The Prepper Broadcasting Network - Matter of Facts with Raising Values: Thankful for the Holidays

Episode Date: November 26, 2023

http://www.mofpodcast.com/www.pbnfamily.comhttps://www.facebook.com/matteroffactspodcast/https://www.facebook.com/groups/mofpodcastgroup/https://rumble.com/user/Mofpodcastwww.youtube.com/user/philrabhttps://www.instagram.com/mofpodcasthttps://twitter.com/themofpodcastSupport the showMerch at: https://southerngalscrafts.myshopify.com/Shop at Amazon: http://amzn.to/2ora9riPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/mofpodcastPurchase American Insurgent by Phil Rabalais: https://amzn.to/2FvSLMLShop at MantisX: http://www.mantisx.com/ref?id=173*The views and opinions of guests do not reflect the opinions of Phil Rabalais, Andrew Bobo, or the Matter of Facts Podcast*Phil and Gillian join forces for a holiday special, talking about prepping for the inevitable travel coming up this week and talking through being thankful for the blessings we have in our lives. Matter of Facts and Raising Values will be back on their normal schedules next week. Thank you for bearing with us while we prep our house for the Thanksgiving Invasion.https://www.facebook.com/RaisingValuesPodcast/https://www.instagram.com/raisingvaluespodcast/Matter of Facts is now live-streaming our podcast on YouTube channel, Facebook page, and Rumble. See the links above, join in the live chat, and see the faces behind the voices.Intro and Outro Music by Phil RabalaisAll rights reserved, no commercial or non-commercial use without permission of creator prepper, prep, preparedness, prepared, emergency, survival, survive, self defense, 2nd amendment, 2a, gun rights, constitution, individual rights, train like you fight, firearms training, medical training, matter of facts podcast, mof podcast, reloading, handloading, ammo, ammunition, bullets, magazines, ar-15, ak-47, cz 75, cz, cz scorpion, bugout, bugout bag, get home bag, military, tactical

Welcome back to the Matter of Facts podcast. And welcome to the Raising Values podcast. So the short version is, it's the holidays, everybody's really busy, I couldn't get my co-host, my wife and I were camping this past weekend, so obviously we're kind of a little bit behind the eight ball, and we're going to cheat just a little bit for the holidays. And you're going to get an episode for Raising Values and Matter of Facts, both of them rolled in together, and that'll just be the way it is. Makes our life easier, and you only have to listen to one podcast this week. They only have to listen to me once. That's a plus.

I think they come to listen to you and Andrew for Matter of Facts, dear. Even though most people would regard listening to me twice in a week as torture. Well, they have said they liked me better, so. I can't begrudge them that. Well, anyway, so Phil does have a little bit of a topic that he just kind of threw in my lap that I wasn't quite ready for, but we'll get into that. But because of the holiday and it being Thanksgiving, we obviously wanted to do we wanted to do the most obvious of topic and discuss what we're thankful for and the things we've grown to whatever. Appreciate. That's a good word. Appreciate. So I think probably we should start with your topic and then we can end it off with our thankfulness and appreciations. Well, I mean, Andrew and I over the course of the last seven years have certainly beat to death the topic of like prepping for travel, prepping around the holidays. But I always think it bears digging back into just because like the way we do things has evolved over the years you know i'm saying like we're we're probably i feel like we're in the position our lives now

honey where we're making many many smaller trips throughout the year whereas when we were younger we really only made like one or two long five-hour trips at a time but now that like my parents live in hammond your parents are in that area. We go to your sister who's only like a couple hours away. I feel like we're making those short range trips much more frequently as opposed to like, we're going to get beyond the road for six hours. We're going to be someplace for three or four days. You agree? Yeah, I think so. Well, especially right now with the way the economy is and money being tight and, you know, you can actually go to a beach in Mexico cheaper than you can go to the coast of Alabama for a week. You know, those longer trips do cost a lot more.

So we are taking smaller trips closer to home and more frequent ones that are closer to home. So, yeah, I do agree with you on that. Yeah, but I feel like that has, like, my perspective has always been that the distance I'm going away from home, and you've seen this being with me, has naturally kind of scaled what we bring with us other than the obvious, clothes and iPhones and chargers and stuff like that. But, like, when we get ready to make a longer trip, you know, there's going to be like a bag of emergency roadside stuff shoved in the back of your Jeep. There's going to be a bag with firearms in it. There's going to be a minimal amount of like mainstay rations and water that stays on your Jeep at all times. But when we're

going farther away from home, you've been with me long enough to realize that like, there's going to be things Phil throws into the Jeep strictly because I'm going to be six to seven hours away from home. And I want to have a little bit of additional equipment just in case we get into an emergency situation. Right. Like a, um, a modified bug out bag. Yeah. I mean, not, not kind of in the same spirit the idea that like you know if um things hit the fan while we're gone you want to be ready yeah yeah i mean and also i would expect nothing less from you at this point in fact i would question if you didn't go and like gather up all your things like a squirrel gathering nuts to put in the Jeep or the truck, that something was wrong, you were out of your mind, and you forgot who you were. Yeah.

