The Prepper Broadcasting Network - Giovanna Silvestre: Calm Within Chaos

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

Giovanna's Book https://amzn.to/3QpWQFtIn Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos, Giovanna shares her transformative journey from an ego-driven, early Hollywood career to true self-acceptance and inner peace. Through raw and honest storytelling, she opens up about her struggles with identity and purpose, including a challenging period of depression that ultimately led to her awakening.

You're listening to... ...the baby and... ...your path back to stability. Welcome in PBN family. We have an amazing guest tonight. We're going to have a great time. We're going to have a very interesting talk. And I want to thank Giovanna for joining us tonight. Thanks so much for coming on.

I guess I'll explain the timing story real quick because I think it's important. We were looking for people, I mean, not unlike yourself, literally a week before you sent me an email and said, hey, you had the common chaos kind of thing in your verbiage. Actually, I think you might've said the common chaos. Exactly. And I said, you know, this is like kind of crazy that you showed up at this time. So we were just starting to broaden our horizons

with people we wanted to bring on, guests and all that kind of stuff. So I wound up with the confused girl in the city on our show tonight. Thanks for coming on. Yeah. Yeah. You know, what I really love about the confused girl

in the city title is the, I don't want to say bravery because that word sucks and has been ruined, right, a little bit. But it is that. I really love it, particularly in our prepping world, Jovana, like there's people that are like, you know, I got all these things and I know all these things and I could do all these things if things go really bad. But what I really love is when people are like,

I tried a thing and it failed immensely. And I always feel like the audience loves that stuff. So, and people are so unwilling to admit that, like people like, like confused girl in the city is one of those things that you would not hear a lot of people admit to you know that even that word confused in general like how did that how did you how did you sit down and write the book did you write the book and you get the title first well i got that i got the title first the book came quite a bit later and think by the way, thank you so much for saying that,

everything you said about Confused Girl, because that was completely the intention behind it, was to be authentic and real about how I was feeling, which I was confused. And I think- As we all are. As we all are. No one admits it, right?

No one will admit it. Yeah. I got it wrapped up. I'm it, right? No one will admit it. Yeah. I got it wrapped up. I'm good. Yeah. Nobody wants to admit it. It's like, we want to, nobody comes out of the womb with a manual on your life.

You said it. I mean, I wish I came out of my mother with a manual on how to do to life. That would be a great, avoid these people. Do not enter into this business venture. Oh my god. Red flashing lights. That would be really great, you know, but none of us have that.

So we literally I kind of look at life now is one big experiment and adventure. And for me, it's kind of like I got to know who I was, and then I was able to find my purpose. And then now I've really been able to enjoy the ride instead of feel bad about the setbacks and feel bad about myself and feel like I'm not doing enough or I'm not good enough. It's like I've been able to move past those feelings now. And that's that's where that's where the name came from.

I fell into I worked in Hollywood for quite a few years and I got pretty high up. And I decided I didn't want to do that anymore because people were crazy. And people were crazy and then I thought my parents had an Italian restaurant three hours north of Los Angeles in California, a really successful Italian restaurants. I thought, okay, I'll go take that over. And I was there for almost two years and I was miserable. The restaurant business was not for me. What did you do? That's my background.

Were you serving or working in the back of the house? Like, I mean, owning a restaurant, you do everything. So I, they needed help on the bar. I was bartending. I was seating. The only thing you do was cook. I was never like. I was seating. The only thing you could do was cook. I was never in the kitchen. But even if they needed dishes washed, if the dishwasher

would blow up, you had to do that. You do it all. You do it all. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Definitely. But restaurant work's a good place to learn about yourself. You definitely learn,, you know,

I like these kinds of people, not so much these kind of people, you know, I want to tolerate this, won't tolerate that because people are rough in the restaurant business and hospitality in general. Yeah, you know, totally, totally rough. And you also have to know how to navigate certain personalities.

It's so interesting. My mom and I actually started believing in the phases of the moon because of working in the restaurant. Oh, I could definitely see that for sure. Oh, yeah. Patronage coming in and how they're behaving. Yes.

Regulars. I'm sure you had a ton of regulars. Oh, yeah. We got a ton of regulars. Actually, a really fun regular was, did you see the Godfather 2? Oh yeah. Okay, you know the Senator that didn't like Italians,

the Senator? Sure. Yeah, so he actually would come into our restaurant every week with his wife. I mean, he was a very old man. Oh, same guy, the actual guy? Yeah, the actual guy. Oh. That part, as the Senator in Godfather 2 too and he would always tell me I was in high school at this time when he

Because when I was in college, he actually passed away but I was in high school and I would I would serve him in the restaurant and he'd always tell me oh, we just got back from the Coppola's winery and Napa and and Napa and I was like, I love these stories so much. So was it an act or did he really hate Italians? No, he actually loved Italians. So, I mean, he came into our restaurant every week. If we were an Italian family, so you had to love us to come and eat in our place.

Well, I don't know. Some people come in, I feel like some people have come into restaurants that I've worked at just to terrorize people, honestly. So some questions are rough. No, it's true. It's true. But I would say you get more good than you get bad.

Oh, definitely. You just remember that. And then the bad ones are the ones that are most likely going to write the reviews. Because if someone has a good experience, they're not going to write. That's actually really difficult about the whole. That's when I realized that the whole reviewing thing is just

such a scam. And now restaurants pay companies to do fake reviews about them, good reviews, to combat. Is this happening? This is a real thing? Oh, yeah. Wow. Well, yeah.

Restaurants pay services to write reviews for them. But I mean, also, I think, you know, restaurants now will say, Hey, if you will give you free dessert if you if you write us a good review. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, I think they do that stuff. But yeah, they still like hire out, you know, that was me. You kind of had your own little PR firm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. Actually, one time as like a part time gig,

I would contact restaurants because because I knew what our restaurant went through. I would contact other restaurants. This is when I was back in LA and jobs in the entertainment industry. I said, Listen, I'll write reviews about your restaurant. But you know, you can pay you have to pay me 20 bucks per review or something. And I got business. Oh, I could definitely see that. Yeah, for sure. That's not a bad hustle. Were there places you went to? Did you just get like the menu and look the menu? Yeah, it was like just the menu.

