The Prepper Broadcasting Network - Raising Values: Keeping Up With The Joneses

Episode Date: November 12, 2023

https://www.facebook.com/RaisingValuesPodcast/https://www.instagram.com/raisingvaluespodcast/http://www.mofpodcast.com/www.prepperbroadcasting.comhttps://rumble.com/user/Mofpodcastwww.youtube.com/user/philrabSupport the showMerch at: https://southerngalscrafts.myshopify.com/Shop at Amazon: http://amzn.to/2ora9riPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/mofpodcast'Keeping Up With The Joneses' is a long running and well understood phenomenum where a person or couple feels the pressure to accumulate the same amount of perceived wealth as their peers and neighbors. But are you chasing their wealth, your perception of their wealth, or your own financial well being? Have a seat with Gillian and Phil as they talk through why keeping up with the neighbors has never been high on their priority list....yet they still find themselves feeling the pressure from time to time.Raising Values Podcast is live-streaming our podcast on YouTube channel, Facebook page, and Rumble. See the links above, join in the live chat, and see the faces behind the voices.

Welcome to the Raising Values Podcast, where the traditional family talks. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Spotify, and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can support the Raising Values Podcast through Patreon. Bill and Gillian are behind the mic, and we hope you enjoy the show. welcome back to raise the values my wife has already told me that i misspelled the title why do you always start off with something negative it's not negative it's just something unexpected he did but he also is not the one who, you know, does Christmas cards either. So it is supposed to be J-O-N-E-S-E-S, Joneses. My inner spelling teacher refuses to accept that that is the proper way to write Joneses. I know.

And when we do our Christmas cards, I also don't put Rabelais with an E-S either because it just drives me nuts. But that's why I say the Rabelais family. But anyway, so yeah. Anyway, welcome back to Raising Values. Phil is on a roll tonight. And thank you for joining us tonight because, well, if you're joining us live, it's six o'clock in the afternoon, evening, but it looks like it's midnight outside and I can't stand it. I do not like daylight savings time. I think it is the biggest crock of malarkey that's out there. Yeah. Not the biggest, but you know what I mean. We would have recorded 10 o'clock like usual this morning, but I literally had to work my day job. Yeah. Yeah. So, and we've had a very, very, very busy day. I mean, that's why I

look like poo poo this afternoon on this podcast. If you were watching it live or going back to look at it, I, um, we've worked outside, we put away Halloween, we cleaned the house, we've laundered, we've, I mean, we went to the We cleaned the house. We've laundered. I mean, we went to the lakefront and met your parents and went for a walk and went for another walk. And we've just kind of been at it today. And I'm tired. But anyway, so here we are. So here we are to talk about keeping up with the Joneses, which is misspelled.

But I think most people would understand what I was referring to. I mean, everybody's heard that story. I wasn't even going to say anything. You were the one who said something. You said something to me. I say something to them. They're the audience. They should feel like they're part of this.

Part of this marriage? I mean, sometimes. To some degree. Do you feel bad about being married to me or something? I know. Like you just feel like you have to put other people through. I feel bad about misspelling that, though. Oh. Shame.

It's okay. Shame. I actually went back on the Facebook post and edited it, so it looks good there. Oh, by the way, you could be watching us on Facebook this afternoon, this evening, whatever we're at, whatever, tonight, today. What's my name? Who am I and where am I? I don't know. We are on Facebook for the time being because Phil has found a way around this filter that the Prepper Broadcasting Network hosts have all been a part of this huge blockage of, you know, freedom of speech and things like that.

Because Lord knows we live in a communist country and shouldn't have the freedom to say what we want to say. And there's nothing on earth more objectionable than a married couple who are like, you know, 15 and a half years into marriage talking about how to have a healthy marriage at a time when the divorce rate is better than 50%. Yeah, they don't make a profit off of us. Sorry. Not sorry. But anyway.

Everything I think we talk about on here is controversial in a way. I think it is part of a dying, not system, but I guess system if you want to say. But we're a dying breed, a dying, not system, but I guess system, if you want to say, but we're a dying breed, a dying culture. And, you know, I think there's probably people out there that if they ever got wind of this podcast, they'd probably call us all sorts of mean derogatory names and things like that. You know, we talk about God and traditional marriage and traditional values and how to raise children in a traditional way. And like I said in my post at the beginning of the week, we don't offer crayons in safe spaces.

You know, it's very upfront. Obviously, you know, if you're a part of the podcast that I cry a lot. And you are definitely a part of the patriarchy and down with women. She's saying that as tongue-in-cheek as possible. You don't have anything to say about that? Feeling gillyian after dark. Daily six times a thing, man. It is two hours.

No, it's an hour and 55 minutes until my bedtime. So Gillian is going to be dragging a little bit on this one. But anyway, so yeah, keeping up with the Joneses is what we're talking about. Yeah. And I mean, most people have heard that saying before. I think a lot of people understand this built-in societal pressure. You know what I'm saying? That whatever your social group is, whoever your friends are,

there is this pressure that like I want to do as well as they are. And everybody has a different way of measuring that. A lot of times it's like, you know, who has the biggest house or the most expensive cars or the coolest stuff or whatever. Or takes the nicest vacations. Or takes the nicest vacations. And, you know, to kind of like broaden that out a little bit beyond just the monetary, the trappings of wealth. It's like I was telling you earlier, like I see a lot of parallels between this

and social media. I'm the choice for saying there's no reality in reality television. Well, I'm going to tell you there's not a lot of reality in social media either. When you look on Instagram and you see this influencer going to these amazing places, taking these cool vacations, and you think, wow, I wish I had their life, you're seeing 2% of their life. Right. You're not seeing the 98% where they're sick, they're throwing up. You don't see any of that. Or the bills have come in and the credit card is overdue and the house payment hasn't been paid or whatever.

Or the filter is not on. Oh, Lord. The filter is not on. Oh, Lord. And so the wrinkles are really there or the saggy skin or whatever. The Botox, you got to go get your Botox again or whatever. I do have to admit, I love the before and after pictures I see on social media where you'll have like a girl and the filters are on, the makeup's on, the high- waisted leggings are pulled up to here to suck everything in and then the very next picture is no filter no makeup leggings rolled down so you see the muffin top and it's it's like 7 a.m 7 to 2 a.m and i i like that because it

really pounds them it pounds the point home that what you're seeing here is what a person wants you to see you're not seeing them what a person wants you to see. You're not seeing them as they really are. And I think... Well, I think we all do that, though. I mean, I'm not going to post the... Well, I have in the past, I guess you could say. I've taken pictures. She has banned me from ever putting it out on the internet, ever.