I mean, just this past weekend, you know, we were only 45 minutes, an hour away from home. And no surprise, Phil's got his night vision equipment in the back of the truck because perfect stargazing opportunity. Of course. But Phil's also got, you know, a pistol caliber carbine and six 30-round mags stashed in the back of the truck because perfect stargazing opportunity of course but phil's also got you know a pistol caliber carbine and 630 round mags stashed in the truck because we're far enough away from home that i'd like to be carrying a little bit heavier than a nine mil

in a spare magazine you know it's like it's just it's a lot of the same things we've already talked about to me it's just the idea that like if you are in the position of you're traveling farther away from home, I would highly advise you treat it as if we think we're going to be gone for three days, pack for six. Have some food, have some water, have some spare cash. I mean, that sounds like a funny thing to say in the modern age where every place you go, every podunk gas station on earth takes a debit card. where like every place you go, every podunk gas station on earth takes a debit card. But like I grew up in a time and you were young. We're both young enough to remember. I was about to say you're a year and a couple of months older than me. But yeah, we're at the age where we remember.

And you grew up in a more rural part of Louisiana where you probably remember, like there were places that were a little weird about taking out-of-state checks. You know what I'm saying? Pl places that were outside of the city limits places that were like way back in the woods i had forgotten about that dear god yeah that's true yeah and so like that was that was a time when like you if you may not be able to cash an out-of-state check you might not be able to get cash because you would have to find a bank branch that worked with your bank to give you the cash. Gillian and I grew up in a time, bearing in mind that she's 39 and I'm 41, where you had to have cash with you at all times because that was just the only way to do it. Now, carrying cash is more of a weapon of last resort. It's a standby. It's a standby.

It's a fallback. But I am still to this day shocked. Like the time we were in our local grocery store and they put up the announcement that said, hey, the phone lines are down. We can't run any debit cards. 90% of people left their buggy where it was and walked out the door. Yes. And Gillian looked at me and I said, you know, because like we were there for some stuff, but we were also going to go ahead and buy like we usually do, extra meat, extra cheese, extra butter, stuff the chest freezer, like, you know, like we're preppers or something weird.

And all I told Gillian was, I have the cash for what we need. I don't have the cash for the $100 of extra stuff we were going to buy. But we were able to get what we needed, go to the register, pay cash, and walk out the door. But it always shocks me the number of people out there that don't carry cash. And the moment the miracle of modern telecommunications goes down. They can't run a credit card and they're stuck. I am, unfortunately, and this is, you're going to be upset with me, but I don't carry cash often. And it's mainly because I don't carry a purse. Like everything I need is on my phone. So driver's license, all that stuff, it's all on my phone. You have a little, for the audience,

you have a little wallet like built into the back of your phone case. Right. Yes. I have one of those little, yeah, wallets on the back of my phone case. I don't like carrying a purse. It's just not my thing. And even my keys are on a carabiner, so I can hook it to my pants. Now, I have run into quite a few problems lately because I have started

dressing a little bit different. And so a lot of my skirts and dresses and things like that, obviously don't have pockets. So I have started carrying a purse, but I do need to start carrying cash more. I think my problem is, and this is a big problem, and I think a lot of spouses probably fall into this, I rely on you too much to be there to do those things. I know you're going to have cash. I know you're going to have a gun. I know you're going to be there to fill in those gaps. To be fair, I mean, I'm usually pretty good at filling in those gaps. I mean, I don't think there's been many times where you've looked to me and I haven't had the answer sitting in my hand.

Well, I know that. And on one hand, that's a good thing for me to be able to fall back to my husband and say, I know he's got this. He's got me. He's filling in those gaps. And then it's a bad thing because I'm spoiled rotten. Can I get that in writing? You got it recorded and it's going out. No, no, no. I need a yard sign.

I am spoiled rotten. And I know that I can fall back to you because, you know, husband, his husband's got it. There is a word for this, actually something we talk about on matter of facts very often. It's called normalcy bias. In other words, like like the the normal state of being is so persistent that our our and this isn't even you this is human beings our natural inclination is like imagine how shocked you'd be if you walked up to this to the sink right now and flip the tap and nothing came out you would have a moment where you just kind of look at it with your finger in your mouth and be like why isn't the magic water coming out of the tap? Because you're so used to it coming out, you fall into normalcy bias.

And the idea that it could ever stop is so shocking, it will cause you to hesitate. So, like, that's just a normal, that's a normal thing. But you're right, that's one of those opportunities to say, like, I know if I'm with Phil, he's probably got this but what happens if he's not i know i need to be better about it i need to find a way to be more comfortable carrying things i got something for you it's real simple what look for a small small like a a cylinder i don't know what you call them but they make them like mostly for like boating use but it's a little cylinder. You can put it on a key ring, and you unscrew the cylinder from the end that goes on the key ring. You could roll up two $20 bills and stick it in there and have it on your carabiner.

Oh, that's a good idea. I never thought of that. You're always going to have your Jeep keys on you, and now you've got $40 emergency cash. That's a really good idea. Problem solved, problem stayed solved. You're so smart. Almost like I've thought of this before. Right? Why haven't I gotten that yet? Why haven't you? You spoil me, so shouldn't you be taking care of that? Time to unspoil you. Damn. But see,

but the other thing is, is if you don't want to carry cash on your key ring, I mean like, when I first started driving, my parents made me keep, like, a $20 bill. Back when $20 was a lot of money. I remember when I was growing up and starting to date and, like, going out and things like that when I was a teenager, my mother would always tell me to put a quarter in my shoe. And that was to be able to pay phone, call home from a pay phone. Yeah. And for me, the $20 was, like, you know, back when gas was, like, $1.15, $1 from a pay phone. Yeah. And for me, the $20 was like, you know, back when

gas was like a buck 15, buck 20 a gallon. Jesus, I wish we had those days again. But like back then, you know, a $20 bill in my little Mazda that I was driving when we first, first, first met, I could top that whole thing up, drive 320 miles on 20 bucks of gas. So like the $20 in the glove box wasn't there for stupid stuff. It wasn't there to get McDonald's. It was to get home. And that's, that's what I espouse to people. Like I, I, as a general rule carry, I don't know, anywhere from 40 to a hundred bucks in cash on me most of the time with some very rare exceptions. And if I'm going on a longer trip, like you know this, I have a roll of emergency cash

that stays here at the house. You have ready access to it. It's not for going out to eat. It's not for dumb stuff. It is for, honey, we need X number, $100 of cash right here and now. Take it, go do what we have to do with it. It is for life or death emergencies, which for me is really more like a, oh, I don't know.

