads. You could have anyone who had Icky markets available.

Everyone could have different colour tape for where they're doing it. Now we're getting into a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers kind of thing. Flags, flags is brilliant. From the country of origin.

Where they are, yeah. A flag on the mouth. Yeah. Boy with a flag on his mouth. It's a bit People versus Larry Flint, isn't it? A little bit, but only your opinion.

Or Silence of the Lambs you could get one with. Yeah, all these things. Bane with tape on his face. Amazing. But only you're allowed to wear black tape. That's how you keep control of it. That's a good rule, hierarchy.

Have you thought of selling tape as a souvenir? No. You'd get tape made, couldn't you? But I will buy that idea off you for £10. I'm making a fortune here today you could just put it in a roll

but you buy as if people can't yeah like a deli counter how much do you want how much do you want mate we do it by weight that's a good point

two faces worth do any of your fans ever ask for your tape after the show no that's weird I point two faces worth do any of your fans ever ask for your tape after the show no that's weird I would I would

I thought about it's ridiculous we made some posters because it's fun Dave Young you know Dave I don't know if you know Dave Young

he does all the design and sort of advertising artwork and all the imaging of tape faces done by him so it's all

it's got a consistent thing to it and we joked for a while about making one really ridiculous poster to sell on the website for like £300. And it would be a poster, and it would have on it a piece of tape over the mouth of the picture that I would take off after the show. And you would film a video of me taking the sweaty tape off, putting it on the poster, and then there'd be a little QR code.

I think it's a great idea. And you could watch the video of that thing happening at that moment. I think it's a genuinely great idea. Why would you want that in your house? If you're a massive fan of someone, like if you're a fan of, I can't think of somebody, if you're a fan of Al Murray, right? If you're a massive fan...

So you watch the video of him come off stage, take off his underpants, staple them to a board. Maybe the pint he had that night that pint glass would be a nice thing to have as a souvenir yeah to go that was the one

he had on the video or that was the one he had on the I'm a big fan of memorabilia I like things like that and I think if you get obsessive fans like proper mental ones

you guys have obsessive proper mental fans no they're alright they're alright they're alright they're fine keep going keep coming up

every now and again like one will pop up every now and again but they tend to be transient They're alright. They're alright. They're fine. Keep going. Keep coming up. Every now and again one will pop up every now and again but they tend to be transient don't they? They tend to sort of they come into our Twitter lives

and then go out to our Twitter lives again but for a few days they might be like oh I'm going to kill you oh I'm going to kill you and all your family. That's always good.

Big fans. Keep you on your toes. Yeah yeah. I enjoy your show I'm going to pull your eyeballs out. And then a few days later it's like oh where fans keep you on your toes yeah yeah I enjoy your show I'm gonna pull your eyeballs out and a few days later it's like oh where'd that person go

he's gone now hasn't he do you not have any sort of quite quite obsessive female fans who might like the the idea of a man with double the size

talking yeah I suppose they must be out there I don't know shut up you're good looking lads as well I'm sure you get groupers in that alright 10 pounds

10 pounds 60 quid mate 60 quid I don't mean you do anything with them but surely that must be that must be a thing

surely you're a good looking lad you're a fit lad and that and you jump around on stage jump around is that one of the recordings

yes just because it's got energy yeah this bloke has seen me right you must have lasses waiting for your after shows no I don't. It's my wife.

You should manage to avoid them. I bet they are waiting. Avoid my wife. Find your wife and avoid the other ones. Is it because your missus is there?

Is that perhaps does she scare you? No. No I think it's because maybe the people are probably obsessive or fannish about the character.

Like you're saying that's what they want. They would want to walk around with the boy with a table's face. But you're inside him. You put the character like you're saying that's what they want they would want to walk around with the boy with a table face but you're inside him you put that on you're inside that boy I am inside

every night you put tape over a boy's face and get inside him you do that every night don't tell lies Peter you gag a boy

gag a boy parade him around parade him around and then popade him around Parade him around And then pop yourself Inside of him You invite other grown ups Onto the space To interfere with him

It's horrible what you do Pickle can gamble Pickle can gamble Is this year Some more dates Of last year's show Or is it A brand new show

No it is the exact same show As last year It is a return season then we've given all spoilers away everyone should know about it by now that's the thing

look at how arrogant it's like how arrogant do you know what there wasn't a hint of irony on his thing everyone should know

about it there wasn't there wasn't so much as a hint of irony it was like everyone should know go on what have you done

mate not telling me it's going to be all different people there's so many people in it It was like, everyone should know. Who have you been, mate? Not telling me it's going to be all different people. 700 people in a night. On the same time as Yukon's. I think most people have sort of heard that there's balloons involved. There's enough balloons and whatnot. Or seen the balloons.

