The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Crimpers, Eminem & Inflatable Chairs: Harriet Shearsmith

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Who had crushes on older men and wished Steven Seagal would whisk her away from martial arts when she was a teenager? Harriet Shearsmith that's who! The podcaster and content creator discusses inflatable chairs, B*Witched, Eminem and how she overcame some tough times.Be sure to listen to Unfollowing Mum here and follow Harriet on TikTok and Instagram here!Watch Eminem's new song here.For more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok and follow the @phoneboxpodcast account on Instagram for polls and nostalgic fun.If you have any guest suggestions, topics you would like me to cover email [e-mail] and be sure to tag so I can see where you are listening!#00s #00smusic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan.

You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Phone Box Podcast with me, Emma Conway. How the devil are you? I like to do a weather check.

It's dull. It's dull and muggy. Harriet, what's it like where you are? I can confirm it is also dull and muggy harriet what's it like where you are i can confirm it is also dull and muggy it's i'm in yorkshire so we get summer over about three days and that's it and that's it i'm exaggerating but yeah it's dull and muggy dull and muggy um i've got a lovely person harriet i reckon i've known you for probably nearly 10 years yeah it must be it must be because we've both been doing this for 10 years. Yeah, and we spent a romantic weekend in New York together once. We did. It was very delicious. In fact, it actually was delicious because we both ended up at that diner,

which we didn't plan. We just crossed paths at that diner. It was so good. And the park, and Central Park, it was so nice. We went to an ill-fated, never-opened Trolls exhibition. We did. And then COVID hit and just ruined it all yeah so it never ended up it never ended up i do you know what this is sounds crackers i've still got

all the footage and photos just in case they ever need them and i'm like it's been four years emma i hope that can confirm i don't have the footage i let go of that my phone I'm like one day it might come so guys Harriet is on the podcast Harriet could you tell everybody where they could find you please yes I can I am Harriet Shearsmith I am currently on Instagram at Toby and Rue which is a bone for contention because I wanted to be able to change my name and I can't so everywhere else it's at it's Harriet Shearsmith on TikTok and then I have my blog which is tobyandrue.com and I will't. So everywhere else, it's at, it's Harriet Shearsmith on TikTok. And then I have my blog, which is tobyandrew.com. And I will have a new website soon, which is harrietshearsmith.com. All about my experiences as a mum. And then I've also recently set up a platform called

Unfollowing Mum and a podcast Unfollowinging mum where I talk about cycle breaking parenting and my experiences growing up in a not so healthy environment and how you can turn that around and create a healthy environment for your children and your family moving forwards oh and she's a good egg so definitely go and follow her definitely go and check her out and when I reached out I was like do you want to come on a podcast talking about your teenage years? But I know some of them might not be very nice. And she was like, yes, I want to talk about Bewitched. And I was like, okay, that's good. Perhaps slightly before my teenage years, I think.

But the obsession continued onwards. Hence why I'm now 35 and still like, let's talk about Bewitched. You were like, it was traumatic, but I want to talk about Bewitched. Okay, so I like to start off by asking people the top songs of the year that they were 14, which for you was 2003. Now, I can't find, for some unknown reason, the 2003 list does not exist, but I've got a lot, all the number ones in 2003. So you're going to win a point if you can name three.

Three? Three number ones in the whole you're going to win a point if you can name three three three number ones in the whole of 2000 it wouldn't have been like evanescence wasn't on there was it number one you've got a point you've won a point you've won a point we literally beforehand were like you're not going to get any of these that's because my evanescence error i remember that i remember leaning out of my window and being like my life is so awful yeah bring me to life and the rest of you've won a point points mean prizes thank you very much what prize do i get um i'm gonna put my thumbs up and you're gonna get a firework display oh i look right and that's made my day to be honest that's

that's done it for me what a prize let me try and think what else might have been on there there's some right funny ones no i can't think of it i know oh give me a hint okay i'm gonna there's a there's quite a few re uh like kind of reality you know like x factory kind of reality, you know, like X-Factory kind of people. Okay. Fame Academy people. Okay. Is Girls Aloud on there? No, it won't be.

