The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Claire Wetton: Christmas No1s of The 1990s!

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Welcome to a Christmas Edition of The Phonebox Podcast where my sister, top kids TV writer Claire Wetton, and I run down the Christmas number 1s of the 1990s. WARNING we have strong opinions about some of them. You may well disagree with us (sorry Westlife fans). Listen to us chat about Band Aid 2, Mr Blobby and Babe by Take That. *Also Underneath The Tree by Kelly Clarkson is a decade old. So new to me.** Watch Band Aid 2 here. 1989 time capsuletastic! For more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok and follow the all new @phoneboxpodcast account on InstagramIf you have any guest suggestions, topics you would like me to cover email [e-mail] and be sure to tag so I can see where you are listening!Editing by Soundtruism.#90s #music #christmas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Your face is so serious. A very festive Christmas edition With my sister Claire It's a very serious subject Christmas Or Christmas number ones Christmas number ones baby

So we are The premise of this It's never been done before Anywhere I don't think. Probably. Maybe. Merry Christmas.

We're going to go through. I told Claire not to do any research. And we're going to go through the 1990s Christmas number one and just chat about them. So you might want to pause it now and go and check the 10 90s Christmas number ones. So you know what's coming. Or have it as a little Christmas surprise. Have it as a surprise, like an advent calendar. But it's us running down.

I know what they are because I've got them in front of me. We're going to talk about them. We're going to discuss them. I've just said to my sister there's some belters. But there's some, what would be the opposite of a belter? I want to say bumhole, but that is not right. Belters and bangers, but bangers is also belters and flops. Yeah.

Flip and flop. Oh, that doesn't sound very good, does it? Belters and bumholes. Let's just do that. There's some belters, there's some bumholes, and it's up to the public to decide. But first of all, I need to know, what's your favourite Christmas number one? Well, actually, no, just Christmas song in general favorite christmas song in general obviously slade and wizards top tier joint first but also yeah i don't understand whamageddon the first year that

whamageddon started i did it yeah people don't know it's where you're not allowed to listen to wham for the whole of december You've got to try and avoid Wham. Why would you do that to yourself? You can only listen to Last Christmas for one month of the year. Why would you not want to? Also, I think it's physically impossible. I think by mid-November, I'd already heard it. First year, I avoided it, I avoided it, I avoided it.

Got to the 23rd of December and I thought, why am I punishing myself? I want to listen to Wham and I just put it on and I sang and I had a lovely time. Do you know what, Claire? I don't think it's what George would have wanted. What George would have wanted? It's certainly not what Andrew wants because he wants all the royalties. It's not what I want. No, I feel like I need to get Andrew Ridgely on the podcast and ask him.

So that's the aim. Guys, I'm manifesting. Andrew Ridgely on the podcast. Get him to sing last Christmas, December 1st. Get everyone out and then everyone can just enjoy themselves. Just get on with our lives. That's manifesting. Christmas 2024, Andrew Ridgely on the podcast.

And we'll have this exact comment. It's not what George would have wanted. What is your least, if it comes on, on you're like I am turning that off driving home for Christmas I knew you were going to say that's terrible hate it but I think it's because it reminds me of when I worked in a shop as a teenager and when you work in a shop Christmas songs start in October finish about mid-February and if I listen to Driving Home for Christmas, it just reminds me of being very sad, being paid £1.88 an hour in Chelmsley Wood, just thinking this is not what life should be like.

And also, you know that tender song, she's gone. Claire, that was on the tip of my tongue because that is,... He's gone When those two songs came on I was just like, take me out of here Not the world I want to get off I worked in Wallace

and that Pretender song was the only Christmas It just seemed to be that song on repeat It's very far Oh God It's very far oh god it's very far sorry I think I'd turn the pretenders off I was discussing this with Ethan because we every day we drive school we have heart Christmas on and we say is this a top song is this is a bottom song is this a middle song and for me there's nothing I would turn off but there's things I would turn up and I want to introduce you to some new Christmas bangers

I really like it's not new it's about six years old Ariana Grande yeah it's a good one that is a good one the video is brilliant I don't think I've seen the video oh it it literally is must have been filmed on an iPhone. It's three people in bed in Christmas pyjamas just dancing. Also really like Kelly Clarkson. Underneath the tree, you're here. That's a great new song, isn't it? Yeah.