Like our identity's been stolen, the debit cards are shut down, we have to have gas and groceries for the next week until we get this situation solved. That's what that cash was there for. But it would be helpful for you to have a little bit in your Jeep just in case. But back to what I was saying was that when we go on a really long trip, if it's just me, I take about, I don't know, a third of that with me. And if we're going, if the three of us are going several hours away, I take it all. I take it all. I put a rubber band around it, stick it in the center console of the truck, and I know I've got cash to replace a tire.

I've got cash to get towed off the side of the road. I have cash to grease the wheels to make things happen. Right. But I espouse to everybody, have that stash of emergency cash if you're traveling, even though your debit card is your primary and it will probably get you out of trouble. But just in case, keep a good eye on your gas gauge. Most people are fortunate enough to be driving vehicles with very reliable gas gauges. Some of us, our gas gauges lie to us. And if it lies in one direction, then you just top off way too often. And if it lies in the other direction, you wind up conked out on the side of the road.

way too often. And if it lies in the other direction, you wind up conked out on the side of the road. So what I tell people is, and you may have seen me do this, like whenever I fill up, I reset my trip A, my trip odometer. I've got two of them in the truck. I reset trip A every time I fill up. I know that depending on how many miles per gallon I'm getting, I'm good for three to 400 miles on a tank of fuel. So let's say at some point I've been driving for a while and that gas needle is still sitting right on full, but I've gone two hundred miles, I know there's something wrong. It's just a double check for you to have another way to verify, to kind of correlate where my gas needle should be so that if your gas gauge sticks and it's not telling you you're running out of fuel, your mileage can

double that just to stop you from getting stuck on the side of the road. Check your tire pressures, check your oil, check all your cooling levels. If you don't know how to check your fluids, like most small mechanic shops, like the little mom and pop ones in your town, if you go to them and say, hey, I will pay you to do a vehicle inspection. I want you to show me what you're checking. Most of the smaller ones would be happy to show you that. And it's good. It's a cheap way to get a walk around in your vehicle to learn what a mechanic is looking for and to learn what you should be checking before you get out on the road. You probably don't realize this, but every time we take the Jeep someplace, I'm usually out in the front yard popping your hood, checking everything.

No, I do realize that. That's another thing that I've come to rely on you for. I know that if I'm going out of town for a girl's trip or if we're using the Jeep for something else, I know that if once I leave here, my husband has checked everything on that truck possible, the Jeep possible. I know that. And I know that I can Jeep possible. I know that. And I know that I can do it. I know how to check my oil. I know how to check my tire pressure.

You know how to change a flat on the side of the road. I know how to change a flat. I know how to do all those things. I've just been spoiled. Well, but you're probably also one of the few, according to a story I've heard, you might be one of the few of your coworkers that knows how to properly jump a vehicle without burning it to the ground. What stories have you heard? The one you told me about how somebody was trying to reverse the battery cables and was

making a spark show. Oh, that was years ago. Yeah. Years and years ago. Yeah. It was like, hang on a second. It's red to red, black to black. Let's go back and look at this, guys, before you blow your engine.

Yeah. I mean, like I said, to me, like, if I have to sit here and beat on y'all about emergency roadside stuff and how to plan ahead, I don't know. I feel like we missed some steps. But the other thing I'm notorious for, and I swear to God, this woman next to me might deny it, but I have heard her do it. But we've been, like, going for an overnight trip, and she's seen me pack for three days. Okay, sir. First off, I am a woman. I am always going to pack for days longer than what we are going for.

days longer than what we are going for. Mainly because sometimes a visitor will come unannounced in the middle of a trip. And so you might need an extra pair of underwear and pants or whatever. So why is it weird when I do it? It's not. I've never said it was weird. I think you just look for things. I think you just look for things. I've never thought it was weird, especially coming from a woman who has always done that. I always pack extra for Piper too. Yep. What else you got to say, big boy?

Well, I'm pretty sure on this camping trip, I told Piper, I'm like, pack extra socks and extra underwear. Always, always, always.

I mean, right now we're trying to teach her how to pack for herself because eventually she's going to have to do that. But, you know, it's always good to go behind her at, you know, an 11-year-old and make sure she actually did pack socks and underwear because sometimes, I mean, they're kids. She's a kid. She doesn't quite understand that. She's a kid. She doesn't quite understand that. But when we came home, I put two days' worth of clothes back in the dresser because I'm not stupid.

