The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Ola Pelo: Cleopatra Comin ATCHA & Fancying Floppy Haired Boys

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Who was singing "CLEOPATRA COMIN ATCHA!" when she was a teenager? Ola Pelo that's who! The most stylish Mum on social media chats on this weeks episode of The Phonebox Podcast about how she overcame terrible bullying at school. How she had a huge crush on floppy haired popstars and a hilarious tale involving a Littlewoods engagement ring.Be sure to follow Ola and her beautiful dancing family on instagram here or TikTok here!For more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok and follow the all new @phoneboxpodcast account on InstagramIf you have any guest suggestions or topics you would like me to cover email [e-mail] and be sure to tag so I can see where you are listening!Editing by Soundtruism. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello you lovely humans and welcome back for another episode of the phone box podcast with me Emma Conway. How are you doing? It's hot. It's really hot when I'm recording. This is so hot. If it was the nineties, this kind of heat would be front page of a tabloid newspaper. It would say few what a scorcher, few what a scorcher and you'd have old grannies eating cornettos in western maybe on a pier somewhere with a granddad with a hanky on his head that's how hot few what a scorcher it's that hot it's tabloid newspaper hot so wherever you are listening to this you might be dangling your feet in a paddling pool you might be going for a walk make sure you stop what you're doing and tag me, take a picture and

message me on by mummyof2 or also the phone box podcast. I would love to see where you are listening. It's my fave. And today we have an amazing episode. We have Ola who is a beautiful and brilliant online creator. She's a super mom with four kids. They do dancing. They do, oh my gosh, she does so much beautiful fashion if you like your kids twinning work go and check her account out immediately her daughter also does pearls of wisdom she's just brilliant and this episode was great because again we've got another example of somebody who had a bit of a tough time during their teenage years but kind of rose above it and turned out an absolute cracking lady. She is brill. She also tells a very funny story about a Littlewoods engagement ring, which still makes me laugh

every time I think about it. So be sure to stay to the end to check that out. Right, I'll see you at the end of the episode. And I've said it before, I'll say oh my gosh it's up hello all are welcome to the phone box podcast hi Emma it's so lovely to meet you kind of IRL I know right face to face we've chatted for ages we're both as crazy as each other and every yeah yeah yeah onto my feed I'm like this year a year with your beautiful family as well oh Oh, my gosh, you're a superwoman. Oh, thank you. With the children. And you just look so pretty.

Okay, I did prep you before. What year was it when you were 14? It was 2002. 2002, okay. So where were you growing up? I was in Bexley Heath. Like, so Bexley Heath area. Where's that? Is that London?

Yes, yes. Okay. We're like, Bexley Heath, so Bexley Heath area where's that is that London yes yes okay real like Bexley people say is Kent okay but yeah it is close to London and um what was that what year what year are you in when you're 14 is that year 10 year 10 yeah it's kind of you're starting your GCSEs aren't you so it's like a big I find when I was a teacher I'd find that would be the year that all the boys and the girls started to like fancy each other. And it was a real like, oh, yeah. So 2002, what was your bedroom like? Did you have posters up?

Do you know what was my bedroom like? I shared it with my sister and we had posters up of Cleopatra. Yes. There were these three girls with braids, these three black girls. Yeah. And it was like Cleopatra. Coming at you. Yeah. And it was like, Cleopatra. Coming at you. Yeah.

And then it was like, get a pen and paper and write down your name. I know. I still know all the words. Isn't it crazy how. Oh, they were so good. Yeah. Yeah. So I had Cleopatra up.

Westlife. Okay. Did you fancy any of Westlife or did you just like their music? I think it was Brian. Brian was. Which one's Brianrian oh kerry's kerry mcfadden's yes yes yes brian brian mcfadden right yeah yeah yeah yeah a little bit i love westlife n-sync as well n-sync was like ba ba ba that is n-sync isn't it yeah and i think that was

mainly mainly yeah so cleopatra i love from like because it was the only UK show that had like because I had braids in at the time yeah and I kind of really relate and yeah I used to jump on my bed as soon as that came up I had a cassette player in my room that you would put the empty cassette on one side and then you would record from the radio remember when you had to hold oh and then the DJ would speak just as you're like yeah you had to hold it down and then stop before they started speaking um i used to watch the box yeah on the team you remember the box it was oh my gosh i never had the box but i once um had a holiday romance and i went back to his house and he had the box and it was the happiest i just

we just sat for hours just what's what guessing what's gonna come on next oh the box and it was the happiest i just we just sat for hours just what's what guessing what's going to come on next oh the box yeah yeah so that was that the one you could phone it could you message in and request a song or is that another one yeah yes that was it and then they had the numbers scrolling yeah yeah so i think that was it me my sister shared a room it was like utem but i played i was very much like i didn't want to be into boys because it was that sort of, that when you're unsure of yourself stage as well. But anyway, we'll talk about that later. That was my bedroom. That was it. Oh, it sounds good.

