The Press Box - A Non-Football Fan's Guide to Caring About the Super Bowl | Tea Time (Ep. 568)

Episode Date: February 2, 2019

Beyoncé and Jay-Z will give you free tickets to their concerts for life, only if you're willing to go vegan (9:53). What to watch for at the Super Bowl if you don't care about football (19:33). Dissecting the photo of Kanye West, Timothée Chalamet, Kid Cudi, and Pete Davidson (22:37). Hosts: Liz Kelly, Amelia Wedemeyer, and Kate Halliwell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Ringer Podcast Network. I'm Liz Kelly. We just launched a brand new golf podcast called Fairway Rowland, where Joe House is joined by a rotating cast of Ringer and golf world personalities every week. They'll break down the latest in golf headlines and news from social media, keep up with everything Tiger Woods, and delve into the world of golf gambling. The first episode was just released earlier this week with new episodes being published every Monday going forward. You can download and subscribe to Fairway Rowland on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, guys, and welcome to tea time. This is a weekly pop culture podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network. I'm Liz Kelly. I'm Kate Hollowell. And I'm Amelia Wademeyer. And today we're going to talk about whether or not Bella Thorne is in a thruple. Why Jake Gyllenhaal is shady but beautiful.

And how we're going to try and support the rest of the ringer staff as they talk about the Super Bowl. Yes, very important. Every time you hear the bell, we have to change topics no matter what. And now let's spill the tea. Okay. First category, we are. are checking in with people. This is T-Time checks in with Gwyneth Paltrow and her ski lawsuit. I have a lot of notes. I'm going to keep this just very high level.

Please. Okay. In 2016, she was skiing in Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah. She was with her instructor. This was a beginner slope, which is important. She was riding down the mountain, and she crashed into a seven-year-old man named Terry Sanderson. 70 years old. Yeah, he said, yeah. And this is 2016. Yeah. Okay. So she has a history. history. Yes, exactly. She knocked him out causing brain injury, short-term memory loss, four broken ribs, and then the kicker is that she skied away, leaving him on this mountaintop. To die. To die, basically. He's seeking $3.1 million in damages. She seems pretty unconcerned, and so does her legal team. Here's what I want to tell you guys. Here's how Terry described this incident. He quote, heard this hysterical scream like you've never heard on a ski run.

And then he added, never have I heard it in my life. It was like King Kong came out of the jungle or something. Which brings me to my question, why is Gwyneth Paltrow on a beginner slope screaming like King Kong? And why was she going at a speed that was so out of control she couldn't stop herself running into an old man? I truly, I don't know. There are so many levels of this that are baffling to me. And yet they all kind of like feel right for her. Yeah, I know.

I love her and I hate her. She's actually problematic. Other question. Not to victim blame. But why is a 70-year-old man on a ski slope? 70 is old. Relax. It's not bad old.

70's pretty old. To be skiing, I feel like old people do that. Yeah, I feel like people are getting younger. What? I mean, like, they're staying. Okay, sure. It's been a long day already.

Yeah, what I want to know, this guy is skiing, this deer valley resort is super, super nice. He's obviously doing fine for himself. Why does he need to sue Gwenith? Yes, exactly. Exactly. Is this worth his time? Apparently. And she left him to die. Yeah. Brain damage. That's kind of...

Yeah. I know. I know. She's doing fine. She's like Instagram stroering about offering Chrissy Teak and stuff. She seems absolutely unconcerned. Wow. Stone cold. That Gwenith. I mean, that's kind of on brand for her, though. I know. She's extremely problematic. As usual. I'll be following this lawsuit extremely closely.

I can't wait to see where it goes. So we're going to be checking in her with her quite a bit. That's insane. Okay. Who wants to talk about the next? checking in with. Well, I think it was just going to be a brief thing, as I'm sure you all know, Lady Gaga has Enigma, her Vegas show, which apparently nosebleed seats are $700, which is insane. But anyway, so this past weekend, she was doing a rendition of Shallow and none other than her director, Bradley Cooper himself, joined her on stage.

Director and co-star. Okay, but he came through the audience, which was important to that. Oh, I didn't know that. She was on the stage and she was like, Bradley's here tonight. Like, thanks for coming to support me. And he's like in the crowd with a baseball hat on, just like hanging out at a table. That is so dramatic.

This is not the Lion King. Yes. And then she's like, do you want to come up and do our song? And he literally stands up and takes off his baseball cap. Yeah, sure. The crowd. Everyone's losing their shit. He comes up into a show.

She like is like. If only he would have put on like a cowboy hat. Right. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'm ready. I shockingly watched this whole. video on YouTube. What I... I know. It was off brand.

