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Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Podcast.
In the summertime when the sun is out
And it comes in the sky and makes you all hot
And shines in your eyes
Put your sunglasses on and you'll be alright
Put the roof down on the car if
you want, or it might be too hot for that. Yes, welcome to the Peacock and Gobble podcast
summertime special. Hooray! That's right. Live! I think we've done that before, you
know. Yeah, we have. We've done a roadshow, definitely. Yeah, pretty sure we've done that.
Let's do it again. Yeah. Hey, welcome to the Peacock and Gobble summertime special. The
sun is out. That's right. All you people listening in America and that, or Greece,
or wherever you all are,
I'm Ray Peacock.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
I'll tell you what.
After 65 episodes,
we've still not got the hello right, have we?
We can't get it now.
Do it now.
Hello, I'm Ed Gamble.
Oh, shit.
That's right.
That is Ed Gamble.
Sorry if I'm speaking over you then.
Sorry.
And we are here in the summer.
All you people in the abroad and you all think,
oh, we have all the nice weather.
Well, we have got all the boiling, stupid hot weather here at the moment in the UK.
Not right for the fat man.
It's not.
People go on about it, don't they?
Yeah, they go on about, oh, what nice weather.
The people they're not thinking about are the fat people who've had too much dinner.
Yeah, Ian McGaskill's on the telly going,
oh, it's a lovely good day coming up.
That's a good impression.
Yeah, thanks, mate.
Or Michael Fish goes,
oh, it is a lovely day coming up.
Does he?
Don't worry,
it won't be an hurricane
like you done that time.
Yeah, I remember that
when he lied.
Yeah, false sense of security.
Yeah.
And before you knew it,
ran out of a low
and I was in hospital.
Yeah.
Had all his head split open by a wood. Yeah,
but I think it made him a better performer.
Made him cross-eyed, didn't it? Yeah. Or was he cross-eyed already?
I don't know. I think he was cross-eyed already, you know.
Was it, he was, wasn't cross-eyed and
a bit of wood made him cross-eyed, or he was cross-eyed
and a bit of wood knocked it right again?
It gave him a good old, big old scar through his head.
Yeah. He had that, and he was, I think
it actually slowed him down as a performer, as I recall.
I once saw him at the Chester Gateway Theatre in Elsie and Norm's Macbeth. Yeah. Very, very strong. Yeah. It had that. And he was, I think it actually slowed him down as a performer, as I recall. I once saw him at the Chester Gateway Theatre
in Elsie and Norm's Macbeth.
Yeah.
Very, very strong.
Yeah.
It's like Gordon Kaye at the moment.
Very strong.
He's a British actor, Gordon Kaye.
He was hurt in an hurricane.
Yeah.
So all you people in America,
you're all giving it.
Yeah, all that.
Look at our weather.
We have got, right,
we have got niche references
about Alo Alo.
Yeah.
And we have got the sort of weather
where you put a lolly up your shorts. Yeah they're giving it all oh hurricane katrina that was horrible
think about kent who died on the telly who died off the telly in hurricane katrina yeah good point
probably hardly anyone yeah and we and we nearly had one yeah we nearly had one gordon k his eyes
went wonky yeah i can definitely say that that wasn't a good moaning for him.
That day when that wood went through his car window.
That wasn't a good moaning, was it not?
And he didn't look properly at Madonna with the big boobies.
Oh, you could say that he made a big boobie driving...
Oh, I should have...
He made a big boobie driving down that road.
Yeah.
Listen carefully.
I'll have to say this twice.
Now your head's all fucked up.
Oh.
Welcome to the show.
Stupid beginning that.
Yeah, very stupid.
None of our fans know Gordon Kay is.
No, but we know and that's the secret.
They don't know about Hello Hello.
No.
We played the music for Hello Hello, didn't we, at the live show?
Nothing. Nothing. Didn't get anything. They didn't even know what it was. Yeah. know about Hello Hello? No. We played the music for Hello Hello, didn't we, at the live show? Nothing.
Nothing.
Didn't get anything.
They didn't even know what it was.
Yeah.
I love Hello Hello, me.
I know you do.
I've just noticed you've got a David Bowie t-shirt on.
Yeah.
Why's that?
Bought it when I went to see him in a concert.
You saw David Bowie in a concert?
Yeah.
What was he doing?
Singing?
Comedy?
What was he doing?
Singing.
Singing his songs?
Singing the songs that he does.
He's in Labyrinth.
I watched Labyrinth last night.
I know.
Weirdly.
I know.
My microphone is resting on Labyrinth.
Blu-ray of Labyrinth.
