The Prepper Broadcasting Network - Raising Values: Keeping Up With The Joneses at Christmas

Episode Date: December 17, 2023

https://www.facebook.com/RaisingValuesPodcast/https://linktr.ee/PBNLinkshttps://www.instagram.com/raisingvaluespodcast/http://www.mofpodcast.com/www.prepperbroadcasting.comhttps://rumble.com/user/Mofpodcastwww.youtube.com/user/philrabSupport the showMerch at: https://southerngalscrafts.myshopify.com/Shop at Amazon: http://amzn.to/2ora9riPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/mofpodcastPhil and Gillian previously talked about the danger of 'Keeping Up With The Joneses'. Never is the urge greater or the behavior more prevalent than around the holidays. A season of gift giving is often met by a corresponding financial crunch and more debt, but maybe the greatest danger is the lesson we teach our children along the way.Raising Values Podcast is live-streaming our podcast on YouTube channel, Facebook page, and Rumble. See the links above, join in the live chat, and see the faces behind the voices.family, traditional, values, christian, marriage, dating, relationship, children, growing up, peace, wisdom, self improvement, masculinity, feminity, masculine, feminine

Welcome to the Raising Values Podcast, where the traditional family talks. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Spotify, and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can support the Raising Values Podcast through Patreon. Phil and Gillian are behind the mic, and we hope you enjoy the show. welcome back to raising values good morning gillian thought we were having technical difficulties but i did i was like staring really hard at the computer going why isn't it working it could be a little bit of our eyes. We had kind of a late, not really a late night. It wasn't late. It was a long day.

I had a robotics competition. And sadly, we didn't advance to state. But that's okay. You know, we advanced last year. This year just wasn't a thing. But we did get an award. We got the Breakthrough Award. I read Kyle's comment and it kind of stopped me. And then we had a wedding. So our friends got married last night and it was such a cute little sweet family wedding and it was a lot of fun.

Yeah. And if they're watching, definitely congratulations. I mean, they're a beautiful couple and I told them both, you know, at the wedding. I'm like, y'all just take care of each other. They seem really good for each other. Yeah, I think they're great people, and I'm really glad that Piper's friendship with their oldest daughter has brought us into a friendship as well. So I'm glad we were able to experience that last night. So, yeah, it was just a full day. We got home by about nine o'clock and at 1030, I know I was snoring louder than the thunder that was happening outside. Like a

chainsaw. I was pooped and tired and yeah, done. So Kyle, your comment, I'm a little caught off guard. We are becoming prepper royalty i think is there something i'm thinking between him and joe probably the pictures you posted yesterday oh you did look quite smashing in your dress by the way thank you i worked really hard and that that i love that dress so thank you joe and thank you kyle um we don't need to focus the whole opening of our podcast on me. But thank you guys. Anyway, now that I'm totally flustered. So again, we talk about what we're going to discuss on the show during our walks. But last week, we only walked one time. Between Phil being sick and the weather, it's just been really rainy. And I didn't think it was going to get so rainy this winter so far.

Although it's not winter yet. It's still fall, technically. It's December. It's still fall. I mean, it feels like fall, but I thought by now it was technically winter. No, I don't think so. Okay. But anyway.

But I thought by now it was technically winter. No, I don't think so. Okay. But anyway. So keeping up with the Joneses at Christmas is kind of – it's very broad, the things that I wanted to talk about. It's not just the monetary and the financial aspects of buying presents and things like that for people. And I couldn't remember everything that I wanted to say. Cause we, we always talk about our bullet points and stuff while we're walking and neither of us are taking notes or anything like that.

Thank you. It's still full. Thanks Kyle. December 21st is winter. Thanks for looking that up. Um, but we didn't, we didn't put any bullet points down and,

uh, I got so aggravated with Phil because he interrupted me as I was going to say something. And I still to this day cannot remember what I was going to say. You took a breath. That is, for all intents and purposes, a natural pause. And I assumed that was my opportunity to insert into the conversation. I didn't realize that that was a natural pause that wasn't intended for me to start speaking. I was working out and couldn't breathe, and I was still trying to talk. It was a natural pause of, if I don't take a breath here at the end of this sentence, I might die. But anyway, I also wanted to talk about the emotional aspect of Christmas and how it's not everyone's favorite holiday. Like it's always been my favorite holiday right

up there with Halloween. And I can't explain why Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. But Christmas is like my favorite. I love all of the traditions. I love the new traditions that you and I have created for our family. I love the way our house looks and smells during Christmas. I don't particularly like the rush of Christmas. I think it just makes things so much more complicated. And it's definitely, you know, when you're a child, you don't get caught up in the rush because you're part of the rush. You're why your parents and adults are rushing around. And all you see is the magic that happens. At least for me, that was the case. I don't know,

was that the case for you? I mean, I think that's the case for the overall majority of children. You know, they see the end result of Christmas, not the obsessive compulsive frantic planning and rushing and preparing that goes into making all that stuff happen. You know what I'm saying? Like as a kid, we're all excited about the cookies on Christmas morning. We don't think about the fact that mom and or dad

was crammed in the kitchen for a couple hours the night before working on it. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. That's something that we as parents want to provide for our children is that experience. But when you become a parent, all of a sudden you're like, oh, wow, this is a lot of work to make all this happen. It is, you know, setting up the tree and cleaning tree and cleaning, getting the house ready and decorated. Because I love coming home to a clean house with all of the direct decorations out and seeing all of the red and green and gold and silver. And next year fills in for a big surprise. I told him the other day, I was like, I think this is the last year with this tree. We do fake trees. I was

scared to death as a child growing up. Every year my mother would take our tree outside after Christmas, and we would have the same presentation of see what happens when you don't water the tree, and she would light that thing up, and it was, I mean, gone. We did that one year. Yeah, and I got scared. I was like, our neighbor pulled out the hose. We pulled out our hose, and I was like, uh.

