The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Episode 10

Episode Date: March 31, 2019

"Episode 10" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 10 of 128.

Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. What's that voice that you're doing? I'm announcing us on stage. Oh, on stage? Yeah. Where? Internet.

Oh, I'm on the internet stage. I didn't see you on there. You're not, yeah? I've not announced you. Oh yeah, sorry about that. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. No, no, see the problem stage. I didn't see you on there. You're not, yeah? I've not announced it. Oh, yeah, sorry about that. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. No, no, see, the problem with saying welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast, though, is that that girl has already said

welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Right, all right. So if you say welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast, then it's just repeating it over and over again, isn't it? You can't just keep saying welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Please welcome to the stage, Ray... Peacock.

Oh, Peacock. There's no stage. Hello. You've not thought any of this through. As an intro, this is rubbish, because you can't just go, welcome to the stage, because it just confuses people at home.

You can't say, welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast, because the girls already said it. You've not thought... I ask you to do one thing. I ask you to do one thing for the podcast, and that is just lead the intro. Start it off, get it all going and that.

Hello. Welcome to the... Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. It is Ray Peacock on my right. Hello. Hello. And there's a Gamble on my left. Hello. See, that's what you have to carry on then. You can't just leave it at that. Hey, how are you, Ray? Are you alright, mate?

No, I'm alright. Good. I'm alright as well. What have you been up to this week? Nothing. I've had a really boring week. Same. I took three weeks off. I don't know why. I took three weeks off. One of them went on holiday this week? Nothing. I've had a really boring week. Same. I took three weeks off. I don't know why. I took three weeks off. One of them went on holiday

and the other two I've just had nothing to do. Literally, I'm sat around bored stupid. Everyone's going, oh, you need a break from work. Oh, you're overworking. You're a workaholic.

You're doing... And alright, alright. Oh, you're getting in a bad temper all the time. Oh, you've been shouting at Eklers but more than you probably should be doing. Oh, I think you need a break. Oh, that was disgraceful what you did to that

woman that night. And all she did was say that she found your Jade Goody material offensive. There was no need to do what you did, is to wish the same thing on her in front of everybody. You don't want to be doing any of that. It's about time you had a break. Alright, I'll have a break then. Right, now what? She's like, I've had a break.

Yeah, fine, now what? I've had a break. Yeah, fine. Now what? I'm just bored. I've been sat around this house. I've been watching DVDs. Bored? I don't know what to do about that. Well, entertain me for a bit. All right.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. No, I think if you entertain me, it needs a section of its own. So, come on then then Ed Gamble entertain me for a bit you're already in my bad books why? because I'm missing you

I'm here though no but I'm missing you not in no but when this comes out you're not when this comes out you've all gone up to Edinburgh Finch

for a bit yeah gone up to do my jokes haven't I yeah gone up to be in the comedy zone yeah

at the Pleasance yeah gone up to be in cool fun at the White Horse yeah both of them until the comedy zone yeah at the Pleasance and go and be in cool fun at the White Horse yeah both of them until the end of August

yeah you've not texted me I have no you've not you always do that when you go to Edinburgh every time you've been to Edinburgh

the last three years right and every single time you've been to Edinburgh right you go and you go ooh I'll miss you

bye ooh ooh yeah do all that yeah and then you go oh please come with me and I go

no I don't want to and ooh oh please oh no come with me and I go no I don't want to and oh oh please oh no I will write and text every day oh right oh I will keep in touch and then you go

about a week goes by and I go oh he's probably just a bit busy and that he'll probably text me soon then another week goes by and I go oh right

so this is the way it's going to be is it third week goes by and I start seeing on Facebook all people adding you as their friend and see that you've got loads of new friends in comedy and you leave me all behind all on my own and sat start seeing on Facebook all people adding you as their friend and see that you've got loads of new friends

in comedy and just leave me all behind all on my own and sat here in my house all bored so the least you can do now is entertain me for a minute I promise I will text you

when I'm in Edinburgh now every day twice no three no seven times a day well I will text you back as many times as you text me mate but I always text you back anyway

but you do the first text though because you're the one that has gone away so you do the first text right and then I promise I'll text you back anyway. But you do the first text though because you're the one that has gone away. So you do the first text, right? And then I promise I'll text you back. It won't cost you nothing because your mum

pays your phone bill. So I'll, and I get free texts anyway. So that'll be all right. I can keep in touch. It'd be nice. All right then. Then send me pictures as well

but not too many because it clogs up my inbox. Anyway, come on, do some entertainment for me. I'm ready now. All right. So here's a bit where Ed entertains Ray.