And then I contacted them in LA. So I kind of knew these restaurants anyway. And so I was able to do like a pretty authentic. Makes sense. Anything else, right? Yeah. Yeah. From Hollywood into the restaurant

industry getting steward in both I'm sure. Right. And then I was just really unhappy. And I came back to LA and I felt just like a broken person. I was like, is there nothing that's gonna make me happy? And what I realized I fell into a depression. And what I realized was that the reason why I wasn't happy is because I didn't even know who I was. And I didn't even know what I liked and didn't like and I hadn't explored me. I had been too concentrated on what I thought I should do, or what I thought

would look good, or what thought would look good or what would look cool or what like you know the the entertainment people wanted to see what other people want to see you know making my family happy and and so and the thing is I mean besides your family your family cares but other people don't care they're too concentrated on their own lives to really care too much about yours and I I realized that too. And I was like, Okay, I have to stop caring so much about what other people are thinking of me. That's actually none of my business. And I need to, I want to think good

of me. I want to be I want to wake up every day and feel good in my skin and be happy just because I exist. Not happy because I have a new boyfriend, not happy because I have more money, not happy because I have a new car or bag or whatever. I want to be happy just because I'm happy with myself. This is very hard. This is a hard thing in this day and age. It was very hard. This is a hard thing. It was very hard. The thing about me, and this is probably why I've been able to do so many things and be pretty successful at them, is because I do have a very focused and very determined. Okay, got a little ton of vision. Yeah, I got like a lot of tenacity. You need it. Yeah, you got to have it. I mean, going to be successful, you got little tunnel vision. Yeah I got like a lot of tenacity. You need it.

Yeah you gotta have it. I mean, you gotta be successful. You gotta have it. Yeah. We're getting around that. And I wouldn't say, when I think of tunnel vision, I think like you're just, I know what you're saying, because that's what I wanted to say too, is tunnel vision. But I have a full vision, but I'm like bullseye, I want to hit the mark.

Like I see a good periphery. I want to hit this mark. Yeah. And I and I think maybe because my you know, my dad was an immigrant from Italy, and he was such a hard worker, and he had so much. And, you know, he, he became successful, like the American dream. And I think growing up with him, I just kind of also had that courage just to go after what you want. Yeah. I mean, not a lot of people have it, I notice. Like, there's a lot of people in the world

that are like, I'll do this job that I got, and I'll do it till I'm dead and hopefully I don't lose it. And that's cool, you know? And that's fine too. But yeah, we need people like you too, who are like, I'm gonna do this crazy thing that no one does because that's what makes

the world fun, right? Well, exactly. And it's like, it doesn't really matter what you're doing as long as you're enjoying it and you're not hurting anyone. So if you love, like my friend, she works, most people don't like corporate jobs. I would not survive in a corporate job. I'd probably survive like two hours and be walk out.

But she actually really likes it. And she has this really huge personality. And she just likes being around all these people and she's really um she works at a huge accounting firm and she really likes numbers and math and stuff so it's she's happy mine that would be my nightmare but that is her joy so it's like the point is and this is my book's about all of this everything we're talking about but is, and this is my book is about all of this, everything we're talking about. But my book is about take your confusion

and put it as fuel in your self-discovery journey. And figure out what makes you gleeful and happy. And then do that. And that can be whatever it is. It could be being a teacher. It could be being an accountant. It could be an author, an actress, a farmer, you know? But we're not here for that long.

That's my message, Shavana. I say that so much my audience probably hates it. Like, time's running out. Time is running out, baby. You got, how many more years do you got? You know, it's crazy. And they go faster and faster the older you get. Yeah. And it's so crazy because when somebody I think really significant in your life dies, it's a real part of I felt that way for a while now. But my father did pass away two years ago.

And he was 71. He wasn't that old. And it was cancer. It was esophageal cancer. And he was a super old wasn't that old and it was cancer, it was esophageal cancer and he was super old guy, didn't smoke but cancer? Cancer comes man. I know all too well. You know and then to see also the decline of a man

who was so active, so healthy, I mean he would go on like a six mile run and then go play soccer and then the day, go take his bike out and you know, site he loved it. He was like a cyclist love to cycle and see him not be able to do any of that anymore. And then and then pass away. And it's like, wow, it it goes by like that. So do do the things that are in your soul to do, because you really do, you were, it's a blink of an eye in the whole.

Oh yeah. Yeah, it is. It's a short dance in the sun for sure. And that's it. Yeah, and we barter a lot of time for things in life. We barter a lot of time for things we don't wanna do. And you know, some of it's essential, right? There's work that has to get done no matter what, just part of life. But there are a lot of

choices you can make throughout each and every day where you gain some time to do the important stuff, you know, but that's why I like your message about, you know, accepting who you are, because I know I said it's not easy. It's really hard. You might be better at conveying it, but it's really hard to convey to people because some people even think that they are who they want to be and they're probably like in the situation that you were. You know what I mean? Like really succeeding, like hitting the bullseye, but not even knowing like, this isn't really what I wanna be doing, but I'm good at it.

Or I'm having success, so it feels like this is who I wanna be. I always feel like if you're not like, you feel like moderately embarrassed about how you wanna spend your time, that you're not quite there yet. Like most of the things I wanna do are like, I don't really want to tell everybody what I'm doing right now.

You know what I mean? Like I have a little table over there where I paint little toys. You know what I mean? And it's one of these new things I'm doing that I just really like. I don't really care how dorky it is. And luckily I'm married to a woman who also doesn't care. So that's huge. But you know, it's like that though, right? Like when you find the things that you really

like, it's not always like everybody goes, dude, that's cool. Like you want to work on classic cars and make them go, brr brr brr, you know? Yeah. It's usually something like kind of, kind of dorky or kind of weird, you know what I mean? But you love it. Yeah. And that's a good metric, I guess. I don't know if you have any metrics like in that ballpark where you can kind of gauge and be like,

I am doing what I wanna be doing, I can tell. You know, because it's hard. Well, I think so much of where we put an emphasis and where I put a lot of emphasis too before was like career. Like, you know, what am I gonna do for the rest of my life career wise? And that's become such a big, big part of everybody's focus on, you know, they're trying to pull

their happiness from it, they, they, I their identity is attached to what they do, they don't have any identity outside of that. And I just think the world is so much bigger than just what you do for work, you know? So, for instance, like what you were saying, like you paint little things, whatever. Warhammer. Warhammer. It's like, that's probably just the mere act of like painting and sitting there and doing that is a very peaceful. It's like meditative. Sure. It is definitely that.

