The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Ashley Verma: Toxic Teenage Boyfriends

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Who grew up in small town America with dreams of making it big on Broadway? Ashley Verma from the wonderful The Bizzimumzi podcast that's who! Ashley joins The Phonebox Podcast to chat about growing up in the states, her love of local radio and Jordan Catalano.Listen to Ashley and I chatting on her Bizzmumzi Podcast here or go and follow her on instagram here.Grab your tickets to The Phonebox Podcast Christmas quiz here! https://10yearsofbrum.eventbrite.co.ukFor more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok and follow the all new @phoneboxpodcast account on InstagramIf you have any guest suggestions, topics you would like me to cover or send in a Christmas story voice note to be featured, email [e-mail] and be sure to tag so I can see where you are listening!Editing by Soundtruism. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the PhoneBots podcast with me, Emma Conway. Hi, the devil are you? I hope you are well. I'm not sure when you're listening to this, but I need you to know, if you're listening in November, I've got my tree up. Is that too early? If you're listening in December, I've got my tree up. Is that too early? If you listen in December, I've got my tree up.

Isn't that amazing? I'm so thrilled. The tree is up and we're going to be doing some Christmas festive additions. I've got some great guests lined up for you in December. And I want to hear you. I want to hear your actual voice on the podcast. I want you to voice note and you can email a voice note to admin at Bromley of to dot co dot uk i'll leave a you know all the details in the description i want to hear your daft family traditions funny 80s and 90s festive stories please please voice note them in or direct

message them in put your name your age you don't have to put your name and age like it's going live or something like my names's it's michelle from coventry age 10 would like to ask and also i need you all to know i actually asked a question i think it was on live and kicking to jason donovan can't remember what it was it's either going live or live and kicking anyway i digress send in send me in some stuff so i can pop it in the christmas edition of the. On this week's edition, we have Ashley, who's a top podcaster. She has a parenting podcast called Busy Mumsy. I will leave a link in the description box so you can go and check her podcast out. She interviews women all

over the world about parenting, and she's an absolute joy in your ears. So definitely go and check her out. So let's welcome Ashley to the podcast. Oh, well, I am bloody good, darling. And I don't have a British accent, everyone. Oh, my God, I'm so American. I like that. It was a little bit Dick Van Dyke then in Mary Poppins. Listen, I'm so Mary Poppins when it comes to it. I can't help it. So where did you grow up? Were you a teenager in America then? Yeah, I was born and raised in Moundsville, West Virginia, named after the largest man-made mound.

You are welcome for that information. What does that mean? I always like to say I'm also from a town that's also well-known for its state penitentiary. All right. How big is a mound? I don't understand. How big is a mound? What is a mound, right?

Emma, I'm going to change your life mound right now Emma I'm gonna change your life today I'm just gonna change your life so the mound is essentially an Indian burial in the center of town okay I don't know that much else about it it's just a like a mound that perhaps is like 10 stories high if that and as a kid when I was like in elementary school, like we would have to go to a field trip and he would be like going down to the mound and then he would like walk through and see like dinosaur bones and all that kind of stuff. And then he would walk out and up onto the mound that what did it look over? Not only the town of Moundsville, but it also looked at the state penitentiary. So they were literally across the street from each other and the state penitentiary was huge

and massive and it housed um old sparky which was an electric chair and we actually did a tour over there but you were only allowed to go in like a very very tiny little section of it because at the time when i was a kid it was functioning because I can vividly remember this as well before when I was 14 years old and in 1994 it was like years prior to that there was a big escape where these guys dug a tunnel through like underneath the toilet they dug a tunnel and like 12 inmates got out and were running around town. Up and down the mound? What's that on the mound? I don't. It's one of the inmates. It's like, it's up and down the mound and up and over the hills. I mean, like we were like surround,

so Moundsville was like surrounded by like hills, but town was like two streets. So it's not like it was that, that. So it's a small a small town America yeah by a mound a very big jail where they had an electric chair you are painting an absolute glamorous picture what kind of stuff was on your bedroom walls I did not have posters oh my I know don't judge me so I my mom was like a neat freak and very much like everything was in order. So like I had really plush, like lovely blue carpet that went with the wallpaper. That was kind of like Laurel with hearts. I grew up in this old Victorian home. That was like my dad's like dream house. And and it honestly it wasn't

