The Press Box - Chris Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Chris (Hemsworth) | Tea Time

Episode Date: April 13, 2019

Kim Kardashian is becoming a lawyer and other things we learned from her Vogue profile (4:30). The Jonas Brothers are riding hard for a random college bar at Penn State University (8:55). There has been a disturbance in the Hollywood Chris Rankings (24:05), and a cautionary warning before you watch Netlifx's 'Our Planet' (30:25). Hosts: Liz Kelly, Kate Halliwell, and Amelia Wedemeyer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Tea Time. This is a weekly pop culture podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network. I'm Kelly. I'm Kate Howlow. And I'm Amelia Weddemeier. And today we're going to give an overview of all the April pop culture content. There's so much. There really is. We're going to preview Coachella. And there's also been a disturbance in the forest. And we're not talking about Star Wars. We're talking about the Chris Rankings. Nice one. So much more important. Every time you hear the bell, we have to change topic no matter what. And now let's spill the tea. Okay. First, category is T-Time Checks-In with. This is T-Time Checks-in with April content. We're recording this on a Friday, April 12th, or about halfway through this insane month. Kate, start us off.

Well, we just, there was just a new Star Wars trailer dropped, which is like, that's the one thing we didn't have this month was fucking Star Wars. Like, now we have that too. Game of Thrones comes back this weekend, which is obviously big at the ringer.com. Honestly, there's like nothing more that can be said about it than like every other ringer. else's content on The Ringer. The Avengers movie comes back on the 26th. We're in the midst of the press tour right now. And what a press tour it is.

What a press tour it is. We talked about it on Instagram this week, but it's just they're taking themselves so seriously. And also, like, we've talked about the fake romances and, like, the performative friendships before on this podcast. That's like peak, we're at peak Avengers friendships right now. Brie Larson is fitting into that in a very special way that we personally are keeping. It really is. Amelia, how are you doing? I mean, no, I'm fine.

See, here's the thing. I like her. I went to a screening of room once because she was going to be there because I was like such a fan. Yeah. And I just wish she would be more authentic. Not like trying to be this like super PR, woke. Hey, I'm trying to fulfill all these categories kind of person. To her credit, she's part of such a huge machine.

I feel like she feels like she has no choice. I like Dr. Larson pre-Marvel. Yes. But I mean, how can she help it? The machine she's working for is greater than her. It's true. It's true. And they think that they've perfected it. Like part of this, my theory is that they've taken the lady suit and weaponized it.

So you know how like the internet and myself personally like during like the Oceans 8 press tour and stuff like that? We get like really in like certain suits. Yes. We love the lady suit. And now it's like they know. Oh my God. And they're like purposefully putting them in suits just so that the internet will talk about it. Just so that the internet would be like,

B'Lars and Punch Me in the face. Yeah, just so they can get like five articles from Pop Sugar. Right. Aren't you tweeting that? Like, B'Lars and Punch Me in the face? I'm part of the game. And I helped create this problem, and now I'm acknowledging it. You created the monster.

We have to go back. Yeah. It's the problem. Also, what photo was that? Were they and Jimmy Kimmel, all of them together? It was. It was. It was.

It was. It was. They're all in different pages in terms of... They're just completely different events. Yeah. Yeah. And part of that also is like the ladies suits do fit. in really well with the different colored suits that all the guys

have on. So I get that and it's like Karen Gillen and like Relarck and Scarjo and Dene Guerrera and like I get that they're trying to do like colors and like match but not match but like it's just I don't know. It's so contrived. It's just so purposeful and it bothers me. Also one last bit of content for this

extremely packed weekend. BDS has a new album today. It's a huge day for me personally. I'm not expecting to engage you in a dialogue about it. I just have a podcast and I couldn't not talk about it. My big thing is that Halsey flew to Korea to film this music video with them. Wow.

And it has literally like two words in the music video. Like I kept waiting for Halsey. She's there at the beginning and I was like, where is Halsey? Like when is her verse coming? And literally she's like, oh my, my, my, like, twice. I love it. I'm like, could you not do the Nicki? And like, I appreciate it.

I too would fly to Korea to do two words in a video. But like, Nikki Minaj is like the queen of like doing a green screen and then like being put into a music video and being like she clearly has never met this person. I don't know that. Like, how easy, that would have been so easy for Halsey to do. But Halsy, again, people are obsessed with, like, their image on the internet and, like, their presence in people's minds, like, in the stands. And, like, of course she's going to fly all the way there.

