The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Episode 17

Episode Date: May 19, 2019

"Episode 17" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 17 of 128.

Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Hello, this is the Peacock and Gamble podcast calling. Welcome to the 1942 radio. That's good, isn't it? Do a theme. Yeah, you start one off. That was good. I like that you were just in a little state of panic then.

You thought, I'd better do something unusual from the beginning. And you came up with 1942 radio. That's brilliant, Ed. Yeah, I know. All the kids will love that. All in 1942 radio. Keep going with it. This is Mother's Hour with Peacock and Gamble.

That's brilliant. Keep going. You can do voices. You can go on and do voices then. Okay, well, this is Mother's Hour. Okay, here we are. Now, a song about fruit. You've got to eat fruit,

so here's a song to get all the kids eating fruit. Go on. A lovely little apple in the morning. A juicy little nana in the night. That's so good. And in the middle of the day, we all enjoy a play. And everybody has a bit of peach.

That's very, very good, Ed. Thanks. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. I'm Ray Peacock. Hello, I'm... You just talk like that all day, don't you? Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. Edward, uh, Edward Stevenson Gamble. That's very, very nice indeed.

You shouldn't really have a nana at night, I don't think. No, it'd give you a little rush of energy, wouldn't it that's a bad idea that would give you bad dreams probably i'm not in bed either i don't leave the nana skin by the bed and then get up in the morning and do a fall on it onto a rake that could happen as well i like that you started the reason that you started the podcast today is because you were getting annoyed because every time we did a mic test i was rapping yeah we did try and do a mic test and then try and start an intro as well. And you just kept rapping. I have saved one of them.

Have you? I've saved one of our raps, mate. And I tell you what, if this podcast gets boring at any point, right, I might have put the rap in there. Yeah. Just put our rapping mic test in there. It was brilliant. Well, you started rapping and then obviously I had to join in because, you know me, I've got a flow with a rap. No, if you hear a rap, then you go, you go tell you what I'm going to start styling as well

yeah and that's what you did and you got mad because I was styling on you no you were you were just mad because I was styling on you I did enjoy our rap battle though

because rather than it being what a rap battle is normally with people dissing each other yeah right it was just me and you complimenting each other on each other's stuff

well that is the best way do you know what I know about rap battles is how why is it going to be so confrontational you're just so mean on each other's stuff. Well, that is the best way. Do you know what annoys me about rap battles? Is how, why is it going to be so confrontational? Why are they so mean to each other?

Yeah, just be, just, why can't you be friends? Why can't we be friends? Yo. Why can't we be friends? Yo, yo. Why can't we be friends?

You're just mad because I'm standing on you. Nice hat. Yeah, I like your hat and I like your trainers and enjoy all that. Anyway, let's go with the podcast. The last one in this country yeah but we'll tell you about that in a moment welcome to the show tell you what we talk some fucking bollocks on this i mean we really do i

mean sometimes we come up with like good bits and that and nice sections and that and other times we just talk absolute fucking bollocks. Quite often, when I'm listening back to it, I don't remember saying it. No, quite often, when I listen back to it, I think it's two other blokes. Yeah, because I do just go into some weird trance, or I just go...

It's... we freestyle. You know, it might not be good when it comes out, but you've got to admire the effort. Hang on. But I'll tell you what, it is like we were saying, the last one in this country. Is it? Yeah, because don't forget, we are going on holiday. Oh yeah, we are.

But we're not going to a different country though. Yeah, we are. Right, guess what? Guess what, listener? If you're listening to this on a Monday, guess where me and Ed are right now? Blackpool Pleasure Beach. We are on Blackpool Pleasure Beach, me and Ed, coming live, doing a podcast on here. Do you think they'll let us record a podcast at Blackpool Pleasure Beach?

I don't see how they can stop us. I'm worried about it, because if we go down there with the laptop and the mics and that, but then we go on the rides as well, I'm worried that the laptop will get wet. Well, I think we can take the laptop and the mics on the big one. Can you do that? Yeah. Do you think? Well, that last went on it, right?