And I did the same thing for Piper. I was like, this is what happens when we don't want our tree. But we only burnt half the tree. I know, we didn't cut it in half. And the flames were like nine feet tall. It was impressive. I thought we were going to set the oak tree on fire. It wasn't that bad.

It was that bad. It wasn't that bad. So we do fake trees, but next year I want a flocked tree. So anyway, surprise. Great. So, yeah, and down here, so black powder therapist, I'm not quite sure who you are, but hi. Oh, hi, Eddie. That's your son.

I didn't realize that that was you. I'm so sorry. No, I feel like a real bad person bad mom bad mom um so down here i don't know if y'all do it wherever you're from but you can donate your old christmas trees to um wildlife and fisheries and they will go put it in um where we because we lose wetlands like i think it's like a football field size of wetlands every day in Louisiana. And so they will take old Christmas trees to restore the wetlands. And I've always thought that that was a really awesome thing to do. It's not good for the fishermen, but it builds the wetlands and it creates habitats for our animals.

And I love that. Better than filling up landfills with them. Absolutely. Well, I mean, eventually they they're gonna decay and rot away but they're not doing as much good in the landfill no but anyway so um i like coming home to the traditions of christmas and um i my my mother and i'm not going to speak ill of my mother but my mother is still of that mindset of if you don't if each one of my children don't have like 20 gifts under the tree, she's not a good mom. And I've always like, I mean, when I was a kid, it was like, cool, you know, all the gifts in the world.

But I know that I knew, at least as I was growing up, that Christmas was a time of sadness for my parents and that it was a financial struggle for them. But it wasn't because – wait, let me finish this. I didn't take a breath. It wasn't because – you got something to say? You got beef this morning? I'll say it later. He's grumpy this morning. It wasn't because their kids expected that many gifts under the tree.

I cannot tell you what I got as a kid. I can remember the bikes. And I would remember calling my cousin down who lived about three blocks down going, what did you get for Christmas when we would go back and forth? And we always got new bikes for Christmas. And I mean, I can understand that because every year a kid grows another six inches. But I can remember getting bicycles and a talk boy like Macaulay Culkin had on Home Alone. But I can't remember many of the gifts that we got. But I do remember the feeling of Christmas around our house because like me, my mother would decorate and there was

traditions and there were, you know, my mother would decorate and there was traditions and there were, you know, there was always something baking. There was always a smell in the house. It was just, and they would throw this beautiful party on Christmas Eve and all of our friends would come to the house. And so those are the things that I remember. And I, to this day, wish that my parents hadn't, really my mother mother hadn't killed herself trying to and putting themselves into some sort of temporary financial ruin because of christmas um just to have presents under the tree and that's something that we haven't continued we that is a tradition that we broke um piper does not get 20 gifts under the tree um she gets maybe three or four and then her stocking. But it's not

like, we're not going into financial ruin over Christmas. And then you and I, we said this year we weren't going to get each other something. You broke the armistice line. I haven't bought anything for you yet. You told me you did. That's why I got you something. I haven't bought anything for you. I said, I want to get you something. And me and Joe have been talking about, me and Joe have been talking about what to get you. I told her wrap a ribbon around herself and I'll call it even. Yes, but that's not a gift. Anyway, so God, this episode. Now that you're flustered, I can get a word in. So the meme I saw the other day is that no money November is followed by debt December. Oh, yeah.

And I saw that like just a day or two ago after we'd already said this was going to be our topic. And I was like, oh, wow, that is like, that is really on the nose. Because, yeah, I do know that this is a time of year where a lot of families, not even just for gifts, although that is a big part of it, but it's the gifts, it's the tree, it's the travel, it's the time off of work. And for people that don't have, like, PTO, that means lost wages. It's the clothes. It's the parties. It's the baking supplies. supplies it just goes on and on and on and on of people who just they they destroy their finances in the pursuit of like and this i think this applies to thanksgiving as well in pursuit of

the perfect thanksgiving the perfect christmas and then they spend the next three or four months dig themselves out of the hole they dug themselves into yeah and, I'll be the first to admit, I, I'm a bit of a spendthrift. I don't think that's an unfair statement. Some people would call me cheap. I'm very budget conscious and very focused on our finances. Cause like I, we've done really good to stay out of debt and I don't want to get into any. And like, I just, I know that the penalty for falling off that wagon one time can be weeks or months of pain to undo the damage. You know what I'm saying? It's like the definition of short-term

fun for long-term struggle. And when you said you want to talk about this today, that was what was in my head was like, for, I know I've, I have known people, head was like, I know I have known people. Matter of fact, I have coworkers right now. So annual bonuses usually come out about this time of year if we get them. It's kind of a foregone conclusion that they will. And I think there's an expectation of how people have an expectation in their head of how much that bonus will be. I've never predicated our finances on that bonus. Because in my opinion, until it shows me on my checking account, it doesn't exist.

