The Prepper Broadcasting Network - Raising Values: Is Gillian a "Trad Wife"?

Episode Date: February 11, 2024

https://www.facebook.com/RaisingValuesPodcast/www.pbnfamily.comhttps://www.instagram.com/raisingvaluespodcast/http://www.mofpodcast.com/www.prepperbroadcasting.comhttps://rumble.com/user/Mofpodcastwww.youtube.com/user/philrabWomen Who Prep Conference: Come See GillianSupport the showMerch at: https://southerngalscrafts.myshopify.com/Shop at Amazon: http://amzn.to/2ora9riPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/mofpodcast“Trad Life” means many things to many people. To some, that meanswife stays home, husband works. To some, it has conotations of the wife being subservient to the husband. Phil and Gillian sit down to talk about what Traditional means to them, and what they see as some common misconceptions around the term.Raising Values Podcast is live-streaming our podcast on YouTube channel, Facebook page, and Rumble. See the links above, join in the live chat, and see the faces behind the voices.family, traditional, values, christian, marriage, dating, relationship, children, growing up, peace, wisdom, self improvement, masculinity, feminity, masculine, feminine

Welcome to the Raising Values Podcast, where the traditional family talks. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Spotify, and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can support the Raising Values Podcast through Patreon. Phil and Gillian are behind the mic, and we hope you enjoy the show. welcome back to raising values good morning yay i'm a trad wife or am i a trad wife i don't know phil had this conversation well this idea a couple of weeks ago but um no it was this week It was this week. It was this week, but we've talked about it. We've talked about it in the past, especially as things continue to show up on your Instagram feed and all that stuff.

But before we get to the show, I do want to kind of get some notes out of the way. The Women Who Prep Conference is coming up, and I know I've been talking about this a lot, but I am really excited about it. And there's been a little change to my session. This guy here is going to join me for that. And so we're going to be discussing kids and prepping and how to get your kids involved with prepping and being a part of that lifestyle. And you should know by now, if you are a follower of this podcast or Boundary Facts, that we are preppers. So the Women Who Prep Conference is April 20th through the 23rd. I have an affiliate link. It is in the show notes. No,

it's not in the show notes. Okay. So the problem is because of the way all these different platforms handle hyperlinks, like if you're listening to this in audio on our audio-only podcast, it is in the show notes. Okay. However, on YouTube and on Rumble and it looks like several other platforms, they don't play very nice with hyperlinks, at least not the way I tried to do them. So in that case, I think going to Gillian's Link link tree, which is pinned to the top of your Facebook page. Yeah. So on my Facebook and Instagram pages under Raising Values Podcast, go to the link tree. It has all of the links for everything, including tickets to the conference. And so you can purchase through that link. I do get a little, you know, a nice little payday. A little vacation fund. It's not much, but it does help to kind of spread the word and everything. So if you like me and you want to go to the conference, which is online, so you don't even have to go anywhere, you don't have to leave your

house or anything like that, and you sign up and you can, anyway, you click on the link and you can get tickets for that. There's going to be over 15 speakers. And it grows all the time. So there's all sorts of things that are going on. It's not just for women. Men can also participate. There's giveaways and prizes and all that fun stuff that you usually see at a conference. And there was one more thing that, oh, not only will Phil and I be doing a recorded session on kids who, prepping with kids, I will also be a part of the discussion panel.

And I'm not really sure where that lines up in the whole conference yet. So I'll be a part. I'll be joining other women in a live discussion. No, well, I don't know if it's going to be a live Q&A session. But anyway, it's a discussion panel, and then I think we're going to open it up to live Q&A. So anyway, so that's there. But once you register, you'll get all that information. So Women Who Prep Conference online event, April 20th through the 23rd.

I always get these dates wrong. I always want to say something else. April 20th through the 23rd. So Linktree on Instagram and Facebook. That's it. Now we can discuss whether or not I'm a trad wife. Yeah. So this kind of, well, first of all, this came about because like, you know, now admittedly, I try to limit my social media intake because I think that

like all forms of social media are basically digital brain cancer in the making. But I saw this thing come across and it was kind of a, it was one of those little wifely pokes at husbands about, you know, if your husband expects you to cook for him and do his laundry and clean his house, you don't have, you have one more child than you think you have. Like, you know, you're you're you're treating your husband like a child if you do anything for him, for his benefit, which I kind of it got my gears turning about like, you know, like this is where we are as a society where what was once what was once understood to to not be an act of subservience, but an act of like, you know, like affection through action is now being derided to the point where women are being shamed for taking care of their husbands and their families. Like, and I, that again, and I feel like this, this crashes into this whole, this, this kind of new social media trend of the trad wives, because every time you see one of these women who espouses this idea of like i'm a stay-at-home mom i homeschool my kids i take care of the house a lot of them are