And I respect it. I just was surprised. Yeah. Okay. Speaking of things that not everyone wants to engage in a dialogue about, Kim Kardashian is on Vogue's May cover. It's a rich text. They also did an accompanying video where we're going to talk about the 73 questions, which, like, I personally, I, like, hate those videos.

the burning passion. My secondhand embarrassment can't get over them. They're so cheesy. They're so crinzy. Anyway, so in her make cover, we're going to start with that. I learned a couple of things. Like, a high level. Her house, I just need to say, is absolutely absurd.

So she has a staff kitchen, I suppose, and then a show kitchen, which is, like, where the show is taped and where, like, the family resides. But they have an entirely different kitchen for people to actually cook their meals, which is insane. And then she has a breakfast nook that seats twice. 20 people. That's not a no. And those are throwaway comments in this article.

Like those are just kind of like setting the scene. This isn't even what she said. The biggest takeaway, obviously, is that she wants to become a lawyer. Not only wants to is like actively planning to. So for context of this, she previously played a role in the release last summer of Alice Marie Johnson, who was a 63-year-old woman who'd been in an Alabama prison on a non-violent drug charge since like the mid-90s since 1996. So she worked at the Trump administration and granted Johnson Clemency.

So she has a history of being interested in criminal reform, which I appreciate and respect. People think, like, people were shocked and talking about this because the actual idea of Kim Kardashian getting her law degree is a hard pill to swallow. Or just even like passing the bar. Passing the bar is what I can't get passed. I have friends who are in law school and who are like just recently like, oh my God, studying so hard and so stressed out about passing the bar. And, like, barely passing the bar. My parents are both lawyers. I can't picture Kim Kardashian as a lawyer.

The idea that, and, like, again, like, she can't pay someone to do it for her anymore. Like, that ship has failed. So, like, she's going to have to do it herself. Plus, the thing that I was confused about that I looked into is that she never graduated from college. And there are only four states in the United States that allow someone to not finish college but still get their law degree. California happens to be one of them, which is very lucky for her. But she's basically, she has to apprentice with a practicing lawyer or judge. She's part of this like this like huge program

Like obviously privately being tutored in all of this stuff She's been taking the test She's been studying criminal law tort contracts And she thinks criminal law is the easiest one She like says she got 100 on all of her tests Okay I will say this though Her dad Robert Kardashian was a lawyer

Yeah But he did jack shit for the OJ case He was just I'm sorry It doesn't she talk about the OJays in this? Yeah, isn't he said she's basically tampered with evidence. She was like, ha-ha, go into the room and, like, their evidence room and just, like, you know, play around.

I'm like, Kim! What are you doing? Changing history here. Anyway, read it. But that was obviously the standout one. And then briefly, she did the 73 questions video for both. Okay, those videos are always like, not that I've, like, seen so many porn videos, but no, no, no. They're like, just listen to me for two seconds.

It's like, you know, those like casting couch things where they're like, hey, it's like a point of view. Uh-huh. It just seems like that those, that's what it reminds me of. Okay, you know, just forget it. Incredible take. There's a couple things that stood out. You watch this too, Amelia, right? Okay, it was pretty painful the entire time.

I could only get like halfway through, so. Okay, so they go, how would you describe your home? And she goes, a minimal monastery, which is like so scary. Oh, my God. Like, it's horrible. Then Connie's in the video for a majority of it and all their kids are running around. No, it's like literally Kim and her four children, which include Kanye. Yeah.

And then the guy asked, he's like, Kanye, what's the best part of being a dad? And he literally, deadpan goes, the kids. It's like, that's not an answer to that question. That's just the definition of being a dad. Exactly. It's just such a mess. There's so much awkward laughter between the two of them. And I love when she name dropped Anna Wintor when she was like,

Anna. The thing I appreciated was her house does seem like chaos. Like the children are actual children. And they let them be in this video. It's not like they're all sitting there. No, no, no. Yeah. They were like hanging on her hair basically.

Like they coughed in her face. It was just like, wow, okay, this is real. Read the article and watch the video. Or don't. Or don't. Okay. This next one is Tea Time Investigates. Okay.