Did you watch the Cleopatra TV show? There was a show, wasn't there? Yeah, it was a TV show. And then, yeah, it stopped after a while. And obviously I used to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I love Harvey. Oh, the hair. The floppy hair.

That's what I was talking said, the floppy hair. Harvey had the same hair as Brian McFadden. Yeah. They had like the same hair. I tell you what, the floppy hair has been brought up on so many. Is it? Because it was just a classic look. An absolute classic.

If a boy had a floppy hair, he had my heart. Yeah, it was. That was an absolute fact. Boy band, yes, yes, that was it, wasn't it? So in school, where were you kind of in the hierarchy? Were you the cool? Were you quiet? What were you doing?

I feel like I was the quietly confident one, but equally I was so much into sports. So a lot of my friends were boys. I was very much like challenging people to races on the athletics track and I think it was very I tried to avoid drama but it's interesting when you say the age 14 because that was actually one of the toughest years because I got really badly bullied oh I'm sorry do you know a couple of people on the podcast didn't have the greatest times in their teenage years and I think it's important for for that story to be told as well it's not

always the best days of your life is it it was horrible um it was absolutely horrible because um because I think I was a prefect at the time and um our school girls were only allowed to wear skirts so I started this campaign and I took it to the school council and then to the official council said because it was nice to have a choice when it got caught yeah I didn't just want to be able to wear like um a skirt and I wanted the option to wear trousers because I was such a and I hate the term tomboy I just love my sports and I just love to be in comfortable baggy clothes yeah yeah so people who I feel like people was like oh she thinks she's all lit it was that word

isn't it she thinks she's all lit and I'm the last person it's like I did so much to kind of not be too good so that people wouldn't think I was trying to be too good you know when you yeah yourself back you pretend you don't know things and then I think it got to that that was the turning point and I think that's where it starts that whole feeling like you have to play small but equally not wanting to deny knowing what you're capable of in most humblest humble of ways and thinking I really could change something here and if I don't do something then we're all going to still be in the same position even if people make fun of you you've got to go for it oh my gosh you sound like you were great but you know what I had a rib broken it was a bad period yeah I was so sad after school and yeah and even though she was my little sister who was two years older she was my

no one really messed with my little sister no and um i remember she gave us good we were both walking home from school and they jumped us both and my sister was like get off my sister and it i know it's gonna sound really gruesome they pulled both of their earrings out of their ears and it like oh this is awful so i don't want to just romanticize the teenage years without acknowledging the fact that probably a lot of people went through either whether it's physical bullying mental bullying emotional bullying every time I've been pregnant they have to keep an eye on that rib so it's it's actually because you can't put a cast around a fractured rib it'll always have that fracture that hair

so it's impacted you for like your whole life not just mentally but like actually physically did you stay at the school or did you move yes I stayed at the school we were dropped home for a while we had like um it was at community police walk us home for a little while and stuff and it was the whole you think you're too good and something that I just want to hit on as well you talk too white um and that was a very big thing for I I wasn't cool enough and and it's something I don't think it's a topic is spoken about enough about defining someone's culture by the way they are and yeah and you forget the fact that when people are brought up in different environment you speak if I lived in Birmingham I'd speak like you you

know yeah and I think that was also from like an identity point of view i was like so what am i supposed to be like if i didn't feel that that strong acceptance from like black friends because they didn't think i was black enough and i was like what is being black enough like how i speak um and i think it's something it's quite unspoken within the black community this measure of like blackness whether you act a certain way or dress or should be listening to a certain music if you listen to a bit of that oh gosh what you're listening to and it's really it made me really question a lot of things i used to go home and get my cam my dad's camcorder out and then i would record daily

