The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Episode 8

Episode Date: March 17, 2019

"Episode 8" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 8 of 128.

Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Hello and welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. I'm Ed Gamble. I'm Ray Peacock. Hello Ray Peacock. Hiya, I've washed my hair. I know, you look lovely. I've just done a shower already for this podcast. Yeah.

Because I thought it is best to be clean. So, I've washed my hair with shampoo, and then I put some Tony and Guy conditioner on it. It looks beautiful. Smell it. Alright. Mmm. Doesn't smell nice, does it? Doesn't smell lovely, yeah.

That's because it's well expensive. How are you? Alright? Yeah, I'm fine. Go on, ask me. Alright, how are you? Fine, thank you. I'm clean.

Yeah, I know, you look all tousled. When was the last time you had a shower? This morning. What sort of one did you have? Big one. With a big thing on top? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was all spraying on me. All the water? Yeah. Wow. Did it go in your hair? Yeah. And then trickle over your face? Yep. Then down over your busters? Yep. And then it just tripped off the end of them and hit the floor. Yeah. Do you know what? I can't remember last time I washed my knob and legs. I have no idea when the last time.

I actually think now, if I now got water on my knob or legs or feet, I would come out in a rush. But I am clean for this one. I am clean. The top, I'd say the top foot and a half of my body is really clean. Yeah, well, I've noticed that below my busters, it has gone all just like withered and dry. It is like nice juicy top, right? Nice juicy head and hair my busters, it has gone all just like withered and dry. It is like nice juicy top, right?

Nice juicy head and hair and busters, right? And then just a crisp below. No, I've noticed actually recently when I've been looking at you, every time I look at you, I fancy a Cornetto. I think you look like a big Cornetto now. I think you might be disappointed

I don't have a bit of chocolate in the bottom of my toes. I think I look like an oyster. What do you get from an ice cream van? Yeah, you do. I'll do for an intro. Yeah, I suppose so. What I'd like to do very quickly today

is I'd like to reference all the things that have happened that we're not able to talk about yet because we pre-record these so far ahead. Like all the things that have been sent to us as gifts and all the rest of it. Also the PlayStation Home thing.

A lot of people, we said on a podcast a few weeks ago about adding me on PlayStation Home as a friend. That podcast came out this week when we were recording this. I'm a bit surprised when I got to my inbox on the Monday. No one, no one's added you. No, it was just under 100 people. I've already deleted loads of them. And you know, no, they know why.

I'm not going to repeat it on air. You know why I deleted you. What, they beat you at bowling and you got angry? Pretty much, yeah. Also, the gifts that we've had. Thank you very much for our gifts.

We're just going to do a little rundown of some of the ones we've had so far. You got a gift. I did. I got a little number plate with Edward written on it.

That was nice. Who's that from? That was from Gio. Oh, Gio got me, she sent me some luxury hot chocolate. Yeah. Three tins of luxury hot chocolate all wrapped up in cellophane with a ribbon on it. That was nice. Who's that from? That was from Gio. That was from, oh, Gio got me, she sent me some luxury hot chocolate. Yeah. Three tins of luxury hot chocolate

all wrapped up in cellophane with like ribbon on it and that. Do you want to swap? No, I'm alright without a number plate with Edward written on it. Who's the Gavin guy? Gavin Almond.

Gavin Almond, yeah. Because that was sent to you, wasn't it? Yeah, that was a big sort of package of things. Okay, what was in it? A piece of pasta. But you did ask for that.

I did ask for that, but I was kind of hoping for more than one bit. Okay, do it like The Generation Game, go on. You did ask for that. I did ask for that, but I was kind of hoping for more than one bit. Okay, do it like the Generation Game. Go on. All right, this is the most fucked up Generation Game conveyor belt ever. A piece of pasta. A tutti frutti sweet.

A condom. Why was it a condom? Well, he explained it in the note. He said it was in case we wanted to take our relationship to the next level. Right. Not with him. I think he meant me and you. Oh, right.

Well, I'm having first go at that condom now. You should have said two, really. Yeah. It's too late anyway, isn't it? We've already gone bareback. What else? A destructoid sticker. What the fuck's that?