I think she's beautiful, but she doesn't. That's just my own... Excuse't. That's just my own. Excuse me. That's just my own insecurities, but I'm not filtering myself out so much that if you pass me in the, yeah, if you pass me in the hall or on the, you know,

in the grocery store, you wouldn't recognize me at all. I do know people that do that. I know one person in particular, and I think you, images that she posts of herself look nothing like she does in real life nothing and when i say nothing i'm talking like not even face has been contoured like bone structure isn't even the same and it's sad and and i'm not i'm not trying to make fun of her or anything because i think she really does have some sort of mental disorder

in a way of the way what i can't even remember what it's called the way that you view yourself like body dysphoria dysmorph dysphoria dysphoria yes she definitely definitely has that and she has her whole entire life um and i i just find it so sad that um it continues this far in her life and i wish that she could see just how beautiful and wonderful of a person she is but the pictures that she posts of herself they don't even look like her like the when i tell you the bone structure is, but the pictures that she posts of herself, they don't even look like her. Like when I tell you the bone structure is not even the same. Now my Facebook profile picture right now, it's very bright. There's a filter on it. We took it, me and Piper took it in a photo booth at the event that we were at. So I do post pictures of me filtered and things like that, obviously,

because my profile picture is like that. But, I mean, I think everyone has some sort of insecurities, especially when it comes to filters on Instagram, Facebook, all that stuff. But getting to keep it up with the Joneses. And, like, there's a part of me that wants to say, like, I feel like men fall into this trap more than women but i don't think that i can say that and like back it up but like i feel like there is a ton of pressure on people to feel like they're do they're doing

well enough and they have they a lot of times they have nothing to judge that by except comparing their stuff to other people's stuff and when people get into this they fall into this pit of that person i'm driving a toyota that person's driving a bmw like what are they doing different for me that they can afford that so much nicer car or like we were just at the lakefront two million dollar houses yeah and you know it creeps in a lot of people's heads. They think to themselves, well, how in the world can they afford a $2 million house? I'm living in a $200,000 house. Like, what are they doing differently than I am that they're making 10 times the money?

But that's not really the way reality works. But that is the perception and that is the trap that people fall into where they say, in order to feel good about me, to draw the parallel to like body dysphoria, call this wealth dysphoria, if you will. But in order to feel good about how well I'm doing and providing for my family, I have to have the stuff other people have. Because if I don't have that, then I don't feel wealthy or I don't look wealthy. Yeah. Yeah. display of money. I don't feel wealthy or I don't look wealthy. Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, I guess I think when I was younger, I probably fell into that trap. I, um,

maybe, I mean, I had, we, we all know I had a spending problem. Um, money burned a hole in my pockets, but I don't, I'm not like that anymore. Like I look at those $2 million houses on the lakefront and you know, the first thing that pops up into my mind. God, I don't want to clean that. I don't want to clean that house. I don't want a house that big that I have to clean because if I'm buying a $2 million house, I will, well, if I'm buying a $2 million house and can actually afford a $2 million house, maybe I will have enough money I can afford a maid or a housekeeper or something. But I know myself and I know you.

You're not going to let a housekeeper into the house. But my problem is like. I don't want to clean a $2 million house. See, my whole problem with that going down that it's more like it's how I was raised. Like, if you are capable of doing something for yourself, there's almost a small amount of shame involved in paying somebody else to do it. Like, when you said, hey, honey, I think my brakes need to be looked at, what did you think was going to happen? Did you think I was going to take it to a mechanic? Or did you think I was going to order the parts? Well, no, because I know you.

You're going to do this. I'm going to order the parts. I'm going to jack it up in the driveway right there in front of God, the neighbors, and everybody. And I'm going to freaking rip the wheels off and change the brakes because I know how to do that. And I'm not going to pay somebody else to do something I'm capable of doing for myself. A, because I'm cheap and I work cheaper than mechanics do. And B, because it's a pride thing. Well, I was going to say, we all know that that was one reason why I married you. I married my mechanic. I married my financial advisor. Of course, you're not going to go bring it to someone. I was shocked, y'all.

I was shocked the other day when I told him I needed my inspection sticker done. If you're not from the state of Louisiana, it's a little whatever. Most states have brake tags and inspection stickers. Anyway, and he said, well, you know, if you go to Blue Harbor, you can get a free car wash with it. Y'all, I almost, my jaw hit the floor. This man just said, I can go get a free car wash. Like I can run my car through the car wash and he's not going to like pitch a fit about it. Now I don't do it.

I used to do it when we first got together and I was driving this blue Mustang. That had no clear coat on it. That was my first car. It was a used car. We don't know where it came from or the damage that the previous owner. All I'm saying is when you run your vehicle through touchless car wash over and over and over, it eats the clear coat off. Anyone wants to debate that with me, load your guns. I'll die on that hill.

And I agree. But I was shocked when you said go through the car wash when you get your inspection sticker because my car really needed to be washed. But I didn't want to get out in the heat and do it. I don't want to ask you to do it, even though I know if I say, hey, babe, look, if you have time this weekend, could you please help me wash my car or wash my car for me? I have no problem washing your car. I have no problem helping you wash your car. And if you'll sit out there with me and keep me company, I don't mind doing it. I know, but I don't want to do that to you.

Like, I don't want to be like, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'll return the favor some kind of way. Trust me. I'm keeping a little ledger with wife owes me for one car wash. Settle debt on or before this date. Well, wait, can this be like, you know how when you were a kid, I don't know if you did this. This didn't really become a thing until Piper was like little or maybe before her, but she would give a coupon and it would say good for one free hug, good for one free whatever. Can I have those?

Can I get coupons? Only if I get to write them down. As like a return, like a tab? Write them down? Or like you get to write the coupon out? I get to write out the coupons. I ain't washing no car for a hug. No, the coupon would say, this coupon is good for one free hug.

Your coupon would say, this coupon is good for one free hug. Your coupon would say this coupon is good for one free break job. This coupon is good for one free car wash. This coupon is good for one free trip to the beach. So hold on a second. Break job, car wash, trip to the beach. What are you writing on your coupons? I'm a really good cook so am i i don't know i anyway anyway we'll have to think about that i'm turning red because i know what you want me to write on my coupons. Anyway. Maybe for a. Don't say that out loud.

I give up. We're moving on. We're keeping up with the Joneses. Kyle, you might be banned from our Facebook page. I'm joking. I'm joking. Totally joking. But I do think keeping up with the Joneses is a thing.

I think that a lot of people fall into that trap. And on the one hand, like, I am sympathetic to it because I like even we feel that pressure from time to time. Great. Great. My father-in-law is blushing. I can't go on with this episode. Yeah, you can. Have a seat.

You're good. I have to go. Okay. to go okay but at the same time like i i have personally been extremely critical in the past of indulging in that urge to like keep up with the joneses i've been very critical that i've been very resistant to that between the two of us i've been very critical of that with other people when they express to me like that's what they're feeling or going through or trying to do because like from my perspective and this is something I was talking about earlier with my dad actually. But when I was talking about this episode, I'm like, you know, people look at that house, that car, that outer example of a person's wealth, but they don't see what's behind it. They don't see, oh, that's a $600 a month car payment or, oh, that's a $2,000 home mortgage with the escrow and the taxes and everything else rolled into it.

They look at that house on the lakefront and don't realize the flood insurance bill attached to that house. They don't see everything that's behind that. Like the whole, again, how we started this, talking about social media and you see the 2%, you don't see the 98%. For all I know, everybody that lives out there could be a millionaire, a multimillionaire. They could be old money. Maybe they just have a really high-paying job. Who knows? They could also be so eyeball-deep in crushing debt that they will literally die penniless

and never leave a dime behind to their heirs. There's no way of knowing. And I guess that's kind of my point when I look at, whenever I get into a conversation about keeping up with the Joneses, I always caution a person with, all you can see is their property. You can't see what the payments are. You can't see how much debt they're holding. You can't see how much of that stuff they actually own.