I can't depend on it. Right. So I'm not going to like, that's not my Christmas money. But I know coworkers that do that. And therefore, they are, by definition of when that money hits their account, they're in a rush to try to get Christmas presents bought. They're in a rush to get anything done with that money.

And if the bonus ends up being less than they were expecting, they're eyeball deep in debt because the money's not there to repay what they've already spent. It's like it's this incredibly crippling cycle. I'm not reading that until I finish my thought. There's nothing there. My brain went somewhere else. It went to a text message that my friend sent me. And I can't show it to you.

I can't show it to you. Anyway, I'm listening. I am listening. I don't know what you just said, but now I'm listening. Squirrel. Anyway, I guess that's a long-winded way of saying like, I've seen, I've seen this time of year turn into a financial and an emotional hardship on a lot of people over the years. And I just, that, that frustrates me because to me,

what I get out of this time of year is I get to spend time with my wife and daughter. to me, what I get out of this time of year is I get to spend time with my wife and daughter. And that's all I really want. Like, I don't want to spend 12 hours on the road driving all over Kingdom Come. I don't want to spend hours, you know, killing myself doing anything. I just want to spend time with my family. Like, I don't mind being in the kitchen cooking, but I want to do it with my family. There's a theme developing here.

You know what I'm saying? It's not the money. It's not the monetary value. It's the time because the time is the one thing I don't ever feel like we get enough of together as a family. And it's the one thing I can't replace. Right. And see, I'm kind of a little bit of the opposite. I enjoy the time we spend in a car traveling to someplace that we want to go.

Like, we've had a couple of Christmas family parties in the past where it was kind of like, you know, we just have to go. We have to show our face and we'll be there for a few hours and then we'll be able to come home and blah, blah, blah. And now we just decided that that isn't even worth it. Like why put ourselves through the emotional struggle of going through that again? So we don't attend anymore, you know, wish everybody well and whatever. But I enjoy, say for instance, like I want to go to Alabama this Christmas at some point, it's only a two hour drive to Bellingrath Gardens to see the Christmas lights, to walk through the Christmas lights there. We did something in Gulfport last year in Mississippi at the Christmas lights. And if you're local, you know what this Christmas lights display is,

and it's really nice. But the one at Bellingrath Gardens is really, really pretty. And we love going there. I mean, that was our second honeymoon. We went there on our way home. And so I really want to do that. And so the anticipation and the drive of getting there and doing those things and maybe even creating a new family tradition to me is exciting. So I don't want to be around but still need to show my face kind of thing.

Where the anticipation then turns to anxiety and it zaps all the fun out of everything, you know? And I think we've done really good at knocking those kinds of things out of our life. Like if it doesn't bring us joy and things like that, and we have the decision to do those things, we don't, or we have, you know, we can, or we don't have to, then I think we're think we're really good now in our marriage and in our family saying, well, then we just don't need to do it. Why put ourselves through this? Why put Piper through the anxiety? Why put ourselves through this mess of, I really don't want to be there? And I understand as an adult, there's just things that you have to do sometimes that you just don't want to do. But I would think that for the most part, for most people, if I don't want to be there, I'm not going to go kind of thing.

So I think at least in this house, and correct me if I'm wrong, I think we've set up a household where Christmas is an exciting time. It can be a relaxing time. exciting time. It is a real, it can be a relaxing time. Like today we've decided that we're going to stay in pajamas all day. Like I'm wearing a great big shirt and not totally dressed up and all that stuff. So, I mean, what I'm saying is like, we're not running errands. All we're doing is the household chores of laundry and things like that. And we're just going to chill as a family today because yesterday we were apart all day. Yeah. You know, and that bleeds into Christmas and the time of year of holidays. And so Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that stuff.

And I think it's great that we've decided to do that. But I know that there are people. decided to do that. But I know that there are people, and I keep bringing up my mom because I just know, I don't think my mom meant anything bad by, you know, having the stressful rush of Christmas. I think she's always kept these visions in her head of what she wants things to look like and wants things to be like and things like that. And she really worked hard when we were kids to make those dreams into reality. And they didn't, like I said, in a magnificent job, our house was always transformed into this like beautiful Christmas wonderland kind of thing. And the parties and the gifts and all that stuff. But now as a mom, I understand it's not necessary because I don't remember anything about what I unwrapped under the tree.

And I don't think that she's going, Piper's going to remember the things that she gets under the tree either. You know, most of the things are given away in six months anyway to some sort of charity. I mean. Yes. Eddie, we do still. Yes. Not going to speak Too loudly about that Because she's in her room

But I'm still kind of I'm not quite sure If This might be the last year Well I'm not quite sure If the belief Is really there Or if

She's putting on a good game Get what I'm saying Yeah So yes We still do Santa Yeah or if she's putting on a good game. Get what I'm saying? Yeah. So, yes, we still do Santa. Yeah. Well, I mean, and what I would say about your mom is, like, your mom showed affection in the way that, you know,

like you remember the whole Love Languages book. Your mom showed affection in the way that she knew how to show affection. Yeah. And that was through gift giving. And, like, we have firmly established over 18 years that gift giving is absolutely like not my primary method of displaying affection. For me, it's... No, but it is my... It used to be. It used to be.