something that my parents could afford at the time it was a really big stretch to the point that like our rooms like we didn't even have like furniture in like half the rooms in the house like it was a huge house but like I can remember like our rooms got decorated first it was like a really big deal for my mom to like oh lovely like pride and joy yeah yeah it was like very meticulously thought out like I had a like a um you know like a like a seat like along the windows that like my mom's like you could read a book there's like I didn't read books there but like you could read a book there and like it was just really well done and super pretty. And it wasn't, it wasn't something probably that I took a lot of like time now in hindsight, like thinking about like, gosh,

like she really like had curtains and like, it was a fancy bed and like all that kind of stuff. My dad made me a, like a walk, I got like a walk-in closet that had like a desk in it that had like theater lights so I was a I was a dancer like my whole life so like I had theater lights that went all the way around my mirror and I would like sit in this um little desk area and I would sing and practice like lines and like it was kind of like my like it just sounds as a British teenager we didn't have that yeah we didn't have none of that and in our heads when we'd watch tv shows like Beverly Hills 90210 or Blossom the kids the teenagers in America used to have these massive gorgeous bedrooms and it sounds like what you described we didn't have that have that. We don't have walking wardrobes. That

seems much more common in America than in England. It was beautifully done. My dad was a contract, he built a business. He became a, had a contracting business. So like I watched my parents from a very, very, very young age, we were on food stamps and everything. And as time went on, my dad worked his tail off like yes it was naughty of me to really not appreciate the amazing wallpaper that my mom put on the walls but like there's never been a day that's gone by that I for one don't look at them and go my goodness they grafted I was very very much a competition dance kid I first started in ballet and did a lot of training in New York City so I

started going to New York as a kid and then kind of had to make this decision of do I want to do ballet or do I want to do musical theater like competition dance that room that I talked about that had no furniture in it I danced in it yeah oh it sounds beautiful did they did they stay in the house for a long time so my parents I mean it was like one of those big decisions, like we're going to downsize. So my parents sold the house early 2000s, I want to say is like when they sold it and they like, they moved from this like massive, like four bedroom Victorian home to like, you know, a really sweet, like kind of like one level house with like three bedrooms. And it was super sweet and lovely. My father passed sadly, suddenly in 2018. So my mom shifted and I were so proud of her for doing it. She shifted her whole life down to Florida.

Yeah. Is that where you've got, is there a family down there in Florida? No, actually. It's just like the weather. My mom does not do any sort of weather now that's like under 20. Yeah. She's like, absolutely not. So London last week for her would have not been. It's freezing. It's hilarious. See in England, if it gets to 21, we've got our shorts on I know you are you kidding me Emma when I first moved to London let me just say 2016 it was January I would say at the end of January it we had a warm spell and I've never seen naked people I say that like jokingly of like people were stripped down i was like i was like babe babe why are they what it's like i'm like still in like you know bundled all the way up he's like yeah they're it's wild here sun comes out and men take the tops off and just popping into the supermarket

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Okay, so you weren't allowed posters. What kind of music did you listen to? If you couldn't put posters up or bands up, what kind of music did you like?

Okay, so I will give you a huge confession that I was a radio gal. I listened to the radio morning, noon, and night. We're going to go back into my closet. I literally, my closet had a boom box above my like makeup station with all of the lights. So I had my boom box up there and I was always listening to the radio. I was very eclectic when it came to music. I listened to all things country because I am from West Virginia. So it's like Faith Hill, John Michael Montgomery, Tim McGraw. Like they like always pulled at my heartstrings.

But then we're also talking about a time where like I was born and bred listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I won six tickets because I was the 10th caller of Womp FM and I got those tickets to go Womp FM was the radio station that I listened to and every okay this is good oh my god I'm such a dork but like I loved a Friday night stay at home and listen to the top 10 countdown yeah well you still listen though you're the best and then you would write it down and then they would be like, okay, we're going to play the number one song. And then you got the 10th callers going to win. Emma, I was always the 10th caller. I won everything from new kids on the block, like, like boxer shorts and t-shirts and buttons to Tom Petty and the heartbreaker tickets. That was my first ever concert. But that was when I was 12.