I mean, I'm even thinking about things like, well, what if I fall into the lake? Or, you know, if we're on a hike or whatever, what if I fall into a little creek? Or what happens if I step in poop? I don't know. I'm just thinking. What happens if a bird poops on me well my perspective is heavily colored by the fact that when i was in basic training i walked way too many miles in wet socks and i paid for it dearly with a case of trench foot so like ever since then i've been very i've been very averse to letting my socks get wet and then continuing to push

through it. I've been very much focused on like, I will turn the same pair of pants inside out three times and wear it for a week. If I have to, I don't give a damn, but I will not run out of dry socks or dry undershirts underwear. I can live without for a while,

but like you need the things that are there to prevent chafing. You need the things that are there to prevent chafing you need the things that are there to keep you dry and maintain your body like that's i guess just uh yeah i mean yeah we were packing for a camping trip but i say the same thing what happens if you're out of town and lo and behold you decide to stay an extra day or something pops up you have a family emergency and you can't leave when you were expecting to now you've got nothing wear, so you either have to run around and do laundry, or you have to go buy stuff. It's like the simple solution here is to just plan for things to go wrong. And I think that is the best thing I can tell you about getting ready for the holidays,

whether it's Thanksgiving or Christmas or anything else. Plan for stuff to go wrong. Because when you do that, you plan to insulate yourself from stuff going wrong. And it doesn't spoil the holiday. Like, what have I been doing since 3.30 when I punched out? I've been running around like, you know, fly to the bumblebee, roasting coffee and doing this and doing that, trying to take care of stuff because I don't want to get to Wednesday afternoon and be freaking out trying to get stuff done. I don't want to get to Wednesday afternoon and I'm killing myself for

five, six hours in the kitchen. I want to start this stuff now. So by the time we get to Thursday morning, we got one errand to go pick up the turkey and then we just sit here and put our feet up and get fat and be happy. Yeah. But know. But you don't get there by expecting things to go perfectly. Because when the first time they do, I will personally fall over from fright. Okay. So we've beat the how to prep for the holidays topic to death. Now, what did you want to talk about on behalf of the Raising Values podcast? I think, I mean, it just fits in with the holiday of being thankful.

Of course, everyone is doing these reflections of what are you thankful for? All of the kids in school are writing these little things. I'm thankful for my mom. I'm thankful for my dad. I'm thankful for blah, blah, blah. And I think those are all great. I think it's great to teach our kids to be thankful for the things that they have, even though they probably don't realize that most kids around the world don't have the things that they have.

But there's just I think because our priorities have changed so much in the last year to two years, I don't think it would be any surprise to anyone that I said that I'm thankful for our health and I'm thankful for the changes that we've made in our health. But here's the thing with me, and I think I've probably said this on the Raising Values podcast a couple of times, maybe not, but, and it's going to take a second to kind of explain this. When I was growing up, I was raised Baptist, right? And at least for me and the churches that I went to, we were taught that there were certain ways to pray. And then if you didn't pray those certain ways, then God didn't hear you. And so when I was in youth at that point, I was probably in sixth, seventh, maybe eighth grade. I can't remember exactly. Um, I had gone to Sunday

school and we had a new Sunday school teacher and she wasn't my favorite person in the world. She was one of my mom's friends. Um, she was nice, but she was also grumpy, crabby, old. And she was nice, but she was also grumpy, crabby, old. She wasn't old, but she was just, she wasn't the nicest person. And for whatever reason that day, she had decided that she was going to teach all of us kids to pray properly. And what she said was that if you don't ask for forgiveness at the beginning of your prayer, like, you know, I was always taught open your prayers with, um, well, when I was a baby, like kid, baby, little girl, it was dear Jesus, you know? So you started your prayers with dear Jesus, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah. Well, now once I had gotten to a certain age and was praying and, um, being taught and it was just, it was just kind of hammered into you that, yes, you still open with dear Jesus or heavenly father, or however you, you addressed God first. And then you were supposed to ask for forgiveness. Well, I wasn't taught that. And what she said to me was, well, if you don't ask for forgiveness first, then God won't hear your prayers. He won't hear your concerns. He won't hear these things. And so here I was, it took me, I focused on that for probably a good week and stressed about it because now here I am seventh or eighth grade thinking God's never heard my prayers because I'd never started off with, you know, asking for forgiveness of my sins. And, um, and I remember crying at one point thinking I'm lost like this,

these prayers haven't happened anyway. Come to find out, of course, that that's not how things work. And your personal relationship with God is your own personal relationship and he hears you no matter what. But I, what I started to do because I, there are, and I still do this. I did this last night. I will lay in bed and I just get so, I get so thankful and I start to feel all warm and cozy. And I get so thankful because we have a house and we have a comfortable bed. And I have a nice, warm, spoil-me-rotten husband next to me and a beautiful daughter in the next room and cars and jobs. And then I just start thanking him for all these things. I start going down the list. I thank him for family.

I thank him for friends. I call out people's names. I pray for those people. him for family. I thank him for friends. I call out people's names. I pray for those people. And you know, I just think, I thank him for some of the most menial things that my husband, like I'm sitting here in your office, my husband has a computer in front of him to do his job, to pay for the mortgage, to keep a house over our head and food in our bellies kind of thing. And so I, I had, I feel like I had to tell you that story because it's like when I say what I'm thankful for, I am constantly thanking God for things that I'm thankful for. And sometimes it's just the most menial, like you don't even think about it stuff, like running water.

Like I will thank God for running water. I will thank God for the cup to drink the water from. Like I will thank God for running water. I will thank God for the cup to drink the water from. I will thank God for all those things because I've seen what it's like to not have those things. I haven't necessarily experienced a lot of those things. Like I've never experienced homelessness or anything like that. But I've experienced hard times enough to know that you and I and Piper live a very comfortable, blessed life, very blessed life.

And our child is being raised in a household where generational curses have been broken. And we have decided together as parents that we aren't going to do certain things that we saw our parents and our grandparents. And I mean, no offense to any of them. It worked for them. And it's what they knew to do when they were raising us. And it's just things that, you know, we decided as a couple to not do with our child. To do things differently. Yeah.

