The Prepper Broadcasting Network - Surviving America 040: Mom

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

www.limatangosurvival.comwww.pbnfamily.com code B2 for 25% off Membership www.packfreshusa.com

I'm sorry. K Pasa, PBN family. We are outdoors again for Surviving America episode 40 titled MOM. MOM, if you type MOM on a dial tone phone, you know that old school dial tone phone, you can do it on a cell phone too. But in order to type MOM on a dial tone phone, you have to type the number 666. I always used to laugh about that. I never quite understood how it fell that way, but it fell that way. Check your phone right now if you don't believe me. You know, you go to look mom's number up or look,

whatever the situation was, dial it real quick. Weird one, that's a weird, that's one of those weird universal hangups. They gotta fix and figure out. I got a little something, I got a little, I got a little, sorry, everything's mirrored. Something for us for Inside inside the cash back there I am still marbling over

Sort of the alpha and omega of gears or whatever like I'm really hung up on this crap survival gear thing. It just I think we could we could do some lengths in the pool on that um But we are going to talk about my mother. My mother passed away last week and it's uh look everything that's ever happened happened here. You know what I mean? I don't know. I'm not big on victimization. You know what I mean? I'm not big on like, guess what, how, woe is me, guess what happened to me type of thing, which Dave Jones did me a real solid in coming on here and telling you guys that my mother passed away last week. He really did, you know what

I mean? And it was his instinct. I didn't tell him to, you know, I told him to hop on and do me a favor, let everybody know about, you know, what was going on with the fast and to get the fast up and running. Keep people motivated, you know what I mean, because it's not easy. But you know, some people just know you, you know, and you know some people, right? Some people in your life, and it's, ooh man, it's not a lot, but some people in your life want success for you at all costs, you know? For me, see my life is radical and jumbled.

Morning Firewolf, morning Jay Fer, thanks for joining us this morning. My life is so radical and so jumbled and different because, largely because I have you. You know what I mean? I have a legion of people who are fundamentally out for my best interest, are sponsors. A lot of people have told me in my lifetime, I want to see you have success. And for the average person, it's not that.

You know what I mean? That is not typically the case. And in your parents and sometimes in your siblings and sometimes in your close friends, you have this sparse group of people who want you to succeed. They want you to do great. They want to see you do great things. They want you to live a happy life. You know, Dave Jones, Jay Fergie, these are people that are not blood family, who I know without a shadow of a doubt, are always behind me. And when you lose people like that, I think that's what makes it so hard, you know. Because for some people, it's their parents and that's it. You know, you know when you lose a parent

that you're losing someone who is behind the limestone of you marching every single day, like pushing you forward. I think that's part of that thing. You know what I mean? That's part of that thing. And it's hard to get people like that. For some people, they have nobody like that. It's part of my marathon mentality that I hope all of you can really take into consideration. You can't be the nice guy all the time. You can't make excuses for people making terrible decisions all the time. You can't make excuses for people having making terrible decisions all the time. But I do try to apply my marathon mentality to people. Because I remember in the 18th mile of my own personal marathon, if you had saw me, if your first glimpse of me were in that 18th mile when I ran a marathon in 2019, you would be like, what's this guy even doing out here? What's the point? You know what I mean? Why is he even running this race? So I always look at people

who are fucking up, for lack of a better word, and try to see the situation and wonder like, where are they at in their marathon? What kind of things has the world put impediments and so forth as the world put in front of them? I'm seeing them right here and now I'm going look at this moron why won't he get out of my way? Why won't he do this better? Why won't he do this faster? Why won't... Why is he holding Mia? And what I try to do more and I think I'm pretty good at it, is people call it, Christians call it extending grace, right? But I always look at it as the marathon mentality, you know?

Is this guy on his 18th mile? Is this guy on his 22nd mile? Has it been one of those days? You know what I mean? Because the importance of that is we all get there, we all wind up there. We are all eventually in that situation, be it at the end of the day or the end of a hard week or whatever it is, where we're running on fumes, man, and we're not making our best decisions and we're not our best self. And I think it's important to remember that, you know what I mean?

