The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Episode 35

Episode Date: September 22, 2019

"Episode 35" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 35 of 128.

Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Right, now we record the intro and then you can have a kiss. Can I have the long kiss then? Yeah, nice long one. Alright, thank you. Oh, it's recorded already? Oh shit, alright. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble, welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Who's this over here? I'm Ray Peacock, welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast as well.

Alright, thanks. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, nice to meet you. We started recording quite late again because we have been eating beef jerky. Yeah, we have, yeah. Yeah, last week's food of the week worked on us. Yeah, straight away, beef jerky, both of us, off the internet. We've both of us been online and ordered a shitload.

We've basically ordered beef jerky in bulk. And you ordered posh stuff. Who's yours one from? British Beef Beef BritishBeefJerky.co.uk Right, and mine is Wild West Beef Jerky. But it's peppered. It didn't say that on the advert. But it is peppered. And I've got

beef jerky nuggets. I wanted normal beef jerky really. But we're enjoying it to the point where we've had four bags already today. And it was only delivered about an hour ago and we've invented a brilliant new game we have and we thought we would share it with you straight away on the podcast normally the intro we just have a bit of mess about but this is such an important game that we want everyone to play it basically what you do right you get wild west beef jerky nuggets or just any beef jerky nuggets if you can't find wild west but wild west think, would be my jerky of choice.

It's perfect for it, I think. Yeah, so if anyone from Wild West Beef Jerky is listening, hey, come on, give us some of it. I want it. I want loads of it now. I'm a good percent hero. I'm going to come and rob it. What you do is you get a beef jerky nugget

and you pop it up your nostril. Right? Then you tilt your head back and you stick your tongue out and you basically flick the end of the beef jerky nugget until you can either suck it into your mouth or it drops off and you catch it in your mouth at the end. It's a lovely game, isn't it? It's a brilliant game as well. And it impresses ladies. Yeah. Because when they see you doing it, they think, ooh. Yeah, ooh. I bet they would be good at doing a kiss on me love button.

I'd be good at doing a kiss on my love button. Oh, maybe I'd put some beef jerky in my downstairs smile and they can... That'd be horrible. I would like that. I like beef jerky as it is. Yeah. I like downstairs smiles as they are. I like beef jerky. I like downstairs smile.

Not together. Fight! Not on the same... Not on the same plate. We've been told about doing that fight thing. They said we can't do it anymore legally. All right, then we're in. Ariel went mad about that, because when we did TV Burper, our podcast, he practically had me up against the wall. I know, you went mental, didn't you? I know. Welcome to the show. It's my new character. Pee-wee Herman.

It's called Pee-wee Herman. I've invented that character. Brilliant. And I've come up with my new programme. Right. Pee-wee's Playhouse. Right. And there is the theme.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Come in and put yourself up a chair, like Cherry! That's already out, someone's already done that. Yeah, in America. Oh, you want to do a remake? Not over here. For our American listeners, of course, that we make concessions to nowadays, Pee Wee's Playhouse wasn't on over here. No.

I only know about it because they imported the DVDs. Yeah. And I'm a big fan of Pee Wee Herman. But you can't say that's now your character. No, I can't, because Pee Wee's Playhouse has never been on in England. Right. Or in the UK, as far as I'm aware it's not. Right.

Right? It's massive in the States, or it was. Yeah. And it was on in the 80s. Yeah. Never on over here, but I have imported it. No, but you've not imported... I went on... You've imported the DVD which someone else has made.

No, DVDs. Right. Oh, does that make a difference? There's ten, right? And if there's... Two lots of... Famously, there's more than nine then you own the character. Two lots of five?

Yeah. That is called syndication. No, it's not. I have syndicated Pee Wee's Playhouse over here. In America. And now I've got them, DVDs. I can now make it. But if I'm the person at Channel 4 who bought Friends when it was syndicated, I don't

I can't say, oh, my character is Chandler. No, I know you can't. But that's what you're doing. No, I'm not. And not even properly because you've just bought some DVDs. You're not putting it on telly. I am. Yeah, you're telling. On BBC. No, you're not putting it on the BBC. You've not even looked around in this room. Right. I've changed it already. Look, there is Cherry over there, the big chair. Right. Right, now can you see the eyes on it? Yeah. Right, that is now a character, right? Yeah, but that's someone else's character.