It's a sticker with a robot on it. I quite like it. Is it like Transformers? Like a crap Transformers? Yeah, and it's saying sweet or something. I think it's something to do with a forum on the internet. Okay. Yeah.

I'm not familiar with that. If I had a skateboard, it would look lovely on it. Okay, well I might put it on my car. Yeah. I've already got a DC sticker on my car. Yeah, you do. Your car is a little bit like a skateboard, isn't it? I do.

My car was so expensive and I do just put stickers on it. It's like a really expensive pencil case. Yeah, you're like a little girl who's got her first calculator. Dude, when I get a sticker, I think, I'm going to put it on my car. An origami crane called Cecil. A crane called Cecil? Yeah, like a bird crane. Oh, right, right, right.

Like a paper thing he's folded. I thought like a building site one. Basically, he's folded up a bit of paper. You could, yeah. Well, cheers for that, Gav. Cheers for that, Gav. Cheers, mate. Much appreciated.

Jordan Bradbury, here's a weird one. I got a little red slip through my letterbox saying... Move out. You're evicted. You've not paid your rent. No, it's saying that you've got a parcel waiting for you at the post office, right? Right. Went down to get it.

Quite excited about it. Was it Jordan Bradbury wrapped up? No, it wasn't. It was a present from Jordan Bradbury. Right. Thanks for it, Jordan. Yeah. Much appreciated.

It's baffled us a little bit. Because you've got me Crocodile Dundee 1 and 2 DVD box set. Which, I mean, the weird thing about that is I've got literally thousands of DVDs. I've not got that. Maybe he was the Welsh shower man and he looked through all of the stuff when he came.

Oh, Evil Monkey. Oh, you don't have Crocodile Dundee 1 and 2? I'll remember that for future. Maybe Evil Monkey was a distraction going, oh look, Evil Monkey.

And then when I looked he went and did an inventory of my DVDs. But thanks Jordan, that's much appreciated. We're going to watch them tonight I think. We'll have a romantic night in.

How did he get to that idea? Do you know what? Part of me is thinking just don't question it. To be honest, I can hear it in your voice that you like Crocodile Dundee. I do like it,

not that it ever is but I'm looking forward to it. Catherine sent me a bull's head. Fucking, if I was baffled by Crocodile Dundee, when that came through the

fucking post, a little shitty little bull's head. Oh right, okay, because in my mind I've just got this image of a postman pushing like a

rotting bull's head through your letter book. It was like one you buy in Spain and that. Right. But it had all pipe cleaners on it and that,

and a little note saying you can keep your keys on it. Right, that is slightly threatening. Mate, it won't even hold itself up by its little handle thing. We also, oh, Jack and Alan did me a rap video. Oh, that's good. We got that on Facebook. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, really, really good.

Alan looks a bit like a girl. Right. I mean, they are called, I'm sure it's Alan. I'm sure her name's Alan. It's Jack and Alan, but I think that is a girl, Alan. Yeah, it must be. Yeah, and also, we got theatre tickets. Yeah, that was amazing.

From Elby. Now, that was a genuinely, that was lovely, but we were a bit worried when we got them that we thought, hang on, have you just made these and you're sending us to the West End? And also we thought... Like when we'd been sending people down to get a cruise ship and that. Yeah, totally. But also, the other thing we were worried about

as well is we don't know if you were there, LB, because you might have got tickets on the same night behind us or something and we just don't know. But we went to that

show yesterday, we'll say about that in a bit. I did notice that when I left, there was a lock of hair had been cut from the back of my head.

Yeah, I noticed that a star of skin had been carved out of my neck. But thank you for that, that was really, really appreciated. They weren't cheap then, tickets either, so thank you very much. But thank you for that. I was really, really appreciative. They weren't cheap then tickets either

so thank you very much. But lovely presents all around. Keep them coming. Yep. Bit less of the tutti frutti's, bit more of the theatre tickets. Thank you very much. Deliberate mistake time. Hooray! Last week's deliberate mistake and here's a big exclusive. Everybody got it. Well done everyone. Absolutely everybody got last week's deliberate mistake. and here's a big exclusive. Everybody got it. Well done, everyone.