Starring David Bowie
and Billy Connolly
it's a nice shirt
I don't like
tall shirts
well I think
it's a nice design
though it's not
too horrifically
like with a big
logo on it
or anything
yeah but it's a bit
you've got David Bowie's
face on your
well sort of
like yeah
not sort of
that is his face
yeah I know
that's what his eyes
are really like
that's not sort of
like David Bowie
yeah and it's like
my friend's dog, Patch.
He's got eyes like that as well.
Patch?
Yeah.
Why'd you call him that?
Because he's got eyes like that.
Yeah, because he's got eyes like that.
Anyway, you can't insult any of my stuff.
Oh, I beg your pardon.
Can I not?
Oh, that is the rule, is it now?
You're not allowed to insult any of my stuff.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The podcast now has rules.
Oh, you can't insult my stuff.
Oh, you can't mention Down Syndrome.
Oh, rules, rules, rules.
Right.
Because, right, you're a man.
You're a brilliant bloke. Thank you. Thank you very much. You work very hard. I just have a little, I'll have a sip rules, rules, rules. Right, because, right, you're a man, you're a brilliant bloke.
Thank you.
You work very hard.
I'll just have a little, I'll have a sip of my beer, mate.
It's two o'clock in the afternoon, you're drinking lager.
Half two.
Yeah, half two now.
It's that Budweiser one with no bubbles in it.
Half two now, because we had to do our traditional warm-up to the podcast of looking for Muppets
figures on eBay.
Went for our little traditional day trip out as well, didn't we?
Yeah, get you a new tyre.
Get a tyre.
Hey, do you know what?
They want me 305 quid
off me
a quick fit for three tyres
right
two of them were just
borderline so I've left them
yeah
I had one on the back
88 quid
so I don't know how
they came up with that
amount
yeah I don't know why
you've only got one
on the back
it's a reverse reliant
there you go
finally you've all
wondered what my car is
it's a reverse reliant
that's what I've got
it is
bright yellow as well
isn't it
it's lovely
yeah it's beautiful
yeah
it picks up girls yeah I've got it is bright yellow as well isn't it it's lovely yeah it's beautiful it picks up girls
yeah
I've got those
hooks onto them
kind of spiked tyres
which you knock them over
then reverse back over
the bit
picks them up
and they're fucked
by the time you get there
just ruined
it's more about
not leaving a mess behind
it's like a litter stick
yeah
anyway
the reason
you can't insult my stuff mate
why are you doing a threatening mate?
Mate.
What, mate?
It's because you've always been a great bloke.
Thank you very much.
And you work very hard for all your nice things.
Yeah, I know.
But recently, I've noticed you have been like an horrible little beggar.
Begging.
Horrible beggar.
Have I...
No, hang on.
Can you say beggar these days?
Have I...
Yeah, somebody begs.
Have I begged or have I...
You've come...
Cut tans, right?
No, that's not true. Oh, oh, please get me a model of a pig, everybody. That's not at
all what I've been doing. Yeah, it was. It was, oh, get me a model of a pig, get me a
model of a pig. Oh, please give me a pig in my little hands, in my little dirty-faced
hands. No, I didn't beg at all. You did. What? What I said, what? You're like a little orphan,
like a little... Oh, hello, sir. I told them to. Hello, sir.
I'm only missing two pigs.
Please, can I have a pig, sir,
in my little bucket?
That's not what I said at all.
I've got a bleeding nose. I think I've got consumption.
I've got to go die in the snow.
Unless I had a lovely little pig from a shelf.
I didn't see that.
Horrible little Victorian orphan.
A guilt tripton.
A guilt tripton.
And out of all our listeners, one fell for it.
Yeah, well that's me.
Only one.
I am so shocked that someone fell for it.
Andrew Rowlands or Rowlands.
Rowlands, Rowlands, what do you reckon?
I don't know.
R-O-W.
Rowlands I'd go with.
Rowland would be R-O-L.
Rowland I'd go with.
Right.
Andrew Rowland, off America.
Right.
My best friend.
Your best friend, is he? He's my best friend. He got me the Link hogfrog go with. Right. Andrew Rowland, off America. Right. My best friend. Your best friend, is he?
He's my best friend.
He got me the Link hogfrog.
Yeah.
Right.
No one bothered getting me
the Julius Strange Pork.
No.
No.
People are going,
oh, we can't afford it.
Oh, we can't afford it.
Right.
Well, then you can't listen
to the podcast.
Yes, they can.
No.
No, you can't.
Of course they can.
No.
I want a better clientele listener.
No, you can't.
I don't want paupers
listening to this podcast.
Then we've got to make this,
you've got to make the podcast, you've got to pay for it then. All right then. No. Right, you've got to pay for it. No. No, you can't. I know a pauper's listening to this podcast. Then we've got to make this... You've got to make the podcast.
You've got to pay for it, then.
All right, then.
No.
Right, you've got to pay for it.
No.
No, you have.
Five pounds an episode, it is.
Because someone's bought you...