diaries and be like they said this to me today and arrives above it and stuff and it was horrible so as much as i would go home watch cleopatra on and ci tv or whatever my bed and watch art attack and stuff i think there was a part of me that was going through this whole this is what's either going to break you your character or you're either going to have to just like work your way through this bullying and years later I interviewed one of the bullies on a job for a job my office and she looked at me and at that time I'd become assistant manager and she yeah I mean she was like I was really young I was like we were 14 15 and we I was like that's fine let's get on with this interview and if she wasn't a person for the role and then she started crying and for that it was weird it was a full circle moment that

made me think that I stood firm in who I was meant to be our paths had kind of we'd ended up we were gonna always gonna meet but at that point when they were bullying me they would get muffins in the canteen and squash it in my face at lunchtime and it was horrible it was horrible and um i got and the last straw i was 14 at the time was when one of the girls spat in my face and i think the lowest of the lowest of the lowest things that you can do and i grabbed her and i shoved her to the floor and i just i could just remember seeing just kicking her and it the first time, like, because I was getting told all the time by the teachers, you're a prefect, rise above it, rise above it. And I think that when being spat in my face, I thought, no, no.

I thought, no. And then I got excluded. And then they called my parents and said, it won't go on her record. It's funny, they used to blackmail us with this bloody record. Where's the record? I'm'm like and then they were like it won't go on her record but we need to show the school that we've taken equal amount of action and I'd been telling them that I was getting bullied and it was getting worse and stuff and I just that's the one and only time I've ever ever hit someone and that was when I was 14 so why did you pick that age what what was it about 14 because because when I was a secondary school teacher I found 14

is the one step into into kind of becoming an adult yeah I find that that's where the hormones are like raging um and I just feel 14 is you're as far away from being a kid as you are to being an adult. You're kind of just like stuck in this strange in between. So that's why I chose 14. I think it is a real, I don't know, it just is a real funny, a funny age. And I think a lot of people struggle because you don't really know who you are or what you do and where you're going. And I'm so sorry all that happened to you. Do you think if you could go back, what would would you say to yourself I don't think I would

change a thing I think it's really prepped me for it prepped me for how hard physically people can try and break you emotionally and I think that was the beginning of the making of who I am today kind of thing and what I would say to myself is just like you know just hang in there and I think I always did used to say that to myself in the form of my video diaries and the songs that I would write Natasha Bedingfield I used to like a lot of her songs that that's oh unwritten you know yeah yeah yeah you can I feel like when you see the sort of music that really remind you the soundtracks in my 14 year old life was i think unwritten if i had to choose something it was that yeah right so it's just like staring at this blank page before you don't start me off i know all the words open up the dirty

window of course you know there's a cracking song and what was it the hills was a cracking tv show yeah i'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you. But you have turned out pretty fantastic. Thanks. So that is good. I'm going to talk to you a little bit about, we know you like Cleopatra. Was there any other kind of music you were into?

Anything apart from Natasha Bedenfield? JLo, I really like. Oh, Jenny from the Block was a great song. i couldn't get was it was it the this is me album there was a really old album yeah album that had like um jenny from the block and all that yeah when you would buy the cds and you would read it and try and learn it and whitney who's oh my god oh yeah whitney houston was my favorite she was just timeless. I knew all the words. I had the double platinum album and everything. Again, that had all the words in. And you'd open it like that.

And the type was like font four. Yeah. But we could read it back then. I could not even read it now. We can just Google lyrics now, can't we? It's not like in the old days where you'd have to like, we're either going to get a magazine with them in, we've got to look at the teeny tiny little,

just squint and look at it. Oh, Whitney was great as well, wasn't she? What about Mariah? Did you like Mariah? I wasn't really a Mariah. I couldn't hit all those notes. I felt like I stayed in the safe zone with both. I couldn't hit those notes.

I feel like we should do a karaoke because I want to hear you sing a bit of Whitney. Oh, no, I would love it. Greatest Love of All, I would choose. Or, yeah, Cup Strikes. I Want to Dance with Somebody. Oh, yeah. When you're out and those songs come on, it's just like, oh, the dream, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm listening to Whitney now. Even Waiting to Excel, I was listening to last night. I haven't seen the film have you seen the film is it good yeah it's good yeah it's good oh I need to

I need to get I don't think Stephen will watch it with me maybe that'll be a little self-care afternoon okay so was your first crush Brian McFadden

or is there anybody else that springs to mind no my first crush was Lamar Lamar if there's any justice in the world I would be I would be that springs to mind. No, my first crush was Lamar. Lamar. If there's any justice in the world, I would be your... Oh, my gosh, yes.