And so I'm thankful for those things. I'm thankful that we raise our child in a calm, at least from my point of view, my perspective and the way that the household that I was raised in, a calm, non-screaming, non-fighting household where everyone gets along and we all respect each other. Even though she's an 11 year old, we still respect the fact that she's a human being and she has the right to do certain things and she has the right to feel certain ways, you know, and just because she's a kid doesn't mean that she has to be seen and not heard. Like she has a voice in this family and, you know, I'm just thankful for the life that

you and I have created. And that encompasses so much. And it would take probably four or five episodes of me going through a list of things that I'm thankful for, simply because of the story that I just told, I will fall asleep, praying to God and thanking him for the smallest of things, you know, to have, of having a front yard to sit in a chair and read my book and having a car that is beautiful and has leather seats. You know, it's just something that people probably don't thank God for, but I'm just so thankful for the life that we have created. I think we've come a long way. We were on our trip over this weekend or I think it, yeah, we were sitting around the bonfire because, yay, the burn ban was lifted.

And we were sitting around the campfire and we were talking about how long we had been together. And your sister asked a very good question. And I was so glad that she asked it. And it was, we were trying to, we were arguing back, you and I were arguing, bickering back and forth about how long we had been together. And you have always made the statement that I count from November, which is this month. 2004. Of 2004. And you count from February of 2005 when we made it official

boyfriend, girlfriend. Titles were exchanged. Titles were exchanged. Questions were asked, count from February of 2005 when we made it official boyfriend girlfriend um titles were exchanged titles were exchanged questions were asked do you want to go with me jack yes or no god I heard you sing that in my head did you know it was coming I kind of suspected that old country song was going to rear its head let me want me to sing the whole thing? No. Okay. Save it for the Christmas special. She had asked the question of, now I can't even remember how she put it. She asked, when did we consider ourselves to be exclusive? Like there was no, there was nobody else that was it. And at that moment I was forced to be like, okay, that was November. Yeah. I mean, you know, cause by that point before I'd even like okay that was November yeah I mean you know because by that

point before I'd even like laid eyes on you I learned enough about you to be like this is a really special girl and Gillian knows like I had been burned by so many women I dated over the years that before I met her like I honestly I'd become very jaded. Maybe it's the right word. I was, I was at a point emotionally where I was, it's not even like I was okay with, I was emotionally at peace with being a bachelor for the rest of my life. I did not want to get married. I did not want kids. I didn't want, I didn't want to deal with it anymore. I was tired of being fooled around with, I was tired of being lied to. I was tired of games. I just, all I wanted was a woman who was just going to be honest with me,

like help me achieve my goals. Let me help you achieve your goals. Let's work together. Let's be a team. That's all I really wanted. Like, you know, really high minded. When I say like that, it almost sounds silly, but like, it's very stereotypical. Like what I was brought up to believe marriage was supposed to be. And I wasn't meeting a lot of marriage material in the dating pool. Right. And I've seen the meme go on Instagram where people say like people that people born in 1980 something.

Do you feel like you got, you were the, you got out on the last chat chopper leaving Saigon before the Vietnam war. Oh, for dating. Yes. And I, I feel that. I do too. I saw

that and I was like, holy crap. Yeah. That's, that chopper was leaving. Yeah. But I feel that because like I look at, and this is going to lead into what I'm thankful for, which is going to sound weird, but stick with me on it. But like, I am eternally grateful that I met you when I did, because I feel like if you and I had passed each other up, I wouldn't, we, I wouldn't be here. Yeah.

I wouldn't be married. I wouldn't have a child. I wouldn't have the life I have now. I would have found happiness somewhere. I would have poured myself into a job and hobbies. I'd have done something with myself. I mean, yeah.

And I wasn't, I wasn't going to just like sit around and be a bump on a log, but I was certainly not going to become a family man because I wasn't going to just like sit around and be a bump on a log, but I was certainly not going to become a family man because I had found everything I wasn't looking for. And then when I met you, I found what I was looking you that it is, in fact, November, and I've been right this whole time, that it is 19 years that we've been together. Right about this time of year, time of the month. Yeah, because I can remember going home that Thanksgiving. We had been talking for about, I don't know, maybe two, three weeks. I printed your picture off.

It's been longer than that. Maybe it was maybe it was july was when i went back to iraq and from leave and it wasn't long after that that i think maybe it was like september october i don't know i'd have to go back because i did save all of our conversations but anyway i printed your picture off and i went home for thanksgiving and i told my sisters and i've told i've no i've said this story a thousand times, I showed your picture to my sisters. And I said, this is the guy I'm going to marry. And they both laughed at me. And they were like, whatever, Gillian, you are, God, you are so ridiculous. And then I

remember telling my dad, dad, see this man, I'm going to marry him. And he was like, cool. Have you met him? What's he like? And I was like, well, I haven't met him yet him and he was like cool have you met him who what's he like and i was like well i haven't met him yet but he's like okay gillian whatever you think babe so yes it was this time whatever 19 years ago that i went home and showed everybody your picture and was like i'm gonna marry this guy and they didn't believe me And I'm sure a lot of them have lost a lot of bets about how long we were going to be together. I want to know who had the longest bet and what the pool was up to, because I think we're entitled to that money at this point. I do, too.

I agree. Nobody fesses up to it, though, but I know there were bets taken for how long we were going to stay married. Yeah. Anyway, so now let's talk about what are you thankful for? This is going to sound odd. I'm thankful for everything we don't have. Oh. So now here, let me walk through this.