Someone's been idiotic enough to buy you a pig.
Don't you call my mate an idiot?
He's a fucking idiot.
No, he's not.
No, he's not, actually.
He is.
No, he's not.
Right.
Do you want to know something about him, right?
Right.
It's from America, right?
Yeah.
He is a Vietnam hero.
No, he's not. Yeah, he is. No, he's not. I've seen a picture of him. He's about 11. He's from America, right? Yeah. He is a Vietnam hero. No, he's not.
Yeah, he is.
No, he's not.
I've seen a picture of him.
He's about 11.
He's not about 11.
He's a man.
So you've clearly not seen a picture of him.
I have seen a picture of him in your wallet.
Unless that's not him, you weirdo.
That's not him.
That's my son that I don't speak about.
No, Andrew, right?
And he's not even American, right?
He's a Southern man, right?
But he's a Vietnam hero.
He's not.
I'll tell you how I first met him.
I was a reporter.
There you are.
Remember when I was a reporter?
No.
In Metropolis?
No.
And remember that day when I went in that helicopter
and it got stuck on the top of that building
and I was hanging out with it?
And who should fly up?
Yeah.
Andrew.
Andrew.
Andrew Rylands.
I remember that, yeah.
Come and get hold of it.
We had a little funny moment, actually.
We had a little funny moment where he got hold of me
and he went, I've got you.
And I went, you've got me?
Who's got you?
It's a good moment.
I had a laugh.
It was one of the best bits of the film.
Right.
So he's my absolute best friend.
The thing is, right,
Andrew and other people
have bought you things in the past.
Mainly you.
They've bought you things
because you're the one
who goes on about it.
That's because I know
how to work a crowd.
No, no, because you're like...
That's what you're like. Right, stop. No, listen. No, no, because you're like, that's what you're like.
Right, stop, stop.
No, no,
stop saying that.
No, no,
listen to me.
No, you're disrespecting Andrew.
You're disrespecting Andrew
because Andrew
hasn't done that.
What Andrew has done
is he's gone,
right, okay,
I'm a guy,
I listen to this podcast,
I don't pay anything for it.
Do you know what?
I'm just a lovely,
I'm just a really nice gay guy.
He's not gay
because in his picture,
I don't think he's gay.
He might be gay
and if he is gay, that's fine. Yeah. And in his picture, I don't think he's gay. He might be gay and if he is gay, that's fine.
Yeah.
But in his picture, he's cuddling a lady, a beautiful lady.
He's done well.
He's got a beautiful wife.
Of course he's got a beautiful wife.
He's done well.
Are you saying he's ugly?
No, I'm saying he's done well.
Of course he's done well because he's a nice man.
Are you saying he's ugly?
Because he's thoughtful.
Not like all these ones who keep going about,
I'm getting money.
Right, listen.
Right, we're not talking about pigs anymore.
That's it.
No more talk of pigs. I don't have to talk about pigs. No more talk about moppers. I've got them now. You've got both of them, have you Right, we're not talking about pigs anymore. That's it. No more talk of pigs.
I don't have to talk about pigs.
No more talking about my pigs.
I've got them now.
You've got both of them, have you?
I've sorted the other one out myself.
Okay, so no more talk about it.
I'm not telling them because I've bought it.
Because people are buying you presents to say,
thank you for the podcast,
or thank you for all the free stuff and that.
Yeah.
Thank you for releasing all these podcasts.
Yeah.
But soon the podcast will just be you asking for free stuff.
Right.
So they will be going, thank you for asking.
I want Animal on his drum kit. Right, well, you can't have it be going, thank you for asking. I want Animal on his drum kit.
Right, well, you can't have it anyway.
That's what I want.
I want Animal on a drum kit.
Right.
150 quid.
Mate, shut up.
I want it.
No, you don't mention Muppets again on this podcast.
What do you mean, don't mention Muppets again?
You don't mention Muppets again.
All right, Hitler.
Right, here's what I want.
Because, basically, I don't think I want anything from you people.
You don't.
You're posh.
Right.
You don't need anything.
You're not like me, working class.
I had to work my way up and ask for things.
And now you live in Robin Williams' house in toys.
Yeah, do you know how hard it was to get to this point?
Yeah.
Do you know when I was your age?
Working for Wetherspoons.
Going to bar at Wetherspoons.
14 hour days.
Yeah, fine.
I was on 170 quid a week.
All right.
Yeah? So look, I built this empire, mate. I built it up. 14 hour days yeah fine I was on 170 quid a week alright yeah so look
I built this empire mate
I built it up
and you're sat there
going
oh you can't ask
for one pig
oh you can't ask
for that
that's just begging
I'm not begging
I'm just saying
if you want to help
because I sometimes
you want to help
I'll be honest with you
I think I've got a problem
right
here's what I want
and I think if other people
buy it
it won't be as bad.
