The Phonebox Podcast With Emma Conway - Sophiena: Getting Expelled From School!

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Who got expelled from secondary school in Year 7, can't really remember her first kiss but loved an inflatable bag? Top podcaster and TikTok creator Sophiena that's who! She joins The Phonebox Podcast to chat all about her fashion faux pas, underage nights out and how a hairstyle resulted in her having to move schools. Follow Sophiena on instagram here, on TikTok here and be sure to check out The Secret Mums Club podcast here.For more of me follow @brummymummyof2 on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok and follow the all new @phoneboxpodcast account on InstagramIf you have any guest suggestions, topics you would like me to cover or send in a Christmas story voice note to be featured, email [e-mail] and be sure to tag so I can see where you are listening!Editing by Soundtruism. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Phone Box Podcast with me Emma Conway. How the flipping heck are you? Did you have a marvellous Halloween? Did you dress up as a bin bag witch? Did you have a plastic mask that slit your face? Or on bonfire night, did you get a little can and drop it on your kid's head so their thought of firework was burning in there like my dad did? As we chatted about in last week's episode, I did all of those things. I did all of those things. I was terrified of a sparkler and I refused to go near one. And I looked out from the window and shouted things like be careful drop it on the floor and don't pick it up that's all the things I did this week we have a wonderful

episode with the top chart podcaster Sophina who has a brilliant podcast called the secret mum's club is out twice a week she's also a tiktok sensation and she just very recently did a wonderful gender reveal i shan't reveal the gender but you can go and check that out on social media as well so enjoy us chatting all about how she sounded like a marvelous human in secondary school and how like her mom always had her back and how social media can be a little bit scary see you at the end for another chat so fiona welcome to the phone box podcast thank you so much for having me it's lovely to see i love it i love a nice um leather jacket

i don't know is it a little bit chilly though i'm not gonna i'm not gonna tell you i've got a shacket on today i went for a t-shirt and a jacket and then i got to london i thought my nipples were gonna fall off it is freezing here slightly nippy a bit nippy around the old nip nips i was in london this weekend um i went to see madonna so i've got my madonna t-shirt on that oh she was so good was she she was everything she put like a bit of vaseline on the lens of the cameras so on the big screens oh it was like looking at 30 year old madonna it was oh gosh it was everything he wanted and more. She didn't sing Material Girl, though. That was my only complaint.

So, Madonna, if you're listening. Because she will be. Obviously, of course she's listening. Hello. So, what year were you when you were 14? 2002. 2002. It's a cracking year.

So, you survived the Millennium Bug. Yes. You managed to get to 2002. I think I survived. I'm not get to 2002 I think I survived I'm not too sure um what was your bedroom like because I think that is the real telltale of somebody I'm gonna be the boring one aren't I my mum was I was not allowed posters we've had people who weren't allowed posters it's fine I was not allowed posters I wasn't allowed to be girl groupie I wasn't allowed to be a fan of a of a boy band or have a crush my mum was very don't live in these fantasies you

got to live in the real world and bless her you know it's paid off now you know I'm very realistic I'm very streetwise now you know but my bedroom when I was gosh, I was a year off of leaving secondary school. I just think I had like a very basic prison looking room, really. Lovely, sounds nice. Sounds really lovely. I was, you know, teenage, just trying to keep up. Were you in prison? Are you trying to tell us?

You and a young offenders. Institute. Yeah, basically a white white bedroom but it was nice it was like white and lilacs and i had a nice like i had like i remember like a day bed i had like an iron oh lovely iron day bed maybe it was an institute like i'm not was there um some bars on the windows no no okay so i even had doors onto not an institute not an institute if you were allowed a poster who would it have been try and relive through and through i was a massive fan of so solid crew and i was a massive fan of blazing squad now we've never had a so

solid crew but i have had a Blazing Squad ever before. Blazing Squad, yeah. What would a Blazing Squad fan be called? Squatter? I don't know. I don't know. Who did you fancy in it? Was it Kenzie?