No, I know that that over there looks like the box set of Phantasm in a silver ball, right? Right. But it's not, that is Globy. Right. Right, that is a globe, that's another character from Pee Wee's Playhouse. Yeah. And you are Miss Yvonne. You are the pretty lady, the prettiest lady in Puppetland who comes in every now and again.

Right, but you don't own these things because you bought the DVDs. And I am Pee Wee Herman and I'm also Cowboy Curtis as well. So that proves that I'm not racist. So do you like it or not? I prefer it in America. Have you ever seen it?

Yeah, I've seen it at your house. I love it. Yeah, I know you do. I do love it. You're obsessed with it which is why we're talking about it now. I'm absolutely obsessed with it. This week I'm obsessed with Beef Jerky and Pee Wee know you do. I do love it. You're obsessed with it, which is why we're talking about it now. I'm obviously obsessed with it. Yeah.

This week, I'm obsessed with beef jerky and Pee Wee's Playhouse. I just imagine you sitting in your house, in your pants, watching episode after episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse, eating beef jerky right in your face, and then rubbing Dairy Lee all over your eyes, and just going, oh, I'm having the best time. I'm having Dairy Lee. Do you know what? I think I am on the Atkins diet without knowing it. Because yesterday, all I ate was beef jerky and all I drank was water.

I mean, this morning, you had a bacon sandwich. Is that Atkins or not? No, it's not on the Atkins diet. You can't have the bread. You can't have the bread. Yeah, true. And you did have the bread. Tomato sauce?

Can I have that on Atkins or not? I think you probably can have tomato sauce on Atkins, yeah. I did have a bacon sandwich this morning, didn't I? Yeah. I wonder what other foods I eat and forget about them. I mean, I'm saying

all I had yesterday was beef jerky and water. But I'm thinking now, I think I might have had a sausage roll in the morning. I've got a vague memory of a sausage roll.

What is it about bacon and sausage that makes you forget you've eaten it? Maybe it is like baked stuff. Bacon's not baked just because it has the word in it. Right, all right. Bake on. Bake on.

You're baked, innit? It's not fried. You're not unhealthy. Bake on. I mean like pastries and bready things. Right. The unhealthy things. Yeah, maybe it's them that make me lose my memory.

I can't think what I was. I thought I was doing a good diet then. You thought you were on a diet, but then you realised you had a sausage roll on a bacon sandwich. Oh, no, I wasn't... Oh, I thought I was on a diet, but I'm not. I mean, that is pathetic, isn't it? I mean, I think one of the main things with a diet, right,

is keep in check of what you eat. Yeah. Almost certainly, and I've not done that. No, you've forgotten it. the fact that I mean I think one of the main things with a diet right is keeping check of what you eat yeah almost certainly and I've not I've not done that no you've forgotten it what I've done

I've had the healthy stuff and that's what you've remembered I've supplemented it with all the unhealthy stuff to fill me up got a slight problem with this section now why

we haven't got enough beef jerky. But as well as that, the problem is, is we're recording this on Monday. Yeah. The, what is it, the 7th or 8th? The 8th of April. March. March. And the problem we've got is, is that last week's podcast has only just come out.

It's just come out a few hours ago, hasn't it? Yeah. So, for fan of the week... We don't know who it is. No one's had time. I don't know if they have or not. I'm going to check now on the fan page on Facebook. Yeah.

Jessica or Ikea. Right, so look. No Jessicas. We haven't got fan of the week. Some people have tried to be it. George Clay said, pick me, pick me, pick me, and then said, you lovable fat idiot. Not at all, George Clay. In fact, I'm going to put you under kill

and then drop you on a flagstone floor. Let's have a look, see what he looks like, George Clay, and then let's make fun of him. Oh, look at me, I'm George Clay, I've got braces on. Oh, look at me, I think I'm trendy, I go on a sunbed. I've got a flat cap on, like an old man. Yeah. Oh, look at me, I'm George Clay. I've got a spot on my chin.