But the eye contact. So if you watch the video, you guys all should, she is on her knees as he's singing. She's staring up at Bradley Cooper like he has Jesus Christ himself. With her head on his knee. Yeah. Near tears. Yeah. Or possibly, weeping, I couldn't tell. Lo-key sobbing, yeah. It's very over the top.

They have such an interesting relationship. Yeah. I kind of love it. It's extremely over the top. It was very emotional, honestly. I loved it. I can't help it. But I also want to say that I was wrong And he's going to sing at the Oscars Yeah, that's for sure. That's for sure. So I take that back.

And really quick, I'm really sorry, but we have to talk about Ariana Grande. No, please. She needs to stop getting tattoos, first of all. She got the Pokemon one, like after like 13 hours playing Pokemon. Now she got a tattoo for her new song, Seven Rings, which is like a romantic of her friendship

with like these seven friends. She has, six friends that she has. And she got it in Japanese. Mm-hmm. and it's wrong. Yes, it's very wrong. Japanese barbecue instead of seven rings. Which, like, you can't make this shit up, you know?

It's, like, so predictable that it goes beyond that. Yeah. And the worst part is she tried to fix it as it was also, like, extremely publicized. She put it everywhere. And then she made it worse because now it says Japanese barbecue finger. So. I can understand how that could be, like, how someone could get it that wrong. I guess it's like if you read it, you have to read it in a weird.

way. It's like the positioning of, I think, they're called the kanji. Yeah. And she had, I think, the correct letters or kanji, but they were just in the wrong places, which... How do you fuck that up? Right. That's an important part of that language and that... And she has a tutor, too. Okay, here's what I... This comes up a lot on tea time. It's like, the celebrity world has so many resources to pull from.

And yet, people keep making mistakes in ways that really confuse me. Just, yeah, unforced errors like this. Just get a good tattoo artist. Better. Ariano Grande is problematic right now, but it's a long story that we don't have time to talk about. Yeah, we're moving on. All right. Okay, next category.

This is this week in social media. Kate, go first. A lot going on this week in social media. And we're going to lead with the most important, apparently, which is Ashton Kutcher. Get through it, Kate. You'll be fine. Okay, so Ashton Kutcher was like, I'm debuting a new social media strategy this week, guys. Sure, sure.

And all three people who, you know, care about Ashton Gitcher were like, great, can't wait. So he tweeted out his quote unquote, his phone number and told people to text him. And he said, I miss having a real connection with real people, my community. From now on, you can just text me. I won't be able to respond to everyone, but at least we can be real with each other. And I can share the unedited latest and greatest in my world. So then he put his number and he said, yes, this is my number in case you were, you know, thinking that maybe it wasn't, which I still am thinking that maybe it wasn't. So people are like posting these automated messages apparently that he's sending now like these updates about his life.

I personally texted Ashton Coucher. I was like, I'm not going to let this opportunity go. Good for you. I sent him a message that Julie Faire suggested, which was whether he and Milakunas fight about whether his friends with benefits comedy or her friends with benefits comedy was the best. No Strings Attached versus Friends with Benefits. Would have loved to get his input on it. Didn't. He ghosted me. And I'm not getting the updates about his daily life. Wow. Dang it. Yeah, so this is a failed experiment, Ashton Coucher. Send me your laundry list or whatever you're sending everyone else.

I feel very left out. Is the automatic replies, are they blue or green? Green. See, that's a robot. Yeah, that was a red flag from the beginning. I'm not going to lie. It's a Coochard bot. Yeah.

For sure. Why do you think he's doing this? What inspired him to do this? Bored? Oh, no. Bored. Sad? Maybe he, remember when he played Steve Jobs in like the bootleg version of Steve Jobs's life?

Maybe he's inspired by that. He also is very involved in the tech world, which I don't know how this exactly relates to him wanting human connection. But it seems similar. Yeah. It's in the same sphere. Anyway, text me. Yeah, text. Keep back, please.

All right, Amelia, you go next. Okay, so speaking of Twitter and all the good things you can find on it. So the Pope, who's at Pontifix, obviously. Plug the Pope. Yeah. Great follow. So he had a tweet that said with her, quote unquote, yes. Mary became the most influential woman in history.

Without social networks, she became the first, quote unquote, influencer, the quote unquote, influencer of God. Hashtag Panama 2019. I can't tell you how much I love this. I love this so much. He's bringing Christianity to the people. He's making it cool. He's trying to lay. Yeah.

