The Press Box - 'Bachelorette Party' — The Return of the Contestant Bios (Ep. 307)

Episode Date: May 19, 2017

The Ringer's Juliet Litman and Andrew Gruttadaro team up to discuss the latest news from the world of 'The Bachelor' (02:00) and then jump into the 'Bachelorette' bios (07:00), giving out awards such as "First Impression Rose" (09:30) and "Highest Paradise Potential" (12:00), and pick their favorite to take home the final rose (32:45). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, it's Bill Simmons. The Ringer is very excited about our new podcast that went through a lot of name iterations. What did you decide on Larry Wilmore? Larry Wilmore, black on the air. What was the runner up? Well, the Bill Simmons idea was, was it Larlarland? Was that what it was? Was that what it was going to subscribe to Larlarland? That joke was that it would be the worst idea for a podcast. No, it was horrible. You don't want people thinking worst when they're signing up the podcast. No, I wanted you to have a good one. This is a very good name. So what's going to be in the this podcast. It's going to be me kind of weighing in on some of the issues of the day with my audience. And then I'll be interviewing some really cool people during the podcast. Each week, it'll be somebody different. Sometimes with culture, sometimes politics, sometimes sports, sometimes maybe an interest of mine, sometimes television. I've worked a lot in television. Yeah. We got Norman Lear coming up, Bernie Sanders, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. So lots of great guests.

Awesome. Welcome to the podcast in World, Larry Wilmore. Subscribe to Larry Wilmore's podcast wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Bachelorette Party. I'm Juliet Litman. We are five days out from the return of Rachel's season. I'm here today with Andrew Grittado Ringer editor. Hi, Andrew. What's up? Thanks for having me. You're welcome. Thanks for coming. There's been a lot of developments in the Bachelor universe. Number one, Ben and Lauren broke up on Monday or it was reported on Monday. How do you feel about this? You know, I like Ben and I like Lauren. I'm sorry for their loss. But I think it's for the best. Seems like It just didn't seem like they were that happy. What's, what's, actually she didn't seem that happy. Yeah.

This has been, has this been bubbling for a bit? Yeah, well, on their show, they were like supposed to get married and then they postponed it. So that's never a good sign. Is he going to go into politics now?

Ben? Well, Lauren didn't want him to, but not have to ABC. Lauren was against it. So maybe he can. I don't know. He's trying to, yeah. He could like get in,

if there's like an opening of the presidency. He could, uh, I wish him all the best. Me too. Me too. Hopefully come back on this podcast. Friend of the pod. Love, love Ben.

Good luck to Lauren. I just read that she's moving back to L.A. to pursue a career in modeling. She could do it. Yeah, she's pretty. I don't think Denver was the right fit for her. No, no, she's more of a Cali girl. Yeah, she's a last coaster.

She's in Portland. I get it. She's cool. I like Lauren, though. It's like, I just do. So I hope she finds her way. Shout out to both of them. Other news, Rachel Lindsay, the Bachelorette.

I really like Rachel. It's very tough. she has two first names because I was like reading some articles about her and they're referring to her by her last name of Lindsay. I have a hard time writing about her because I go back and forth. Right. So I think she just has to be like Madonna. She's just Rachel. We got to drop the Lindsay. Everyone knows who you're talking about when you say Rachel. Right. So like we should just name her Bachelorette Rachel and like if you want to go shorthand for your writing, just use Rachel. Full name Bachelorette. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Anyway, the news about her and this is like a very mild

spoiler. So if you don't want to hear this, fast forward like 90 seconds. That's your warning. The news about her is that she's engaged, that she accepted the proposal at the end of the show. Which I... Is that a spoiler to you? I don't think it's a spoiler. I think she seems so like into this whole thing that I can't imagine her like flouting the rules. Right. She seems like, also she's a lawyer. She's a rule abiding citizen. Right. Like she, when there's a mandate, she sticks to it. Exactly. Exactly. Also, I was just doing a mental scan in my head. I think the only time there's not been a proposal is Brad Womack. Yeah, I'm going to trust you here, but that sounds right. I believe that was the only one. At least in the common Bachelor era. So it's not that surprising. It's not a spoiler. But I guess it kind of is. It's true. It's sort of like, I guess it just means like in their promos, they won't be like, will there be a proposal?

That's the thing. Like the last episode, there's not going to be like a will she say yes? Yeah. It's more of like a who's got to propose. Yeah. So it's really a marketing change. Yeah, which they've really been dipping their toes into. Right.

This whole thing with Rachel has been totally different. Why do you think that is? Do you think they're worried about because like I don't know. So new terrain is a black woman? They need to like do something different. I don't know. It's kind of inexplicable. Yeah, it kind of seems like they're trying really hard to sell it.

and they seem to be like working themselves a little too hard. Yeah. I think everyone loves Rachel. Me too. And like she was by far my favorite person from last season. So she seemed very real. I don't need like more incentive to watch, but that kind of seems like what's going on here. It's true.

I don't really get it. I mean, let's just. And Rachel, I trust. Exactly. Last piece of news, which will lead us into the real matter at hand. Coming this winter, there's a supplementary Bachelor, program called Bachelor Winter Games. The Winter Games.

The Winter Games. It'll be on in February. Counter-programming to the Olympics. Yeah. How do you rank winter-winter games? Number one, Bachelor. Number two, Olympics, for sure. What about you?

You know, we've talked about this. We differ in opinion here. My thing is, like, I want to see these former contestants doing actual Winter Olympic Games. I want to see, like, the ski jump. Bob sled. Bob sled. I want to see Corinne Luge.

You know, and like maybe fall asleep while she's doing it. Sure. That's what I don't want like, they have to like get in a hot tub and then run in their bathing suit through the snow.