Mate, listen.
I think I'm addicted to the Muppets.
I think I have a Muppet head.
I think I've got a Muppet problem.
I had it with Star Wars Lego for a bit.
And I think I got over that by getting all of it.
I don't think I'll ever be happy unless
I have everything to do with the Muppets.
I don't think I'm ever going to be
happy unless I am Kermit!
I'm going to have
an operation!
To get my face all green!
I'm going to get my face green and. Oh, right. I'm going to get my face green
and my eyes put on the top of my head.
And it's going to be like this.
Hey-ho, go be the frog.
That's a rubbish impression.
And then I'm going to have my voice changed as well.
And then I will do it perfect.
Right.
Can I get a Muppet car?
No.
Please, can somebody buy me a Muppet car?
Muppets are banned now.
A car with paintings of the Muppets all over it.
You're not allowed any more Muppets.
You are a shit.
No, I'm not.
You're not allowed any more Muppets.
Yes, you are.
What do you want for your toys?
Right, I don't want toys, mate.
Ask for Muppets.
But basically, I'm going to do it like it...
Ed, Ed, Ed. Ed, we are mates. I'm not going to ask for Muppets. Ask the people for Muppets. But basically, I'm going to do it like it's... Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, we
are mates.
I'm not going to
ask for Muppets.
Ask the people for
Muppets.
No, no, it's not
just me going on
about it all the
time.
You've got the
thing off Matt's
Warren.
No, I'm going to
get some things
together, right, and
this will be for all
of us, alright?
Okay.
Right, if Banksy
is listening, I'd
like him to do a
drawing of me in
one of his political
drawings on a wall,
like me playing
poker with a
traditional red
Indian.
Alright, nice.
That would work
wouldn't it?
Banksy could get
that for red.
We could chip
that off the wall
and sell it.
Also, I do want
to commission
there must be
some good painters
out there.
James Hans,
that's my favourite
painter at the moment.
Does he listen?
I don't know if
he listens or not
but he does
all Muppet paintings.
Oh, you fucking
twice.
Honestly, it's all
Jim Henson stuff but they're beautiful. Right, well if he listens or not, but he does like all Muppet paintings. Oh, you fucking twat. Honestly, it's all Jim Henson stuff, but
they're beautiful. Right, well, if he listens,
I'd like to... He done Beaker as the
scream. Right, I'd like to commission a
painting of me and Ray and Freddy
Krueger, right, and we are in a lovely
garden. Oh, that's alright, yeah. Me, you and
Freddy Krueger having the best day out ever, right?
And I want loads of pogs.
Like, shit loads of pogs. What are pogs?
Pogs? Oh, come on, mate.
Game, right?
You put them all in a pile.
You've got a slammer, right?
Yeah.
Then you throw the slammer down, and the ones you turn over, you win.
Okay.
I don't want any pogs.
Right.
Okay.
And also, I want some bottles of molten brown black pepper body wash, please.
Oh, okay.
I thought you had got one of them.
Yeah, but I really like it, so I want to sort of stack it up.
No, you should do. Some work at the BBC. Yeah. Get work really like it, so I wanted to sort of stack it up. You should do some work at the BBC.
Yeah.
Get work at the BBC, because it's always the other little ones in your dressing room.
Well, I want big ones.
I've got one in my bag from last night.
Yeah, nice one, mate.
I'm just going to say now that that is the last time we talk about pigs, is the last
time we talk about Muppets.
Even if we have to talk about pigs generally, if we have to say all my favourite things...
So this is the last time?
No, as now.
No, no, you can't do that.
That's not fair.
Done. No, it's not done. Done. I edit it. It's not done. Done. Right, this is the last time? No, as now. No, no, you can't do that. That's not fair. Done.
No, it's not done.
Done.
I edit it.
It's not done.
Done.
Right, this is the last time, so this is a proper appeal.
Did you know that there are lots of Africans starving to death?
And that AIDS is an horrible thing and a problem in the world.
Yeah.
And homeless is terrible.
Yeah.
And all disasters and things,
all, everything going wrong.
Right, I don't know where this is going.
So why not buy Muppet stuff?
Muppet stuff on eBay.
Get some Muppet stuff on eBay and send it to Ray.
And I'll make a donation to charity.
No, don't do any of that.
I'll make some sort of donation.
Let us know what charity you follow
and pitch your charities and then we'll make a donation.
No, cut out the middleman.
You don't have to send Muppets or anything like that.
How on earth is that going to work?
Well, I don't think we should be acting like a charity going,
Oh, please give me a Muppet.
I'm a weird man-child who just bumbles around his house.
Right, do you know what I'm going to do now?
What?
You know when you sell all the things you want?
Yeah.
I'm going to edit that out.