I went to see Fame Academy live. Would you? I could imagine you done it, actually. I could imagine. The thing is, though, I wasn't 14 then, was I? I was like a fully grown woman. Lamar, Lamar, yes. Definitely Lamar.

He was my first. And he still kind of looks like the same because he's in a new film at the moment or a new series. And he was also in something with Jamedia recently as well. It was like a remake of Jacqueline Wilson books. Jamedia was another good,

like she's on Superstar. I don't know what it is. Yeah, good. I caught a lovely Brummie as well. One of my first blogging things, me and my little girl went to interview Jamelia. My little girl was like really little. I can't even remember what she asked. Like, what's your favourite ice cream or whatever?

And then we bumped into her years later and she went, you've interviewed me before with your little girl? I was like, oh, my gosh. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. If you saw Lamar now, would your heart flutter? Must be, you know.

I don't mean this to be cheesy, but like my husband, yeah, he literally, every time I look at him, he gives me butterflies. Like Darcy makes me feel like really giddy. But I think it was because we were friends before we got together. I was actually engaged when I met, yes I was actually engaged when I met him. Yes, I was engaged when I met him. And he came with me to give the engagement ring to the guy when I broke the engagement off.

Because the guy asked me for the ring back. He asked me for the ring back, yeah. And then Darcy was like, I'll be here if you need any moral support and stuff. And we were just friends at the time. And then he was like, how are you feeling about it? I was like, yeah, he can have the ring. Only for me to find out about two months later that my ex had taken out a Littlewoods account in my name.

And I was paying for the bloody ring that he asked for. You had to give him back the ring you were paying for. Was the ring from a student? It was from Littlewood It was from Littlewood It's made me like cry We were paying whatever And then in the end I paid £22.14

I'll never forget the amount For the next like 11 months And then I did like a bulk payment or something And then finished off paying it It was like I don't know like Cartier or something and then finished off painting i don't know like cartier or something could have been a little we still laugh about it oh you now could appreciate having someone better because you've known what it's like to have someone who's not that great and stuff oh absolutely

oh seven okay first question right you are a style icon whenever see you on Instagram, you always do all these lovely wheels. You always work with brands. You've got to have had a fashion faux pas, and I want to know what it was. Oh, my gosh, the skirt and the trousers. Remember when I had that in pink? I had that in baby blue. That was that time when everything was baby pink, baby blue. Everything was baby blue.

And I wore that. Yeah. Do you remember they were attached yeah yeah attached yeah no what were they i forgot what they were called anyway so i think it was that um but at the time though you would have looked cool it's just behind it with a poncho like Like, remember when everyone... You were just... You were like, I'm going to go full Cleopatra. I'm going to get my poncho. A poncho is a baby... You're just like a triangle. Yeah, baby pink poncho with baby pink skirt and trousers.

Yeah. I love it. Is there anything that you had back then that you wore that you would still wear today? Well, I'm a big tracksuit person. Like, I could wear one style of clothing for the rest of my life actually would be tracksuits like i live in tracks so i used to have quite i've gone back to the same like sort of bigger tracksuits the cozy ones and um yeah what velour i'd still wear a velour tracksuit did you have a

juicy couture one because that's what my little girl she's desperate she's like i just want to do and all von dutch hats and all that like they're all back i didn't have a von dutch but what else did i is it that uh something the rebox rebox tactics rebox yeah yeah yeah so i think i had a baby pink i was loving baby pink a baby pink velour tracksuit i wore it to my first time that i was allowed to go bowling I think I was about like 14 at the time yeah then my mum and dad were very much like we'll stand we'll wait outside the the bowling alley when you've finished yep straight towards the car don't pass go don't collect 200 pounds yes so yeah I would wear the track suit now yeah yeah so it Paris Hilton isn't it all that kind of uh what was their part was it the simple life with her and Nicole Richard oh I did yeah I didn't know I didn't watch her like she yeah she's not your not your cup of tea you're not a huge Paris Hilton fan no no I'm not okay so we've done um a favorite