Okay. That's fair. That's probably going to happen. Definitely. Definitely would be closer to like the early challenge days and they did like really ridiculous things in bathing suits pretty much.

Although I will like watch them do a spelling bee. Yeah. Spelling Bee is great. Remember on the challenge when they had the gigantic. gigantic ice blocks and had to rub their bodies up and down to melt the ice. That would be a good one for the Bachelor Winter Games. Yes. Okay. Okay. If that happens, then maybe these Winter Games eclips the actual Winter Olympics.

Did you watch Bachelor Pad? Yeah, I barely remember it, though. Because Bachelor Pat had some really absurd challenges. It was basically, like, let's get an inch, like, put two people in one trapeze and, like, see how they can, like, dry hump to, like, move themselves around. I don't know. I think you're undervaluing winter games. I think it's going to be entertaining. You know, I'm going to go in. You want to know it's not entertaining is the Winter Olympics. They just suck.

So this will be way better. Yeah, yeah, they're not that good. Like, but again, I will watch Bachelorette contestants try to figure skate. Okay. And so this is relevant right now because we're about to jump into the Bachelorette Bro Bios. This is the best day when these things come out. It's great stuff. It's just so.

It's so. fun. Real twist this year. They waited until five days before the show and Chris Harrison did like a Facebook live to present them. You watched it. Can you tell me what happened on this video stream? Okay, so he I don't know where he was but he was. In an undisclosed location.

Undisclosed location. It looked like he was kind of there against his will and he was standing in front of a green screen and behind, so the picture behind him just said the Bachelorette and... Very low budget on the graphics. Super, yeah, super. And

he just literally, they would reveal a guy's face, and he would throw out a snarky comment here or there. Really? Yeah. What were her comments like? Like, cool shirt or like, good haircut, bro. Like, what was he kind of saying? Well, for, like, one guy for Rob, he was like, oh, this guy's giving me a Tom Cruise vibe,

which, like, I kind of see. But then he, like... It's like, Chris, you've met all these guys. They told, they must have told him, like, hey, we need to stretch this because he blathered on about these guys. And, you know, he kind of got a little rude once in a while. Really? Yeah, it was weird.

It seemed like they were anticipating all of the articles that come out when these bios come out. And everyone's cracking jokes. It's gotten very self-aware. And it seemed like they were trying to get in front of it and have Chris Harrison be the guy to make those jokes. I think that's a bad strategy. It didn't. It wasn't a good look. It's a better idea for them to just be super earnest and like lean into it.

Yeah. And not like be aware of the whole culture around it. Like I'm not looking for The Bachelor to like wink at me. I don't care if you know I exist. They can be like super self-aware about how unself aware they are. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're right.

They should just lean into it. It was weird. I guess it is just different with this season with Rachel because the criticism has been so much but how white and like not diverse it is. Yeah. So it does. So it is like a big deal. So they kind of have to engage them.

But at the same time, I don't really want them to. Like, I'm just like, yeah, this is great. Yeah. Let's keep it. I think Rachel said it too. She was like, she was like, this is going to be just like any other season. Right. Which I fully believe.

I fully believe it too. Based on the guys, that's for sure. Okay, so we're going to get into it. There's 31 of them. Some of them are real snoozes and I don't even want to talk about them. So we're going to start by just kind of handing out some awards, some superlatives, if you will. Okay. And then if we don't hit everyone who's important, we'll come back to them.

Sounds good. I would like to begin with who is the recipient of your first impression rose. Blake Kay. Blake Kay. Blake Kay, he looks like if John Cho was hotter. Oh, he does kind of look like that. That is true. He is a Marine.

He is, yes. Which, like, that might not have legs for the whole season, but for the first night, I feel like he can really milk that veteran angle. I have really big news. Blake Kay is also the recipient of my. first impression was. Yes. Yes. I'm so glad we're on the same page here. I'm just curious what, what for you sealed the deal? You're like, oh yeah, first impression, because I know what mine was. Basically his gorgeous face. Really? So it breathed all his face. Okay. But the marine thing helps for me.

Okay, because for me, there's two things. One, he answered this question, thusly. If you were stranded on a desert island, what would it be made of? Chipotle. Chipole. Because Chipotle is my life. Yes. Chippole is such a down the middle yes response. Then it was like, yeah, this guy is really good for an hour. Like, if you just need to have an hour long conversation with him, he has like the right topics in his conversational toolkit that it's not going to be awkward. Like, you're going to want to talk to him again. And on the first night, I feel like that's all you need.

Yeah, he really, he seems to have that face too that's like inviting, but, you know, not crazy. Yeah, totally. And then he had another really good answer, which was do you, the question was, do you have a serious fear of any kind of animal? And he said, sharks, have you ever seen Shark Week? I can't get into the ocean for weeks after watching. If you were like, give me two cool guy signifiers, Chipotle would be one and Shark Week would be the other. Yeah, he definitely knows like the beats to hit.

Yeah, exactly. And that's all you need on night one. So Blake Kay is on to Week 2. I bet he can wear a suit well too. Yeah, for sure. Obviously, I'm in love with Blake Kay right now. You're kind of blushing. I'm blushing.

He's also, in case you guys are wondering, he's 29, he's a Marine veteran, no tattoos, which is interesting. these guys have so many. He's six feet tall and he is from San Francisco. Really weird thing that they did this year is there's like a landing page that has all of their all of the guys listed, which is like, you know, that's cool like online media parlance for like a place where you can find everything. And then it links out to each guy's profile.

On those specific profile pages, it doesn't have their hometown. Yeah. And I was just like, what the fuck? This is a crucial piece of data that I need to know to evaluate them. I was very annoyed by that. It was really weird. Wow. I can't believe we.