Yeah, they probably don't own a lot of it. I mean, I'm sure there are people out there and probably more than what we give credit to that actually do own the things that they have. And maybe there are people, more people out there than what we give credit to that don't live in debt or live on credit cards and things like that. I know what the statistics say. Based on statistics. Okay. The statistics say that people within our age range, and admittedly, baby boomers, Gen Xers, tend to have more financial holdings than the millennials do. And we are like the very earliest of the millennials in a lot of ways.

more financial holdings than the millennials do. And we are like the very earliest of the millennials in a lot of ways. But the statistics I go back to say that millennials, 80% of them don't have $1,000 cash in the bank for an emergency. So that being the case, and when you look at like just the breakdown of true wealth, like liquid assets amongst all the generations, the baby boomers own like 56% of this nation's wealth. And again, maybe you're right. Maybe the statistics are wrong.

That's possible. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying like, you know, maybe there are people out there like us that don't live on credit cards and, you know, they're the nice cars that they drive because I feel like I drive a very nice car. It's an eight-year-old Jeep Grand Cherokee. It has heated seats. It has air-conditioned seats. It has a full moonroof sunroof, like the whole thing goes back. I mean, it's the, it is the nicest. It's leather. It's leather. Yeah. It's the nicest,

um, big girl Gillian car that I've ever owned and I paid for it. And in six months it'll be paid off, but it still looks like a brand new car, you know. And your truck is paid off. And it's not an eyesore. It's not like it's a clunker. I do have a spot that I noticed today that's clear coat is starting to wear off. Did you go through a car wash? No.

It's just, it's the sun. I mean, that truck sits a lot and the sun's taking its toll on it. I mean, sooner or later later I'm going to have to sooner or later I'm going to have to compound and polish the truck. Anyway. But anyway, so like you could definitely look at keeping up with the Joneses

in a financial aspect. You could look at it in a social media aspect of this person doesn't really look like this in real life and their life really isn't this luxurious and glamorous and everything else you know you don't maybe you don't know what kind of house they drive or clunker car they drive and that's live in and drive i knew you know what i'm trying to say i'm sorry um and then i think there's also an emotional keeping up with the Joneses.

I mean, the first person that comes to mind is Robin Williams. You always thought that Robin Williams was this happy-go-lucky, he was secure in who he was and all that stuff. But he fought depression so severely that he killed himself. And I probably shouldn't have said that out loud because... He hurt himself. He offed himself. himself but anyway um damage is done there literally both figuratively but anyway i i think about that and then i think about that person i was talking about earlier who who will filter out and you know do whatever she does to her pictures that her bone structure has even changed.

I know I keep repeating that, but I think that just blows my mind. Like the bone structure, like you're messing with the shape of your face. But I know deep down because I know this person so well that it is, it's just a facade of the sad, depressed person that she is, and very insecure person that she is. And so not only do we as a society keep up with the Joneses in all of those ways, but financially and all that stuff, but we're also trying to keep them keep up with everyone emotionally. And I, you know, I, there was a instance that happened to me when Piper was baby, baby, and the baby blues and the postpartum was so, so, so severe. I went

to, I went to City Park in New Orleans with a friend at the time. And we were watching this family take their family portraits. And she had just had a baby. I mean, baby, baby, just like I had. And she's smiling and she looks beautiful and put together and well done. And it was just like total night and day between me and this woman. And this, the girl that I was with, she, she just kind of leaned over and I guess, I guess she just knew what I was thinking. Or maybe I had said, God, I wish it was that easy for me or something like that. And she goes, you don't know what drugs she's taking. You don't know

if she has a nanny at home. You don't know if her mother-in-law is staying with her and she's taking. You don't know if she has a nanny at home. You don't know if her mother-in-law is staying with her and she's sleeping eight hours at night. You don't know anything about what's happening to her. Don't compare yourself to her. But I mean, I'm not the only woman. And I know that there's people that are watching that. We always compare ourselves to others. Always, always, always. I mean, you can't get away from it. You always are going to compare yourself to another person. But so for instance, so that happened. Well, then about six or seven, maybe eight months ago, I met this woman who happens to be the mother of one of Piper's friends. And she's absolutely gorgeous. She's a beautiful, fit woman.

There was no jealousy involved. I looked at that woman and I thought, that's it. Like, I've got to get off my ass. I've got to start working out. If she can do it at 40, I can do it at 40. So I looked at her as motivation and I even texted her and I said, I just think you are such a beautiful woman inside and out. You've given me the motivation I needed to get off the couch, you know, figuratively, and get my butt in gear.

And I think it was nice to hear. She thought it was nice to hear that. But, you know, I think you eventually get to a place, hopefully you get to a place, where you stop judging yourself against others. You stop critiquing yourself based on what you're seeing online and things like that. I don't know. I still do it. I always will.

I'll always look at my friends who are able to afford six or seven trips in a year and be super jealous. Of course I will, because yeah, I would like that life too. But I can also self-reflect and be like, you know what? I have a pretty good year. And in about 10 years, this is totally not what I was saying last week on the podcast, but in about 10 years, we'll be able to do those things and we'll have those things and we'll, you know, whatever. So is she a lizard person? I don't know. Which one are you talking about? The person who modified her bone structure. Kyle's being funny. She's not. She's not a lizard person. Unfortunately, she's just very unhappy in who she is and she always has been. I think she's always tried to be something more than what she

was and didn't think that what she was was enough. And kind of in that vein though, like I think from my perspective, I think this is also one of those moments in time where like she from, I believe she is seeking validation from sources she should not. Yes. Because let's call it what it is. Do you think for one split second that her husband doesn't think she is like the hottest thing in the entire parish? I'm sure she does. I'm sure he does. And still to this day, we'll think that about her.

And when she's 80 and wrinkled and saggy and everything else, I'm sure he will think the same thing. I don't doubt that at all. So I guess kind of to my point then, I get frustrated because people see validation from places they shouldn't. Like, I admit, I fall into this trap. You were talking about the families that can afford all the trips and everything. I fall into this trap every now and then, and I've expressed this to you that, like, yeah,

sometimes I get pretty aggravated about, like, you I know what I make I know what I'm doing sorry our lizard is making some huffing noises for reasons I'm not sure why is he really huffing unless it's something else making the noise I think it's something else okay lizards don't really huff anyway anyway what were you saying but like I've fallen I've fallen into this trap sometimes where like I look at other people and the things they're able to provide for their family. And then I see myself struggling in some of these ways. You know, like I know I've been talking to you about how I've been like super laser focused on getting our emergency fund built up because that's like that gives me peace of mind to know that we have a major. Oh, my God. We can just pull cash out of savings, breeze it over and we'll be OK. because that's like that gives me peace of mind to know that if we have a major oh my god we can

just pull cash out of savings breeze it over and we'll be okay and it's not an immediate emergency because we have contingencies for that but at the same time when i look around and i see oh so and so just went on a trip so and so went on a vacation so and so you know they took their family out for a week this summer and all those things i think to myself myself, I'm like, I'm just not there. I'm not there where I feel like I could take that $1,000 or $2,000 and just go run off on a vacation, not with these things that need to be taken care of. And I admit that, yeah, I am being very aggressive about saving and put away for retirement because, again, in 10 years, once somebody's at a private high school, we have plans. We want to be able to go buy a piece of property, build a house, build a forever home on it. We want to have equity in this house to make some of that happen.