Like, you know, I've been to parts of the world and for Hurricane Katrina, I mean, I was down in New Orleans. Like, I have seen people have to live without running water, without power. I've seen people have to live without a functioning society around them where, you know, there was looting and there was gunfire and there were no police and there was no ambulances and no government, no law, no rule of law. I've seen that in New Orleans and I've seen that overseas. of law. I've seen that in New Orleans and I've seen that overseas. I've seen a part of the world where if every member of a family got to eat one particular night, that was a blessing. I've seen places in the world where poor people don't get obese because they're eating junk food. They die because they don't eat. I've been to parts of the world where people drink from the wrong stream and it kills them. Mm-hmm.

And I am eternally grateful for the incredible, almost, in my opinion, bear in mind that we're middle class, upper middle class. But we've been through times where we had to watch dollars and we were $5 in our checking account, eating expired pork chops and peanut butter and jelly. And even then, when we were at our lowest, when our money was at its tightest, even right before I got the job I have now, where we've been livid out of my savings and off of what you were making, I was between jobs. We were paying the mortgage out of my savings account. Even when we have been at our lowest, we have still been so much more blessed than some of the poor people I've seen in my life. Yeah. That Christmas, your birthday even, we didn't do without. Things still got done. Things still got taken care of.

We were still able to celebrate. done. Things still got taken care of. We were still able to celebrate. We have never been, at least to what I would consider to be destitute. And bearing in mind that my definition of destitute is probably a few orders of magnitude lower than most people's. So I am eternally grateful for the comfort in the life we have because it's not what I've seen other people have to live with. I am thankful for the fact that every time we put the key in the ignition of our vehicles, we don't wonder if we're going to get across town without them breaking down. Yeah. I'm eternally grateful for the fact that I don't have to wonder, am I going to pay the electric bill or buy groceries tomorrow?

I'm thankful for all those things. I'm thankful for the life we have. I'm thankful that some of the people that I know who even right now are struggling with, you know, illness in their families, struggling with terminal illness, a lot of people that are hurting, a lot of people that are scared, we don't have that on our plate right now. And I'm thankful for that. But probably most of all, like I am eternally thankful for the fact that I know couples that are struggling through their marriages. I know couples that are wrestling with very serious questions about like, how do we make this work? And how do we, you know, how do we work through these

problems? What's the right thing to do to work through these problems? What resources do we need? And I'm eternally thankful that quite a long time ago, you and I sat down and faced a lot of those demons down together. And we knit a marriage together that was so much stronger than the one we started with. It's it I don't think it's been challenged since i don't think it ever will be challenged i don't yeah i agree with you i think because i know what time you're thinking of is and that's the one time we've ever said divorce to each other and we had been married for what five six years at that point and we had married in 08 that would have been that was about 2015 either way so seven years okay so we had been married for seven years yeah that's right i

remember saying something about seven years to my mom um and i agree with you. I, I think once we got through that, it took about a year and a half, maybe two years to work through everything that was going on with me personally, and then us together and you personally. And I, yeah, our marriage has been, I am thankful for this, the, the, um, strength of our marriage since then. And it's only gotten better. It's only gotten better and stronger. And I think we had to hit rock bottom to really see who each other were and how each of us had changed from the time we started dating to the time we got married to the time that we had even uttered that word and it was the only time we've ever said that word and it was only

said once and you know but but for the listeners like because we were talking about this just the other day like when when i said the words to you divorce it wasn't it wasn't an ultimatum it wasn't an ultimatum. It wasn't a do this or we're getting a divorce. I literally asked you, do you want a divorce? Do you want to fight for this or are you finished? Because I told you then what I've told a few people in my life since, and I mean, you know I mean every syllable of it. If you want to fight, I will stand by your side. We will fight until we both go down with the ship. No second thoughts, no holds barred. Everything I've got, I'm all in.

It's the only way I know to do things. If I'm in, I'm in all the way. And if I'm not in all the way, I want nothing to do with this. I'm finished. So I was literally just asking you, do you want to fight for this marriage? And if the answer is yes, I'm here for it. Let's go to work. And if the answer is no, let's start doing the paperwork and figure out how to deal with this. I wasn't, what I did not want at that point, what I was not prepared to tolerate for two reasons, honestly. I was not prepared to tolerate a broken marriage

in perpetuity, where we weren't happy, we weren't working together as a couple, we weren't functioning as a married couple, and that was just going to prolong itself. First of all, for me, because I, you know that, like, it was super important to me when we got married that, like, I am prepared to fight for the marriage I want. I'm prepared to work for it. I'm prepared to sacrifice for it. I will do whatever it takes. But I know what I want this marriage to be.

And that's what I want. That's what I entered into this for. And the other reason was because of her. Because she had already been born because yeah i i was not prepared to allow myself or my child to suffer through a broken marriage i was prepared to allow her to grow up watching mom and dad don't like each other and don't you know aren't don't act like a married couple and then she grows up with that example to mirror and then we start a new generational curse like that was my whole perspective and the minute she told me i want to fight for it i was in a hundred percent

i didn't care how much pain it cost me i didn't care how many sleepless nights i didn't i did not care it was the same way i was when piiper was first born and you needed me to step up and help take care of her because you just weren't in a place to do it. I was in all 100%. That will always be my way. But I'm thankful that we took up that fight and we won. Yeah. And now we have the marriage and we have the family that I feel like we both always wanted. And it was, I tell everybody to this day, it was a ton of hard work. It was a lot of tears.

It was a lot of tears and a lot of fighting, bickering back and forth. And I, but there, then during that time, as I say, there was a lot of fighting. We also learned how to fight fair and it has just gotten better over the years we don't fight often but now we started fighting fair and we started fighting in private yeah i will admit the one thing that's still very difficult for me as far as fighting fair is just like because you know that my default position is i don't want to fight. Right. I don't either, as much as you don't believe that. I don't like to fight with you. Yeah. But then there are times when, you know, the fight just has to happen.

