The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Episode 80

Episode Date: August 9, 2020

"Episode 80" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 81 of 128.

Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. I like how some of them scream a little bit when it starts. Yeah, they do. A lady at the back there. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast, live, coming live from the Edinburgh Fringe. Not live, though, is it? It is live. It's in a live environment.

No, I'm definitely alive now. It's in front of a live studio audience. Yeah. It is a studio, isn't it? It's studio theatre, isn't it? Yeah. So it's live, like, in front of a studio audience, like Happy Days or Everyone Loves Raymond. And you are called Raymond, so that all fits in, but not everyone

loves you, only one of the girls. Oh, now you're saying things that only we know in the room. I know, so they should have fucking come, shouldn't they? It's an absolutely fair comment, that in front of someone. They definitely should have, and I quote, fucking come. Then they say, well, hello, I'm Ray, can you call? Nice to meet you all,

ladies and gentlemen, oh, we're in a big sold-out audience here tonight. Yeah, here we are at the Edinburgh International Conference Centre. Yeah, that's why it's a little bit echoey. Do you want to say your name? My name is Ed Gamble. Hello. Two miles away from Ray, because we have such a long table to fill the big stage.

Further away than we normally are, aren't we? Yeah. I thought about Gamble now when you said that. You know that people are, like, their names are what they did, what their parents, or like, old parents did. Hang on, hang on. Old parents. Yeah. like their names are what they did, what their parents or like old parents did. Not their actual... Hang on, hang on. Old parents. Yeah. You know when you have parents

and then they have got some on top of that? Yeah. And then it keeps going. Yeah, like grandparents, great-grandparents. Just ancestors. All that. Ancestors! Yeah, old parents. Right. You know that your name comes from that? Yeah, I think it's actually a derivation of Campbell. It's come off Campbell. You lost me at derivation. I think I might have used

the wrong word there. Campbell, oh, Campbell. Campbell, Gamble, it's like Celtic. And what did Campbell do? Made soup. Is that right? Yeah, that's where it comes from, isn't it? I've got to put my pass, I just realised I just did my passcode on my iPad quite clearly in front of everyone. Yeah. And that's my pin number for my bank card. Pin number for everything, that, innit? So, what do you want to talk about today? We've got loads, we've got to catch up on what we have been up to at the Fringe.

At the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Our other show has started properly. Yeah, we've done four of emergency broadcasts. Very successfully. Well, we got through them, didn't we? Three were brilliant and one wasn't started properly. Yeah, we've done four of emergency broadcasts. Very successfully. Well, we got through them, didn't we? Three were brilliant and one wasn't so great.

Yeah. It was alright, but it wasn't brilliant. Yeah, we're not allowed to say that though because you've got to always say that you're doing really well. So we can't say

that we had a show that we'd consider touch and go. No. Mustn't promote that at all in any way. No, we've got to say they've all been brilliant.

They've all been brilliant. Yeah. And also we found out before the show started recording that there are two dolly birds in the audience who are fighting over me at the moment trying to decide which one... Which one gets you. Which one draws that straw.

And I didn't say it was the short straw because you're very sensitive about your height. I'm not. Do you know what? I'm actually not. I'm not sensitive about my height. But I went, right, because when you're at the Edinburgh Fringe, right, you start Googling yourself.

Loads. And I was doing it last night, and I was, what's the website? The Pilkipedia. Yeah. On the Pilkipedia website, who were very supportive of us and have said lots of nice things about us,

but they're having an ongoing debate about whether I'm an actual dwarf. Like, genuinely. And I was like, what the fuck? First of all, I. And I was like, what the fuck? First of all, I laughed. I was like,

no, this is, they think I am. You're on the cusp. I'm nowhere near the cusp. You're on the cusp. I'm five, six.