Yeah, George Clay. How do you like that, George, you big spotty chin thing? Do you want to pop that and then your old face will pop off? Yeah, so call us fat and we'll have a go back at you, mate. Yeah, slam you, mate. Right, so let's see who else there is. Chris Taylor said, me, me, me. Well, that's no good, is it?

Jim Sterling. I think you've been mentioned enough, Jim, and you're fan of the year. Yeah, you're fan of the year, Jim Sterling. David York has been banned enough Jim and you're fan of the year you're a fan of the year Jim Sterling David York has been banned by Ray for defending Ed's section

oh yeah you have David York said that he liked your amazing birth section well then I think he should be fan of the week

he's not being nothing Francis Jesus Thomas shotgun being fan of the week although Francis Jesus Thomas

said your section was overrated well she's not fan of the week then well she's a he so Mark Griffiths can't be asked

to enter. Murray James, I look like Jessica Rabbit. I mean, I don't know what these people are thinking. William Price, he's got a sister called Jessica. I challenged him on it and then he caved in and it clearly hadn't. And Darren Fish said it's true. I mean, Darren, end of

the day, you're this week's fish of the week. You are our top fish. Yeah, so don't be trying to get in. That's what we do need, is a top fish every week as well. No, we don't need a top fish every week. People with fish as their surname. Hey, tell you what, mate. I like this podcast. Do you like it or not? Yeah. Are you a fan of it? Yeah.

Right, we're the fans of the week. Oh, nice one, mate. Right, people with no gamble. And fish of the week, Darren. Yeah, Darren is fish of the week. And if you've got any fish-related name, please get in contact and we'll find out if you are top Fish of the Week. For instance, I know that I am friends with a family called the Haddocks. Okay, right. But I'm not sure they listen to it.

Well, if they do, then they can be Fish of the Week. Yeah. So, and that includes anyone called Rod. Yeah, yeah, Rod, Carve. Annette. Kipper. Shark. Dolphin.

All these things you can enter with. Yeah, if that is part of your name. If it is your name. And you'll be Top Fish of the Week. You'll be Top Fish of the Week. Sienna's made friends with Top Fish now. So next week, we need a Top Fish of the Week. And also, Fan of the Week. What are the names we've got for Fan of the Week. See, Anna's made friends with Top Fish now. So next week, we need a Top Fish of the Week, and also Fan of the Week.

What are the names we've got for Fan of the Week next week? Let's look on our friends now, and pick one at random. All right. Let's show up fan pages on Facebook for the fucking sham that they are. Yeah. Right, so the ones that are coming up,

Louise and Richard. If there's a Louise who's a fan of the podcast, let us know. I mean, one claims to be here. Yeah. So let us know you'd be Fan of the Week, and if there's a Richard, let us know you can be the man Fan of the podcast, let us know. I mean, one claims to be here. So let us know you'd be fan of the week. And if there's a Richard, let us know. You can be the man fan of the week.

Yeah, exactly. Louise and Richard for next week. Other bit of business we always do. The groups that Ray has joined on Facebook. Yeah. Become a fan of to make his goal of a million groups before 2011 come true. Can I just say you're not going to make a million by 2011

if you join like 10 a week. I'm going to have a late spurt. Right. I'm going to cane it in December. Right, here are the groups.

Alright, what fucking groups are you joining? Here are the groups I joined. Ray became a fan of that dance you do when you're putting on your skinny jeans.

Damn it, I like that dream. I'm going back to sleep. Is it just me, or is each year going by faster and faster? Late night texts. Having to rescue your friend from the grinding guy on the dance floor. Texting the person next to you, stuff you can't say out loud. Girls who drink pints.