I'm going to go, and you say, here's what I want the things you want? Yeah. I'm going to edit that out. I'm going to go,
and you say,
here's what I want,
and then you'll go,
please give me a muppet,
I'm a weird man child.
And then I'm going to drop this bit in.
Mate, you can't have a go at me
when you're saying it as well.
Job done.
Time for the impressions round.
Is it?
Yeah, well, this is the bit we do every week
where Ray does some impressions
and you, the boys and girls at home,
have got to guess who it is.
I don't think this happens every week, does it?
Yes.
So, here's this week's one.
And as we know, I am a master of mimicry.
Yeah.
And I can do them all, me.
You are a very good of voices.
Who can forget last week's
Loie Grayson?
Right, here we go.
My name is Michael Caine.
Hang on.
My name is Michael Caine.
Oh, not many people know about that.
My name is Michael Caine.
Right.
Oh, you're only supposed to
blow the fucking doors off me.
That's very aggressive
and it doesn't sound much like Michael Caine.
And I'm doing the character
that he's doing as well.
No, but... Shh, don't say who it is. No, you've already said who it is. You've got to guess who that is. and it doesn't sound much like Michael Caine and I'm doing the character that he's doing as well no but shh don't say who it is
no you've already
said who it is
you've got to guess
who that is
and it doesn't say
blow the fucking
doors off
write in now
to where
guess who it is
on the fan page
or on the
peacockandgamble.com
it's too growly
for Michael Caine
write in on the
forum at
peacockandgamble.com
my name is
Michael Caine
it's more like that
enter the competition
I'll do it again
for you my name is Michael Caine my name is Michael Caine. It's more like that. Enter the competition. I'll do it again for you.
My name is Michael Caine.
My name is Michael Caine.
It's not even a word.
Oh, Charlie.
Oh, Charlie.
Charlie.
That's his name, isn't it,
in the Italian job.
I'm Charlie.
Somebody has broken
into my toilet.
And that's the end
of it.
That's Noel Coward.
What was the R? He's not a pirate.
It probably was in something.
Right.
Probably has done a pirate, hasn't he?
Right.
Whoever this person is, very clever.
See, he's trying to trick me now.
Michael Caine.
There's another one that he does.
Oh, Batman, I put your tights in the wash.
Oh, don't worry, they'll be dry by tonight.
When you go and fight
a dumb smiler one.
What ones has he done?
Oh, I can't believe Debbie Fenn got killed
on an Aussie estate.
I'm going to go and torture that lad off skins.
I've seen that one.
Yeah, I have.
Yeah, I liked it a lot.
I thought Jack was amazing in it.
I've not seen it.
I know Jack.
I've not seen it.
Off skins, because I was in it with him.
Anyway, did some more of his impressions.
Was he in Muppet Treasure Island?
I think he was, you know.
Or Muppet Christmas Carol, was he in?
Of course he was.
Right.
Oh, I'm Scrooge.
Come here, I'm Scrooge.
Everything.
And not a lot of people know that.
Everything comes back to Muppets.
Not a lot of people know it.
So, if you think you know the answer to that,
enter on the fan page,
write down your name,
your address,
your telephone number,
or your email address,
whatever,
and say what you'd like to win.
I'd like to give away a prize,
actually,
if that's alright.
I get to come up with a prize
because you come up with a competition.
Yeah, what's the prize?
Link Hogthrob.
Okay.
So when that arrives,
that'll be winging its way.
No, no, no, not that one. Yeah, no, when that one arrives, that'll be winging its way. No, no, no, not that one.
Yeah, no, when that one arrives,
that'll be winging its way.
No, you're saying you're going to supply it.
No, I'm saying you're going to supply it
because you're getting it sent in by a fan
and that's being signed by you
and sent to whoever wins the competition.
You said,
I'd like to give away a prize.
So you do that.
That's fine.
You can do that.
I do the impression.
I'm running the competition.
I'm overseeing the website.
No, Link Hogthrope's going
straight from your little house.
Say what you want your prize to be
when you enter.
Say what you want your prize to be.
It's got to be something
that won't cost us anything.
Like, it might just be, like,
some of our pubes or something.
Like, if you want some of our pubes,
I will send you some of our pubes.
Weirdly, that will cost me quite a lot
because I've sold my pubes.
You've given the rights to your pubes. Yeah, I have. Because me quite a lot because I've sold my pubes. You've given the rights
to your pubes,
haven't you?
Yeah, I have,
because I grow
a crest down there
for an orphanage.
He actually grows
a crest down there
for one of the
major supermarkets.
We shan't tell you
which one,
but let's just say
I'm not allowed in it.
So, this competition,
just write down
your name,
your address,
say Michael Caine
and then
see what you win in the end. But who was that? Who was that? I'm Michael Caine and then see what you win
in the end.
But who was that?
Who was that?