homesteaders as you know as a result husband works he comes home i take care of him and there are always always always lesions of angry bitter women and, you know, angry feminists in the comments who want nothing more than to see this trend go away. So that's, I feel like that's where we're at is, and you were the one that actually said, am I a trad wife? And I was like, opinions would be mixed because you do work. We do split the housework. Like in some ways, you are not a

traditional wife. We are not that traditional household, but in a lot of ways we are. Yeah, I do feel like we are more traditional than a lot of households. You had given me the option when Piper was born, do I want to go back to work or do I want to stay home? And to be completely honest, I took the easy way out and went back to work. I didn't stay home. And I know, I mean, I was home for three months with her, which is nothing compared to full-time stay-at-home moms and people who, you know, the women who stay home and keep the house and all that stuff. and people who, you know, the women who stay home and keep the house and all that stuff.

I, when I thought about doing that, it scared the hell out of me. And I didn't want to do that. I really feel like I took the easy way out and went back to work. And that was something, I don't think I could ever be a stay-at-home mom. And I believe that all the jobs that I've had since Piper has been born has always, it will not, you know, hands down will be easier than the job of a woman who stays home with her kids constant. I mean, it's selfless and it is a 24 hour, seven day a week. There are no breaks.

You know, you don't get time off. There is no 30 minute lunch break or anything like that. You don't get to punch the time clock at five and be like, feed yourselves, kids. So, yeah, I took the easy way out and went back to work. And I truly believe that. Yeah. And I guess the funny juxtaposition for me is that like, hey, Stuart, you're just a little bit late, but you made it. And hey, garden girl, we're reading your comments while we're putting our thoughts together. But like, I guess from my perspective, like, because, you know, when Piper was born, we were in that weird situation where like I was in the process of getting laid off. Yeah. So there was a period of time when you went back to work, I was still job hunting and I, I was home with her all the time. And I guess from my perspective, like the only stress I had was the stress of, I need to get back to work. I need to provide, because when my, when my income went away, that was 60 better, a little better than 60% of our income evaporated overnight. Yeah. It was, it was crippling. But as far as like keeping up the house where taking care of her and everything, that was never stressed to me.

Like even when she was crying, I'm like, okay, I just have to figure out what you want and then you'll be okay. Yeah. But see, and like we've talked about in past episodes, her crying was also an anxiety or panic attack for me. Like just the sound of her crying sent me over the edge. And so when I decided, no, and it wasn't an easy decision because there were so many times once she was born that I felt like I was not a good mom. I was not a good wife. I was not a good wife. I was not a good just woman in general. And I couldn't keep up and I couldn't, um, I couldn't hack it. And all these other women were hacking it. And I didn't know how they were hacking it because Lord knows I did not have a rainbows and unicorns experience for the first three years of her life. I mean, there was

a time once she was born, there was no connection. There was, I hate to say this, but I really didn't feel that mother-daughter mother-child bond that is supposed to come right after you have a child. I didn't feel it during my pregnancy and I didn't feel it after she was born. And so I felt like a failure. I felt like I was just some big mistake that I shouldn't have had kids kind of thing. And so going to work was my out. But knowing that you could take on that role without having the panic attacks and all that stuff, which meant that our daughter, not that I neglected her, you know, whatever, but I could go to work and know that Piper was fed. She was loved. She was warm.

She was, you know, burped and changed and all that stuff. But yeah. So anyway, I don't know how we got there from where we started. Well, because I decided not to be a trad wife when piper was born i you know and that wasn't really a thing at the time like trad wife wasn't on social media i mean social media was still kind of you know still kind of kicking off a little bit there were different things i think my space was now my space i don't know my space was dead and buried by them. But that's how we got on that topic of me not choosing to be a trad wife. Yeah.

