The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Laura Adlington: Finding Your Tribe

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

She fancied Craig David and wore an Adidas tracksuit to be like Sporty Spice. This week the amazing podcaster, former Bake Off contestant and my style icon, Laura Adlington calls up on The Phonebox Podcast and chats about her teenage years. That weren't quite as golden as everyone expects them to be. She tells us all about her emo stage, how hard it is to fall out with besties and how she would much prefer to be a teenager today.Go follow Laura on Instagram here and be sure to check out the Go Love Yourself Pod which she co hosts with Lauren Smith.For more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok.If you have any guest suggestions or topics you would like me to cover email [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello lovely ones and welcome to another edition of the Phone Box Podcast with me, Emma Conway. Hope you're well. Hope you've had a lovely week and I'm currently keeping you company while you go on a walk or you're doing the couch 5k or you're having a bath or I don't know cleaning out your pants drawer I hope you are all well this week is a really interesting chat with Laura Adlington she is a former great British Bake Off contestant she also is a force to be reckoned with over on social media. Her body positivity is so inspiring and her outfits are chef's kiss. The

frocks that lady wears are just stunning. She also has her own podcast, which is the Go Love Yourself podcast. And I will leave a link in the description to all the places where you can find it now. This podcast is a little bit different because not everybody enjoys their teenage years. And I think we need to remember that you are often told growing up, these are going to be the best years of your life if I could go back to school. But not everybody thinks like that. And not everybody experiences experiences that and there's certain parts of Laura's teenage years that you know just weren't that great so this is a really interesting chat she also talks about some stuff that I when I kind of put the you know put their earphones down and I phoned up Stephen and I was like oh my gosh like she's made me think about some things a little bit differently so you will hear me talk about that and I'll probably reference it a little bit at the end of our chitty chat. So welcome Laura to the podcast,

I hope you enjoy it and I will see you at the end. Hello and welcome to the phone box podcast. Laura how are we? I'm doing really well thanks, I'm really excited, I'm fangirling a little bit because I've followed you for ages and I think you're great so yeah I'm really excited to be here. Thank you and I'm excited to have you I love all the stuff you do online and I'm excited to learn a little bit more about teenage you now we've just established you're quite a bit younger than me quite a bit younger than me which is a bit it's a bit hard for me but it does mean that I would have been like a fully fledged grown adult during your teenage years. This is going to be all new stuff to me. So I'm excited. So the first question is, where were you living when you were 14?

What year was it? What year? Oh, my God. I'm awful at maths. Oh, my God. Oh, God. OK. Backtrack. Backtrack. So I'm 33. What year would it have been which i'm so bad at math okay yeah so it's you were born were you born in 99 89 i was born in 89 no it's 1989 you were born yeah so add on 13

14 14 So add on 13. 14. 14. This is so embarrassing. We're like fully fledged. I'm going for the menopause. You've got no excuse. I've got a cold. My brain is full of just air at the moment. So you were born in 1989.

So would it have been 2013? 13. 2013 2013 yeah that sounds it that sounds good so you wouldn't be phoning me from a phone box you'd be phoning me from a mobile phone probably wouldn't you? I probably had like a Nokia 3210 with snake on it yeah that makes me feel old yeah no photos there was no photos then was No, there was no Facebook. Definitely no Instagram. There was no, actually, there probably was MSN Messenger and MySpace, maybe just MySpace. Which, yeah, I mean, as a millennial, I think I was, yeah, we like kind of grew up with the evolution of the internet being kind of a big part of our lives. And we grew up with it which I always find really interesting I think you look back and yeah kind of wonder you're like pioneers

oh yeah massively I had I had we had nothing I didn't have phones you had to handwrite like if you're at university you had to handwrite your dissertation what did the dissertations and stuff yeah oh my handwriting stuff in and handing it in could you imagine i can't my son if i said right write a postcard to your nanny be like no that's a postcard let alone a flipping essay um so where were you living what part of the country were you in so i'm a born and bred at grosen girl g town bird massive if you don't know grosen it's also known as the armpit of kent no i really love it i mean i grew up there it's my home it's my heritage uh so i was living with

my mom and dad at the time of my brother that was just before my mom and dad divorced um so yeah i think i mean you didn't ask me this question but i'm telling you that like i think life was quite hard as a teenager for me. I think I was, I've always been like, I've always been fat. I was always been like the biggest one of my friendship group and all of that. And I really struggled at that age. I think it was the age where obviously everyone was discovering boys and boys didn't want to know me. Found it even at that age, very difficult to buy clothes on the high street because I was like probably like a size 18.