We picked Blake Kay, we both picked him for our first impression. I'm so glad. That's like pretty big. Yeah. It's really huge. Um, okay. Next, who has the highest paradise potential to you? Um, I have two for this.

Okay, great. Demerio. Demerio. Yes. Demerio's, um, Dmerio's answers are insane. Insane.

He is so excited in all of, like, how many exclamation points are in his answers? Like, 12? Yeah, there's quite a few. There's quite a few. Let's just say he's 30. He's jacked. He's an executive recruiter. He's six foot four.

And he's from Century City, California, which he can't be from there. He just lives there. Century City is like just, if you are from there, you would say I'm from L.A. People aren't born there. And second of all, like, that's just basically where CIA is. I'm assuming he works for CIA. It's a kind of place I would have an executive recruiter on staff. And he's really into pop culture per his responses.

So I'm just going to assume he works there. His answers are so in tune with pop culture. They're pretty, pretty absurd. What is your favorite of the craziness that he said? I really like how he says that he's crazy, but not like 0-607 Britney crazy. And also not 2011 Charlie Sheen crazy. Those are two really big temples and the spectrum of crazy. So good for him.

Yeah. Yeah. He really knows. He does really know. Also, he said, the question was, what is the most romantic present you've ever given in? Why? And he said, surprise tickets to see Beyonce and JZ because B and J. and J equals everyone's relationship calls.

This is a real man of the social media. He really is. He knows it. He also loves Denzel Washington. Which is a theme across most of these guys. That's just a theme across men of a certain age. There's like 12 guys who named Denzel in their answers. Although some of them also named Matthew McConaughey.

There are trends. There's Denzel. There's Matthew McConaughey. There's Dwayne the Rock Johnson. And then Alon Musk. He comes up multiple times. Yeah. Those are like the four.

like that's like the mountain rushmore for the men who run this season of The Bachelor Adults. Those are the four guys. Yeah, absolutely. Which I honestly, I was like, this is a pretty good sampling of what men 25 to 32 are like. Yeah, I agree. Like, how old are you? I'm 28. Like, all of those are like pretty familiar and like significant to you, right? Yeah. Like I was, I was becoming a man when Matthew McConaughey started saying all right again. Right. And then like now he's just like the guy that I want to be. Do you want to be Matthew McConaughey? Uh, Come on.

I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be against it. I wouldn't say in my Bachelorette answers that he's the guy I want to be. But he was at like a baseball game yesterday with a mustache and an all right hat. He was wearing all right hat? Yes. Oh my God. He's having a great time. He's leaned into that brand.

Wow. Oh, yeah. Wow. Okay. The other guy that I picked for Bachelor Pad is Kenny. Kenny. Kenny, the professional wrestler. Okay.

Wow. This is a place where we differ, but I'm excited. Keep going. Great for television. He's clearly a performer. So he's a wrestler. His name was Kenny King. I checked in with our wrestling expert, David Shoemaker about him. He said he's legit. He said, he said, he said. He said, he's good to know. He's like, actually good at wrestling. And he's like, he's doing it. He has the broadest shoulders I've ever seen. So. It's good for wrestling. I'm happy to hear he's putting them to use. Yeah, definitely. He also wore, for some reason, it looks like everyone's wearing, like, the, like, the exact same shirt. Yep. But his looks a little, just a little bit different.

Just like the way it sits on his body, just a little bit different. I actually think it might be a sweater. Yeah, I thought it looked like it was long sleeves, whereas everyone else's was short sleeves. It's getting cut off right at the, like the nipple,

basically, so you can't really tell. But I had the same thought. Like, it looks like it was a different kind of weight and, like, sleeve length than everyone else. I think this guy is going to be great in the sense that people are going to dislike him. And he's, I think he's going to be very extra.

and perform. Okay, so he had one answer that is just so, I wonder for thinking of the same one. Probably are. He had one answer that was just like, I think you're on the wrong TV show. And the question was, what is your favorite all-time book

and why? First of all, poorly worded by ABC, but that's beside the point. His answer was, the new Jim Crow, it enlightened me a whole, enlighten me to a whole lot. That's a book by Michelle Alexander,

basically about the institutional discrimination of the American prison and justice system. It's like an extremely important book. It has informed a lot of the prison reform movement. And it's like one of the most important books about race written in the last 25 years. Well, this is the thing that like reading these, I can never tell who these guys think are reading them. Right. Do they think that they're answering them and the Bachelorette is going to read them and be like, oh, he's the guy I want?

Yeah. Or am I reading it? And I'm like, yeah, that's the guy I want. Because I was like, Kenny, cool. I was so excited that he said that. In my notes, I wrote Unfair Advantage. He's already an entertainer. And then I wrote, like, like, and I also wrote Good Kind of Weird.

So. But, okay, he also has another answer that is kind of sketchy. Okay, what is it? Well, I just want to say it's not sketchy to cite that book. It's just weird to go on the show inside the book. Totally, totally. This answer that he gave was sketchy, though. And it's the one about his.

crazy as sexual experience when he says that he had sex with someone's wife while the husband washed which is insane that he is openly talking about this are you sure that was him i don't think that's not him that was not him oh excuse me his because he ever have to his his sexual question is ever have trouble in the bedroom or been turned on during the wrong time he's quick drama girl we want to hear it happened and he said there was about two weeks and I first started dating my ex that I was quick draw McGraw. Okay. That's that is not that weird.

Okay, never mind. That's embarrassing, but not that weird. Right. Who's the guy who has had sex? No, I can't. Okay. We'll come back to him. I'm so sorry that I did this to you.