I didn't even think of that as a new song. It feels like a classic. It probably is 12 years old. In my head, anything... Anything post-1994. Anything after 1994 years old in my head anything anything post 1994 anything after 1994 is new in my head is new sometimes i put a pair of shoes on like oh put my new shoes on then a facebook memory will come up and i had them seven years ago when i was in a quiz team they always used to say oh claire knows the modern songs they'd be like this song came out in 1991

what is wrong with you and, last one before we move. Now, this is a new song. Kiss me once under the mistletoe. Yeah, Ed Sheeran, like that. It's still alive. It always reminds me of Erin doing her Christmas Carol concert. Yeah, because they sing that. And I am actually going to one tonight

and they will be singing it again. It's Christmas time for you when... And it also reminds me of when my friend Roxy did a video without John and held his hand. Which is the greatest miracle for us all of us. I was stepping to Christmas. That is an absolute... Oh, God!

Come on. Sometimes, sometimes my life's so weird. I'm just like, my friend's holding hands without a job. And then I was thinking, is it really his hand? I'm not sure it is his hand. I don't know. Do you think he had fake hands just to hold it so he didn't have to put that? I don't know.

I don't know if they were there at the same time. They don't seem close enough. Do you know what I mean? Physically, you mean, or like emotionally? Physically, unless they were like social distancing but holding hands an elbow bump you have to ask that maybe i'll ask is that a weird question to ask i definitely question i would ask okay next time we see her i'll ask her right so just to preface this claire yeah the christmas number one in 1989 was Do They Know It's Christmas, Band-Aid 2.

Oh, Chloe and Jason were in that. I think Bross were in it as well and Bananarama, but I feel like Bananarama were in the original one. Shall we look? Band-Aid 2. What upsets me about Band-Aid 2 is that it's one of the best songs ever, but the lyrics are horrific. Troublesome. So, and you're singing it and you're thinking, oh, no, this is not good. I was explaining to the kids, I was like, there's so much wrong with it.

There's so many things. Okay. Who was in Band-Aid? If ever there was a time capsule, if an alien came down and said, like it 1989, play them this video. Bananarama. Was there a fan of me?

Okay, I'm just going to read through them. Bananarama. Big fun. Nice. Bross. Kathy Dennis. Oh. Demob. Don. Kathy Dennis. Oh. D-Mob.

Don't know who they are. Jason Donovan. Kevin Godley. No. Glenn Goldsmith. Kylie Minogue. The Pasadenas. Oh, lovely.

Chris Rea. He's popping his head up again. Cliff Richard. Jimmy Somerville. Our Queen and Saviour, Sonia, Lisa Stansfield, Technotronic and Wet, Wet, Wet. Technotronic. Just to have that as a time capture.

Do you know what? After this, I'm going to go back and watch that video because that is a... Some of those people peaked, didn't they, that day because we don't know who they are. It must have been a stock Aiken and Waterman. Yeah. What would the word be vehicle driven yeah vehicle yeah they were like pete waterman was like come on come on sonia we're gonna do this all right all right pete i'm coming oh my god that was such a

good sonia impression okay so if you say so yourself that's where we're at. 1989. Okay. 1990. What do you think the song was? I might not do this very well because it'll be... I'm hoping this is their wine. Open your heart on Saviour's Day. The best I turn away. I love a bit of Cliff.

After what he said about Alison Hammond. Oh, yeah, but he said Oh, after what he said about Alison Hammond. Oh, yeah, but he's an old man. Well, it wasn't about Alison Hammond. It was about Elvis. You what, sorry? He's an old man, isn't he? It was a different time that he grew up. I read the comments and the comments were like,

this is his one story and he said this story a lot of times. I don't think he'll be saying it again. Then again, he probably will say it again. He's probably sat at home going. He's been that old, isn't he probably will say it again. He's probably sat at home going... He's been how old, isn't he? Well, he was. That's probably what he's doing. Yeah.