So when I was 14, we're talking like, I mean, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Endless Love. Oh, good. See, I've got my Madonna t-shirt on. Here she is. She's just popping up, looking at you. I mean, like 94, like I'm 14. I turned, so my birthday is November 30th.

So I was going to be turning in, in 94, 14 and like 94 was like such a like melting pot of music, Tupac and Biggie and like Nirvana was coming to the end. Like Kurt Cobain passed away in 94. Like, I mean, there was so much like decadent music and culture and like, we were pulled and tugged in so many directions during that time period that I, I mean, I just love to sit in my closet and listen to music. And listen to one person as is BRMB. And i used to phone up i think we were living the same life or i'd be phoning it up all the time and he'd be like all right emma and yeah you've won a i don't know a pepsi seven inch of some sort of rubbish song i'd be like dedicating so could you

dedicate a song to my class please and they do this is snow informer for emma for emma in yardley oh my gosh and i would always call in tune be like can i just hear some sound garden could you pop in some sound garden now they're like oh it was so good we also had this thing that was like a ryan seacrest yeah so he did like all of your like pop stuff but there was a there was also this other radio station that had Delilah After Dark oh Delilah yeah and she would play like soft rock music and my mother and I would sing everything in harmonies oh I love it you you sound like the American Dream everything one per fem American dream Mansville American dream big bedroom it's Delilah after dark it sounds amazing like I always listen

to Michael Jackson yeah he didn't go anywhere I always listen to Gloria Gaynor she didn't go anywhere like they all just like they I grew up idolizing all of these people and like, but lucky me, I got to like live in 94 where like all of this like change and diversity and, you know, like it was kind of like this weird time too, where country music was like grabbing pop music and it shifted or pop stars were grabbing country music. You know, I mean, Dolly Parton led the way on that one. Actually, speaking of Dolly Parton, that was when Whitney Houston sang I Will Always Love You. Oh, I'm going to see the Bodyguard musical soon. I can't wait to see it.

The Bodyguard was such a great. Yeah. I mean, that's a Dolly Parton song. Like she wrote that. And I think Dolly Parton wrote I Will Always Love You and another song on the same day. Did you like boy bands? Because obviously over here, we had Take That.

You didn't have Take That in America. Have you ever heard of Take That? I did not know much about Take That, but I am currently watching the Robbie Williams documentary. And to be very honest with you, I have a completely new outlook on him because I will have to say, I wasn't the

biggest fan when he was in America he wasn't my vibe but I yeah love him now like because you see you see those hard edges really soften and you see him come to life and you see how he sees himself and I just I I found it very commendable for him to be so vulnerable, so raw, so real, but like able to be like, ah. Yeah. It's fascinating how sometimes British music and American music, like it just doesn't go across because hey, that was so huge here and not at all in America. And Backstreet Boys were big here, but I think Backstreet Boys and New Kids are probably a bit bigger in America. Yeah, I mean, New Kids on the Block

would have been more the time of take that. Yeah. And then Backstreet Boys came with the whole NSYNC. Yes, NSYNC, that's it. NSYNC weren't quite as popular. Because I think that American boy bands, the men always look really old compared to British boy bands.

They're a bit more baby faced well you know I so I worked with the Backstreet Boys on a project like oh lovely yeah like right before I moved to London so like 2015 I want to say is when I worked on a Backstreet Boys project because they were doing kind of like this we're coming back together and we're going to do this show in Vegas so like we did this whole like workshop thing in New York city on it. And they were lovely. Like they were and Brian was pretty much spearheading the whole thing. And he and his wife and his little boy, his little boy, super talented. They just all were very much like collaborative and were very passionate about this project and they