And it was, yeah, I didn't have the best teenage like life if I'm being honest I found it really hard I think I was one of those people that couldn't wait to get older yeah now I'm older I'm like I'm so much happier everyone says like school days are the best of your life fucking wasn't for me I hated it can I swear you you can swear to your heart's desire yeah that's fine for that no I'm joking sorry um yeah so I just had a really really rough time and I think I just didn't enjoy it I just don't think teenagers what they're cracked out to be did you uh did you because I tried to be the funny one to fit in to fit in with the girls I thought you know what yeah I'm gonna be just try and be funny and then I kind

of get to hang out with them the boys didn't fancy me but they would laugh at what I was saying and I went to an all-girls school as well so that was extra brutal um yeah you went to an all-girls school as well I did yeah yeah it's interesting what you're saying about that I think I've done a lot of like work and I again another reason why I really love being what you're doing in the kind of body confidence space but I've done a lot of like work and like research in that kind of world in the last couple of years and I realize it's a really common like trait if you grow up or if you are in like a marginalized body we do tend to overcompensate and there's like a concept in the fat activism movement called being the good fatty and it's where you kind of feel like you're always like supposed to be on a

diet supposed to be kind of almost making fun of yourself and being like the funny one the kind one the one that cooks for everyone the nurturing one and I think when I kind of learned that it made me take a step back a little bit and go ah I'm overcompensating here like don't need to do that like I'm enough like I'm I'm enough this is fascinating because when I'm in any kind of scenario I'm always trying to be the one that's making people feel relaxed making people feel you know and embracing people and I'm always I went to an event recently and I sat there and we're not even talking about teenage era we're just deep diving into something else but I was sat there and everyone like had to introduce themselves and everyone was like well I wrote this book and I did this and it got to me and I just I just instantly went in with the jokes and then I got out and I was like oh why did I do that it's so

weird I think it's like and I think like I really do think that you're a lovely person I think that sometimes it's a nice and endearing quality to have like to be able to kind of like take the piss out of yourself because so many people take themselves too seriously but also like yeah I think when I realize that that's quite a common thing and that you know it's really hard to like unlearn it but I'm like yeah I don't know maybe now you know that you don't you realize you don't need to overcompensate and do that they'll be I'll be on my HRT I'll be at peace and I won't be Stephen will be like who did I marry Who is this stranger in the house? Okay, so what was your bedroom like?

Did you have posters up? Did you have crushes up? I did. I had a Craig David poster, I remember. And I was also, I think that was about the age that I really got into pink, singer pink. And I still, it's very rare, I think, isn't it, that you like someone when you're a teenager or younger and then you still like them now i still really love her now like i'm a bit

obsessed with her um yeah my bedroom was small mess very messy i am now a bit of a neat freak i actually had um quite a bad bout of ocd when i was like 20 21 22. but yeah at the time slut palace absolute slut palace my bedroom was pink i think pink and orange disgustingly decorated filthy craig david poster and pink do you still fancy craig david now i mean he'd get it yeah he wouldn't want it but he'd get it get it on a monday and a tuesday etc and so on craig david yeah so far we've had people like Peter Andre Craig David obviously we've already discussed Gary Barlow we talked about him a party on Gary come on the podcast if you're listening um so what kind of music were you into was it just Craig David and Pink Pink is great though isn't she is great yeah I mean I think I was like a bit of like I definitely had a lot of teenage angst. I really like Pink, Christina Aguilera,