What's telling the truth? Cliff, we're not down for that. So, Save His Day was 1990. Is that a banger or a bumhole? Banger. It's one of the lowest of his bangers. I'd say it's one of his worst Christmas songs. No Mr. Tone Wine. It. No Mr. Tone Wine.

It's No Mr. Tone Wine, which was famously 1988. So Cliff... I was going to guess 88. Cliff was Christmas number one with Mr. Tone Wine, 88, Do The Notes Christmas, 89 and 90, Saviors Day. What? It's a ledge. It's not a ledge, it's a fat shaming bumhole.

Not long ago, I slipped in my shower whilst dancing to Cliff Richard and I was like, this is like an age concern advert. What song was it? I think it was Devil Woman. She's just a devil woman. I want it to be, what's that one? When he's looking through the window.

I knew you were going to say that. It's like Delilah, but with a happy ending silhouette right okay let's move on from him 1991 you'll never guess it bohemian rhapsody oh because he died didn't know i thought it might have been because of wayne's world but no no it was the year he died. Oh. I remember because I was in year seven and our headteacher cried in assembly because she was so... Well, it's a tragedy. I tell you what,

when the same happens to Gary Barlow many years from now, I'm having a week off work. Bohemian Rhapsody with These Are The Days Of Our Lives. I mean, it's not a Christmas song, is it? It's a banger of a song. There's a lot of not very Christmassy songs on this list. Both bangers. We Miss You, Freddie.

You were great. 1992, this is a very 1990s song. It's a quintessential 90s song. It is by another sadly past legend. Oh, no, Cliff's still alive whitney houston i will always love you again not christmas again not christmas what are we gonna do about that that's not coming on heart christmas is it why then again i was gonna say i think of that as a summary song but then it was in the charts for about 400 years, wasn't it? I feel like it was, yeah.

But then again, when she opens her eyes, it's the snow around her. Is she on a back-to-front chair? I think she's just on a normal chair, but leaning forward with her arms and her knees. And then she opens her eyes. There was a lot of chair work like Michelle Pfeiffer in Gangster's Paradise. A lot of chair work in the 1990s. Can't be a chair dance. No, a la Liza Minnelli and Cabaret.

I'd rather that than Christmas number one. Banga Rubbermole. Oh, of course it's a banga. Could you do it on karaoke? I was just thinking, I'm going to karaoke tonight. I was just thinking, could I pull that off? I don't think I could. I think when I see somebody get up and they start to sing

I Will Always Love You on the karaoke, I think you think you're the main character and you would only sing that song if you could sing that song. Yeah, no not i'm not i can't sing i'll go try it no my friends will be very relieved to know that i'm gonna leave that one leave whitney in 1992 okay 1993 this is the best as in like the most infamous christ number one of all time, it is... Blobby? Blobby, Blobby, Blobby. Blobby, Blobby, Blobby.

Bring back Blobby. Bring back Blobby. Do you know what? The world was happy. Everyone was like, oh, we're in the 90s. Everything's great. Everything went downhill after Blobby left. Blobby, was he creepy?

Yes. Rewatch a clip of Mr. Blobby and don't laugh. A challenge answer. So Mr Blobby with the self-titled song Mr Blobby. Blobby, Mr Blobby. And we famously saw him at the Civic Hall. I think we went to a Christmas concert and the finale was Mr Blobby coming on.

And I seem to remember absolutely losing my mind. I can't remember that. I don't know who else was on the bill, but... Bridging back Blobby. Yeah, but you're not going to listen to Mr... You're not going to sit down for your Christmas dinner and put Mr Blobby... Or are you?