Yeah, seriously. I was like, this guy seems good. What are you talking about? The other other, the only thing I was like weird about him and I like this is it, the question was, what was the most romantic present you've ever given? And his answer was different edible arrangements every day for a birthday. week. Yes.

That's a great move. How many edible arrangements are there? I think there's a lot. When I was in college, when my college roommate, this was very early in the edible arrangement days. Her mom used to send them on like Easter or like other holidays. And it was great. Yeah, I loved it.

That's delicious. Totally. It doesn't want food. Yeah. It's usually made of like, you can decide like fruit. Yeah. It's great. Melons.

Exactly. The melons were I was into that. But I like Kenny. I think he's going to make it like to the top seven. Just being an entertainer and comfortable on camera is a huge advantage. Yeah, he's, yeah, he'll, he's going to be around for a month. Yeah, for sure. Okay, my pick for highest paradise potential.

I have a high paradise potential and also winter games upside. Okay. First we'll do high paradise potential. And for that, I selected Bryce. Bryce. Bryce, let me tell you about Bryce. Tell me why. Bryce is a firefighter from Orlando, which is like, that's like the type of man.

Doesn't follow fire code though, because he caught. fire on a girl's hair. Yes, that was very weird. They were having sex. Very. Sorry to cut you up. So one new wrinkle with the bios this year is they got rid of the where they're from, but they added like all these sexual questions.

Yeah. Which is a real. It's really game changer. Certainly makes them less bland and almost in some ways like less prone to speculation because it kind of lays a lot out there. Oh my God. I know so much about all these guys. So Bryce, like you said, the answer to what's the wildest thing you've been on the bedroom?

caught a girl's hair on fire once while having sex. That had to be like firefighter theme. That or candle's one really badly. One of the two. Or maybe they were the same thing. It worked out. Yeah. He was like, wow, I actually didn't know how much I wanted this.

Really weird. Hair also very flammable, so be careful. He has quite the jaw. He is quite the jaw. I don't find him attractive. But he is like the kind of like, he sort of looks like one of the elves from Lord of the Rings. Like he could have been a relative of, or like,

Orlando Blooms in those movies. Just some other things about him. This is one of the more upsetting things I've heard from one of these contestants ever. His dream job is being a professional Instagrammer. Yeah, he comes out and says that. He says, how cool would it be to travel the world going on adventures and helping people solely funded through pictures you post of living your dream life? That is literally perfect for reality television.

Because what you do after you're on the show is you get paid to post Instagrams. So he is living his dream. So in some ways, I'm like, kudos to you. You're making it happen, my dude. That's how I feel about it. But I also just like a, for, for Rachel's sake, he's not good enough. Yeah. He's just not.

I'm sorry. And I don't know. I find him a little, uh, just, he's just not for me. I'm not in Tam. But I think he'll be great in paradise. Just great. Okay. He'll make it work.

And obviously, he'll be taking a ton of pictures while he's there. Yeah. Um, winter games upside? Brady. Very, very much. Oh, yeah. Brady will be headed to the male model. Yeah.

Absolutely. Let me tell you a little bit more about Brady. Okay. So, first of all, he looks like a cross between Robbie who came in second on Jojo season and Jojo herself. Like maybe he's related to Jojo. He's a male model. He's six foot two. Also has no tattoos. He's from Miami, Florida.

And let me just read you a couple of his answers. I mean, he's just pretty out of control. What's the most romantic present you've ever received and why? this made me very mad. Lulu Lemon sweatpants. She knew the weight of my heart is covering on a couch and well-me-in-high-quality sweats. Seriously, dude. That's bad. That's not okay.

That's not okay. I don't think it's all right for anyone to admit to loving Lulu Lemon. It's just a real pox on you. Yeah, you don't do that. Like, fine, wear it, like secretly, but no, I just can't, I can't get it. It's a bad answer. I just, it's really bad. And then also, who's the person you dislike most in the world and why?

Mike's the situation, I'm Jersey Shore. He is not the only person to dislike Mike the situation. What is their problem? I don't know. Don't they know that they're on a reality show too? I know. And also, like, where would they be without Mike the situation? Yes.

But the Jersey Shore did so much for the genre. I don't think it's appreciated enough. I don't think they understand this. Like, it was like a, you know, a compelling genre of television already, like, well on its way. And then the Jersey Shore came along and, like, changed the game. It turned up the dials. It's, like, one of the most important TV shows of the 21st century. I'm right there with you.

I really mean that. I fully agree with you. I'm not kidding. And it's like maybe you don't, you know, maybe you don't want to hang out with Mike the situation. But if you're on television, you need to appreciate him and his work. The person that he dislikes the most in the entire world. I know. Like, we're talking like.

Isn't like the situation. There's like many worst people alive. Like, yeah. Like a mass murderer. Yeah. Or like any, any murderer. Or the guy who killed the lion, you know, the dentist. That guy.

The doctor or dentist. He's a bad dude. People hate that guy. Yeah. The worst thing situation did was not pay his taxes. Not pay his taxes. And like, okay, he's going to be punished for that. Yeah.

He's having a bad time as it is. He doesn't need Bachelor contestants, like, crapping on him. It's so bizarre. Also, his favorite book I never heard of, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Have you heard of that? No, I kept reading it and was like, oh, is he talking about that Van Morrison song? Very strange. And then if you'd be someone else for just one day, who would it be in Y?

Channing Tatum, so I could be rich, good looking, have a hot wife, and bust out some sweet moves. So we can expect this got to be dancing. Yeah, that answer. actually made so much sense when I read it. I was like, that seems like Brady. I hate Brady. I know that we're going to be getting a lot of him, and I'm just not looking forward to it.