How much did it cost you in balloons a night? No idea. They're still clear enough. The seagull bodies from last year of all the bodies that choked on the balloons. How many seagulls do you reckon died last year? That's a good point though, isn't it? The people of Leith

would be quite happy with that. They've got a seagull problem. Is it a major problem? Yeah. Well, they're contacting... I know that there's a group that started on Facebook

where they're threatening the council that they're going to feed seagulls like bread soaked in biocarbonisoba to blow the birds up. Does that work? I've never... I don't think it does.

That's one of the things you hear as a kid, isn't it? But I never wanted to try it. No. Sounds pretty horrific. You've got to feed them popping candy and then make them drink it. Barokas. And then make them drink... That will blow...

That's it. You've got to put... You've got to give a... A baroka. Give a frog a manto, isn't it? And then a sip of Diet Coke. Yeah, that's it, it goes off,

yeah. You've got to shake it up as well. Yeah, you've got to shake the frog up. You've got to, yeah. To get the seagull to baroque, you've got to get him real drunk first.

Yeah, yeah. Come over the next day, boom, there you go. And then baroque. This will sort you out now. Boom!

That was worth every Jager bomb. But you've avoided the question, how much wildlife do you think you've slaughtered? Pickle can gamble, pickle can gamble. You're doing the whole run? Yes. Is it knackering? Yes and no.

I think it was more knackering last year because I was trying to do lots of extra shows to promote it, lots of spots. Do you drink? A little amount. Smoke? No. Jack up? Have a jack up?

No. A line at the weekend? No. No. I don't know. Jack up. Have a jack up. Nope. A line at the weekend? No. No. I'm a man. Just kidding. I see that question.

So you're a relatively fit man? Yep. Yeah. I don't think so. You know, I've always... It must keep you fit though, doing it. Yeah, bashing around on stage does. No, you say that, but I bash around on stage quite a lot as well.

Yeah. Are you not doing many extra gigs? No, I'm only doing my show and a spot in my wife's variety show. Which is that? Let's talk about that as well. It's called

Another Fucking Variety Show. Oh, come on. Is there any need for that? Well, it's exactly what Edinburgh needs. It's another fucking variety show. There's so many variety shows.

Does that need the F word? Yes, it's a shock. Where's your wife? Is she in now? Oh, she's in my pocket. How do you work? We've proper run out of time,

so quickfire questions. We need to get all the things that people want to know. Right. Did you street perform? Yeah. Yeah. Covered.

What's Queen like? Didn't meet her. Right. Who was that? Who was it? Princess Anne. How was that? Well, I made the choice

to meet her with a tape on because I thought, they said, do I want to meet her and talk and say hello? And it's like, well, I'm going to meet her for 15 seconds. And then you don't need to worry about what you're going to say.

No. And I recorded it as well. I put a recorder in my pocket and recorded the conversation and then put it on my website because I thought it was funny. What did she say? She went, oh, the boy with the tape on his face. Still with tape on his face. And it was kind of awkward.

And then it was like, well, I'll be going. And I got a good photo out of it. Are you allowed to record that? The government? I don't think so. No. Probably not. And I got a good photo out of it. Are you allowed to record that? The government not? I don't think so. No. Probably not. But I thought, I'm only doing it once.

Are you doing it at all? No. Are you on the West End? You've just been on the West End, haven't you? Just been on the West End. But I am doing a one-off special show on December 16th called Cornucopia. Where at? The Palace.

Does it hurt when you have your mouth tattooed? What is it? No piercing? No. Doesn't it hurt at all? I didn't think so. It's fine. Have you got any tattoos on your wrist? Yep. Does that hurt when you have your mouth tattooed? What is it? A piercing? No. Doesn't hurt at all? I didn't think so. It's fine. Have you got any tattoos on your wrist?