You should. Why not? Best of Blobby. That's what I want for Christmas. The best of Blobby DVD. Blobby, Blobby, Blobby. My friend Jocelyn said she was trying to explain to her daughter what Mr Blobby was

And she's like None of it made any sense Because then you had to explain Who Noel Edmonds was Mr Blobby was just absolute chaos And that's my kind of sense of humour Just Just someone

Falling on top of people And just screaming Blobby At the top of his voice And he goes in the same category as Rod Hullany, Mew Yeah And also the man with the ostrich Yeah, Bernie The man with the ostrich half of his voice. And he goes in the same category as Rod Hull and Emu. Yeah. And also the man with the ostrich.

Yeah, Bernie. The man with the ostrich. Bernard Cribbins, yeah. Bernard Cribbins. Bernard Cribbins. Apologies if any of these are wrong and I can't remember. But anybody that went on Parkinson and bit their face with an ostrich

or pushed him over because he was a giant blob. Legend. I might watch the best stuff video on youtube afterwards bring back bobby bring back bobby bring back blobby okay 1994 again it is not a christmas song east 17 stay another day i know people think it is they have a little bit of jingle bells in the background it's not a christmas song we have established me and again jocelyn because we we not a christmas song we have established me

and again jocelyn because we we have a christmas party we watch loads of christmas records people if there's a song that's not a christmasy song they put a christmas coat on or a scarf christmas coat little bit of bells in the background but let's tell you what it's a good marketing plan because that song comes out every year they must be living off that every year it's about his brother as well wasn't it it's about tony's brother i think who passed away ryan harvey is getting a lot of jacket potatoes out of that song listeners if you don't know was it yeah why did he run over himself he ran over himself and people thought that he was on drugs and he was like i wasn't on drugs i ate two jacket potatoes and i was very sleepy. It's happened to us all.

Now, I would say on the list, this is probably one of the most disappointing songs. A controversial character, Michael Jackson with Earth Song. Oh, I might do that on karaoke. That's not, he didn't even put a Christmas jacket on. My friend Melanie used to cry every time she watched that video. So we used to put it on all the time just to make her cry. Don't know why, but it made us laugh.

I'm going to say Not A Belter. I'm not a huge fan of Earth Song. No, it's not even the best Michael Jackson song. No, we don't listen to Michael Jackson. Lower tier. I think we found our first bumhole of the season. This is your first bumhole of the season, Earth Song by Michael Jackson. It's not a Christmas song. He didn't even put a scarf on.

There was no snow. There weren't even a sniff of a jingle bell. He had a short-sleeved shirt on. Do you know what he had on? A white T-shirt and a floaty shirt. Yeah. Black jeans. Them like moccasin shoes he wore, probably a glove. But do we remember when Jarvis Cocker got on stage?

Oh, yeah. Showed his little bottom up. He got up and represented our bumhole feeling of this song by flashing his bum. Yeah. I think that was the same year that chumba womba tipped some paint over politicians heads yeah you don't get stuff like that anymore do you john prescott no he would have punished them i think it was john prescott you don't get classic interactions like that okay now we come in to an area of what's it called a? A sweep. What did you call it?

I don't know because I don't know what you're talking about. Not a sweepstake. Anyway, you'll know when. 1996. This again is not a Christmas song and they did just wear a winter jacket. To become one. I love Spice Girls. See, I do feel like this is a Christmas song even though I know it's not.

So far, none of these are coming on Hot Christmas Not even Saviour's Day Emma Brunton's outfit in the video Every Christmas I think that's what I'm going to look like this Christmas I look like Emma Brunton in the typical one video And I never achieve it Did she have a velvet jacket on? Oh yeah

Long jacket, velvet trench Knee high platform boots and a little mini skirt Did she have a velvet jacket on? Oh, yeah. Long jacket, velvet trench. Knee-high platform boots and a little miniskirt. Oh, lovely. I did have a velvet green trench coat and I did have brown leather platform boots. I mean, you'd be freezing. I do look like Emma Bunton. Very thin jacket, high heels. It's thin jacket High heels It's not snow weather

It's not snow clothing But in the 90s though I never wore a coat Nowhere I think I always did I was bopping around Okay 1997

The one at 1999 Every time my eyes like flick down Can't wait I know what that is No you don't know what it is Claire No no You definitely don't know what it is No And every time my eyes, like, flick down. Can't wait. I know what that is. No, you don't know what it is, Claire. No, no. You definitely don't know what it is, no. And every time it'll flick down, I'm like, that's crap.