I'd say it's still there. I told you the other day, fill my stocking. You better fill my stocking. Y'all better help him. I'm going to fill it with charcoal. It's fine. It'll turn to diamonds. When I stick it up your behind.

Anyway, what were you going to say? Well, but like... Some random woman gets on here and says, call me, Phil. All right. If that wasn't your best friend, that would be concerning. But, you know. Dang. But like I said, I think for me, like, the thing I think about is the fact that, yeah, a lot of the things she's been given over the years, it was kind of a passing thing.

And yeah, we don't throw toys away in this house. We always donate them to a charity because there's a lot of very underprivileged children around this area. And we're the same way with, frankly, everything. I think the last bed we got rid of, the last couch we got rid of, we just gave it away to somebody that needed it. We didn't want money for it yeah it's not about i want money for this or i spent money on it it's about i don't have a use for it anymore you do and if a free couch or a free bed will help you get down the road or if a free couple of toys for your kids will get you down the road then please take it like not to be sappy or, you know, like in the Christmas spirit, but it really is just a, it's, it's just the, I don't know, call it community spirit, trying to help out your neighbor.

But I think to me, I think about the fact that the things that she's been given that meant the most to her, to me, and maybe this is a bit of my overly practical personality that made its way into her, it's the things she uses. You know what I'm saying? Like laptop. Her Nintendo Switch. It's been, frankly, blankets and clothing has been a big hit with her. Pillows. Pillows.

She's such a nest builder. Big fluffy socks to keep her feet warm. I mean, I guess to me, like, I've tried to think about why it is she latches on to those things. And it's because, I think it's because it facilitates something she's trying to do. You know what I'm saying? Well, like the laptop. She uses that all the time. She does.

She's on that all the time. And not just for games and stuff. She does use her laptop for homework instead of using her school laptop. She uses her home laptop. Yeah. But even like the big old blankets, you know, her Jedi blanket. It's like half blanket, half robe. And the big fluffy socks she has.

It's all because she just hates being cold. She likes to be warm. She likes to be snuggly. She likes to be snuggly and it gives her a sense of security. Yes. I don't think the warmth and all that stuff, yes, that adds into it, but it's the security that she gets from those things that she continuously goes back to, which is fine. I mean, it's like a teddy bear when you're a baby or, you know, whatever.

It's comfort. I'm trying to think of what I use for that, but it's not a pillow or a Jedi blanket, I guess. I don't know. I don't have those things. Ooh, it's my marshmallow blanket. I was about to say marshmallow blanket. It's my marshmallow blanket. Yeah.

So. Anyway. So. Anyway. So, yeah, I mean, I feel like we got ourselves way off subject. Well, we did, but not really because that was what I was trying to say on our walk is we don't need to just focus on the financial aspect of it. And I know that we named the show this episode keeping up with the joneses at christmas but christmas is you know like eddie said it's not um it's not always a fun time for people i know that my mom now gets she she always was sad at christmas and i think it was because she um i think because she felt like she wasn't doing enough that she got sad at Christmas. But now it's even more sad because she's lost her mom.

And, you know, Grandma passed away in August four years ago, I think it was. I feel bad about that. But she's been gone for a while. And so now Christmas is genuinely sad. And plus she's, you know, all of her kids are grown up in a way, all of her grandkids live somewhere else and she's got great grandchildren and, you know, they don't see their kids and grandkids as much anymore. And I think Christmas is just now a time, especially for two people in their seventies, that it just becomes sad. You

know, it used to be parties and used to be this big thing. And now it's not. I don't even think they put up a Christmas tree anymore. And it's sad to walk into their house and not see it. And, you know, I'm thankful that they're involved in their church. And they do have a church family and things like that. And they do things that keep them going for the most part. I mean, dad has a lot of health issues and things like that. And they, they do things that keep them, um, going for the most part. I mean, dad has a lot of health issues and can barely walk, but, um, I do think that it's,

it's important to acknowledge that Christmas is not always candy canes and reindeer for everybody, you know? Um, and, and I'm afraid, you know, once we were, once we were talking about this on our walk, I started to go through, um, conversations. Like recently I had a conversation with one of my coworkers whose son is about to graduate and they just, um, they just went and toured the Coast Guard facility that he's going to go to once he graduates and things like that. And she was talking about how sad it was because he was gone with his friends. Her husband was doing something else. And she set up Christmas by herself for the first time this year. And this poor, poor woman just, you know, we sat there together in the hallway and she just cried because, and then I started thinking to myself, it's not going to be that much longer. And it's going to go by so quick. She's almost in high school.

She's not going to live with us forever. And then all of this, you know, putting her first pair of shoes on the Christmas tree is going to mean something different when she's not walking through this house. And so I can see a time where Christmas might be sad. You know, it might be a little more depressing. And hopefully, hopefully we still have a good relationship with her and we'll be able to, you know, see kids and grandkids and things like that once she's an adult and has moved out.

But it's, you know, I know people are going through first-time Christmases in a different house. I know that they're going through a change in their family relationship. And I know that Christmas is just not going to be the same for them. And that's, it breaks my heart. But I think, I think it's also important. And it's one thing that I've talked to my friend about is maybe creating new traditions. You know, let's, let's not focus on the sad. We're here. This is where we are now. This is what we're doing now.