I was surprised to see people who didn't have laptops. A lot of people had laptops on the big one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. Do you think? Well, when I last went on it, right, I was surprised to see people who didn't have laptops. A lot of people had laptops on the big one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that is the modern world, isn't it?

Yeah. That is, it was basically, right, it was a load of businessmen in the morning, right, go,

oh, excuse me, darling, I'm off to work now at the bank, but I'm going to have a quick go on the big one. And then I saw him,

right, this main banker, right, the bank manager, you could tell because he had a moustache. Yeah. Right, so he was the manager, right, he sat on the front of the big one, right then I saw him, right, this main banker, right, the bank manager, you could tell because he had a moustache. So he was the manager. He sat on the front of the big one, right? He wasn't even in the right

bit of the queue. He just went, I'm the bank manager and they had to let him on the front, right? And then when we got to the top of the first bit, I heard him go, oh, I need to check my email. And he checked his email and when he was going down, and everyone else was screaming, right, and heard him go, 42.6. And he got an email about, and everyone else was screaming, right, and heard him go, 42.6.

When he got an email about the numbers. Yeah. As I say, often it's just completely talking bollocks, isn't it? Just have a quick Tesco update. If you've been following the saga of Tesco when I got thrown out of there, physically thrown out at gunpoint by someone in Tesco, I might have exaggerated that a bit.

And they set fire to your shoes. I know. Where am I going to get some other shoes from? Out of the blue, they've written to me again. Yeah. Their head office has written to me now. And we've been getting some updates from listeners as well. Yeah, I'll tell you about those in a moment.

I've got them written down, because also the thing happened with the Jedi bloke. Yeah. Which has been in the news about a bloke going in Jedi robes, got chucked out of Tesco. Yeah. Don't know how I feel about that. I'm a big Star Wars fan, I'm very anti-Tesco at the moment. Yeah. But at the same time, mate, you were dressed as a fucking Star Wars character walking around Tesco.

But to be physically thrown out is just ridiculous. Was he dressed as a Star Wars character or was that a good excuse he came up with afterwards for wearing a hood I considered it because when they said about religious

reasons that they would allow you to religious reasons and I thought didn't they start officially recognising Jedi as a religion

well they had to technically no they didn't it's bollocks right Britain or the British government

or whoever does it the censors don't recognise any religions really yeah they don't recognise any religions at all

I recognise religions. The one with the cross and church, that is Christian. I know that one. But anyway, here's a letter from Tesco that I got out of the blue today. It just came this morning. From the customer service centre at Baird Avenue, Dundee. DD23TN. Free phone [phone].

And this is from Sandy Munro, who's a customer services manager, who is so important right I'm not even messing she doesn't even have to sign her own message is it a she or a boy I don't know

because it is in Scotland and sometimes they call men Sandy in Scotland oh do they ok man or woman I don't know what you are I think they say it like this

Sandy Munro ok well Sandy Munro thank you for your letter the signature is just printed on the page. That's ridiculous. No, I like that. I wish I was that important.

Right, here we go. Dear Mr. Peacock, thank you for contacting us. New paragraph. I was sorry to learn of the problems you experienced when you visited our Hatfield store recently. I can understand how upsetting this must have been for you. New paragraph.

Many of our customers have told us that they feel uncomfortable when they see other shoppers wearing unsuitable clothing in our stores. And we do try to find a balance that everyone is happy with. Although we don't have a formal dress code in our stores, we rely on our management team to use their discretion and common sense. I've told our store manager about your complaint

and I know that he will follow this up with his team. Thanks again for taking the time to let us know about this. Yours sincerely, foreign on behalf of Tesco Stores Limited. Send him a new row. Right, here's the thing. There's so many things in that letter

like because like the one that we got last week said that there was a policy yeah said that they do it's Tesco policy this must be like a

standard letter do you reckon like it seems like he didn't even know what the problem was really well he or she we don't even know

what Sandy is Sandy but the thing of that saying many of our customers have told us that they feel uncomfortable when they see other shoppers