Absolutely everybody got last week's deliberate mistake. I mean, it was glaringly obvious. What was it? Admittedly. Last week's deliberate mistake, of course, was the entire Ed's prediction section. Oh, come on. The entire section of that was all absolute toss. No, it wasn't.

And a blatant mistake, all of it. I mean, none of that will come true. I have seen at least one plane flapping its wings. So congratulations to everybody who got that one. And it's a good prize as well this week. It's a brilliant prize, right? It is to go and stay in a cottage. Right?

It's a cottage in Hayesborough on the Norfolk coast, okay? And basically what you've got to do is go to the cottage, right? This is where you went on holiday, isn't it? Yeah. It's actually spelt Happersburg, the place, but it's called Hayesborough. Go and stay there. It's just down from the Hill House pub I call it the Hell House don't go there

because they're just full of racists it's absolutely vile we're left there within 30 seconds go to the cottage you'll know which one it is and just outside the front door

to the right of it there's a little boot scraper thing to the left of it there's a little padlock thing that's actually a little safe so in that

is the key for the front door and the code for that is 37. Right, you can't say that. And the code for that is 3777. So if you just go there, 3777, put that in there, you can get the key out and you can go stay in that.

Right, don't. Don't worry if anyone says you can't. Just say, I said it was fine. I paid for it and I thought that I would then

be able to use it however long I wanted. You thought you bought it. Yeah, I don't remember anyone saying a week. Right, so just go there, get the key out, and go and enjoy that. You'll have a lovely time. I mean, do it soon, because Hayesborough is falling into the sea

at quite an alarming rate. Is that since you went there? I did do a lot of dancing and jumping while I was there, right? But I think it's about 30 foot has gone in the last three years. Wow. It's properly falling into the sea, and I think the cottage is about maybe 300 foot. Can't do the maths.

So get there quick. Go there quite quickly. And just go move in there. Congratulations. All the people who got that, which was everyone, you have won a cottage on the Norfolk coast. Three, triple seven. That is what you want to put into the little code.

And enjoy yourselves. And me and Ed might come and visit sometimes. Yeah, for a nice stay. Yeah, because they have got all the board games there. One of which is called Mind Trap, which I'm going to read a question out for you later on, because you will not believe it. You will simply not believe the answer to this question.

We're not going to give it. We're going to give the question. You can guess it yourself. The other interesting thing that's happened this week is we got an invite. Well, I got an invite, first of all, through Facebook. Yeah. To go to a barbecue.

You did, yeah. Yeah, a gentleman wrote to me and said, it's my friend's birthday. He's a big fan of the podcast. Will you come to his birthday party? Right, now, unfortunately, I was working, or will be working on the night in question. So I will have to send apologies and RSVP no, sadly. But then you rang me up that night. Yeah.

I hadn't even told you about it. No. You rang me that night and you said you'd been asked to do a corporate. Yeah, I introduced the concept as that, yeah. Yeah. But essentially I was asked to go to the same barbecue. Yeah, but different deal for you. Different, a little bit of a different deal for Ed.

I was just invited to go to it. I think we know which one's his favourite because I was offered accommodation in a travel lodge, twin room mind. Yeah. And £80 expenses. To go to someone's barbecue. Yeah, free food and free drink as well go to someone's barbecue yeah free food and free drink as well now here's the thing you were considering going yeah i'm not saying whoever you

are i'm not saying it's not january i'm not saying you're not lovely people and all the rest of it that's fine and it's much appreciated and keep the invites coming but we prefer the fair ticket but keep the invites coming but i mean what how first off how did they arrive at 80 quid how did they go right well i reckon that we can get Ed. Well, let's make some notes, actually. Let's try and work... I reckon we could get Ed at this stage in his career for 80 quid. No, but we have to give him an hotel room as well.

All right, should we give him the money or the hotel? No, give him the hotel room because we are going to get him drunk. All right. I reckon what happened was it was originally going to be 150. And they worked out that I was going to eat 70 pounds worth of meat. Yeah. Yeah. But you're not going?