1997, too much of something. Oh, that's a great song. I forgot I loved that song. What's the video to that? I don't even remember. Is it, I remember, is it a montage of Spice Girls the movie? I don't even feel like it was a proper video. Remember we went on Boxing Day when Spice Girls the movie was released

and we took our boyfriends? No. And made them go and watch it. Did we? Who? Well, do you want me to say our ex-boyfriend's names on here? I don't remember. Nathan? Yeah names on here I don't remember Nathan yeah well I don't remember him wanting to

come to see that well neither of them did we were like let's do something on Chris's unboxing day and then we were like surprise we're going to see Spice Girls maybe the second it's released FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has

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Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. And they were delighted about it. Do you know what? I think they're probably thanking us now because we gave them pop culture. We gave them the gift. It wasn't gold, frankincense and myrrh. We gave them the gift of Jerry, Emma and the others others and i honestly think it was like 10 in the morning it was like the first showing of the movie straight in the cinema can't we say and we were right to do that and i have no

regrets i'd do it again i'd do it again if a spice girls Girls movie came out on Boxing Day I'm taking the old fam Guys, we're going to see Spice Girls The movie Okay Now this is taking a little bit of a sad term 1998 Goodbye by the Spice Girls Oh that shouldn't be A Christmas number one

None of them should be a Christmas number one But were we saying goodbye to Jerry? Was it the weird one where they're like Little fairy cartoons but what? None of them should be a Christmas number one but were we saying goodbye to Jerry? Where? Was it the weird one where they're like little fairy creek cartoons? Yeah No, I'm not, I'm going to say bumhole Yeah, I agree

Not for us We love the Spice Girls Yeah, but we weren't Was that from the Holler album? We weren't really into that. Oh, I like Holler, Holler, Holler, Holler, Holler, come on. Holler, Holler, Holler, Holler, come on. I'd have preferred that to be a Christmas song.

That is, I want to make you holler. That's when I was at student radio. No, that wasn't student radio. It would have been after that. So I don't know what album that's from. Maybe you were just reading it. Maybe. I think, I don't know.

Maybe I've been dumped and I was too depressed. I couldn't even listen to a Christmas song. On the list of all the songs, this is for me, and I think this is going to cause some controversy or controversy from the listeners, because I know we have a lot of listeners who are fans of this particular band oh 1999

and this is an absolute put a scarf on it make it Christmas I have a dream by Westlife oh shut up I thought it was going to be the old Lang Syne

Lord's Prayer one what I thought it was going to be the Auld Lang Syne. What is it? The Lord's Prayer one? What a crock of poo. Say it again. I was so horrified. Didn't even listen. We ended the millennium. I have a dream.

I have a dream slash seasons in the sun. I'm leaving the country. Have a dream slash seasons in the sun by Westlife. I'm leaving the country. That is how we ended the millennium. I thought it was millennium prayer. That was what I meant. Millennium prayer is one of my favourite bangers of Christmas. I have a dream seasons in the sun.

Now, I really like Westlife when you're looking like that, especially where Brian pretends that he's juggling some boobies. That's a great video. This is terrible. It's just five boys in scarves. My favourite Westlife story is when mum really, really, really, really, really, really, really wanted to see Westlife and begged dad for a Westlife ticket. And I was living in London at the time and dad bought the tickets

and said, I'm not coming with you. So I had to come. I finished work in London, got a train back to Birmingham, rushed to the NEC, went to see Westlife with mom. And she was like, thank you. I really wanted you to come and see. I don't know what you would do while you were busy. Maybe know something maybe you just had a baby you're always having babies and then they came on and mom said where's ronan and i said what are you talking about she's where's rodent i was like that's boyzone oh see boys I didn't want to see Westlife she thought it was it's gone all the way from Kiltown

she thought it was Boyzone did she know that Stephen was sadly no longer with us yeah I was absolutely

furious she wanted father and son she got seasons in the sun and I didn't even like Westlife but after seeing

the concert i was like yeah they're all right actually who's your favorite member i quite oh the lead one shane is it really yeah why not anyway that's how we ended the millennium and do you want to know how we started the millennium scenes as we i told you it was 1989 we started the mill so we ended the millennium? Seen as we, I told you it was 1989. We started the millennium. So we ended the millennium with I Have a Dream Season in the Sun and we started it with, can we fix it by Bob the Builder? What's wrong with this country? Says the woman that said bring Mr. Blobby back.