Yep. Does that hurt? Yeah, they were a wee bit tender. Oh shit, that's why I want mine. So whoever's thinnest skin is, is the worst. Yeah, right on the bone there was pretty sore. That's why I want it. I want mine there. But these were also done by a very bad tattooist in Ireland.

Where they've got no health regulations. He tattooed me in his house as his snake was on the floor and he smoked a cigarette and we fed his iguanas. That sounds so authentic. It was amazing. It was amazing experience. And my friend was thinking of getting tattooed and I was getting tattooed, texting my friend going, do not let this man touch you.

I mean, you know, you could have said stop it. I'd argue that's your fault. No, but I wanted these tattoos to look slightly bad anyway. Right. Yeah, that was a purpose choice. Can we do a bad... Can you tattoo me now? Is there anyone else you want a bad tattoo?

No, I'm good for tattoos at the moment. How many tattoos have you got on your body? No idea. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. That's a big one. 15 or so. Whoa. Off your head, mate.

I want one there is that painful don't add to it is that painful no it's fine I've got 15 16 tattoos yeah sorry

that's the insane I'm not going to tell you it hurts yeah is that what if I had one here so if I just pull my eyelid down

I do know a guy who did tattoo his eye really well they do that blue ink in the eye and then there's another street performer a guy called Lucky Rich

who's the most tattooed man in the world he's 100% tattooed 100% he's now going for the record of 200 because he's going over his black tattoos

with white tattoos right well let's see how lucky he is when he goes for a job see if he's Lucky Rich then when he gets the interview go and work in a bunk yeah let's see how

lucky and rich he is there we go what an enjoyable morning that was lovely lad it was wasn't it anyway we've got to go now because it'sble there we go what an enjoyable morning that was lovely lad it was wasn't it anyway we've got to go now because it's late

it's all messed up this because that was in the morning what he just heard the bit at the beginning was night now is night late at night in fact do you know what

I think it's tomorrow yeah it's definitely tomorrow quarter to one in the morning mate it's tomorrow night we open today we open our show today oh god and that's a fact for now anyway

because whatever day you listen to this we will have opened it's already open it's already on come and see it if you want actually even if you

don't want just come and see it just come and see it this isn't on Beacon Gamble Heartthrobs 945 Pleasance Courtyard this isn't on

it's not on at the time of going to press at the time of recording this we're number 3 in the podcast chart disgraceful not the comedy podcast chart

the podcast chart disgraceful We're beating NHS Run or something. We are beating NHS Capture to 5K. That's it. We're beating that. We're beating Desert Island Discs. Yeah. Easy. Yeah. We're beating all those things, but none of you are coming to our show. No. Not one of you.

There wasn't one person there last night, I bet. Mate, you can't... Mate. Not one person. So far, you've jinxed it in two opposite directions. What? I can't win, can I not? Just don't say anything, because we've not done one yet. Fine. Our show's cancelled. I'm not saying anything. No, don't, mate. Not one person. So far you've jinxed it in two opposite directions. What? I can't win, can I not? Just don't say anything because we've not done one yet. Fine, our show's cancelled. I'm not saying anything. No, don't say that.

Fine, we're not doing our show anymore. Just say we've not done one. Can't talk about it. Right. Can't promote the show either. Not allowed to talk about it apparently. You can't promote the show because you can't remember where it's on. Yeah, I can.

Where is it? Edinburgh Fringe. Right. Come to Peacock and Gamble at the Edinburgh Fringe. Perfect. 9.45, Pleasant's Courtyard. That's where I've got to go. Yeah. Here's where I've got to go. Yeah.

It's Josh for the credits. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh Podcast is a ready production hosted by Chortle.co.uk. Today's guest was Tom, Steve, George, Michael, Aaron, Jim. George Michael? George Michael. Imagine if it was George Michael. Wow.

He would have met Tom Hanks. The guest was Sam Wills, a have met Tom Hanks the guest was Sam Wills aka the boy with the tape on his face and my show is the boy with the tape on his face

all music by Thomas Fun the Ray what what have you done Fun the Ray that's a good name but now I've

stolen and gone Thomas Fun the Ray you ruined it it makes him sound like a fish but don't worry not many people

have done that right he's in the sequel of Finding Nemo See you tomorrow Do it in Morse code Right there you go If you can read my writing Do you know Morse code?

No I used to tweet in Morse code I thought it was funny I hate that he's further in his career than us I hate that