Will it? Could be. Girls Aloud is not on here, but what is on here is David Sneddon, Stop Living the Lie. Ooh. Do you remember that? Vaguely. Vaguely remember that.

Love David Sneddon. And we've also got Daniel Bedingfield, Never Gonna Leave Your Side. Yeah. How's that go? It's his slow one. Don't ask me to sing it. I was trying to sing it, but i can't remember how it goes he's making a comeback and a couple other yeah he's the he's coming back because i'll uh his sister's well popular again

now ain't she natasha she is yeah picture up literally those kids if they decide to like you then that's yeah that's it okay we've got black eyed peas wearing the love um elton john are you ready for love um fat man scoop be faithful i'm not sure i know that either um and notably two classics beautiful by christina aguilera amazing amazing all the things she said by tattoo other things she said other things that is the classic definitely a bit of a cheeky kiss okay so if we've covered you do get a point because you did know effervescence. So films, some of the top films, can you name me one of the top films in 2003? Oh my gosh, 2003.

Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like

extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Give me a hint. It is one of the best Christmas films in the history of the world. No, because I've seen your polls on Instagram and I feel like I'm going to offend you here because you're going to be like, but this should be obvious to everyone. And I'm going to offend you here because you're going to be like, but this should be obvious to everyone.

And I'm going to be like, this should be obvious to everybody. Look. Is it like Home Alone? Don't look at me like that. I'm sorry. I'm just shutting my computer. Love Actually.

Love Actually. Yes. Love Actually. I think that was 2003. I thought that was so much later. No. Love Actually. We've got The Matrix,

Finding Nemo, Calendar Girls, American Wedding, which I presume is American pie-like spin-off, Charlie's Angels, Bruce Almighty, which is an absolute classic. That is a classic. The Matrix, Made in Manhattan, and 8 Mile. 8 Mile. See, I was going to suggest Eminem for the the 2003 top list but he didn't come up because i loved and i then i stopped myself because i remember being 11 and in the shower room after pe singing the whole of the slim shady of course lyrics of everybody knew them of course and

that's come back he's re he's re-released some kind of slim shady thing this week ethan came in last night and said have you seen the the new Eminem video? And I said, no. And he says, it's old Eminem singing with new Eminem and they sing together. So I am going to, after we've done this podcast, I'm going to go and watch it. And I suggest you, I will leave a link in the description to the YouTube so you can all go and watch it. Did you fancy Eminem? Because I did. Yes, massively. I did. I did. And I think I was only about 11 or 12 when he was at his peak yeah but yes I had a massive crush on him especially when he had like the dyed hair I just thought he was such a bad boy and he was so good at rapping and no not necessarily all the

time but I was just obsessed loved him absolutely loved him agreed okay so where did you grow up when you were 14 where were you living I was living in North Yorkshire I was in similar area to where I am now it's the same area as where I am now actually and yeah it was very rural very quiet little town it was very simple where I am nice what was your bedroom like that always gives a good indication of teenage years okay so my bedroom I changed my bedroom round all of the time and went through like different phases so I remember having a phase where like I painted all of my wardrobes these massive funky colors so I'd like gone in with a big bright purple all while my mum was at work I was left my own devices and she came back and she was like what the fuck

have you done and in fairness to her like I agreed and I'd gone like round the trims with bright yellow and then oh they looked awful and they were like really old custom-made wardrobes that I'd been allowed to have in my room and I absolutely trashed them and then I went through my I wanted the flooring to be wooden and then all of the walls white with really bright pop art on the walls oh nice sophisticated Harriet sophisticated it was apart from when you were trying to walk on the floor and it was just like, because we'd just lain down this kind of, what are they called? You know, like the click and lock. Do you remember that? Like lino kind of stuff. so I just I'd got that down and I don't think it even met to the door because I just wanted this wood effect in my room and I had a desk along the side and then naturally I'd got like my big mirror so that I could look in the mirror and do my hair with my old crimpers oh yeah of course very much