fashion item you own then I want to know I think we've kind of touched on your biggest teenage success because I think you really overcame so much like that is amazing but what was one thing that um was a bit of a flop and you're like oh and you regret it I don't say I regretted it but I played tennis to such a high level uh I got to 115 in the UK like in under yeah in under under 16s and um I was touring and stuff and I just feel like I got distracted at the point where I had a sponsorship with um Lily White but I always just wanted my dad to be proud of me and I ended up playing I lost the love for the sport and was more trying to win because I was trying to almost like win him like kind of and I think my biggest thing was not applying that same thing I did at school and thinking

no matter whether he's watching whether he take whether he's proud of me whether he like because it was almost like my dad would move the goalposts like I was like if only I would do this my dad will love me finally I'll do this he'll love me if I get a first class degree he'll love me if I get married he'll love me and then I was thinking, you'll love me. And then I was thinking, when will this ever stop? And yeah, so I think it was, my thing was like not really pushing myself, but I did have a tennis injury, but just like with tennis, I feel like I could have made a go of it.

Even now picking up a tennis racket, I feel this a lot of like, oh, like this could have been picking up the sports. And so anything sports, I think maybe that's why I love a track suit because it was Saturday morning you're catching at the athletic track I was trained so hard I would literally run around do my cardio and then I'd go on to drills and then I'd go on to high jump and then I'd do something else and I'd literally and I guess that was my outlet at that time now you think about why people exercise it

wasn't to lose weight like now I feel like I was addicted to exercise because it was the thing where I physically could control the out yeah and I felt this sort of buzz from it that made me feel good about myself and it wasn't about what you look like it was about what you could achieve and this is why I really want the kids to get into sport and I know people say oh it's not about it but people say you should teach them that it's not about the winning the winning comes after that passion that you can find really wanting to be the best you can not to be better than other people not to prove other people wrong which is the lesson that I learned I was almost doing things to prove someone wrong or to

get someone's like approval I don't know you really appreciate your body on a level of like I can do this yeah and you're going to encourage your kids to do sports then because my girl does hockey she she's never she never did any hockey nothing never picked up a hockey stick and she got on the team and then they took a photo and they put it on the wall in school and stuff she loves hockey she loves athletics she's the only thing that she's struggling a bit with is that if she's not good at it she just doesn't want to do it anymore she's like she's not like gonna like try and learn or because um no it's throwing and javelin and stuff she's not got any arm strength so she's like i'm not doing that anymore well you know you got to try and give everything a good go um but she really loves it

and my little boy loves football i um i do nothing i walk the dog that's my sport everyone has their different outlet and stuff it's like for me i feel like my escape was sport and music and it still is a little bit but I think you you almost still return back to the things that made you feel good as a little child but you've been a different element of it yeah I had um therapy uh I could be last year and the year before I had therapy and this sounds so bonkers but she's like when are you most at peace so on a Saturday morning I just clean the house and I put my headphones on and I block everything out and I'm just like pooting around just cleaning the house and I'm just like at peace and she's like okay so where does this stem from and when I was a little girl when I was a teenager

I used to put the top 40 on you know on a Sunday you listen to the top 40 and I put the top 40 on and I listen to the music and I just clean all the little knickknacks in my bedroom and she's like you're going back to that little peaceful space yeah so that's why you kind of like I'm like transported to like an innocent where there's no worries or you got you know all I was worrying about was cleaning my little cat figurine and like I'm recreating that in my house it's crazy isn't it so I think that's our safe place isn't it you go back to the place where there was no worries and stuff like no stress this podcast has felt like therapy for me to be honest that's what it's felt like we've gone from crushes to talking about Brian McFadden to singing I keep thinking about your little woods ring oh stop do you know what we're at the next fancy event I'm gonna be like she got as she

she was conned by a man with a little words account but you know what the worst thing is now what we're very little words i didn't i was sat at a meal um two weeks ago yeah um it was in london and i was talking about it and then someone said about being engaged before and i was like i actually had and stuff and then i was laughing i was like can you believe you got it from your words and I was like that's very now and you were like yeah it was a great ring I loved it I was really happy to pay all that money and I do it again I do it again okay so this is how I kind of end the podcast I want to know your feelings on social media and do you think it was better growing up then would you prefer to grow up now what do you reckon I think it was 100% better growing up then yeah I actually not worried but

like there's just so much pressure for children nowadays and I saw a meme recently and it was just like shout out to those of us that grew up in the in the era or in the age where you could make a mistake, you could do silly things and you'd know that it wasn't being recorded and it wasn't going to be posted on social media kind of thing. Can you imagine being bullied and beaten up and muscling put in your face? That would have been filmed. That would have been filmed.