You know, it's so I think everybody needs to have something like that, which is great. You know, I say if you have a career that you want to go after and do Do that because again time is short like we said like go after it I mean, I'm going after what I want to go after but even if let's say you don't right? I Think it's important to have like little joys within your day like for me I've been spending I kind of spent a lot of time alone this winter and I've been spending, I kind of spent a lot of time alone this winter. And what I realized about spending a lot of time alone, which I think is so cool, is when I go on walks, because I love to just go on walks, that's something that just makes me, my anxiety goes away, I feel peaceful, I connect with myself.

And I'm noticing these beautiful flowers. I'm noticing these amazing things. Because I've been spending a lot of time alone. It's like I'm very quiet with inside myself. And so when we go out into nature, I'm like, whoa, this is so pretty. Like it's a, like almost being on a little bit of a psychedelic, you know? It's.

Look, this is such a, I mean, if you haven't like gone through this stuff, then it is really, probably sounds really weird and almost kind of silk. Yeah. But like, it really happens. In 2020, I really like kicked up into meditation big time and I really slowed things down in my life and that was that stuff that

you're talking about is exactly what happens. You explain it to a tee. You're like, I never even knew that was there. You know what I mean? This bush of flowers or this tree or what you know we because we forage and we do all this stuff in the wilderness like we spend a lot of time in the woods and a lot of people that listen to this podcast do that. I guarantee you're walking by something crazy that you on your way to doing what you think you've got you got to do that you're missing but the way you brought that up about the seeing the flowers is like you know because you could see a flower and then you could like look at each petal and then you can look at like what's going on in

in the petal itself and the different colors and it gets crazy but that's exactly what it is and I'm glad to hear you say that because not a lot of people get it you know what I mean like yeah some people you could say like look at the flowers and they're like I'm looking at damn flowers like what do you want me to do you You know? Oh, I got a meeting in like, you know, 30 minutes. Let's just walk in. Exactly. Exactly. And I don't know if you could really

appreciate the big things in your life if you don't appreciate the small things. I think the small things are the essence of life. And I think it's super important to figure out the things that you enjoy doing. And maybe that's golfing, maybe that's swimming or hiking, whatever, and to do those things. And when you're doing those things,

really connect with yourself. I think we are in an era of major connection. We need to connect with yourself. I think we are in an era of like major connection, like we need to connect with ourselves. It just feels for me like the world is pushing us in that direction, because a lot of us are a lot more isolated. And like people aren't coupling as much as they used to. True. Yeah. And so you are spending more time by yourself, but people aren't kind of utilizing that they're on their phone all the time or the news or, you know, and it's like, send it up. It's like just spend literally 10 minutes meditating, or 10 minutes on a walk with just your

thoughts and connecting with yourself. And it's really your world is going to start to shift and become a lot more magical. And you're going to be a lot more happy just with like 10 minutes a day of connecting with yourself. Yeah, I think you have to. I don't know how to do it. But I think you have to get people to hit the brakes

on life. I don't know how to teach it or how to tell people to do it, but that's what it was for me. For me it was there was a pace that I was living life, the like in and out of traffic screaming at cars pace, you know what I mean? And you've got to like before you can do any of this looking and appreciating it really felt to me like I got to slow way down because you have to take the time to see the thing. You know, like, and if you're always in like, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? And it's like, oh, that's Penn. Okay. And, you know, and, and onto the next thing. But

what's super valuable, Giovanna, for me was the way I looked at started looking at those flowers was also the way I started looking at my kids and my wife, you know, so, and my kids in particular, because they were little, so they would do a bunch of stuff that is like, I don't know what you're doing right now. It looks cool. It looks safe. Keep doing it. You know what I mean? And then when you slow stuff down, you could be like, let's talk about what you're doing, man. Tell me about what you're... You know what I mean? You really start having conversations with people again, because when you have kids and you have career and all that stuff, it's just like,

oh, oh, oh, you know what I mean? Like, when can I go to bed? And that kind of stuff, you know, just slow down. Because the other thing that's, the thing that's really scary, Giovanna, like life is scary because it's gonna end, you know it's gonna end, you know, the short dance in the sun.

But what's really scary is when you have kids, you are on, now you're on two timeframes. It's like, I'm gonna die, but in the next 10 years, my kid is gonna go from like, dad's the greatest thing in the world who can beat up everybody, to dad's this thing that's in the way of everything. And I just wanna get out of the house.

But all the time before that is, if you have the time to enjoy it, and if you know how to enjoy it, there's no better time in life. I mean, for me, I have two boys. It's just been insane. But it's that same mentality, like double the, it's the second coat of paint on the wicked time. You know what I mean? It's coming for us all.

So yeah, to slow down like you talked about is the key, man. It really is. Wow, and I'm so happy that you've gotten to that place. I think a lot of times to be able to get to that place, you have to go through a period of suffering or pain. I know for me, what woke me up to this was because I was like the total opposite. I was never stopping and swelling the roses. I was like I was like

a little bulldozer bulldozing my way through life and nothing was good enough. And I was like a glass with no bottom. It's like you could pour the whole thing. Yeah, sure. It's all empty. And that's such an awful feeling is, you know, even accolades didn't make me happy anymore. Even someone's like, I'm pretty or something didn't make me happy anymore. It's like nothing made me happy anymore. It was just like, it was all meaningless. Because I didn't feel good about myself.

And so, and then that's where the confusion is too. It's like, OK, well, then what is life? Why am I here? What's my purpose? How do you feel good? Is joy and gratitude and these feelings that would be so great to experience here on earth and feel more than not, like how do I do that?

How do I feel that? So what's so great about being confused is that you start to ask yourself these questions, and you start to figure things out. And who knows where that can lead you? For instance, something happened with you, where you're like, what am I doing? What is life?