with the crimpers and I remember once a girl at school saying to me I'd love to see your hair straightened she was just being as girls do she was just being a little bit of a bitch and I said to her but I have straightened it today and I couldn't get any like fancy straighteners so these were the ones that never really heated up properly but just made your hair go yeah as she tried to do it so yeah very much kind of chopped and changed what I wanted with my bedroom it was one of the biggest rooms in the house as well so I'd got like a little seating area in it um because it was it was when the people who had our home before us had built their extension they just extended the top half over for their older daughter and I was like I could have that room kind of putting my little pitch in there

and the other bedroom had an en suite so my mum was like well I'm having the ensuite obviously I'm the parent give me the ensuite and I got that room so I just felt so swish in my massive massive room with its little seating area and then chopping and changing around and I do remember at one point as well I'd got four poster beds so I put those curtains on it I thought it was in some kind of Romeo and Juliet kind of thing oh love I'm so do you know what your bedroom sounds lovely I I love the idea of a big bedroom I was also jealous of um we had somebody else on who had a sink in their bedroom and for me a sink or a telephone in your bedroom for me height of sophistication and now I'm going to add your curtains around the bed to that list because I would have been very envious um your first the

purple and yellow is giving groovy chick it feels like you had some sort of groovy chick bedroom yes I loved groovy chick and I think I would have been a bit younger than my teen years but I I loved groovy chick I thought that was like the height of sophistication it was so cool and I loved Groovy Chick. I thought that was like the height of sophistication. It was so cool. And I loved things like Tammy Girl and that kind of thing. Do you remember that? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Loved that kind of thing.

Did you have inflatable chairs? Were you of the year? I did at one point. Stop it. Yes, I did at one point. What was, they, they still in shops. And I'm like, how? Because they never lasted.

They never, ever lasted. Like like and I had as well do you remember those well they're still around so yeah but those massive leather like pleather they weren't leather but um beanbags oh yeah instead of sofa so when I traded out my plastic chair and my lava lamp and my electric ball thing that you put your hands on you can still get one of them yeah yeah yeah Toby's got one in his room and he's like isn't it so cool I'm like yes I remember having one of them when I traded out all of those and I got rid of my big plastic chair I then had one of these what I thought was very swish it was so uncomfortable so uncomfortable just like a big beige pleather slug oh that was a sweaty and summer

and horrible and i just thought i was so cool with it i loved it i missed the inflatables years because i was an adult by then but um i'm a bit sad i've had a lot of people on the podcast who had inflatable bags as well inflatable bins they had a whole inflatable world that i missed out on i'm a little bit sad did you not have any posters of boys or bands up or you're not allowed to? I my posters were less boys and bands I think I had like the odd Leonardo DiCaprio poster and that kind of thing and Brad Pitt who didn't who didn't but my posters were more like I remember distinctly having this massive poster and it

was a cat hanging on a tree and it just said, oh shit on it. And I clearly thought that it was like the funniest thing ever because I think I just was allowed to have a swear in my room and it was like, oh shit, it was hilarious to me. But posters of boys and bands and things not so much I've never really been a poster girl my kids are now yeah they like Ruben really loves posters and Edith's obviously got the customary Taylor Swift posters up in her room. Of course. Naturally. We've got Taylor and Olivia here I struggle still with Blu-Tack but when I put Blu-Tack posters in my kids rooms it just falls off there's a slight change in the weather if it gets too cold or too hot they just all drop to the floor in the middle of the night it's very frustrating

I've been tempted to nail them in but I think Stephen would kill me yeah yeah or you know you get those um like strip things now don't you where you can stick them on command strips that's what I'm thinking of you can't do that with a poster can't really do that with a poster I do that with all my pictures and then when I pull pictures off it just pulls all the paintwork off it's not it's not quite as efficient as you think it's gonna be okay so no posters but did you have crushes I like to hear a nice 90s noughties crush yes I did I definitely had I definitely had a crush on Eminem trying to think who else I had a really big crush on I can't who did I have a really big crush on because I remember distinctly having some massive crushes oh I tell you one that was absolutely ridiculous but you're proper

gonna laugh at me because he's so 90s and there were two oh good god, giving out the daddy issues on this one, one was Steven Seagal stop laughing at me stop it one was Steven Seagal because I was into martial arts when I was 14 and the other

was Sean Bean what was Sean being in he he game of thrones i think he was wasn't he was yeah but what was he in the 90s and the 90s he wasn't in he wasn't in the full month he was a sure no what did he do he did loads he did so many ste Steven Seagal, I used to watch all of his movies. And they're all so really weird. That is a really weird one. That is so violent. That is such a weird one, isn't it?

