The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Knee Deep In Life : Fashion Faux Pas & First Snogs

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Kickstarting the Phonebox Podcast we have the AMAZING Laura Belbin aka the Sunday Times bestselling author and general all round hilarious queen of social media, Knee Deep In Life. Who spent the 90's in parks wearing her swimming costume as a top and dreaming of kissing Peter Andre's Nipples.If you want to see more of Laura follow her on Instagram, read her amazing Wife, Mother Realist and try and grab one of the last tickets to her stand up tour. She can also be found hosting the No Holes Barred podcast with Victoria Emes.For more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok.Email [e-mail] for guest suggestions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hello guys and welcome to the very first episode of the Phone Box podcast this is the podcast where we reminisce where we take a little a little route down our history we look at nostalgia we chat about people we fancied the highs the lows and the in-betweens of the teenagers and on this first episode i am so excited because i have got laura on it aka knee deep in life across all your social media she's everywhere she's also a best-selling author i will leave a link in the description to the books that she's released and she currently has a tour on sale i think there's only a few tickets left this woman was so gracious to come on my

podcast i had never met her we chatted a bit over direct messages. We watch each of the social media and you know, when you meet somebody and you immediately click, she was just wonderful. She was so warm. She was so opening. She was so inviting. And I'm going to tell you, it's a little bit of an embarrassing story. Currently got perimenopause, guys. Currently got perimenopause. And sometimes you get a bit of a brain fog. And Laura sat down and we, you know, had to do the podcast. And I just had to say, Laura, can I stop you there? I've forgotten where the record button is. She has her own podcast. And I was like, could you remind me? Laura, could you just remind me where the podcast record button is, please? So she told me and I managed to could you remind me Laura could you just remind me where the podcast

record button is please so she told me and I managed to record it so if it wasn't for her this thing wouldn't have been recorded now I am going to give a little bit of a warning and I will do every week with regards to the podcast episodes this is a bit explicit it has some adult humor in it it's not a podcast to shove on while your kids are doing Play-Doh on a Sunday morning. This is a have a giggle while you're going for a walk. Maybe have a nice bath and have a little laugh. So I will issue that every week. It is funny.

She is great. She had some cracking stories. She grew up in the 90s. She's a bit younger than me, but I think a lot of people out there will relate to what she said about a teenager growing up in the 90s she's a bit younger than me but I think a lot of people out there will relate to what she said about a teenager growing up in the 90s so thanks so much for coming on Laura I hope you enjoy this very first episode um I was a little bit nervous but I think I got into the swing of things so uh Laura enjoy and welcome welcome to the phone box

podcast the first question I'm sorry i'm already i'm already talking it's fine the first question for you is you're in the phone box the year i want to know the year you were 14 and where you are and where you're phoning from go fucking hell i don't know what year of 2000 and i was when i was 14 i was born in 84 okay so what would it 2000 and 1994 no 98 be 98 wouldn't it 98 you're 14 98 I'm 14 I'm in a phone box yeah I'm calling from Grove Road phone box oh lovely what part of the country is that? That's Gosport. Where's Gosport? Gosport is the arse end of nowhere. Oh, lovely. It is perfectly adjacent to the Isle of Wight.

So when you go down to our local beach, that's what you'll see. Oh, that's nice though. Was it nice growing up in there when you were 14? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, you don't want to go in the sea because there's a lot of sewage dropping there. Lovely. But you can overlook the shit smell. Yeah, it, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I mean, you don't want to go in the sea because there's a lot of sewage dropping there. Lovely. You can overlook the shit smell.

Yeah, it's nice. I mean, we're still here, right? So we survive. So what were you like when you were 14? Were you snogging on the beach? Were you cool? Tell me what you were like. Do you think that I was cool, do you?