Yeah, I feel like everybody just went with Kenzie, though, didn't they? Yeah, I couldn't name one other person in Blazing Squad. To be fair, I was just thinking, who else were they called? Was there a Mickeykey in there i don't know mickey kevin tom and kenzie and so rick allen so solid crew was um who was the handsome who was that oh romeo yeah it was a rap it was like romeo i feel like there was a rap yeah he but he brought out his own songs didn't he he went solo went away from the crew didn't he god bless him so you would have had posters of romeo up and yeah yeah romeo probably so solid crew i was a bit of a bit of a

like a light garage i was a bit of a garage head yeah shocked to some but i was yeah i liked a bit of dirty garage a dirty garage in your in your plain white bedroom and did you have an inflatable chair because that there's yeah there we go i always always because i grew up in the 90s but the noughties guests always had inflatable chairs or bags yeah yeah the inflatable bag that every fucker popped at school all the boys just popped all the girls bags stop stop popping me bag all the millennium babies used to carry a couple of those jelly things around stick it to the top of the toilets at school you remember those little babies past the whole thing passed me by i did not i've never even seen in photo bag the logistics don't work in my head could everybody just see the stuff you were carrying no so basically the bag worked

by the fact that the outside was inflatable okay but the inside wasn't so you basically had like an inside section and then that bit was like a color and then the bubble was the outside which was clear you have clarified something that has been puzzling me for many months i just thought it was like a giant inflatable but that makes sense it was popped your stuff would still stay in the bag yeah and you could still use your bag but you you just looked like a used condom you know we just were these bags at school for a for a time yeah and then they banned them because why because the popping because people was crying over their popped bags or you'd be trading bags you know

when you're trading the trade the best all the boys used them as a football because they were like inflatables and you just used to kick them down the corridor so they got like they got banned i just because you're the agent because they're kind of inflatable bags because i used to be a teacher and i could just imagine a year seven kid just come in just hold it you know it yeah you know it it's just gone okay so what kind of school you go did you go to and where were you in the hierarchy so i went to just a normal secondary school mixed well I actually went to a um an all-girls school to start with yeah I went to an all-girls school it's crazy isn't it yeah yeah so I went there for just year seven I was only there I think about eight weeks though

because I got expelled I got expelled why because I had I had I went on holiday you know when you go on holiday and they braid your hair yeah I had So I had like, I had cornrow in my hair with like the beads on the end. So I went back to school and the head teacher, remember her name? Mrs. Trigger was her name. Mrs. Trigger? Mrs. Trigger, yeah. And that's a bit of a, like a funny name to... She generally, the only way to describe it is she did look like Trenchy.

I was thinking Trenchport's straight back hair. Yeah, straight scrape back really tight hair and she saw your corner and she was like she said you need to remove this yeah so in my rebellious 11 12 year old self i was like absolutely not my mom and dad had just paid for me to have this on holiday i refused to take it out and she went you're not leaving my office until you take it out i said well you best get me my lunch because i'm sat here all day i was a little bit of a back chatter you know my mom got called into the office um if you fuck with me you're you're fucking with the wrong one because my mum oh she she's nice but she is cray cray

he sounds amazing she she was the best growing up honestly but she was not happy so she was like no absolutely not I will take my daughter out of school until you change your policy. So then my mum took me out of school. I then got called back into school and was like, Safina's been off for two weeks. She needs to come back. So they put me into isolation. Did you still have your cornrows in?

Yeah, my mum refused to take them out. They were frizzy as fuck. They were just hanging on by the end. And then, yeah, put me into isolation, accompanied me to the toilet. So my mum said, no, enough's enough. She's not taking them out. They expelled me.