But I still think that I am in some aspects a traditional wife. I do ask you for things. I do ask you for not so much permission, but I discuss with you things before I do them. So like if I want to go out to eat with some friends after work or whatever, I'm not just going to be like, oh, by the way, I'm at the restaurant and figure it out tonight. You know, I'm going to discuss those things with you first. And then like major decisions that happen for our household or even some minor ones. It's like, no, first I have to talk to my husband because he's a key player in this decision. And this decision could be, do I want to go get drinks after work with my coworkers? You know, that

could be a key decision because you may have something planned that I'm not aware of and you're relying on me to get home to help with this. So in a way, quote unquote, I ask your permission for things. And I certainly don't balk at that. I think I, I do, I do that and you do it as well. It's not like you go and make big purchases without discussing it with me. It's not like you decide, well, I'm going to go to the gun range today and screw my wife. She can figure it out on her own. And then you're out the door and you don't say anything. We have this mutual agreement and this mutual, um, well, we have a mutual respect, respect. That's the word I was trying to get to that, that we, you know, there's nothing wrong with that kind of stuff. I also, you know,

a long time ago, I told Phil that I don't, I don't like to do dishes and I don't like to do laundry. I will sweep, I will vacuum, I will make beds, I will clean toilets. I will do all those things, but the dishes and the laundry are like, I just don't like doing them. So Phil, you know, does all that stuff. Not all the time. I mean, I do a lot more because we had a discussion that you felt like a lot of stuff was piled on you more just because dad does it all the time doesn't mean that dad should do it all the time. I'm waiting on responses from you.

What are you doing? I'm feeding you the rope. I'm waiting on responses from you. What are you doing? I'm feeding you the rope. I'm letting you go. You look kind of like a little scared, a little questioning. No, I'm just waiting to see where you're going. No, I'm just saying like, I do take on traditional roles in the house. I do. But you also take on untraditional roles as the father man and husband yeah well and in a lot of ways like I've as Gillian and I were figuring out how to be a married couple I I've been very fluid in a lot of ways because like my perspective is very much like there are i don't see things

in terms of gender roles as weird as this might sound because i do fall into a lot of those traditional gender roles i look at things in terms of which one of us is the best suited to do this thing and whoever's the best suited person who should take the lead on it like no offense but if i'm out front doing a break job i'm not going to call you out there and ask your opinion on it because i know a lot more about mechanics than you do i've been working on cars with my dad since i was a teenager and you haven't but there have been moments where i've been like hey babe you see that little hole right there i need you to stick your arm in there and grab that thing because my my arm won't reach in that in that narrow moment you were better

suited to do that thing than I was, and I'm not going to fight with it. I'm just going to go get the person who's best suited to do the job. There have been times raising Piper where she has needed mom and dad in different capacities. And I can remember some times when she was little that you felt a way because she kept coming to me. And I'm like, she comes to me to get the things she needs from me. She goes to you to get the things she needs from you. She's drawing that line based on what she needs and who she feels is best equipped to give it to her. She's doing all this subconsciously.

So my point of view has always been doing the dishes and laundry drives to the walls. I do not care. I don't care. I wouldn't care if you were doing the dishes and laundry and you to the walls. I do not care. I don't care. I wouldn't care if you were doing the dishes and laundry and I was sweeping the floors. I don't care. It means nothing to me. So whichever one you prefer the least, I'll take care of. You'll do something else. We'll meet in the middle. But then there are things that like, yeah, I do traditionally fall into, but I don't think it's because I'm the man and that's a male role. I think it's just because I'm better equipped to do some of those things than you are. I'm bigger.

I am stronger. I have more endurance. I am better able to tolerate pain or discomfort or whatever the problem. Whatever it is, there are things that I naturally gravitate towards because I'm just better equipped for them. I naturally gravitate towards because I'm just better equipped for them. But then there's moments in time where like 11 year old little girl makes no rational sense to me whatsoever. And I look at you like, I really need you to explain this to me because you,

out of the two of us, you're the only one of us that's ever been a little girl. So I need you to help me out here. So I guess that's kind of my perspective is like, I don't, I believe that if, I believe that no matter what, where a couple draws the line in a relationship, I think there's two things that are super important. I think the important things are that you assign a task based on who is best equipped to deal with it. There are stay at home dads.

Yeah. Who stay home, take care of the kids, take care of the house, wife goes out and works. If that's the way y'all want to do things, that's perfectly A-OK. But the other really important part, and this is where I see a lot of the arguing and the bickering come about, is there has to be a sense of we're both contributing to this pot of effort as equally or not as equally, but as fully as possible. Because I find I see that I find that that seems to be where a lot of like there's there's miscommunication and misconceptions about, you know, the traditional lifestyle where it's like there's this idea in people's heads of like traditional life means wife does all the housework man sits like i jokingly told you this morning i'm gonna sit here while you're running around cleaning i'm gonna sit here with my feet up and my slippers on reading the newspaper and and you wanted me to go make you breakfast too oh yeah i forgot about the breakfast

and you had to do it wearing a skirt and heels like we're doing this Like, we're doing this. Let me go get my pearls. We're doing this 1950s style. But no, but that is a very common misconception about, you know, trad wife or traditional lifestyles. There's a misconception that in order to be a trad wife, you have to be subservient to your husband. And I've pointed out, I've always told people, I laugh at that because the idea that you are subservient to me is hilarious. Like, you have obviously never met my wife.