New section that we're doing. I remember once when I was a little boy, right? When my grandparents were over, right? And my mum went, now Edward, I've got to go out shopping. You keep the grandparents entertained. So what I did was opera. I put a pillow up my jumper, right?

Went in and said, hello grandma and grandpa, I'm Pavarotti. Because your mum had said, Keep them entertained. Keep them entertained, so I thought I had to do a show. So you put a show on? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, then let's do that then. I'll be your grandad. All right. What is his name? Well, it's technically Andrew. All right. But everyone calls him Steve. I'll be Steve then.

All right. All right. Ooh. Is that how we're Edward? It's not like that. But it is in this one. It's Northern Irish. Is that our Edward, to be sure?

Right, okay, that's offensive. All right, well, then I'll do it like the other one then. Like I was already doing. Right. Oh, is that our Edward? Oh, is he coming on that there stage? And going to do one of his plays? Oh, come on.

What's your grandma's name? Doreen. Come on, Doreen. Let's watch our Edward. He's going to do one of his plays. Ooh. Come on. What's your grandma's name? Doreen. Come on, Doreen. Let's watch how Edward is going to do one of them there plays. What he always does when his mum goes to shops.

It's from Northern. It's not from Yorkshire. Where's Yorkshire come from? I did a Northern Irish accent and you said it was offensive. It wasn't Northern Irish. Well, I'm going to tell what I'm doing.

He's from Yorkshire now. Come on, Doreen. Edward is ready now. Let's sit tight here. Has they got some sweets? He gives us one. Oh, she doesn't like it when I take a sweet off her. Look at her face.

Here, I give us one of them. Oh, look at her face. She's living, isn't she? When did this turn into Alan fucking Bennett? I've been Doreen now. No, it's because every time he takes a sweet off me, he sucks it, puts it back in wrapper, and puts it back in packet. And he thinks I don't know that he does it.

Oh, don't be so ridiculous, Dorian. I did it once, Edward, for a joke. Look at her face. She's, oh. I don't know why I married her. I should have married that Rita. I should have married that Rita that I used to go to dances with. It's not the only time I've reached her at dances.

Oh, don't be speaking about Rita. I know you know that she died three years later. If you'd have stayed with her, you'd be a bloody widow now, Edward. You'd be a widow. Oh, shut up, Doreen. They don't know what they're talking about. She didn't die. She moved to Australia.

No, she didn't. She she moved to Australia. No, she didn't. She did die, actually. No, they're talking shite. Now, shut up. Our Edward's going to do a play now. And we're going to watch it. I'll take my hand off their face. Right, here we go.

He hits me, Edward. Don't hit her. I just give her the occasional... No, come on now. I give her the occasional tap. No, come on. Just to keep her in check. No, ditter. I just give her the occasional... No, come on now. I give her the occasional tap. No, come on. Just for keeping her in check. No, right.

He hits me properly, Edward. He didn't know that about your grandad. Anyway, here we go. Right, Edward, now. We're doing a play. Let's give him a clap as we bring him on. Oh, doesn't he look handsome? Don't patronise the lad.

Hello, I'm Pavarotti. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la. Come on, Dorian, we're going. Short little section. We do it every week now. Very, very short now. It's called Exploding Popular Misconceptions.

The first one is, fannies do not smell of fish. Right? They don't. So don't make a joke about that. They simply don't smell of fish. And if you know a girl and you're with a girl and a fanny does smell of fish,

there's something wrong with it. She might have some sort of disease. Go fish, there's something wrong with it. She might have some sort of disease. Go doctors. Yeah, something up with it. In their normal state, fannies do not smell of fish. So please stop perpetuating that. Number two, men know where the clitoris is. It's very, very simple.