So my mum signed me up to school with my twin brother and my older sister. So I went and joined them in year eight. She sounds amazing. So then I joined a school, which was a mixed school, boys and girls, which was my mum and dad's biggest fear because i was a bit of a tomboy i was the one i'm the baby of the family i've got my twin brother and my older sister but i was the one that defended everybody you know you fuck with them you fuck with me a bit feisty yeah yeah i was definitely i was the third child was the angry one i wanted to be seen i didn't want to be left as a blender in the back like get me noticed um and that was the reason they didn't

want me going to school with them because I was a little bit tomboyish but angry started fight with boys mainly just boys um so yeah any boy any boy any boy that wanted to mess with my sister or my brother I take them on so you rocked up yeah where did you fit in where did you fit in I just fitted in I was just I just I'm just a bit loud I'll talk to anybody I'm not fussed but I don't want to say I was one of the populars I hung around with the popular girls but I was just everyone's fat funny friend oh yeah but I quite like that I was quite I was quite happy being everyone's fat so I did get mocked a little bit by the popular girls. I was sort of the butt of the joke. But I was happy being the butt of the joke.

But I just spoke to anybody. Mainly, I just patrolled the corridors of the school by myself. Constantly had a urine infection. Constantly always on my period. And just never really... School wasn't my jam, you know? Oh, was it? Constantly on your period. That is me. Every swimming lesson. Every know I was constantly on your period that is me every

swimming lesson any every week I'm on my period miss yeah when you're on your period last week yeah it's a really heavy one it's just going on it's like it's been on for four years you've had a period for four years I ain't going swimming I'm not going swimming sod off okay oh you sound great you sound like you as well real fun I fun. I was the pain in the arse. I was the pain in the arse at home and the pain in the arse at school. Did you chat back to the teachers? Were you always trying to make the class laugh? Yeah.

Yeah. I was always trying to make everyone laugh. I just wanted to be the class clown. Yeah. I pretty much was the class clown. I walked away with no education. Okay. Street smart, though.

Street smart. Exactly. My sister and my brother they held the fort for that and my mom and dad had an easy ride with them they had it too bloody easy i thought you two have got this easy with them too a star students i had to give them a bit of you know a bit of something something did you go to college no no what did you do so you went to school and then what did you go straight into um I left school and became an electrician. Did you do an apprenticeship?

I didn't. I did an on-site. So I did an apprenticeship actually in a travel agent, but that didn't last very long. I hated that. So my dad was like, you need to go and do something. So the best thing you can do with no education is you go and be a trade. So I went on site with my dad. My brother was training as well to be an electrician, but he was doing it at college, back and forth. And, yeah, I did all my on-site training and I became an electrician. That's great. Yeah. That sounds great.

When I was, as I said, when I was a teacher, I always was pushing kids to do apprenticeships like builders or electricians because you're always going to need them yeah always and so you hand around the house now yeah I do I try I try not to you know because my other half's an electrician as well so you have electricians off well when I say that there's a lot of electricians around me if anybody lives with an electrician or there's probably an electrician listening they don't actually like to do work in their own house okay so you're you're both like, I ain't doing that. Well, I would happily do it, but I don't want to emasculate him.

So I'm just like, oh, I'll keep waiting for you to do that. Double socket. Yeah, that's great. Absolutely love it. Okay, so you were into So Solid Crew and you were into your Dirty Gout. Did you go to clubs? Did you go clubbing before the age you probably should have gone clubbing i will let you answer do you think i was the type to be clubbing

underage i am gonna say yes i went 14 that's what we used to yeah mine was 40 the problem was is that i had an older sister who was a very very good my sister wasn't a drinker she wasn't a party goer she was very stick by the book very the perfect the perfect child to my parents so I took her ID not realizing that my dad had lots of friends who worked the doors of many clubs in in Southampton who basically just laughed in my face and went you're not Roxanne, you're Safina and you need to go home. And then it was just basically a tannoy

and my dad was ringing me and they were calling all the bouncers of the door saying, don't let me in. But yeah, there were some I got in. Some I got in, but yeah, 14. We used to just make fake ones. That's what we used to do. Can't get away with that now though.

Oh God, no, you couldn't get away with that. But when I was 14, I looked like I was 14. But now 14-year-olds could look 23. I would be confused. On TikTok, I'm like, are you a child or are you a fully grown woman? I can't tell. It's a scary world, isn't it? I have a 14-year-old niece and it is bloody scary.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My daughter's just about to turn 13. Wow. And it is hurtling towards the teen years is absolutely terrifying. Who is your first crush? Was it Kenzie? To be honest with you, I didn't really like boys. Oh, okay.