Just because you happen upon a person in a certain moment in your life and you're feeling good and you're going a hundred miles an hour and you're locked in doesn't always mean that that person who's probably pissing you off is there too, you know? Like I said, it doesn't apply all the time. Sometimes life is life and you're just a human being, right? So you have those moments where it's like I got to get around this guy or I'm going to lose my mind. I can't imagine what kind of a moron is acting this way, but I got to get away from it. But I always like to extend that grace and think about the fact that there's a lot of people in the world who have no support structure whatsoever, who have, you know, having gone through this month of June PBN fact, like things don't happen to us. We are very careful.

That's the best word for it. We're very careful. We're very, you know, proactive in our life. We take many precautions on lots of things. My wife and I are a great team at this, you know. So in June, we lost our dog, which is a big deal for our dog people, you know what I mean? And then we went on vacation, thank God, without that vacation, I don't know, right? So we went on vacation abruptly after that. And we did have a great time, and it was exactly what we needed because upon the return home, we lost my mom.

And one of those things in a year barely happens to us. You know, rarely, we don't lose people close. You know what I mean? It just, and I know it's an inevitability and it's an age thing and all that kind of stuff and the days are coming for me, just like our favorite stories, the poem that I wrote in darker trails called our favorite stories, that focuses on life as life in the people's lives around you as a collection of books and volumes on shelves. And everyone's life is an open book, right?

And a story being told. And the biggest question for us all is where are we at in the story? Are we at the middle or are we at the beginning or are we at the end, right? And in that poem, there's a stanza towards the end that talks about what happens when as you age, more and more books start sudden closed, right?

So the storybooks slam shut, that's death. And they close and they continue to close and close. And you find yourself in this situation where all of a sudden, books are closing more and more all around you. So I know, you know, it's a matter of time, a matter of timing. But that's a very rare month for us. You know what I mean? That's not something that we experience very often. That's where I'm sitting here, July 1st, you know what I mean? Reflecting on a month like that, what in the hell exactly just happened?

Because it is wild, you know? And we're two days away from celebrating the birth of the nation and celebrate we must. Celebrate we must, folks, you know what I mean? This is a critical part of being American because we have, it feels like we have, well, in California, there's a bunch of Fourth of July celebrations not happening. You shouldn't be surprised. It's California, right? But there's a bunch of them that are being canceled, and they're canceling many of them because they don't want people out on the streets for ice to come scoop up.

So better to stay hidden and locked in your home. They like that. That's a favorite move. A favorite move of the radical left is to keep you in your house if you haven't noticed. Think back to 2020. They love it. Stay in your house. Stay invisible.

Something's coming to get you. Somebody or something is coming to get you and you better just stay in your house and stay quiet Vote the way we tell you to do what we want you to Be a good little sheeple and that's what we need out of you and they love that you know They love get on social media yell at people That's what they want, right? Sorry, the rain's kicking up and I don't want my gray man kit from Leematango to get too wet.

We're gonna talk about this item right here that is out of that kit in today's show. You know, maybe it's pouring down rain now, but maybe, but that's okay. You know, you do a show for mom and if the world decides it must cry, then it must cry. And you let it do its thing. The storms here have been tremendous. I mean, tremendous. I got a story for you. I hope I remember it.

I hope I remember it because it came from my father this morning and it's, I guess with the rain falling and the eerie story, we should go into the life of an empath. The life of an empath, which was the life of my mom. And I'm telling this story this way. We're not making this an autobiographical account of every year of my mom's life. You know what I mean? What you need to know is whatever the hell I tell you. Yes. So we're gonna go into it as we go into it. But what's really interesting about my mother

is that her life in many ways is a warning to some of you out there. She was very much through the veil. For those of you who are PBN fans, you might remember Through the Veil. It was a great sort of short run show that we created with Lisa T. who escaped California and made it to Tennessee. I got to give Lisa a call. I owe her a phone call. Lisa, if you're watching, I apologize. But my mother was very much through the veil. She had a lot of people in the family that were through the veil as well. A lot of weird stuff. A lot of, you know, we come from the southeastern Pennsylvania where there's not a lot of bullshit,

you know, so you really got to prove when someone is through the veil, it has to be real. You know, it's not it's not because they carry a pack of tarot cards around. But I think what what mom's superpower was was, and I don't know if it was because she was through the veil or because she had lived a tough life growing up, but she was empathy to the highest order. You know, she was empathy to the tenth power. Not to the point where she was liberal. But I don't think that's empathy either. Empathy to the 10th power is a different thing. Because you know that you have that overwhelming desire to want to help and to want to fix, right? Because you feel. One of the scariest and darkest