There is no treading under happening in this house. I'm not that bad. It's not that you're bad. But the point is that I don't seek to dominate you and you wouldn't tolerate being dominated. No. wouldn't tolerate being dominated. No. So that, I guess what I'm saying is like, these are all the misconceptions around the way that we've arranged our marriage and this lifestyle.

Yeah. But in that same thought of not being dominated and I would never allow to be dominated kind of thing, I also am not a feminist enough to believe that, well, wait, hang on. Don't need no man? Yeah. Well, that for sure. Don't need no man is such a stupid thing to say. And could I make it? Absolutely. I could, I am strong enough as a person, not because I'm a woman, but I'm strong enough as a person that if you were gone for some reason, I would make it. It would be hard. It'd be difficult. I wouldn't want to do it, but I could do it because I'm a strong person. It's not that I'm a strong woman. And, you know,

I always have these, well, first before I jump to that thought, because y'all, my brain's going 90 to nothing. I've got a lot of stuff to do today and thinking a lot of things. But anyway, I view you as the head of household. Like, it's not that I just, you know, ask your permission to go out after work or, you know, talk to you about major financial decisions and things like that. I've said it before. I have always believed and will always believe that you have such a major role in the household. And I think men in general just have a major role in the household. I believe that you're the head of household. Whether or not you are the household. I believe that you're the head of household.

Whether or not you are the breadwinner, you're still the head of household. You are the religious. What am I trying to say? I'm trying to think of you. Leader? Yes, you're the leader. But it all bears on your shoulders and then i take what i can off of your shoulders there's something biblical and i can't think of what i'm trying to say but

it is like in the bible kind of thing but it's like god husband wife then child and so you're in the household that's how the structure is supposed to be, or at least that's what we're told anyway, but you carry so much on your shoulders, and I respect that. I am never going to be a woman to say, well, no, no, no, no, no. It's going to be God, me, and you, and then the child, because that's not how it was set up. That's not how marriage was set up. That's not the way that I believe it should be. Now, people can have their opinions and they can think of whatever they want. But I'm not subservient to you, but I do know my place.

And my place is not the head. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And then you can say the little joke of you're the head, but I'm the neck. My grandmother used to tell that to my grandfather all the time. You're the head of the head, but I'm the neck. My grandmother used to tell that to my grandfather all the time. You're the head of the household, but I'm the neck. And the neck sways the head where it should go. More importantly, but a head without a neck doesn't get very far.

It's very true. But at the same time, and again, this is where I think some of those misconceptions come in. Like, yes, you and I see me as the head of the household. But I've been very clear about the fact that I see the position of husband and father not as one of privilege, but as one of responsibility. That's what I'm trying to say. It's a big responsibility. Everything falls upon my shoulders. I know you said earlier, stay-at-home moms don't get days off.

And I'm very clear about the fact that dads don't ever get days off. That's true. Well, I never get a day off from being dad or husband. Yeah. If everyone, and we've been in this situation where everybody in this house was sick with something at the exact same time. I don't care how sick I am, how bad I'm hurting. I don't care. I will crawl my butt out of bed, my miserable, snotty butt out of bed, and I will take care of this family no matter what it costs me.

No matter how much pain it inflicts. I keep saying I don't care, but I don't care. It has to be done. It's going to get done. I keep saying I don't care, but I don't care. It has to be done. It's going to get done. Yeah.

And that's why I've always been very clear about the fact that husband is a position of responsibility. I have a responsibility to care for my family that if it puts me into the grave, so be it. But I'm not going to fail at it. So I think where I see a lot of people get really twisted up about this idea that wife should serve husband and husband should be the head of the household is that there has to be an expectation that's going to flow back the other direction. Like, yes, biblically, your place is to serve me, but my position is also to serve you. This is a give and take of if I'm down or if I'm stressed out or something's going on with me, then you're naturally, because you care about me, you're going to want to do anything you can to alleviate that burden and help me, to calm me, to rejuvenate me. Because as soon as that's been done, I have to go right back to work to provide for the family, to provide for the household, to be dad, to be husband, to take care of stuff. This is a constant flow back and forth between husband and wife. And I think that's where I get

very aggravated about this idea that serving your husband is derided, but serving your wife is expected. And that seems to be where a lot of the nonsense I see on social media goes. Like it's putting myself in the position of all husbands, but it's my responsibility to cater to your every whim and will and have the six-pack abs and make $100,000 and be everything a wife wants. But the minute I say, hey, can I get a sandwich, I'm told I'm acting like a child. Right. And I'm just like, I get into it with people on social media frequently just for my own amusement. But I tell people all the time, if you wives are not prepared to make the sandwich, you don't get everything that comes along with having a husband.