Oh, you heard it from someone. Yes, because that always makes it true. No likey, no lighty. Ministry of burlesque. I will go slightly out of my way to step on a crunchy looking leaf. Most haunted. UFC Ultimate Fighting Championship, and the Twilight Saga.

So, they're my fans for this week. I think I'm becoming a really interesting person. You are. You've got a lovely sort of, a lovely smorgasbord of interests. And do you know what's good about these groups? What?

I'm showing off my sense of humour. You are very much so. Yeah. I'm showing other people that I'm sure I have a serious side, UFC fighting, but there's also a fun side of me, like when I have a dream and I want to go back to sleep. Yeah, or no likey no likey, which is of course one of Paddy McGinnis' catchphrases. Well, that's what it is. And when I joined it, I was thinking I've absolutely got to remember to leave that group

as soon as the podcast is done. In fact fuck it I'll do it now. Leave it right now. While I'm on it I'm leaving this second. How many members

does it have by the way? It has got Jesus 574,472 fans. I'm going to move out of this country. I'm putting a message up. What are you putting?

There you go. You're all fucking idiots. Right. And now leave the group. Time for our award winning section. Ray says a food. What award has it won? That you have forgot all about.

And then when I say it, or a drink, you will start wanting it and give you a craving for it. And that is the joke. What award has it won? It has won an award. What award? I can't talk about it. Right, okay. It's a secret. It has won an award. What award? I can't talk about it. Right, okay. It's a secret.

It has won an award. Yes, it has actually. No, it's not. It has won an award. What is it then? Michelin star. But I'm meant to be keeping it a secret. Right.

And a Sony gold. And I'm meant to be keeping that a secret. When are we going to win a Sony for this? When we enter the Sonys. Alright, well let's do that then. This is the thing. What people think. They go,

oh, how come you haven't won a Sony? It costs £100 to fucking enter. Right, well let's do that then. This is the thing what people think. They go, oh, how come you haven't won a Sony? How come you said, because it costs £100 to fucking enter. Right, well let's not bother then. I know. We can either enter the Sonys, right? Yeah, right.

Or £100 on beef jerky. Right, I knew exactly what you were going to say. How depressing is that? That I knew exactly what you wanted to spend £100 on. Yeah, well did you know that this week's food

that I say in... Is it beef jerky again? It's beef jerky again, yeah. It is beef jerky. No, it's not. All right, pickled egg. Pickled egg. Yeah, caught you by surprise, didn't I?

You were thinking about beef jerky, then I went, pickled egg again. Oh, I bloody love a pickled egg. Get some at the supermarket in a jar and buy the sauces. Pickled egg. Oh, I'm going to the chippy. What do you want from the chippy? Oh, fish and chips, please. Shall I get you a pickled egg as well? Oh, I'm going to the chippy. What do you want from the chippy? Oh, fish and chips, please. Shall I get you a pickled egg as well?

Oh, yes. And then you go, you're at the chippy and you're not even thinking about pickled egg and you get your chips and gravy and you see the pickled egg on the side and you go, oh, that was pickled egg and all. And you put it either in a polystyrene cup

or you put it in a bag and you eat it. You eat it straight away in the car. Pickled egg. Thanks, Mum! I'll tell you who I am pissed off with. Who? Lorenzo Pac-Man.

Oh, Lorenzo Pac-Man. Him who sent me that game last week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sent me a PlayStation 3 game, Rounders. That was nice of him. I've literally not got a clue how to play it. I don't know the first... I sat for two hours playing it. Right.

Didn't hit one ball. Right. For two hours. Right. Did you not check Destructions? Yeah, Destructions just don't tell you nothing. Right. It's all gobbledygook. Just assumes you know how to play Rounders. It's baseball, for a start. Right, well it assumes you know how to play baseball. Yeah, I think rightly assumes that someone who bought or is using a baseball game has a vague interest in baseball.

Yeah, that doesn't take into account that somebody might like a podcast and think, I'm going to send them this game. Right. Even though they know nothing about it. How often do you think that happens, though? Well, I'm hoping it will happen more often. Right. With better games, though. All right, then.