things my mom ever told me as she got older. And this is freaky, man, because my mom was freaky. Like there were weird, she could fix things that you couldn't understand. And she was not a traveled woman. She was not an educated woman. You know, she largely spent the bulk of her life in Microsoft, Pennsylvania, trips to the beach, to the New Jersey shore. You know, I don't think she'd ever gone to New York. I don't think she'd ever gone to New York. I don't think she'd ever gone, she'd gone to Maryland before I moved. When I moved, I forced them to get further south

from time to time, but like, this is what you're dealing with, you know what I mean? But she was through the veil. One of the things that she told me over the last three years more than once is that she would have, and I don't have to tell you about the human trafficking and the child human trafficking and the pedophilia and the terrible things that are going on in our world, but a re, my mom was always having reoccurring dreams, always. You know what I mean?

She was like living with the... A witch isn't the right word. Through the veil is the only way I can say it that makes sense. Thank you Lisa T for coining that. But the most terrifying dream that she would have of reoccurring was she wakes up in the dream and she's in a place, no one's around, but these kids keep coming up to her. These little, little kids come up to her and they just look at her. And she doesn't know how to help her. And it's different kids all the time.

So if you can imagine for a minute how crazy of a dream that is to have in a time like this. And it would happen time and time again. You know what I mean? She's in the dark. I don't know, maybe she's out and about actually. I think she might be actually out and about in public. And these kids come up to her. She don't know. She's never seen them before. They're not my friends. They're not kids she knew when she was younger. These, these kids from out of nowhere just show up and come tugging on her dress or come looking and staring at her and she has no idea how to help her. And you know, then she tries to wake up on top of it all. That's as creepy as it gets to me. You know what I mean? That's his... Can you guys hear me well? Because, you know,

it's pouring rain. It's literally pouring down rain. Let me know in chat if you can hear me if I got to go to a different place because I guess I should have expected as much, right? But because mom was through the veil that way, she, you know, she was the ear for the family. She was the person that people in the family went to when they had problems. We weren't rich, and they didn't come to her for money. You know what I mean? They came to her for exactly what I'm telling her.

She would be on that telephone, on that coiled line telephone and people lamenting in the ear about, oh, how do I do this? Or how do I do that? Or what, you know, this is happening with my family member. That's happening with my family member. And she was always there. You know what I mean? She was always there and she was always offering up the advice.

And it was crazy because, thank you Jay Ferb, it was crazy because for a woman who was so limited in her travels around the world and in inner education she was, you know, my mom was super smart and she was so tuned in that she always knew what you should do. My dad and I would laugh about it, you know what I mean? We're laughing about it over the last few days thinking about that because he'd been everywhere, you know what I mean? My dad had been everywhere, he was in the military, all that kind of stuff. And we're sitting there trying to figure out how the hell did mom always know what to do? In this very seat that I sit in

getting poured down rain on right now, while it's not as cozy and comfy as a private office in the corner of some corporation, this very much is mom's doing. I crashed my car, because I suck at driving, but I crashed, I'm better now, the older I get, but I crashed my car years and years ago. And I wound up getting a check from insurance for it because it was total. And, uh, it was in that moment that I realized I could move laterally into this writing business from the profession that I was in because I had this buffer now.

Oh, I got this buffer money. It wasn't a lot, but it got this buffer money. And, uh, should I do that? And of course, who did I go to? Right? Who's the first person I call? Obviously, I talked to my wife about it, but as I was feeling this whole idea out, who do I call? I call mom, right? Because mom, who is not a writer, is not a business owner, is not a person who's ever made the jump from a career into a new career where you're solely dependent on your output as a writer.

I went to mom, you know what I mean? And I don't know, she didn't break things down in metrics. It was either she believed in it or she didn't believe in it. She gave you what it was, either it's gonna work or it ain't gonna work. And it wasn't a lengthy explanation on it all, you know? And that was it, she said, go for it. And that is that conversation along with you know, the conversations I have with my wife are

Literally the reason I'm sitting here right now. They're the reason you know me the way that you know me because that set off everything in my life and It was so astounding. Like it was such an astounding moment in my life that I threatened to write a book called, Crash Your Car, Quit Your Job and Listen to Your Mother. Because that was exactly how that chapter in my life went. And look, I'd be lying if I said I was sitting comfortably, you know in a world where I