I'm Michael Caine.
I'm Michael Caine.
Mate, I'm a bit worried
that you're getting
too much stuff in your mouth.
Are you worried
that I'm too hungry?
No.
I feel hungry.
You feel hungry?
Yeah.
Right, well that's good to know.
I'm also drinking every day.
You're drinking beer every day?
Yeah.
How many beers are you having a day?
One or one.
One?
Well, the one's fine, isn't it?
One beer a day's alright.
I've never been a drinker.
I now feel like I need it.
No, you don't.
I do.
When I get in...
No, you don't.
When I get in at night,
if I see it in the fridge,
I just go,
oh, I need that.
No, you don't.
You think that would be nice.
I don't. Then you have it. I think I need it. If you've got... And I can only get it out of the fridge and I just go, oh, I need that. No, you don't. You say, do you think that would be nice? I don't.
Then you have it.
I'm going to need it.
And I can hardly get it out of the fridge because of my hands shaking.
If you got home and it wasn't in the fridge, would you go, oh, good God.
I bought these because we had them at a gig.
Me and you had them at a gig.
I think it was that one in York.
Budweiser 66 it is.
Yeah.
The lightly carbonated one.
Yeah.
I quite liked it.
Yeah.
I had one of them.
I'm going to buy some of them. Yeah. Probably like 20 pack or something. I don't know. I'm not counting them, but it is. Yeah. The lightly carbonated one. Yeah. And I quite liked it. Yeah. I had one of them and I'm going to buy some of them.
Yeah.
Probably like 20 pack or something.
I don't know.
I'm not counting them
but it's a lot.
But you have one a day
I think you'd be alright.
This is my first one today
and it's like
getting on for three o'clock now.
Yeah but you're not going
to have another one now though.
I might.
Well I think
actually drink as much as you can
because I'm a bit worried
your ass has gone a bit heavy
because you've got
all this stuff in here
and it's weighing it down.
What if one day right
you feel like going America or South America right and it's weighing it down what if one day right yeah you
feel like going america or south america right and then you can't afford the plane ticket because
you've spent all the money on all your stuff so you decide i've got a way i'll go loads of balloons
touch it to the top of my house but then it's so heavy that the balloons can't even lift your
house up and you just have to stay in boring old england and not live in south america on the
waterfall right this is up, innit?
Yeah.
The only reason my house would be too heavy is if you were in here with your Cub Scout uniform on.
My Cub Scout uniform?
Yeah.
That's what the little boy is wearing, isn't he?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I forgot that bit.
Yeah.
You'll be the reason that the house comes down off the bridge.
Anyway, he's not a Cub Scout.
He's a wilderness explorer.
Oh, is he?
Okay.
Yeah.
We're not allowed to say Scouts.
Obviously not, no.
You'd think Disney would have been able to get away with Cub Scouts, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I don't think they could, though.
Wilderness explorer. All right, well, you're that, then. Have, wouldn't you? Yeah, I don't think they could, though. Wilderness Explorer.
Alright, well, you're that then.
Have you watched it up recently?
Yeah, watched it the other day.
Did you cry?
A little bit, yeah.
Broke my heart crying it up.
Yeah.
I don't know how you could not.
Yeah, I know what you mean, mate.
I don't think you can look at it and not shed one tear or at least be upset.
I've got a friend who said that it didn't upset her because she had no emotional investment
in the woman who died at the beginning.
You got loads done, didn't you?
Yeah, and also
surely you get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Surely you get the
idea of being with
someone that long
and then losing them.
Yeah, because they
do it in the
montage, don't they?
Be that a relative
or a lover or a
pet or a car.
Tamagotchi.
Yeah, anything.
Or a pet rock.
Anything you've
had an emotional
investment in has
suddenly gone.
So you watched
Doctor Who?
Yeah, I've decided I'm going to revisit some films
that have made me cry in the past.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles almost did me.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
It's a beautiful film
and I think John Candy at the end of it
I think is amazing throughout it
as is Steve Martin.
But I think the reveal at the end
if you've not seen it
I'm not even going to say what it is
because it's worth going and watching it.
It's a great film.
I don't think it's just like a screwball comedy, because it's not that.
Yeah.
A really heart-wrenching thing happens.
All right.
There's a reveal at the end, and it's really, really upsetting, I think.
All right.
Well, that one, I'll watch that one, even though that is your cry film.
It's not a cry film.
It is your cry film.
I've got a major cry film.
What?
I am Sam.
Sean Penn playing a special.
Right.
Who is in custody of his daughter, and. Who is out of custody of his daughter
and he's trying to get custody of his daughter.
Well, he can't.
He can't because he can't look after her.
I've not seen the film
and I will immediately say
he can't because he can't look after her properly.
Yeah.
That's kind of the theme of the film.
Right.