Not that game. It was rubbish. All right, well, I'm getting a PS3 probably this week. Well, you can have the baseball game, then. No, I want getting a PS3 probably this week well you can have the baseball game no hang on I want to take it back I don't think it was rubbish

I just don't understand it it's all oh bunt it I don't know what you're on about stick it up your jumper and have a daffodil yeah exactly

it's all absolute nonsense third base line it's all it's like that Paradise by the Dashboard light that's all I know about baseball what it it's like that Paradise by the Dashboard Light that's all I know about baseball

what? it's the commentary from Paradise by the Dashboard Light yeah the meatloaf song yeah I know that one okay here we go we've got a real pressure

going here two down nobody on no score bottom of the ninth there's the wind-up and there it is a line shot at the middle

look at him go this boy can really fly he's running first and really turning it on now he's not letting up at all he's going to try for second the ball is bobbing out in the centre and here comes the throw on all. He's going to try for second. The ball is bobbing out in the centre

and here comes the throw on Waterford. He's going to slide and head first. Here he comes. He's out. No wait. Safe.

Safe back to second base. This kid really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the plate. Here's the pitch. He's going on. Waterjump he's got. He's trying for third.

Here's the throw. It's in the dirt. Safe at third. Holy cow. Stolen base. Taking a pretty big lead out there. I was staring at him

trying to pick him off. Pitch glance over. Winds up. It's bunning. Bunning down the third base line. As soon as I squeeze on. Here he comes.

Squeeze plate's going to be close. Here's the throw. Here's the suicide squeeze is on. Here he comes, squeeze plate's going to be close. Here's the throw, here's the play at the plate. Holy cow, I think he's going to make it. That's where you say stop right there. Oh. Stop right there.

Dun, dun, dun. It's going to be all right now. Dun, dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, Before you go, do you love me? Do you love me forever? Do you need me? Do you need me? Do you need me do you need me

take me to the for the rest of my life take me away, make me you ever got another now, before you go any further, do you love me we'll love you forever dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

let me sleep on it baby baby let me sleep on it let me sleep on it Baby, baby, let me sleep on it Let me sleep on it I'll give you an answer in the morning Let me sleep on it Baby, baby, let me sleep on it Let me sleep on it I'll give you an answer in the morning

Let me sleep on it Baby, baby, let me sleep morning. Let me sleep on it. Baby, baby, let me sleep on it. Let me sleep on it. I'll give you an answer in the morning. I don't know right now. Do you love me? Do you love me forever? Do you need me?

Do you ever leave me? Do you ever leave me? And before the rest of my life, will you take me away Will you make me your wife I can't do it right now Before you go any further Do you love me

Will you love me forever Let me sleep on it Will you love me forever Let me sleep on it Will you love me forever I couldn't take it any longer. Lord, I was crazy. And then the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave. Started swearing to

my God and on my mother's grave. I would love you to the end of time. I swore I would love you to the end of time. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So now I'm waiting for the end of time. To hurry up and arrive. Cause if I go and spend another minute with you,

I don't feel like I could really survive. I've never break my promise. I forget my vows. But God only knows what I can do right now. I'm praying for the end of time. It's all that I can do. Praying for the end of time. So I can end my time with you.

Long ago when it was far away And it was so much better than it is today And it was long ago when it was far away It never felt so good, it never felt so right And we're going like the metal on the edge of our knife And it was long ago when it was far away And it was so much. It never felt so right. And we're going like the metal. And the edge of a nerve.

It was far away. And it was so much better than it is today. So see what you cause, Lorenzo. Sending a bloody game I don't know how to play. And now me and I are falling out. I'm praying for the end of time. Now it's time for the genuine award-winning section. What award has it won?

The Mothercare Award for bringing attention to amazing births. Why would Mothercare care about that? Anything to do with births they like. It's like, oh, you've had a baby? Well, come Mothercare. That's amazing, you've had a baby. Come and get one of our amazing cots. Do Mothercare sell clothes that'll fit an half-human, half-dog?