Okay. This isn't a real twist that I threw at you, which I think was confusing, but hopefully... A little bit. Hopefully it made sense to you. I'll give you mine first, so you can be sure that you're doing it right. Okay.

This is the Dream Bigger Award, which means want more for Rachel. Acceptable guy. He's cool. Don't hate him. But you're just like, really, you think this is who Rachel belongs with? like she's a great girl, she really deserves more. And that's sort of like what I was looking for when I was thinking about this.

And for me, the winner of that is Blake E, the other Blake. So Blakey, he was one of the guys that we met in the after the final rose. Oh, I forgot about that. He was one of those four guys. You're right. And he did this really awkward thing where he tried to kiss Rachel's hand. Oh, no. And she like kind of pulled it back.

And it was a very awkward situation. So he's out in the first week. Yeah, he might not be around. But I, well, I don't think he deserves to be. Yeah. He is an aspiring drummer from Marina del Rey. Aspiring anything in your bio, it's a real red flag. He's 31 years old.

I know. Not going to happen, dude. If you haven't gotten behind the drums yet, it's not going to happen. He has, he loves the drums, though. He has tattoos. I have L R L-R-L, D, drum rudiment, and D for the dog. He rests you down his left arm. I don't know what that means, but fine.

And then he just has such a lame, lame bio. Like, these are all things that are just, like, would be cool stories, one at a time, perhaps. They're coming from a cool person, but he's clearly not. He's had his three worst attributes were sensitivity, procrastination, and patience. I'm like, dude, you know those are all good ones.

This is a non-job interview. And then, what's the most outrageous thing you've ever done? He said, get engaged to a crazy girl. He mentions her a few times. A few times. He's very affected by her. And the closest you've ever come to being married, I was engaged for 48 hours.

Yeah. Eeks. Eeks. Eeks. He's not great. No, he's really not. and this one also was just really stupid. What does your ideal meat look like? I prefer fit and curvy, but I'm a sucker for a nice butt and a beautiful smile.

Curvy says, it's like, it says nice by you need to say it twice. He's redundant. And then finally, I did not like this. Who is the person who's like most in the world and why? Parking ticket people because they don't have souls.

I'm like, they're just doing their job. They're doing, yeah. Whatever. They've got, don't park, don't park we're not supposed to.

How about that? Yeah. Pay your meter. How about that? Yeah. Don't say that to a lawyer who follows the law. Seriously. He's a real buck passer. I don't know. I like a personal vendetta against Blake.

I understand that. Also, his shirt's too tight. Yeah. The sharks are really something. He's also trying to do that haircut and that most bachelor guys do and he's not pulling it off. It's not working. Have you determined who had sex with someone in front of the other person's mate? I still haven't.

Okay, we got to figure that out before the end. I can't remember who it is. Okay. Who is your Dream Bigger Award winner? My dream bigger award winner is Matt. Matt? Okay. He said he wants to be Matt Lauer.

Oh yeah. That's really bad. That's a weird, like why? Yeah. Do you like Matt Lauer? I don't feel any way about Matt Lauer. I do not. I actively dislike him.

Okay. Like, I could go either way, but to want to be Matt Lauer is a weird thing to say. Again, there are so many other people in the world that you could be. And let me read you a quote That he has for Justin Timberlake, train, and John Mayer. Oh, my God. He says all three have gone their own route and still stood the test of time. Oh, my God.

Justin Timberlake, train and John Mayer. Those are really tough. Really tough. The test of time for Justin Bieber will Justin Timberlake is much longer. Yeah. I mean, all three. Train. Train.

Has train? Train has gone their own route. They have? Train just covered like heart and soul, didn't they? Did they? Yeah. They have not understood the test of time for me. Also, during the Facebook live event that I watched, Chris Harrison said that Matt shows up in a penguin

suit. Oh, no. Why are they giving away these details? Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't like that. That's okay, but I don't understand that strategy. No.

The first night, the anticipation of like what's going to happen is so much part of the show. I don't want to know I don't want to know who these guys are in advance I don't want to know what costumes they're coming in Like let's reveal let's say that all for the 22nd Yeah that bothers me Yeah I don't like it Matt Matt he seems like a fine guy

Like but yeah sure But he really loves train Sure And he really loves Matt Lauer Which I just can't get behind Matt Lauer I just can't I can't deal with that I just can't I yeah

Do you have anyone who jumps out to you Is the very obviously out the first night Yeah Give me hit me Well for a second I thought it was going to be Eggie Okay I have Aggie

I think it's Iggy Well there's more than one out The first night But to me Go ahead and explain why you think It's gonna be Iggy I'm sure we agree on that Because his

His questionnaire was just so Half-assed It's just like he got lazy He didn't care And if he didn't care To fill that out And they were willing to post it To me it just indicates that

He leaves early And there's no reason To like really study him Or know a lot about him He also looks like a guy Who is gonna try so hard. Yeah, he's a dry hard.

And just like... Haircut very bad. Just really put Rachel off. Is he the lone button down wearer? He's wearing a button down. Fred is wearing a button down and a sweater. Right. Yes, that was a bold move.

And so he's not the only one. Most of these men are not. I liked Fred a lot, by the way. I have some thoughts about Fred. What are they? Well, actually didn't like... I didn't like Fred, but he was a sneaky first impression guy for me. He was my runner up.

Fred, there's another story that I heard during this Facebook. Please, it's okay. You can tell me. If it's out there, it can be on this podcast. Fred went to the same camp as Rachel. Like summer camp as kids? And she was his camp counselor. Whoa.

And he has apparently held a candle for her since his teen years. Well, then I really like her. I like him. Because I'm a camp person. Okay. And camp relationships are my favorite are like, there's a few people in my camp orbit where like they knew each other's kids and got together as adults. And then I know I have a couple of friends also their parents met a camp.