This is what this year has brought us. What can we do? You know, one of the things that, in fact, I need to talk to Kendra and Jessica about this is, and I wish my friend Jennifer was still in town that we could do this, but remember we used to go every year. My friend Jennifer was still in town that we could do this. But remember, we used to go every year. We would find a restaurant and we would call the manager unless we knew the waitress or whatever. And we would ask, do you have a staff member, a waitress or a waiter that could really use some help this Christmas?

And we would basically make a reservation or whatever. would basically make a reservation or whatever. And our tips, you know, I think at one point it was a hundred bucks each family that we would tip out to the waitress. And you know, how many times did they cry and chase after us? Yeah. I think I can remember, I can remember two occasions at least. Like one, they caught us at the table and the other time they caught us in the parking lot. I mean, they were just in tears because it's not every day you get a $400 tip. Which, you know, to us it was always, my summation of that situation was always every one of us, every one of us families who contributed to this, like we've all been blessed. We all have reasonable jobs, decent careers. We all kind of have our stuff together. And a hundred dollars was not going to break any one of us, but $400

could be Christmas for somebody, you know? So I don't know when, when you, the first time you brought that up to me, I was all in on it because it just seemed like something very much in the spirit of Christmas. Yeah. Last year we did it by ourselves. There was a lot going on with everyone and we couldn't pin down a date for all of our friends to get together to do this. So last year we did it for ourselves. And I can't even remember where we went. I think our first year we went to Cracker Barrel. And then the next year we went to a local Mexican restaurant.

And we've become friends. Or, you know, whenever I see that waitress, we're friends on Facebook and things like that. So there's relationships that have evolved from this tradition that we do. And I think last year we just did it by ourselves. And this year we need to do it. So, Kendra, if you're still watching or listening, we need to get together and figure that out, if we can, you know, if that's something that our families can do this year.

Yeah. But, yeah, and Kyle, working on Christmas, my dad did not work on Christmas. He was actually home for Christmas. I don't think you've ever missed a Christmas since we've been together. Not since you and I have been together. Right. I know you've missed Christmases being deployed, but since you and I have been together, you haven't missed a Christmas. You've been home.

Now, you've missed Father's Day, and you've missed know, anniversaries and things like that, but not Christmas. So I haven't been able thankfully to feel that, um, that sadness of you being gone. Uh, but my dad did, did not work during Christmas. He was actually able to take off at least a week, sometimes two when, um, when we were kids and my mom was always there too. And I don't work during Christmas now. And when I was in nonprofits, we were always closed on Christmas day anyway. So I was always at least home for Thanksgiving. And I was always at least home for

Christmas. Yeah. And I think that's a good idea too. Eddie is wanting Thanksgiving off to give someone else time with their kid on Christmas. It's important. It's a thing that a parent, you know, you always see it in movies and things like that. Parents watching their kids opening gifts on Christmas morning. And I can understand the sadness that my parents feel and most parents whose kids have left their home, grown up and left their home. That's not something that I look forward to. I don't look forward to waking up on Christmas morning and it being quiet and there's no one running down the hall to see what's under the tree and opening the gifts

and there's wrapping paper everywhere. And, you know, I love that stress and that, not the stress, but I love the craziness of our household on Christmas morning, even though it's just the three of us, and Christmas morning usually only takes about 10 to 15 minutes. You know, when I was growing up, there were three kids. And so, and again, my mom would literally, there were. Blow it blow it out i mean you couldn't walk by the christmas tree um and so yeah there was wrapping paper everywhere and you were losing your stuff it was just you were so full of just stuff and wrapping paper and what happened to all that stuff

and eventually just got given away probably you know and i don't even remember really what it was and i just don't want that for piper and that's something that you and i have discussed and agreed on and plus our financial financially we can't afford 20 gifts under the tree for christmas i mean we could we could we'd pay for that decision for quite a while but i would rather four or five gifts under the tree for Christmas and a trip to the beach in the summer. We already have a trip scheduled in the summer. I know. Nice try, though.

Dang it. That's what I want in my stocking. Sort of. Not really. Yeah, I'm sure Not really Anyway Anyway I mean, you could bring your bathing suit up to the lake

Well, it'll be June at the lake So yeah, I'll bring my bathing suit And we're staying in a fishing cabin That we can literally just jump off the balcony into the lake Perfect Well, duh I was gonna do it anyway so you say you don't need the beach

no i need the beach if i need the beach if both of her hands leave the viewpoint of this camera i'm probably getting pinched oh i was just gonna or Oh, your neck popped. Oh, sorry. Yes, I'm old, babe. Anyway. Anyway. So is there anything? I mean, we haven't talked very long for this episode. No, but I think, again, I think in my perspective, keeping up with the Joneses always devolves down into finances because of my perspective, my personality.

devolves down into finances because of my perspective, my personality. But I do think it also, like I was trying to talk about on our walk when I was told shut up because you were just breathing. I didn't tell you to shut up. I was angry at you because I tried to hold on to it, and the longer I repeated it in my head of what I needed to say, the angrier I got because you interrupted me. But anyway, go ahead. It just made me move faster. You're welcome.