I did go for a phase of thinking I was a lesbian. Oh, right. Okay. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do.

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And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. switch today conditions apply details at fizz.ca okay so did you have like a girl crush um i don't think i crushed on anybody to be honest with you i just how weird thinking about it now you seem to be having like a you seem to be having a bit of a crisis i was then i was thinking was i did i like anybody i don't think i did so you just weren't a crush no no i wasn't really a crush girl but who did you have your first snog with and how old are you and what was it like oh my first snog was with a boy okay i thought it was going to be a girl in all honesty but it wasn't it was a boy I was 18 okay oh my god I feel like such a kinder spirit because everybody comes on and they're like

I was 12 I was 13 and I'm like I was 18 I was 18 yeah I was 18 and I was in town I was just in town and it was just a random boy and it was kind of like just get it over and done with just tick it off yeah it's done yeah it is done so was it all right was it sloppy was it gross from what I recall it was just okay yeah yeah it was just okay you're winning because a lot of them have been I was sick and then I kissed somebody or I ate a burger and then they snogged me. No. I think just okay is a good story. Yeah, just okay.

Just normal. Yeah, I don't remember his face. Just a faceless man. I assume it was a man. And I assume it was a human. Just a faceless person. Yeah. You were a human.

I'm assuming it was a human. They were taller than me. If you remember, please message in let us know if it was a yeti or something just was fine somebody somewhere i snogged them yes i snogged someone somewhere at 18 okay i want to hear about your worst fashion faux pas oh okay this one's a good one because this one haunts me this one terribly terribly haunts me do you remember those stretchy trousers did they have that did you have them at school the stretchy ones that you could get like really cheap at like shops like jr

fashions ours was jr fashions mine was go bananas that's how they were insanely stretchy weren't they those black skinny trousers that frayed in the ass because all the elastic came out you look like you had white pubes in your bum and you just used to spend and no one batted an eyelid at school but you used to just pick them you used to spend your day just rolling the elastic in your bum to balls and picking them now i'll be honest i can't relate to that i feel like there's gonna be someone If anybody out there used to roll the white pube looking things. Elastics in your bum. In snowboards.

Yep. And flick them at school. Please do. Picking them. And you just used to get the girls used to pick them. But then it went on. It led on to that because JR Fashion then bought out the same type of trousers, but coloured with, I want to say Chinese writing.

Okay. On them. So they was these really skinny, super skinny, super high waisted. Like they look like my mum and dad used to say chinese writing okay on them so they was these really skinny super skinny super high-waisted like they look like my mum and dad used to say have you spray pant spray painted your trousers on because they are tight they left nothing left nothing to the imagination my vagina was so hungry she was eating it up just what was the what if you if it if it really was chinese writing what do you think it was saying in the chinese writing probably you're a loser these pants are too tight you should have gone a size bigger stop picking your bum so it was the elastic trouser era for me

elastic i've not heard the elastic trouser i'm gonna have to send you a picture of them now i really want a picture of the elastic trousers. Do you know what I could get you? I might be able to get you a picture of me in the trousers. Oh my God, please. I wore them every weekend. Did you ever wash them or did you just pop them back on? Oh, that's nice.

I used to wash them, but I never let them dry because I wanted to wear them so quickly. So you should just wear them damp. They were so hard to get on. Oh, I bet you smelt like an absolute... Like a damp cloth. I bet you smelt like an absolute flipping treat. Smelt like a damp cloth, like an overloaded sausage with a camel toe. Delightful, honestly.

And you didn't have your first kiss till you were 18. You didn't surprise me. I really questioned why i couldn't understand why okay so i'm did you have any fashion successes that you'd wear today don't say chinese tight i've still got the trousers i'll be in them tomorrow um did i have any fashion no no i've never had any good, good fashion. I don't think. No. Okay. Even now. No, you look, I've already commented on your Danny Zuko jacket. You look gorgeous. Okay. What do you think was your biggest teenage success?