No, I'm not. No, no, no. Definitely not. No, I'm not. I'm busy. I think you should go. Why? I just strongly think

you should go. Well, in fact, you were trying to force me to go and you said, even to the extent that you said, I'll drop you off and pick you up.

Which would have been the strangest thing in the world. But how awkward would that be? Really awkward. I mean, that's a step away from being a lookalike. That's like going,

let's just book someone who looks like David Jason to just walk around our party. Do I look like David Jason? No, I'm using it as an example. Alright, okay. I'd love you to do it. Because this is how it'd go. It'd be literally like,

ding dong, hello? Oh my God, it's Ed! Ed, look, look, look mate, it's Ed, your favourite of the podcast. Hello, I'm Ed. Hiya, Ed, come on in. Hiya. Oh, nice party.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's brilliant. Oh, I can't believe you're here. Yeah, I'm here now. Yeah. Yeah, you are. We're going to have a barbecue. Oh, cool, I like a barbecue. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad you came. Yeah, I'm glad to be here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad you came. Yeah, I'm glad to be here. Yeah. Oh. Eddie's here, everyone. Oh, it's a podcast I like. Right, you know, none of you lot listen to it.

It's literally just me. Only I know who he is, but the problem is it's my birthday, so I've got a mingle in that. Yeah. Well, thank you for inviting me. That's all right, Ed. Yeah. When do I get my 80 pounds?

How long will I have to stay for? Is any food ready now? And then you'd go missing. In a year's time, I'd get another invite to the same party, and I'd go, I'd better go now and see what actually happened there. I'd walk in, the door would shut behind me, and then I'd be like... I'd open a closet,

it'd just be you, Finn, tied up going, thank God you phoned me, thank God there wasn't even any meat, there wasn't even a barbecue, they've just been using me for sex. Happy birthday.

Are they going to use me for sex. But happy birthday. Are they going to use me for sex? I might go. So, we were sent tickets as a gift. We were. To West End Production of Waiting for Godot. X-Men Live. X-Men Live as we christened it immediately when we found out that it was starring Ian McKellen.

Yep. Patrick Stewart, Simon Callow was in it as well. Yeah, the dead one off Hugh Grant. Yeah, and Ron Moody off Oliver. I can't remember who the other one was. Ronald Pickup it was. Ronald Pickup, yeah.

Sadly, we went on an afternoon to matinee and it was all understudies. So we had Ian McCaskill, the weatherman, Simon Cowell. Yeah, that was good. That was a good spot. Yeah, that was good. And your brother Patrick.

Yeah. I know, it was full cast. It was, it was. Full cast yesterday. Now, I'm a bit of a connoisseur of Beckett, Samuel Beckett. Yeah, and I am a connoisseur of X-Men. Yeah, you know all about that as well. I've actually performed in Wayne Vergado.

I've played Vladimir in Wayne Vergado. I've also played Estragon in Wayne Vergara in French yeah it was a show off yeah it was originally written in French and I've actually played it

in French it was abridged in fairness but I did play I've played both parts well you say in French what you did is it was the English production you went on and went

million a million more million a million more French legs nothing to be done I am beginning to come round to that conclusion myself oh you did it it as Frank Spencer as well.

Good morning. Done all that, innit? Yeah, it's good. Did you enjoy the play, Ed? I did. I liked the bit when Brian Cox came in the school, right? Right now. And they all had to run out.

No, that is X-Men. No. Did you enjoy Wayne Fogado that we went to see yesterday? I did, I did. Yeah. I really liked the bit in the house where Patrick, my brother, ends up flying in the air and then disappears. This was the problem.

I mean, you might think now it's being flippant, but don't forget, West End, all nice. It's surrounded by a lot of posh people there

wearing their jeans and t-shirts, which I think is how the theatre should be in fairness, but it's not the way it is. It's for the masses, isn't it?