wearing and I thought I'd say what we should do right we should start if they do listen to But the thing of that saying, many of our customers have told us that they feel uncomfortable when they see other shoppers wearing... And I thought, I'll tell you what we should do, right? We should start... If they do listen to their customers in that way... I mean, we've got thousands of listeners to this podcast. All of you, right? I gave the address out. I think we should start writing to Tesco, right? My initial thought was, and say that we feel uncomfortable when there's Chinese people... Right, but I changed that because I actually thought Chinese

was the least offensive race. I thought they were the ones least likely to kick off about it. Because they're quiet. Yeah, right? That is what I thought in my head. But now I thought, well, fuck it, let's just say fat people, because we're fat. Right. I'm fat and Ed is fat and all. Yeah. Everybody write in and say that you don't like it

when you're in Tesco and you see fat people. Yeah. Right? And if Tesco is a democracy. If that's how they work, then we should be able to get fat people banned from Tesco. Right? And then let's see the shit hit the fan. But we did ask last week for our listeners to write some letters to Tesco.

Yeah. I'm not going to read them out. They're on the Facebook page, some of them. Go and have a read of them on the Facebook page. Daniel Lewis Carter did one today saying about Tesco Extra Express, which apparently essentially kidnapped two Italian girls and held them downstairs in a room because they'd squeezed a muffin. That apparently is true.

That really happened. They'd squeezed a muffin and bought a different one. Right. And they said that they'd contaminated the food. Yeah, but if you squeeze a muffin and it doesn't have the right texture... Yeah said that they'd contaminated the food. Yeah, but if you squeeze a muffin and it doesn't have the right texture.

Yeah, you don't want to buy it, do you? Yeah, exactly. If it doesn't spring back quickly enough. Apparently the same Tesco and Exeter are

still pursuing legal costs after a man ate a bit of roll before paying for it. I do that all the time, have a little bite of stuff in the supermarket.

As long as you've still got the thing and you can pay for it. The bar could actually be fine, wouldn't you? Doesn't matter.

Yeah, so it sounds like they've been quite heavy handed there. Yeah. But Daniel Lewis Carter, he's written a letter you can pay for it. The bar could actually be fine wouldn't it? Doesn't matter. Yeah so it sounds like it's been quite heavy handed there. Yeah. But Daniel Lewis Carter he's written a letter to them

based on that. Sam Metcalf he pointed out that a foreskin is known as a hood in America. He wanted to know whether he'd have

to be circumcised to go to a Tesco store. That's a good point. Do you have to prove it at the barrier?

Exactly. Fair point there. Ellis Watts again he wrote a letter saying that I Ray needed my hood because of a fire that left me looking like a mash-up between Phantom of the Opera and Simon Weston.

So I don't know how I feel about that. But that's what his letter says. Go and have a read of that on the Facebook page. And also, Jim Sterling wrote a really good letter, actually, that considered Tesco's actions as a rape against their hoodie-wearing customers. And as most of the hoodie-wearers are children, well, you get the idea. So don't have a read of that letter. It's quite offensive in that, and we don't authorise

anybody sending these letters to Tesco. We do not think that you should do it, but we can't stop you from doing it if you decide to. As I walked on stage last night, I haven't said a word. I walked from the wings to the mic. I sort of inhaled to start talking.

I went, and somebody shouted out, Slayer. I went, what? And he went, it's a band. I was like, that's a fucking, how weird is that? A thing to shout out. You don't look like anyone from Slayer either. Right, but do you know what he said then? What?

He went, my hair used to be as long as yours. Or was he simple? I think he might have been real life simple. I can't think because he was right at the back. I imagine what happened was either he was simple or he'd had a few drinks and he thought, that man has long hair and a beard. He must like heavy metal.

I'll try and be friends with him. Yeah. Or maybe he thought, right, I'm going to have a few beers and I'm going to go in the big room and watch Catchphrase. Fat little bloke! Have I got it or not? Oh, it's close but it's not right. I love doing all our consumer affairs shit.