Probably just sticking to being myself. Yeah. I'm so proud proud I just stuck to my own mind I didn't conform to what everybody else was doing I didn't conform to although the trousers you know me and my friends we all had them in different colors but no I think just sticking to who I wanted to be and listening to my own mind because there was a lot of influence of you should be this type of person and you should wear this and you shouldn't eat this and you should be this size i did what i wanted and i didn't give a fuck to the world and i'm so proud of being that person yeah yeah is that something you're going to instill in your own kids one million percent own it just be you because there's there's it doesn't matter what you do in life there is always going to be somebody that judges you you will never ever

please everybody. So why not just fucking live your life every day? Cause we only get one shot at this. Yeah. And that's how I bring up the children. You do you. And if somebody doesn't like it, screw them.

Because as long as you're happy and you're not hurting anybody, who gives a shit? Yeah. Oh, I love it. If you, if you could go back and tell your, your former, you know,

your younger self, would you just be like, keep doing what you're doing? I'm proud of my, I'm'm proud if i could go back now and speak to my former teenage self 13 14 15 and just say you were you were right you were right to stick to who you are and be who you wanted to be and regardless of what everybody else was doing you should be proud of yourself because i absolutely love it yeah I'm not there's nothing I don't ever look back and regret anything no no because I truly it's all like a journey in it yeah

I truly believe that wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't stick to that are you glad that you grew up then with no social media because obviously both of our jobs a lot on social media or um do you wish you were growing up now in the era of social media no i wish there was no social media we wouldn't have jobs i'll be a teacher and you'd be an electrician yeah that's what we'd be doing i know you wouldn't have liked to have grown up in this era why social media is too scary i've seen that i've seen the best of it and i've seen the worst of it and when i say the worst i've seen the most disgusting side of social media and it's just not something i i would i would have wanted to put my brain through mentally i've now got nieces and nephew

that are older my oldest niece is 14 my nephew's 12 i've got a niece who's 10 um and it's just too much pressure it's too much pressure to be look a certain way be a certain way but have a certain type of personality to fit into a type of category fuck that everybody should just be who they want to be and we should all just be accepted for that and i feel like that was a lot easier when we were growing up yeah you had your chavs and you had your emus emus evuse emus your emos oh emos see they weren't we used to they were goths when we were at school and they were goths when we were at school but somebody will now go no there's a different but in my head and you don't ever want to say anything wrong or be derogatory everybody had their own

style but you accepted them for that you know nobody yeah you'd get the horrible you get the comments of horrible things or you know know, I was bullied at school. I feel like everybody goes through a stage of being bullied. But there was a type of thing where it was like a bit of banter. But you were still accepted for who you wanted to be. Yeah, you got bullied and some got bullied worse than others, but it was more accepting back then. But now it's just not. Like, if you don't conform to being the social media girl how are you going to make it on

social media you know it does it does worry me the constant comparison because I mean I'm a grown adult and I still compare myself to people on social media it's just it is really really difficult there are some positives like you can find like your tribe and you can find people a bit more like you easily if you are a bit of a loner but I do worry what are you what do you think about your kids when they go on social media are you gonna set some strict rules or I feel very lucky in the sense where I have done social media we're coming into three years in January that I've been doing social media my son is seven and my daughter's five um he hates social media yeah and he just like i don't i don't like it because it's made

you upset and he's been on a little bit of a journey with me but we're a very honest family we talk very openly and honest i don't hold anything back i talked to my son about we were just talking about this on the podcast this week that we we i talked to him openly like i talked to him about periods like i talked to him about how if he sees a girl who's bled through her trousers how he knows to deal with that situation to make her feel comfortable and i talk to him about how if he sees a girl who's bled through her trousers how he knows to deal with that situation to make her feel comfortable and i'm bringing him up to be the best man so he understands if there's a girl that's had a period or started a period and we talk openly about you know the things that are important like there'll be a stage where we'll talk