I'm just kind of running through life, and I have these little kids, and pretty soon they're going to be grown up. It's like, if I don't enjoy this now, it's just all gonna pass me by and you know, and so and then you you kind of like, okay, well, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna shift this because I don't want to wake up one day and go, oh my gosh, I was so annoyed the whole time they were growing up and I never really got to enjoy it. or really got to enjoy it. That's perfect. Cause that's exactly what it can be. It can definitely be, I'm so annoyed all the time and then they're adults.

And you're like, oh God. Cause that's scary to me. I don't know if you have like, you have like a bucket full of regrets or are you afraid of, I'm always afraid of regrets. Like I'll kill myself to avoid a regret. You know what I mean?

Like whatever it takes, I'm gonna do it because I don't wanna look back and be like, you should've done that, dude. That wasn't that hard. Most of the time it's not, you know? Maybe if I had kids, you know, I think you're so concerned about their wellbeing and you're hoping you're not gonna mess them up

that I think maybe you'd be like, oh, I should've done that done the rest of their love. I think if I had kids, maybe I would be scared of that. But with myself, I really have gotten to this place. I have a lot of self-compassion and self-love. So I go, I don't even, I guess I don't really regret because I do go after the things I want. I know I'm like a decent, good human being

that's always trying to do good. And when I mess up, I apologize. I try to take ownership and shift it. And so, yeah, no regrets. I don't, mm-mm. That's good. That's a good thing. No. That does, yeah, no, I't. That's good. That's a good thing. Yeah.

No, I mean, that's good. They had seen like a thing to avoid just based off of watching people get old and wither away, which I've seen like my handful of. Go ahead. I wanted to say, I wanted to say, and actually I think another reason why I don't have regrets is because

I actually don't believe in failure. Explain that. You failed a lot. I don't actually think failure exists. I think it's a perspective. And so what's really happening is not that you failed, it's that whatever you did didn't meet your expectation

so like for instance, I started my Yoga wear line and for like five years, you know when I hustled hustled hustled and work part-time jobs He had off the ground and it was incredible got off the ground It was making me a living for like five years something that I literally Like cool idea. Yeah, yeah crystal inspired yoga pants, I mean. Yeah. I want those. And.

Definitely the tethering together of two worlds that were really kind of close already, you know. Yes, yes. And I also started it before, I started it over a decade ago. So it was before yoga was so mainstream and everybody was making yoga gear. So I was definitely an OG of the yoga leggings.

And so it was a successful for like five years. And then so much competition entered the market. And so it started to not be able to financially support me like before. I was definitely bugged out, you know, when I had to veer and go in different directions. But I never looked at it like a failure, ever. I mean, five years in business supporting yourself

is definitely not a failure. Right, but even in- I feel like it's just the nature of doing business. Like you can't expect, like I created a business that's gonna outlive me just because it's just the nature of doing business. Like you can't expect like I created a business that's gonna outlive me just because it's so cool. Five years is really something to be proud of. Business is tough, I think. It is.

But my expectation was so high. I mean, I thought I was gonna have stores all over America and I was gonna have a huge office in Los Angeles with 300 employees. I know, I just- I got you. Now I'm seeing the full picture. I get it. You know, I was going for the gold here, okay?

And I, so that didn't happen, but I still, I was like, oh my gosh, this has given me so much opportunity because the Act of World Live is doing really well. For two of those years, I lived abroad and I wrote my book. So it gave me the opportunity to write my book. And so, and even like I did this silly thing during COVID, I bought like 500 Pilates rings from China. And I thought, Ooh, I'm going to become a seller on Amazon.

I had no idea how difficult the Amazon market is now and that I know about any of it. And so I lost about $6,000, which for me is like a lot of money. And I but even then I didn't beat myself up as a failure. I learned. And I said, you know what? You never are going to do anything again where you are not 100% excited and invested in it, because it doesn't work for me.

If I'm not 100% excited and invested in it, it doesn't work. When I am excited and invested, it works. So that and so I don't even look at that as a failure. I look at that as like a great learning lesson to now, you know, really that that kind of guides me because my book right now is being published and it's going to come out in two months. But I'm like, Okay, what else should I do? What else should I start now? And then I go, No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Let's just just just enjoy this and doing the PR for this and this right now Because remember if we go into other things that that we're not a hundred percent in it doesn't work for you Yeah, yeah My audience right now is going listen James listen to what she has to say, because I am the guy with 40 different irons in the fire all the time. And sometimes I'm like, oh, that iron is burnt. I got to get rid of that one. That didn't work out. Yeah, that's that's a hard thing for me to do. It's very hard for me to just be like, I'm going to do a podcast today and I'm going to do it the best way I can and I'm going to be done.

That's really hard. I like that. You know, one thing that's interesting about hearing you talk about your experiences is in terms of like not believing in failure is when you lay them out and I listen, I don't hear failure at all, which is kind of funny. But when you know when you're in your own head, it's real easy to be like, well, that was a failure. You know what I mean? That's why I don't believe in failure, because it's a perspective.

Like if somebody told me their greatest failure, I'd be like, well, what did you learn? I think actually the only failure would be not learning anything. And yeah, I've done some of that too, though. Some mistakes that I've made more than once. You're like, oh, I'm doing this of that too though. More than once. You're like, oh, I'm doing this again. Crap.

I've been on this trail before. It's still not a failure because you're getting closer to the gold. No, it's true. You know, it's like when you date the wrong person over and over and over again. Right. Exactly. And you're like, wow, here we go again. Okay.

You need to keep like burning your hand on the stove before you realize that you don't over again. Right, exactly. And you're like, wow, here we go again. Okay. Need to keep like burning your hand on the stove before you realize that you don't want to do that anymore. Yeah, look, I mean, we all have those things in our life, I feel like, right? Those things that were like, you either think you're never going to overcome it, or you think you'd know you think you're never, you know, going to stop doing this dumb thing. And then one day, hopefully, I mean, a lot of people do it. One day it's like, oh, I don't do that anymore. Or I stopped making that same mistake or I stopped, whatever, stopped dating that same person.

And then all of a sudden it's like, wow, that's crazy. Just came to an end. No, it is really cool when that happens. Like I remember every guy was like a narcissist and I didn't even, that was before that I worked, everyone was using the word narcissist. Like- That is the word now, isn't it?