Didn't worry about money or anything like that But I do think it's a much better life than working for someone else, you know there's no doubt about that and Yeah, it all came out of that conversation. Now, I think where I think where the advice for the rest of you out there who are deeply empathetic that my mother would like to have left you is that there is a limit to what you can hear and what you can fix and what you can mentally deal with Right because we all have our own problems but mom was in there mitigating the rest of the world's problems on top and

I really do think I don't know it for sure But I really do think, I don't know it for sure, but I really do think that the weight of the world's problems, you know what I mean, the weight of people calling and to sustain a lot, you know, the Buddhist say life is suffering because life is suffering, baby. You can manage that in your own way too, but life is suffering. And when you're empathetic and you invite the lives of others into your world on a regular basis, oh, you know, the hubby's doing this, the wife's doing that, the kids are doing this, I got to save this one, I got to fix this one.

When you invite, she had five siblings, 150 cousins, it was one of those families, you know what I mean? It all begins to fill this tank, it all begins to fill a very limited space. And I do think that she, I think it got over full. I think the burden of an empathetic person is high as is. And I do think that it pushed her to the escape of drugs and alcohol. I do. I think that part of that escape

that would really affect her later life, as I was sort of getting into my later teens. I always wonder about that. That's not like you get an email. You don't get an email and say, your, your storage is dangerously low. You better be careful, Mrs. Walton, right? So I do think that she was determined to give everything and that doesn't mean you get all...

that doesn't mean you can survive that, you know what I mean? That doesn't mean you can survive that. Firewolf Forge. Yeah, he's one of these guys that you be careful, man. You want to help the people you love a lot of times. But I'm telling you right now, there are hard limits. You know, there are hard limits because it's a deposit situation. I've deposited on my mother before. I know it. You've deposited on people before. Right? It is a deposit. You give something and someone takes something. It's the reason you call. Right? And it's the reason people call you sometimes. You're giving a deposit.

You know? And that deposit is emotional. And it's like, let me move something off my shoulder and put your burden on my shoulder for the moment. And it builds up, you know what I mean? It builds up. And I think that's exactly how it went. I think that's exactly how it went. So if mom had to leave behind a warning, those of you out there who are through the veil, and you know it if you are, you know what I mean? You feel the universe in a way that other people don't feel it. Then just understand there are limits,

you know what I mean? It will overwhelm you or it can overwhelm you. And we don't understand that stuff anymore. We don't understand the human's capacity for dealing with energies and dealing with the burdens that people deposit on you. They all are something, they all take something, you know. So that was Mom the empath talking to you through me to give you that sort of heads

up. Let's take a break from that and let's get into something a little more prepper related. Let's get into what's inside the cache and we'll talk about we're gonna talk about a lot of things in this inside the cache but I'm gonna show you this in particular it's so hard to do this because this thing is sitting right here in real life it's sitting right here over my shoulder, but it's actually... Let's get into it. We're going to test the waterproof capabilities of this little pack right here. Okay, there we go.

The IFAC Trauma Kit from Lima Tango Survival. Now I'd be lying if I said you could buy these right here and now on their website. I'm pretty sure you can. If you can't, email me or email them and that will happen. You'll be able to get your hands on just this item. This item comes from the gray man kit. Okay, the gray man kit costs $3.95 and you get not one but two bags from Lima Tango Survival in your gray man kit. It's a two-person kit, all right? Now we're gonna go over this thing in detail on family gear for

sure. But what I need you to understand about the Greyman kit, it's $3.95 for two bags. Okay. And the bags are outrageous. Right. There are custom sized gloves. There's a Gerber strong arm. There's an IFAC. There is so much gear. There's a massive MRE pack. There's so much gear You'll see it on family gear on the membership side all the things that are in there and then eventually will probably release that out to the YouTube audience But I just want you to see Some of the things that are inside this pack. Okay? Because it's an impressive little pack. It's gonna get wet here. But it is what it is, right? So we've got...

We've got high quality pressure bandages in the bag. Naturally, we've got tourniquets in the bag. Give me a sec. We've got chest seals in the bag. If you've never priced out tons of bandages, I don't want to take the bandages out, I don't want them to get wet, okay? Tons of bandages in there. Alcohol pads, those kinds of things. I'm not gonna rip this tourniquet out of here even because it'll probably be more of a pain to get in.