I know, mate. We're like proper social terrorists, but good ones. I know. It's like Watchdog, isn't it? Yeah. Except easier on the eye. Because I thought this the other day when I was driving to a gig, and I thought, what we should start doing, because I think Watchdog is a worthwhile programme,

just badly executed and presented. With Anne Robinson on it. In my opinion. Yeah. And I thought what we could do is me and you could watch Watchdog every week so the listeners don't have to. Oh that's good. We'll watch it so you

don't have to listen to it and then we'll just tell you what happened on it. Do a summary of it. Yeah and we will call it Clock Cat. Anyway Clock Cat we

watch Watchdog so you don't have to. I saw Watchdog this week. Okay. Let's do it now then. Alright then. Because I can't watch

it really. Even as I was setting up this section I thought that wouldn't mean I have to watch it though. Does that mean I have's do it now then. All right then. Because I can't watch it, really. Even as I was setting up this section, I thought, that wouldn't mean I have to watch it, though. Does that mean I have to do it then? Mate, Mitch Bend did a song on it the other week. Are you serious? Yeah. My toes, I nearly broke my trainers.

My toes were curling so much. It was when I'm going, what on earth are you doing? I can't believe Watchdog rang up and went, will you do a song? And you went, yep, I'll do it. That's mental to me. But anyway, so you believe Watchdog rang up and went will you do a song and you went yep I'll do it that's mental to me but anyway

so you saw Watchdog this week I saw a little bit of it a very embarrassing bit okay well then let's do that then alright then TikTok meow

welcome to Clock Cat welcome to Clock Cat we watch Watchdog so you don't have to is there to be some news little wink alright then basically Watchdog right

might have been this week might have been the week before or that or that other week before right Adam Robinson came on it right and talking about sunbeds and saying they give you cancer

and that and sent someone who was young out who most places do sunbeds for only 18 year olds and above 18 right

but 16 year old went in got into bloody Duncan Bannentine's health club got on a sunbed at 60 years of age 16 yeah and they're not meant to no I don't think so

I think that is too young. But all the other places put in an age limit, even though I'm not sure there's a legal thing to do that. Honestly, I don't understand people using sunbeds.

And I'll tell you now, as a heterosexual male, girls who go on sunbeds, you look fucking awful. You look fucking dreadful. Honestly, it looks really unattractive and it'll make you all wrinkly.

Yeah. But that's just my opinion, not watchdogs. I'm just saying, don't go on sunbeds. It looks fucking dreadful. Yeah, and plus then Final Destination mightly. Yeah. But that's just my opinion, not Watch Dogs. I'm just saying, don't go on sunbeds. It looks fucking dreadful. Yeah, and plus then Final Destination might happen.

Yeah, exactly. And you get all wrinkly orange tits. But anyway, so go on. So she interviewed, this is Anne Robinson, interviewed Duncan Bannerton, right? Okay, because it was one of his clubs. Yeah.

And was saying, why did you do this with sunbeds, idiot? Ew, why did you do this with sunbeds? That's the queen. And then... sunbeds, you idiot? Ew, why did you do this with sunbeds? That's the Queen. It's a mummy, you idiot. And then Duncan Valentine's going, Oh, there's no proof. That's Billy Connolly.

I've spoken to my friend, Sandy Monroe. There's no proof that it gives you cancer. Everyone uses a nice sunbed, I've a go on it. He's paraphrasing now. I'm sure you've used sunbeds Anne, haven't you? You use sunbeds all the time. And Anne Robinson went, yeah, I did when I was younger but then in my 20s

I got cancerous melanoma on my skin and I had to have it cut out. And then he went, was it really uncomfortable? Yeah, really uncomfortable. And then Duncan Palatine just went, well I'm out. That gets him out of anything. Competition time. Hooray.