Yeah, I do actually, because I think you're kind of cool now. Shut up, that's such a bullshit answer uh the reality is very much the opposite oh oh dear what were you like i was i believe it or not i was exceptionally shy i was very very quiet um i didn't really go out and hang out um i will i had very very frizzy hair uh you know back then we didn't have straightening lines it was you had to iron it on the ironing board yep yep yep um I tried that once and you know it just didn't work my frizz didn't go down I just smell like fabric softness what color was your hair did you do you sun in or anything like that to dye it no mine was just mousy brown uh

but I started I mean I'm gonna really paint a real beautiful picture of me i'm excited i started going gray at 15 oh interesting that's called a tough paper route poor genetics i think is another term old move wasn't an option so yeah i was very quiet i was going gray I loved drama. So that was probably the only time if I were ever in like, you know, like my drama class, that's kind of the thespian would come out in me. But otherwise I was very quiet.

So in the hierarchy of your school. Oh Jesus. Where were you? Were you in the middle? Or were you kind of just keeping on to yourself? I'm going to be totally honest here. And it is not something to be totally honest here. Oh, gosh. I'm excited.

It is not something to be proud of, Emma. Okay. But the reason why I got by school was because I had a brother that was 10 years older than me and a sister that was seven years older than me, and I made up stories of how they, you know, horrifically wounded various different peoples around. Peoples. Peoples.

The peoples. People around our area. I said that my sister once got in a fight and bit a chunk of flesh out of a girl's finger and then had her up against the wall and choked her. And none of this was true? No. No. I said that my brother was, you know, in and out of prison at times

for being in sort of hand to hand combat. And not no prison. What was he really doing? I mean, I don't think for one second it wasn't questionable, but he hadn't gone to prison for it. OK, lovely. So, yeah, that got me by score quite nicely but I certainly wasn't I was kind of I knew the popular people and I knew the people that weren't popular and I kind of sat somewhere in the middle and then when a popular person kind of because you know some popular people they're fucking terrifying like they beat you up don't they right yep yep so if they ever approached I would kind of very loudly speak at the time when my sister nearly killed someone with her teeth.

And they were like, oh, we're not going to tackle her. Yeah, we can't fuck her. Obviously, that would be even worse. And then a couple of times I said to my brother, like my brother's really worried about the fact that I was being picked on at school. Now, remembering he's 10 years older than me. And so God love him. He walked up to the school to come and collect me. And I had forgotten and I left without him. And he came home exceptionally angry because he was like, Laura, I just. Creepy man at school date.

I basically, yeah, I look like a paedophile stood outside of school waiting for a underage child to leave. And then he never did it for me again. But yeah, God save older siblings. No, I've just got my younger sister and I went to an all-girls school. So that was a whole... Was that not tough? Really tough, yeah. It was tough.

It was tough. I'd say I was the funny girl. You know when you try and be funny to get in the popular gang? Yeah, you're like... And they're like, oh, come on, let her in. Go on, let her in. She makes us laugh. So that's how I got by.

So you were in the popular crowd, were you? By being the funny one. By proxy, right? Yeah, yeah yeah yeah just just kind of on the out nobody fancied me i was just on the outskirts oh no yeah no one fancied me no that wasn't no no when did you have your first snog if you don't mind me asking you don't have to say who with but i'd be rabidly excited if you did i have no filter darling so I was 16 okay yeah I know obviously I was 18 were you oh my god we're like the same person and it was with I believe I've been thinking about this this morning I believe it was a with a guy called Jordan oh Jordan that's a great that's a great 90s name though it was yeah he was very handsome

well I mean for them yeah for them not 16 year old boys not now no no I'm not into them not now no but I think that it could have you know when you're 16 and you're just like okay let's just let's jump on the horse back yeah yeah we need to get this this train moving uh i was very much open to many oh god was he the first person i kissed like yes i'm sure he was did he have floppy hair because i feel that was a nut well then again i suppose when you know he didn't he didn't no he didn't but yeah i know or spiky hair or maybe spiky hair no he didn't have spiky hair he just did he have hair was he really 16 i don't think he's got a man was he off age so he had hair it was very short okay i don't remember i know it wasn't flossing jordan if

you're listening send us a picture of your hair I don't believe he has hair anymore I sort of met with someone recently and they said he's how's Jordan's hair you said yeah not how is he you know uh how is the first love what was your what was your bedroom like I want to know did you have posters up what were you oh mate oh gosh oh god oh it was immense so i i had to roll up my michael jackson uh poster when my friends discovered all of the kiss marks i put around him michael jackson the man in the mirror was your man he was and then there was a uh a glassed frame so can we just appreciate lovely effort topless picture of peter andre yeah yeah nice mysterious girl and the the one benefit of that is that because it was obviously a glass frame it was