I didn't do camp. Well, you missed out. It's a huge mistake. Yeah, that's what camp people say. It's a huge mistake. Anyway, I like this. That makes me like Fred and kind of confirms that I think he could be a sneaky contender for the first impression of us. It's going to go one way or the other, really.

Yeah, I mean. Like she's going to think it's cute or she's going to be like, oh my God, I remember you. Yeah. Like, no, that's going to go well. I think that's going to go well. Let me read some of his answers. They're kind of weird. Yes.

But that's also why I liked him. First of all, who's your favorite artist? Jean-Michel Basquiat. So that's like, you know, almost on the level of Michelle Crow. I feel like he, a lot of his answers, he's like trying to suck up. Totally. And then this was a really weird one. If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be in Y?

Ellen DeGeneres because she seems to love what she does and people's days are brightened when they are around her. Like, that is true, but just very weird to want to be Ellen. Yeah. You can admire someone without wanting to be them. You know what I mean? Is Fred also the guy who says, but his perfect date involves his sister and his mother.

Oh, God, maybe. Because that was an alarm for me. Yeah, that is a huge warning sign. He did say that. Describe your perfect hometown date. Where would it be and who would be there? My perfect hometown date, we have my sister's and my mom.

We would go to Papadou. So I looked that up, which is a chain in Texas. Yeah. Sounds great. It does. It sounds like Southern Creole food. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a huge red flag,

but also not the kind of thing that comes out. on the first night. Sure. So he definitely, I feel like we're going to get a lot of Fred screen time in night one. Fred might be a goofball, honestly. He's just rocking these sweaters and. Also,

ever have trouble in the bedroom or been turned on during the wrong time? We want to hear what happened. Oh, yeah. Yes, there are times that I get aroused at work and I have to go back to my desk to avoid being noticed. Okay, so where is he when this happens? He's not at his desk and he has to physically go back to his desk. So we can rule out porn.

It's not like he's severely like looking at pictures. Somewhere around the office and he's like, oh, I better go back to my desk now. If you work with Fred, you need to rethink everything. Fred is going to get fired. Everyone's going to be like, oh, Fred. He's like, well, I need to go. Sorry. Or just like silos away.

It's very uncomfortable for his coworkers. Very strange. Yeah. I don't understand who these guys think are reading these questions. Very weird. Very, very weird. Okay. Did you have a pick for winner?

Do anyone who you think is going to win? God, it's really hard. It's very hard for this one. Yeah, a lot of these guys don't seem to have much going on for them. There was either like very, like impressive or very unimpressive. Like, for example, there's someone who's a Fulbright scholar. Yeah. That's wild.

That's like a very rarefied air. That's Anthony. And he like is an international man of travel. I liked Anthony, but mostly you're a lot of Fulbright. Anthony is the Northwestern football player. Oh, my God. I forgot that too. Your alumnus.

Anthony is a northwestern football player who also won a Fulbright where he went to the Ivory Coast to teach in English or to teach English and then he also taught English in Indonesia so I guess they went from one to the other and his favorite book

is the Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami and I was like this is an impressive guy he's got some good answers yeah I think he's gonna go far too but I think he might be too smart for this his his answer to what would your desert island be made out of? Yes. kind of weirded me out.

I don't think I understood what it was, to be honest. So we've been over this with Blake, who said that his desert island would be made of Chipotle. Yes. Which makes sense. Like, you're having fun and whatever. Like, oh, it'd be so funny if Chipotle was the island. Anthony says the flesh eating plants from life of pie. I don't really get that.

Because I mean he wants to be eaten? I don't know. Like, did he not understand the question? he's just being extremely he seems to be filled with dread. Yeah, it's definitely weird. If I end up on an island, I'm probably going to die.

Right. Because of these flesh eating plants. It's very, very weird. I don't understand that. That was almost as weird as the guy who, I don't remember who it was, who said he wanted the island he made out of a banana float.

Yeah, and then he said, get it? Get it? Yeah. And I was like, no. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Very strange. Yeah. Very strange indeed.

I liked Anthony a lot. Thank you for reminding me he went to Northwestern where he played football. And now I'm really rooting for him. I bet he goes far. I hope all the best for him. Yeah, he seems good.

He's 6'3. He's an education software manager. And he currently lives in Chicago, right? Because he wants Northwestern. Yeah. My potential winner is Grant. Grant. Let me tell you about Grant.

First of all, he's a doctor. So that's, like, impressive to me. another kind of like high caliber dude he's an emergency medicine position from New York City so if ER had been said in New York he could have been on it and I don't know

I just like the smart guys I don't know I'm such I'm like so predictable and it's like yeah cool he's got a degree Grant had some very middle of the road answers yeah but that's why I thought he could go far was because he kind of was like he had enough personality without being like a weird standout

and I feel like that's kind of what they want from their winners in these bios is to like have flash of personality but not attract too much attention. The only warning sign with him was, do you prefer team sports or solo sports? And he said, probably solo sports because then there's no one to blame for a loss but yourself. I'm like, okay. That's crazy.

That's real. That's real. And also, one thing that our boss, Bill Simmons has taught me is to beware of goalies. And I just feel like that's very similar. Yeah. Like, goalies who are like, you know, kind of like on their own or all the time. The lone wolves. Yeah, exactly.

I don't know about Grant. But he just, he just seemed like cool. I don't know. No, yeah. Not cool, but like normal enough. Yes. If you're on the show, you're by definition not cool. But like normal enough, but also some personality and also he's smart.

His worst answer was, what are your favorite magazines? And he said, Playboy, winking emoticon. Yeah. Not cool. That's rough. Come on, Grant. But. But he might be like, that might mean he's like a dork.