Yeah. It's like in your 14-year-old head, do you think you were like, I could perhaps go and do karate with him and then we might kiss? Maybe. Potentially. Potentially.

And I think there were some younger, hot people, but who was the other one Kevin Costner it was Robin Hood that did it for me. Robin Hood Prince of Thieves yeah Robin Hood Prince of Thieves he was still an older gentleman. Yes he was like I said we're exposing the daddy issues here because all of those I am keenly aware are older men. Yeah okay so there's a knock at the door now and it was Steven Seagal I'd probably help him with his Zimmer frame. Would you? Okay, but it's a very old man.

Okay, this is a scenario. There's time travels involved, okay? Okay. So you're you now. We're on this podcast. Knock at the door. Stephen Seagal from 2003 is at it. Would your heart still flutter?

Probably. Possibly. If it was Kevin Costner, absolutely. If it was Sean Bean, no. But I think possibly Stephen could always have a little piece of my heart. Such a random, weird one. I think I loved the movies because they were martial arts. I was obsessed with martial arts.

And I just thought he was so cool very tan it was a tanned man wasn't he Stephen Seagal he was very tall so if you're listening don't bother knocking on unless you've got eight he's still with us isn't he I believe so I haven't looked him up for a while if you're if you're not still with us I do apologize but I'm hope you're doing well Stephen okay so what kind of school did you go to I went to just a normal secondary school I hated secondary school yeah absolutely hated it like I had the worst time at school I was always bullied for my weight um I just had such a naff experience at school. In fact, I did my very, very best not to go to school. That was kind of my thing. And I think part of it was anxiety around going to school and that kind of thing. But I just I hated being there. I was really academic as well.

So it was kind of like it would have been ideal if I would have been there more. That's a shame. But you're studying now, aren't you? So you're getting to kind of like use your brain and like kind of older did you go to college and uni and stuff or did you just like get a job I went to college I went on to college because I really loved studying and I always have so I think it was more just than not really getting on with people and then when I did get the confidence to go in I did have my little friendship group and we were fine. But I really struggled with that kind of thing. I always say to the kids, I think I had about 22 percent attendance at school. I know. So when I get letters through now and it's like your children's attendance has slid below 95.

I'm like, come back on. It's 22. Come on now. That's not that bad. So is that a case of your mom not trying to get you in or is it just a case of you just hiding and running away from she couldn't find you a bit of well no it was always actually mom not trying to get me in I never once played hockey never once never had that experience I just didn't go in and she was okay with that yeah that was kind of the experience there of not really but not really having that parental figure behind me to be like, come on, you've got to go. Even if you don't want to, you've got to go. But that was, I think that's symptomatic of being a teenager who is given the freelance to choose whatever they wanted. The only time that I would feel kind of good about going to school is when I would have my Walkman on the way to school. And I used to have to walk, which I'd chosen a school

that was about half an hour walk away. So when my kids are like, I've got to walk around to school and it's like two minutes from the house, I'm like, guys, come on, pull up. And I used to love that walk because I'd have my music blaring really loud in my ears and trudging along. Yeah, you feel like an adult.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feeling like an adult. And then I'd get there and hate it. And then I'd get my trudge home with my Walkman but if the batteries ran out that was like the worst thing in the world I know batteries yeah do we have rechargeable batteries then I'm not sure I don't think I ever used rechargeable ones I think I just yeah I feel like maybe my dad had like a rechargeable battery machine yeah it's difficult with kids because kids like the a month doesn't go past without my kids going i don't really want to go today and you're like well so if you go in but if you've got no one saying well tough you go