It's just at the top of the fanny. You can't actually miss it. It is a lump, right? It is there. Please stop perpetuating the myth that men don't know where to clit. If a man can't find a clitoris, again there is something wrong with him. And he should go to doctors because there's something wrong with

him. He's probably got motor neuron disease or something like that where he just can't work out how to touch things. I'm going to give you an extra one. Alright. There's an extra one in Poppy Misconceptions. Exploding the Poppy Misconceptions, right? Mike Tyson is not a comedy actor. He's a convicted rapist.

Right? So don't be putting him in films like The Angover or whatever it was called. It isn't funny. He's a convicted rapist. He should be on the fucking scrap heap. He should have no money. He should be bankrupt.

It's right that he's bankrupt. Don't put him in a fucking film and go, isn't it funny the way that Mike Tyson is singing and so on no he's a convicted fucking rapist and he shouldn't be used for entertainment purposes

it was funny though sure I go through phases of cheese and biscuits but I don't have it all the time but every now and again I'll just spot him

in a supermarket and go do you know what I'm going to get a bloody cheese board and some bloody biscuits I know what you mean mate go and enjoy myself but the problem is

I always have them late at night and they do say that cheese makes you dream and some people dispute that and say that it doesn't give you bad dreams

I think from this week it is definite really I'm going to give you a little selection of my dreams one of them was that I was fast asleep in bed and then I got up

that was a weird was that I was fast asleep in bed and then I got up. That was a weird one. No, I was asleep and I was very aware that somebody was in the house. Yeah. And it was a girl who actually lives just a bit down from me.

I've seen her come in and go in a little bit. It wasn't an erotic dream but I wouldn't have minded if it was because she's alright, you know. But she was in there and she went,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for coming in. There's a dead body outside your house. Oh no. Right, and there was a dead body wrapped in bin bags outside my front window. That was really weird, right? Yeah. there and she went, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for coming in. There's a dead body outside your house. Oh, no. Right, and there was a dead body wrapped in bin bags outside my front window. Whoa.

That was really weird, right? Yeah. And then she went, don't worry, I've already called the police. Yeah. And I went, I've got loads of books on serial killers, which I've actually not. Yeah. I've got some. I've got some about York's Ripper and things like that.

But I've not got a load. But they're just fake books, aren't they, where you keep all your knives? Yeah, that's where I keep my knives and trophies from people I've killed. But I got into a panic and I went and got all the serial killer books out and then the police arrived. So the police arrived to find a dead body outside my house and me just with an armful of serial killer books, just going, no, I was moving them because I thought you might think I had killed her.

And they went, how did you know it was a girl? And I woke up, it was fucking horrible. It was really frightening. The other one I had, a drink that me and you took over in the second series of Horn and Cordon.

Oh, brilliant. But it was, they decided to recast it. Right. And it was me and you doing it. Was it still called Horn and Cordon? Yeah. A really, really vivid dream.

Right. The first scene we filmed was us all in a queue and we were all teachers at a school. Right. Right. But I was doing it

as Ricky Gervais. Okay. Which I think they're doing impression of us in it. Yeah, at a school right but I was doing it as Ricky Gervais okay which I think they'd do an impression on us yeah and I was doing that and I was stood next

to a lollipop man right and really vivid just going to camera going soo outrank him well it sounds

brilliant better than him so really bizarre yeah and then I woke up panicked a little bit the next dream I had

that night when I went back to sleep was a dream I was on at the Royal Variety performance, right? Doing a double act with Nick Muhammad. Right. Right, it was a friend of ours,

Nick Muhammad. I was in No Heroics with him. He was a little brown boy and he was playing like an obsessed fan and I was the leader of the fans in the show No Heroics. Oh, this is in No Heroics, not in a dream.

No, this wasn't a dream. That really happened in real life. Is this a whole career in dreams panning out? No. Like, No Heroics, not in a dream. No, this wasn't a dream. That really happened in real life. Is this a whole career in dreams panning out? No. Like, kill a person, be in Horn and Cordon, Royal Variety performance.