They do now, yeah. Do they, yeah? Yeah'll fit an half-human, half-dog? They do now, yeah. Do they, yeah? Yeah, every time a weird baby is born, then they will make a thing of it. Oh, yeah, Mothercare are known for their buffalo baby groves, aren't they? Well, they wouldn't benefit from it, from giving you an award. Right, well, they have.

They've given me one. Ask them about it. Speak to them about it. You've sat at home and you've drawn it yourself. I've not drawn it myself. Yeah, you have. It's a statuette. All right, well, you've made that and coloured it in with felt. It's gold. I don't think I know what you've done.

You've got a Postman Park bubble bath in the shape of Postman Park. You've painted it gold and you've drawn a Mothercare logo on it. No, I've not. And presented it to yourself in front of a mirror in the bathroom. I'll tell you what it is. And, I've not. And presented it to yourself in front of a mirror in the bathroom. I'll tell you what it is. And then done an interview.

It's a golden pram with a silver baby standing up in it. Bollocks. With big muscles. Bollocks. With big muscles and at the bottom it says

Ed's Award for Services to Amazing Births from Mothercare. Bollocks. No, no. It's not bollocks. Bollocks, mate. No, it's not bollocks.

Bollocks. I'm not talking to you, Dan. I'm going to react to it all. Right. Bollocks, mate. No, it's not bollocks. Bollocks. I'm not talking to you, Dan. I'm going to react to it all. Right. Bollocks. Right. All right, do you want to hear my amazing birth for this week?

Yeah, go on. I've done a bit of research. No, please don't say bollocks to everyone. Bollocks, I don't believe you. All right, please don't say bollocks to everyone. Bollocks are a bit like a pickled egg. Yeah, we're not on your section anymore. All right.

I've never even had a pickled egg. Oh, you'd like it. No, I wouldn't. Oh, you would. I do like pickled things. Then you would like a pickled egg. I like a pickled gherkin. Oh've never even had a pickled egg. Oh, you'd like it. No, I wouldn't. Oh, you would. I do like pickled things. Then you would like a pickled egg. I like a pickled gherkin. Oh, you'd like a pickled egg.

I like pickled beetroot. You'd love a pickled egg. Is it runny in the middle? No. Hard in the middle. Oh, boiled egg, pickled egg. Oh, you'd love it. Get it now.

You make a burp after. Will it? But you'll enjoy the burps. Enjoy the taste of it. Have a pickled egg. Alright. My turn. Stop trying to distract me, my turn. Pickled egg. Stop trying to distract me from my thing.

Pickled egg. No, it's not your bit anymore. Pickled onion? They're too hard for me mum. Oh, I have a pickled egg instead. I prefer that. Well, I've done a bit of research this week on the internet. I mean, that's your first mistake, isn't it?

No. You're getting this off the internet. Oh, where am I going to go? The library? Are all the records like someone in an old detective film? I'm sorry, I'm looking for an amazing birth, not the Zodiac Killer. I don't know why you can't do that, though. I want to get one of those big screens that zoom in on the paper.

Where do you live? Where do you live? London. I live in London. Whereabouts in London? It's like Wimbledon area. Right, is there a records office there? I don't know, do I?

Why don't you find out? Because I'm not Dick Tracy. Well, get a Yellow Pages. Right. Get on the records office. I would like this section. Well, why don't you get a Yellow Pages to stand on it to kiss a girl at Christmas?

I don't know why. Every week, just somewhere in the podcast every week, you just slip in a really snidey... Finger. ...nasty little bit, don't you? Right. Eh? I thought that was a good bit. I don't nasty little bit, don't you? Right. Eh?

I thought that was a good bit. I don't know why you're always making fun of me. I'm sorry. Make fun of me for being fat. Make fun of me for being short. I tell you why I think it is. Oh, last week you did. I tell you why I think it is.