kind of got into like Green Day as well, like My Chemical Romance, Alanis Morissette, Four Non Blondes. I liked the kind of rocky stuff as well. Like my friends were all listening to, I mean, I did like the kind of Craig David R&B stuff, but anything that was like a bit miserable and a bit kind of like the world's

horrible were you a bit emo is that a bit of an yeah i was an emo kid at one point i dyed my hair black i had one of those do you remember those stud belts that came out yeah yeah because like do you remember joe deep marshwall that one either side is like a top yes i do yeah we should have done that for today we should have just my sister whenever my sister messaged me what are you going to wear for like I don't know Christmas day I'll be like Jodie Jodie Marsh belt top you're like not with these saggy tits oh god they ran my knees okay so you're a little bit emo yeah little a little bit emo um what where were you in the hierarchy of school?

Were you with the cool kids? Were you with the emo kids? No. No, I was the kid that always forgot the PE kit, hated sports. I was really into like creative stuff, to be fair, like the drama and all of that. But no, I didn't. Sorry, I might have been really miserable. I didn't really have.

This is what I wanted. This is what I wanted. Because you know what? Who said, someone doesn't kill you makes you stronger though it's true like yeah it's like look how amazing you are now and if anyone's listening because i do have some younger followers like this shows even if it's now you can get to the good stuff so no carry on yeah no i didn't really have many friends, to be honest with you, in school. I definitely always felt like a bit of a loser and felt quite isolated in that sense.

We had a group of girls in my year called, we used to call the Plastics, and they were like the bit of like the mean girls, very pretty, very slim, very fashionable, always had boyfriends and stuff. I definitely didn't fit in with them. I didn't really fit in with the emos. I didn't fit in with like the geeks,

the boffins and stuff. yeah I really struggled I had to kind of find my my place and my my people to be honest at school yeah it is it is a because my daughter's just started secondary school and it is so hard for me to take a step back and just let the friendship things kind of play out it's really difficult to watch her trying to find who she fits in and she's friends with somebody one day but then the next day they're not talking to them and obviously now they have whatsapp so that's a whole other new it's so and so whatsapp oh she's read my message which it's just a whole it is a whole it's a whole thing and I think you know I had some friendship issues at school and then that kind of does impact you a little bit like it triggers me a little bit watching her

so it is it's a kind of like a little bit of a rocky time um now I didn't have my first kiss till I was 18. Oh really? Yeah when was your first? Snog my god i feel like you're gonna say something what i was 11 so quite young and i went to woodville halls uh disco and he had an adidas t-shirt on and braces and do you remember i don't know if this was a thing when you were younger but it was like do you want to get off with me do you want to get off with me just do you want to just get off with me and you're just like oh yeah go on and I was like yeah I had this strapless mermaid kind of purple blue dress on from new look with a big slit up the side oh not a good look um and yeah I was like yeah all right then and yeah yeah braces and it was very very underwhelming every person I've spoke to has gone first kiss

not what they were imagining we've had somebody who snogged somebody in the smelt of burgers it's just it's just it's just this it's just not what you think it's going to be like but did you afterwards do you think yeah you're like yeah I've done it a bit like trying your first cigarette or something you're like you're sort of proud of yourself like that's a life achievement yeah didn't it tick but you know what you're saying it's like my daughter's 12 i'm like is she gonna go out in strapless mermaid tops and snog boy now you've got me terrified i want to go and pick her up from school and lock her up and she also i think going to girls schools makes you a bit boy crazy i think you think yeah I definitely do and especially when I left the guy stayed till I was 18 did you or yeah yeah I found going to university with with actual boys