large it was very large and how large we're talking a3 oh it was bigger than that a2 i don't even yeah you're looking at that sort of size you're looking at almost like life size i've met him i've met him and he's quite small so that would be life size i met him it was life size well i met him in the 90s at a road show i met all i went to all the road shows so yeah life size oh no i and and boy zone was it not boys i did all of those boys own pj and duncan uh backstreet boys i got in a lift once with the whole of the backstreet boys but this isn't about me this isn't about me so uh yeah the benefit of the glass framed peter andre is that i i'm obviously that there was multiple kissing of his chest yeah nipples

absolutely all over six pack i could wipe it clean so nobody could see. And then there was a very unfortunate night where I woke up to the fact that he just fell clean off the wall and the glass smashed. Do you still fancy him now? He's not my type. Oh, right. Okay. Michael Jackson? Definitely not. No.

Yeah. Yeah. No. So just Peter Andre and Michael Jackson. Was that it? any footballers any tv shows I know not uh no but then I obviously had all of the magazines like the teen magazines and I can remember being probably around 15 and I bought this magazine with a free book and I remember what the book was called it was called diving iniving In. Dive, oh, was it a love story?

It was a love story. Oh, a love story routine. Oh my gosh, that sounds amazing. I was obsessed with it. Diving In. I think I watched it, I think I read it like three times because I was just like, oh my God, this is just so relatable to my life right now.

Yeah, yeah, because you're diving into love. You're diving in with Jordan. Yeah. Well, I hadn't met Jordan at that point. I hadn't met Jordan at that point. Oh, no, it was two years. But when you met Jordan, you were like... When I met Jordan, I was like, this is it.

Go back to diving in. Yeah, go back to diving in. It was, I can remember some parts of it. Yeah, I think I felt like a real grown-up because I'd read a book, you know? Did you read Judy Blume Forever? Was that around? Oh, you must read that.

Even now? Even now. Judy Blume Forever was a little bit rude. forever was that around oh you must read that even now even now judy bloom forever was a little bit rude oh and it caught on the willy and it's called ralph fanduel casinos exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly have you did you watch lady chatterley's lover no but i you i remember you posted on your stories and you were a little i'd lost the plot took you back to your diving in days it took me i tell you

what i'd have dived in. So we've got the bedroom. So we've worked out mousy hair, in love with Peter Andre. Buck teeth, don't forget. Oh, okay, buck teeth. No braces, just buck teeth. Fashion faux pas. What outfit did you once wear and you're like, I look great, with hindsight, you looked estate.

It was a mid-calf leopard print skirt okay flattering well it's not the leopard print that you would imagine of now because it was like furry and then the black areas were like netting i know did you see your pants was it a little bit see-through? Well, it was in areas, but it was okay because I wore my swimming costume. So that completed the... With trainers. Why were you wearing your swimming... Because you didn't have a body. You didn't have money for the body with the...

Did you not wear the buttons at the bottom? You just wore your swimming costume. I had a very long body, so they would give me horrific camel toe. So I just wore my Speedo swimming costume that was the speedo logo on it speedo logo I mean what else are you gonna do it's the 90s man you gotta work with what you got okay did you wear a jacket over the top to cover the no no no no no you were like speedo but don't forget white trainers and probably accompanied with an ankle sock because back then you couldn't show socks could you no socks are cool now but back then it was like if you seeing children with white socks it almost triggers a ptsd

response in me because i think oh my god how can they be doing that and not get beaten up i'm trying to think in what scenario you would be wearing this outfit was it I may have to go to the park to the park see my mates and and didn't anybody ever say are you wearing a swimming costume oh I don't doubt that and you're like yeah yeah absolutely what else am I gonna do what else am I gonna do My skirt's a bit see-through. Steve wasn't there for that, and yet he will still fondly remember of, like, the fact that I would wear my jeans and my Speedo costume.