Bring Mr. Blobby back. Come on. Can we have a moment for millennium prayer i thought that was coming well i don't i i'm confused about millennium prayer because i don't i would have thought maybe it was the week after the new year millennium google because i like the fact that there was a meeting somewhere in a production company where they were like, guys, we can't beat Mr Turnwine. Mr Turnwine was the most Christmassy song of all time.

And Cliff Richard was like, hold my beer. Let's sing the Lord's Prayer to old Lang Syke. Okay, we've got a fact. So Millennium Prayer, what's Millennium Prayer number one? It was released in November 1999 as a charity single in the lead up to the new Sykes. Okay, we've got a fact. So Millennium Prayer, was Millennium Prayer number one? It was released in November 1999 as a charity single in the lead up to the new Millennium. Remember?

Hence the name. The single became a surprise hit reaching number one in the UK singles charts, number two in Australia and New Zealand, number three in Ireland. Now, I don't know why it wasn't at Christmas,

but perhaps because he released it too early then. I don't know why it wasn't at Christmas but it perhaps because he released it too early then I wouldn't put it on but if I'm going around Morrison's and it comes on I'm like yeah bang that never come no one's playing the millennium prayer they do at Christmas they play it in supermarkets so there we go Claire I never put it on. I would never go, oh, let's go on Spotify and put on the Millennium Prayer. It's never on the radio, but you will hear it in Morrison's or us sometimes. I actually did put it on the other day when I was around Justin's house because we couldn't remember it. Can we please take a moment for the Driving Home for Christmas video

with Gail Porter and Lizzie Cundeyan? Yeah, I haven't seen it apart from the clips on your Instagram story. Because you can't find it on YouTube. Why? It's not on YouTube. Why? It's not on YouTube. It's on Apple. Someone might have some kind of super injunction and just say, did Lizzie Cundie go?

This doesn't fit my brand. Someone needs to see it. It's on the telly. It's on the telly. So it can't be that bad. But it's got Lizzie Cundie. It's got Gail Porter. I'm going to.

It's got Lizzie Cundie. It's got Gail Porter. It's got Lionel Blair. I was going to say, there's someone in it who's been cancelled, but Lionel Blair hasn't been cancelled, is there? No. I did think, oh, maybe it's because from that era, everybody's been cancelled.

I'm surprised. I was going to say, there's someone on there that hasn't been cancelled. That is shocking. That's actually, that's a Christmas miracle. But no, nobody seems to be cancelled so don't really it's got somebody who's in the british office on it but not ricky gervais yeah isn't it uh keith but that's not 90s that's not 90s that is that was a bit naughtiest don't know don't understand it but put YouTube, please, because you'll get lots of views from me. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss about Christmas number ones,

Christmas songs in general? Is it really a thing anymore? What do you mean? Oh, Christmas number one. I suppose because we're older, we don't follow the charts as much, do we? Well, speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. I know. I don't follow the charts as much, do we? Well, speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. I know, I could, Claire, I don't know who's,

I don't know who's been number one for about 12 years. I've got no clue. Well, Chris was number one. It's been Lab Baby, hasn't it? Well, who's Chris? I don't know who's number one now at this present moment. Shall I have a look? I think it's Mariah Carey, maybe, or someone like that,

because it's... Number one. People are listening to Christmas. How do you even find where you get number ones? I've just typed it to Google. Number one. Surprisingly enough, it's not coming up. Oh, Christmas number one this week is Last Christmas by Wham.