Time to do a competition, a real one now we're doing. We're having a week off from the competition to run a competition, right? There have been entries, thank you for them, but we're going to roll them over to next week probably. Because I think it's time to set up a new competition properly. Yeah. But what we're going to do as a test,

just to see what sort of feedback we get, we're going to have a one-week-only official competition. Are we? Yeah, I've thought of it. Nice one. It is my competition. You are the winner. I know.

I have won the competition. Thank you very much. Oh, I've won a million pounds, which was the secret prize. Thank you. Can I have a bit of it? No. Oh. Right.

And loads of Star Wars Lego. Yeah. Please can I have some Star Wars Lego? You know, we asked about free stuff and that. Please can I have some Star Wars Lego? Because I'm getting actually obsessed with it in real life. Yeah. Please can I have some Star Wars Lego? You know, we asked about free stuff and that. Please can I have some Star Wars Lego because I'm getting actually obsessed with it in real life.

Right, and I've got to clear up something from last week. What? I said that I need a Sin City Volume 3. I don't. I need Volume 4.

No, and not 5 and 6 because I have 5 and 6. Tell you what, if anyone's got the hardbacks of Sin City by the way, I'll have them. Yeah, you will.

Big ones because I can't get them. I could find Volume 2 for £100. Yeah. But Volume 1, the only one I could find on Amazon was about £600 and I don't know if there's

anyone with that much cash but if you want to buy it then you can and I'm still looking for seasons 4 to 7 of The Shield as well and Josh Roberts actually gave me some

Star Wars Lego he did thank you Josh Roberts by the way that was some free stuff we got see what happens you get named on the podcast

if you give us free stuff but anyway the competition this week is on iTunes when this podcast comes out there are little blurbs next to it. We do a little blurb

a description of the podcast. It's not a description of the podcast. We just make them up every week. But a lot of them are based on films. Right?

If anyone can get all the films then you win this week's prize. And that's actually a really difficult competition. It is. Some of them are films

and some of them are just things like I think there's one we invent a sport called golf. Yeah. That's not from a film. Yeah. But just try and find the ones

that are from films and say what films are from and if anybody gets all of them then you will win. The first one to get all of them will win the prize which this week is and I'm not even messing

a signed poster of Cleopatra. Right. And I'm not even messing that it is real. And she has been dead for thousands of years and she's bitten by that ass. No, it is the band Cleopatra and I've got it messing that it is real. And she has been dead for thousands of years and she was bitten by that ass. No, it is the band Cleopatra.

And I've got it here. This is actually a genuinely signed poster of Cleopatra. I did Lincoln University last night. I did a gig there at the Engine Shed. Brilliant gig. Really enjoyed it. And we're going back to Lincoln, aren't we? We are.

What date is it? It's on Saturday the 3rd of October. Okay. At 6.30pm. Okay, cool. Well, me and Ed are doing that. We're doing a double edit of stand-up. Yep.

It's part of the Lincoln Comedy Festival. But last night when I was at Lincoln Engine Shed, the night before, me and Ed are doing that. We're doing a double-edder of stand-up. Yep. It's part of the Lincoln Comedy Festival. But last night when I was at Lincoln Engine Shed, the night before, Cleopatra had been on. Right? Doing singing and dancing and all that. Were they all on at the same time? Apparently so. Oh, so you live together, don't you?

Very kindly, they sent a poster for the student union. Yeah, it's lovely of them. Yeah, so I took it. It was just on a wall. Yeah. And I thought, who's going to want that, really? Apart from you and our listeners. I'll tell you who'll want it. Our listeners will want it. So I stole it. It was just on a wall. Yeah. And I thought, who's going to want that really? Apart from you and our listeners. I'll tell you who'll want it,

our listeners will want it. So I stole it. I steal quite a lot. You do. You tend to steal something from every gig. Yeah. It's not a good thing, that.

No, it's robbing. It's only because I think I can do it. Oh, it's a crime. I tell you what, I won't say where it was, but there was a movie store, a merchandise store.

I stole something from there. Yeah. And you really tore me a movie store, a merchandise store. I stole something from there. Yeah. And you really tore me off for it. And rightly so. Because stealing things from gigs, like a poster or something like that, you can sort of get away with that. Yeah. But stealing a real thing that is being sold in a shop is shoplifting. Yeah, I know it is.