I was like oh like even now I'm like oh you know I still yeah I'm so funny you said that because I still feel like I can't talk to boys, boys, men. Because growing up in an all-girls school, yeah, like you just didn't, I didn't have that interaction. It was like they were an alien species. Did you like going to an all-girls school? Because the good bits are you don't, I didn't worry about makeup once. Yeah. I just turned up looking like an absolute tramp all the time and it just wasn't bothered at all um and I think getting used to the bitchiness has made me a little bit tougher to some of the bitchiness I get online yeah yeah I agree I think

yeah same there are pros and cons really I felt like for me it was like more of a safe space I've always felt more comfortable around like women than men um so I think yeah for that reason it was good but also yeah it did mean that I just got yeah I got to uni and I was like I don't know how to talk to boys yeah I was just like who is the boy sat next to me and then I've just really I've always gone in in industries that's mainly women as well I went from um uni to PR women yeah pr to teaching mainly women and now this industry so even now i'm still like if i'm at an event and there's a daddy blogger i'm like just absolutely pathetic um okay so i want to know this is my favorite question your biggest

fashion faux pas but you thought you looked brilliant you You were like, I am, oh my God, I'm feeling it. But then hindsight, you're like, no, terrible. So obviously you remember Spice Girls. And I think at the time I was, I must, I was quite young. So I was probably like 10, 11, right? Thought I was cool. I wanted to be either Baby Spice or Male C. Must have been wanting to be sporty spice and i remember my

mom buying me a second hand uh adidas bright orange tracksuit which i think was for boys nice charity shop in grey's end and so yeah it was a matching bright orange with like blue stripes down the side and i remember wearing it to like wear what you like day or like dress down Friday when I was at school feeling like I am the shit yeah I am sporty yeah um and I got made fun of and I was like got home and I was like yeah fair and now I think yeah fair you're like with hindsight I actually had baby blue now I was an adult I was not 10 or 11 I would have been in my 20s and I remember going to a charity shop as well and getting baby blue um Adidas track seat bottoms that I wore quite a lot um probably with like I don't know a white t-shirt or I was

always trying to dress like the All Saints that was like a real the Appleton me and my sister we thought we were the Appleton sister the The Appleton sister of Birmingham. We probably still do, to be fair. We still think we're Nicole and Natalie. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600.

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Do you think, or your favourite fashion item that you owned? I honestly couldn't tell you because I genuinely just really, really struggled to find clothes that fit me at that age. I used to wear like my mum's clothes quite a lot, my nan's clothes. Oh no. Yeah, it was really hard and we didn't really have any money growing up um so I just couldn't I never felt like I and even now I still struggle sometimes to find the clothes that I want I was really into fashion but being bigger and not having a lot of money and this was before like the days of the

internet and asos curve and simply be and all the people that are like doing the online stuff now just couldn't buy couldn't buy stuff that was fashionable my size so i can't really answer that i was going i can't remember i was going somewhere um and i had a very short turnaround to buy an outfit and i hadn't i couldn't get anything from asos quick enough and i'm only a size 18 so you know it's still towards the kind of more standard size. And Stephen was like, we'll just go out and buy something. And I was like, I cannot. There's nowhere I can just go and buy something. There's not.

I can't do that. And that is one thing I really envy. And sometimes I will think if I could just wake up slim and then I could just go and just imagine just like walking. It always used to be Topshop. I mean, I know it doesn't exist anymore. I used to be like, imagine just walking into Topshop. And this is the outfit that I wanted to wear. Just a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. You know when people just look cool in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt?

I look like a sack of shit in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. It's really fun speaking to you, actually, because you've got a different perspective because I think in some ways social media and the world we're in now is is more helpful to to teenagers I mean I know there's a lot of negative stuff but we will come on to that a little bit later but what's your your biggest teenage success to think of one thing you just think do you know what? That was ace. Oh God, I don't know. You've really put me on the spot. Nothing like really stands out. I remember doing like the school plays.

Yeah. And like really enjoying those and feeling like really, like even though I didn't like have loads of confidence, just kind of like doing it. And yeah, cause I always loved like music and drama and stuff like that.

So probably that, but nothing that really kind of stands out. What plays did you do? We did Grease. My sister was Sandy. Imagine my anger. And I was Chacha, listen to this. I was Chacha Degorio's friend number two.

So I wasn't even her. I didn't even get to do the hand jive. I was just friend number two. I was nun number six in sister app so i feel your pain none i was yeah but i did end up actually going out with sunny and i see that as a result yeah he wore leather trousers and not in the play in real life so that's a whole another happy for you another story for you but what's your biggest teenage flop then what is there anything that you kind of think oh and you replay it in your head?