I don't even know what it means. I thought I knew what it means. But yeah, but yeah. The way I look at narcissism is somebody that lacks empathy, can't take accountability. And if you do, it's like a manipulation. They're just saying, sorry, just to get you to move on. But then you're always back at square one.

If you're always finding yourself back at square one with somebody, there's a problem there. But so- It's a dangerous world out there in the dating game, isn't it, Giovanna? Oh my gosh. It's a thing. I found in the dating game, isn't it, Giovanna? Oh my gosh. It's a thing. I found myself like, I don't know why this is.

I found myself listening to all this stuff about dating like two, three years ago. Not married for like years and years. You know what I mean? Not interested in any of it, but very interested in it. Like listening to what guys are going through right now, girls are going through right now, listening to podcasts about it and being like, wow, like it's a lot. is because you're seeing a huge cultural shift. Because when I was growing up, when you were growing up, everybody was married, and you thought that's what you were gonna do too.

Like you just, there was no other, it wasn't like, oh. That was the path, yeah. Yeah, it was like, I never even thought, I knew I wanted to go to college, I knew I wanted to travel, but I never thought I wouldn't get married and have kids I would I never even thought of that as an option. It was like, oh, you're gonna get

me you're gonna find the love of your life and find your prince charming. Right? Yeah. Happily ever after. And you're gonna have kids and have a house and you're gonna have all of this by 29. Yeah, you know, and so it's it's so ridiculous, actually, when you think about it. But you know, that that was that that was the generation before and and now it's like, we've never seen anything like this before, where you have so many different options to do so many different. Yeah, it's like women. They're

like, you know what? I don't know. I don't think I want to have kids. And then or, you know, I want to get married and I don't want to have kids or I want to have I know this one girl, gorgeous girl. I went to college with her. She kept dating like these guys really good looking guys, but I guess not very nice. And so she, but she really wanted to be a mother.

And so, and she comes from like, I think a pretty like, you know, wealthy family. So she just, we just went to the store. Just did it on her own. She had two daughters and it's so, oh my gosh, I love seeing her Facebook because I think it's amazing that she did this because I'm like, you know what? She wasn't gonna let anything stop her from doing what she really wanted to do in life.

And I super support that. And she wanted to have kids. And so, and also no one can take her kids away from her because it's not like no guy can come and take them away. No dad can. Oh, I see. Like legally kind of thing. Yeah. Well, if you like,

cause you have to kind of be scared of that nowadays because almost everybody ends up divorced. I think the rate of divorce is higher than the rate of people that stay together. Is it? I don't really know the data. I think the rate of divorce is higher than the rate of people that stay together. Is it? I don't really know the data. I think it is. To be honest.

At last I remembered it was like 50-50, but it could be worse. Who knows? How would you even collect? I'm really suspect of data. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because nobody ever calls me and goes, hey, how's the marriage going? You know what I mean? Because nobody ever calls me and goes, Hey, how's the marriage

going? You know what I mean? So like, and I don't know anybody who ever takes any of those polls or gets in any. So I'm always a little bit of a suspect. Based on, based on talking to friends who are married, though, I could definitely see how lots of marriages could end in divorce for sure. It's not an easy thing. Just two people living together is not an easy thing. And then you stir in kids and love and attraction, keeping all that, it's a lot for sure. I know, I mean, really it is a lot.

Like even when I'm with a friend for a week, I'm like, oh, get out of my energy. Get out of my space. I want to be in my own energy. I just want to be in the house by myself. I don't want you here. Go take a walk. I know.

Yeah, it's tough. It's a tough. And if you don't have somebody who's in it, like, I want to be married and you want to be married. You know what I mean? If you don't have that going on, if you have somebody who's like, I can see not being married. Like it's going to fall apart for sure.

Yeah. And I think it is interesting too, cause I think some people are just, and this is actually what I really like about this day and age with all of its craziness and confusion and stuff. I do like that there are more options for people and it's more acceptable to, you know, do what she did, have two kids on her own with no man

or a girl like me who travels the world alone and is single and has her own businesses and rights. I mean, that's really cool. I probably wouldn't have been able to do that 30, 40 years ago. Sure. You know?

People would be like, she's the witch that lives up the street on the hill. She's the hippie weird girl. You know? Yeah. Or I love the option of, hey, I met this amazing man, and we're going to have a family, build this beautiful life together.

I love that, too. I love that too I love all the genres and that's why like for me I just think it's important to figure out what you who you are what you like what works for you and then Manifest that instead of being something That you think you should do and then ending up stuck in a situation where you're like, Oh my God, I regret doing not doing this. Yeah, then marriage and kids regrets. That's that's really, that's really real. What's real. But it's also real women that followed their career

and they regret not having kids. That's real too. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. When you, so when you went from cup never full to like the transition from cup never full to confused girl, what was in between there? You know, like it wasn't revelation or was it more of like, like you said, there was sort of like a depressive point in your life where you were like, I'm not happy. Nothing, nothing I'm doing is making me happy type of thing. Yeah, that like a long stretch we talk in years or And it was probably, well, it was like the depression kind of had been, if I really am honest about it, it was like low key all through my 20s. Just nagging, okay.

Just like it was there, it was like the demon, and then it just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and then I was like, wow, I can't do this. Yeah, okay. I can't do this. Yeah. And so it was just time to face the demons and, and I did. And I, you know,

I kind of became like a little monk in the four walls of my apartment and I started really reading a ton of self-help books. I was doing yoga. I was doing meditation. I had a gratitude journal. I was watching, you know, self-help stuff on YouTube. And I, and so I was just kind of like this sponge taking in all the knowledge and just, like again, my main goal was I want to feel good just because I exist. That was the main goal.

It's like, I don't want my worth to be attached to anything outside of myself. And it's really crazy about intentions because if you if you really want something like legitimate, you know, like, and my desire for this was so great. And I did I asked God, I prayed, I asked my angels, I was like, please help me, I just want to feel better. And they- It's nice for sure. They do come in to help you.