Yeah, but it's mostly just lots of perfume in there. Although, I'll tell you what, in the interval, right, no word of a lie,

we saw a girl with a knocker out and she had his low-cut dress on and she spilled out of it although I'll tell you what in the interval right no word of a lie we saw a girl with a knocker out yeah and she had like his low cut dress on and she spilled out of it and a knocker was out and that's not even a joke

that is true that is I said oh look Patrick Stewart's come up to your personal appearance but I'll tell you how Ed behaved himself at the theatre now you see the thing is

I trained in theatre yeah went to drama school in that originally before I knocked it all on the edge yeah and decided to do a bit of comedy instead yeah a bit of the old comedy I still do a bit of acting every now and again yeah I trained in theatre. Yeah. Went to drama school in that originally before I knocked it all on the edge. Yeah. I decided to do a bit of comedy instead.

Yeah, a bit of the old comedy. I still do a bit of acting every now and again. Yeah. So I know how to conduct myself, is what I'll say, in a theatrical environment. Yeah. Both offstage and on,

I know how to conduct myself. Yeah. I'm not sure, Ed. I mean, the thing about saying X-Men live, that was funny, I get it. It's not really the done thing to throw staples in the air

when a production is going on to see if it sticks to Magneto right it's not really a done thing and it'll annoy the people around you as well right alright that's fine but I was just trying to have a little bit of fun

down the theatre yeah he's behind you he's not really not really allowed he was? I know he was but that was the point of it he was calling for me

yeah and I understood where you were coming from with it. And also the bit where you lent over to me, because if you're not familiar with Waiting for Godot, I don't think I'll be ruining it to tell you that Godot doesn't actually appear. Yeah, bloody waste of 50 quid, that, for whoever sent us the tickets. Yeah, Godot never comes back. It never actually turns up. I want to go down there on the last night and see if he turns up as a surprise.

No, I don't think he will, because I think, I mean, my interpretation of the play is that Godot doesn't even exist. That Godot is a transposition of Vladimir and Estragon. Oh. They call each other Didi and Gogo.

God, it's like about God. No. God? Oh. No, it's not. He doesn't exist. His full name is Godot but he doesn't exist.

No, their names for each other are Gogo and Didi and if you transpose those letters that comes up with Godot so they're essentially waiting for themselves. No, sorry, it's called Waiting for Godot not Waiting for Godi. No. If're essentially waiting for themselves. No, sorry, it's called Waiting for Godot, not Waiting for Goddy.

No, but... If his name was Dodo. No, Go-Do-Do. Then I suppose that's extinct, and Dodos don't exist, so Godot doesn't exist. Can you see what I had to go with... Nice one, Ray. ...at the theatre yesterday?

Can you see what I had to... I'm all for messing about. Right. I'm all for dicking around, as our London Dungeon story will tell you. But, you know, there's a certain... You've not even told them that I made a special effort. You say I was in jeans and a t-shirt. Yeah. But I went in proper there's a certain... You've not even told them that I made a special effort. You say I was in jeans and a t-shirt.

Yeah. But I went in proper special clothes as well, didn't I? Well, this is why we should have gone Forbidden Planet after we had been in the theatre.

Because Ed managed to buy in Forbidden Planet without me noticing. And I'm actually quite an observant lad. And I only found this out at the clapping. During the applause,

during the break, the interval, Ed's clapping was very clunky. I looked down, he'd bought himself a Wolverine claw. Yeah, it's good for the theatre. So he's clapping with a Wolverine claw. People are looking at us. I'm glad Magneto didn't notice. He's suggesting at half-time going,

I tell you what, if the second half's as long as the first half, I'm going to run on and say, Hello, I'm Godot. Sorry I'm late, all it was. I think I might have dropped my keys around here, have either of you found it? No? Alright then, the end, and bowed. Just keep it a bit more snappy, because the second half is basically saying, I'd thought right, because they're doing it so much, that they'd gone on an autopilot and just started doing the first half again.

Yeah, it's relatively similar to the second half. But there are a lot of differences, though. Yeah. Is that your theatre review? Yeah. Yeah, no, it was good. No, I'll do a review of it now. All right, here's a review of Waiting for Godot in the West End. When I went for Waiting for...

What is it? Waiting for Godot. Waiting for Godot in the West End. Or Godot, a lot of people say in America. I was looking forward to it because of Captain Pickard and Gandalf. Who, incidentally, we met in boots afterwards. Yeah, we did. He had a cap on, didn't want to speak to us. people say in America. I was looking forward to it because of Captain Picard and Gandalf. Who incidentally we met in boots afterwards. Yeah we did.