And I'm still very, and oddly enough, I'm only like this with you. I'm still very hesitant to pick a fight with you. Anybody else in the world, I will, like like tee up in their front yard, ready for war, drop the hat, just piss me off and watch what happens next. But with my wife, that is the one person that I'm like, I really don't want to pick this fight. I just don't want her to be upset. But that's, that's all, those are all the things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful because I know people that are struggling with all manner of things, whether it's like things in their personal life, things in their financial life, people in their marriages or

their kids or, you know, yeah. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't, anybody that's out there listening to this, you know who you are right now. I mean, it's the 20th of November and I was talking to some of y'all just a couple hours ago and I pray for those people. I pray for peace and comfort. I pay for God to intercede and whatever's, you know, whatever's eating at them. But it's also moments like that where I think to myself, I'm like, Jesus, I'm so thankful that we don't have that. I'm thankful that the biggest, I'm thankful that the biggest worry I have right now is editing this podcast and posting it so I can go make sausage balls. But I think you need to rephrase that. I'm thankful we've dealt with that and gotten past that because there's a lot of, even financial, there's been times where we've had financial struggles and it's not, you know, it wasn't because we were making poor decisions,

although that's debatable with you sometimes because of me. Oh, like you would debate that with me. What, what poor financial decisions did I make? No, Phil never makes poor financial decisions. I, I, I, I will be the first to take, take it, take my lumps. I, there was a time when I, I racked up a little bit of a balance on a credit card and this was before my newfound like severe aversion and me being almost allergic to interest bearing debt. Before you start going down that road, let's kind of come back from those drunk bumps. Thanks, babe. Take me away from the shoulder. I think you should rephrase what you just said as to you're thankful that we've overcome overcome those things because i mean we've we've gone through everything

that most well we've gone through most everything um that married couples go through. We've just come out on the other end stronger and knowing each other better. And knowing what each other wants out of a marriage and out of a family. And we've just become, you know, at one point somebody told me, you can't be best friends with your spouse. Oh, Lord. you can't be best friends with your spouse. Oh, Lord. And it kind of just hit me like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, because your spouse should be your best friend. Like, I have three very good best friends that I will do and say and, you know, whatever, like,

ride or die, those are my friends. but they will never. And they know this, they will never compare to my husband as my best friend. My best, best friend is my husband. And when he said that to me, I was just like, wait, so your spouse, isn't your best friend. How does that work? Like you have, he, what? Yeah. So, um, I don't know. I just, i don't know i just i don't know where i was going with that but yeah anyway i think our thankful things we're thankful for are on the same lines you you were saying you were saying what we don't have and i was like where's he gonna go with this and it actually doesn't make sense though it does make sense but it ended up in the same place that i had ended as well. Yeah.

Being thankful for the same things. I guess from my perspective, like, I've seen people live through a lot of calamity. And that makes me very grateful for the relative peace and comfort that we've been able to create. Yeah. And been blessed with you know we've had our fair share of heartache and um struggles and i'm trying to think of the other word i have i have an actual thing in my head that i'm trying to um let me give you like loss and we've been through our fair share of just turmoil turmoil but that's not the word i want to use but anyway and it's not drama but we've been through our fair share of negative things bombarding our family and our marriage and we always seem to turn to each other to get through it you know it's almost like it's

second nature kind of thing like of course i'm going to turn to my husband. Of course, I'm going to seek peace with my husband. I'm going to seek that refuge and that, you know, even if I just need to scream and cry into his shoulder kind of thing, I know that I'm safe. I'm looking for that safety from you. And I think that's something that a lot of couples don't have but um anyway that that probably doesn't have a lot to do with the thankfulness of the episode of raising values but we'll take it though but i will just say that like as far as turning to your spouse like i told somebody very recently because they uh love this person death but they they made what i consider to be a moderately boneheaded statement and said they didn't want their burden to be their spouse's burden, which I corrected them and said, but there's literally nothing that can go on with you that isn't your spouse's burden. There's nothing that can go on with them that's your burden. Like, that's how it works. We where one plus one equals three. Well, marriage is one of those rare moments in reality where one plus one does equal three. Because when the right two people come together, they are stronger than they were by themselves. Yeah.

So if you're in that kind of relationship, guys, it is an eternal blessing. It's a blessing that creates other blessings. If you're not, you're either single and you're looking and best I can tell you is there is no expiration date on finding love. So just be patient, have some standards. And if you're in that relationship. Keep your standards, please. Keep your standards. And if you're in that marriage that needs a little bit of work, look, I'm a big fan of couples counseling. I think. We both are.

Yeah. We've both been through couples counseling. We've both been through. Individual counseling. Individual counseling. We are big, big proponents for. Is that the right word? Proponents.

Proponents, yes. For therapy and counseling and getting a third party involved. Your adoptive son would approve. I'm sure he's listening. Yes. Yes. I know he would, but yeah, definitely. And there's no shame in that at all. Some of my best moments of maturing and my thought processes have come out of counseling sessions. Now, some of my counselors when I was a child were kooky bananas, but my therapists as adults, as an adult, have been so worth it. And our couples counseling together was the most eye-opening experience of myself that I have ever had, even with my own individual

counselors, because now it wasn't just about me. It was my actions that were going to affect another person that I cared deeply for. So, and, and you know what? It's so crazy. You know, we started off by saying we've been together 19 years. We've, well, dating and then whatever, married, but we started counseling before we got married. We started couples counseling before we got married. And actually it was a year into being just dating. We had just gotten engaged that we started couples counseling. And I think we did it for what, six to eight months. Um, but I, yeah, I, I think we still draw on some of those things we learned in counseling 18 years ago. And we still refer to some of the things, the books that we've read and, you know.