No, but listen, right? Doing the Royal Variety, me and Nick Muhammad as a double act. We don't work together, me and Nick, live or anything. Well, good luck to you

is what I say. No, but listen. So we're on stage at the Royal Variety. For a bit, it was going alright. For about a minute, we were doing quite well

because we hadn't learnt it. Okay. Right, and we had like puppets and hats and things and we were doing quite well because we hadn't learnt it okay right and we had like puppets and hats and things and we were doing a bit of music a bit of singing in that it was meant to be comedy yeah it sounds great

bit of banter with the audience right at one point this woman was shouting stuff out and I went God are you what's wrong with you

have you got are you backward or something and then her daughter gave me a really big glare and went she's had a brain haemorrhage. Oh, God. Right?

It was really awkward. We're fucking about. We went off to the sound of our own feet. Like, not really much clapping at all. The Queen stopped the show. Right? And went, can one ask a question to the host? Who I think was Dermot Leary.

Right? Can one ask a question? If that is her singing, they're not coming to my house for Christmas right everybody cheered right that's an innovation I ran back onto the stage

and went to the Queen yeah like you're fucking relevant right security piled in and started hitting me right woke up

to be honest a lot of your gigs end up going that way I know that you're not with the Queen there though no do you know what the constant was in them two dreams?

What? The horn and cordon thing and the rover ride to be Nick Muhammad. Nick Muhammad. Nick Muhammad. Yeah. It's Nick Muhammad. He's got in my head. Yeah.

He is small. He is very little. Look up Nick Muhammad on Google or something. I mean, he's on Facebook. Add him on Facebook. Oh, God. Right? If you're a fan of the show, add Nick Muhammad on Facebook.

I know he listens to the podcast. Hello, Nick. Don't worry. I'm doubling your fans for you. Right? And just tell him to get out of my dreams. Send him messages. Tell him to stop ruining my dream career.

Right? Because I'm doing all right in real life. My dream career is going dreadfully because of Nick Muhammad. Well, yes, and send him messages from me as well, saying stop surpassing Ed. Yeah, stop muscling in on the double act of Ray and Ed. Stop trying to get involved in it. You affiliated yourself to one double act.

Just because it's backfired on you doesn't mean that you can now come and affiliate to our double act in the dream that I am having. It's not that bad, Nick, don't worry. No one recognises you anyway. We come head bowed. Head bowed, cap in hand. Yeah.

Tail between our legs. All apologetic about deliberate mistake. Yeah. Which basically this week, well, it's here now. Yeah yeah which is more than can be said for last week's when we forgot to do it yeah and last week's deliberate mistake from the week before was some or other where we said the wrong words in a bit so well done on winning that if you did and the deliberate mistake from last week is now which is same as well and you win 10p so well done on that yeah i mean we could say deliberate mistake from last week is now, which is same as well. And you win 10p.

So well done on that. I mean, we could say deliberate mistake was we didn't do the deliberate mistake section. Yeah. But that wasn't deliberate. No, it wasn't deliberate at all. We genuinely forgot to do it. Yeah, we forgot, yeah. And then a week later we recorded us saying, oh, we haven't done it, shit, right? So, I mean, I think we've decided, really.

Yeah. We're not going to bother. Probably the end of that. Yeah, deliberate mistake. I mean, to be fair've decided, really, we're not going to bother. Probably the end of that. Yeah, deliberate mistake. I mean, to be fair, you've all stopped entering it anyway. I mean, you did really well for the first five or six weeks of the podcast, but then after that, you just didn't bother entering again. Yeah, thank you for sort of humouring us.

Oh, I'm amazed you humoured us as long as you did. We think no ill of you for not bothering entering it anymore, because I'll be honest with you, had to edit the podcast listen to it and then go right that will be the deliberate mistake it was never deliberate it was still with

something convenient in there yeah yeah yeah always decided it just before we recorded the next one Japan and China go on Wikipedia

mate I had literally no idea I mean you hear me saying I knew already did a fuck I had no idea so that's the end of the deliberate mistake

section yeah little thing is that I can't had no idea. So that's the end of the deliberate mistake section. Yeah. Little thing is that I can't actually take out the little girl at the end of the show saying if you spotted the

librette mistake because it is attached to the music now. Yeah. And I've sort of lost the source files for it.