But it comes with a tourniquet, so you got chest seals, you got tourniquets, you've got splint, right? We've got other, we got Mylar, Mylar, we got a variety of different sort of first aid implements. And in classic Lima tango fashion this stuff is back sealed, right? So if you're in a situation like I'm in right now, look, this is why I get so excited about

that. You got antacids, you got, it's quite the little kit, you know what I mean? But the beauty of it is back sealed. Let me shove this stuff back in there. There's nothing worse than pulling things out, putting things back. We've got medical tape, we've got pens, we've got these, I don't know what they're called, but I've used them before. You know, those tapes that are rigid that you can wrap around bandages and they just hold. It's non-adhesive. Even earplugs in here, which is kind of an interesting one. Safety pins, more bandages, rubber gloves. And that is in this little, this little netted portion.

You know, the other thing to consider with this pack is, I took something out and didn't put it back. The other thing to consider with this pack is you have the ability to not only use what's inside of it, but also Firewolf calls it horse tape. That sounds horse tape. Okay, we'll go with that. So a kit like this is plenty of room on top of it, right?

So if you wanna add something to it, you can add something to it. Remember, there are IFACs that go for almost $300, right? Now they have a little more than this kit has, but this comes with the two bags I just showed you. You follow me? Like this. If you saw the video of the pack that I gave a review on,

it's not even, I'm not even gonna review that thing It's so bad The first aid kit is unbelievable. I mean, it's like Dollar store, you know what I mean this this kit comes within these two bags that come with hats bandanas real goggles real gloves, you know, real tactical gloves. I mean, there's so much shit in there, but bandanas and that's not even talking about shelter, real high quality shelter, real food. Lima Tango is doing it guys.

I don't know. I don't know of a better deal on the market. I just don't know where you can get a deal like that. You're talking about three dollars, let's just say 400 bucks, talking about $200 per bag pre-built, pre-built with room, right? Like this, this bag right here has room, you know, and this thing is, this thing is right there to about as heavy as you want it But like I'm telling you there's room there are pockets in here that have nothing in them so you can take a bag that's pre-built like that and Really make it your own. I mean really add the things that you already have to it

There's no radios in there. Obviously you put your t-echoes in there You put your mesh testing you put your GMRS in there, whatever you want to do. But they are well on the way to creating. Right before I got on the air, I fell down the back steps. And I mean, it was bad. But thank God for physical fitness. Like if you think physical fitness is about muscles and stuff, the fall that I just had, right, coming down the steps, because I got these crocs on, these godforsaken crocs, and when it rains they have no, there's no grip, right, but I had them on, I just said I'm gonna go out here and do this show, and it's probably gonna rain on me, so I don't want to put on, you know, like good shoes. And it's probably gonna rain on me so I don't want to put on, you know, like good shoes. The fall that I had should have put me in the hospital.

It was, I mean, it hit right on my spot. I mean, the back step, the feet went out, the back came down on the step, the coffee cup goes, and I hit right on my spine, knocked the wind out of me, and now my up here is hurting a little bit But I'm telling you between stretching and being strong having a strong body you know what I mean muscles are your armor like Most people don't walk away from that and just go let's go do an hour live. You know what I mean I'm telling you it was brutal. It was absolutely brutal

I've fallen down those steps before in Crocs and for me. I'm not you, it was brutal. It was absolutely brutal. I've fallen down those steps before in Crocs. And for me, I'm not good at falling. I don't fall a lot. You know what I mean? I got really good balance. And it was rough. You know what I mean? It was rough. It was literally, I went in the house to catch my breath and came right back out, hit record. Because I was awake then, I'll tell you that much, right? About 1,000 cc's of caffeine and then it rubbed. But so that's inside the cache for today, a little more behind the scenes. Now we have to talk about Dean R. Coontz a little bit. Now we have to talk about Dean, right? Dean R. Coontz, something like that. I can't show you real for a long

time because I don't want it to get wet. I was never one to be like, I want, you know how some kids are like, I want these things from my parents because they were part of my childhood or, you know, important to me growing up. The only thing that I ever really wanted from my parents and my mom gave it to me willingly was the collection of Dean Koons books that I read all through middle school into high school and into adulthood until, you know, I still read Dean Coons today I there's not an author on the planet. I've read more from um