So it's such a confusing situation for us. Right. We really did investigate that. Yeah, we did because I was very confused about this situation. Okay, so the Who is basically the Jonas Brothers, Joe, Nick, and occasionally Kevin, and then their wives slash fiancé's Priyanka Tropra and Sophie Turner. That's the Who. And Danielle Jonas. Occasionally.

Iconic Danielle. Listen. The what is that this group of people is like incessantly promoting this random local Penn State bar called champs for seemingly no reason on their social media, like on every social media platform that they have. It's weird. Really heavily promoting. Yeah. So it's part of this competition. Right?

Yes. And so they're like using all these hashtags, like literally on Permanca Choperra's Twitter, she's like, champs bar, like vote for the best bar. I'm like, yeah, Priyanka Chopra. The competition is. You don't have to do this. Yes. Yeah, trust me. I know.

The competition is technically from the sports company that shall not be named, aka Barstool. And they do like a hashtag barstool best bar, which again, the other issue is like, don't be associated with barstool sports, you guys. You guys are so much better than that. You guys are so much, like Sophie Turner, you're cooler than that. I really have stooped to a level that I did not realize that they could. I know. Wait. How old is Priyanka Chobra?

Pianca Chobra is 36. Wow, I love that you had that. She's hanging out at college bars. I did some reason. I investigated this topic. Yeah, this is confusing. Which, I mean, which isn't to say you can't be older and hang out at college bars, but, you know. But, like, I would be embarrassed about it.

Yeah. And also, she's a movie star. She's literally the international movie star. Like, she's huge. Inbarraud. Yeah. Like, you don't have to do this. Sorry.

I know Liz has a lot of research that we can get through here. I have two parts of research. One research will be Kyah McMillan, our producer, hopping in, because she has insider knowledge from her friend. We're going to start there, Kyya. So shout out to my friend Courtney Sebring. She goes to Penn State's, and she was Snapchatting me about this last week, and I was like, oh, that's weird. And then it, like, clicked in my brain. I was like, oh, wait a second.

So I texted her, and I'm like, why were the Jonas Brothers at Penn State? And she gave me some great intel. She said that, first of all, they're from Jersey, and I guess a lot of people from Jersey go to Penn State, and so they have a lot of friends at Penn State. And apparently, Joe Jonas spent his 21st birthday at this bar. I don't know why. You're Joe Jonas. It's a college mark. So I guess he has, like, a special connection to it.

And she's 29 now, so that's a long history of being at this bar. Yeah, it's like, I'm thinking about the bar. I spent my 21st birthday at, and I have really known. Yesterday, kind of. Okay, any other intel? And so basically they were saying if the bar won this round in the bar stool sports bracket,

whatever, that they would go to the bar and a lot of people thought it was a rumor and they weren't sure. But then they ended up actually showing up the bar. They played an hour-long set and then bought out the bar and it was an open bar for everyone. Wow.

Such a flex, wow. Yeah, and it was, it was Them it was Sophie and Priyanka. Yeah. And people were chaining like, Lady Star. Yeah, Sophie had all these, literally pouring body shots for college students.

Sophie's or her we maybe need to talk about as like, 23 and like Loki. Turning up. I know. That's a different kind of investigation because there is some stuff there. I'm concerned about Sophie to her a little bit. Her jewel is literally glued to her hand in the picture she's ever taken. The other thing is that the Jonas brothers are technically long-time friends

to former PSU football players. Chris and Jason Gantor. So for some reason, which Kaya helped explain, is like they have this long history with this random-ass Penn State Bar called Champs. Yes. They are investing their precious, like, social media inventory on promoting it. And monetary funds. Yeah. And I guess the, like, the football coach also entered their set, like the PSU football coach.

And it's just like a such a weird thing. Like, I really just can't deal with Priyanka Toper tweeting about this fucking Penn State Bar. I know. Like, you're literally a huge Bollywood star. And like, do better. And also like, it's kind of, and I don't mean to bring this up, but it's weird that they were so involved with the football team when the football team just went through a huge scandal.

Oh, right. Very not good. And it's just like, this is weird. This feels weird. Yeah. It's just a lot of effort for something that doesn't feel worth it. Right. One last thing I was thinking about because I was like, why are these group of people

associated with barstural sports? I was like, who would be in this group, the person that like is the most like the ringer? And I was thinking it's got to be. Kevin. He seems to have like varied interests. He seems to probably read a lot. Probably the most well-rounded. I feel like of all of them

Kevin Jonas would be a fan of the ringer. You know what? I like that. I like that on him. I'm pro Kevin. I know he shit on him, but like he's a good guy. Yeah. I saw him once walking through the Disney Channel. There you go. There you go. That's the connection. Pretty cool.