And do you know why I did it? And it wasn't that long ago, this. You were showing off for me. I was showing off to you but also I did it because I could I didn't even want it yeah

that's bad isn't it yeah but anyway I do sometimes just take things so I've took a Cleopatra poster and you can win it and it is signed by them all it is signed by

Yondel and Cleo and Alan I don't know I don't know what they're called I can't really read their writing but yeah to end on that all you need to do is find the blurbs

on the iTunes for this podcast and everyone that refers to the movie you you've got to guess the movie. If you get them all, you win the Cleopatra sign poster. Me and Ed will sign it as well. Yeah. I'll pretend we are in Cleopatra. Yeah, we might stick photos of us next to Cleopatra while we're in the band.

Yeah, feeling their busters as well. Their pretend false busters that they've had done. Time for a complaint letter from ed nice one thanks new jingle yeah are you ready for a letter i like tell what i liked about that jingle what is it built up expectation tell you what let's not chat and meander yeah ruining it now the expectation is all i let's just fucking get right in there slam a letter right up the listener yeah go on right this is like

a complete letter like we write every week to a company or person for getting free stuff as a lady from a family with a poor boy called Fraser in it Mrs Fraser she's called

yeah alright what are you doing with your hands I'm just I'm just putting all my fingers together like they've never met before I'm just doing it like I'm like I'm listening putting all my fingers together. Like you've never met before? I'm just doing it like I'm listening on question time.

I'm just putting all my fingers together. Like I'm letting another person speak on question time and listening. And I'm listening, but when they're finished, I'm going to take my fingers apart and then I'm going to respond. Is it like, here is the church, here is the steeple. Then it the other way, it looks like a fanny. I think that is it. I can't remember if that's what it is.

That is the one my grandma taught me. I thought it was that. Come on, do you let your... Alright, here we go. Complaint letter. Alright, hurry up with it then. Read it out. Right.

Dear Darren Browns. From Mrs Fraser. P.S. Thought you could just read my mind. From Mrs Fraser. P.S. Thought you could just read my mind. Rather than me having to shit the letter out of my pen anus.

Not so clever now, are you Darren? I didn't actually write or think of anything, so that's made you look stupid, you mind bender. Which I believe was the headline when Darren Brown came out. What? Mind bender? Mind bender. Is he our guy? Yeah, he came out as a homosexual gentleman and I believe the headline in? Mindbender? Mindbender. Is he, I was gay? Yeah, he came out as a homosexual gentleman, and I believe the headline in Possibly

the Sun was Mindbender. No fucking way. I didn't even know he'd come out as gay. Yeah, yeah, a couple of years ago. Mindbender. Brilliant. What I would have said is this. Hello, Darren Browns. Firstly, congratulations on your programmes on the telly. I know how

difficult it is to get on the fucking picture box And you have done it loads, so well done on that Darren I tried to get on that television once, on the news bit By pretending my son Fraser had cancer And tried to get Box Fiz to do a special concert in his Wendy house But we got found out that I'd just shaved his head and put a straw up his nose So they wouldn't let us on in the end. And then he did get cancer for real, but Moira Stewart didn't believe us

because of the first time, like that story of the boy that cried on a wolf. You know that story. This boy bought a wolf and then cried on it, but no one believed it because it was a wolf because it was wet or something. Anyway, Derek, this is a complaint letter, so concentrate on it and stop making a coin disappear while you read it. I know what you magicians are like. You say

you're reading something, but you're probably just getting distracted by playing Thumb Wars with the great Sorprendo. Sorprendo? My son Fraser brackets cancer one leg prat is a great big fan of you and has been since I shat him out on that gravel in Scotland.

So it was with great excitement that we wheeled him into the living room to watch your latest picture show where you were going to make people do a sticking on their sofa. Good luck, I thought. The only programme that makes me stick to my sofa is Snog, Marry, Avoid. Absolutely brilliant.