Well, you're teetering on the cusp. I'm not. You are. This is what happens when your mum smokes during pregnancy. It's perfectly normal

in the north of England. I was really gutted. I don't know. I think it's the legs because the legs are... What, I think it's the legs, because the legs are... What, you think it's the legs that are making me short? Yeah. Well, that's part of it, isn't it? It's true, because if you look at me now,

B. Cartier's on the podcast if you listen to it, but if you look at me now, I now look tall. I look like I should stand up and be a tall man. But you can, like, see underneath here, I've got, like, a proper little... I nearly said, proper little midge mud legs. I nearly said proper little midge muds legs. I thought how inappropriate would that be? You are at your cutest when you're sitting on a high wall.

And you can just kick your legs having a bag of crisps. Well, I don't care anyway. Because I'll tell you something that happened as well today. Well, you know, I'd have to tell you, but we're so many people. Speak of the ladies, it's nice to meet you both. What were your names? We didn't get your names. Rachel and Emma.

Rachel and Emma. And which one is my one again? Emma is my one and Rachel is Ed's one. Nice one. Nice one. Ed's one. Today we went for a meal. We had a sushi at Number One Sushi.

Number One. Arrogant. Very arrogant. Really arrogant. They called Number One Sushi. It was all right. It was like number four, I think. He might have given me a top three, but they were very friendly.

But they kept speaking to me as if I was speaking wrong. That did sound really awful. That's not how I meant it. That is not in any way how I meant it. That sounded horrific. They kept looking at me. The problem with these people is they look at it like it's me that's doing it wrong.

That's not in any way what I meant. It came out so badly. I know it did, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. No, she looks at me like I don't even know how to say it. It's difficult, isn't it, when you can sometimes be accidentally racist? No. You know as well as I do.

Don't drag me into this. So we decided, we had our sushi and stuff and then we went to the pub straight after that. And in the pub we saw a very very attractive girl she was. Now it wasn't that we were genuinely going to hit on her or anything like that. But we were talking about when in films they send someone a drink. Which I don't know if that even happens in real life where people go, Could you give the lady down there a...

And they go, Yes, it's from the gentleman over there, the gentleman who sent you a martini. They probably email a drink now. Yeah. It's all modern, isn't it, in films? Yeah. Or I'll tweet you a martini. Yeah. Or I'll CGI you a Pepsi. Yeah.

That's probably what they do. Yeah. But we were talking about that and saying, do people do that in real life? And then we had the idea to expand on that. We thought, I wonder if anyone's ever sent somebody over a meal. A full meal. Because that shows that you're more interested, doesn't it?

Because that's got higher value. So what we did, we ordered ourselves, and it was very nice. I can't remember the name of the pub, but we ordered ourselves sausage and mash. We'd just eaten, we were never going to eat it, but we ordered ourselves two sausage and mash. It was like four a night or something. And then we said to the waiter, could you do another sausage and mash? And give it to the lady at the table over there and let her know that it's from us, please.

So we waited. It's hard as well, isn't it? This is what we found. We were full of sushi, but we kept still going with sausages. I'm not even hungry. I'm not even hungry. Well, that's why. That's why we're like this, isn't it?

Yeah, that's why. Can't stop eating a sausage. No, I'm quite lucky I can eat all I want, mate. And not put any weight on. I've reached what Weight Watchers call a plateau. But anyway, we saw the weight. It was a waitress came out with it, and she sort of just went,

and when they gave her the meal, and it was a beautiful face that she'd done, she was like... And she was going, no, no. And she was like, no. Obviously, she was going, the gentleman over there, right? And then me and Ed both got our meals and went... The other thing that's happened as well is, because we have come to Edinburgh Fringe, we got a feeling that we weren't meant to be here.

Yeah. Because at one of our previews, well, you know, you've got a preview show, this is an emergency broadcast show, a plane crashed 100 metres from our gig. Yeah. Like, actually, like, come out of the sky. Two planes hit each other when we were doing our gig. It was on the news and everything. And it was like, well, where was it? Shoreham.

Shoreham, okay. So you can Google it if you want. Yeah. And we thought, God, maybe we were doing our games on the news and everything and it was like well where was it Shoreham Shoreham okay so you can google it if you want yeah and we thought God maybe we're meant to die and then when I was driving home my car exploded my engine blew up yeah so I thought death is following me yeah it's like it's like final destination so we weren't sure and earlier the week earlier I was gonna go on a roller coaster but then I got called off it at the last minute right and then did it crash? Yeah. Wait, which one was this?