Like they do. They do help you when you ask. And I feel like, well, actually what happened was, so I was doing this for about six months. And then one day I woke up and it was the craziest thing. I had this, and you'll probably get this if you've done like, you said you meditated a lot. So my life became this whole meditative experience,

trying to feel better. So I woke up one day and I had this crazy energy running through my body. It was like joy and gratitude. And it felt like I had taken a molly. And I was jumping up on the bed because I was like, this is what I wanted. This is what I wanted.

I just wanted to feel good. And so I go out, I was like, I gotta go out into nature. And I live by the beach. And so I went out by the beach and I was like looking at the water and the water just, how you were saying about the flower earlier, I just looked at it and I was like, whoa. And I was like, this tree.

And then I started to love trees because I love how like, you know, and the branches, love how the branches go in the ground. And, you know, even in my neighborhood, even like the underneath, like our homes and our apartments, the floor will start to like your wood floors will start to open a little bit. And it's because the branches the the roots of the trees are so crazy. And like into the ground. We all you know, so I

was just like, wow, they're magnificent. And there's this quote that I love. It's not about seeking new landscapes. It's about having new eyes. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly. Yeah.

If you could bottle it, you said it was like taking a Molly. Like, if you can bottle that for people, it would be, it would be, I know exactly what you're talking about. When I start like, like smiling, laughing, listening to you talk is because I know I just, you don't run into a lot of people who are outwardly open about going through this stuff that you go through. And I remember going through it and being like, this is so bananas. Like that this, you know what?

I think the loneliness and the deprivation of outside stimulation is part of that transformation. Like that's an essential part is, because when you're on the phone and in the news and all that kind of stuff, it's like you're so stimulated all the time. And you had that kind of six month monk period, like you call it. I think that's part of it. I think that's part of having that awakening is you got to turn that stuff down in order to like open up, you know, whatever it is, you have to go inward. And,

and it's, you know, people say that like, you know, all the answers are inside of yourself. Go to it. It's so hard, but it's like, it's true though. And I know, and I'm like, Oh my gosh. And then I see people gazing and grass is always greener and chasing like all the time. And they're like, so desperate for that. chasing like all the time and they're like so desperate for that their next fix of whatever it is, the new or the new man or the new this or the new that and it's like so desperate and it's just like, that's miserable. You know, you can go inside and yourself and find peace. It's like that will you know, one can take that away from you.

Yeah. The question is can people, like, is it prescription based or does it have to happen through necessity? I'm like a big dork and I love Dragon Ball Z. And in order to turn super saiyan and get really strong, it has to, the power comes in response to a need. That's what they say in the show. The power comes in response, like somebody's dying, I got to help them. And that's what I always thought about that.

I always, after going through that, I always thought like, is this, like, can you actually, can you even walk someone through it? You know what I mean? Or is it something that you have to like go through? Because you have to slow your life down. You have to go some sort of prayer or meditation or something like that on a regular basis to reopen your eyes to what life is. And then, yeah. So I guess you probably didn't start writing the book till after, right? Yeah, I know. Go ahead and do that.

Yeah, yeah. So after that, then I started actually a blog called Confused Girl in the City. Once I got out of my depression, and I was like, oh my gosh, what? I'm confused. And then I was like, I don't need to feel ashamed, though, about being confused anymore.

Because after the depression, I'm like, I don't need to feel ashamed though, about being confused anymore. Because I kind of like after the depression, I'm like, I don't care what anybody thinks about me. And then after I had that awakening, I was like, I don't care what anybody thinks. I like, I'm on my journey. And that's another one of those things. Like you can't think that's you get into the stuff that you get, that you're like where you're at in life is almost, I'm sure people all the time are like, just stop. Because it's so hard to tell people what you're saying.

And you get into the valley of cliches and you feel like, I want you to feel this, but I know I sound silly. You know what I mean? Do you ever feel like that? Like, I want you to see the world. I want you to be yourself. I want you to, you know what I mean? Do you ever feel like that? Like, I want you to see the world. I want you to be yourself. I want you to, you know what I mean? I always feel like people are like, dude.

I do, I feel, and then also like, it's about the journey and not the destination kind of thing, but it's so true. It's like, oh. It's so true, I know. That's what I mean. It feels so cliche. And when you have, like I have like a 13 year old,

so like conveying these things to him is real tough because he's at like cynical 13 make fun of everything world you know how you were probably when you were 13. Do somebody like that. Like, yeah, it's so hard to convey those things to people because, you know, like I said, it sounds so cliche, but it is like there's reasons there's so many poems and books and you know Holy books written about the stuff, you know, because it's it's 100% legit. But when you talked about I don't care what anybody thinks about me. Like that's another one of those That's another one of those things that until you really feel it, and again, you've got to get into that sort of uncomfortable, like, I'm kind of embarrassed about these things, but I'm going to take them on anyway, and I'm going to talk to people about them because

I really don't care. You know what I mean? What people think about me. It's just, you know, it's one of those things. It's hard to explain, but you're doing a great job at explaining it. So I'm sure the book is great in terms of conveying that message to people. Thank you. Thank you.

It is my heart and soul. And I actually was reading it today because they're actually the publishing companies hiring me to do the voiceover. I saw that. I saw you have the audio book available. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm, so I was just kind of practicing today and I was reading. Oh, I got it. I was like, I was like, Oh my gosh, I think this is gonna help so many people. That makes me so happy. Sure. Well, I mean,

it's like I said, the journey is the title is great. And the journey is essential. You know, it really is. It's an essential thing and it's just weird that, like it feels like something I wish you could teach kids in high school. Like I wish you, along with your diploma, you could come out and be like, oh, look at the flowers. You know, because everybody gets there at different times

and some people get there like 90, you know, and that's scary. Some people get there like, you know, 50, 60, that's why I think this book is good for anybody at any age because it's you could go through this at different points in your life. I kind of think that the like, the younger generation will go through it younger. I don't think so. I don't think.

I feel like everything's kind of speeding up in that regard. I hope so. And probably the parents. I think parents are, I know parents are way different. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's the discussions that you have with kids now are way deeper and better than most parents had growing up.

I don't know how your parents were, but most parents, I think, growing up were kind of surface level, like, what the hell are you doing? All right, don't do that. Do this. Get out of here. Definitely. Definitely. A lot of love, but definitely surface level.