Yeah. So we'll keep saying that. And by all means do still enter. Do enter. That's fine. I mean if we think of a good

we'll perhaps bring it back for one week only I doubt it so that's something to look forward to yeah I mean enter it just for fun if you want

yeah unfortunately then we'll be pointing out real mistakes because we've not done any deliberate mistakes but we've just said none of them were

deliberate anyway really yeah but at least we've made out that some were yeah but we've said now I mean we have now shat on the history of it

we've come clean on it and we've got some exciting news next week because we do want to still interact with the people who didn't do it so we've said now. I mean, we have now shat on the history of it. Yeah, we have now. We've come clean on it and we've got some exciting news next week because we do want to still interact with the people who didn't do it. So we've got a new

competition happening from next week onwards. We'll reveal all those details next week, but for now, the end of an era. Sad. The deliberate mistake

section. Yeah. Misguided in the first place. A cynical way of getting people to interact with us, if we're honest.

It's all over. So, Ed, if you could just do a little song to say goodbye to the deliberate mistake section. The motherfucking deliberate mistake. Right. What section is it now? Letters. That's right.

Give me a bit of time to answer the question. Alright, then what section is it now? Deliber. That's right. Give me a bit of time to answer the question. All right, then what section is it now? Deliberate mistake. No, letters. Oh. And by the way, here is the thing. The letter section is going to have a staggering return to form this week. Is it?

Yep, because... Guess who's back? Back again. Ray is back. With his pen. Done a let. Done a let. Done a let. Done a let. Done a let. Done a let. Done a letter, done a letter, done a letter, done a letter, done

a letter, done a letter, done a letter. Right. Now, I have done a letter of complaint. We do this every week where we write a letter of complaint to a company in order to get some free stuff. Well, yeah. Well, we do it, but we don't really send them off. No. Oh, and yours never will get any free stuff anyway why because i told you that it's too good yeah all right fine yeah too brilliant well anyway you can say all you want because i have taken stock during my semi-retirement over the past few weeks and i've now written a letter which is now exactly as they're supposed to be right okay now i have completely come on everybody with me now got it i have now i now, I now understand it, how it works.

And there is my letter. I've complained to get free stuff. And once again, I've written one, right? Which is quite subtle about Fraser. Right. And is also something that we like. Right. To get some free stuff.

So you ready for it? Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Dear Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Have a lovely time at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Go and have a ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Have a lovely time at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Go and have a ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. If you're feeling down, you can see the laughing clown

at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. That is a song I remember from when I was little and came there. Four animatronic bears sang it, but then you knocked it down. I've not actually been to Blackpool Perch Beach for about four years and the reason for this is my fucking son, Fraser. Oh, he was a right laugh

at first as a baby. Apart from pooing in his pants but he was funny. Then he started smoking cigarettes and got cancer and I won't lie, the vet bills are starting to pile up. I sometimes wish he'd been

born with it. You might think having a baby with cancer would be awful, but it is worse when they're seven, because you've got to know them a bit, haven't you? Oh no, Christ! Anyway, me and my husband, who is a policeman,

deserve a break and to go on some big rides for free. Or, if you want to go the more traditional route, it would be nice for our sick child blah blah blah. Either way, we need tickets for the big one and Valhalla. A couple of free fish and chips wouldn't bankrupt you either, would it? A couple of free fish and chips wouldn't bankrupt you either, would it? Anyway, I'm sure you are busy. And, oh, can I have a hot dog and a drink as well? Actually, that's a good idea.

Let's do a list so I definitely get all the free stuff and it doesn't end up with you just sending me a 25% off voucher like them cunts at Gulliver's World did. Number one, tickets for big rides. Number two, a brilla for when I'm on the wet ones. Number three, tickets for free food. Number four, a little motorised car to get round in because Fraser is weak. Brackets, if you don't have these, then a dodgem will do.

Five, ticket for an hotel for sleeping. Six, £100 £100 £100 spends.

Brackets, with some change for arcade, have you got the Star Wars Podracer game still yet or not? Look forward to hearing from you, Mrs Fraser.

P.S. If you don't send it all then I'm going to go to papers about that time I saw a boy fall off the Grand National to his death P.P.S. just remembered

it was meant to be a complaint letter so I will add that I once got the runs off a donut I ate there well not actually inside of Blackpool Pleasure Beach but one of them little stores at the entrance.