In America. You went to a roller coaster in America? Yeah. What was the name of the theme park? Brilliant Theme Park. And what was the roller coaster you were going to go on? Super Fast Looper. Super Fast Looper, and then what happened with Super Fast Looper?

I got on it, and then one of the people was too scared, so they got off it, and all our school trip had to get off. Your school trip? Yeah. You were on a school trip, were you? Yeah, a school trip, so then other people got on, and then we watched it crash, and we were like, oh, shit, this is like, I've just realised

Final Destination 1 and 2 mixed together. I'm going to give you a chance now to say you're lying. I'm going to give you... And you won't be judged. I'm going to give you a chance now to say you're lying. And you won't be judged. I'm going to give you the chance to opt out of this story. I am lying. We were going to have a guest tonight. It was going to be Tim Vine. But I've not got his phone number.

That's brilliant. We're going to have a guest tonight, Barack Obama, we've got to email him. No, well Izzy was going to do it when she is, Izzy Sutty, and then she decided not to. She didn't decide not to, it's something I couldn't do. And then I said, oh, well, I know Tim, because I do the warm-up on Not Going Out.

I'll ask Tim to do it. And that was just showing off and I went, we should ask him to do it, because he was just going, I know Tim Vine, ask him. And then I went, oh, I'm not, I'll ask Tim to do it. And that was just showing off and I went, we should ask him to do it because he was just going, I know Tim Vine. Yeah, ask him then. Yeah, and then I went, oh, I'm not sure I've got his number in my new phone and then I knew but I definitely have never

had it. I've never had it and I, even to you, I made up, I went, oh no, it's my new phone,

isn't it? So he's like, oh no, no, it's not, I've not got it. I'll text Lee Mack and then I went,

oh yeah. And then I got over and not going out was on telly. I actually did text Lee Mac in real life. And I want to put this out on the podcast because he's not replied. Hello, Ray here with two questions. First, are you still up for being on our podcast live show on 28th of August? He'd agreed to do that. Or whatever Sunday you are up. It's at 8.20. And secondly, wanted to get in touch with Tim, but don't appear to have his number. Please may you borrow it me, please Hope writing is going well sir. If in doubt trap all the characters in the flat with a murderer like Cluedo. You're welcome

And I said look no reply. I think we should slug Lee Mack off the channel Yeah, well I've got loads of brilliant stuff today Well, I'm being quite reluctant aren't? Because you want to bring back your sections. We've got Amazing Deaths. We've got two of them. We've got a complaint letter. And we've got a new section I'm doing called Pick Off the Fringe, where I haven't been bothered to look at the Fringe brochure,

but I have decided what I think the best show would be. So is it a real show? No. Oh, right. I don't even have a title for it It's just what I think Like the 40 word blurb Well you'll have to

Oh well we'll read that out a bit But you'll have to quote the title as well The only show I've seen so far Is Gentlemen of Leisure Yeah Which I'd slag off But they are there No look it was actually fantastic

I loved it How did you feel it went? Worst question ever As a performer We got that on Twitter Didn't we once? Yeah Where somebody went How did you think it went? Yeahst question ever as a performer. We got that on Twitter, didn't we once? Where somebody went, how did you think it went? I got a preview and we were like, we know it didn't go particularly well, but why are you

trying to make us say it's shit? Worse than that is no questions or no reference to having done a show. There was somebody who came to our show last night, I think it was last night or the night before, and then I went to the bar over there and he walked it was last night or the night before, and then I went to the bar over there and he walked up to me and went, alright mate, how you doing?

I fucking saw him in the audience and he just came over and went, alright mate, how you doing? Like no reference to... Not a word at all. At least well done or well done for running around and sweating your bollocks off for an hour. No reference to that. Thanks for letting me in on a pass.