So you work with jeans as well? Oh, it's multifunctional. You want to go for a dip? Just take your jeans off. I feel that that would be a recipe for thrush, swimming costume plus jeans. I... There's chafing. There's a lot of chafeing yeah okay okay i'm not gonna shame you it's okay you know i i'm i'm okay with being shamed because i acknowledge that it was poor choice

and i made a lot of bad choices but that really and i went through the extreme obsession of like the big platform heels oh spice girls we're talking you know like extreme the bigger the better yeah i had mine from top shop well i think i think i might have even got a pair my mum and dad unfortunately we drove to germany don't talk to me about it it was it was hideous uh i had travel sickness because i ate about 15 kinder eggs no and after which point my mum went oh oh, Laura, you shouldn't have eaten chocolate. Oh, thanks for the heads up, Sue. Thanks.

So, and I think I got a pet even bigger out there. I was like, the child. And I bet you came back and you were like, look. And people are like, where did you get them from? Topshop. And you were like, no, Germany. Mum took me to Germany. Fire a 27-hour drive.

You're like, they're from Germany? And everyone would be like, have you seen them? They're from Germany. Oh, my gosh. I'm a bit jealous. Well, it never worked out that way, but thank you for thinking it did. Yeah, okay. That's really sweet of you.

Because just remember, I'm 5'10", so you're going to add a good couple of feet on top of that. And I literally look like a fucking giraffe. what who did you think you were channeling were you thinking sporty spice were you thinking we're thinking posh spice I can't think the other spices I'm gonna be honest with you and I'm gonna say that my level of representation around what I believe to be fashion okay very individual okay good um so and i i kind of recognize that in one of my kids now that just has no real um just definition of what is socially you know normal i like that free spirit individuality i think it's called yeah opening up to being bullied is another one wide open wide open yeah what was your fashion i know i'm not meant to be asking you i'm sorry but i like to i like to know everything this is always at the forefront of my mind because i

imagine you to be cool it was awful so um i went to an all-girls school and every few weeks they did a disco at the boys' school. Now, I like Batman. You like Batman? I really liked Batman. So I wore, I wore, I didn't wear a Batman outfit. Okay, that's better. I wore a black mini skirt with a Batman logo on it. I wore a jumper with a Batman logo on it. I wore, I wore fake Converse.

One side had the Joker on it. One side had, yeah, you guessed it, Batman on it i wore i wore fake converse one side had the joker on it one side had yeah you guessed it batman on it i arrived at the disco and i walked in and all the boys turned around and went and i had to run out chase my mom's car down to go home oh my i got changed and i went back again i just hope nobody noticed i still think about it what was i thinking i remember because this again remembering the fact that i just didn't know about fashion no and my my my mum and dad's next door neighbor they had the mckay's catalog okay catalog and mum was like right okay you're allowed to choose a pair of trainers yeah and i think a pair of shoes whatever it was it was something clearly getting it on credit so that was why i was getting it and i was like oh my god

i can't even say it because i know what did you i was like oh God, these trainers light up. LA Gears. LA Gears, what are they called? No, no, no. But you see, I wore Batman Converse, so I probably would have thought. I was like in love with them. And then they arrived and I was like, is that a place? Oh my God. Yeah.

And I went to my first PE lesson and people were like oh my god Laura's got LA gears on oh my god well that was the last time they got seen I did PE and every time I was like I've got my trainers yeah I'll just do it in my pod yeah I don't think I wore my Batman converse I think in my head I thought, oh, people like Batman and I really lent into it. You went hard. I went, they like Batman, they're going to like me. Someone's going to kiss me tonight. No.

It was another six years. Spoiler, no one kissed me. But you know, what a wait though. It was so worth it. No, it wasn't. No first kiss is worth it. No, it's terrible. I was like a trembling wreck. Yeah, it was at a bus stop. What was your greatest teenage success?

We've talked about failures. I want to know, you were like, yes, I have smashed this. There's got to be one where you felt like you were just ace. I've got a B in drama. Oh, well done. Is that it? Yeah. In your whole teenage years?

I've got to be in drama. Did you ever pull somebody that other girls really liked? Well, the thing is, after I had my first kiss, I became a bit of a kissing slag after that. Oh, right. Okay. So there was one guy. His name was Danny.