Yeah. It doesn't work that way. Well, and it's like Stuart said. It's a simple courtesy. I think it goes even more than that. If you truly love that person, I mean, you're going to want to help them. If I'm in the kitchen making a sandwich, I'm always going to, hey, can I get you anything? Do you want anything while I'm in here doing this?

Or you yesterday, you got up. You made me coffee this morning. I did. And I don't drink coffee that often, but I got up because you needed coffee and the coffee wasn't made yet. But I also didn't want to be super loud and wake up Piper. I knew there was an ulterior motive. I love you and you need coffee.

But yesterday you were just sitting in the chair in the living room and you're like, I'm going to get up and make my girls breakfast. And it's like, okay. But you do that every weekend. It's like, and you do it in such a way it's an out of love kind of thing. It's like you're almost excited because you're making your girls breakfast. And that's how I feel at night when I make dinner. It's like, you know, I put my heart and soul into dinner because not only do I want to feed and nourish my family, I also want them. We used to tell Piper when she would say, oh, this is really good.

And I would say, well, I put a lot of love in there. I like mixed a lot of love in there with it. Oh, mama, your love tastes so good. Well, good. That's what I wanted to do. But I still feel that way. I still want my family to sit down and start eating their meals. And it's like all these compliments to the chef kind of thing.

I don't know. It comes from a place of love. And so if you are in need of something, and even if it's just a one, like you just really want me to do whatever, it's going to be hard for me to say no. I don't know if I've said no. I'm sure I have in the past. I'm sure I'm, I don't think I've ever been like, no, get your ass up and you go to the kitchen and get your own beer kind of thing. It's like, well, I'm walking that way. I'll bring you the beer. It doesn't, it makes you happy. It keeps you from having to stress about something. Not that you stress over

getting a beer, but you know what I'm saying? Like if I see a pile of clothes that need to be folded, I know you're running around crazy doing whatever. And your checklist is always longer than mine because I think you just find things that you need to do around the house. Believe it or not, my checklist is always long because it's just, it's always long. There's a lot of things that I do that you don't know how to do or can't do. And I have those things need to be done. Like that's why I've always. That's why I've always.

I think that's why when we were talking about love languages the other day. I think that's why acts of servitude like really speak to me. Because when you take something off my plate. It allows me to go do something else that only I know how to do. Like you. Well and you did say that the other day. You did. Cause you were doing, I think you were loading ammo or something and you would add, that was something that you really needed to get to. And it's not like it's a household chore that

needs to be done. Like on the weekends, we grew up grocery shopping, we wash clothes, we, you know, do all the, everything that needs to be done by Monday so that our week is a little smoother. And so when you were going to load ammo, it was an item on your list that you needed to get to. It wasn't something that's going to really support the household for the week kind of thing. I mean, unless we have UN invasion. But, you know, I know it's a good thing that you're doing that. So I took some things off.

Is it really that far-fetched? Well, not for this household. And it's at least a monthly chore that needs to get done. But it was nothing for me to take the other things off your plate of, you know, loading the dishwasher, unloading the dishwasher, folding clothes and starting loads and things like that because that's something that you needed to focus on. It was also a time for you to go out there by yourself and decompress. And you need that. You have always been a constant go.

You are a constant go person. And your mind is either reading something or it's doing something or it's thinking of something that needs to be done. I mean, you are a constant go person. I don't do veg out very well. You don't, but you do veg out for menial tasks of loading ammo. I think because you've got it such as a factory worker kind of thing in there that you can just pull that lever and keep going and smoke your cigar and all that stuff. So, you know, hi, everybody. That's coming on.

Hi, Kyle. Hi, Brandon. I think for me, I can veg out with tasks that are semi-repetitive, if that makes sense. And yes, Kyle, women's clothes are complicated. I have entered a new stage of hell where her and her daughter are only one size different. So now I'm having a harder time. And like underwear, but not like. Oh, okay.