Yeah, exactly. It was it, name and shame. I'm not going to name and shame. Name and shame, I'm going to... I'm not going to name and shame because I can't remember his name. So I've got that. So I've got Ed's Fringe Pick, I've got Race as a Food, which is the normal section that we used to do for people who don't know it, which is I will say a food that we have to

do it now. What we would always do is every week I would say a food that you probably had in your life but you had forgotten it existed and then then when I say it, you... I mean, and a snappy title in this. The title of the section was, Ray says a food for you, and then when you hear him say that food... Or drink.

Or drink! Then you will remember it, and you'll go, oh, that is nice, I'll definitely have some of that food for a bit. And this week, for the first live podcast at the Edinburgh Fringe 2011, the food is chewing gum. Chewing gum. Have some chewing gum in your mouth. It's not food.

Get it out of the little packet, put it in your mouth, spit on the table. It's not food or drink it out of the little packet, put it in your mouth, spit on the table. It's not food or drink. Chew it all up. Oh, maybe you have two different chewing gum flavours in one of each side of your cheeks. Chewing gum. Absolutely. Chew it up nice.

Not if you've got bad teeth. It might pull a chunk out. It's not food. Chewing gum. Don't swallow it. It'll make itself into a ball in your stomach and it'll be there forever, all your life. Is that true, Grandma? Yes, it is true.

Where's Grandma? Chewing gum. Buy it from a shop. Chewing gum. Eat it on a train. Chewing gum. Stick it in your mouth. Chewing gum.

Get it in your hair. And then pour... Freeze it, you've got to freeze it. I'm doing it! Pour cold water on it and then it'll come it in your hair. And then put... Freeze it. I'm doing it. Pour cold water on it and then it'll come out in one go. Chewing gum. Good for bones. Chewing gum makes you see in the dark. Chewing gum, put hairs on your chest.

Chewing gum, it's killed a man. What do we want now? Do we want an Amazing Deaths complaint letter or pick off the fringe? We'll do it by cheers and applause. Right, alright then. Right, so, er, what were they? I think I've had a stroke you know yeah i genuinely do so i don't i like sometimes i do you know what listen to this for weird i was in the shower the other day right that's not it right i was in the shower the other day and i had this is what's bizarre about it and i had i literally thought what, why did I come in here?

You know when you go into a room and go, why did I come in here? I didn't even shower! I was going, I don't even remember coming in here! I had all the clothes off and that! I think historically through my family things like that happen all the time. My mum was on it, I didn't even tell you, my mum rang me today and answered it. And she went, how's it going? How's it getting on? I went, it's alright. So we had one show that we went there afterwards, we did it for them, really, really nice, really, really enjoyed it. And then she went how's it going how's it getting on I went it's all right so we had a one show that we went that up with but the other three have been really really nice

we really enjoyed them and then she went all right have you got any reviews I went no we're not looking not that I know and are you ready for it I went yeah I think we're just doing the podcast now we're just planning it now what we're you know what we're going to talk about and then in silence and I went um it's raining a lot and she went outside and I went, yeah. Mainly outside, Mum. Yeah, mainly outside. She did get it right, though, first time. Yeah.

The choices were Amazing Deaths, Complaint Letter, or Ed's Pick Off The Fringe, which is awful, Ed's Pick Off The Fringe. All right, we'll do it. Ray's Fringe Pick, Ed's Fringe Pick, sorry. Because I've got one as well. Ed's Fringe Pick. You're my Fringe Pick, sorry. Because I've got one as well. S Fringe Pick. You're my Fringe Prick.

And what's the other one? And then we'll do Complete Letter, and then you can do your death, and then that is the end, and then we'll all go home. Absolute waste of money. Pick up the Fringe. So I've not read the Fringe brochure, I just think this will be a good show. The Israel-Palestine conflict has been raging for ages. But perhaps it can be solved with the power of rap.

So whoever you are... Even as you're saying this, I'm thinking, I'm going to go and watch this. And I know it's not real. So whoever you are, throw down your burkas and your milkers. Grab a mic and spit the rhythms of peace. Special booty cameo

by the Gaza strippers. So that's it. You're only allowed 40 words in the French brochure. Isn't that included in the title though? What's it called? I don't know yet. Why don't we come up

with a title for it now? Because it will inevitably be extremely racist. OK, so the complaint letters. Now, I thought I'd written one. Yeah. Again, this goes back to my stroke. I think... Right. Do you know what I did last night? Hang on, mate. Calm down.