Not really. And not and and and I get it too, because it's really uncomfortable when you see like a child unhappy. So you just want them to stop because you make sure you know, and then you will with that discomfort with inside yourself. And so that's painful too, because it's like your own pain and then, you know, they're like a little you and then they're in an office too much pain. Just stop it. Be happy.

Just go away. So so I get how that could be uncomfortable for parents. So I don't I definitely don't blame the older generations for that. But I'm happy that I know. And you know, this is another thing. It's like, it's great. I think that that now kids are getting more emotional support. But then it's almost like everybody's a victim and they're turning into little babies. And no part of it. Part of the reason why I'm the way I am is because I grew up kind of with like a, my dad was tough. You know, he was like, Oh yeah, you still need it. Yeah. You know, to people, they, you know, they did not have it easy.

So they, it wasn't like, Oh, cutie pie, you know, was it, it, it could be tough. But that also made me successful and get to this place. Oh, definitely. Well, it's kind of hard to know what to do. Oh, for sure. Well, you know, the one thing that is important, and I noticed this about people in that have gone on the journey is you get to a point where you're comfortable with who you are you get to a point where you I don't like to say don't care because you always care to some degree and but what people who who make the most of that path have is always discipline. You know what I mean? So, and not, you know, I'm very hard on myself. I don't know if you're very hard on yourself, but

you can't get there without the discipline and you can't stay there without the discipline. So, it sounds like, you know, everything's great. I love me. I love me exactly the way I am. But there's also that like discipline that is required, right? So that you can say, I'm going to write a book, and then you actually write it. Because a lot of people say, I'm going to write a book, and they open up a Word document and go, this is going to be cool one day, but not today. And then years go by, because it's hard to write a book.

It's not easy. It's a hard thing to do. Yeah, definitely a hard thing to do. And I actually wrote it when I was living in Bali and another discipline thing that I would do because I struggle with anxiety. I always have, I was always like hyperactive, you know, even as a child.

So to get me to settle is, it can be difficult. So knowing this, I would, you know, go and do an hour and a half of yoga every day when I was living in Bali and Then afterward I'd go to a cafe with my laptop and then I'd like be like, okay, let's let's let's write so I and I was and I Was not socializing a ton. I mean I did have make some friends there I did a little bit just because you have to socialize a little bit but I was pretty much kind of on my own a lot because I

was on a mission. And so you do definitely have to have discipline. And I think what's cool now because I know I'm going to get things done. I know that when I say I'm gonna do something, I'm going to do it. Give myself some leeway. Now I kind of just wake up when unless I have like a podcast early or something I really have to do early. I kind of let myself wake up and wake up. If one day I miss yoga, like I know I'll go tomorrow. It's okay. I don't yeah, pound myself anymore. Like I used to I, I give myself a

break because I know that, okay, even if I didn't get it done today, I know I'll get it done tomorrow. And whatever I used to. I give myself a break because I know that, okay, even if I didn't get it done today, I know I'll get it done tomorrow. And whatever I have to do today, I will get done today. It's all right. Yeah, that's important. Grace, a little grace goes a long way. I like that. Yeah, because you know, driven people need that, because they will tear themselves into bits and pieces. You know, it's a rough ride for sure. We work with ourselves, you know? Oh yeah, yeah, I get that. If you know, you know, you know what I mean?

If you know, you know, like people probably ask you like, how do you do all the stuff that you do? And you're like, well, I torture myself to get it all done, I'm sure. Or maybe not anymore if you've gotten over that, but that you do. And you're like, well, I torture myself to get it all done, I'm sure. Or maybe not anymore if you've gotten over that, but that's good. Not anymore. You know what was a big wake up call for me with that?

Was my dad crying. Because my dad- Oh yeah. And my dad would work like, I've never seen somebody work as many hours as him. I mean, he would work like 18 hour days, go to sleep for a couple hours, wake up. I mean, maybe like the only other person

that I've seen kind of, I would imagine is kind of similar with the working. It seems like Trump doesn't really sleep and he's like working all day. So I. Yeah. Yeah. You might be right about that.

Yeah. And my dad was kind of built like that too. And so, and I think he ignored his body. And so he, and even like I told you, when he went on a run, it was like a six mile run. And it was like, go play soccer intensely. And everything was so intense and he never gave himself a break

that he literally, I think died younger because of it. Yeah. What can happen is you just start to like numb out, you know what I mean? When things get real crazy and you know, restaurant industry is crazy. So yeah, you can definitely start to feel that if you're not intentional about it because you're just like these feelings Get them the hell out of you. I don't got time for that, you know

Yeah Yeah, you know, it's a tough one. So when the book out exactly So it's coming out may 13th, but you people can pre-order it now And you can pre-order it on Um, okay, you can also go to my website. My website is confusedgirlinthecity.com and the book is called Confused Girl, Find Your Peace in the Chaos. Find Your Peace in the Chaos.

Yeah, that was what started it all. We put out a shirt like three years, what was in 2020? All of it happened in 2020 for me, but we put out a shirt, three years, what was in 2020? All of it happened in 2020 for me, but we put out a shirt, which is a little guy in a meditative seat with a gas mask on for our audience. And it was said, calm within chaos. And calm within chaos has been our thing. Oh my gosh, I love that.

That's fabulous. Yeah, that was how we got through 2020, when it started to get real crazy. Because our audience in particular could use a lot of what you talk about because of the fact that we stay so plugged in to not just like regular news, but also like world events. Like we're like all these crazy ass detectives, Giovanna. That's what we're really like.

Like the prepper community, like these psycho detectives. Yeah, it's really weird. It's a weird thing. Like you get texts from your friends. Yeah, yeah. We get texts from our buddies and they're like, there's an outbreak of this disease in this location. And I think it might be tied to this.