Okay. Next category is this is Tea Time previews Coachella. Weekend 1 is coming up this weekend. Weekend 2 is the following over Eastern Passer. over. This is just like our, we're hitting on like what we think is going to happen. What maybe who's going out on stage this weekend? Like what's going on? Yeah. None of us are going to Coachella. None of us. Have you been to Coachella? Have you been to Coachella? Have you been to Coachella? I have not, no. I am, I would never ever want to go to Coachella. It's not your scene. Don't go. So not my scene. But it's always fun to kind of like look at the

horrible celebrity outfits and like the performance of this stuff. So one of the big highlights this, I guess this weekend, too, is that Kanye's doing his Sunday service. We kind of talked about a lot on this podcast, but he's doing it on Easter. What I just found out from Matt James, who's going, Ringer Illustrator, is that he's not actually doing that on a stage. So it's, like, not going to be part of the live stream. He's doing it, like, in a field. Wow. Wait.

But is the public going to be, like, surrounding them? I guess. I don't know how they're, I'm sure there's, like, security in there. There's, like, going to be a stampy. People are, like, some sort of regulation. but I'm told that he, I tried to find it online and there were very few details about how this is going to work. And even Kanye doesn't know, like, there was an interview with him

from like last week where he was like, yeah, I don't really know how it's going to work, but like we're going to do it. And so yeah, I mean, I guess keep an eye out for that to be like a huge cluster fact. Wait, do you think that this would bring more Kardashian-Gener people to Coachella because he's performing? Gotta be right. Absolutely. But I feel like Kylie and Kendall go every year.

Kendall's definitely on her way already and she'll probably fly back for the Sunday service. But yeah, I bet, I don't know, Kim. maybe. It feels like it's a family. She's good. It's Easter. And then he only does celebrate everything together. And they'll have like the kids with the big earphone headphones on. Yeah. I see North. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be a whole experience. Other celebrities that we can look forward to. Well, Justin Bieber. Speaking of Kendall. You know, he's supposed to, apparently supposed to be in like rehab or something, but no. He's like, who cares? I'm going to buck the system. And he just posted a photo that is him and Kendall Jenner from a few years ago. They both look kind of rough. They're like, they've been partied out. He looks like he's about to cry.

And she looks like, like, she has just like this weird expression on her face. Yeah. And it's, uh, the caption is, Coachella better be this good this year at Kendall Jenner. So apparently they're both planning on going. Yeah. So yeah, look forward to seeing both of them. And maybe some weeping with Haley Baldwin. Or maybe.

With the Bible. This is at the Sunday service. Oh, damn. Shit. Actually, this will bring a lot more selection. celebrities to maybe weekend too, or they'll just fly back exactly for this. Because Sunday service, everybody wants a piece of it. As much as people shit on Carnie West.

Right. Everybody would be turned out. This is Haley Baldwin slash Bieber scene because you got the jean cutoff shorts and like long legs. She'll be there. Or short. Maybe cultural appropriation. Maybe it'll say, yeah.

Listen, cultural appropriation and Coachella go hand in hand. It really do. It's an ongoing journey. Queen of Coachella Vanessa Hudgens will definitely be there with us about us. This is her scene. Yeah. Yeah, Aaron Paul always goes. You're excited about that.

Aaron Paul, like one time I saw a photo of him calling out, because I think he met his wife at Coachella. Probably. Wow. Got together at Coachella and started hanging out and he called her Pretty Bird. He does that. Photo and I was like, I never want to go to Coachella. They're also part of like the Julian Huff, like Nina Dobrell.

Oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah. Click where like they all perfect highlights and like are like kind of a mess, but like all best friends. Also other people, Kate Bonds, always goes. And, like, I don't know what Kate Balswood's doing lately, but, like, apparently she's just always at Coachella. Jared Leto and Paris Hilton are also, like, the type to just, like, plan different outfits

for every hour. I guess she did she do. Did she want to do it? Any age? No. Oh, okay. Well, maybe she's, like, in a tent somewhere or something, like, party. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then just last year where I was looking at celebrities who were there last year, and there was a party where Timothy Shalameh was with Shania Twayne, Migos, and Nikki Minaj. Wow. He finds himself. He really. I think it's because everyone wants to hang out with Timothy Chalemay in so... Wait.