went on to tour and everything again and I think even 98 Degrees is touring they did not come to Britain at all we know that's just not and like O-Town and people like that it just wasn't it just wasn't a thing um but we did have take that did you have one particular favorite boy band or you just liked all music I liked all I'm so sorry to be that person to say, I really just loved all music. And it does be like a melting pot of stuff. Even when I recently traveled back to London, I mean, I had a crazy wild country playlist that I made up a couple of nights prior. And it was like, you know, soul searching to like honky tonk to like, let's throw some beers back to like smooth and like

guttural. Yeah. I don't think country is quite as popular in England. I don't know why. I mean, we have the odd thing here and there, but it's not quite as, I suppose we have a bit more like in the nineties, a bit more like indie music was probably quite like blur and oasis. Who was your 90s crush? I love a 90s crush. Can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess? Based on what we've had so far, would it be Leonardo no no no jared leto oh in my so-called life yeah i you have to understand i was a flannel i went through my flannel period oh claire danes i was jealous of her like jealous i love her though but jealous and oh my god jared leto that floppy hair he held her hand walking down the corridor and we all just yes and they only ever did one season why why did it stop why did the program stop it should have gone on you know there there was another there was another um show and i want to say it

was around the same time and it was called catwalk and it had not seen it it had nev campbell in it okay jared leto had like the piercing eyes and just he was perfect he was he is perfect fine but like this guy in this other show he had like more like mystery in the tattoos and like he had an eyebrow piercing oh I would come home and I'm getting my eyebrow pierced. I'm getting, I'm doing it. I'm just doing it. And I'm like, take me to Spencer's. Cause that's where like you would go to the mall in America and there would be a Spencer's somewhere. And like, that's where you would get pierced. And I was like, you are not getting a tap. You are not, you're just not doing it. Like you're not getting the

piercing. Well, what if I win this dance competition can I get the eyebrow pierced she was like absolutely not I know you're going to win that thing I mean like I'm like I never have like I'm I like very bland in this department no tattoos and no grandiose piercings I unfortunately I I did just go and get a tattoo because the Spice Girls had one so one day I just went instead of going to uni I just went and got a Spice Girls tattoo on my shoulder classic and my dad nearly had a heart attack I was like I always ask I know this is like such a silly question like did it hurt you know what it does I had one on my shoulder which wasn't too bad I had one on my foot

which I thought was gonna faint and I had one here um it's fine I'd have I'll probably have another one I don't I I'm I quite like it because once you've had it done you're like oh I could just have another one now you know like that adrenaline like kicks in but yeah I got a spice girl like tramp stamp on my shoulder in the sign of woman Chinese symbol classic is it does it say woman I don't know could say anything but I got it done and my dad nearly collapsed um so Gerard Leto 10 out of 10 gorgeous remember Party of Five as well that just that had Neve Campbell in didn't it it did have it did I can't um wasn't there like a Scott something in that show as well because there was two there was two brothers they were handsome weren't, wasn't there like a Scott something in that show as well? Because there was two, there was two brothers that were handsome, weren't they?

Wasn't there like a Scott Speedman? Do you remember him? No. I think Scott Speedman was like, he was one of the hunk of hunks back then. There was also this, so there was Party of Five. Yeah. There was also this one that was always on Sundays

and it was a bit more wholesome than Party of Five. And I can this one that was always on Sundays and it was a bit more wholesome than Party of Five and I can't remember the name of that one so like TV it was like you know Friends was like a huge boom then too yeah like you know 94 is like when everyone got their hair cut like Rachel like that was did you watch Sex in the City as well that was all around that time wasn't it it so I didn't watch Sex in the city until it was in reruns I did not watch friends until it was in reruns I was never home when like well I was technically too young to watch sex in the city time but when it came to friends friends was always on on a Thursday night and I had dance so I wouldn't get home till 11, 1130 at night. So I would always miss it. So luckily, TBS, like always, you know, they always play the reruns.