And by the way, Sue Perkins is the voice of the pod, no matter how hard she tries to be uncredited for it. But Fraser was adamant that you could do it. And lo and behold, it happened. All of us stuck to our seats. It has emerged, however, that Fraser did it with wood glue. As a result, I have lost all the skin from my rump. Mr Fraser is too scared to get up, which is a problem

as he has to get to his job as a candlestick maker. For some reason, Fraser stuck himself to his wheelchair as well, probably just to join in. When he tried to get up, so brittle are his bones that he ripped off his only leg, leaving it on the chair it is as the local papers said a right fucking tip this is your fault please send some glue solvent and next week's

lottery numbers sticky ass kisses mrs fraser brilliant fantastic yeah that's darren brown sorted out yeah darren brown's darren Darren Brown yeah Derek wow I mean what was it I didn't watch that programme was it good? I didn't watch the Stiggins and Sofa one I watched the lottery one well see

I watched the the one where he went I'm gonna tell you how I did the lottery thing yeah and I watched the beginning bit and then I thought do you know what

no you're not yeah because he's not you're not gonna tell us nothing no he never does and then I just turned it off and then I found out afterwards that he didn't explain it or he made it up

yeah yeah I mean it's quite a weird thing, isn't it? Because I'd actually be more interested to go, all right, how did you do it? Was it a split screen thing? What did you do? Yeah.

How did you do the numbers? Because why didn't he just say, right, here's the numbers I've picked, let's watch the draw. Why did he watch the draw and then reveal the numbers? Well, he's doing it as, well, because I think it was split screen.

Is that what, is that? I think that is, that seems to be the accepted thing that when you saw the numbers on the left hand side of the screen and he was watching the draw, that that was just a still, because nothing was happening over there. Okay. And then while the draw was going on, what was actually happening in the room were people

were putting the numbers on the rack and then putting them back, and then as he started to walk over it came off split screen, and that was actually what was happening in the room at the time. I mean, the other part of it is just go I'll tell you what if you can do that if you can predict the numbers right

give them an homeless don't just do it on channel 4 right do a little bit where you're on channel 4 and you go tell you what let's go down

to South Bank let's just give them an homeless or just give them some of your money yeah and call it the homeless millionaire

bender call it the homeless millionaire bender because i like that headline mind bender yeah that's brilliant yeah i'm pretty sure it was that i find it utterly offensive but i find it very funny totally but you can just imagine them sitting in the sun office i reckon that people in the sun or tabloids have got uh headlines that they've thought of that relate to stories that haven't happened yet yeah and someone had imagine if a magician came out as gay yeah i'd call him mind bender and they went derren brown's gay and someone in the office went yes yeah house fucking high fives all around yeah mind bender no no but you thought of that in the 70s no no but in mind bend let's use it no we can't now that that is really offensive

no no no no i thought of it years ago in the 70s, when people weren't as sort of politically correct. No, no, no, put Mindbender on! Put Mindbender on! Naomi Campbell's done a fashion show, Black Beauty! No, no, no, I thought of Black Beauty years ago! No, no, we're not putting Black Beauty on!

Yeah, that probably is what happens, isn't it? Yeah. So, but well done, Darren Brown, on your programme. Yeah. And so what did he do? Made people stick to the chairs? Apparently, he showed a subliminal film,

and then people can get up from their chairs. I'm sure that legally they can't do that. Yeah, probably not. I know someone who worked with Darren Brown, who praises him to the hilt. Well, I think Darren Brown's amazing. I think what he does is wicked. Yeah, I think he's very, very good.

Yeah. As showmanship, or however it's done, you are allowed to the hill. Well, I think Darren Brown's amazing. I think what he does is wicked. Yeah, I think he's very, very good. As showmanship, or however it's done, you are allowed to just cheat. Yeah, because he's a magician, and that is the point. Yeah, I mean, at no point... It's like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yeah. Saying, based on a true story. It's not, really.