He had a cap on didn't want to speak to us. Yeah the bloke what's he called Patrick Stewart we met him in boots afterwards. No he's alright. He wouldn't even shake my claw.

Well there. Anyway back to my review. We were sat on very comfy seats and they sold revels at the entrance which is always nice for the theatre.

Unfortunately I couldn't get into my revels pack because I had my Wolverine Chloro. Anyway, to sum up my review, the revels were nice, apart from the coffee ones, the seats were comfy, and the girl sat next to me was quite fit, if a bit young. Three stars. She was about 30! Yeah, but I had to do something to distract myself, didn't I? On the plus side, though, I have to say,

I was very heartened to see that Patrick Stewart is now out of his wheelchair. It was nice that he wasn't in his wheelchair no more. But I'd advise you to go and see it. I mean, if you can't really afford to go and see it, like me and Ed, then just start a podcast. Start a podcast, encourage fans to send you free stuff. Maybe one of them will be naive and stupid enough to send you two tickets, £50 each, to go and see a matinee performance,

which essentially we ruined. The first time I went on PlayStation Home, after all my brand new podcast friends all added me on PlayStation, I was playing bowling with another person who wasn't a podcast fan, just a stranger on PlayStation Home. About 30 of them came on and just stood around me. Just looking at me. I'm like going,

hey, hey, are you all right? Are you all right? And they were going, we are dreadfully sad about Fraser. My condolences about Fraser. That's nice that they're joining in. It is, but it's a little bit creepy to just have people just staring at you.

Yeah, it's more awkward when it happens when you're really bowling. Yeah, no, I know. That has happened as well before because I bring my own shoes. Which I made myself out of cellophane and a crisp packet.

Right, so I'm there and I don't look unlike Jesus on my icon. On PlayStation Home. Not in real life. But on my PlayStation icon it's not unlike Jesus. I thought like,

how must it look? Yeah, if someone's walking past to see a Jesus looking person with 30 people around him. It was like Life of Brian the video game. Maybe they thought that that was Jesus resurrected, but he'd come back in a computer because that is the modern way of doing it.

Are you trying to very... Are you being sly here? Are you trying to do another future prediction? No. That should Jesus come back, he's coming back in a computer game. That he will decide... He'll be chatting away with God going,

tell you what, Dad, I think I might nip back down to Earth. Think it's time? I think I'll have a quick go down there. And God will go, oh, yes, that's a good idea. God made us in his own image, so by that logic, he must have some gay in him, right? Oh, yeah, get yourself down to Earth. That's it, Jesus, go down. Oh, now, where are you going to reveal yourself? Times Square, New York? Central

London, what do you reckon? Maybe at Parliament? No, Dad, what I thought I would do is I would reveal myself on a PlayStation Home. I thought, well, I reckon I could get a deal on Xbox. No, I've always preferred PlayStation. I'm going to go with Sony on this one. Sony presents the second coming. You've got to be loyal when it comes to consoles. No, Jesus isn't good. You've got to be loyal when it comes to consoles. Is that Jesus or not? That was surprisingly accurate.

Hello, I'm Ray Peacock. It's a letters section now, where we write complaint letters to companies about their products, and we complain about them in order to get some free stuff. Why are you doing it so low energy? Unfortunately, I have resigned

from this section due to artistic disagreement, due to the fact I've been getting no support from my comedy cohort, Ed Gamble, due to the fact that I feel increasingly undermined. I've been helping you. Increasingly that my letters,

even though I was doing my artist and trying it as best as i could and trying to learn even though i'd done all that it was like banging my head against a brick wall but you were constantly mentioning cancer i sadly have to now bow out from this section unless public opinion sways the other way and you all write on the facebook page that i am the best one please do my letters again because they are the funniest ones and you are enjoying them and you're not upset by Fraser having...

which I'm not allowed to say. In fact, which I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say the illness. You might have heard in this section so far. The only person that's mentioned the illness is Ed. I'm a bit more tasteful than that. But anyway, I'm not getting involved in this one. I'm now going to say I'm going to be professional.