So it was like Friends and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Like those were like, and Saved by the Bell. That was another big one. Oh, just Saved by the Bell. And all of them cracking theme tunes as well. Every single one of them. If you were around in the night, those theme tunes are just embedded into your body and you can be bringing it out in west for that you can bring it at any time it just comes out with my i love it and family matters that was another one but those were all so like family matters was on a friday night that could watch

sunday night was my so-called life so i could could watch that. That was also married with children. Yeah. I didn't watch that, but that's quite an American program, isn't it? Yeah. We were like hook, line and sinker. That was kind of like, if you had your, if you had your homework done, you can stay up an extra hour longer and you can watch married with children. Yeah. So I've not, maybe I should give it a go. I quite like to start friends from the beginning again with my daughter.'re watching Gilmore Girls at the moment oh I think friend yeah it's really nice when you when your little girl gets but that is a nice thing to do because also it hasn't really even though it's 20 years old it's I mean some of the jokes some of

the some of the things they say sometimes you might oh like you go well that wouldn't we wouldn't be saying and I have to say we don't say things like that anymore um but yeah friends I'd quite like to watch from the beginning so um we've covered crush you've covered telly what's your biggest fashion faux pas what did you wear then you'd be like oh I really love like the whole flannel like grungy kind of vibe yeah my mom so we kind of had like a push and pull on the kind of preppy look so we had a store in America called the limited and they would sell like the matching the matchy match so like you have like the sweater that had like the the popped color underneath it and then maybe it had like a schoolgirl skirt or like like clueless are we talking

clueless it's kind of like that vibe so like one day I could go to school looking like a full-on skater girl like pants down past my butt and just flannel and then the next day my I would be wearing a very preppy and I just I it just was weird and I just never felt connected to it but I wore it so I mean the those matchy outfits they were just bad like yeah I even had a perm like I'm not gonna like let's I had a perm I had a perm as well it was terrible I had a perm I'm known I'm not going to like, let's not. I had a perm. I had a perm as well. It was terrible. I had a perm. I'm known for wearing side ponytails. I was obsessed with the perfect ball on the side of my head.

Fashion was like a very weird one back then. This is like when Skechers, those Mary Jane shoes were really in at the time. I think they're in now, but like. I bought some shoes yesterday that were literally carbon copies of the school shoes I had in the 90s like loafers um do you know what no I love them I let my followers were like they're terrible but I was like do you know what I love them I'm gonna rock them anyway yeah I I had a really wicked pair of two-tone brown Doc Martens. Oh yeah, I love them. And I walked by the store while I was in London recently and everything in there, I'm sorry to say this,

but I'm going to say it, looked cheap and very poorly made. My Doc Martens could have weathered many fires. Like they were hard, heavy duty, did not bend. And I like worshiped the ground that these shoes walked on because I just thought they were the coolest thing ever. But I don't think a lot of people thought they were cool. I was kind of like mocked a lot in school because I did wear weird things. Like I, I definitely leaned into the whole, like, you know, like the shoulders are

cut out of the shirt. Yeah. Oh, I leaned into that for years that was my jam like I had a farmer's tan with brown shoulders and white at the top and white white lines around the side of my arms so like I just wasn't really afraid I actually just didn't care that's good isn't it that's is that something you've carried on into adult life you're not quite so bothered or yeah I I like a pattern you love a pattern looks great thanks I I love pattern I love color I my husband will sometimes like look at my closet and go it's just like all the same I'm like well it's not it's like you've got like your red versions and then you've got your orange and then you got your yellow I just can't help it I like a lot of leopard print I can't love a leopard print all sorts of varieties

I just love it different colors it's my favorite right let's talk first kiss was it terrible was it was it uh we've not we've only had one that wasn't terrible on the podcast so far um okay it it was Zach and we'll leave it at Zach. Okay, Zach. Very American name as well. Zach. I like it. I'm thinking of Zach from Saved by the Bell. But the kiss, I can remember it happening. And this was took off running. Like he took like, he, he had on like these, like old, like these sweat pants that had like the elastic at the bottom. But at the time it was really cool to pull them up to your knees. Nice. And then once we're into like, you know, 94, 14 years old, I did have a boy. I had a boyfriend and he was an older boyfriend.

It was great. That was a great. Oh, that's good. I'll give him that. I mean, I won't give I won't give him a boyfriend award. I won't say that he was. He doesn't win awards for any of that, but the kiss was nice at the time.