Is that just me? No. He just warms his way into like these parties. Maybe he'll be at the Sunday service. Yes, for sure. Timothy Shalame? Wait, do you think Pete... He's in the middle of the Jordan Desert shooting Dune actually right now.

So he will not be there. He might take a private job. Do you think Pete Davidson will attend knowing that Ariana Grande is the headline on Sunday night? I would bet that actually he would be there. For the Sunday service or just like for Chicellas? No, in general, but definitely. the Sunday service. You think?

Yes, with Kate. Back in sale. You think? Honestly, I believe anything at this point with those shows. That's true. They're popping up everywhere. Also, real quick, some extremely Coachella-E activations. I hate that.

Cupcake wine is offering frose drinks topped with personalized selfies. I never understand how that works, how, like, you can get selfies printed on top of a drink. Like, they do that with lattes, and I'm like, technology has gone farther than I ever understood. Yeah. Nick's is hosting an quote immersive glitter trip experience This is exhausting, art. So take from that way you will.

And finally, Levi's has a sponsored festival, like amusement park, and the highlight is the Pokemon Detective Pikachu themed Ferris wheel. I better not be hearing freaking Ryan Reynolds's voice coming out of like he might be there.

Ryan Reynolds might be there. God bless all those attendees. Okay, next category. This is T-Times' biggest relationship news ever. Okay, we, the T-Time people pow out about this because we don't just like it, we like, we feel bad about saying this person broke up, this person broke up, whatever. So we're going to do some good news and some bad news. We'll start with the bad because we get it out of the way, then we end in a high note. The bad. Go ahead, Amelia. Oh, okay, so Ben Affleck and Lindsay shook us broke up. Again, it's too bad. They pour together. We broke it out multiple times now. I think the general sort of tone from the statements

was like they gave it another try and it's just not going to work. Well, because she has an entire family in life in New York. He's the king of breadwood. You can't take. The queen of Redwood. You just can't. That's true. That's definitely true. The poor people. I think they just I think he needs to just spend some me time. Yeah. Agreed. Time with the kids. Time with the kids. Hunter Harris tweeted and was like,

congrats to Lindsay shook us who can now get her coffee wherever she wants. Yes, she's free. She's free. She can go to any hipster coffee shop she wants. She is free. Very freeing. The other bad news is. is El Fanning is for some reason still together with Max Mangela from the Handmaid's Tale. That's how I know him. I know he's like been around a lot.

They are still together. They started dating last year when he directed her in teen spirit, which is coming out. It is. They're on a press tour right now. She just celebrated her 21st birthday. He, for the record, is 33. You guys know, I'm a fan of like, you know, same page gaps. But there's something about this couple that makes you feel really weird.

She looks so young, I think. And I think I've seen him in Handmaid's Tale, like, with Elizabeth Moss. They look more normal and then those two next to each other. Sure. Just something makes me feel kind of weird. You know, I was very mixed on this

because I like him as an actor. I do too. I really do. But you're right. She just looks really young. Really young. And the fact that he was like directing her and he was kind of in this like a sorority position. Yeah.

It does make me a little bit uncomfortable. And this is like really, she hasn't had that many. She's not starring in every single movie. Right. She's pretty. Yeah. We'll keep an eye on that. Okay.

One more piece of bad news before he turned to the good. Actually, I think, honestly, I think this is good news. Wendy Williams is getting a divorce. She's been put through a lot. She has. Well, however long she's been with this man who allegedly cheated on her with this other woman, got her pregnant. And that's why Wendy went in kind of a tailspin. Yeah.

Be free, Wendy. You're free. You're right. You're right. We're transitioning already to the good. Okay. The good is that Amber Rose is pregnant. She's 13 weeks with Alexander Edwards' baby, who's a dad.

F. Jamms record executive. So this is great. She's adding a brother. She already has a six-year-old son with Wiz Khalifa named Sebastian. He is the cutest kid in the entire world. He's very cute. I'm happy for her. She's really great. I really like her. Yeah, good for her. Okay. Next up, I was personally very excited about this. So while the Game of Thrones premiere was happening this weekend, Richard Badden was not there, which I'm like, if you get killed off Game of Thrones, like they had a bunch of dead characters who showed up at this premiere. I was like, where is Richard Madden? He just wanted a golden globe for bodyguard. Like, where is he?