And then it's like, what's the next pandemic? Is this the cabal? What's the cabal gonna do next? What's the next trick up their sleeve? You know, I know we all become and such detectives. Well, and honestly though, right now, it's such an entertaining time. I mean, every time you turn,

it's kind of hard to pry yourself away from the news because every time you turn it on, there's like something else happening. It's like, entertainment. And so, but I, for me, I look at it kind of as entertainment, but I think for other people, it's really destabilizing and there- It becomes purpose. Yeah. And I'm

like, thing is it becomes purpose for sure. I see. Okay, people go out, help a neighbor go to yoga, go plant a flower. Like that's when you when it's because my friend it was affecting his mental health. And so he got all off social media. And so he got all off social media. He went to Mexico for three weeks. He, he chilled out, you know? And, and he, and then I would like send him something and he's like, don't send me this stuff.

The only thing you can send me is funny things. He's like, I don't want to see anything else. And I was like, okay. This is another natural progression. I have a, I have a really hard time getting too deep into that stuff because of that. You get started like turned off by it, you know what I mean? You're like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't want to know what's going on. Yeah, too much of anything isn't good.

Yeah, well that's a good way to look at it, definitely. How did you start? I don't want to keep you too long. I know I said we do an hour. Do you have a second to talk about yoga a little bit? Oh, about yoga? Sure, sure, sure. Well, I mean, I'll preface you with a question if that makes it easier. I just wanted to get your okay.

I didn't wanna keep you past the hour if you have something else. Sure, sure. I'll see you in four minutes and then. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I was just interested in a few more minutes and then... Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I was just interested in finding out, well, two things really, because I like your perspective and it's pretty much right on the money with my perspective in terms of a lot of this stuff

and yoga is a tough sell to the audience here. But I've been doing it since 2009 when it was one of those things that's like, I'm embarrassed to talk about it kind of thing. You know? But I wanted to know how you got into it and then kind of like why the average person needs. You know? Okay.

So yoga, like literally, I think it was one of like the main things that really saved me here. So when I was in going through my depression, my roommate, she was doing this 30-day yoga challenge. And she said, why don't you come to my yoga class with me? I think you'd like it. And I hadn't really done it. Maybe I had done a class before, but honestly, I don't remember.

That might have been my first yoga class, I think. So because I was more like, oh, I'm going to go on a run. I'm going to do like a high intensity interval training. And I would do those things to release energy, exercise. And so I was like, OK, I'll come to yoga with you. So I did this yoga class with her and it was a vinyasa flow, which is you know, an intense power yoga. It's not just stretching, you're moving. It's difficult. Any guy that

does boot camp or boxing or whatever, you're gonna die. Okay, that's so hard. I can't believe girls do this. Oh, yeah, no, yeah. It's a different kind of endurance. So I did it. And I didn't even notice this. I noticed this after. But at that time, my mind was on like a really negative mental loop. It was like a record player just like consistently playing like my shortcomings and feeling unworthy and not. Yeah. So when I was doing I have that record too. I own that record as well. That record that record though had gotten out of control

and I wasn't able to I wasn't able to change it. Yeah. And that's how the depression actually happened. But so I was dealing with that, which was just excruciating pain. And I went to the yoga class and when I was doing yoga, it stopped. And first class, first class, first class. And then after I did the yoga class, I felt like so relaxed and just chill. And it was, and then the record player started again, but it was, it gave me space. Yoga gave me space between the negative thinking and being.

I was able just to like just be and not have that looping. And even like my, you know, running wouldn't give me that. Cause I'd be, it would be playing while I was running. My high intensity interval classes, the record would be playing while I was doing that. But yoga, with with yoga it would just Stop and then after yoga and I was like, oh my gosh, I have to do this

More because this this it's it's giving me a break from this pain, which was so it was Well what I was going through internally like it was very Excruciating. And yoga gave me that reprieve. So I highly, highly recommend it, you know, for everyone. It's good for people that like, cause I'm a bit obsessive, compulsive,

high energy, anxious, amazing. If you've used any of that, it's amazing. Negative thinking, it's amazing for that. And it's so good for your body too. Like it's good stretching and opening up. I mean, and the thing is, I understand what you're saying about your audience kind of being like, that's for chicks, because that's what my dad would say. My dad would be like, yeah, yoga is for girls, you know, and, and then actually, when I was

living in Bali, my parents came to visit and they did a yoga class. And my dad was like, I think because he was out of his element, he would have never done it in America. But because it's involved, Asian esque. Yeah, yeah. He was like, Okay, so he did it at one of the resorts we're staying at. And he was like, Wow, that I feel really good. That was, he's like that that was hard. That was not easy. And I told him, I said, Papa, you know, all the

Italian soccer players do yoga. And he's like, I know they don't. And I said, Yes, they do, actually. Sacrilege. I know a lot of footballers, a lot of sports, like all of the guys, they all do yoga. Yeah, it's perfect for helping you keep from getting injured. I do a lot of high intensity stuff and heavy weights and stuff like that. I think it's why I never get injured. I do a lot of high intensity stuff and heavy weights and stuff like that. I think it's why I never get injured. I think it's 100% why I so rarely ever get injured because of yoga, to be honest.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But Giovanna, you were awesome. You were absolutely awesome. I mean, like, you know, we have a lot of people on here who like say things about the way that they live that are really strange, because the prepper lifestyle is strange. But I don't know that we've had anyone on who is as authentic, you know what I mean? At least as authentic with the whole journey of becoming who you are now. And it's so important for people to hear it. I appreciate it. Oh, thank to hear it. I appreciate it.

Aw, thank you, James. I appreciate you. This was such a fun conversation. I really enjoyed this and I hope the audience did too. I think they will. I definitely think they will. It's like I said, it's one of those things. People gotta work through it at their own pace,

but if they can latch onto one idea that we said and, and, and start that journey, man, come out on the other end, like, wow, they were right. It's way better. You're right. It's just doing one thing. It's just one of these things you start doing. And then it's like, just see how your life unfolds. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Give it time.

Give it time and give it your best because it could change your entire outlook. Yes. So pre-order the book, PVN Family, if you wanna learn more from the confused girls in this city. And yeah, I'm gonna be checking it out for sure. I appreciate you coming on, Giovanna.

And also one final thank you for kicking off this 2025 year here at the prepper broadcasting network with some guests that were you know We're not typically having on the network regularly. You didn't teach us how to build a hut in the woods or start a fire It's it's refreshing so We'll talk to you guys soon. Thanks so much. Support the sponsors, the whole nine yards, and I'll be on tomorrow morning with PBN News. All right.