I'm sorry. Underwear, socks, pants in some cases. Okay. When they're like, yeah. So, yes. I'm having a little bit of trouble figuring out whose is whose. Well, and we're always throwing you curve balls. If this can get dried, this needs to be washed and cold. The worst part of it is when she says, hey, I don't want to wear these anymore.

Do you want them? So now I've already had embedded in my head that these are where my wife's, but now they go to the other room. It's hell. I'm sorry. You are responsible for the gender of our child. That's woman propaganda. Listen, boys and girls,

everybody in listener land, anybody, anybody that tells you this nonsense about how men select the gender. I had about five minutes or less to do with her creation. And you had custody of the result of that for nine months. You chose the gender. Okay. Science denier.

No, it's not science denier. I'm denying obvious woman propaganda to blame the gender selection on the man. That's nonsense. Anyway, what were you saying? What was I saying? We were talking about, I don't even remember now. Great. Anyway, if it's a repetitive task, then it allows me to kind of like just take my brain down a little bit, focus on something small and I can, I can, I can decompress like that. But you're right. Like for me, my, my daily, my daily world is a

constant collection of to-do list chores, things that need to be taken care of long-term thinking about, you know, like, like the other day when I went through the chest freezer and just took everything out to look and see what was in there, started making a list of what needs to go back in. Like my, I, I always have something to work on because I feel like in a day, I only have so many hours. I only have so many days from now to the end of the month, from now to the end of the year, I only have so much time and I have so much to continue to work on and keep track of and keep tabs on and continue to look at. And then even when I'm not running around with all those, like you said, there's this constant, I want to learn about these things and I'm constantly reading about them.

Because like, you know, for all of my aggravation about the world we live in today and social media and all the nonsense that's come with that, like, we also live in a time when these things give you access to, like, more information than the Library of Congress had 100 years ago, and it's in your pocket. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't, I don't spend my free time staring at nonsense except for Hell's Kitchen, because that's hilarious. Yeah, we're on a Hell's Kitchen kick at this house. I don't even know how that happened, but I don't spend my free time. Like my sister Phoebe. I don't spend my free time staring at that and just vegging out. I spend it reading and learning and pumping information into my head, learning about things I'm interested in, because that's what nourishes me mentally. But you're right.

Any chore you take off my hands, it's not like I'm going to be like, oh, great, now I can go sit on my butt. It's like, nope, now I have something else to go work on. Because if you didn't take that chore off my hands, I'd have to do that chore plus the other one. And I do have to say that because you're such a mover and a shaker and a go, go, go, and your lists are always constantly being checked off. Maybe I shouldn't say this because maybe it'll change things. Spoiled. Yes. How did you know? I tell you all the time that you're spoiled.

It does mean that I'm spoiled, and I know that I'm spoiled rotten. He does all these things, and he's whirling around the house like some damn maid sometimes. He's always bringing, especially this is where it gets me all the time. He's always bringing, especially this is where it gets me all the time. He drags the clothes from the bedrooms into the laundry room. And he has to pass by my chair in the living room. And I'm usually just sitting there reading a book. Under a blanket with socks on. And so I'm always like, why are you doing that right now?

Like, come on, just sit down. Because I really want you to sit down so that I can stay in my chair reading a book. But if you're up doing things, then I feel like I should be up doing things. But you've already got all the things done. And so I guess I'm just going to sit here and read my book. I'm spoiled. I know. You are rotten.

So is Piper. But, okay, so who spoils us? and read my book. I'm spoiled. I know. You are rotten. I know. So is Piper. But, okay, so who spoils us? But isn't it our job to spoil each other? Are you spoiled? Sometimes. Oh. Are you spoiled all the time?

Yes. All the time? I feel like it. Okay. So I have work to do. I need to spoil you a little bit more if you feel the need oh lord i don't even know where to spoil you well but here's because you won't sit down i'll tell you why don't you just stop why don't you do this there's stuff to do there's work to do because again husband and father is a position of responsibility. Trophy husband, Phil. He actually does have a trophy, Kyle.

Okay. So that's a fun little side note. Years and years ago, I think Gillian made a joke about how I was like husband of the year. And I kept retorting sarcastically, where's my trophy? Where's my trophy for being husband of the year? So her and Piper got me a literal my trophy for being husband of the year? So her and Piper got me a literal trophy made that says husband of the year. And it's sitting right there on top of the bookshelf. I know, I want to go get it so you can see it. It's a man. It's just a man in a suit standing on top of a little podium. And then it says husband of the year. I don't know.