He's just doing his best. It's 2019. Even the Pope has to like kind of get on the wagon. Wow. That's the take I wasn't ready for, but I mean, that's great. Christianity was the first Tommy T. Oh my God. Okay, that I don't want to call.

This is amazing. This is just really good. He really went for it. Yeah. Or his intern really went for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well-intentioned content, and I respect his choices. Yeah.

Is there any other comment about the poll? No. Okay. No. Okay, that's it. We're moving on. Okay, last thing on social media that we want to talk about is Beyonce has announced on Instagram.

basically if you go vegan and you sign up for the Green Print Project, you could potentially win free Jay-Z and or Beyonce tickets for your entire life. That's incredible. So obviously I went to said Green Print Project, and it's aiming to improve the environment, obviously, by trying to eliminate meat and animal products from people's diets, which is important. But then the whole thing, you go on the website, you just have to plug in your email and then you say, like, well, how are you going? going to try to be vegan. And I just said meatless Mondays, like on a little scroll-down bar. And that was it. And then I entered this context. So I'm not sure exactly what the grand plan is here with like how this is actually affecting the environment in a positive way. But I'm hoping that I do get free Jayzie and Beyonce tickets. Okay. Can I pose a question? Yes. If you went vegan

for the rest of your life, would you go vegan for the rest of your entire life if it meant you would get free Jayze and Beyonce take it? Yes. But I'm also half vegan already. Like I'm close. You're close. Amelia, weigh in. Would you do it? Well, okay, here's the thing. I, Beyonce, I like, don't kill me, but she's fine. Like, I like her. She's good. But I'm not ready to talk about it. I'm sorry. I have clearly insulted people. I think I maybe would. Yeah. It depends on, like, how close I would get. What do you mean close? Well, actually, you know, she's looking out for us all, the world and just health in general. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Again, it's a really good idea. But show. me how this is helping. If I just say meatless Mondays, how's Beyonce going to check if I'm

going to do a meatless Monday? And that's what they were. And she can. And people on Twitter were posting memes that was like, me immediately eating meat after telling Beyonce I wouldn't. And there's like gifts of people eating meat. If anyone can monitor everyone in the world eating meat in their meat consumption, it's going to be Beyonce. I guess that's true. And I know I'm talking about this, but anyone who's listening, don't sign up because I really want to up my chances. So just ignore what I just said. Okay, next category. Tea Time's biggest relationship

news ever. Amelia. Yes. Tea Time favorite, Bella Thorne, is dating... I'm just joking. Favorite of mine, no. She's dating the rapper Maud's son, and I'm not cool, so I don't really know

who that person is. He's awful. Okay, so he's awful. And she's also dating influencer Tana Mungo, Mungu. Do you remember her from TanaCon? What the fuck is that? I did know about that. TanaCon was like his whole, she's a YouTuber.

And this whole, it was, she had a convention and it didn't work out as plan and people were really pissed. If you search TanaCon, there's like a whole thing on it. Yeah. So, so apparently she's dating both of them, but I am unsure if she is dating them separately or if they're a throuple. It's got to be a thruple. Really? Yeah, that house, I don't know if you've seen. I hate that I know this.

I have felt itself bad and loathing. Her house is filled with cats and it's filled with it's filled with murals and she's like hand painted on her walls. And she's with people. Yeah. And it's filled with people. Okay. So there is no doubt in my mind that these three are in a relationship. Together.

Sure. Wow. She does seem like the Thruple type. Yeah. Yeah. It's her. Also, I just love saying thruple. I know.

Incredible word. And one more Thruple news now that we're talking about it is that Frankie Grande, Ariana's brother just broke up with his throuple. But that was different because they were a married couple. So he was really kind of like the outlier. I don't know what his plan was there. But I feel better about Bella, Maud, and how that Tana Khan. Thruple. Tana con girl.

Yeah. Once again, we wish you the very best. Other people that we wish the best, kind of, Cardi v. and Offset are for all intents of purposes back together. They're under the same roof. They're Instagramming each other. They're Snapchating each other. Apparently the thing that got them back together that convinced Cardi B to take back offset is that he got a new phone number, which is like so... I don't understand.

So not the issue here. But apparently that was what convinced her to get back together with him. He was like, this phone will be like for you and for my business calls. And like I'm committed to you. And I guess like all the other women in his life that will be on the other phone. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what I was thinking. But yeah, it's like a new start. New phone number.

New for this relationship. He can take some tips from Ashton picture. Yeah. I wish her the best. Yeah. Think about culture. You know? Okay, sure.

Keith? Yeah. I think it'll be a couple months until they break up again. But we'll see. Okay. Any other news? Godspeed. There was this life and style cover that said Angelina Deli was dating Justin Thoreau.