I've got us on a financial plan that I think will get us to our goals, but it means controlling our finances now to be able to have that later. But when, and when, again, that's why I have to remind myself when I see other people around us, I'm like, I don't know where they're going to be in 10 years. Yeah. I don't know if they're going to, I don't know if they're going to be able to afford their homes. For all I know, they could be stacked up $600, $1,000 a month just in credit card debt, making minimum payments for the next 35, 40 years. They may never retire. They may never be in the financial position that we are in today, much less could be if we continue this trajectory. And that's what I have to remind myself is that I put us on a path. It's a plan that I know works.

It takes diligence. It takes hard work. It takes resisting the urge to say, I paid off my Tacoma. I'd really like to get a brand new TRD Pro 4x4 Toyota Tundra. Be real happy to have that sit in my driveway and then eat $30,000 extra debt on top of the value of that truck that's paid off with 140,000 miles on it. It's the teardrop camper that we've

talked about wanting or wanting to buy or wanting to build. You know, 20, 25, 30 grand for one outfitted the way I want, where it's truly completely off-grid capable. We could hitch it up behind the truck, go anywhere in the country we want. But what does that mean in terms of taking money out of the budget that could go into savings or go into retirement or go into the 401k? It's a thing in the financial world we refer to as opportunity cost. In other words, if you spend this money, what does not having that money cost you if you were to invest the same amount? And that is all personal finances is at the end of the day. It's always spend it here.

I don't have it here. And when we talk about things like private school tuition, that's going to be a bill. That's not going to be fun to figure out. I mean, I know we can do it. I know I've looked at our finances. I know we can, but it's going to hurt. But what's the opportunity cost of spending that money on private school tuition? We could put it in our 401k and have more money and Piper get less of an education.

Yeah. Not willing to make that trade. I know. And that one, yeah. Is it going to hurt? Yes, it's going to hurt. But is it for a good cause? Yeah. It's like, you know, it's even better than buying a, making sure you're buying a reliable, reliable vehicle to get to work. I mean, this is, this is her education. She needs it. We're 48th in this in the nation in the state the state is 48th in the nation 49th oh i thought we were 48 maybe we're 49 still not great i mean either way we're

at the bottom of the barrel and you know sending her to a blue ribbon high school is worth the 11 grand that it's going to cost to send her there. That's just what it is. I know it hurts to say that. I know I was about to go back to Kyle's comment of, I have to work a lot to keep us afloat. And I look around and I feel like I'm a bad father. Well, first off, you are not a bad father. I don't think that you're a bad father at all. I've seen you interact with your kid. You're not a bad father. And not only seeing you interact with them, but how many times have you reached out to discuss things about raising your kid? Because we've been there and we've had a child your age, so we know what it's like. His child's age. I've never had a child his age.

That'd be weird. I'm so sleepy. That would be weird. We don't have a child your age, Kyle. I don't know. Sometimes this one is a child. Anyway, shoot. Oh, what I was going to say was it is a balance. It has to be a balance. I came from a household that my dad was the same thing. He worked, worked, worked. He was gone all the time. He had conferences here and there. He was in Baton Rouge at the Capitol all the time working on legislation. I mean, he was gone a lot. And in the 90s, a six-figure job was- Something. And in the 90s, a six-figure job was nice. It was nice.

We didn't live too hard of a life, although there were times. But anyway, I think my dad made the decisions that he did because he felt like those were the right things to do at the time. Now here he is, 72, 72, 71. And it's almost every time I see him now, he apologizes and wishes that he could go back and change things and not work so much and be a part of the family and, you know, be there for the different things that we had going on, be there for my softball games and be there for whatever, you know? And I mean, at the time my dad was doing what my dad felt like he needed to do to keep the family afloat. And he did, but that also meant that dad was gone. And do I love him any less for that? No, I don't. I took advantage of every time I could get with my dad. I don't know so much how

my parent, I mean, my sister's relationship with him were as far as like making sure that I'm spending time with him. But, you know, I was also the kid that was being dropped off at high school and I wasn't, you know, like I wasn't embarrassed by my dad. My dad would drop us off on the way to work and hugging and kiss and have a great day. Love you, dad. It was, you know, he would call out the window, you know, whatever. But, um, I think it's just a balance that you have to figure out between you and your wife and what, what kind of household do you want your child to be raised in? And then with that decision might come a change in your lifestyle. Your lifestyle might change in order to do that, to make up for that time where you're not at home or working so much. And then your stress level, you have to also think

of your health. And, you know, that's why I quit my job at the museum was because my stress level was so high. I was not home. And I was it was a time in our family's life where I had a young child and I needed to be home more. I needed to be from a lot of the things that I was doing and what I was involved in. I don't know. And it was because, does the pay cut still scare me? Yeah. Not having that extra money in the checking account every two weeks or we get paid every, we get paid twice a month. But anyway, that's here or there. But every time that paycheck hits, it hurts a little bit. And it's like, God, I could be doing more. I could be making more, but I'm sacrificing family life and family time and stress. You know, I would be having, I would have more stress, probably a commute, you know, all that stuff. And it's just not worth the paycheck. It's not worth that much more money to do that. And the thing I'll point out is that

what I feel like is more important than the quantity of time you spend with your child is how you spend that time. Because I've known people that, yeah, they're home a lot, but they're not present. All that goes back to Kyle's cell phone and social media. They're not talking to their kids. They're not listening to their kids. They're not spending time with them. They don't, like, you know, what we did today, yeah, we spent a bit of time, you know, kind of goofing around. We worked around the house.

We went to Lake Fride. We did a lot of stuff. But, like, the three of us were engaged in each other almost the whole day so i think what's more important because like it's it truly is i saw a meme on facebook on instagram and i love to quote it because it really like at least again from the like the man's perspective this really rings really true. But it said that every hour I worked is an hour I took for my family and sold for money. But here's the trick. If you sell zero of those hours, you have no way to provide for your family.

If you sell all of those hours, you have no time left to give to your family. So it is a balancing act. to your family. So it is a balancing act. But wherever you find that balance point, I say that an hour that you spend knowing Kyle's family and the age of his child, an hour you spend playing with your child on the carpet will mean more to him, I would think, than six, seven, eight hours of just being in the same room with him while he veges out in front of the TV. So, like, I truly believe it is a quality over quantity thing. I mean, my dad's probably listening right now. He worked. Yes, he just said that there are things that he would do different.

And my dad worked a lot when he was young. When I was young, he was on call a lot. I mean, I've told the story before, if not here, definitely to you, about how, like, I can remember a Father's Day. He was gone first thing in the morning to work. He came home. He was home about five minutes when his phone rang. He had to turn around, go right back to work. And we didn't see him till the next morning. And that happened a lot. I mean, there were a lot of, it was difficult to plan anything because he was on call, but he made decent money. He took care of the family. We never went without.

We never had anything we didn't need. But what I remember about my father when I was younger is all the things he taught me. He's the one that taught me most of the things I know how to do. He's the one. Yeah, I know. I won't belabor the point. The point is. No.