Thanks. So the other thing I think happens a lot is I think parents feel the urge to try to keep up with their neighbors, their social circle, their friends, their family. The students at school. Yeah. So I think a lot of- Classmates, that's what I'm trying to say. I think a lot of parents, if they don't feel an internal pressure, like I want to provide

this for my children, they feel an external pressure. They don't want their kid to be the one who Christmas was a bomb or they don't want their kid to be the only one on the block that didn't get all the cool stuff. And I think it can place an inordinate and unfair amount of pressure on parents because it encourages that feedback loop of must give more, must do more. And it brings the stress, and it brings the anxiety, and then it brings the pain that comes before and after. And again, it turns into a rat race, the stress and it brings the anxiety and then it brings the pain that comes before and after.

And again, it turns into a rat race, which I like call me super sentimental. I'm guilty of that at times, but like to me, Christmas is really about, it is about like, especially for the two of us, the three of us being Christians, you know, Christmas is celebration of, it's a biblical celebration. It's Christian celebration. And for the people who aren't Christians, you know, Christmas is a celebration of, it's a biblical celebration. It's Christian celebration. And for the people who aren't Christians, it's still a time to take off from your normal day and spend time with your family and, you know, in the spirit of gift giving, participate in that. But no matter what your perspective is on Christmas, the one thing I don't ever want people to allow it to become is I have to keep up with that person over there. Right.

Because I think that is toxic to the parents. But the other thing I wanted to make sure I brought up was I think it's actually harmful to the children. Mm-hmm. Because I've seen children who they're constantly inundated with stuff. And as a result, two things happen typically. They become accustomed to this constant inundation of stuff that obviously escalates as they get older. The kids don't grow up, the toys get more expensive kind of thing. And if they don't, I mean, look, everybody's been on social media.

Everybody knows somebody in their life who fits this description, but like they'll get a brand, they'll get a brand new iPhone and get upset because it's not the pro model or somebody will buy somebody a car and they'll be upset because it's a used car. I mean, yeah, those are extreme examples of this. If anybody wants to buy me a new phone or car, go for it. I won't be upset. I might be. I'm joking. But I think what I'm trying to get at is what this devolves into is it devolves into institutionalizing an extremely materialistic personality in a child. And A, it's often an unsustainable personality because the want will always be greater than the have. Mm-hmm.

And you are literally like wheelbarrowing money into a pit trying to keep it full. But I think the other problem, and this is something that you and I have talked about a long time ago, I see a lot of 18, 19, 20 year olds who are living way beyond their means because when they lived at home with mom and dad, they got used to a certain standard of living that mom and dad could support because mom and dad had good jobs and had money. But when the kid first comes out of the house and they're making like minimum wage or barely above it working at Starbucks, they can't afford the brand new phone. They can't afford the expensive car, the expensive clothes. They can't afford it. It's not there. But they still want it because they've grown up with it.

So, like, for all these reasons, this is a very roundabout way of saying, I think that gift-giving, if it's done properly, is a very heartwarming and a great lesson to teach children, I think unrestrained gift giving ventures into the realm of being toxic because it's toxic to the giver and it's extremely toxic to the givee. Because one of those two parties learns that the only way I can show affection is through financial burden and the other one learns that the only way I can show affection is through financial burden. And the other one learns that the only way I'm shown affection is through being inundated with stuff.

Yeah. So like that's maybe I'm off base in that. I don't think so. I think because I've seen it in my own family of that is the way that they show affection is through gift giving. I think that's why my mom made it such a big deal to make sure her kids, and she still does it to this day, and they don't have the financial means that they did when we were growing up,

that she's going to continue to put themselves into the poorhouse because she feels like everyone deserves a gift or more than one or whatever. And so she gets so frustrated with me when she said, well, what do you want for Christmas? Nothing. Tell me something. No, I'm not telling you anything because I don't, I really don't want anything for Christmas. I can't even tell you what I want because my thing is if I want it, I'm going to buy it. If, if you want it, you can buy it. And so. But now you see why I get so frustrated when you ask me. You can buy it.

And so. But now you see why I get so frustrated when you ask me. Yeah. Well, I have my own competition in my own brain that I have to do something that is more, not more in such a way. It's just one gift a year. What have we been talking about for 40 minutes? It's one gift a year. It's not like I'm putting myself into the poor house or us into the poor house by giving you a gift. It's one gift. And it's usually not the most expensive gift that you've ever gotten

from me was the knife that Critsford made. And that was it. But does it stress you out? No, it really doesn't because now I have the wonderful gift of our patrons and the family that we've made through this whole podcasting thing in our life. That when I say, guys, what can I get him? Or, hey, what do you guys think about this gift? Then I have my friends coming in and sending me links. Here's this one. Why don't you look at this one? Try that one.

Oh, I know someone. So, yeah, thanks. I see who y'all like better, me or her. Thanks, guys. I'm just the prettier side of you. I'm not going to fight you on that one. No, and it's usually not anything that's going to break the bank or anything like that.

I'm going to look at some links that Joe is going to send me, some more links, and see how much those cost. But you might not get those. But anyway, I have to outdo myself. You know, you got a Viking mug one year. You got a Bowie knife that was custom made. And by the way, that ale horn was a hit. Every time I've pulled that out, that ale horn was a hit.

Every time I've pulled that out, like when I was doing a podcast with a guest, every single one has been like, what is that and where can I get one? Yeah. It's a hit. And honestly, I can't even remember everything I've given you to up my own self, up my own game. I don't know if you're even going to like, you might open this one and be like, really? Really, babe? This one? What am I going to do with this? You gave me a daughter you might open this one and be like, really? Really, babe? This one?