This made Fraser, I don't know, drown in the sea or something. So there you go, that is my letter for this week. Yeah, I mean, you saved it right at the end, because I was going to pick up that it's not a complaint letter, and what you're essentially doing is inventing a child with cancer to falsely get a trip to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. I know I did amend that at the very end, I should say. Well, that was clever. I know, thanks amend that at the very end, I should say. Well, that was clever.

I know, thanks. But I think, actually, from now onwards, our letters maybe should be just using a dying child to get free stuff. Right. See, no, I don't... That could be the letters section every week. I think that might... Use a dying child to get it free. And that's a snappy name for a section and all, isn't it?

No, A, not a snappy name. B, I think that might... The section might lose some of its charm if it's inventing a dying child to get their last wish. It might work.

But that has been a lot of what we've been doing so far. No, it's been... No, I'll reiterate. It's been a lot of what you've been doing so far. And you've done it

with your one last week. No. I wrote one in your style. I read your letter out last week. It was really offensive. Not nearly offensive as that one I've just read about that big bunch of beach. Yeah, it is as one last week. No. I wrote one in your style. I read your letter out last week. It was really offensive. Not nearly as offensive as that one I've just read about

Yeah, it is as offensive as that. Ride around on a dodgem. I tell you what, I do need a dodgem to get about in nowadays. Do you? Yeah. We went bowling the other day

in real life, me and you went bowling. I was like crippled for two days afterwards. I was just bowling. You did need a physio after it. It was unbelievable. My legs seized up and everything. I just think maybe you'd look a bit

ridiculous driving up to the bowling lane in a Dodgem. I think I'd look brilliant. I stole a Dodgem once. What I want to know is how do you drive a Dodgem anywhere else apart from the Dodgem? No, I didn't drive it. I lifted it. I didn't drive it. It was at Harper Adams Agricultural College. Okay.

To be honest with you, I probably shouldn't talk about it because it was at Harper Adams Agricultural College. Okay. And it was, to be honest with you, I probably shouldn't talk about it because it was only like three years ago. They had like a summer ball going on at the same time as we were doing a gig there. And me and one of the other acts lifted one of the dodgums from the dodgums, which were closed at the time.

We nicked a dodgum and took it on stage. And I went on it. I got pushed onto the stage on it. Yeah. As my grand entrance, right? And then, you know when you sometimes get a bit giddy on stage, a bit excited, and you don't really think what you're doing? Then I invited a little boy out of the audience

to come and have a go on the dodgems, right? Right. On this stage. It's about a five-foot-high stage it was. Put him in the dodgems, and pushed it over the edge of the stage. How old was this boy? I don't know.

He was a student. So we broke the dodgegem and practically broke his neck it was in a big marquee and we just pushed it straight off the stage because I got excited and as I saw it just tip over the end

like the end of the Italian job I can vividly remember thinking I've took this too far but I don't think that that charge could be levelled at my letter I don't think I took that too far

I think it was perfect and I look forward to getting a dodge and for going on Blackpool Pledge Meet to spend all my tickets. Hey, Ray, I was speaking to this bloke the other night and he runs this thing called My First Gig Hey, Ray, I was speaking to this bloke the other night. Yeah. And he runs this thing called My First Gig. Okay. Where comedians go down and they do, like, what they can remember that they did at their first gig ever.

Yeah. Sounds like quite a good idea. Well, for you to do it. Yeah. You'll just be doing your current set. You're going to be going about five minutes. Just go down there and do your normal gig. Yeah, this is my first routine.

I'm still doing it. I remember it from yesterday. Yeah, I'll tell you what I would do, right, if I went down there. What? I would turn it all on its head, mate.

Would you? I'd go on, right. You'd do your last gig. No, I'd go on, right, and I'd go, yeah, right, thanks for having me. I'll tell you what it was, right.

In Italy, right. That's about eight. Went on a holiday with my parents, right. Nick, one of my dad's, right. Tuck it down. Tuck it down by the swimming pool. just smoked it, made me right sick. What is it?