And I just need, just come on. Like, how dumb do you think we are? Yeah. They were photoshopped together. We're not stupid. That's never going to happen. I think they don't think anyone's reading it. Exactly.

I'm just blasting shit out without any kind of... And that was the same couple that had my bloated king, Leo DiCaprio, and Camilla Moroni being like, they're going to get married. Yeah, he was like Leo proposed to Camilla. Yeah. Life and Style is breaking this news. Come on.

Are we not going to pause in Amelia saying my bloated king, Leonardo DiCaprio? Were we just going to blow right by that? I sit with her all day. I get used to this kind of stuff. I'm looking at Kai. At least Kai gets it. What the hell? Okay.

Yeah, that was a terrible, terrible cover. Yeah, it was really bad. Oh, that Jessica Simpson. I know. That was a really bad picture of Jessica Simpson. I'm not going to tell you to look it up. Don't look it up. Yeah.

But life and style, do better. Yeah. Next topic. Tea Times Sundance Takeaways. Now, this is our one and only highbrow segment. So let's do this justice. Kate, do you want to start? Yes, we had some ringer staffers at Sundance this year.

We were not among them. But they were sending, you know, as our brand demands, we were getting some reactions. from Sundance, from some of the people who were there. And one particular staffer told us that he saw John Hamm and he saw Adam Driver. He said they both looked great, but he said Adam Driver was more handsome in person. And that I just need it. Okay. Ludicrous.

Yeah, exactly. That's a lie. I honestly can kind of see it in terms of like, first of all, very tall Adam Driver. Very imposing. I feel like when he walks into a room, you're like, oh, shit. Right. You know, very serious. Also, I feel like he's sensitive.

he's brooding, which is the ultimate kind of... And now he's an Oscar nominee. Yeah. Yeah. And like he kind of fits into Sundance in a way where he's like almost too big to be there, which John Ham is too. Really? Like I just feel like when you're a current Oscar nominee, like promoting something else at Sundance is like you don't have to be doing it right now. You should be working on that Oscar campaign.

Right. So it like gives him this vibe of like he's like very much an A-Lister right now, which I'm not saying Johnham isn't. You think Adam Driver is an A-lister right now? Yeah. With the whole... Oscar nominee, Star Wars. Star Wars, I think. Oh, that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Okay. So, anyway, he also said that John Hamm had a beard, which then I was like, are you sure Adam Driver was more attracted? Right. I need to see pictures. Also, like, a lot of great outerwear at Sundance.

So then I was like, what kind of cardigans were they wearing? Yeah. Were they in a coat? Are we talking scarf? No scarf? I want to see the boot. Boot game at Sundance. Yeah, I like needed them to paint a fuller picture than that.

Yeah. That's all we have that we're going off of. Right. Adam Driver is now hot. hotter than, okay, that's fine. Yeah. Scratch that what I said about highbrow because this next bit about

Sundance is absolutely not. We want to talk about Jake Gillenhall. We always want to talk about Jake Gillenhall. This is true. This one is great. So he was, this video went around the internet and I've watched it no less than like 45 times. It's kind of hard to describe. Can we play a clip?

Soulful, spiritual. She has a touch of melancholy once in a while. It's melancholy. Oh, it's melancholy. I'm so, you guys get that word wrong. You're so good. That is not the first time today. You know, it's like when you go on a street artist and they do a sketch.

Okay. Not only does he side-eye through this entire video, the way in which it was as if you're talking to, like, your mom when she, like, mispronounce is, like, meme and she says mem. And you're like, it's meme. It was that exact tone and, like, look on his face. They'll do, like, disgust and the kind of disappointment. Yeah, and, like, truly, like, I can't believe. this is happening again.

Yeah, and exhaustion because he was like, this is not the first time today. That was the best part. This says it really quietly, and all of his co-stars are like, oh, my God. Right. I feel for Dan Gilroy. This happens to the best of people.

It happens to me, probably. He was probably nervous on camera. I can't believe they didn't, like a quick edit. I don't know, maybe they wanted it to be like, there's some raw footage, but Melancholy is really tough. I have the opposite take for, like, I truly can't believe he thought it was pronounced like that. Like, this is a smart guy.

He's got like a, like, a pretty deep, like, film resume. Like, you don't know that it's not melancholy? Maybe no one said it out loud, and he's just people, you know what happens is bookworms that, like, don't get out much. Okay, but he makes movies. So, Jake is a bookworm. I know. He makes movies. My sister thought Hermione was pronounced Hermione for, like, the phrase is my mom.