What am I going to do with this? You gave me a daughter. You can't one up that. Well, I know. Kyle says, Phil, you are beautiful. Thanks. I did give you a daughter. I mean, you helped a little bit, but.

A little bit. Anyway. Eddie's not going to leave that one alone. No, we walked right into that trap. Anyway, so I don't even remember where I was going with all of this. But I, nope, can't remember. See, this is the time when you interrupt me and then I get mad at you because now I can't remember. Maybe you did interrupt me.

You talked about Eddie and now my head is going, oh, great, what is Eddie going to say? And then I totally forgot about what I was going to say and the point I was going to make. Oh God. Anyway. So since we've spent 43 minutes talking about what not to do, do we have a prescription for like how to get through Christmas without driving yourself crazy or into the poorhouse? Um, I don't have a prescription for it. I can tell you what I do now.

That is a prescription. Go ahead. Excuse me while I pinch. First off, I have to keep at the forefront of my brain of she is spoiled, but she's not getting 20 gifts under the tree. It's not about the gifts. It's about what she's going to remember later on in life. And she's not going to remember any of these gifts. Of course, we focus on our Christian and religious.

And I know that Jesus wasn't born in December. I get that. But it is just the anniversary that we celebrate his birth. that we celebrate his birth. I think it's important to think about your child's future self and what you are creating when you go super crazy at Christmas. I think it's important to remember your financial well-being. And, you know, is it worth going into debt? And what is it going to mean later on down

the road, even in a couple of weeks or months when those NSF fees are hitting nonstop because you've spent yourself into the, you know, the ground trying to make sure that your child has gifts, which they're not going to remember anyway, you're going to give away in six months. So why put yourself through that? And why put your children through that? Why create a world of hardship later when, you know, just for the 15 minutes that they get to open the gifts? And you may not even get to, you may not even get the thank you and the whatever that you're expecting. I think it's important to just focus on the emotional side, not so much, not, and I said that, and then my brain went, yeah, well, what if the emotional side is them giving 15 gifts and spinning their, their selves and, you know, into the ground? Well,

you have some difficulty, you know, some difficult times ahead of you, if that's the way you think. You know, Piper is never going to get a $150 pair of Air Jordans or whatever, you know, shoes or, you know, heels or whatever. She's never going to get that under the tree. The most expensive gift she's ever gotten under the tree is a laptop, and that didn't come from Santa. The sun is beaming in, and it's making us look weird now. It didn't come from Santa. The sun is beaming and it's making us look weird now. It didn't come from Santa. Santa doesn't give expensive gifts. Mom and dad do.

But I think it's just important to keep reality in focus during Christmas. And to take breaks when you need to take breaks. And to make sure that you're not putting yourself into toxic situations, especially if you want to maintain a sense of harmony at Christmas. Nothing says you have to rush around. Nothing says you have to bake a thousand cookies. Nothing says you have to get a gift for all of your co-workers. Nothing says all that. I'm fortunate that this year that our Christmas cards Piper made. So if you get a Christmas card from us, Piper made that Christmas card. She drew the image on the front of the Christmas card. But I think that's really what I try to focus on is, yes, I do have a to-do list.

But it's just things that I feel like I can put on my plate. And when I'm overloaded and I can't put any more onto my plate, either something goes, maybe the Christmas cards go one year, or I just decide that that's not worth putting on my plate. It's not going to taste good anymore by doing that. Let's see. My recommendation is first and foremost. You're going to say everything that I'm going to say, but a little bit more eloquent, aren't you? Go for it.

I'm listening. Excuse me a second. No, what I was going to suggest was establish your budget first. That means budget for anything. Like I've been an enormous proponent, as boring as it is, of having a home budget, having a monthly budget. I believe it makes your finances work a lot better. I believe it's key. It's centered to like good financial health.

Anybody that believes that's not important, try getting by without it. So I would suggest you establish a gift giving budget if you're going to be doing travel, a travel budget, whatever you're going to do that's outside your normal spending, which around the holidays is going to be quite a bit, I would imagine. Budget that. Figure out what dollar amount you can live with for those things and don't exceed it. Do not fall into that trap of, well, I've already spent the budget, but I really want to get more gifts because that is a downhill slope that you're never going to recover from. I would venture to say it is also super important at this point to do the same thing with your time. The same thing you just said.

Like, I don't call it having a plan. I mean, in my brain, my brain works with schedules. Like, how many hours in a day do I have this? Do I have how many tasks can I get done to that time? I'm just, I don't know, hyper organized like that in some ways. I don't know, hyper-organized like that in some ways. But I would venture to say that you have to schedule into this holiday periods where there's nothing to do. Nothing to do.

And that doesn't mean, oh, it's overflow for when a task gets pushed, like you were saying about take stuff off your plate. When you take stuff off your plate, it doesn't go into the downtime. The downtime's downtime. Oh, no. When I said I take things off my plate, that doesn't go into the downtime. The downtime's downtime. Oh, no. When I said I take things off my plate, that just means it's gone. It no longer exists on my plate. But I'm saying that there are people out in the audience who will be tempted to take that time to schedule for rest and say, well, I can run around and get this extra stuff done. Now that you think about it, how many times have I gone to bed with the laptop to design something or create whatever, work on something? But I think downtime is important.