Belabor it. You can belabor it all you want. Not after that. I'm just laughing because of how much I hear, and he knows this too. Do you know what your father-in-law would say? Do you know what your father-in-law would say? I do. I know exactly what he would say.

But I guess my point is, like, that's what I remember. I remember everything he taught me. I remember everything he taught me about how to grow up, how to be a man, how to be a husband, how to be a father, how to take care of things around the house, how to work with my hands, how to be a gentleman, but not a pushover. He taught me all those things. And I would say that to Kyle or any man out there that struggles with that balance of how much time do I take for my family and sell for a dollar, it's you do as much as you have to. And then the time you have left with your family, you make it count. Yeah, how much is your time worth?

That's what somebody told me. I think it was you. It may have been you when I. It sounds like a Phil statement. Yeah, how much is your time worth? And so. Well, and I've probably also told you how much is your time with your child worth? Because like that little pre-teenager is like rocketing towards the day.

And neither one of us knows when it'll be. But she's rocketing towards the day. She wants to spend more time with her friends than she does her parents. No. It'll happen one day. And that's normal. That's when a child kind of starts coming into their own and figuring out who they are separate from I'm so-and-so's child. But that's the reason

why at my workplace, I push back gently against rising above a certain level in that organization because I know once I do, the time requirement goes way up. And it's like I tell everybody. I'm like, as long as I have my child that she wants to sit on the couch, she wants to sit on the edge of my bed and watch a show at night, she still wants that time with mom and dad all the time. I'm not willing to sell any more of this time to work. And that was what I told you back when you were working in the museum. How much of the Saturdays that you're working that we're home, is it worth missing out on for a few thousand dollars a year more? Yeah, I know that. And that's why when you said that and then I had the opportunity to go back to teaching or go back to this school. I had to consider that and it wasn't worth, it wasn't worth any of that.

And that's why I did what I did. But yeah, there's a reel. It made me think of it. It's, I see it on Instagram and Facebook all the time. And it's obviously it's different, but there's audio that goes to it. And I'm not going to say it right because I never do. It's obviously it's different, but there's audio that goes to it. And I'm not going to say it right because I never do. But it's something like, you know, it really hit home when someone said to me that right now I'm responsible for the way that she remembers her childhood.

And it's like, oh, dang. Yeah, that's dang. I am responsible or we're responsible for the way that she remembers her childhood. And then tie it back towards the topic what do you think she's going to remember about her childhood is she going to remember the fact that you you drove a jeep and not a lexus or mercedes I don't think so do you think she's going to remember that we lived in this size of a house not a great big huge house so I do worry about that because she will be going to a pretty – and so I worry about that because I was talking to a mother of someone who did go to this school. And she's had all great things to say except that, sure, tuition is $11,000 a year.

But then you have to think of the dance is $60, and the football games are this, and they're going to have to go on this, and the kids are going to be doing this, and your daughter's going to want to do that, too. And it might be $150 to do that event or whatever. And so there are things that I'm not considering simply because I'm naive and don't know what to expect when she gets in high school. But I'm hoping beyond hope, but I know because she's going to be a teenager, that she is going to have some level of wanting to keep up with the Joneses, wanting to keep up with her friends while she's going to this high dollar private school. I think if she were in public school here, she probably wouldn't feel that desire or that urge to keep up with all of her friends. But all of her friends that are going to this school, most likely, I would say 98% of them have the means to go and still have the means to live in a five-bedroom home on the lakefront.

You know, and mom and dad do drive Mercedes, you know. So I mean, and she has said it before when we went back to this private school that, you know, she wanted some friends to come over. that, you know, she wanted some friends to come over and she told me that they had a discussion at lunch and that, you know, and she told them, well, my house isn't very big. It's not like your house. It's not, you know, it's a small house. And luckily her friends were like, and what's your point? You know, they didn't care. Um, now one person has come over and I'm like, wow, your house is really little. And it's like, well, you know, we don't have four bedrooms and two stories and a pool in the backyard. So sorry. But, you know, I also wanted to say a couple more things, but I didn't. But anyway, so. You know what's even smaller than my house? The tent that you're sleeping in tonight.

That's right. But I know that she's already had those conversations with friends of but I know that she's already had those conversations with friends of having the smaller house and having the smaller bedroom and not having all the, you know, she doesn't have a big TV in her bedroom, and she doesn't have, you know, the iPhone and the iWatch and everything. She doesn't have any of that stuff. And so I just worry about how much harder it's going to get for her once she does get into high school. And maybe it won't be. Maybe she'll be going to this high school with hundreds of kids there and she finds a friend group that's two or three girls.

And they could care less because they're getting to spend time with her. You know, I don't know. I don't know what it's going to be like. But as a mom, I worry. I do worry because we don't keep up with the Joneses in a lot of ways, and this is not a drag on you. It's not. I'm picking, I know.

In a lot of ways, we can't keep up with the Joneses. We have other goals and priorities that need to be met, and we don't keep up with the Joneses. I drive an eight-year-old car. If I were truly trying to keep up with them, I'd go out up with the Joneses. I drive an eight-year-old car. Like, if I were truly trying to keep up with them, I'd go out and buy the next model, you know, and put us further into debt of what we don't have. Does that make sense? Okay.

I'm trying to make sense here. But at the same time, to counter that, I feel like that kind of falls upon us to try to teach that as much as we're able. Yes. Because what I remember from like the last time she had friends over, and I don't know when this became a thing, but I remember when they came over and one of them just randomly brought up, hey, can we make cookies? And I was like, I'll do one better. We can make cookies from scratch.

And we, all of us got up in that kitchen. Yeah. Flinging around flour and sugar and butter and eggs. And like we literally whooped up chocolate chip cookies from scratch. And apparently they've talked to their other friends. That was apparently noteworthy that, oh, yeah, we were over at Piper's house. And her dad just like volunteered to make chocolate chip cookies at, you know, at like eight o'clock at night for no reason, or then we wanted cookies.

So I guess to me, like there are things that I place a higher value on than big house and the opulence, the appearance of wealth. And I can only hope that we're able to teach her that because like there was a time when a time when living the big house driving the big car wasn't a sign of wealth your mortgage being paid off was a sign of wealth you know yeah to an adult but to a kid i don't know maybe there were people out there that that played this game too but we would play the game of you you're going down the road and um you're looking at the houses and you're like, ooh, I want to live there. Ooh, I want to drive that car.

Or ooh, they're rich. They have two stories or whatever. You know what I mean? And so it's like what your dad said is you didn't have everything your friends had and it worked out. But when you think about it as a child, sure, it worked out. it as a child, sure, it worked out. But thinking of it as a mother wanting to protect her child from that insecurity that may not even be there, but hopefully doesn't develop. It's just, it's, it's a different viewpoint. Like I'm looking at it differently. Like, I don't know. I think about the game that me and my sisters and cousins used to play. Like,

ooh, I'm going to live there. Ooh, that's going to be my house. Look at it. It's two stories and they're rich. Blah, blah, blah. And I think about it now as a mom of she doesn't have a two-story house. She doesn't have the fancy cars in the driveway. She doesn't have a bedroom that's the size of this house. You know, she doesn't have a playroom.