Yeah. You know, rather than a pervert. Totally. And then also this clearly won me over. What kind of music do you listen to most often? And he said, I can dance, anything I can dance to. Ice Ice Baby is also my favorite song. Because I used to sing it at Bar Mitzvahs on.

stage. That's when I was like, okay, Grant. Tell me more, Grant. Grant seems to be a nice candidate. Yeah. Grant seems fun. I'm in on Grant. So I don't know. He's, he's my potential winner. I sort of, well, obviously I gravitated towards Blake Kay. He's your guy. But there's an important distinction between First Impression and Winter. First impression is like who's going to shine on night one. And Winter is like, oh, this is a sneaky, like, good pick. is who you want to pick number one in your draft. Yeah.

Another thing, I kind of like Kyle. Hmm, Kyle. Okay. Kyle and Will. Okay. Two men who are wearing Henley's. We need to talk about Kyle. Okay.

Let's talk about it. Kyle. Let me just read you one of the questions. It's just so, so wild. Wild Kyle. Kyle, when asked, if you could have lunch with one person, who would it be and why? He had two answers. Donald Glover.

Fine. He's very popular right now. And he said, I respect him on so many levels as a musician, actor, general creative, activist, and a business fan. Cool. Very valid. There's a legion of Atlanta fans who agree with you who are just dying for that show to come back as soon as possible. His alternate, should Donald Glover be unavailable, was Ed Snowden. Yeah. He called him Ed. Not Edward. Not Edward. Ed. Ed Snowden. I don't know. Is this a man of an agent of Russia? Is he part of the collusion? He seems to know. Is he a whistleblower?

Does he want to be a whistleblower? I mean, a lot of questions about Kyle. Just really very, that was just confused. And then one of the questions was gluten, and he says, not really sure what it is or what food it lives in, but I select gluten-free menu options when I can. I was like, dude, why? You don't know what it is.

He's kind of pressured by society a little bit. Yeah. He seems impressionable. Ed Snowden is just really weird. I don't know what to make. of it, but like it just, it threw me and I was like, um, okay, you need to keep an eye on Kyle, wild Kyle. That was very, just a weird, weird pick. Why did you think he seemed cool? Um, or not cool, but a winner. I don't know why he keeps defaulting to cool. Well, he cited,

he cited Will Smith. That's true. Who I think is a good choice. I think it's better than the Rock or Channing Tatum. Agreed. Um, and the Donald Glover thing, I was on board with that. And he just seems like a, a bright guy. Yeah, he seems fine. He seems okay. He seems like the right amount of handsome. Yeah, he's good. None of these guys are like hot.

No, they really aren't. No, there's no like a hot guy. Yeah, there's no guy who you know he's awful because he's so attractive. So we're just to say Rachel likes hipsters. That's what I've heard. I don't know how that's going to play out. We'll see. And then your other pick was Will who in my notes, I wrote Snooze.

So please sell me on Will. Another fan of Will Smith. Yeah, that's true. Basically, I just picked the guys who loves Will. Smith and I was like they seem cool. I miss Will Smith. This guy's got a great smile. He does. Will has a nice smile. He looks very warm. Will's a strong name like Prince William.

That's a good one. Three favorite movies are like the most down the middle male favorite movies. Shawshank Redemption, Star Wars, Jurassic Park. That's why I was like, okay, this guy seems cool. Those are the Chipotle of movies. It's true. They really are. Shawshank Redemption is the ultimate Chipotle of movies. It's so true. His best answer, I completely agree with.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be in why and how would you use it? He would say, teleportation. I love the travel, but I hate the waiting. That is so true. I wish I could teleport. Everyone thinks that. Yeah, but I would mostly use it for having good meals. I'm in, I'm in L.A. right now, but I'd love to go to Austin to have some barbecue. Let's just snap my fingers and get there. That's next level.

That's what I think about it the most. I thought he was a snoo, so I don't think he'll be winning, but I understand why you select him. Do you think he's, where do you think he's going to go. I'm going to put him in top eight. Okay. That seems fair, but

yeah. I'm kind of behind this guy. I guess so. I know nothing about him. Because his answers don't really give away that much, but. I think another shoe in for Final Four is Rob, Robert, who goes by Rob. Yeah. He's a law student from Houston, so that's very similar to Rachel. And he also similarly had like a very vanilla bio,

or like bio. So just like, yeah, I just. I just see it. I don't know. If you could be any super... What do you think he was doing before he decided to go to law school? Because he's 30. Yeah.

So he's like a little bit older. He's not a lawyer yet. I don't know. I don't know. There's no indication here, which is like another reason why I think he could go far. It's because it's a lot to learn about him. True.

We don't know very much. Very true. Like he just seems into Superan. If you could be any superhero, which one would you be in Y? Superan. He's got the coolest superpowers and is also a U.S. alien like me. So I don't know what that means.

There's some kind of immigration backstory there. I guess. It doesn't look like it, but... Who knows? I just recently learned that Alexis Bledal's parents are both from South America or grew up there or something, and she considers herself a Latina. You would never have guessed that about Alexis Bledale. She says, why is the day as long? She seems to be from Greenwich, Connecticut.

Yeah, exactly. So, you know, this guy just seems like inoffensive, which I think is kind of the name of the game here. And now that I know he's got this immigration backstory, like, who knows? Yeah. That's a good thing to come up. his sort of in his like his home town. Yeah, he can peel back some layers. Yeah, in his hometown, he can come up.

Who else did we not talk about that we need to? I would like to talk about Alex. Okay. Because you asked me who most resembles Nick. And I think that's Alex. Okay, let's look at Alex here. Pulling this guy up, there's so many. Okay.