He had great lips. He was super handsome. But in the long scale picture of it, he was an absolute dick. We all have to have an absolute rotter of a boyfriend. It's just, it's just the rite of passage it's yeah it's rare to not have that I've had several absolute I tended to go for ones that I tended to go for boys I thought I could change I can make him better don't we all okay so he's mean and he's

moody and he's horrible but not he won't be with me because I can make, and spoiler listeners, didn't make them change. Yeah, no, it does. It's really sad. I, you know, that particular kiss, that particular guy, I worshipped the ground that he walked on. I actually wore his football jersey. So I had on like, like a tan, like a light tan shorts. And I remember his mom giving me his jersey and she like put this on. I was like, and it's bright green and yellow and white. And I had red tube socks. Nice. It was awful. I looked like a Christmas tree. I, I, I know that he was embarrassed because he told me how embarrassed he was that I looked like that.

He was like, like you obviously like you should have wore jeans. Like you should have had jeans on and like sneakers. Like, why are you wearing like boat shoes with red tube socks and like khaki shorts? I was like, uh, well it went with my, my top and like, I thought it was fashionable and I wasn't look, it was, it was a very bad toxic relationship. I walked in on him cheating on me with another girl. And the best part of the story that I can leave with you is that yes he he he took her virginity and he took her virginity on my white windbreaker what's a windbreaker it's a coat oh my coat happened to be thrown in there in his bedroom and my white windbreaker from the limited where I got my mom

bought all my other clothing from you know all those matchy matchy outfits Emma uh-huh yeah my very classic preppy white windbreaker now was completely ruined we don't like him he's a rotter I had my first boyfriend um would get his finger and put it up against my lips in front of all his friends and go and now if somebody did that I'd get their finger and I'd just snap it off but then yeah it's where you yeah you all have to go through this and it is just a rite of passage I'm expecting my kids when they get into teenage I'm trying to make my boy you know trying to instill in my boy I feel as a responsibility as a boy mom to instill a bit of like, you know, we don't treat people like that. So I'm trying, I'm trying to do the job, but.

I'm going to somehow, I feel like AI is going to come up with something where I can just take my daughter and she gets encapsulated in something and she stays three and a half for the rest of her life. I don't wish upon her, her teenage years. Obviously I want her to grow and flourish and everything, but I hope that by the time that she hits that age, that the world is nicer. I have a fear it's going to get worse. I do too. I do too. And it's, it's, it's quite sad. I've, I've, I feel bad. I absolutely love the time period that I grew up in. I, I feel really lucky in the town

that I grew up in. I, you know, my mom would especially would always say to me, well, do you wish that we just would have moved to New York? Like we, like we should have gotten you into like broad. Like I, I made like my Broadway debut, like when I was like 19 years old. So she is like, well, you could have done Annie and you could have been a kid. Like you, you could have been a lot younger and done that whole gamut. And I was like, no, like the way that that life unfolded for me and, and how like my career, like went up, down and all around was exactly how it was supposed to be. Like, I don't, like I grew up fast. My parents allowed me to grow up fast and I don't regret that.

Yeah. Are you glad you grew up then then? That's what I'm, I don't, you wouldn't want to grow up now. I would not want to grow up now. And I, all I can do is that for me, like I came from, I'm very lucky to say I came from a very loving and nurturing family. And it wasn't easy for my dad to like, say, I love you, but I knew that he loved me. Like I, like I knew that and he was there and he was present for, you know, the times that I needed him to be. And so for my husband and I, um, you know, we just, we want to just love and nurture our child and be there for her and just help her through it. Like with, like, I made a million and one mistakes and I did not make life easy for my parents at times, for sure.

And I'm just lucky that they've just stood by me the whole way through. And that's all I can do for this child that's going to be embarking on some really wild times. Yeah. She's still little. Well, Erin's coming up to 13. I'm getting to the wild. I am sitting here watching and taking notes. I am watching and taking notes with popcorn. Do you know what? So far, touch wood. I've only got like a fake wood table. she's she's a good girl I mean you know there's there's moments and stuff but she's a good girl but it is a lot I was talking to my

friend yesterday who's got a child similar age and we were saying I feel like they actually need and needing us more at this stage of life and it's much busier and it's much more um organizing you have to get things this that and it's a lot more and it's much more organizing. You have to get things, this, that. And it's a lot more frantic now they're older. I would have thought, I was thinking once the toddler years are out, but no, it's quite intense.