We did that, too. We did that, too. It was Hermoyne in my house. Hermoy, yeah. My mom just called her Hermie, because we didn't know what to say. This has gone off the rails. Anyway, Jake Gillenhal, be kinder. You know, but you're kinder. Also, great sweater game at Sundays.

Yeah, great stuff. Okay, next category. This is really, really important to the three of us. This is tea time tries to relate to other ringer content. The ringer, obviously, the Super Bowl is on Sunday, which the three of us, I am not sure. Based on the blank faces, you guys are giving me, we don't care too too much, but we're going to try your best to bring this to tea time. Make this make sense to all of us.

Sure. Yeah. At this point, I kind of only watch it or am aware of it for the memes. Yeah. In all of it. You don't want to miss the internet side of it. Exactly. Right.

Will all of you guys be watching? No. Amelia. No, okay, sure. Yeah. I mean, well, if I have time slash. If you have time. I'm going to be a soft no, too.

Are you kidding? Okay. I shall watch the Super Bowl on behalf of Tea Time. Thank you. I'll watch the halftime show. Yeah, how do we feel about Maroon 5? Okay, I'm a Maroon 5 apologist. I'm really sorry.

That's okay. I went to a Maroon 5 concert in college with my brother and sister and my mom. And it was great. Amelia's being T-C. I'm sorry. Songs about Jane came out in 2002 and that was your last good album. Right, but they still do those songs at their concerts. Oh, good.

Yeah, you're right. They'll probably do them at the Super Bowl. They just have very generic poppy rock songs that you can just be like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Adam Levine is too up with my face these days that I wish. Oh my God. As soon as he came on the voice, I was like, I'm tired of you. Agreed.

I liked Mourine 5 more before then. Agreed. Not great for the halftime show. Right. What about Jazeel? Let's talk about her. She had an iconic response in 2012 when the Patriots last. I had to look that up.

I didn't know that they did that in 2012. I'm wondering if the Patriots lose, which is unlikely, based on absolutely no information at all. Will she have an equally assaulty response? What did she do? She basically blamed. She basically blamed. She basically.

She basically blamed Tom Brady's team, not Tom Brady. She was like, my husband can't throw the ball with people who can't catch or something like that. Yeah, you have to catch the ball when he throws it. Damn, okay, Jezal. Yeah. Yeah, I hope she's really shady. I hope she is too. Although I feel like she's found a lot of inner peace in the last five years.

Yeah, in her children and her, like, amazing lifestyle that she has. She can still be shady about the Super Bowl. Yeah. I agree. She contains multitude. I think it's very cute that she, at least in the past, has posted, because they've gone to the Super Bowl so many times lately, posted picks of like the kids. and she's like, we love you, Daddy.

Yeah, that is cute. That's very sweet. I don't really like Tom Brady, but that's very sweet. Next question. Will there be a Katie Perry slash left shark equivalent of this year's performance? Like a viral moment. Because last year there was the kid. Right, with the selfie.

Yeah, that was a great. Because it was Justin Demberlake. Yeah, it was Slim Pickens last year. Yeah, there will definitely be a viral moment. I don't know what it will be. Yeah. You're right. That's why you have to, if not watch, you have to like be online.

Right. So you don't miss it. Yeah, during the halftime. show. I can't believe we're already losing. Steve talking about the Super Bowl. That's pretty much all we have in terms of relating a ringer content. Yeah.

And now back to your normally scheduled programming. Our shortest segment ever. I know. We tried. Next category is T-Times Obsession Corner. Kate, you feel very strongly about this. I'm so glad we saved time for this. We're going to put all the time that we didn't talk about the Super Bowl into this.

Okay. T-Times Obsession Corner. We had to create a segment just to talk about Timothy Shel. One single picture. Yeah. First of all, it's three pictures. because there's in a video. Don't sell it short. Okay. Timothy Chalameh,

Kanye West, Kid Ketty, and Pete Davidson. Join together for a meal to celebrate Kid Kuddy's 35th birthday. I'm concerned about this gathering of people. I'm concerned for Timmy. Kim Kardashian posted this on our Instagram story,

so she was there as well. I don't know who else was there. That's all you need to know, really. Do you think John Legend was out of... No. If John Legend was there, he would be in that picture. Yeah. Chrissy Teagan would be, like, taking pictures with Timmy because she knows how to, she knows

what the internet wants. Yeah, she goes. Because Kim knew what the internet wanted, which was these pictures. Right. So, my first reaction was to be concerned about Timmy's choice in Pierce. We know that he, like, is obsessed with rappers and stuff. And Kid Cutty and particularly, he really, really loves. Yeah, yeah.