No, but it makes it scarier. Yeah, but you can just lie about things like that. Yeah, yeah. Or, last time I was on the left, I'll tell you what, this really happened. Well, it didn't. Things like that might have happened somewhere. But you can just tell lies so Darren Brown

just tells lies yeah well he's good at it and it is fun lies no I've changed my mind alright nice you came down on the other side of the argument

halfway through that Darren Brown can you stop telling lies and just get on with writing the Da Vinci Code it's a different person right it's the Da Vinci Code it's a different person

angels and demons I watched that the other's a da vinci code in it there's a different person angels and demons I watched that the other night a man was on fire in it is it scary yeah even McGregor was on it and what else has been on Trainspotting

yeah Star Wars played over one Kenobi the one with Keith Allen dead with his knob out and Doctor Who in the loft. Do you remember that one that Ian McGregor done? When Doctor Who was in the loft and Keith Allen's had his knob out all dead.

Shall we finish this section now? Alright, bye. The Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by the Tiger Lilies, except the last one, which is performed by Frank Sidebottom. The Peacock and Gamble podcast is a big and dark production, hosted by Chortle.co.uk. If you spotted a deliberate mistake in this week's show, tell us on our Facebook page and you might win a prize. See you next week. Hey, yo, this is the mic test for the Peacock and Gamble podcast.

My name's Ray. On the mic, this is the way that I like to rap for you and your friends. I like the way that it ends and I like the beginning of it. And don't forget anyone can say it is shit. Go Ed. Yo, it's Ed. That is my name. All right, Ray.

I like your T-shirt. Ray, I like your t-shirt Hey, I like your beard as well And I like the way you do your rapping Hey Ed, I like your hair And I like your trousers that you wear I like your socks but I can't see them for your Wicked cool trainers that you tread on Hey, that's nice that you like my trainers i like yours as well you

have lots of pairs of them and when you do the talking i do a laugh plus you have writing on your hand from a gig i know i got some green trainers in me house but they're under the bed near a mouse i don't mean a mouse is really. I'm just saying it to be playful with me air. And I've got some white ones as well that I put on me feet. But tell you, at the moment, I've got black and red ones going down the street with me trainers on that I buy in the shop.

Tell you what, I don't need no crop of any other things. Ed, hey, I like your need no crop of any other things. Ed, hey, I like your rings. You ain't got none. Yeah, you've done rhyming. I've not been doing that because of my timing. But I like your house very much. You have DVDs of such and such. I don't know the names of them, just general things. But don't worry, I will get some rings.

If you look at them, down the spine of them, you things but don't worry I will get some rings if you look at them down the spine of them you will see the names there are some gems in there like Star Wars clerks and back to the future you can watch them I won't even charge you just have a look at Laurel and Hardy there's 21 discs and they're all in order just put them on the other in black and white but you will like it and laugh you might. No, I don't like Laurel and Hardy because I find it quite retardy. It's really old.

It smells of poo, and the only person who likes it is you. I like the other things that you've got, like Wanted and Comics and R2-D2. Even though I haven't even really seen Star Wars, because I think it's for fat hairy boars. Guess what?

The other day, I was clearing some stuff out the way. Because the people that own these apartments said we can't use that room for storage. So we got all the stuff inside. And one of the things that had really died from damp was an R2D2

telephone. And I felt really bad, to the bone. I thought, I don't really want to chuck it out, but I've got to. It is not working nice anymore. So I thought, I'll get a souvenir off it. I pulled off its head. Guess what happened?

Broke my finger while I was doing it. It really hurts and I'm not even messing. I'm glad this whole episode is going to be in rap. That is not crap. I think you'll find that we'll get famous, that we'll have some paps chasing us with photos and cameras too. What are you talking about? Yes, it's you, Ray and Ed, on the Peacock and Gamble podcast.

Ray and Ed on the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Ray and Ed on the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Go left, go right. Go left, go right. Go left, go right. Ray and Ed on the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Go left, go right. Ray and Ed on the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Now jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump.

Go Raji, it's your birthday.