Why? That people are horrible to each other in this world. Because of the devil. And I've done some research and I've found out when the devil was born recently. Right. I mean, are you about to regale the tale of Hellboy? No, I'm not. No, seriously. devil and I've done some research and I found out when the devil was born recently. Right. I mean, are you about to regale the tale of Hellboy? No, I'm not. No, seriously. But it is a bit like Hellboy. Right. But it is Hellgirl. Right, okay. Right. A couple adopted a girl

in Russia. She had a hoof and a horn. That is the devil. A hoof and a horn first in a month. Yeah. It's something like that, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had a hoof and a horn. Yeah. Did she grow this hoof and horn, or did she have them when... I think she had it when... I'm not sure.

Maybe when they went to a doctor. Yeah. They went, oh, we'd like to look at this little girl. Yeah. She seems to be wearing a sock and a hat. Could we take those off and just see if everything's all right? And they went, no, no. No, it's fine.

Anyway, here's your receipt. Bought as seen. Yeah, exactly. And then they got her home and they went, shit, we've bought the fine. Anyway, here's your receipt, bought as seen. Yeah, exactly. And then they got her home and they went, shit, we've bought the devil. I found the article about it. American family adopts defective Russian girl born with one hoof and one horn. Defective? So she's defective now, is she?

Yeah, she's a bad product. And is that photo there, is that the girl in question? Yeah. I mean, they've rather cleverly, they've not shown either a hand. I mean, the hoof certainly isn't visible. Yeah. And the horn isn't visible there. They probably, I mean, well, certainly isn't visible. Yeah. And the horn isn't visible there. They probably, I mean,

well, I was just amazed that, have you seen the film The Omen? I have, yeah. Yeah, he's the devil, isn't he? Spawn of the devil, yeah. Yeah, and I think that is the girl one. Right, so she's got 666, so we're about a person.

No, I'm not, I think the hoof and the horn is proof enough. Well, that's the sign of the beach. You've got to have 666. Well, I'm not going to be the one going checking. I say it's the sign of the beach, it's the sign of the beast. It's the sound of the beast. The sound of the beach is all sand up your knickers.

So I just think it is amazing that there is a girl being born with a hoof and a horn. I mean, yeah, no, the thing is, right, Ed? I think maybe she was born on a farm and some of the spawn or sperm of a bull went up. I mean, this is your section, right? So every week you're in charge of making this section good. Yeah. Now, I don't know why you thought coming to my house

and just keep saying I think it is amazing that a girl has got an oaf in her horn. I mean, you've said it about ten times already and that's literally all you've got to offer.

But do you think that she's a devil? I don't think it's real. I think it's real. That's perfectly possible that a girl could have an oaf in her horn. Yeah, it's possible.

Yeah. But that doesn't mean she's the devil. The thing is, right, this is your big section that we lead up to every week. Yeah. And even you look bored with it. You're sat there. Even you look like you don't want to do it.

I just caught myself this week when I was Googling girl with hooves. Yeah. I just thought, it's not a job, this, is it? Yeah, what's the point of this as a life? I just sort of want to work in admin for a bit. Yeah, you probably should do that. I think you'd probably be better suited to that.

I would like to hear a clacking up a path, though. Well, you'll have to go to Russia, won't you? No, American family. Alright, so where's she living now? America, I guess.

What, all of it? I didn't read all the way through, I was a bit shocked by the hint. This is the problem, and this is why this section is rubbish, because you've got as far

as they've adopted a girl with an oof and an horn. Right, now, well, you've spinned through the rest of it, because there a hoof and an horn. Right, now will you spin through the rest of it because there are some bits of it. No, why? You can't. No, you can't come here. Yeah, but that's it.

The hoof and the horn is enough for me. You can't put an article up on my computer for your stupid section and then say to me, I'll just spin through the rest of it, find some more stuff in there about it. But the hoof and the horn is enough for me. There was something about blood I can't be arsed. You're not bothered by the hoof and the horn, really.

I'm not bothered by any section. So read the rest of the article and maybe you'll find something. No, why should I read it? Because I'm fine with it. I'm happy with the hoof and the horn. And everyone else will be. All the fans of EAB will love this. They'll be bloody loving this hoof and the horn.