It's the pressure of, I have to keep them so busy. They have to be an X amount of this, an X amount of that. Everyone is like signing up for school before the baby is out of the womb. Yeah. I don't know if that happens in England because you just tend to go to the school where you live. I walked up public school with my popple backpack at the time, like to elementary school. Yeah. Do you think it's better without social media? Cause you were just doing your own little journey. You weren't having to share your journey. You weren't seeing what other people were doing. You were just like in the zone doing what you wanted to do yeah I don't um I never really cared what other people thought that's good that's really good

and it was only because what I cared about was dancing and the, the absolute criticism and never enough and never good enough in the dance room was so palpable at that time. And through my career, it was through all the way clear up until I was 35 years old when I stopped performing that when it came to not being in the business and working and everything, everything else was freedom. And it was like, well, I am going to wear what I want to wear. And I am going to look the way that I look because in this world, I I'm supposed to be able to be, because I have to conform to so much and be so much for all of these people that will constantly tell me I'm not this enough, that enough, not don't sing this well enough or dance this. Like it was always like that.

So I always found freedom in other areas that I could disconnect from when it comes to social media. I cannot imagine my particular journey also having that on top of it that I would have been crippled. Yeah, I'm sorry for for lack of a better word, it would have crippled me. Yeah. The comments about people's figures and stuff. Sometimes I see TikToks of like younger performers. I'm like, oh, my gosh, people are brutal. I mean, I OK, I'll give you a for instance. When I, I did this Broadway show called The Producers. It was the Mel Brooks musical.

And I did it for many years. And I started out as a swing on tour. And I covered all the girls. And as a swing, you also had, because if you work for Susan Stroman and you swing or you dance captain, you have to learn the whole show. So like when you're in like these extra rehearsals and whatnot that they do, you just have to be able to jump in. And also my particular like swing position, I had to know five male tracks in case some, if the ship was really sinking, I could do it. So, so with that said,

I, I fought, fought for, you know, a long time to get into the Broadway company of it. And I got moved into a track, the Usherette track after like a year and a half of doing the show. And I all over America, all over Canada and to Japan. And I remember being in Japan, finding out that the role that I was now in was coming up on Broadway and that it was an immediate replacement. I'm in Japan, Emma. I'm in Japan. What the hell am I going to do? So we, we ended up where we're coming back from the, the four weeks that we were in Japan and we land on a Saturday and my agent calls and says, well, they want to see you on Monday to audition. Let that sink in. I've been doing the show now for years.

I had to audition for the part, the exact part. I had costumes for the part. I know the part inside and out. I go in on Monday. I go in on Tuesday. I go in on Wednesday. I go in on Thursday. Four days I had to audition with

different women that had never done the show. Didn't know the audition combo. And I was there every day present, giving everything, giving everything. Didn't, didn't get the part on day one, day two, day three, day four on day five, I got put into the show and I got put into the Broadway show and I was elated and my parents drove up and my best friend was there and it was so exciting. And I like kind of like went through this very dramatic week of never being enough and like feeling like rotten tomatoes. And I go out there and I do the show that Friday night and I thought it was the most amazing thing ever. And on Saturday I went in for the matinee and Susan Stroman, her work, like the people that

work under her, like, so when you come to the show the next day, you will be told you've done this wrong, that wrong, whatever. So within this particular family of how they work, they give you white cards, like white index cards. I had a stack of them like maybe three inches thick and on the very very top of it just be better just be better can you be better when you try your best I am nearing 43 years old and still saying that story because that world meant it was my life and meant so much to me that I think that's why I could be rebellious in the other areas of life as I grew up but that was my everything like I gave all and I believed it so when it was like just be better all I could