And, you know, not to drag someone else into this, but Kit Harrington allegedly has had some personal issues, some pictures that were maybe taken of him, not his wife recently. So everyone was like, oh, John Snow, blah, whereas Richard Madden, the OG king in the north is out here going joint shopping with Brandon Flynn, Sam Smith's ex-boyfriend. He bought him. They have matching necklaces. Literally, that's incredible. The same bisexual icon, Richard Madden. Yes. The same necklace that he bought for his ex-girlfriend.

He now has bought for Sam Smith's ex-boyfriend. Damn. Who was on 13 reasons why. The energy in this room has just been like raised tenfold. I was truly thrilled by this. I was like, okay, so all your former castmates are just out, like, trotting out this show, ball, blah. Richard Madden is just out here. Could not care less.

Living his best life. Yeah. And it's just great. We love it. We love it. I'm all in. Amelia. Other stuff?

Yes. Okay. So I love Kiernan and Chip. I just think she's a great actress. She's super adorable. Like, I follow her on Instagram. She's really fun. Yeah.

Great eyebrows. Great eyebrows. Great outlook on life. Totally. So she went official with Gary Oldman's son, Charlie, on his Instagram, I guess. So good for them. Great. I just wish her the best because she's...

We wish all young couples the best on Tea Time. Totally. As a rule. And then Jamie Fox and Katie Holmes are... They're back together. I guess, which is... Yeah, they stepped up again. Right. So we touch...

The next couple you're about to say is Emma Roberts and Garrett Hedlin. We talked about both of these couples last week. But people, they're still going on one week later. They're still thriving. Be happy. And you needed to know. Exactly. Okay. This we're bringing out of the woodwork. This is like Kate Hallowell special.

This is Tea Times Chris Watch. What are the updates, Kate? Okay, well, obviously the Avengers Press tour is happening. It's kind of like this is the end of the real Chris Wars. Evans and Hemsworth and then Pratt have all been in the end of the Chris Wars? Yeah, I mean, kind of, because we've had, like, the thing was that they were all like superheroes, they're all in superhero movies.

We're about to be done with Captain America. Yeah. It's kind of like this phase of the Avengers is over. So this phase of the Chris Wars is over. Yes, this is the final showdown. I personally think for, like, the real Chris Wars. Wow. So, and really, like, some positions are potentially changing.

You know, I ride hard for Chris Evans. And he announced this week He's very outspoken politically, very outspoken on Twitter But also like kind of just like a tries to be very optimistic I think and he has this very optimistic plan To start a political website Called a starting point That basically presents both sides of a political issue

For Democrats or Republicans And it's basically like very specific supposed to be like very moderate and forming both sides and every debate has two sides. And it just, you know, I respect the big swing. Yeah. There's a lot of room for error here. A big swing is exactly what we're going to call it. It's a big swing.

And, you know, he's very, you know, again, he tends not to shy away from these issues. So like he's very anti-Trump, very outspoken. But, you know, it just there, it's just dangerous territory for him. And I'm a little concerned. And anytime you have a website devoted to politics and trying to be moderate, it's just going to be a crazy. And is Chris Evans the man to bring us all together? I mean, maybe. Maybe he's Captain America.

He is. And there's just already been backlash. A lot of backlash about him meeting with controversial politicians and like taking pictures with them. And it's just like, Chris, you were doing so well. And you were so close to. He's fighting some kind of fight. You know, he's fighting a fight for sure. He's really trying.

hard. And, you know, I'll keep an eye on that. Also, real quick, Chris Hemsworth, who is primed for the number one Chris Spott at this point. He really is. He really is. I've really been holding out on Evans. Hemsworth has been on his tail for years. Oh my God. It's a steady. He's finally here. It's a steady fight. But this was a tough look for him. Someone tweeted that they were on an airplane and they said, Chris Hemsworth was on my flight. And as we were disembarking, one steward stealthily asked another what he was famous for. His brother is married to Miley Cyrus. came the horrifying answer. As he should be identified.

I assume Liz Kelly was also on that flight and that's who they asked. I am that sturdish. Yeah. Some other Chris Hemsworth's stuff. He announced he would love to play James Bond. Another big swing. That's not happening.