in well then they wouldn't go they'd just be like i'm just gonna sit home watch telly all day yeah okay then cool yeah you always have to do a bit of like well is your leg i was like is your leg hanging off are you being what come on you and then they come back I'm like oh yeah it's fine um okay so in the hierarchy you had your little gang but you just kind of like didn't really go in and you were just kind of when you were there did you just keep your head down yes for the most part I think I did keep my head down I was never one of the popular kids never one I've never been one of the popular kids I was never kind of in like that group where everyone was really cool I remember always looking at that group and being like oh they're so cool yeah I and just not just not being that cool but my own

little friendship group I think we we had our own little thing going on and we really enjoyed the time that we were together that was always really nice I want to hear um about your first snog my first snog oh okay it was with a much older person um I think well were they much older actually no my first snog it wasn't a much older? Actually, no. My first snog, it wasn't a much older person. My first snog, he was a couple of years older than me. He was at college. I was in my last kind of year of school. And yeah, I justs and oh this is so loving and romantic it was a little bit like i'm not really keen on this it's a universal experience we've had one person i think this is the fifth you're like the 50th or 60th person nobody's like there was one person and that was um ellie from the scummy mummies she she loved it. Apart from everybody else, it's been like wet, washing machine. Washing machine!

I do remember coming home, and this was after, this was when I was much older, and saying to a friend, we could call him the washing machine man because the snog in the club had not, it had not slapped. It was like, it was not giving. But we got it out of the way. But we did. And we looked at the little box and we were like, okay. It's just not what it looks like in the movies.

It is not at all. It was all teeth. Yeah. When I'm watching films with Erin, I'm quite often like, you know, romance in Netflix shows is not quite what actual real life is like, unfortunately. So we have to be mindful of that. Yeah. First snugs. Okay. okay fashion faux pas what were you wearing anything that was absolutely truly terrible oh I had all sorts of absolutely truly

terrible things one thing that immediately comes to mind you know how big baggy trousers are back in now I think I get a little bit of trauma come back up when I see some of them because I had some bright. And when I say bright, please believe me when I say like neon fuchsia with the hooks so that I could hook chains on them if I wanted to. Low rise cargo pants that were like so wide, so wide and low rise. And I used to wear them with a white top that was long sleeve, but had the sleeves done together by ribbons. Nice. Interesting. And the ribbon would like fluff down your hand.

And then I used to wear my thong, G-string style thong, pulled right up so that you could see that. Yeah. Yeah. And I always used to get, can you pull your trousers up or push that down it'd be like that's the style I think it was like uh TLC and no scrubs kind of I was just thinking that yeah yeah but um I was also thinking when you said I always used to get I thought you're gonna say I always used to get thrush I I believe that also could be why that traumatized me that could be with your five for five pound thumbs

from Topshop yes no no I was even worse I was from Primark I'm not sure Primark existed when I was little so yeah I think it what I think I could be wrong maybe it was Topshop I do remember going in Topshop a lot and having big shopping sprees I also remember being quite a bigger teenager nothing ever fitted me and just being like why does the size 10 not fit me I can't possibly buy a size 12 and just being like I can't possibly buy this bigger size because no I can't when absolutely I could yeah because size 12 still perfectly fine in it it's for Topshop was like a really had us in a chokehold, didn't it, Topshop? It really was the place to be. I used to love going to Topshop, getting the thongs, getting the, you know,

the pair of shoes that wouldn't last you the summer. But they were still quite expensive. Yes, they were. And I had a pair that were like these massive mammoth gold heels. And they were so gorgeous. And they didn't have them in my size, which is a size seven. And I was like, it's fine. I'll pick up the size six.

And there were those round toes. And I was just like, it'll be fine. I just remember my toes being so unbearably numb because I couldn't stand up properly in them. But I loved them so much. I was like, no, I'm going to wear them. I'm definitely going to wear them. No, two wears and they were done. They were done.