I haven't read a lot of Stephen King So i'm firmly in the Dean Coons world. I don't know. It's just more my thing But the Dean Koons world. I don't know, it's just more my thing. But this book right here, because I hated school, you gotta understand. My mother hated school, I hated school. Like the fact that I made it out of school is amazing. And my mother knew it. And my mother, she would always say, you would come home from school and flop down on the couch and you looked like you just got out of the salt mines. That's what she said. She said you looked like you did a hard day in the salt mines. Because I hated it. You know what I mean? There was nothing. I mean, it was

good to be with my friends and some good things came out of going to school, obviously. But I hated every moment of it. It was just not the learning modality for me. So in fifth grade, because you've got to remember, this is the 1990s. There's no therapist. Mom's your therapist. That's what mom was back in the day, right? I hope that resonates with you. But you had a problem. You talked to mom about it. It wasn't like, mom, mom, take me to the therapist. I had a rough day or something's been bothering me. And she was therapy, early morning therapy, midday therapy, late night therapy. That was part of a mother's role back in the day they didn't take you to get a smoothie in the morning and leave you with the

Leave you with the the the therapist for an hour and a half so they could go do yoga, right? So she knew you know, she could tell she hated school too So she knew you know what what she had brought forth into the world and my sister hated it as much right? so brought forth into the world. And my sister hated it as much, right? So back in those days, you know, your situation was your situation. It wasn't, oh, let's take Jimmy on, put him in a different school. Let's get him a tutor.

Let's get, you know, we're trying to make rent. It's not our mortgage, whatever. It's not, you know, you gotta work with the hand you were dealt. And I think working with the hand that with your dealt makes way better people anyway Um at least more sturdy people, right? They don't run to the therapist every time something gets ugly. But anyhow All those years ago. She gave me this book called the fun house

and This book changed my life, too This book is another big reason why I'm sitting in front of you doing what I do. Because after finishing the fun house, I went on to read 20 books probably for the rest of my school career. The rest of my school career was time either spent

trying to emulate Dean Koontz and Shakespeare in a notebook when I was done my work, or reading Dean Koontz. And it was just a crazy world that I didn't think existed in books. His is a crazy world that was just my world. You know, it was sci fi. It was terrifying. It was horror. It was brutal. It was real. It was a lot of times it was love. You know, a lot of times the intensity and the suspense in Dean Coons books are built around

relationship, you know what I mean? Love between a man and a woman, some kind of weird love situation, you know? And, uh, it's one of those things, man. It was a world that I just fell into easily. It was a world that I just fell into easily. I say this with the most love, you truly were blessed. I never got that type of mother's love, Jay Fergie. And it's hard to believe. I will tell you that. Jay Fergie is a mother in every sense of the word.

And it's weird that you can become that and have struggles with your own mother. You know what I mean? Like it's weird that you can become that and have struggles with your own mother. You know what I mean? Like it's weird that you can become that without day in and day out the example of that in front of you. So, I mean, I've always thought that was impressive because I've known a little bit about, you know, your history with your mom.

And I always thought that was such a wild thing, you know, to see someone who was so dedicated But to have had no blueprint, you know what I mean? To have had no blueprint to get there Would my mother would read these novels at night late at night she didn't sleep You know what? I mean, she was a late a late in the day sleeper. She slept in and stayed up late. And she would read these books. And what you do as a parent, your kids see it all. And what your kids see of you as a parent is at least ten times more important than what you say to them. You know what I mean? What you say to them can help,

and can sort of drill itself in. But what you give validity to and what you spend your time on is what your kids see. And in many ways, it's what they become. Because... I didn't like to read. There was not, probably since Animorix, I didn't read much until Dean Coons. And I think a part of that was, I gotta see what the hell this is all about. Mom's up reading these books all hours of the night. They gotta be good. She's got a TV right next to her. She'd lay on the couch, TV off, read the book.

So to me it was always like, there's got to be something here. You know, she wouldn't be wasting her time poring over these pages. She's reading this book for some reason. And it added that validity to it. You know what I mean? Where I was like, let me see what Dean's all about. And maybe one day, maybe one day, I'll transcribe the book that I wrote, the horror novel that I wrote in when I was like 20 or 19, I think, when I was really heavily into Dean Coons. I wrote it and published it and that kind of thing. And it never really saw much, you know, I didn't know what I was doing back then. So I didn't know how to promote it. And it's long been out of print. And the way I wrote published it to save money at the time, it's

it's unreadable, you know what I mean? I wanted to minimize the amount of pages because it costs money per page. So I made the writing real tiny and small. It's a big book but maybe one day you'll get to read Danvers Lights and see what that's all about. But fundamentally getting into that, that began my reps. You know how I always tell you everything is reps like reading Dean Koontz and going I wonder if I could do something like that. Really put me in a position where I started putting the reps in. I started filling notebooks up with stories of my own

and that kind of thing. And all those years ago, you know, we're talking sixth, seventh, eighth grade, all the way up through there, this writer was taking place or taking root. You know what I mean? And largely I was dedicated to being a chef, but in the background that writer just never went away.