Oh, yeah. Yes, it was back in the day when, like, MySpace was a big thing. And I wrote all this really horrible stuff about my friends because I was kind of influenced by an older friend. They were never meant to find it, but they found it. And, like, even to this day, it's one of the biggest regrets of my life because they didn't deserve that, and that was really mean and bitchy it taught me a really good life lesson yeah yeah yeah obviously you can imagine 15 your friends are your world aren't they

yeah um and it really affected a lot of my young adult life so yeah that was a big big regret I don't really understand my space because i didn't have it what what what was it was it just like a bit like facebook or yeah kind of like facebook where you had like a profile and then you'd put like status updates and things like music that you liked and things like that really but it was definitely for like the emo kids you remember like the side fringes that started at one ear and went to the other ear that kind of thing yeah oh yeah no I did it yeah we've all done daft things with friends haven't we were like oh if I could just so did it kind of sever the friendship for good yeah yeah massively um and I think like there's

a couple of them that kind of talk to like small talk now but yeah completely like ruined that friendship um so I went into sort of sixth form really with like no friends and like no group no sense of belonging and it was my own fault completely my own fault and I like put my hands up to it like even now but it was just really shit obviously um yeah and then you start to beat yourself up yeah it is there's a lot of life lessons with friendships and stuff and the way people speak to each other. And, you know, I've had to chat with my kids and they'll be like, so-and-so said this. It's like, well, yeah, but what did you like? Kindness.

But imagine now in the world of social media, the stuff that people could put online about kids is, it is, that does worry me a little bit. Yeah, it does. because obviously we've both experienced trolling and trolls and negativity and I yeah I do worry but then other kids today perhaps a bit more uh they've adapted to it a bit better I don't know I think maybe so like I I mean I would if look if it was me in your situation I would definitely worry as well but then I also think that the future generation like they are I don't know if they're taught it or it's just a kind of new generation thing but they do seem to be more focused on kindness and empathy and calling out like homophobia racism and even like

even that phobia which does surprise me in a really lovely way so hopefully it's better for them than it was for us yeah I I do agree I do think the younger generation they're taught stuff in school that we weren't taught well I certainly wasn't taught when I went around looking at schools for um Erin the one the one library went in had like an LGBTQ section and then there was I mean that would never have happened at my school there was a feminist section again at my school um one of the feminist the headmistress stood up and said girls do not go upstairs in the bus because men will look up your skirts that was about as much wow as much advice and still even to this day I think oh because men

will look up your skirts and it wasn't like men shouldn't look up your skirts they're wrong guns it was like you don't don't tempt them you should be sitting downstairs don't you go upstairs on that bus it's like that is not that's not the messages that we want to be doing so so yeah that maybe they're a bit more maybe we shouldn't I shouldn't be as scared as I perhaps am if you could go back in time and tell yourself anything what would it be um I think I would tell myself to not worry as much and not to be so hard on myself um and that like it does get better because I think when you're growing up everyone always says oh there's the best years of your life and you know like you're so lucky and you've got so much freedom I never had I never felt freedom as a young person because I didn't feel like I looked like everyone else and I didn't really feel like I fit in.

And so I think I'd probably say to a young galore as well, it's all right to not be like everyone else and not be a sheep and you don't have to be part of the kind of the it crowd and the popular crowd. There's joy in life in being yourself yeah and it like yeah I guess like it would just be okay because I think I just worried so much at that age I just wanted to be normal wanted to fit in like my friends and wear what they wanted to wear and felt like a complete loser and now I feel like a loser in like a really great way.

Like I embrace it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I am not cool and that's fine. Yeah, same. I love it. It's absolutely fine. I think we spend so much of our teenage years trying to conform and trying to fit in. Yeah.

And I still feel certain incidents trigger me and I feel like I'm trying to do what I did when I was at school. I think especially in social media, because there's a lot of comparison, there's a lot of competing and a lot of events and you can turn up and you can still feel a little bit like you're back. Oh, my gosh, I'm back at school again. And it is that is quite it is quite difficult. Do you think you would have preferred to be a teenager now then than back then? That is a hard question. I think because of the, because of social media, it's a tricky one, right?