do was look for for me for the remainder of the time that I did the show for like another year and a half on Broadway before I got, I moved into Chicago and it was like constantly in my head, just be better. And I hope that A, my daughter never runs into someone like that. B, I hope if she does run into someone like that, I hope she tells me so I can help her through it. Yeah. Give her the tools. And with social media as well, you might have thousands of people telling you just to be better because that's just what, and people are just cruel and it just would be awful. Exactly. I just, I, you know, she knows about social media. She's on my social media, but she's now getting the point, like no picture. Yeah. No, stop. I'm like, okay,

it's down. And like, I'm being a little bit more aware of it. If I'm really honest with you, like there at the very beginning of like, when I started creating busy mumsy, it was, you know, she was my, my right hand gal. And like, now I'm just a little bit like, I'm very much like want her if she wants to be a part of it, be a part of it. And if not, then not. I just want to I want her to be proud of me working and building something new. That's that's like and I hope that that gives her, you know, confidence that no matter what she does, that I'm going to be there for her to root her on. And like, you know, that, you know, that that same feeling same feeling and that same you know consistency that I got from my parents. Oh your parents sounded like they were lovely if you could go back to Ashley when you were 14 and say something to her what would you say? Oh I'd give her a big old hug I don't live in regret in anything that I've ever done and I've

done some I've done some pretty shit things um I've done some really great things and I, I don't live in regret. And I, I think I would go back and give her a big hug. Just a hug. She didn't hug herself enough. Parents did, but she didn't. Yeah. You're okay. Yeah. I know when you think about that you're like yeah you you I I like come on it's just like you you you want to be so much more I think like this could this could potentially also be like small small town mentality that you when you're in a small town you want to be so much more and there's always this grandiose picture I never like looked at my parents say I want to be better than you I looked at my parents like I want to love like you and I want to like well there's things but it's like I look at and I'm like god I wasn't like I was never like

accepting at the time of myself and I'm glad that my parents were. I think that's why I chose 14 because 14 is such a tricky age and it is you've got one foot being a child you've got one foot being an adult there's so many hormones and yeah I wish I could go back and say do you know what you're all right you're not as bad as you think you are it's a funny and now we're parents all we can do is you know guide our children through that tricky time. Hope and pray and I am not a religious person but let me tell you it will be a hope and a prayer that the bubble's got to burst because you know I want her to land on her feet and find strength and and be able to be in big settings and find her voice and find her strength. So yeah, it's, it's, it's a tricky one when they're, you know, three and a half, four and they're like, you know, those like early years,

but then also when you look at, gosh, what you're going to, you're embarking now on into the preteens and teens, it's like, it's bananas. It is, it is a roller coaster, but we wouldn't change it for the world. Absolutely not. Hey, book line and sinker, sign me up for another one. bananas it is it is a roller coaster but we wouldn't change it for the world absolutely not hey book line and sinker sign me up for another one like who knows like you know if if I'm going to go either into menopause or if I will be blessed with another child we just there's a there is a fork in the road you don't know which way oh no unfortunately I'm I'm straight down the

menopause crazy I'm at the end of crazy lane. But you're still, you don't know which way it's going to go yet. You don't know which way. Who knows? Who knows? We shall see. Thanks so much for coming on the podcast, Ashley. And I will speak to you and see you online very soon.

Thank you. Bye. That was an amazing episode with Ashley. As I say, go and check out her parenting podcast, Busy Mumsy. It is brilliant. And if you're into parenting podcasts, I definitely would add it to your list. It's always in the top 10 on the chart. So it is highly, highly well rated. And talking of rating, a little shagway there. If you would like to give me a five-star review or leave a little review, my dad always leaves one every

week you can go and check them out is it spotify leaves them every week he leaves a little review nice chat emma go and leave one over there and be sure to follow the phone box podcast on instagram we do lots of different polls and of course if you've not already grabbed your ticket i am doing a big virtual family friendly charity quiz with a 90s boy band round i will leave a link to the tickets in the description so be sure to go and grab yourself a ticket it's one per household not per person and i will see you next week for another episode of the phone box podcast have a great week guys bye fanduel casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning.

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