Listen, right. In my sleep... Again, I'm not saying this. In my sleep... Right, have you ever done a weird thing in your sleep? Yeah. Like... LAUGHTER Yeah. I don't know if I've said that on the podcast before, but I once, in my sleep, woke up, when I was a teenager,

I woke up and I was so disorientated and I was like, oh, I've got a really dry mouth, and I've told you this before, and there was a tin of shaw deodorant next to my bed, and my grandma came in, she brought me a cup of tea, and she went, there's a cup of tea for you,ant next to my bed. And my grandma came in. She brought me a cup of tea. And she went, there's a cup of tea for you. So I was getting up for school. And I was so disorientated.

I got the shaw deodorant, put my finger on the nozzle, and sprayed it into my mouth. Even when I'm saying it, I can still taste it now. It was absolutely horrific. But it's not like that's a proper mix-up, isn't it? Because it's not like you're... Yeah, because I didn't do that. I'm like, I'm spraying it.

Your grandma usually brings you tea in an aerosol can. I know! I know! I just spray my tea in my mouth. But last night, right, I think this is worse. Because I fell asleep on my bed, which is memory foam, which we think is what put my back up the other day. I was watching stuff on my computer and I just fell asleep. And then I woke up and went, I don't want to be on,

and I put music on, on my iTunes, with the iTunes visualiser, and fell asleep again. And then in the middle of the night, and this made perfect sense to me, I went onto iTunes Store, and I bought... LAUGHTER Honestly, God, right? Two John Updike audiobooks, right?

No, I like John Updike, but they were £12.95 each. I bought two of them. I bought the official soundtrack to Superman the movie, which I've already got. And I bought a Lady Gaga album. Right? Who I've got no knowledge of at all, other than I saw a poster of her yesterday

and went, oh, that's quite sexy. Yeah. And I've obviously dreamt about them going, I'm going to buy her an almond. I've got a similar story, which you probably shouldn't include in the podcast, but at the Fringe four years ago, I

woke up after drinking a lot. I'd been out with my dad getting pissed and I woke up and I'd bought Lee Nelson tickets. It was literally like I woke up and they were just lying on my pillow and I woke up and went, oh no! So the complaint letters, we did them a while ago we stopped doing them we write complaint letters to companies

to try and get free stuff under the guise of being Mrs Fraser who's a mum in her family and their son is very ill to try and get sympathy to get free stuff. So, and it is as horrific as it sounds. It's actually, do you know what, it's actually more horrific than it sounds I think. Do you think? Yeah, I genuinely do. Okay, so this is the complaint letter I've written especially for this. Dear The Fringe, Hello there, you massive prick.

My name is Mrs Fraser, and I am an actual woman in a family. A couple of days ago, me and my family came to Edinburgh to watch The Fringe. Imagine my surprise when we discovered that The Fringe isn't just one show, but a series of shows across the whole of the city.

What a fucking mess of an idea that is. across the whole of the city. What a fucking mess of an idea that is. How are people supposed to choose? Wouldn't it be better just to do one show and people can just do a minute each or something? Then you would get an idea of what people are doing but don't have to sit through a whole shitting hour of it. Why does everything have to be a venue?

Everywhere you look there is another venue springing up. I tried to talk to a waitress in a cafe about this yesterday, but she couldn't answer me because the inside of her mouth has been turned into a venue. I was angry at the time, but did manage to pop in and see a homeless theatre production of Special Brew Macbeth, which was enjoyable. If you want... If you... if you want to see it, it is on at Se sea mouth every time the waitress yawns. You're gone weird with this one, aren't you?

That's the last mention of that. There are just too many shows on. How do you expect us to make the choice? We are a small family. It is just me, my husband, who is a lovely duck impressionist. And our terminally ill son, Fraser. Yes, I have a terminally ill son. You've started listening to the complaint now, haven't you?