And why are you crying?
Because basically you've been
emotionally manipulated by Hollywood.
Think of it from the judge's perspective.
Right. Think about it practically it from the judge's perspective. Right.
Think about it practically and from the judge's perspective.
You've got to stop these opinions that you have.
Why?
You've got to stop this abrasive...
We were at Riverside Studios the other day
where there's a gay play on.
Yeah.
We walked past it.
The poster's too many in bed
and you just put it in front of everyone,
put it out and went,
I don't think so.
Yeah, but that was
a joke
yeah I know
oh so you're
serious about the
disabled man
shouldn't
no I'm I just
think think about
it from the
judge's perspective
no one thinks
ever thinks about
the authority
figures in these
films they're all
like oh think of
the underdog
no think about
the man who has
responsibility in
his day-to-day life
not just running
around dribbling
it's not the
underdog though he's not the underdog, though.
It's not an underdog.
The point of the film is that he is capable of looking after her.
Is he?
No.
Well, that's what you see within the film, whether he is or not.
Guilty.
Send him to jail.
Right.
So you're now sending someone to jail for having severe autism.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
No, not for that, then.
Oh, no.
You don't mind that one?
No.
So he doesn't get sent to jail. Not that I recall. But he can it is? Yeah. No, not for that then. Oh no, you don't mind that one. No, so he doesn't get sent to jail.
Not that I recall. But he can look after his daughter.
Well, again, don't ruin the film for people.
People might want to go and watch it. Well, if you cried
and he probably doesn't get it. I cried
from literally about the third minute in.
Right. A constant stream.
Well, here's some other ones. Heartbreaking
ones. Here's some other ones for me. Maybe I will
watch that one and that will be my cry film as well.
What we could do one day
is just get together
and shut all the
windows and the
blinds and just
get a big box of
tissues share it
man sized
and then just
watch I Am Sam
and just feel free
to cry
get ice cream
and nap
yeah and just
maybe just sort of
rub our faces
together when they're
all wet and just
mix our tears up
yeah
E.T.
yep there we go
since I was a child
same same
I had it on
Pirate Video
many many years did you yeah that's a very different it on Pirate Video for many, many years.
Did you?
Yeah.
That's a very different film on Pirate Video,
don't it?
Arr, Fodom.
Right.
Fodom.
Fodom, tell them where the treasure is.
Bigfoot and the Andersons.
Right, I've seen that
because I think my brother used to like it,
but I don't recall much about it.
I cried.
Is it a crier?
Yeah, very much a crier.
In America, it was called Arry and the Andersons because they didn't know what Bigfoot cried. Is it a crier? Yeah, very much a crier. In America,
it was called
Ari and the Hendersons
because they didn't know
what Bigfoot was.
Is that true?
Well, they called it
Ari and the Hendersons
anyway, I know that much.
Are you sure that it wasn't
called Harry and the Hendersons
over here?
No, I think it was called
Bigfoot and the Hendersons
over here.
So, same, really,
but it doesn't really make sense.
Harry and the Hendersons
over there.
I think it was called
Harry and the Hendersons
over there because I think
Bigfoot is a bigger deal over there.
Why not call it Bigfoot then
if it's a bigger deal
then get more people in
if you call it Bigfoot.
Because he's called Sasquatch over there.
Well, there you go.
Maybe they didn't want to call it
Sasquatch and the Hendersons.
Yeah, but they probably
also know what Bigfoot is though.
Well, I don't know anyway.
Because Leonard Nimoy
did In Search of Bigfoot.
Right.
Or was it In Search of Sasquatch?
I don't know, mate.
I don't know either.
I'm confused.
It's a minefield. Why is it upsetting? Right. Did he die? Basically, Bigfoot. Like. Or was it in search of Sasquatch? I don't know, mate. I don't know either. I'm confused. It's a minefield.
Why is it upsetting?
Right.
If you die?
Basically, Bigfoot.
Like a big, hunky man.
Like Chewbacca.
No, very much like Chewbacca.
Yeah.
But a bit more shaved.
Now, hang on.
Is Bigfoot shaved, or is that just how he was?
He looks a bit more shaved than Chewbacca.
Yeah, but I don't think that Bigfoot was in the woods with a Gillette.
Right.
Going, I'll tell you what, before I reveal myself out there, I'm going to just pop a
bit off the chest. Have a bit off the chest.
Have a bit off the
chest.
Well.
I think that's just
how he's grown, isn't
it?
Right, okay.
He doesn't exist.
Well, he's grown a bit
more shaved than
Chewbacca.
He goes to live with
Harry.
Right.
No, he's Harry.
Yeah.
He goes to live with
the Andersons, who
are a family.
They don't know.
This is a good
section, isn't it?
What?
This could be quite a
good regular section
that we could do here,
which is, Ed tries to
remember a
film he saw
years ago.