These are my least favorite news stories where one celebrity is like, I love James Bond. I would love to play James Bond. And it's like Millie Bobby Brown. They're like, Millie Bobby Brown would love to play James Bond. I'm like, you guys. Like, come on. This isn't new.

Chris Housworth is an Austrian. million man. It's just like, I feel like people are going to riot if it's not a person of color or a woman. Yeah, it's just like this isn't news. Yeah. Of course, I would love to play James Bond. Like, we don't need to write a story about that. Also, he has so many lanes already.

Like, he doesn't also need to be James Bond. Also, he should really, he's good at like the comedy action movies. And I feel like, just stay in that lane. Okay? You're doing really, right, right. And then he also told the story while I'm the press story. while on the press store about he was riding the Tower of Terror

which is now Guardians of the Galaxy Breakout and it's you know it's that ride that goes up and down really fast and his daughter wasn't tall enough to ride on it so he decided to put snickers in her shoes so she would be tall enough and yeah

essentially like risk her life because she was like because it goes so fast you know and she was like lifted into the seatbelt like adults like I remember riding it and like you're kind of lifted out of the seat when you're going down like super fast. I have a logistics question. Snickers when you, if you several, I mean, I never have squished.

But they're going to squish. So that gives you zero point zero inches. It's so weird. Also, you have random snickers in your pockets or something? Also, that was your suggestion? Get a harder candy. Even a butterfinger would have been better. Also, your Chris Hemsworth, just smile at them.

Seriously, though. Seriously. Right. What the hell? Okay, so those are too weird. Those are like extremely weird. And then also, we're still talking about Chris Hemsworth. This is, he accidentally, granted, it wasn't exactly his fault.

This was like Australian Photoshop's fault. More than 200 photos of Miley and Liam's secret wedding were accidentally given to a Swedish tourist in this like photo mix-up. She picked up the wrong pictures. So her solution, which I applaud, is she Instagram store it and was like, hey, at Chris Hemsworth, I've got your photos from the wedding if you want them. And then did like a series of selfies that was like, I opened up this photos. and it wasn't mine like, like, OMFG. It was like fucking Liam and Miley's wedding.

She is an absolutely great human. She did not sell these. She didn't like ask for money, from him at all. And then he saw this, the exchange. Like it was like a perfect ending. It really was. He also dodged a bullet.

I mean, that girl could have sold out to Daily Mail. Oh, totally. For like a good amount of money. Yeah. So life is on Chris Hemsworth's side. Really? Yeah. It really is.

Good for him. Also, again, really quickly. Other people are like, oh, Chris Pine is the best Chris. Nobody watched his Netflix show or his TNT show. Something about like I Am the Night or whatever. It's The Night. It was based on like the Black Dahlia murder from the 40s, I think. So if this war is over, where are we weighing? Chris Hemsworth is the number one, Chris?

I think Hemsworth maybe is number one right now. All signs lead to Chris Hemsworth. Wow. This is so interesting. It's Hemsworth, Evans. Chris O'Dad. Pine. And then Pratt. Yes.

We'll say Hemsworth Evans, Pine, Messina, O'Dowd, Pratt. Fine, yes. Literally, time being for the time being. Okay, next category. This is not worth the tea. Quite a variety this week. I know. This week something haunting happened to me,

and I watched Netflix's new show called Our Planet with David Attenborough. It was a huge, huge, huge nerd for the Planet Earth series. Like my family and I watched that. Frozen Planet is my shit, so I get it. This one, this is not the first time someone's made a nature documentary and shown some like gory, horrific stuff happening in nature. This felt especially atrocious. So this episode that I watched, it's a series, it's like a multi-whatever episode series. The second series kind of focuses on climate change and it's like about our frozen world.

Okay. So the episode and the scene in question that's causing a big uproar is they showed in slow motion a bunch of Russian. wallruses. Oh, no. Basically, careening to their death off of, like, an extremely steep clip.

Again, slow motion. What? And they, like, hit every rock on the way down. Their bodies are freaking, but, like, like, being destroyed in a way that, you know,

their bodies are very malleable. They're not all, they're like full blubber. Yeah. Right. And it showed multiple of them falling to their deaths off of this cliff.

So everyone, and there's a couple other scenes in this series where people are like, this is way too much. You have got to issue like some kind of warning. So then they now tweeted on Netflix's Twitter being like, here are the following scenes to skip.