You know, these things that parents do, you know what I mean? These things that parents do that guide you and it's an amazing thing. It's an amazing thing. It's an amazing thing. Probably one of the reasons my 10-year rule came up also, I understood the effect that parents can have on kids when they're around.

And that sort of 10-year rule of mine, which is really try to be there as much as you can for the first 10 years. You get a lot of attitude and a lot of disconnect after that. It's better than I thought it would be, but it's very different. When you get to hang with your four-year-old, five-year-old, six-year-old, it's a very different beast than when you hang with your 13-year-old. You know what I mean? Dad, what do you wanna do? And let's be war fighters today

and let's go here and do this and, you know, show me, show me, show me, tell me, tell me, tell me, listen to me, listen to me. It's just us in the world. I think that's a lot of what it is. I think that's a lot of what it is. When they're that young, it's just you two in the world. And it's no stress for the kid, but if the adult can figure out how to make it just those

two in the world, that's the magic. You know, that's the magic. So, yeah, I don't know. I think the lessons that I learned from mom over all the years were so vast that it's hard to believe they came from a woman from Marcus Sook who never left, who dropped out of high school, you know what I mean? And really became an institutional cook and a mom. And her empathy and her power through the veil just really guided us all in many ways. And I spent a lot of time wondering like how, what makes the loss so powerful? What makes the loss so taxing on you? And it really is that, you know, is that you, you only have a hand of people in your life who really are behind you. It's, it's, it's a small hand that you are dealt.

And when one hits the discard pile, it's, you feel it, you understand. And like I said, I'm in a unique position because I've got a ton of people out here watching me right now, listening to this, who will listen to this podcast, see this broadcast. And I know many of you, you've emailed me, you've reached out, you want success for us here at PBN and for me. And I'm so grateful for that because it's non-characteristic of what life is for the average person, what the course of life for mortal men is in this world, right? And women. But yeah. Now, I'm going to end it with a through-the-veil tale now. Again, hats off to Lisa T. My mother was an owl everywhere else. Every shelf hanging on the walls, the whole nine yards, right?

If birthday comes around, let's get her now, but you know what I mean? That kind of stuff. Like, just totally, it her a spirit animal they would say nowadays right nowadays you say mom spirit animal is an owl back in the day it was just something you could say you didn't have to explain everything back oh she likes owls okay you know my grandmother like clowns okay you didn't we didn't we didn't theropies and try to psychologically figure why is it that thing you know what I mean it didn't matter she didn't theropize and try to psychologically figure, well, why is it that thing? You know what I mean?

It didn't matter. She likes it. Buy her fucking out. She likes out. Okay. Simple. We're so, everything is jumbled in the brain. Well, let me figure out how and why and what's the, what's the past trauma?

What's the, it's half the reason we're all going insane, right? You got to figure everything out. My dad calls me today. This is a little through the veil. He's got a garden of his own. He's been battling rabbits in the garden for a little while. I think we got it pretty well under control. But he calls me today and he says, I had to call you. I found a rabbit carcass in the middle of the yard and it was decapitated. And right away, like right away, I like lose my breath. You know what I mean? And those of you out there who know, you know. And I'm just going unbelievable. He goes, what the

hell would do that? What is that? He's thinking anything. You know, unbelievable. He goes, what the hell would do that? What is that? He's thinking anything. Maybe somebody did it, threw it in the yard. Maybe it was a coyote, whatever. And I was like, dad, I've had it happen to my chickens. That's, it's an owl. That's what owls do.

They'll decapitate, they'll prey and take the head. And, you know, who knows? That's what I'm gonna leave you with. Who knows? It's through the veil. That's all I can say. It's been a fun show folks. I'm kind of amazed I held it together. I do appreciate you, and please support our sponsors, Prepper Broadcasting Network, and so on. We are still running the promo code B2 for membership, but I'll spend the rest of my life wondering about that damn owl that took care of that rabbit for my dad. That's a wild one. you