That's not an amazing birth. I'm sorry. She was born with a hoof and a horn. That's not an amazing birth. Well, I'm sorry, she was born with a hoof and a horn. What's amazing about that? So, if a girl, if a woman with a hoof and a horn came out your family, you'd be like, holy fuck. Yeah, well, alright then, why mention they're being adopted? Why mention that? Well, because that's when... All you had to say then...

That's when she came out in the press. All you had to say was, a girl has been born with a hoof and a horn, the end. Yeah, but then you'd be going, ooh, where was she born? What's her mum's name? And I don't know that, because all I know is that she was adopted by an American family, came to America, and then she's a big hit in America. Which means she's a big hit. She's broken America. What, she'll let them in?

What's she been on? There hasn't been a Russian woman this successful in America since Tattoo. Right, we've got American listeners. Can somebody tell us about the hoof and horn woman who's taking America by storm, please? Girl, girl. Hey, don't let that little girl in a china shop. Why? Bull in a china shop.

She's not a bull, though, is she? Half bull. Right. Don't let her in half a china shop. We've now gone... Which do you want it to be? Devil is more amazing, isn't it? Which do you want?

It's up to you. Devil. Right, well, you can't be a china shop joke. Right, well, the devil would be a bit of a nuisance in a china shop as well. Yeah, but that's up to you. Devil. Right. You can't be a china shop joke. Right. Well, the devil would be a bit of a bit of a nuisance in a china shop as well. Yeah, but that's not the saying. So still don't let her in a china shop because the devil would kick up a right rockers in a china shop. That's not the saying though, is it? You don't say to clumsy people

oh, you're like Beelzebub in a china shop. Right. Nurses at the orphanage said that the girl was the purest soul of all babies who ever lived there. The baby was named Dasher. Right. Now, to my knowledge, that's one of Father Christmas's reindeer, isn't it? I didn't read that bit. This section that was already falling off.

That has fallen off. Mate, people love it. If everyone could, if everyone who loves it could put a thing on the Facebook page saying, I love EAB and I want it to carry on. Look at the disdain you're treating your fans with, though. I'm not, I'm saying... No, you are. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry if I think the public should be hearing about when the devil is born in Russia.

It's not that. Or an Iranian woman has a frog baby. You didn't get beyond the headline. You didn't even bother reading it. That's not disdain, no. Here's what Ed's Amazing Births was this week. Hello, I'm Ed, it's my Amazing Births. It's an article I found, read it yourself.

Read it yourself, I can't be bothered. It's about a devil in Russia or something like that. Right, well, a devil was born in Russia, and if you don't care about that, then you've got no respect for news. You bang on about the miners for about 20 years, and then as soon as the devil's born, you don't give a shit.

Unbelievable, you've got your priorities all to cock. Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by the Tiger Lilies except for the last one, which is performed by Frank Sidebottom. The Peacock and Gamble podcast

is a ready production hosted by Chortle.co.uk See you next week. Shut up. Shut up. Tell him. No. You're the one who...

And push me in the face. No, you grabbed my hand and said... You grabbed my hand and said, stop hitting yourself. And then I did the same. It didn you grabbed my hand and said, you grabbed my hand and said, stop hitting yourself. And then I did the same. It didn't even touch you. And you started crying. You shut up.

You pushed me in the face. No, you shut up. You're a prick. You're a baby. You're a big prick. I give my dad's blood. You're a big fuck baby. You're a big prick.

And your dad left the house. Your dad left the house and ran off with a dolly bird Good for you Because he didn't love you Stop hitting yourself You stupid wally You stupid

I can't believe you did that You have ruined a podcast for everybody. You have made the podcast rubbish. And then that is... You've done amazing books and it was rubbish. And now this is the end of the podcast. And this is what people will be left with. Because you're no good at it.

I get all the gigs and you don't hardly do any. Because you're a book. Nobody wants to watch you on the stage because you're not naughty. Your dad will run away. So I might, whenever you go on this stage and do a company, you need to run away as well like your dad. And then do your mum act as I don for a bit. I think it is bleeding.