Your feet are amazing. And my feet have never repaired. You're like stumpy little toes. Okay, so anything you'd wear now that you wore them? I think I did have some quite cute like little pinafore style dresses. When I was really really tiny I would never wear trousers so I kind of made up for that when I got a little bit older. I always used to just wear like massive oversized t-shirts, never wore any dresses or any trousers anything like

that when I was tiny tiny and then when I got into my teen years I think I had some like and again I think they came from Topshop, some really nice pinafore style dresses I thought were quite cool I'd probably wear them again now and then I do think that I had a really nice I remember one top in particular it was like a little strappy top that had got rose kind of things on it and I can't even describe it to make it sound lovely but it it sounds awful it was like a beigey colour with like pink dusky roses on it and it got some like roses on here it looked really pretty it looks really pretty and I think I would probably pull that back out again now oh nice okay so we talk fashion faux pas have you got any flops from being a teenager you just think oh I kind of regret that oh any flops from being a teenager? You just think, oh, I kind of regret that. Oh, any flops from when I was a teenager?

Hmm. I had the biggest crush on a boy called Lewis, who I'd been friends with since he was two years older than me. And I'd been friends with him since we were in nappies. And like his family had moved away and then they came back when he was an older teenager and I was just obsessed with him. And I remember like having this big fallout with him because he started dating a girl that he had got he'd got a big crush on and just being so betrayed and being like how could you we were gonna get married and be together forever and he had no idea that I even had a crush on him because I was just that annoying little girl who came round with because our mums

were friends I remember that I wish I hadn't like poured my heart out and I did it I did it I did it again I was quite a pour my heart out teenager I think I did it again to a boy that I had a big crush on at um martial arts and I wrote him a letter I wrote him a letter telling him how much he how important he was to me and how he was like a big brother but really important to me a big brother yeah exactly and I thought it was safer to go in with the big brother angle than to go in with the I'd like to have your babies one day I don't know what that'll mean but honestly I was I was so embarrassing when it came to boys so embarrassing I like you wore your heart on your sleeve that's nice yeah no I don't did he

reply to the letter or was he just like he didn't but he did share it with a load of other people now as an adult I'm like that that's a jerk move but when I was a teenager and I remember nobody ever told me that he shared those the letter until I was much, much, much older. But there were a couple of like giggles the next day and I just kind of knew. But oh God, it was so embarrassing. No, shame on him. Shame on him. I agree.

Shame on him. That's what I said. That was such a low move. Carl, you scumbag. He's listening with Steve and Seagal if he's still with us. They're both listening to us today. Okay, what was your biggest teenage success, do you think? Biggest teenage success?

I think getting to, I think getting to the end of school and then getting accepted into college. For me, I really struggled with maths. And I managed to get a C in maths, which was like a huge achievement for me, because everything else, even without being there, I was doing absolutely fine. I wasn't struggling with any of the other subjects. I was on par for everything else. But with maths, I was told if you want to go on to college and do business studies, and you want to do psychology, and you want to do psychology and you want to do law which I did for two of those you're going to need maths at least a level c and I was so stressed about it because one I wasn't attending two I was terrible at maths and I'd really got it in my head that I couldn't so

I think for me achieving that c and then being accepted into college on the courses that I wanted to be on that was such a huge thing for teenage Harriet. Yeah, that's amazing. Imagine if you'd gone there all the time, you probably would have excelled at it, wouldn't it? Getting a C and only being there like 20% of the time is pretty... I got a C and I was there 100% of the time. I was terrible. I was so terrible at math. And the kids now, they come with me and I can't do their homework.

No idea what they're talking about. I can't do their homework no idea what they're talking about I don't think anybody ever can do their kids homework unless they are a maths teacher or a teacher of that subject and you know what the answers are meant to be I can't do it but somebody else said on the podcast it was Claire and she said um you know because the teachers used to say to us well it's not like you're gonna be walking around with a calculator and we're like we literally are we quite literally are quite literally are always walking around with a calculator so I do kind of say that's because I'm like but we literally are walking around with a calculator constantly we've got a calculator okay are you glad you grew up um then or do you wish

you were growing up now hmm I think now gets a lot of bad stick but knowing the bullying that I did face I think it would have been 10 times worse if there was like social media and that kind of thing knowing how cringe I could be at times especially with boys I think that could have been 10 times worse so I think in a way I'm glad that I grew up when I did I'm also glad that I grew up and like I had my big stereo and I felt really cool in my bedroom. And there wasn't as much expectation, I guess, from peers and things to be constantly available or like constantly on it. When I was little, there weren't there wasn't phones and things for everybody. And then when we got a little bit older, everybody was on a pay as you go sim where you only got like 200 text messages a month. And you had to play snake to pass the time.