Oh, lovely. Number two is All I Want for Christmas. Number three is Loving on Me by Jack Harlow. Who? Four, Fairytale of New York. Oh, it's all Christmas songs. Number ten, Shakin' Stevens. Oh.

Oh, shaky. Oh, shaky. He's still alive. Bear with. I'd be very sad if he's not. We don't want to drop that bombshell um shaking stevens welsh singer songwriter please be alive he's 75. oh no hang on that's that's how long he's been married um i don't know how we find out if he's dead or not. Wikipedia. Surely it would.

Now Wikipedia's trying to get me to donate money. I just want to know if Shaken Stevens is still alive. 75, Claire, he's still alive. Still got it. Still going. Still got it. And do you know, you're never going to guess what his real name is. Steven Shaken. Michael Barrett. Michael Barrett. you're never going to guess what his real name is. Stephen Shakybum.

Michael Barrett. Michael Barrett. I don't know why I just asked that question. Someone was telling me the other day that they did a Christmas special last year I think for kids. And the only special guest they could get was Shaky Stevens and none of the kids knew who Shaky Stevens was.

I'd have screamed because he looks the same. He's still got it. I'd have screamed Michael. I'd have screamed, is that Michael Barrett as he came on? Shaken Stevens is like, oh, they're like special guests. And they were all like, what? Who's that? They're like, oh, is it going to be Taylor Swift?

Oh, it's Shaken who? Shaken what? Shaken that? There's another youth reference for you. Okay. Just before we go I just want to discuss What I miss about Christmas is Christmas Top of the Pops Yeah, did they have it last year?

It's not For us, our whole Christmas day, when we were teenagers Would revolve around the joy That was Christmas Top of of the pops it kind of was on about like was it before the queen's speech i think yeah we used to watch it whilst whilst mom was making dinner flapping in the kitchen we'd watch that and it would be like the top song of january the top song of february yeah and it'd be like the top song who's gonna be on a video yeah because if you if it was on a video that was a bit

crap you wanted them in the studio didn't you i can't believe take that never had a christmas number one i feel like oh i feel like mr blobby stopped babe that never had a Christmas number one I feel like Mr Blobby stopped Babe from getting to Christmas number one you know Babe would have been a good Christmas number one but but I think again that's just because it's set in a way they were definitely gunning for Christmas number one with that

and I reckon Gary Barlow bit of snow really strange story about a woman hiding a child such a very strange story did Gary Barlow. Bit of snow. Bit of snow. Really strange story about a woman hiding a child. Such a very strange story. Did Gary Barlow write Babe? Where did that even come from? Such a weird story. Bear with Google again.

It's like run away to like a Russian castle. Come to your door. If anybody's still listening at this time, I do apologise because now we just take that. Babe. Babe. How do I find out who wrote it? Babe.

I tell you what, Wikipedia, if you ask me for more money, I shan't be using your services for free anymore. Oh, they're going to be so upset about that. Written by Gary Barlow. I don't know, but he obviously knew it was a bit weird. That's why he handed it over to Mark. Yeah, he was like, I've written this song. How about you take the lead, Mark?

And then like winked, winked at Howard and Jason and they all had a little chuckle. Features Mark Owen on lead vocals. It was a number one hit in both Ireland and the United Kingdom, but obviously not. Oh, they released it on 6th December. It was too early. Peaked too soon. Oh, I tell you what,

Mark Herman is a handsome man in that video. Babe, I'm looking at him now and he's got a proper Karen haircut. Look at that. Oh, yeah. But in that big wintery coat. Yeah, look at that. He's got a crown haircut, a giant collar and a necklace of,

I don't know, made out of pasta shells or something. But I'm sure in that video he was wearing, like, those boots with the wood in the heel that we all loved. And a big long coat. A big long coat. Did you have a fluffy hat on? Somebody had a fluffy hat on and it was set in like a derelict Russian estate.

And then you're like, what's going on? Who's behind it? Oh, it's his child? And you're like, what? At the time we were like, oh lovely, he's got a baby. But looking back.