Yeah, it would have been filmed. And I'm like, wow, I got to not have to relive that over and over and over again whereas nowadays the children probably wouldn't have that yeah they won't be afforded that luxury of leaving it in the past it will continue to haunt them from like a social media point of view growing up now as a parent to children who we do social media full-time it's actually been one of my biggest sort of duty of care areas to make sure that like the children know what we're doing they know that we take a break from it they know that we don't do it for the numbers they know the impact not like on other people and the fact that it's not a validation tool and we use those big words

you'd be surprised how much children can actually take in when you tell them what it means yeah and obviously you might have seen Maya's Monday motivation she's so passionate about that stuff like the fact that that she can think of social media as a form of storytelling and being able to like she obviously I will look over the comments first but then she will look at the comments and be like and that's her little encouragement she's like oh i can't believe that person said feeling down and then they watch my video and now they feel happy again and stuff like that so but the break part of social media is one of the most important things we're teaching the children you'll probably know every so often we'll take a week off you do it yeah I do I am I take every Sunday off yeah I have

every Sunday off and I take a book in four weeks a year I'm just like because it used to be in the old days you'd have a week off if you were really stressed and it was really dramatic and I'm taking a week and you'd flounce off but now it's like oh you know what guys next week I'm going on holiday I'm just gonna have a week off and it's nice and it's nothing negative it's just like take a little bit of space i think i struggle a lot with the comparison as well not not necessarily like trolls and stuff it's looking what everyone's doing and where they're going and you just need a bit of space don't you and yeah i wish i i don't actually have that much time to scroll but now i dedicate like a 30 minute scrolling time.

So intentional. And when you've got 30 minutes, I'm not like dead doom scrolling or whatnot. Because I think most of the time, like you do as well, I spend most of my time making sure I've caught up with the DMs. Now that it's become,

basically your social media has become your actual business and everything. Really just your social life anymore. It's actually now your business life. And so it's almost like you've got to it's like I can't not reply back to dns it's like leaving your emails unanswered kind of thing so then yeah I've said before like my my followers in a nice way they're like my boss yeah and you know I work for them and I provide nice stuff to make them happy and I like chatting with them and I like engaging with them. And thankfully now Instagram has got loads of tools to like block certain words and do certain things.

You can go into your DMs and have like a nice little chat with people. I love it. The amount of women that have been sending me their first piece when they found out that they're pregnant. Oh. Oh, we followed, I felt that it would be trying for years and we followed you for ages and you

we've watched dream being born we've watched this person being born and we've just found out we're having a baby um i'll be checking all your highlights and stuff and that that probably happens so often that and it makes me cry and that and i think that's how i know i'm done because i'm not broody anymore no much like welcome to the mad thing that you're like, this is going to be the craziest ride. I'm so happy for you. And I think because I really pride myself in sharing days where, oh, I can't stand breastfeeding, days where I love breastfeeding.

But I've been nonstop breastfeeding for six years. Wow. Yeah, all of mine are 2017 they're 2017 no 2015 2017 2019 21 so literally as i'm about to have the next one i'm weaning one off breast milk and then and recently i said to darcy i was like i just hate this what the fuck is this and then i had a bit but i needed to get that out I needed but then other times I'm like oh I love this I'm the only one who can really like settle her down and all that stuff so I think I allow myself to go on different go through my emotions even recently when I shared a picture

of me and my sister we hadn't spoken like for three years and yeah after the fallout of my mum and we and I said and I said I could share this picture saying meet my sister I was like but it's so important for me to put the context up here that we're both on a healing journey when it comes to our relationship that every family has issues and my dms blew up that people haven't spoken to their brothers for 10 years I wasn't telling them to go and speak to it but i was just letting them know that i could paint the perfect picture but my life isn't perfect yeah people have got like dads and mums that they've had to protect their peace from and people have got like aunties and uncles that have really kind of like almost damaged their family and that they've been forced to kind of like, you do what you have to do to survive. And if that means like stepping away

from toxic people or toxic culture, I think that's one of the key messaging that whilst you see us dancing on social media, whilst you see us cooking together, we also will deal with like tantrums and times where I'll turn up at nursery and Dream will look at me and be like, I don't want you to pick me up.