Stuff like that. That size of this house. You know, she doesn't have a playroom, stuff like that. That's all. Yeah. No, I mean, and I can definitely, again, maybe, yeah, we've been talking a lot about how adults fall into that trap, but it's probably equally possible for children to. Where do they develop it from? Absolutely. They're watching their parents.

And that's kind of my suspicion is that, I mean, at the end of the day, I do feel like children take on a lot of the traits of their parents. But that's also why, like, and you and I have also struggled with Piper about, like, how do we discuss finances with her? Like, there are times that I just have to tell her, like, honey, dad, can we stop and get tacos? Nope. Can't afford it. And I'm not shy about admitting that to her. I want her to understand that, you know, like I have to live on a budget. I can't just raid the savings account every time we want tacos or a vacation.

I mean, it wouldn't last very long if we did that. But that's also not what you say. You don't say, no, we can't afford it. You'll tell her it's not in the budget. Or we've already used that part of the budget. I mean, like we did it the other day. I guess in my mind. Well, in your mind it does, but you think about it, how you're saying it to a child. I can remember being told we can't afford that. And not me being a child automatically thought,

well, we're poor. Why are we poor? Why can't we afford to do this? I don't think that's what she thinks, but I do. I don't know. Telling her we can't afford it to me is kind of like cringe, but it's probably just because of the way I was raised and grew up. I think you probably have some scars from that. I definitely do. But saying, like we we talked about it.

Before we even drove up into the restaurant the other day, you told both of us, I've budgeted out to eat time twice this month, and that's it. And so we decided, okay, tacos it is today. Well, you know, it's going to be maybe Thanksgiving is the next day. I don't know what we're going to do, but there could be another taco night or whatever, a sushi night or whatever. But anyway, I think telling her it's not in the budget is probably a little bit easier for her to swallow. But it also is teaching her we live on a budget. You know, I want her to understand the paycheck doesn't just hit the stop it. Do you know what your father-in-law would say at a moment like this?

Please tell me, Carl Jr. Even Bill Gates lives on a budget. I know. But they don't. They have to be brought into this. Even Bill Gates lives on a budget. He has a bunch more zeros than mine does. Yes.

Good God. Yes. But I think it's important for her to understand, and she does because we go over the budget with her, that we do live on a budget. And from the time I met you, budget was a bad word. We couldn't live on a budget. budget was a bad word. We couldn't live on a budget. Budgets meant that, no, no, when I was younger and we were just dating, it was. Budgets were a bad word. Do you remember literally what you said? I'm not going to do that. I can't live like that. I don't know. What did I say? If you can remember

that far back. The literal words you used with me was, I don't want to live like we're poor. Well, talk about scars. But you equated we have to budget our money with, oh, we're poor. And to me, like the inverse of that. Phil was like, oh, hell, I'm not marrying this one. Oh, yeah. Though I think we were already married at that point. No, we weren't married.

We weren't married. No, we were because married at that point. No, we weren't married. We weren't married. No, we were because we had that argument in the apartment. Okay. How do you remember these things? Because it left an impact, obviously. Obviously. Left an imprint. Did you question me?

Did you question whether or not you wanted to be married to me? Well, it was too late then. But no, I did have a moment, though, where I was like, oh, this is going to hurt. Her, not me. Oh, it's going to hurt both of us, but it's going to hurt. But no, because here's my problem. And now that you and I have been together for 15 years and talk more, I totally understand. We've been married for 15.

Yes, married for 15 years. I now totally understand why that was your point of view. I don't agree with it, but I at least understand where you were coming from. But to me, if we have to budget we're living like poor people, if that, if I was going to accept that, then the only way to not live like poor people was to have so much money we didn't have to budget, which is impossible. But Bill Gates has so much money, he really doesn't have to budget. Do you think Bill Gates could spend himself into the poorhouse if he tried?

No. I think he could. I mean, maybe if he was buying Island Nations. Walk into a casino, bet the farm, one chip, turn the wrong way. Here's the thing. The number of people whose families two, three generations back were millionaires and now the kids are broke, how many times has that happened?

One that I know of for sure. Yes. Well, but I guess my point is that there are a lot of people who they were born with generational wealth and they've managed to spend themselves in a poor house because they didn't know how to manage their money. There's a book written about my family's loss of money. Oh, I want to read it. Really? Yeah. Have I ever told you this?

It's called Serpent on the Rock. Are you, like, messing with me? No, I'm serious. Dead serious. It's about- Oh, I need to Google when we get home. It's about my family and how members of my family lost the family millions. Interesting.

Serpent on the rock. Anyway. I thought I told you that. I don't think you ever told me there was a book. I would have definitely asked for a copy of it. Yes. But I guess to me, like what it boils down to is like, I jokingly refer to this as like self-inflicted poverty where it's like that's not

the budget that's on the budget that's on the budget when the truth of the matter is we both know if i wanted to take us out to eat one extra time for tacos yeah it's not like i couldn't it's just the fact that like i i am intentionally stabbing the brakes because this much is earmarked for retirement this much is earmarked for 401k this this much is earmarked for retirement. This much is earmarked for 401k. This is much is earmarked for savings. Like these, I treat these things like bills. Not like, oh, I'll put away whatever I can at the end of the month if I have extra money.

Because if you do that, you never have extra money. It always gets, you always find something to spend it on. Right. Taquitos and Amazon and, you know, Chick-fil-A and everything else. But the people who treat savings like bills, like it's non-negotiable, the money has to go in there. I'm only taking the money out under the direst of circumstances. Those are the people that have money in savings. And again, probably about 50 minutes ago, I said 80% of our generation does not have $1,000 liquid assets they could access right now. And that terrifies me because I have many, many times more than that on standby if

necessary. Like, you know, there is a wad of cash in house, and you know where it is. And that is like the credit card, or not the credit card, the debit card doesn't work. I need gas. I need groceries. Go get the cash and go get it done. Make it happen. We'll pull it out of savings or checking when things are straightened out. We'll figure that out, but go get the immediate needs met. But the fact that there are so many people in our generation that like 20 bucks would constitute an emergency for them.

That scares me. That's me sometimes, though. I don't want to like make it like we are 100% secure in our budget and all that stuff because there are days, there are months where it's like I'm holding on to the last $13 in my checking account. But do you have money in savings? I do have money in savings. That you could fall back on in an emergency. I could, but I don't like to do that. But there lies the trick.

That is you saying that $20 left in my checking account, that is what is budgeted to be spent. Once that money is gone, it's gone. The money that's in savings isn't there for when I run out of money in my checking account. It's there for emergencies. So like that's, that goes back to the idea that like, I continue to say like, I, I really push back really hard against this, this whole culture of keeping up with the Joneses in all facets. I try my very best not to compare myself to other people financially. I'm really good about not comparing my looks

to other men. Like I just don't care. I don't know. I have weird headspace and wiring about that. Like I just... I don't think that's weird. I think that you're not part of the... You're just not part of the crowd in that aspect.

You know, like I said, most people are going to compare themselves to others. If you're not comparing yourself physically to other men, then you're, to me, you're ahead of the game. But I do struggle. As long as you continue to keep your appearance. I do this for you, not for anybody else. The beard? My physical appearance. The beard? Do you, not for anybody else. The beard? My physical appearance. The beard?