Don't worry, I'm not angry. Just because he is ill, it doesn't stop him being a dick. Obviously, having Fraser means that we can't see some of the millions of shows because many of the venues are not wheelchair accessible. We tried our hardest to convince Fraser to let us have a go at pushing him down the underbelly steps, but he kept dribbling no. Just remembered why we stopped this session. Also we can't see a lot of the shows because I fucking hate improvised comedy.

because I fucking hate improvised comedy. Fuck off! Isn't that awful? You say that and they're watching one moment. Yeah, fucking totally! Now, aside from the amount of shows and venues, my main complaint to you, the fringe, is the heat of the venues.

They are bloody boiling, especially Seamouth, which is also very humid. It wasn't the last mention of that. I just remembered I did do a callback to the thing that didn't work. The reason I am jazzing ink everywhere on this paper face is that we had a little incident with Fraser at a recent trip to the Peacock & Gamble emergency broadcast which is a Peacock & Gamble's double act show that they are doing every night and not a podcast, despite the amount of people who keep coming up to Ed

and saying, how is the podcast going? Oh, is it not a podcast? Oh, I thought it was a podcast. But they are fucking idiots, and the next person to make that mistake is going to get kicked in the road, and their corpse will be given three stars some funny bits. Right. Anyway, there we were watching the P&G emergency broadcast, laughing so hard, it is a warm room in the Pleasants...

It is a warm room in the Pleasants Jackdome at 10.50pm, it is, but when it was so busy with all the fit women and the BBC, it was roasting like an oven when you're doing a roast. Is that, have you written doing when you're doing the roast? It's just got to get the point across. Fraser was there, clapping and laughing away at the bits he understood, but I could see him getting warmer and warmer. At about halfway through the show, his throat melted. Just melted right off. Oh dear, I thought, and carried on watching the show. When the brilliant show had finished, and everyone was streaming out of the venue, lives changed

and worlds rocked, we took Fraser home to get his neck in the freezer. It didn't really work properly and now he has a Kruger neck. It's sort of a mixture between a turkey's neck and an old lady's frue. So our family will need some compensation. In the meantime we will take him out to the Royal Mile and parade him around for money as the incredible Turkey Vaginet boys. Love and spunk Mrs Fraser. Lovely man. Nice one man. Okay well this is Ed's Amazing Deaths. I used to do Ed's Amazing Births, where I talked about amazing births.

And this is Ed's Amazing Deaths. This is a banned section. Well, it's banned, yeah, but we're going to do it because we're controversial. Well, it's not that. It's that you're indignant. I don't want to do it as a section. I actually genuinely find it a little bit bothersome. Yeah, but we're bringing it back now just for Edinburgh Fringe. While you're doing this, I think I'll record our

video blog. Right. Just, I'll do that while you're doing it. Right, okay. That's alright. What, are you going to record your face? What, are you going to say things? Hello! This is our video blog, coming live from Edinburgh. Mate, it's not going to work, because if I've got to read stuff out, it's going to be distracting.

Here we are now, in our venue, with all the audience over there. Yeah, quickly, don't show them the MC6! to read stuff out that's going to be distracting. Here we are now in our venue with all the audience over there. There they are. Yeah, quickly. Don't show them the MC6.

And we're just recording the podcast at the moment. Right, well we're not. We've stopped because you're doing a video blog. Nothing very eventful

has happened. Three people just left because they've got tickets for Rich Hall. I don't know who that is. It's Moe after Simpsons. It's who? Moe off The Simpsons. Moe off The Simpsons.

They've gone to see Moe off The Simpsons. Ed Gamble's just over there. Hello, I've got to do this now, mate, so you've got to stop doing that. Yeah, I know, but can we just say, I mean, that's the video blog, but I just hope that all the audience have just all seen that I have got a flip.

This is what they call a flip video camera. Very expensive. But if I use it on stage, it is tax deductible. And see you tomorrow. It's a brilliant blog, mate. I don't even know how that works. This one's a good one because it happened in Edinburgh.

Okay. This is's a good one because it happened in Edinburgh. Okay. This is your death? Yeah. Debbie Mills New Broughton, 99 years old was killed as she crossed the road. She was to be 100 the next day and was crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party. Her wheelchair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.