about sex because i don't ever want my children to feel that they don't have that comfort to be able to talk to me about that. So I am very honest with them. I talk to them about social media and I do say to him, you know, mum can't put you on here because you've got no top on and social media is scary. And Colby's very conscious. He'll just say, oh, no, can't do that because mum's on her phone. Or no, I can't go into that room because I don't want to walk into the back of mum's camera. So I just feel like I'm doing the best thing because I'm making them very aware like Colby now if you say to Colby what's social media like are you allowed

social media he said no social media scary I'm not allowed oh yeah it is I'd rather that I'd rather him be like that so the day he does go on it he keeps his wits about him you know yeah we've we've had a lot of chats here because when you get I had an email the other day and it just was like from Microsoft, because obviously my children have got all the things like security. And Microsoft was like, your daughter's turning 13. She'll be an adult then. All of the restrictions will be turned off.

And I was like, oh, I think the fuck not. It's like Googling find new. I was like, 13? It literally said, she is an adult. I was like, she's 17? That is not an adult. And I said to her, I was like 13 no he literally said she is an adult i was like she's 17 that is not an adult and i said to her i was like i've had this email i was like but there's gonna be i'm gonna find something else yeah there'll be other there'll be other things put in place it is it is a very very very scary place i do feel like it's a very big divide though between

boys and girls like i feel like colby's not interested in social media a bit like my nephew he's not asked but the girls i know that my daughter's she's gonna be like yeah i want to get on there and do all these dances and it's the dances there's we have a lot of like like yeah she'll come and go do you want to see a dance and i'll be like yeah go on then she'll be like and i'll be like oh and then she go can you do this and i'll be like no i can't i can't really do that but you're very very have you seen this trend no I'm not having I'll put my hip out if I do that one geez I'm like no I haven't seen that but you know good good on you so yeah no she's not becoming an adult when she's 13 no so that I'm just putting that out into the world that's when she's 25 I don't even I don't know even if I feel like an adult at 35. Am I an adult? No, still need me mum and dad.

I want my mum to have restrictions on my social media. So she can just go, get off now. I can't have me mum on my social media crumbs. My dad was like, I'd end up in jail. If I was replying to some of them comments, he's like, oh, I'd be, I'd be like, okay, dad's probably better. I said to my mum, you're going to get me in trouble. You'll get me cancelled. I'll have nothing left.

I banned him from replying to any mean comments. He's like, dad, absolutely not. Thank you very much. Well, Sophia, it's been lovely to have you on the podcast. Thank you. Thanks so much. And everybody make sure you go and listen to Sophia's podcast. So it's Secret Mum Club.

Yes. Is it on a Monday it comes out? Yes, we have a Monday and a Friday episode. So we've got the main episode on a Monday and then the little ones are like a little top up on a Friday oh lovely well I will see you very soon and thanks so much thank you appreciate you thank you it was brilliant to chat to Sophina and of course be sure to check out her podcast I think you will like it a lot it's a good old giggle right talking of giggles I am still waiting for you to send in some voice notes with your Christmas stories your Christmas traditions anything that you know fills you with a nostalgic Christmas joy from the 80s and the 90s please I will leave in the description how you do that

it's really easy you can just voice note and email in or even like voice note me on social media I'm on BrummieMummieof2 I'm also on on the Phone Box podcast. So you can voice note me there and I'll screen record it. I'll do something technical. I don't know. I'll try and work it out or I'll ask somebody to help me to do it. It'll be fine. We'll get it sorted. And also I am going to be hosting in December a virtual Zoom quiz, which is going to have a boy bands rounding. So definitely wait to check that out on social media it's a charity quiz for the children's hospital i've done it i don't know four five times and it's always so much fun so keep your eyes peeled for that i think the tickets will be out towards the end of this week and it will just be like a proper proper laugh it's one ticket

per household all your kids can join in so i'll i'll mention it next week if the tickets go on sale please voice note me i would love to hear you i'd also love it when you tag me in and what you're doing in you know how are you listening are you tying your pants oh my gosh oh my gosh tag me in if you're putting up your christmas tree tag me in if you're putting up your christmas tree and you're listening to the podcast i think i will explode that is perfection right i love you lots and I will see you next week for another fantastic podcast.

Have a wonderful week. Take care. Bye, guys. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.

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