What is it again? Do you know what, Ed? What? Me and you have been working in the audio medium now for, I think it's three years. Yeah. On this project and other projects. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, I can't believe, I think it's three years. Yeah. On this project and other projects. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, I can't believe we haven't thought of this before. What?

I can't believe we haven't, because all the best radio shows and all the best podcasts and that, right, what feel good and common, right? What is the most sort of hack thing they do? And I don't mean hack in a bad way, because hack is good. Yeah. Because hack is popular. Yeah. Right, what is the best hack thing that they do?

Tell me, Ray. Prank calls. Yeah. I can't believe we've never done that they do? Tell me, Ray. Prank calls. Yeah. I can't believe we've never done prank calls, right? I know, I love them. And we thought about it earlier in the week. Why have we never done bloody prank calls? We'd be brilliant at that.

With our improvisational skills. Yeah. And our ability to come up with weird and wacky scenarios. I mean, I admit we have stolen a little bit from your Steve Pench. The Penxter, yeah. Your Dom Jollies. Yeah. Phone Jacker. Yeah. We've stolen a bit from them with some of the ideas that we Steve Penks. The Bankster, yeah. Your Dom Jollies. Yeah. Phone Jacker.

Yeah. You know, we've stolen a bit from them with some of the ideas that we have out there. Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah. But I think we have managed to come up with a good prototype. Yeah, I think it's good. In order to make them good. So we are now going to welcome you to our little prank calls that we're going to be doing every single week.

And honestly, wait till you hear the magic that we've come up with. And honestly, very little preparation, really. Yeah, and you couldn't tell. A lot of it is seat of our pants stuff. So the first one is to our friend Nish, who's a comedian. Yeah. So obviously you can take a joke on that. Yeah.

So we did a prank call on Nish earlier on in the week. I called him from my mobile, didn't I? I called him from his mobile phone. And this is what happened on Nish. I can't wait for him to hear it. This is Nish's prank call, so here we go now. Hello? Hello?

Ed? No. Hello? No. This is the council. The what? the council. The what? The council. We have got some bad news about your cat. Right.

And the house has flooded as well and your wife is dead. Oh good, it's both of you. It's both of us in the council. Have you ever heard of Phone Jacker? Have you ever heard of Steve Penk and Dom John? Yeah, Steve Penk. We are like Penki. You have been Penks.

Punks, punks. All of those references are ten years out of date. Don't shut up. I just wish I could have seen his face. I know. That, Ed, was brilliant. I mean, us working together on that was brilliant. It was magic.

When we said, oh, it's the council, and he came straight away and thought it was the council. You can hear it in his voice that he fell for it. You can hear that he's scared. He's going, oh, oh, what is going to happen? What is going to happen? And then at the end we revealed, you know, after a long time through the phone call and weaving our magic,

and then at the end of it, it was so relieved. It was very relieved. Which is what's fun about these. You know, people take it the right way. They get upset and worried for a bit. Yeah. But at the end of it, they realise it's a good joke and they take it as a good joke. It's a well done niche. And there'll be another prank call next week.

The Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by the Tiger Lilies, except the last one, which is performed by Frank Sidebottom. The Peacock and Gamble podcast is a big and dark production, hosted by Chortle.co.uk. If you spotted a deliberate mistake in this week's show, tell us on our Facebook page and you might win a prize. See you next week. When we went to the Central London yesterday, you asked me a question and you weren't even joking.

Right. We walked past TGI Fridays. Yeah. Right, and you asked me about Chris Evans' programme, TFI Fridays. Yeah. What did you ask me? What it stood for.

You asked me what it stood for. I told you. Yeah. And I said, oh, TFI Friday, it's thank fuck it's Friday. Yeah. So it's TGI Friday, it's saying thank God it's Friday.

Yeah. Right? Now, what did you say you thought it stood for? Don't forget your toothbrush. You're fucking, that's just the most ridiculous thing you've ever said

and you weren't even fucking joking. How does TFI Friday stand for don't forget your fucking toothbrush? Chris Evans did that one. I know he did it as well.

But you can't ask that as a serious question when I'm drinking a milkshake. Straight on my nose. And then that made me look an idiot. I had to explain

to people around me, no, it's him, he's a fucking retard.