Danny. Like Danny Zuko from Grease. He was fit. He was proper fit as in like even back then yeah so now yeah i'd still get off with him yeah yeah yeah yeah have you seen him recently no i wouldn't have a clue he's probably a you know a drug addict of some description i'm bald yeah probably both oh so danny that's a success. And also managing to, oh God, I mean, you're really opening it up here. Managing to pull a guy that I really, really, really liked. And I went back to his house and I lied to my parents and said I was sleeping at my friend's house.

I wasn't. I wasn't. I was 17. 17, that's fine. Yeah, that's great. So oh being a Tina you're so exciting isn't it I know it was terrifying and exciting and I was just so so drunk there's terrible bits there are terrible bits but there's some bits that you're just like oh that was just great yeah yeah absolutely and just like living those first experiences of like you know that first

kiss like you don't know you can't get that back yeah maybe if you was because we've been with our respective steves stevens yeah for a very long time maybe if we went with them and we were to then kiss somebody else maybe that level of nervousness would come back because we've it's somebody different yeah which I fantasize about all the time um but otherwise I just feel like those first they're terrifying and they're horrible but also there's so much exhilaration yeah yeah yeah because my my daughter is going to be 13 this year oh my god is she she's entering the teen years and I just think oh you've got you've got terrible bits but you've got some exciting bits coming up in the kind of the next the next seven years there's there's there's some thrills and it kind of leads me on to me my last question which is are you glad you're a teenager then or do you

wish you're a teenager now not even one percent of me wishes I could be a teenager now I can't imagine it it would be awful imagine people taking photos of you imagine oh my god imagine me at the disco right not the nana nana nana they'd record you tick tock it they tick tock it they'd add the nana nana nana's on show it on tick tock I'd go viral I'd be the na-na-na-na-na-na girl. And you know that they would have followed you. Oh God, she'd be like, and they'd speed up and they'd add smoke to my feet. And then they'd have like the Joker, like go, at the end. And I'd be TikTok viral.

Life ruined. It would be. That would be your whole existence ruined. What, I'm so glad. Yeah, it's just just it's such a terrifying time to grow up in now and no it is i would have i know that me back then i would have been all over social media i would have loved all of it oh god you'd have been obsessed i would have been obsessed i remember about your speedo top it'd be just like look at me in my speedo oh my gosh yeah what do you think of my dress and trainers um and my orange makeup from the market so back when i was in school so

probably 14 15 year old laura and i'm in science class yeah and there's a local radio station i'm sure it was wave 105 and they were like oh they they have this thing where they post the hottest and the ugliest. That's a bit much. And my friend genuinely went, I'm not sure if you're on the ugly list. Who says that? We're not friends anymore. No, she sounds terrible. She was a bitch.

She was a bitch. And on that note. Oh, it's so lovely to speak to you it's so lovely to meet you face to face and i mean it's it's been a journey hasn't it and meeting you has been exactly what i expected it to be same i really wanted to get people on the podcast that i thought i would that gave me as what the teens say good vibes yeah that's the thing vibing vibing from your tribe no I don't think they say vibing from my truck no I think wait thanks Laura um and I will speak to you soon thank you very much bye it was so amazing to speak to Laura she as I as I said at the beginning, she was just one of those people that you immediately click with. She made me feel so warm and like happy.

And we literally chatted for two hours. We talked so much before recording the podcast and after recording the podcast. And I know this podcast episode might be a little bit shorter than some of them because I was a bit nervous. I didn't really know what I was doing. And I just kind of was like, and I finished it a bit quick. But it was just so much fun to chat to somebody that was just, you know, as she said, she was just like what you think she would be. Sometimes when you see people online, they are very different when you meet them. But she was just like 100% amazing human. You must make sure you go and follow Laura over on social media.

She is knee deep in life and she does some absolutely hilarious videos. She's got a bit of a naughty sense of humor. But you know what? Sometimes that's just what you need when you scroll in you need a bit of a giggle thanks so much for listening to this episode of the podcast i cannot wait to come back next week with another amazing guest and um you know what i think once you leave this you should go to your living room and get the first ever batman film you know the one with jack nicholson the one with michael keaton sit down watch it and think of me see you soon guys love

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