So social media gets a really bad reputation sometimes because of like the trolling and the comparison and the filters. I think that aspect I don't, I wouldn't like. But with social media, I've really found a community of people that are also in bigger bodies and have also grown up fat maybe and not been able to buy clothes. So I think, and that for me, like that has really validated my feelings and experience because I thought I was alone in that. So if I had that when I was younger, I feel like it would have made such a difference. And also if I'd have had like the internet and like been able to buy clothes and yeah,

maybe I would, you know, I don't know. Yeah. You can find your tribe. Like I found my tribe and a lot of, and I've connected with women that I wouldn't usually have connected with or I wouldn't have seen and I will say it has helped me feel a lot more confident seeing people like you seeing people like Jess um just seeing people live normal lives in different bodies to what you you know when I started social media like 10 years ago it wasn't like this it was still the perfect mum and oh she's baking oh she's getting unlike and I'm like oh my god I haven't

got dressed we're having fish fingers again petite this is what the fuck am I doing this is just awful um and as time has gone on I have I've found my trade the only thing I prefer back then, because none of my mistakes are on social media. Yeah. Yeah. We don't have to like worry about employers going, oh, there's Emma. But she's got her boobs out on a holiday. Nuki. We don't have to see any of that. But I think you're the first person that says you prefer it now. Really? Yeah.

And I think. Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah. And it's for the reasons that I thought people would say now, that there's more of a community of people and different types of people online. Yeah. I think representation is really important. And I think when you don't see yourself represented in the world,

you kind of can't help but associate that kind of absence with like, or the silence with like undesirability. And so like now seeing so many people that are like me on social media, like it does make me feel, yeah, like less of a, like a freak and stuff like that look like me on social media like it does make me feel yeah like less of a like a freak and stuff like that and like more normal and like I yeah I think if I'd have had that growing up and that someone to look up to that looked like me I think that would have made all the difference so yeah I I completely agree. It's definitely when I wanted to portray this more realistic idea of parenting and then I found other parents who were like, oh, my gosh,

this is really difficult as well. And that made me. So each stage of life you need to find your tribe that kind of, that like boosts you up a little bit. Oh, it's lovely to speak to you. And you. Thank you so much for having me on. You've said some really, you know just so you've said some really you know what

you've said some proper thought provoking I'm like sat here and I'm like some proper thought provoking stuff I remember being too miserable I'm really sorry but my childhood like I don't I really like good childhood like my parents are great and everything like that but it was it was hard so this is this is exactly why I wanted to do it like being a teenager is really hard it's not an easy thing and I remember sometimes you know you do things online and you get trolls but sometimes people who like you pull you up on things and I was like oh you know my daughter she's these are going to be the days of life and I had a lot of messages like no no these could be like not the days of her life and you need to also brace yourself for

that as well it's not always perfect it's not like it is in the you know the the film so lovely to speak to you thank you thank you so much and i will see you soon bye i told you it was absolutely brilliant speaking to laura i don't think she was just so interesting and she made me think about all sorts of different things i'm like am i overcompensating It was absolutely brilliant speaking to Laura. I think she was just so interesting. And she made me think about all sorts of different things. I'm like, am I overcompensating by trying to be the funny one? And I think I probably am. Winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots.

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See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. To be honest, she is really, really inspiring online. She's super open and vulnerable. And as I said, she gives the most amazing outfit inspo, which I really, really love. So I hope this podcast had you thinking about a few different things. I hope I've kept you company doing something fun be sure to direct message me over on social media by my mummy of two and say you know what Emma today I listened to this podcast whilst I was and tell me what you were doing I hope you have a really really lovely week and also

be sure to follow because in a few weeks, I've got another episode with somebody else who had kind of a similar sort of tale to Laura, a different perspective on being a teenager, which is equally as fascinating. So definitely stay tuned for that one. Right, my loves, have a wonderful week and I will see you same time, same place next Monday. Bye, guys.