I think time of rest is important around the holidays. I think if you're not going to let this turn into absolute hell on earth, you're going to have to, you're going to have to paste. You're going to have to make. God, that sun is so bright. Oh, yeah. All of a sudden it is like, wow. So bright. Oh, yeah.

All of a sudden it is like, wow. But you're going to have to make the holidays what it can be so that it can be a pleasurable experience. Financially, time-wise, attention-wise, task-wise. And I think it's just super important to always remember that, you know, at the end of the day, the holidays should be fun. Like for Thanksgiving, you and I, we had everybody over here. We had a bit of setup to do, but we made the decision to like farm out the actual cooking of Thanksgiving lunch. And you know what? I wasn't upset about that in the least bit because it obfuscated six to eight hours of you and I killing ourselves in the kitchen. And it allowed us to like set up, greet guests and not

have to kill ourselves. And I think that's, I think that is important when we talk about Christmas. It is important for everyone to go into this with an idea of, I want it to be a peaceful, pleasurable experience. Don't allow it to not become that. And if the end result of Christmas is you're so thankful it's over because now you can rest or you're so thankful the spending money is over, I think you did it wrong. Yeah. I agree. I mean, how many times have you and I come home from a vacation and said, okay, now I need another vacation to recover from the vacation? Most people fall prey to that.

Yeah. I mean, Disney that. Yeah. Because the vacation. I mean, Disney World. Yeah. And for those, and I'm drawing a comparison to this. If you need a vacation after the vacation, the first vacation wasn't a good one. Because you did way too much running around and not enough relaxing, which is the whole point of the vacation.

Which you can do really great at the beach. Just saying. I can bring a lawn chair about 100 yards back in that wood line and do it just fine. It's just a little jab. It's our thing. The beach comments are my thing. Anyway. I may not be here for next week's show.

You're too expensive to replace at this point. Okay. Good to know. Good to know at this point. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. But yeah, I mean, keeping up with the Joneses, we've talked about it before and mostly in the guise of like finances.

And I just feel like around Christmas, it applies more than probably any other time. There's, there's so much pressure on people from all these different angles to keep up with their neighbors or keep up with someone or just keep up with what they think they should be doing. And I just don't want people to fall prey to that toxic environment. Yeah. I agree.

I'm glad we agree on this. We didn't always. It's taken some time. On my part, I know. Boy, I had to wear you down, huh? Yeah, I know. Anyway, I think that's a good show. What'd you say?

Yeah, I think we need to spend the rest of the day doing laundry and talking about this beach trip that you're going to bully me into, apparently. When? When we can afford it. I don't like you. That wasn't very nice of you. That wasn't nice at all. You got my hopes up that we're going on a beach trip. It's too cold to go to the beach right now.

Yeah. Okay. I'll wait. I gave you six months. Y'all pray for me. Well, I hope y'all pray for me well I hope y'all have a good rest of your Sunday we only have

a week and a half until school is out and then I have two and a half weeks off what is that about so excited there's going to be some information coming out soon about the Women Who Prep conference just got some really fun and exciting news from Allison, who is with This Prepared Life. I almost said a different

prepared account. This Prepared Life. And she's contacted all of the speakers with some really exciting news. So that will come out next week. I've got to get all my affairs in order before I announce that. But I think, you know, those tickets are still on sale. If you're willing to go to an online conference, and it's going to be in April. And, of course, Prepper Camp tickets are still on sale with the christmas um holiday pricing don't miss out uh we the the camper the prepper campers um in our group that the it's already a buzz and it's almost you know not even it's just under a year away. So it's, it's exciting times, but those both, um, both

makes really good Christmas gifts. If you're, if it's in your budget, um, also matter of facts and raising values, merch, um, Tiffany has got some new stuff out there and we're working on some new designs that don't just say the names of the podcast, but have some funny things that you can wear on your shirts or on your mugs or whatever. So those links are all in the description. I think maybe not the Women Who Prep is in the description. But definitely go check out Southern Gals Crafts for our merchandise, and those make good gifts as well.

And if you're interested in Prepper Camp, it's preppercamp.com. There's information there about tickets, about the event. There's links to Orchard Lake where the event is held. We've already got our site reservation for Site 44 for next year. Yeah, so y'all come visit us up on top of the hill. Yep, we will be up on top of the hill. I know that at least one of our Matter of Facts families from last year already has a site reservation and a couple of the PBN crew already have their site reservations already done. And best I'm aware, we're going to have like the whole row of the PBN hosts down in the vendors

area, some of which are going to be actually conducting sales. And then you're going to have, you know, you, me and Andrew somewhere down in there running interviews, running a podcast right out of the vendors area, which I'm, I'm excited to see how, what you think of that, because it is, it's an interesting, it's interesting because there's only other Ben, to my knowledge, one other podcaster that's tried podcasting from the vendors area and talking to him last year we actually interviewed with him i don't think he ran as much content as we did like we were four show four or five shows a day it was a madhouse but it was so much fun yeah so anyway

i think that's all of the business side of the podcast um i hope that y'all have a great rest of your weekend get some rest today like we are and if you are at work then I'm sorry that sucks for you I'm going to go read my book now and eat some breakfast or lunch I'm going to go make some breakfast for lunch

see y'all later, thanks for tuning in we'll see y'all next week bye everybody Thank you.