I want Daddy to pick me up. Oh, yeah, we've been there. Where I'm rushed back from a meeting in London and I'm trying to get on the train and everything. And then he's like, I'll get there. He says, I don't want you to pick me up. I'm standing here in front of you as your mother. But, you know, we go through all that stuff.

And I think social media you choose what you do with it like you can either make it look easy and then wonder why you're having a mental breakdown because you haven't been all of yourself and just said look you know what guys it's getting a little bit too much that living and speaking your truth is where a lot of us are probably gonna find the most freeing thing because someone else someone the world is such a lot of us are probably going to find the most freeing thing because someone else someone the world is such a big place you're not the only person going through with it you're not and i think a lot of a lot of people sit in their own feelings and don't tell their friends or don't tell their family and then they see somebody they can relate to on social media who they don't mind

direct messaging because they don't know it and they're like oh my gosh i feel like you know because i'm going through the perimenopause. I've had a lot of people reach out. Oh, you know, I'm going to go to the doctors now. I thought I was going mad because, you know, people don't really talk about all the crazy symptoms. So, yeah, social media is worrying, but also there are a lot of positives, I think. Yeah. It is the funny old world. When you've got the power, it's what you choose to do with it.

It's what the user is choosing to do with it. It's how you choose to consume that social detox. It's so needed. And I realised recently, I was just in a loop, a cycle. I power up, I burn out. Every two weeks, I power up, I burn out. I power up, I burn out. And that's because I was working right up until the moment I fall asleep.

There is no HR. there is no office hours so you have to be the one to control when you come off this so my whole thing is now I make a conscious effort to watch a little bit of trash tv oh yeah I have to squeeze 30 minutes of absolute whatever it is I'm watching is it cake at the moment on netflix i love yeah yeah yeah is it a handbag or is it yeah yeah i love that um that's gonna finish soon and then there's a new take on fresh prince of bel-air they've got a new series out for bel-air but i just need to do that because i never get it how our husbands can watch football or watch something that they love and i'm like i'm worrying about what we're gonna eat the shopping like how do you have space to do something what's the word extracurricular but we just need to take that control back and say i love real housewives that's what you need to get on is it good is it good it will change

your life oh i want housewives on my no real housewives all day every day day. Because it's the only show on television where you get women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s living the best life. They're rowing, they're having jobs, they're having affairs. Sometimes they're going to jail. But it's just women, older women on the television, and you don't get that in any programmes, any films. So I just love it. Are they not acting up for us?

No, I'd say most of them are just absolutely bonkers. Really? I thought it was scripted. Unless they're scripting themselves into jail. These are crazy. Anyway, thanks so much for coming on. I loved your, I loved you singing Natasha Bedenfield, but whenever I see you now, I will think of Little Woods. And I don't know if that's.

When I see your comment on my own thing, Little Woods, I'll be like, oh, she's just going to leave like little ring emojis. Just on every post. People are like, what's she talking about?

Right. Thanks so much for coming on the podcast. And I will see you online very, very soon. Thank you so much. Thanks, Emma. Told you she was great. She's absolutely brilliant. Be sure to follow her on social media.

She just wears such great clothes, guys. She's got her act together with four kids as well. Well, I'm not going to lie. I'm recording this. I've got no bra on and I'm in a I think decade old Primark beach dress um because it's so as I mentioned before 50 times it's hot oh I wouldn't be doing that she'd be looking super stylish I'd be sure to go and check her out thanks so much for listening again don't forget to tag me in where you've been listening

or what you think or any ideas do check out the phone box podcast instagram account we are doing polls there all the time we've done 90s boy bands noughties boy bands we're doing like a boy band girl band finale at some point soon so that's going to be brilliant imagine it being like the smash it's poll winners party except it's in your phone and none of these bands actually know that they are partaking in it imagine it like that also don't forget to leave a review that would be amazing give me five stars and i often pop if it's on spotify you listen on spotify i often pop a little um poll so go and do that as well and go back and enter all the other polls love to see what you're thinking i love you lots and i will see you next week for another amazing episode have a gorgeous

day and yeah it's hot