I thought it was funny. I like to do those kinds of things. It got a chuckle out of me. But yeah, I mean, that's just kind of my perspective. It's like, this is what I'm supposed to, this is what, to me, this is what traditional means in terms of like husband, in terms of a marriage. It is our responsibility to take care of each other. It is our responsibility to spoil each other. It's our responsibility to make sure that the other it is our responsibility to spoil each other it's our responsibility to make sure that the other person's needs are met that's not a like that is that's never a i don't think that's ever like a cause to deride one member of the marriage for wanting to do those things for the other i think that's that's probably what's missing from a lot of people's marriages i think a lot of people's marriages. I think a lot of people get it in their head that they can take care of themselves.

They're an adult. They need to grow up. They need to do X, Y, Z at ABC without the idea that, like, my responsibility as a husband is to make my wife feel spoiled, is to make sure that her needs are met, is to make sure that I'm taking care of her. Not because you're an invalid and not because you're a child, but because that's what I'm supposed to do as a husband. And if I'm not doing those things, I'm not living up to the vows we took and it works the other way. Yes. So I, I feel like, I feel like I don't necessarily feel as though in order for us to embrace this idea of like traditional household, I don't feel like it's required that you stay home, do all the housework and homeschool the kid and I go work. think that's necessarily a component because for as long as there have been stay-at-home or traditional wives and stay-at-home, you know, wives and moms, there's also been women that worked.

Women that worked as nurses, women that worked as school teachers. I mean, that's not a new phenomena that women worked. It's a relatively new phenomena, dates back to what, probably about the 60s or 70s, that women work in the proportion they do now. But women have always worked in the workforce in certain fields. Going back, I mean, even to like pre-colonial times, the United States of America, that's not a new thing. So I guess my perspective is the fact that you work doesn't necessarily mean that you're not a traditional wife. It doesn't mean we're not a traditional family i think our perspective on where we see ourselves in regards to each other is what makes us traditional like i mean that's the whole tagline for our show traditional family

the traditional family talks so but but yeah I guess in a way I can see your point of view. We, we aren't completely traditional, but, um, and because I think that really the only thing is because I work outside of the home. Am I not a tradition, a traditional wife or whatever, but I cook for my family. I care for my family. I take care of them when I take care of y'all when you're sick. You know, I, I do all the traditional things that a woman in the home should do. Um, I just am also, uh, I also have you to do it for me and Piper as well. And like Stuart said, you know, not just responsibility. I want to do it for me and Piper as well. And like Stuart said, you know, not just responsibility, I want to do it. I enjoy doing that for my family. I feel the same way. I want to do those things. I

want to make sure that my family is happy and healthy and taken care of. And then, you know, when they go to bed at night, they're, they feel safe and comfort and, you know, all those things. they feel safe and comfort and, you know, all those things. That's what I want for my family. And whatever I have to do to do those, to make sure that y'all feel those things, you know, it's like I ask you every now and then, and you always look at me like I'm crazy. Like sometimes I'll ask you, do you, do you still think I'm a good wife? Do you still think that I'm a good person? Do you still think that I'm a good friend? Do you still think, you know, I'm going through all these, I don't ask all that at once, but every now and then I just kind of do a little check-in to say, hey, am I falling somewhere? Have I loosened up the reins a little bit in an area that I shouldn't have? Kind of just like a check-in. Like, where am I? Where do I stand with you now? Because

like we've said multiple times, people change. We have, our marriage has changed. We have changed as individuals. And I think it's healthy to have those conversations of you're not the same person anymore, but that's okay because this is the person. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's okay that you're not the same person anymore. I'm not the same person. We've talked about that. But in my head, I always want the reassurance that I'm still, you know, still up there on your whole life scale kind of thing.

I still can tell that I haven't changed that much. You have. How? You're not as like, I mean, when we first met, when we first got married, when we first got married, you were very much a,

you know, gung-ho, I'm the man, not towards me, but like, I'll pummel anybody kind of thing. Like you were just, you were always high strung. You were always ready for a fight. You weren't mad. You weren't like whatever, but you were ready to defend whatever cause or thing. You were just always like there.

Very confrontational. Confrontational, but you were also very proud and you were very um i don't i don't know what else how else to explain it um you were just all those things plus i felt like i feel like when we first got married you put so much pressure on yourself to be that husband and be the eventual father and still climb the rungs of the ladder at work and make sure that you were providing and all those things. And then when you had a setback, it killed you, just like it would anybody. But I think now we trust each other enough that you know that you can come to me

when you're upset about something and that you know you can come to me when something's bothering you and you don't have to carry the load all by yourself anymore. And that took some time for you to get through. But I do think that you're a much more calm. You're collected. You're not as quick to just like lash out at people and things like that. So I do think you have changed. You've cooled down a little bit. Getting older is hell.