Right. Well, you're not being professional. I laugh along with it. You're bringing arguments into the realm of performance. I mean, I didn't realise that when we were doing this podcast, when we decided to do it, I didn't realise I was going to be censored. I didn't realise that Ed would be coming down so hard on me.

Look, you can do what you want. I'm just trying to give you advice. I thought freedom of speech still existed, but apparently not. It's like South Africa here. But when it was bad. In the olden days. But Ed, you have written a letter this week,

a complaint letter. Yeah, but what I want to check with you now is fine, you're bowing out. I think you're giving up too early. I think you're well on your way to doing something good. And I think it's a shame. Don't now. I think it's a shame.

No, it's my turn now. You've had your little say. Speech. It was a speech. Your little speech. Right. I think it's a shame. No, it's my turn now. You've had your little say. Speech. It was a speech. Your little speech. Right. I think it's a real shame that you're the only

beginner at it and you've given up. Don't patronise me. No, I'm not patronising you. I'm being nice. You were learning how to ride the bike and we just about

took the stabilisers off. Yeah. You've fallen off. You've scraped your knee. I didn't scrape my knee though. You did scrape your knee. I didn't. I was brilliant

and my letters were good and edgy. And I put a plaster on it and you're going, no, it hurts. It hurts. Don't put the plaster on. And that is what, and you're blaming me for it hurting. But it's your fault because you fell off your bike.

My stuff was all controversial now. I'm the bad boy of comedy. Right. Well, you'll see. I think, in fact, I'm going to say something now. If this makes you want to keep doing it. What? I think your letters have influenced my letters.

Right. I think we're finding a nice middle ground. So go on, do your letter. Right, well, I bought some sweets recently from a garage. I'll admit, I was sucked in by the packaging. I'll just show them to you now. Whoa. They're called Toxic Wastes.

Yeah, let me see this. It's like a little... Like a drum, like an oil drum type thing with all sorts of green toxic waste spilling over the edge. Like the sort of things you need to shoot near monsters on a PlayStation game. Yeah, that's what it's made them explode. Basically, they're hazardously sour candy. This is vile.

Assorted sour fruit flavour hard-boiled sweets. Yeah, and I bought them from a garage, and my new trick is I'll give them to someone who's driving to see if we'll crash. I'll just read you some of the warnings. Well, firstly, they have a little table which is titled, How Long Can You Keep One In Your Mouth? Which is not a good thing for a sweet.

It's not really, is it? Assuming you'll spit it out. Yeah, I mean, we could just get a little pot of bird shit. How long can you keep it in your mouth? Yeah, see how long you can taste this for. I've never understood sweets like this. I've never got it. I've never understood popping candy.

I love popping candy. I think it's absolutely horrible. It's like a party in your mouth. No've never got it. I've never understood popping candy. I love popping candy. I think it's absolutely horrible. It's like a party in your mouth. No, it's not. It's horrible. It hurts. It doesn't hurt. It hurt me as a child.

No, drawing pins you were having. No, it wasn't. I can remember coming back from Par Baths. Right. Swimming pool when I was really young. I mean, mum had bought me some popping candy. I presumed it was when it first came out, but it's maybe been going much longer than that.

Yeah. She used to work for an American company and she got them from America. right and she gave me i can i can still vividly remember i must have been four or five years old in the back of my mom's datsun eating that and feeling like i was gonna die and being furious that she'd even given it to me to eat like it was a joke or something so you've written to these wanting more of them i've written to candy dynamics uh in indianapolis in. In Indianapolis to try and get some more. I don't want any more of them. Right,

okay, but let's just see if we can get them. And by the way, if any listeners are now going, oh, it'd be funny to send them to them, wouldn't it? Don't do that. I'd sooner have nothing. Here we go. Dear Candy Dynamics of Indiana Jones Anopolis. Hello. First off, I would like to say what a nice surprise

it is to find out that there is a theme park all about Indiana Jones. And also that you make sweets on it. But that is my only good comment. I recently purchased a packet of your toxic waste sweets for my son, Fraser. A plucky little lad with a fighting spirit and very bad luck. He liked the packaging and he thought he might be able to use the pot for his medicine once he had finished his sweets. Wow, what's up with him? Got a cough.