There wasn't anything where you could constantly be connected. So I think then I'm pleased that I grew up then. But the awareness of things like mental health, neurodivergence, because I've only just been diagnosed ADHD in my 30s I think that should have absolutely been picked up then and had it been now I completely would have been and had it been now a lot of the things that I was experiencing I wouldn't have experienced them because social services would have been more involved so I think it's kind of a mixed bag kind of a mixed bag but in some ways I'm pleased I grew up then yeah yeah because that letter would have been screenshot and put on tiktok or whatever letter and it would have been yeah because that's what rotten boys are like okay if you could go

back to Harriet then and tell us and think what would it be oh no I would tell her that it's going to be okay yeah I would tell her that it's going to be okay and that you know I would tell her not to keep living with her mother and allow her mother to live with her because that that definitely that enmeshed relationship that I had with my mum that that wasn't healthy. I would have told her to go to university and kind of meet new people, spread her wings a bit and enjoy her life for her, not trying to live it to be the daughter that her mum wanted her to be. That's something that I would have told her. But the overall thing that I would have wanted to tell her is that it's going to be okay. One day you are going to be okay. You're going to have all of the things that you dreamt of you're

going you're going to build the life that you wanted and no one can take that away from you and that I think that would have been a big thing for me to let her know oh Harriet I want to go back with you and tell her with Steven Seagal and we're gonna all sit down together she'd be terrified could you imagine if there's a lock on the door she'd be mortified she'd be mortified she'd probably come with some kind of sass and be like you can't come in here but I mean if Stephen was with you she'd probably think you were cool to be fair yeah to be fair it's difficult because I think anybody going back and talking to the teenager I think all of us as teenagers have just been like who is that weird old lady yeah and I would have thought it was old

as well I'm in my 30s and I would have been convinced that that was what my kids are convinced that I'm old now and I'm like I'm not I'm a spring chicken and they're like no you're not same age as Taylor Swift but that's what I said this is what I say same age as T Swift um Harriet thanks so much for coming on the podcast guys again don't forget to go and follow Harriet I will leave all her links below in the description box um if you're having sort of what would you call not parental issues what would you call it that if people have yeah if you are navigating a dysfunctional family that's kind of how i think of it because not everybody wants to be estranged that's not the path that works for everybody to

cut contact completely but for some, there's maybe just navigating slightly dysfunctional family relationships and wanting to set some boundaries in them and to be able to have a healthier dynamic where you can get your point across without it being nasty or without it, you know, devolving into arguments. So if you're navigating dysfunction or toxic family relationships, I'm your girl. Yeah, she's your girl. And I'll leave a link to a podcast as well. Guys, thanks so much for listening to another episode of the Phone Box podcast.

Please do go and follow my Instagram account. We're going to do a poll. And this week I am going to do a poll of, I think I'm just going to pick some of the films from 2003 and people can just pick the best one. I think that's what I'm going to do. I like that. Yeah, I think I'm going to do that.

And also I'm on Brummie Mummy of two. So you can just go and check me out what I'm doing day to day, like that. Yeah, I think I'm going to do that. And also, I'm on Bromium and Me Up too, so you can just go and check me out what I'm doing day to day, which generally is just, I don't know, a bit boring, watching telly. God, guys, I inspire you to come and follow me. Yeah, come and follow, come and follow. I feel the same, though.

It's like you get to this point in your life where you're like, I just want my peace. It's just mum life, isn't it? I'm just enjoying my life. A bit of chocolate. Yes, it's normal right guys i will see you for another episode next week or hear you for another episode next week see you later harriet thanks for coming on again bye

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