There was a tweet where it was like, he posted a picture of him on Instagram last year and was like, happy birthday, like, to like my icon. Yeah. And then he was like there with him for his birthday this year, which I thought was cute. That's sweet. But I don't need Pete Davidson to me. I want to know what's discussed. Stop. Okay, listen.

This came out a couple days ago. This whole office is against Pete Davidson, which is fine. I'm used to being alone in my opinions. But out of this group of people, he is not the worst and you know that. Actually, I would have to agree with that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Kanya is definitely the worst.

Well, yeah. And also, if anyone who should not be there, Pete Davidson, he needs to take care of himself. And not care of him. Okay, you're right. You're right, actually. I think Tim is fine in terms of an influence. But, yeah, maybe don't hang out with Kanye. I was going to say Kanye is a problem.

Kid Cutty is also working on his mental health. He's been, like, in a really good place. He's, I think, a really good influence. Sure. Kanye is the hospital. He should just go to a mental hospital. Right. Yeah.

And they were like, there are all these pictures like, Timmy was like drinking orange juice. Wow. I bet it was a sober of event. Oh, that's a good bet. Yeah. That's a good bet. Yeah.

They had like a big dessert plate that they seemed to be enjoying. I looked at that plate for so long. Is that what that was? It was like a bunch of different desserts. Oh, okay. I started that for too long. They were like looking at a phone and like laughing. There was a tweet there.

They were watching like the Timmy T Math video. Yeah, that was like meme, you know, meme central. Once again, Kate Hallowell, controlling the internet at large. A kind of quote from Juliet Lippman took one look at this picture and said they're all losers. A lot of people power ranked in this office, these four. Pete Davidson, like, second to last, maybe across the board, everyone we pulled. It's really sad. Was Timmy last on everyone else's last?

No, Timmy was first on everyone's list. Oh, good. Kanye was last. Okay, good. Sure. I was about to just walk right out of here. Yeah. Very rude from Juliet at Lemon, but she's literally my boss, so I'll let it go.

Other obsessions we have besides this photo. Are you okay with this moving on from that? Oh, yeah, please. Any less thoughts? Okay. Stormy is Turning 1. This is Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott's little baby. She's so cute.

Really not a lot there. She went on a vacation with the two of them to Turks and Kikos to celebrate. I am sure a huge blowout party is coming. Just happy birthday. We love you so much. I'm so obsessed with her. And also, side note, also obsessed with someone who's birthday to today. Happy birthday to Harold Stiles.

Is his real name Harold? Harold. Harold Edwards. I literally asked the same thing. He's turning 25. He's spending it in Tokyo. There's a very good picture of him holding a Shiba Inu in Tokyo that I recommend you all look up. Yeah.

And it's great. Happy birthday to Stormy and Harry. Live it up. Love it. Okay, next category is not worth the tea. I'm excited for this first one. Amelia, take it away. Okay, so some singer named Kelsey Carter decided to get a tattoo on her face of Harry Styles, speaking of Harry Styles.

I can relate. Yeah, and it's like a picture, and it looks like he's very sweaty, very wet, it's very strange looking. It looks like if you went to the pier and then a man on the pier said, I'm going to draw Harry Styles, and then he went blind, and then that woman texted. That's exactly what it's like. It's so not what he looks like. It's like a cartoon. It's wildly unflattering. Yeah.

As someone who thinks Harry Salas is attractive, I feel like you can make a couple tweaks to his face and like it's suddenly very unattractive. And like that's what this picture was. It's just very weird. And it spans her entire cheek. It's just straight. It's fake, right? But yeah, it was recently revealed.

It was all a stunt. What? Yeah. We talked about this on the first episode. You can't be leaking fake news on this. Right. Yeah, this is, I hate this so much. This is like the Justin Bieber burrito situation.

And that's why it is not worth the tea. Right. Moving on. Not worth the tea. The Fiji Water Girl from the Golden Globes. Her name is Kelleth, but her real name is Kelly Steinbeck, which is easier to say. So we're going to call her Kelly Steinbeck. She is suing Fiji because they have this giant global campaign that's putting her picture from the Golden Globes and cardboard cutouts all around the world.

She is doing just fine for the record She's doing FabFit Fun boxes on her Instagram She's selling dog food on her Instagram But to her credit She garnered $12 million worth of quote Brand exposure for Fiji So she basically just wants a cut Which I understand

Sure But at the same time she got so lucky With that entire situation Yeah that's true She's gotta just ride this into the sunset And not sue a gigantic corporation Right They gave her that platform

She wouldn't be there without them So this girl's got to relax. I knew from the moment she was on that red carpet serving those faces, I was like, I hate you and I hate you so much already. She knows exactly what she's doing, yeah. Kelly Steinbeck, you are not worth the tea.