Do you like the beard? Is it for me? Do you like it? What if I said shave your beard? Shave? Off. I need like written authorization, signed and triplett with a witness before this beard comes off. Because it's going to be two years to grow it back.

But is the beard for me or for you? Both. So now this works. But even though I mean, Kyle says you're hiding the money in the beard. But here's the thing of it. Even though I don't compare myself to other men physically, I do compare myself financially. I mean, that's hard not to do. And I don't know how much of that is just wired into young men but like it is hard to I have to consciously resist that trap I have to consciously remind myself I see what they have but I don't know what they're doing to make that happen like I don't know how much debt yeah I I never felt bad about having a five six seven eight year old pickup truck in the driveway I never felt bad about having a 5, 6, 7, 8-year-old pickup truck in the driveway.

I never felt bad about having a Toyota whenever people have a BMW or Mercedes. Because in my head, I think to myself, that's a $330-something a month truck payment. I know. I can't wait to have $400 extra in my savings account. Yeah. But here's the trick. I look at that BMW, that Mercedes, that whatever that somebody else has, that Mustang, that Corvette, and I'm like, oh, I can only imagine how much

fun it is to pay six, seven, $800 a month for that. I can only imagine how much fun that is. I'd cry. So I can remind myself through that exercise of, because again, finances and economics is kind of my thing. I know what certain things cost. I know what interest rates are, even for prime interest. And most people don't have prime credit. We do, but a lot of people don't. So I can run those numbers pretty, I can run the rough numbers in my head. I can pull out a calculator if I really need to, but like, it's not hard for me to look at somebody's stuff and say, I know what that costs them if they had to finance it. And

knowing the statistics, most people do have to finance it. So I can talk myself off the ledge from that, but it is still, it does still get to me sometimes when we're sitting, you know, we're sitting here, everybody wants to go to the beach, everybody wants to go on a vacation, and I think to myself, I'm like, I just don't have that in the budget right now. I've got this pot that needs to get up to this level. And then once we're here, then we can, it wouldn't take long at all to put away for a couple thousand dollars for a vacation. But until we get there, I have this real deep seated, like feeling in the pit of my stomach about our emergency fund is not where I want it to be. Even though I know that emergency fund is still many times greater than most people's, you know what I'm saying?

I know. I refer to this as self-inflicted poverty because it's one of those things where it's like, even as I talk somebody through this, I keep kicking myself in the behind because i'm like i know this situation is so much better than most people's but it's still not what i've what i was gonna yeah that's what i was gonna say is that we're it's not like we're in a bad way we're we're ahead of the game for most of the people in our generation but But I'm still looking at getting a second job. You know, I'm still considering getting a second job to put Piper in private school. And it's not because we can't afford it.

Could we afford it today? Yeah, we could. It would mean a change in the budget and a change in lifestyle and things like that. And I think that there's things coming, hopefully. We're hoping for a change in your position at work. And fingers crossed that every year we get a raise at school and stuff like that. But would it be nice to not have to worry where the money is going to come from?

Like what part of the budget is the money going to come from? Yeah, it would be nice. And so maybe I work during my summer breaks or maybe I get a part-time job where I'm working from home and I go and work on my summer breaks and things like that. I don't want to give up my summer breaks, but if it has to happen it has to happen yeah and this is also one of those moments of time where i remind myself like even to not even to not compare to people compare ourselves people that are in the same part of their life as we are where we're still trying to build something i try not to compare myself to people that are further along than we are you know i'm saying people that are 10 years down the road, their kids are at,

their kids are out of school. They're kind of spreading their wings or further along their careers. They have more money saved up, less debt, and they're able to do more than we are. And I think to myself, I'm like, you know,

it's not unreasonable that if we stay on the trajectory we're on in 10 years, we'll be there. Yeah. I mean, it's important to make sure we're putting things in perspective. Yeah. We're 39 and 41.

We owe on the house and my car, and that's it. That's it. And I mean, just based on like- And private school. Well, and based on like. And private school. Well, and based on equity. I mean, we owe probably 40% of the house based on its home value. So that's what? The bathroom? The bedroom?

Maybe a little bit of the living room? The important parts. The kitchen. The kitchen. But yeah, I mean, I guess that it is, and maybe this is a good way to kind of like start wrapping this up. It's like I do think that's super important whenever you fall – like I think in a perfect world, we would never try to keep up with the Joneses. Yeah.

We would establish our plan, which is based on our financial goals, financial goals including what age you want to retire at, how you want to retire, what kind of a lifestyle do you want to live in your retirement. If you want to live hand-to-mouth in a retirement home, go for it. If you want to live kind of high on the hog, you better plan for it. But I think you have to figure out what your plan is, and then you have to put yourself on a trajectory to make that plan happen. And I think the worst trap any of us could fall into is to deviate from that plan because we're looking at short-term gain. I need to live up here so I can compare to my neighbor versus I'm going to live here because this is where the plan is. I'm going to put this money away in savings. And in 10 years, when he's still paying you know two thousand dollars a month between his house and his car and all of his stuff and i'll have my car paid off i'll have

money in the bank i'll have more of my house paid off i'll have more money in retirement yeah like every to me everything in life can be very easily divided into two buckets. There's the bucket that I have for right now, and then there's the bucket that I put away for later. And I have always been a person in the time, I feel like in the time you and I have known each other, where I've always been, my default position has always been put away in the bucket for later. Save money, work harder now so we can have it easier later.

Like that's always been my way. And I believe based on people I've seen who have done the same thing I'm doing, that there is profit in that down the road. But I am also occasionally reminded that sometimes it's nice to have money in the now bucket so we can have some fun along the way and not like, you know, retire at 55, never having gone on a vacation ever again. Right. Right. And just thinking, just kind of like going over everything that we talked about, keeping up with the Joneses isn't just the financial aspect. There's also the emotional

keeping up with them and Facebook, I mean, social media and, you know, all that stuff that goes with it. And I think that's probably, I don't know, maybe it's not harder, but I think it might be harder for people. What about the people who watch somebody else on Facebook, this portrayal of perfect marriage, the perfect life, husband and wife are always smiling and hugging on each other and never fight and never argue. You think people fall into that trap a lot of, well, my marriage must be awful. Like these two, they never fight. They never argue.

Anybody that tells you they never argue with their spouse is not just a liar. They're a damn liar. That's one. And this is going to sound so like probably egotistical. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I have always feared falling into the trap, you and I falling into that trap, being on social media and having the podcast and people watching us, people even knowing us, of them thinking that we have a perfect marriage.

That's why I start arguments with you in front of them, like at the very beginning of the show, so they can see it. Okay. Whatever you say, Phil. Way to like totally. Well, I'm glad that you showed them that our marriage isn't perfect, but I don't want to be that person. I don't want someone to look at us and be like, our marriage needs to be like Phil and Gillian's.

Because the mic isn't always on and the camera's not always on. And you don't get to see the ugly part. Shut up. The mic is always on. You just don't always realize it. We are going to fight. You're going to see it right here. I'm going to have a bruise right here on the top of my hip. When you see that right hand going at the table.