So that is mental isn't it? And how frustrated must she have been what would she have been how would she be like that's ironic wouldn't it i don't think she would have known that the truck had a i don't think she when she got hit by it because she was old she you think she didn't know what was going on they're cleverer than you think somebody's old when when did that happen 2003 oh so nice and recent then. So you don't... Imagine someone was in it going, that's my mother.

If it was their mother, I think they'd be probably on the way as well. Why? 2003, 100, like they'd be knocking on, wouldn't they? But she'd be like, her baby when she was like 30. Good point, Scotland, innit?

So, I've got another one. Whoa. I've got another one. This. I've got another one. This one's not in Edinburgh. This one was in Northumberland. A bit further away. A man beheaded himself with a homemade guillotine.

Was he a magician? No, real thing. The body of Boyd Taylor, and I thought, I put in brackets here, Boyd is an anagram of body, so is it really any surprise that he died? No, do you know, just stop. And just repeat the sentence that you've just said.

The body of Boyd Taylor, brackets, Boyd is an anagram of body, so is it really any surprise that he died? Is it, if his name's Body? All right, so imagine, right? You're doing an essay now at university, right? You've come in 100 words short on your essay and you're looking for bits to expand on. Expand on that bit and explain that. Explain what you've just said.

So his name's Boyd. No, don't just repeat what you've said. No, I'm saying anagram, mix all the letters up. I know what an anagram is. You swapped the D and the Y. You got up to fucking hell, mate. You swapped the D and the Y. You were writing an essay and you were going,

an anagram, brackets, which is when you mix all the letters up. Go on. Body. No, I know. His body was found. I just think that's a bit weird that his name is Body, Boyd, which is like body if you mix the two last three letters around, and his body was found.

Right. So he's called Boyd, and that's his parents. If they'd wanted him to live longer, they would have called him, like, Livia, which is a... LAUGHTER Which, er, yeah. Yeah. Which I believe is a spread for ensemble business, isn't it?

So he was found in Northumberland by his father, whose fault it was, cos he called him... What was his father's name? Dad. I'm trying to think of an anagram of dad, but it just ended up as dad again. It's weird that his father was a dad. That is weird, isn't it? Apparently, he used an electrical timer

and paving stones to weigh down the blade, and he built it eight foot by three foot. Was this suicide? Yeah. What the fuck? And it come down... No, hang on. Well, this isn't an amazing death.

Mate, he... Look, he really must have wanted to do it. No, but it's not an amazing death. He based it on the French Revolution. Yeah, I know. That is a fact. This was in a book. This was in a book.

I can't believe he found out, halfway through this, that it wasn't... It's not a death, it a book. I can't believe we found out, halfway through this, that it was, it's not a death, it's suicide. I said at the beginning, beheaded himself with a homemade guillotine. Yeah, but we thought,

oh God, how on earth did he manage to do that? It must be an horrible situation. But what I don't know. What things conspired to make, it's like Brian Harvey falling out of his car. What weird things conspired to make such an odd thing happen? You're going,

no, he did it on purpose. No, but listen, this is the on purpose. No, but listen, this is the weird bit now coming up. He set a timer and laid down waiting for the timer, but he was on an airbed. Why do you need to be comfy for that? Have a quick sleep.

And I can say, and it was the day before he was driving a birthday cake truck. And then that all links together. Literally the most absolute shit I've ever heard in my entire life. Oh, thank you very much for coming. I've been Ray Peacock. And I've been Ed Gamble. Thank you.

The Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by The Tiger Lilies, except for the last one, which is performed by Frank Sidebottom. The Peacock and Gamble podcast is a ready production hosted by Chortle.co.uk. See you next week. What would I be? Right, well, she's obsessed with your hand in plastic cast and put in the back of a van? Right. Do we get a say in this?

Are we going to be fucking hit around the back of the head with your hand in plastic cast and put in the back of a van? Welcome to the first podcast live. I'm the only one. The next three are going to be cancelled because unfortunately we're going to be missing.