The love languages. Yeah. And a lot of that has changed and some, you know, different books and things have come out. But anyway, this wasn't supposed to go down the road of marriage counseling and all that stuff. But yes, I, I, I am 100% behind, you know, if you need help in your relationship, even if you're just dating or maybe it's with your child or if it's some sort of just any relationship, or maybe it's just a relationship with yourself, definitely seek out help for that because nothing bad can come from it. Um, sure, some of it is going to be painful, especially when you have to

go through and talk about those hard things that you're thinking and feeling and things that you've gone through. But God, the light at the other end is so bright and it's just going to help in so many areas of your life. So anyway, off my soap box for mental health, um, because I am, I am one of the biggest, biggest advocates for mental health, especially in my family. So anyway, um, I think that's a really good place to wrap up this episode and, uh, of raising values. And then of course, with matter of facts, of course,

we talked longer for a raising values episode. But I think I also just want to say, you know, I really appreciate everyone who does tune in and listen on Sundays. I think Phil and I need to have a discussion on maybe time changing it or whatever and looking at a new time to do it. discussion on maybe time changing it or whatever, and looking at a new time to do it. But whenever I post or don't post or forget a little, you know, a couple hours later, oh, hey, sorry, we didn't come on, you know, we didn't go on live today or whatever. You know, just I appreciate and I'm thankful for our listeners and the family that we have found, our chosen family through raising values and through Matter of Facts. You know, I look forward to those camping trips with our chosen family of preppers and the people that are like-minded. And I think that the podcasts, both of them, have brought on such a positive influence in our life.

And the people that we have chosen to surround ourselves with and surround our daughter with are just some of the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. And I just want to, you know, I think that as cliche as it sounds, we have to be thankful for, you know, at least express how thankful we are for you guys and that you continue to come around and you continue to support us and, you know, find us interesting after all these years. Because not much has changed with us. We're our own people that just come into our house and would like to just live and not people for the day. people for the day. And so we don't go through and change a lot, but definitely thankful for you guys and all the support that you show me, Phil, and Andrew, and that you're always there to, you know, make us feel good about what we're doing.

Also, I have to say, I'm thankful for those 32 individuals that financially helped shoulder the load for the podcast oh yeah patrons for sure call it what it is the the bandwidth the website the streaming service every like i i have offered to show you and andrew the quote-unquote the books because i do run the business aspect of the podcast to keep it solvent no one's ever taken me up on that because accounting accounting is black magic and no one wants to do it me least of all but i know how to so i do but like you know the podcast costs money to operate and the patrons do make this to where i can run the show without having to beg for beg for money from sponsors or cut backroom deals with other companies to give us money to operate

and shill their nonsense for them. And I don't have to dip into my own pocket to the tune of, you know, like $1,500, $1,600 a year. Yeah. Which I've done in the past. The first year I ran this podcast, I ran it at a loss. The second year, I ran it at another loss.

At the end of the second year, it finally broke even. But I'm thankful for the patrons that chip in that little bit of money every month because it takes the pressure off of us to be able to produce a show and share this with y'all in such a way that it's not becoming something I don't want it to be. We get to just do the show the way we want to do it. Yeah. And we don't have to start chasing dollars, which I absolutely never want to have to do for this podcast. Well, and it also sets us up to provide, not provide, that's not the right word because everybody pays for their own,

but the patron camping trip, you know, that's part of it. the patron camping trip, you know, is that's part of it. And like I said, it's just, it's so much has come from just doing this podcast and these, the listeners that you and Andrew, you and Andrew paved the way for me. And I've only been doing this for six months now, but our seven months, but I don't, yeah, we're just totally thankful for our patrons and our listeners. Yeah. Well, I guess we'll wrap that up. I've't, yeah, we're just totally thankful for our patrons and our listeners. Yeah.

So, yeah. Well, I guess we'll wrap that up. I've got, uh. You have sausage balls to make, laundry to do, toilets to clean, floors to wash. Cinderella, Cinderella. He's so, so put upon. I am. Abused, underappreciated, and underpaid.

Oh, poor baby. Poor, poor baby. Send help for Phil. He needs help. Anyway, we hope you have. I don't know. When is this episode going out? I guess I'll punch it out.

Tomorrow's raising values. Tomorrow's raising values. I was kind of thinking I'd do it Wednesday. That way maybe everybody will have it in pocket for Thanksgiving Day. Sure. So anyway, we will be back behind the mic live on Sunday for Raising Values. That's the game plan for right now. And I'll circle back around to Andrew after the holidays when hopefully I can Shanghai him away from, you know, his job and his family and the life that

he lives. Well, he has a life. Yeah. And I'm here for you, Andrew. Look, I never, I never, he's such a slave driver. Anytime he tells me, Hey dude, I'm sorry. I'm jammed up. I'm cool with that. I mean, I get it. He's got responsibilities. He's an adult, but I do miss him. I do too. responsibilities he's an adult he does but i do miss him i do too yeah all right guys well we will see you later on raising values and i know that this is a joined effort for a matter of facts without our dear friend andrew but um shoot him a message and tell him happy thanksgiving and so yeah we'll see you later whenever that is on either podcast yep be careful take care of each other happy thanksgiving happy thanksgiving see you later whenever that is on either podcast yep be careful take care of each other happy thanksgiving happy thanksgiving see you on the week bye everybody bye