I remember
it made me
cry.
And he causes
all sorts of
havoc.
Gets the boy
drunk.
Does he?
When the boy's
at school,
though.
And he's in
the house
getting drunk.
That's E.T.
Alright.
They look the
same.
They don't
look any
alike,
each other.
And then it
comes towards
the end,
where he
has to leave now, because the police are after him. if they like each other. And then it comes towards the end where he... Right.
Yeah.
Where he has to leave now because the police
are after him.
Why?
And he has to get
across a motorway.
See, the problem with this
what you're saying now is
I don't know what
the real story is.
He does have to go.
So I can't pull you up
on stuff.
Right.
What's getting across
a motorway?
He has to get to the forest
but the motorway's been built
through the middle
of the forest.
And he has to get across there, but he can't.
Judge says he can't.
The police are after him.
Right.
Definitely.
Yeah, okay.
What's he done?
I think they just want to experiment on him.
Okay.
So they get to the woods.
Would the police get involved in that?
Yes.
Or would that be like, they would, yes.
Yes.
They get to the woods.
Who's they?
Chewbacca.
Ari.
Yeah.
Ari and Third Rock from the Sun
Right
Yep
Oh he doesn't want to go
The thing is earlier
Third Rock from the Sun
Didn't like him
Because he caused a mess
In the house
But then
Now he does like him
Because he gets on
With his family
So he says to him
Get out of here
Being angry
For get rid of him
For get rid of him
Yeah
And Harry is upset
The Bigfoot
Is upset Does he talk Does he talk Like Chewbacca Like Chewbacca foot get rid of him get rid of him yeah and Harry is upset the big foot he's upset
does he talk
does he talk
like Chewbacca
like Chewbacca
and then he
so he sends him away
he's all upset
and you think
why
don't be upset
he didn't mean it
he didn't mean it
but then you see
his family join him
little family join him
little foot
little foot
and his missus foot
so what
is that what makes you cry
yeah
I'm happy
I'm happy
I'm sad at the same time.
I'm going,
oh!
Do you know what's weird
about this?
What?
Your film pitches
made more sense.
But what you're doing,
you're explaining a film
that does exist
and because you can't
remember it,
it's literally
absolute bollocks.
I don't believe
there's a single person
that even our most
hardcore fans, I don't believe are still sat single person that even our most hardcore fans
yeah
I don't believe
are still sat listening to this
right
I think they're going
this is going to just
go on for ages
well no
that's the end now
no and
oh I know it's the end
yeah
and you know it's the end
yeah
but they've already left
what film should we do next week
what do you mean
what film should we do next week
what other ones
can you not remember
why not do one
you've never seen
alright
why not do a film
you've never seen
and you can explain
what happens in that alright what film have you not seen recently well you do one you've never seen? Alright. Why not do a film you've never seen and you can explain what happens in that?
Alright.
What film have you
not seen recently?
Will you give me a
film and I'll tell you
if I've seen it?
Poseidon Adventure.
No.
Have you not seen
that?
No.
Me either.
Right.
Right.
Next week,
Ed will be telling
you the plot of
the Poseidon Adventure.
I don't want to be
going away cheating.
No, I'm not going
to have a look.
Of course I won't.
Do you know anything
about it at all?
Nope.
All I know is it's
on a submarine.
That's all I know.
Oh, don't tell me
that.
Mate, we can't just
have the title of a
film and then you just essentially do one of your film submarine. That's all I know. Oh, don't tell me that. Mate, you can't just have the title of a film
and then you just essentially do one of your film pictures.
It's got to have a vague connection to what the film was.
Poseidon Adventure on a submarine.
As far as I know, it's a disaster film on a submarine.
Right, and you give me one actor.
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
It's been remade as well.
It's called Poseidon.
Probably Gregory Peck, as a guess.
Right, okay.
I'd imagine Gregory Peck.
Right, okay, so we're going with that. Next week, I'll describe the plot to the Poseidon Adventure, which is as a guess. Right, okay. I would imagine Gregory Peck to be Mark Inslee. Right, okay, so we're going with that.
Next week I'll describe the plot to The Poseidon Adventure,
which is understated me, we've possibly got Gregory Peck in it.
I would imagine Gregory Peck's almost certainly in it.
Bang, I'll do that, lovely.
And don't be the only one telling us stuff about it this week.
No.
Don't be feeding Ed the plot.
No, I won't listen if you try.
You can maybe feed him some secret plots.
Yeah, to a little red herring.
I know one red herring.
Rich and Erin after we compared his gig.
He was a red herring then, wasn't he?
Yeah.
Because we did it so much better than him, probably.
Yeah, probably.
Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed
by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble.
All music by The Tiger Lilies, except for the last one,
which is performed by Frank Sidewistle. See you next week.