He was a real absentee father. Also, the fact that she fled from him with a child means he probably wasn't a good man. And then he stalked her and found her. Yeah, I was going to find the lyrics so we can just, we've really gone on a, so he came to the door to see you again but where you once stood was an old man instead yes i asked where you'd be and he said she's moved on you'd say all i have is a number you better ask her not me okay this bit you're fine you've gone to look although is that a bit stuffy on the run yeah she's on the run she's pregnant and on the run and also

this man should not be giving out her personal details. So he picked up the phone, dialled your number, not sure to put it down or speak. Then a voice I once knew answered in a sweet voice. She said, hello, and then paused before I began to speak. So she's answering the phone. Hello, is it my mum? Because you couldn't tell the number in them days.

No, she might have thought it was the old man say she's got some posts it could have been anybody i'm here again and he repeats it i'm here again and she's absolutely cacking her pants terrified she's going she's going to the kid who i what what would be like a 90s name kevin kieran kieran pack your bags your dad's on the phone i tell you i'm here again babe where have you been and repeats it where have you been and then he says again i'm back again repeat it again i'm back again i tell you i'm back again where have you been i'm back again okay you held your voice well oh she's packing there were tears i could tell there were tears i could tell because she's packing

she's packing but where were you now you're gonna tell me in time just give me a down and i'll be straight down i've got much to tell you about where i've been present as i walk down your road can't wait to be near you ease and nutter i can't can't keep the feeling inside i can't keep it inside as i stand at your door you answer in a sweet voice i think police are on the way and she's and they've said to her whatever you do don't let them know we're on the way they're antagonizing just answer the story you say hello then pause before i begin to speak and then he goes through the whole thing again babe where have you been i'm back again blah blah blah as you looked away probably just down the road to see if anybody's on the way to help i saw a face you, a little boy stood at your door.

Famously, boy stood at your door. And we all gasped. When I looked again, I saw his face was shining. He had my eyes, my eyes. He had my smile, my smile. And that's just really how it ends. And then he just goes through the whole rigmarole of saying, take me back, I'm back again.

And then that's how it ends creepy just as Santa would have wanted just as Father Chris all set in a Russian stately home in giant furry coats and if anybody's made it to the end of this podcast

it's a Christmas miracle. And Gary Barlow, if you are listening, we weren't saying your songwriting was terrible for that particular song, but you could have done something better for Christmas number one. Oh, and to be fair, I still like the song. I might go and watch it now. I might get off this call. Watch.

It's a blob, babe. Watch, Bain. Tell you what, I won't be watching Seasons in the Sun by Westloth. You know how Seasons in the Sun goes? We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

Ask mum, she'll know. She'll go, it's not time to make a change. Just an act. Father and son. Where's Rhoda? Okay, guys. I think we've really, really drawn this podcast out a lot.

Thanks so much for listening to the Phone Box podcast in 2023. It started in March. This is the end of the third season. What a way to go. End the year on a high, just like Westlife. End the year on a high. End the millennium on a high like Band-Aid.

No, it wasn't Band-Aid 2. What was it? Was that what ended the millennium? The end of the millennium was Seasons in the Sullivan. That's true. But I will be back in January for season four. I've got some great guests lined up. As we know, we famously have Andrew Ridgely coming on for Christmas.

Next year. Be sure to subscribe. If you want to see what I'm up to over Christmas, definitely check out my Brummie Mummy of two Instagram. There will be some Christmassy polls going up,'m sure over on the phone box podcast um we will be putting up some old episodes so you can catch up and i will be back in january thanks again thanks so much if you shared me being on spotify and also if you came to our end of year 10 years of brum quiz which was a huge success on sunday clay you you look like you've got something to say.

Before you go, I just want everyone's joining together. Our father, who was a friend. I know. I thought you were going to say blobby, blobby, blobby. And a lovely Sunday. No. I think that was robbed. Let's all get Christmas number one this year.

If all the years, it's definitely not going to be Christmas number one this year if all the years it's definitely not going to be Christmas number one this year it's been flipping counted you got more chance of getting blobby to number one right guys

peace out see you in 2024 have a wonderful festive season love you lots ho ho ho ho ho ho bye

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