They will sadly never be finished as we have to throw them away. Why, has he died? No, we've had to throw them away. Just copying all my ideas. Right. But when I do it, it's bad taste. Go on, now carry on. Right, now I'm not carrying on if you're not going to enjoy it.

I'm enjoying it. I'm just saying now. Alright, I'll save it to the end. Go on. Right? Yeah. Fraser popped one sweet in his mouth and then scrunched his face up and strained so much that his eye popped out

on its strength. It just sat there on his cheek whilst the other one did all crying. On the upside, he did spot my phone on the floor which I had dropped, so that is one good thing to come from it. I've told him he can have an eye patch but on second thought, this won't work so I've bought him he can have an eye patch, but on second thought, this won't work, so I've bought him a long

eye sack. He's trying to make the best of it as always, and he's trying to learn how to look round corners. His father wants to cut it off with nail scissors like in Hostel. But I don't want this. How will I ever be able to cut my

nails again knowing my scissors have been near that? I have had an idea. If you send us some more, maybe we can get his other eye to do the same. So he can pretend it is just what he looks like normally. So send them, please. Yeah, that's what I asked him to send them. Secondly, he's been studying the effects

of nuclear waste on wildlife at school. So he fed some of the sweets to the ducks. They exploded. Just thought I would end the letter on a nice note, but don't forget about his eye, Mrs Fraser. That's lovely, well done. Well done, and I think skirting, no, skirting, stepping right into bad taste. Do you think? Because you haven't looked at me, about him him being poorly and you're on about him wandering around

with two dangly eyes. No, one dangly eye. Yeah, but you want him to have two. To balance it out. Like a Ghostbusters toy. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think your letters

have influenced me and I think we're finding a nice middle ground so I'm really upset you stopped doing yours. Well, I'm sorry. I'm in retirement anyway. But don't forget,

if anybody wants me to carry on with them, just say, you know, I will bow to democracy. And should there be a charge for me to do, like, more letters, if you all come going, no, please, please, please, then I will be back definitely doing them next week. Definitely going to be proper bad taste as well. The Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble.

All music by the Tiger Lilies, except the last one, which is performed by Frank Sidebottom. The Peacock and Gamble podcast is a big and dark production, hosted by Chortle.co.uk. If you spotted a deliberate mistake in this week's show, tell us on our Facebook page and you might win a prize. See you next week. Right, as well as our usual competition of deliberate mistakes, we're going to put another competition in this week, just for fun. No prizes.

Now, when I was on holiday, we got to the cottage where we stayed. It had all games and things there, board games and stuff. Ooh, fancy dance! Right? Now, one of the games that was there was a game called Mind Trap. Right. Which we played a little bit while we were there. Yeah.

Because it was so fucking ridiculous. Well, you played it with me as well, I seem to remember. I kept bringing you up and asking you the questions. Yeah. And I would actually ask the one that was your favourite question. Yeah. Because I went and bought it. So we're going to ask this question.

If you already know the answer to this, and you know this question, don't give it away by putting it on the Facebook. Yeah. If you want to have a guess at it, then by all means, do contribute on the Facebook page. We will also put the question on the Facebook page again, so you can read the entire question. So here is the question, and we will reveal it next week, what the Facebook page. We will also put the question on the Facebook page again so you can read the entire question. So here is the question and we will reveal it next week what the answer is. Carrie Queen works on the 35th floor of an office tower. Most mornings Carrie will ride the elevator as far as the 25th floor then climb the stairs to the 35th floor. On the morning when it's

raining however he will always ride the elevator to the 35th floor. Since Carrie is neither fond of exercise nor superstitious, what would be the reason of this rather bizarre behaviour? So if you can come up with the answer to that, try and work it out. Just think about it for a bit. Try and work it out. I mean, there is a logic to it.

There's a genuine logic to the question. You will not believe the answer to this question when we tell it to you next week. But do have a crack at that on the Facebook page. We'll put it in the discussion section of the Facebook page and we'll have all the discussion there and you can join in and

see if you can win it you will not get it if you get it you know it already and you're a cheat