You're not going to see it, though. They're not going to see it. I leave my bruises in places that don't show up on camera. Y'all pray for me. But oddly enough, I do wish other people had a marriage like ours. I do, too. We're great friends, and we goof around a a lot and we love each other dearly. And I feel like we have a lot of respect for each other, a lot of appreciation for each other.

But don't ever think for a split second we don't fight, we don't argue, don't ever think we haven't had some knockdown drag outs. I don't want, you know, there's obviously never any time that I just, the sound of your voice and your face just make me want to punch a wall. I've got the, do you want me to like take a picture of that for Instagram? There is a hole in the door. There is a hole in the door that I have not fixed. And I might not.

That was an extenuating circumstance though. I was on medication that made me, that was a side effect was you could have like serious depression or you could have anger rage. And I had anger rage. And I don't know what you said. You probably said, baby, you're the most beautiful thing in the whole world. And I, I don't know. I don't remember. She was on those Hulk pills back then. Oh, man. We went through a lot of medications that did not work. Yeah. But I guess to my point, I think that you can take the idea of keeping up with the Joneses and apply it in a variety of ways.

I think that I personally, and this is probably going to be like a no dumb moment for the audience but like take it to heart i feel like i feel like the best way to beat this though is to not look outside yourself or your relationship for validation do not look at your neighbors for validation of am i doing well enough do not look at other marriages to say am i am i do or is our relationship doing well enough? Do not look at other marriages to say, is our relationship doing well enough? Don't do that. Focus your energy on yourself, your spouse if you're married, your relationship if you're not married. Focus your attention inwards and focus your energy there. And I feel like you will improve whatever is there to your own benefit and to your eventual happiness. But I find it incredibly toxic and damaging to look outside for that validation.

Like I look at it that way financially. I certainly look at it that way from a relationship standpoint. Like I don't care what the rest of this world has to offer as far as Timmy and Tina and whatever they do. I don't care. My focus is on my relationship with my wife and making that as fulfilling as it can be for the two of us. And I don't care what the rest of the world is doing. So, I mean, to me, that is the takeaway. Is keeping up with the Joneses, I feel like it's a very natural inclination, and I feel like everyone is susceptible to it in one way or the other.

At the exact same time, I feel like it is incredibly toxic and damaging, and you should, to any degree you are able, cast that off. Agreed. This is a good show, Phil. I'm glad you thought of it. Right? Say that one more time. Glad I thought of it. Anyway, so if you go down to the show notes, not us, but you as the listener of this podcast, you will see quite a few different links. And those links take you to amazing places. One of those is to our merch page by Tiffany and Chris Brandon.

And we have new merch up there, especially for Raising Values Now, which I'm excited about. The duct tape and glitter shirt is a thing now. Duct tape and glitter is a shirt. There's quite a few that you can choose from. I'm excited about. The duct tape and glitter shirt is a thing now. Duct tape and glitter is a shirt. There's quite a few that you can choose from. So, yeah, go check out the merch page. And there's new tumblers and stuff like that.

You can get a duct tape and glitter tumbler. You can get just the logo. It just depends on what you want and what colors. I kind of want a duct tape and glitter tumbler. Yeah, I kind of do, too. I kind of want all of it. But tumbler. Yeah, I kind of do too. I kind of want all of it, but anyway. So you'll see that. You will also see the link to become a patron.

So visit our Patreon account or page or whatever it's called. If you would like to become a patron, there's a lot of fun things that are happening with the patrons of the Raising Values podcast and the Matter of Facts podcast. And if you are a patron listening to this episode right now,

you have until November 12th to turn in your address and your name to our secret Santa. And it is mo MOFSanta. At Protonmail.me If you're a patron. Go to Patreon. Log in. And you'll see a post that will explain the rules of engagement. Anyway what I'm trying to do is.

Phil. Is I'm trying to market that our patrons. Are able to participate. In a Secret Santa. It's countrywide. I wouldn't say worldwide because we don't have a patron anywhere in the other parts of the world. But anyway, it is countrywide.

So you will be – our little Secret Santa elf is going to select your Secret Santa, and we will be able to mail stuff out. So Kyle asked if we autograph merch. The merch actually doesn't come from here. It comes directly from Southern Gals. But if you buy it and we see you, I will be happy to autograph it. If you bring it to the camping trip. Because you're a patron, and you get to go on the camping trip as a patron.

Do you see what I'm trying to do there? Thank you for that little tidbit of marketing there, Kyle. The other thing you'll see down in the show notes is not a link. It would have been the link to Prepper Broadcasting, which the podcast network we're a part of. would have been the link to Prepper Broadcasting, which the podcast network we're part of. And what you're seeing now is www.prepperbroadcasting.com because we have apparently pissed off the social media overlords at Meta, and they do not like apparently the entire podcasting network because they have blacklisted that podcast network's page.

They've ransacked Raising Values and Matter of Facts and Toolman Tim and at least two other content creators on the network I can think of. It's been fun. Oh, yeah. We lost 20 weeks of content on Facebook. Yeah. And that's on top of, that's on top of being so incredibly heavily throttled that like even listeners of ours are not, are not seeing most of the stuff we post on Facebook. Your dad, your dad. Supplementing your budget with coupons for your spouse. spouse. Can't with y'all. Can't. Can't. Anyway, yes. So you'll have to take that link that's not a link and put it into a search engine or something and put the dots in. Take the spaces

out. You get it. You get the point. But yeah, we've been targeted. And I just think it's funny how here we are on Facebook facebook if you're watching us from facebook then surprise no one is watching from facebook but the stream is there the stream is there yeah but i guess what i'm saying is like just be aware you know you're not seeing you're probably not seeing a lot of the content if you're looking at facebook if you or instagram yeah you're gonna have to very intentionally and directly like go check out raising values page or get in touch with us another way. But it's just worth pointing out.

Like I don't, I don't know if our days are numbered on that platform or not. They might be, they may not be where we in that network are trying to make some decisions about how we respond to this. Yeah. But we're not rage quitting the internet or get rid of the podcast. Quite frankly, we enjoy it, but we have some tactical decisions to make.

Yeah. So, anyway. Stop trying to keep up the Joneses. Start paying attention to your own finances and your own marriages. And see y'all another week. See you in a week. Actually. Yeah.

Next week. What's next week? Yes. We will have a show next week and then the following weekend for the weekend of Thanksgiving, like Thanksgiving and then that weekend. No, I'm sorry. We will not. It is.

I'm confused. Hang on. Hang on. I will give you the date really quick. Stay here. Don't leave. Next week, we will have a show. Next week, we will have a show. The following week, it will be a pre-recorded show because we will be camping.

Unless we decide to take the mics with us and record a show out there around the campfire. That could be fun, too. We'll let you know. Don't look for it. I mean, look for it on Facebook. You're going to have to go search for it. But anyway, we'll let you know. Don't look for it. I mean, look for it on Facebook. You're going to have to go search for it. But anyway, we'll let you know. So y'all have a great week.

Thanks for tuning in this late, you know, because it's so dark outside. And watching me and Phil argue about our wonderful marriage. I'm joking. So joking. All right. I'm going to get beat later.

See you guys. Have a great week. Bye y'all. Bye. joking all right i'm gonna get beat later see you guys have a great week bye y'all bye Thank you.