I had negative thoughts on Alex. Alex has the hair of Jordan Rogers. Yes, but he's trying to have the hair. Jordan Rogers, but is not getting there. He's just not accomplishing it. He looks as though he was born with a 5 o'clock shadow. Alex looks like D-Lis John Hamm. Yeah.

Yeah. John Ham on a really bad day. From my notes, Alex, colon, all caps, horrible, comma, humorless. He works in infosystem. He sucks. I can't stand now. What are your worst three attributes? Selfish, unemotional, unapologetic.

Like, seriously? That's just not fun. Yeah. He said he's logical and selfish. Yeah. Which is a bad combination. Really bad. I hate this guy.

He also says that he gave someone a car once, which is like a flex, but an annoying flex. Really annoying flex. I don't need to hear about you giving cars away. No one really looks like Nick. The one who's the most like, oh, is he a hipster? Is Kenneth, aka Diggy? Diggy. Diggy's got those glasses.

Diggy's glasses are flames. I love Diggy's glasses. Good look on that dude. But I don't know. I don't, he just didn't really stand out to me other than that. I was just like, okay, cool glasses. I would wear glasses in my picture too just to stand out. But other than that, I was just like, eh.

The most obvious producer plant is Lucas. Lucas is the quote unquote, wah boom. Woboom. He's wearing a gray v-neck shirt. One of his eyes is a little compressed or something. Yeah. And that was like a mean thing to point out about him. That's just his natural look.

I'm sorry, Lucas. He is just not acceptable. Here's his worst dancer. If you could have lunch with one person, who would have been in why? Dead, Bruce Jenner. Alive, Caitlin Jenner, would be a very interesting combo. ABC, how about don't print that? As a general rule, don't make Caitlin Jenner jokes.

Don't make Caitlin Jenner jokes. And also, like, that doesn't mean anything. Like, why? Yeah. This is the Bachelor at its worst. Like, this is something you don't need to print. They've obviously selected the answers. Yes.

And this obviously makes us. this guy looks stupid as hell, but it also makes the show look really dumb, too. I'm fully on board with you with this. Like, I hate when I do shit like this. I, like, fell out of my chair when I read this because I was ashamed. It's like on the same level of going to like the slave mansion last season and like just like letting that go. Yeah, like this is the kind of shit where it's like, you know what? Maybe I shouldn't do a podcast about this.

It makes me really mad. Like this guy's obviously leaving after like week two or three. I'm afraid we're going to get him in paradise because these ridiculous answers. but like it's just so uh it makes me very angry and then his his profession is waboom so i obviously googled it no one knows what that is because it's not real so on the facebook live oh chris harrison's really seemed to go to bat for wabum really he yeah he he really gave like a treatise on waboon what did he say he was like wabume can be anything it can be uh it can be a noun can be a verb you can be wabumed you can wabom you can wabom i still don't know what it

means. Me either. That's offensive. Apparently, it's a thing that the Bachelor is going to get behind. Okay. Well, we'll learn more, I guess, on Monday. Unfortunately. In addition to that horrible Caitlin Jenner answer, this is just like, that's offensive

and there's a bad look. This one is just a huge, huge red flag. It's like all the flares in the world have gone up over this one. What does your ideal meat look like? Bell, from Beating the Beast, Cinderella, the Little Mermaid, and the best, Jessica Rabbit. All cartoons. All cartoons. That's not okay.

Has he ever met a woman? Rachel might be the first one. That's very upsetting. I hate you, Lucas. I hate you. Yeah. Get GTFL Lucas. Yeah, Lucas.

He's out. He's so out. He's offensive. Oh my God. Seriously. I can't, I just can't get over it. He also said he would bring the view,

the cast of the view, to his desert island. So he's just like an ABC that suck up. Totally. Okay. And lastly, we've solved a mystery. Yep.

I wanted to end with revealing the guy who mentioned that he had sex with his with a woman in front of her ex. Yeah. And that's what it was, right? Yeah. And it was Kenny.

As Andrew said, I was like, No, you're wrong. I was so sure that it was Kenny. And it was Kenny. It was Kenny. So you wrote about these bios yesterday.

Yeah. I caught up with them a few hours later. And yesterday it had that question. It had that question and the answer where he admitted to cuck-holding a man. And then cuck-holding. him in front of his own eyes? Yeah. Is that how we'll phrase it here?

Yeah. And since then, it's been removed from the website. It has been scrubbed. That's wild. That is wild. That's like a legit scandal. Did Kenny complain? Who complained here?

Yeah, but Kenny answered the question. I know Kenny. Like, what else is we going to learn about Kenny on the show? See, this is why he's going to be great. This is wild. In spinoffs. I now have very even higher hopes for Kenny. And as you know, I was on board already.

It's going to be entertaining. I'm excited. This podcast is. I hope this comes. up. I hope it's like a moment of drama. A talking point. Yeah. Rachel's like, I can't believe you did that. What a weird phase of The Bachelor we're in right now.

This weird self-awareness where they have to be scrubbing websites. How fascinating. This has got me fired up for Tuesday or for Monday. I can't believe it's here already, but I'm so glad it is. Me too. Summer's about to start. Yeah. Because the Bachelor is back every Tuesday. I'll be back every Tuesday. We'll have Andrew back on again. Did you have a good time?

I had a great time. Okay, good. Bachelor at Party on Tuesday afternoons. whole host of cool guests, hopefully. And yeah, it's back, baby. Let's do it. We're going Bachelorette into Paradise and then Winter Games on the horizon. Can't wait. Thanks for listening.

I'm Julia Lutman. Check out all the other podcasts from The Ringer and head of the ringer. Thank you to Andrew. And enjoy The Bachelorette on Monday night.