Finally, worth a little bit of tea, a dribble of tea. Is this bleached hair phase that I think we're all in favor of? So, Chris Messina did it first at the Golden Golds. Oh, my God. Amelia's a big fan. I'm also a big fan. He did it for, I believe, a role

in like the Birds of Prey, DC movie. He's like a superhero villain. Then Zach Efron, I believe, also did it for a role. And then somebody was like, it's a trend now. And so they photoshopped it onto Timothy Chalameh. They did Troy Savon's hair. Yeah. Looked incredible.

So good. His curly hair is meant to be bleached blonde. Yeah. And it makes, we talked about this, his eyebrows that much better. Oh, yeah. The brow game was like intensified by like 10 times. And his cheekbones. His whole bones structure.

His coloring looked great. Yeah. Yeah. It's only a matter of time, honestly. It feels inevitable. He looked amazing. amazing. His curls are such like a signature look for him. Yeah. That I think he'll eventually like have to do the thing where he's like, I'm changing my image. And that's like when he'll

chop it off. I was going to say, I'd rather have him do bleach blonde than buzz cut. Yes. I'm not sure about that. And his little head, I don't know. I want him to have as much hair as possible because it really fills out. Also makes him taller. Also very important. That is important. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Go blonde before. Maybe he'll go blonde and then he'll buzz it off because like you have to recover from like frying your hair. Yeah, yeah. That'll probably, that's the natural order. of hair events. Just in case you're listening to me. Okay, our last

topic of this episode is Tea Time's most unanswerable question of the week. Amelia, you go first. Okay, so I actually wrote about this on Theringer.com the other day. Shout out to Andrew Griddharo, great editor. Why are people saying Ted Bundy is hot? Like, I just don't...

Okay, one, he's actually not... I mean, not that you shouldn't ever take into account his horrible crimes. He's a serial killer and rapist. But he's not hot. Even considering all the hotties that were back in the day in the 70s, are you people crazy? So there was this trend of people, Zach Afron's playing in a movie. There was this trend of people like basically being like, Ted Bundy could murder me and bury my head through mouth down the road.

Yeah, he would do that. Right. Which defeats that purpose. Exactly. Here's the problem. Murder is in glamorized more than ever. Yes. So wildly uncomfortable.

Yeah. I blame, I don't know, cereal perhaps. Dexter. Serial kicked it off. Dexter was very early. I feel like in the last two years, it's really gotten to a level where people have got to relax. Right. I love true crime, but this is a step too far. Ted Bundy, not hot. Not hot. Extremely not hot. Just an ugo. Like, have you seen his face? Not attractive. Like skinny little snively nose. He's got a unibrow. This is offensive

to actual hot people like Robert Redford. Okay, also offensive to, you know, the family's in, like, and them too. Literally does. But mostly rubber-red for you. But this is just, it's not funny. You're not funny on Twitter people. It's just, just don't. Hey, internet.

Like, please stop joking about murder. Exactly. Because he's a horrible human being. Bad karma. Who is not hot? Okay. Next on an answerable question. Next on an answerable question.

This just came up as a random debate last week when we were celebrating my birthday. And it kind of like raged out of control. So I just needed to bring it back up in a condition. controlled setting. We were debating Pete Davidson, as we like to do in our free time as well. And it came up about like, is there a female Pete Davidson? Is there a female equivalent? I want to start out by saying there isn't really one because in order to be Pete Davidson, you kind of have to be a man. Right. Like there are certain, like, for example, my answer was that it's Jenny Slate, that she's like the closest thing we have to a female Pete Davidson.

But you can't really answer that because Jenny Slate was kicked off of S&L for same F word. Whereas Pete Davidson breaks in every single segment doesn't really do anything. And they're just like, yeah, more. And it's still on us. Okay, I'll participate in this conversation if we're talking about that. I will not stand for anymore Pete Davidson hate in my life in general starting on this podcast right the second. Because Jenny Slate, there's no, yeah. Right, you were against it because you were like, she's not good enough to be the female.

Yeah, exactly. Whereas everyone else was like, don't do that to Jenny Slate. Yeah, exactly. And you have on here an alternative, which is equally offensive. Amy Schumer. That was the other alternative that we thought was maybe a Pete Davidson. Was there like a, I don't know, an argument for that? I disagreed with that.