You were kind of a, I mean, you were a hothead combat vet, you know, coming home when we first met. So, yeah, you have kind of cooled down a little bit in 20 years. So, yeah. Okay. I'll give you that one. Okay. Well, is this going to be the awkward pause? Well, you have to have one per show.

It's contractual. Okay. Well, keep going. But, yeah, for all of those reasons, everything we've outlined, like, I do feel like you are a traditional wife. I do feel like we are a traditional household. Okay. Well, keep going. people that are in the chat that I've been reading y'all's comments, by the way, while y'all been talking. But it really comes down to just how both parties to the marriage see themselves, see their responsibility in the marriage. And I feel like what's been lost in demonizing traditional marriages is this idea that to serve means subservient. Yeah. Because, you know, like to put a biblical spin on it, like you think about like the moments in the Bible where it discusses like Jesus's relationship

with the apostles and with just the people he met, washing people's feet, you know, like praying, hanging, healing people that were blind or had leprosy and inviting tax collectors who, by the way, were like politicians today, like they were scum of the earth, inviting them to come break bread with him or sit with him and talk with him. Like this, Jesus is really, and again, because we're both Christians, but like Jesus's example to all of us was even though he was the son of man, even though he was like the worldly vessel of all of God's power, he served other people, but he did it because he loved other

people. And I think that's what's, I think that's what's missing from this conversation. I think that's what scares me so badly. Whenever I hear people talk about how you shouldn't serve your husband, you shouldn't serve your wife. If service is an act of love, then the absence of that service is to me hollowing out what the word love means. And that's what worries me is that when I see traditional wives, traditional husbands attacked for that lifestyle, I'm going to ask, how do you show your spouse that you give a damn about them? If not, if not to try to lessen their burden, if not to try to take care of them, if not to try to, you know, whether it's cooking a meal or it's, you know, like just letting them vent after a hard day at work or whether it's no matter what it is, like, how do you how do you communicate that you care about that person except through words and through acts of servitude and all these other things?

But that's that's also the reason why I never saw the utility in establishing these hard lines where it was like, nope, that's woman work. You do that. I'm not going to touch that. Because to me, it's like, if I care about my wife and she's overloaded, I'm going to help. I can't sit here and watch you work and not want to help. I can't do that. It doesn't feel right. Yeah. That's why I always feel like, great, he's walking by with the laundry.

I have to get up and stop reading my book now. Thanks for that. Do you want to wear clean clothes or do you want to run around naked? Well, anyway. I ask you that every weekend when you say, would you please just sit down. Is this laundry going to pull a Fantasia and dance to the wash and show you do it so? You just don't ever give it the opportunity to show you that it is magical and give it a plenty of opportunities it's never taken care of itself

so that means it's going to take work well i i do feel like i am a traditional wife in some aspects so there that's it did we have anything else to throw in here i don't think so i think we've kind of talked about this before in some some ways in some contexts and different episodes but um i when he texted me at school the other day he's like i have a show idea and i was like oh boy um and he's like i'll discuss it with you when you get home. And I was like, oh boy. And then he, you know,

pops out with this idea. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, let's do it. So anyway, I have to go put on some pearls and bake a pie. Make a sandwich.

Get to it. Do you want a sandwich? Anyway. Actually, as soon as this is over, I over, we have housework to do. Well, thank you guys for tuning in. Don't forget to check out the Women Who Prep Conference information. It's in the link tree on my Instagram and Facebook.

And if you would like to attend, you can purchase your tickets through that link. And it's April 20th through the 23rd, and it's online. So get your prepping on. Learn how to prep, like us. And bear in mind, Prepper Camp is coming up in September, like it always does. Gillian will be with us this year. So excited. So excited.

So she invited herself along under the auspice that she would help run the booth, but I really think what's going to happen is she's going to abandon me and Andrew to our own devices and run off and have fun. Sometimes. I mean, Willow and Jordan will be there. So yes, my girls, can't we see them? And Sarah. Well, yeah, Sarah.

I mean, there's so many countless people that will be there, but yeah. So anyway, so thank you guys for joining. I hope you have a great rest of your day and a fun week ahead. I don't know. Yep. Good talking to y'all. Have a happy Sunday morning. I'm going to see if I can smooth talk her into making me a sandwich.

You got it. Bye y'all. Bye y'all. Thank you.