I really think it's Jenny Slate. I think she has a similar, like, quirky, like, oversharing quality where she tells you every single thing about our life that makes you kind of uncomfortable but also kind of makes her relatable. Has a lot of like mental health things that she's been very open about. But also, I think it was brought up that like she has dated a lot of hot dudes. That's the other thing, too. Which is, come on.

What? No, well, I think she's beautiful. She is. She is beautiful. She hasn't. And she's Pete Davidson. I don't get with them. No, I have a similar thing, though, where you can like, you're like, Pete Davidson has kind of a weird hot appeal.

Yes. And I think the same way that Jenny Slate does. And I think Jenny Slate is hotter than Pete Davidson objectively. But. We're all in such a shit. This is on a whole other page. But they've both dated people who, I'm going to say this, with respect to both of them, would be seen as like out of their league.

Okay. They're conventionally very attractive. Right. Jenny Slate has dated Chris Evans and Jennings. John Ham. Damn. Get it, girl.

Just take a minute to think about that. Okay. Yeah, I guess. Taking a minute. That's incredible. No. And then Pete Davidson, Ariada Grande.

Yeah. Right. But I just think Jenny... She's got it. I agree. This is why this is an unanswerable question because they're so different. Pete Davidson is really in a league of his own in many different ways, not even like the hotness that I feel that he has.

He's just like he's a completely different case that I feel like it's why everyone's obsessed with talking about him. There is no real female people at Dayton. and I don't think. But I personally think Johnny Slate is the closest. If you have a suggestion, please tweet it at us.

Please, please. This is a question that I feel very strongly about. Yes. Okay. Finishing off this category and this episode, why is Kylie Jenner's

most post-made item a turkey and provolone sub from Jersey Mikes? I have no idea. I'm opening this up to you guys. Why? It's the most bland sandwich. Yeah.

Like the most bland meat, the most bland cheese. What kind of sauce does she have with it? Like mayo? Probably. Once again, you got all the resources in the world. Why are you doing Jersey mics and Calabasasas? Why? Also, postmates, the whole point is you can kind of get it from far-reaching places.

Exactly. Also, on that note, if it's Jersey mics, I mean, that would take 10 minutes. It's probably extremely closer house because Calabasas is pretty small. She has teams of people. Yes, that can drive there and pick up her stuff. I feel like it's a worse errand to bring a random postmates to your house. Yeah. A stranger with just one turkey, provalone stuff?

Is that worth it, Kylie? For your privacy? Is it? Apparently. She's, okay, she spent over $10,000 in 2018 on Postmates. How do they get this information? Not to interrupt you. Because Postmates itself, I'm imagining as for her permission because she's featured.

They do this thing where it's like Postmates receipts. Right. I kind of love that. Yeah. Kind of an invasion of privacy, but I guess she signed off on it. She was fine. Right before having Stormy, this is a complete different aside. She ordered multiple Oreo McFlurries, a 10-piece chicken nugget and French fries.

This is fascinating. I know. That sounds great. Really interesting. Yeah. She currently holds the unofficial record for the most postmate orders in a 10-minute window. Of course she does. It was four.

She ordered four times in 10 minutes, which is absolutely amazing. Close second was Mallory Rubin. Yeah, I know. Last question about Kylie Jenner's postmate's history is why did Kylie Jenner postmate a single raw carrot to her house? One single. That was the whole order? Yeah, that's it. Wait, also, where would you get, like a grocery store?

Yeah. But why? 10 assistants to the grocery store. So she can do this. So she can tell the story and be like quirky. Does she have pets? Yes, she has a ton. She has chicken.

She's like a million dogs. She has like all types of things. My mind immediately went to like feed it. It's like a guinea pig. I guess but one? I think that in bulk at least. You know? Yeah.

It makes no sense. There's a lot of questions here. Was it organic? Was it regular? Like where are we getting this carrot? Do you think that postmates? He's like in the Bristol Farms in Calabasas. He's going through the vegetable aisle and he sees

Kylie Jenner needs. one carrot. You think he's like, where did I, where, where did I go in my life that I ended up right here in this moment? Yeah. Questioning all the stories. Also, I would be very nervous. I'd be like, I don't know what kind of carrot. Yeah. Big, small, medium. Right. We don't know. There's no answers to this question. I'm just going to put it out in the universe. I'm confused. It's very, so yeah, you want to tweet us your answers to that too. Yeah. We should get that. You should always try to answer our unanswerable question. Please. Please help us. Okay. That is all the time we have.

for today. Thank God. This has been Tea Time. I'm Liz Kelly. I'm Kate Howell. And I'm Amelia Wettemeyer.