If you're sensitive, if you like are easily offended and upset and stuff like that. And it's, they're pretty normal. It's like killer whale eats a penguin. A jaguar eats an alligator. All that stuff is fine with. This scene, and I watched it again last night with my brother who's like maybe a sadist and was like, it's very, very upsetting to watch. Anyway, that is absolutely not with the sea.

And then Netflix is standing by it being like, this is. nature and climate changes real, which I completely understand. It's just a bit much. Right. Okay. That's my spiel. Yeah. Just warn us.

That's my spiel. Okay. Anyway, Kate. Also a bit much. Justin Bieber. Nice. Transition. Nice.

Actually, this is about falling off an abyss. No, Kate. Justin Bieber wrote a poem on social media for Haley Baldwin. I'm just going to just read the first couple lines. And this isn't an Instagram caption. So, you know, take that as you will. Sunlight fall. into the abyss, just like I fall into your lips.

Okay. Waves crash onto the shore. My love for you grows more and more. Sound of the crickets. A true meditation. I think about you. God's greatest creation. Okay. It goes on for like a lot more. This is so jarring to talk about after more reason. It really is the rhyming. Just can we just seem to stop doing romantic poems and social media captions. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Just I, also, Justin, I know I've said this like a thousand times, but aren't you supposed to be taking better care of yourself? Just like stop being on Instagram. Yeah.

Social media like break could be good for him. I think that would be very good for him. Yeah. And good for us. Okay. Also not worth the tea. We're going to pivot. This category is so messed up.

Jude Law is shooting the new pope on a beach somewhere in his tidy whiteies. Oh my God. There were a lot of pictures that were taken of him strutting. And I don't know if you guys, you probably. I haven't seen the young Pope. It's like very surreal. And so this kind of fits into it actually. But he, there were pictures of him

and he's like shredding in between all these women who are like setting volleyball back and forth on a beach. He literally is just in tidy white. He's got like his abs out, which like I have a theory that there's some real shading going on here. There is. If you look at the picture of Maria Carey airbrushing the abs on.

Some ab contouring. He looks, I mean, he, you know, he's in good shape for a 46-year-old guy. He's got his like gray, Pope Whig. These pictures freaked me out for some reason.

I have an extremely mixed reaction to them. I don't want to say they're NSFW but they are like they are a little uncomfortable.

Like I wouldn't want to like be openly like looking at it and people walk behind me It was hard to look at these in the office. I'm on my work Wi-Fi you know

I don't think about these things. Right. And it's like basically see through it's a little it's a lot It's a lot. Yeah he literally isn't

just like white tidy whiteies it's bad. So yeah that was an experience that happened this week. And finishing up this curse category is something just as bad.

It's worse. Worse in the law respect. I don't know. Okay, yeah. This is Kristen Cavaleri in her show, Barry Cavalry, in the promo coming up for her new episode. She's talking to her girlfriends and she and this couple is kind of known for saying a lot of crazy shit about their relationship. We talked about a couple weeks ago that she accompanied him on like one of their first dates

to a colonoscopy. So we know these people are kind of kind of bizarre, and we'll say that out loud and on the record. So she was talking about how, what, she's, you know, she had a child. She breastfeed, which is completely normal. She told this group of people that she had major clogged ducks, and then she could have stopped there. I mean, they could have had a full discussion about her clogged ducks.

She goes, Jay had to get them out for me, sucking harder than he's ever sucked. And I'm sorry that I had to say that. Oh, my God. Just bad. Just really bad. Twitter has like a theory that like she kind of like said it that way just so it would go viral because like J. Keller sucked really hard on whatever team he was on. And so we were like,

he's never sucked harder than when he was on whatever sports team. I don't know. I don't know what sport he plays. That is actually not worth the team. Absolutely not. Oh, God. It's dry eating over here. This episode is all over the place, but we're finishing it up with tea time.

So it's unanswerable question of the week, Amelia. Okay. So the movie Shazam came out. I have not seen it, but it's getting rave reviews. And the star of Shazam is Zachary Levi, who was in Chuck. And he was also, he voiced Flynn Ryder in Tangled. And if you've ever seen a picture of him, he's a very handsome man. The only thing, I just like, it's so weird.

Every time I look at a picture of him, I'm like, those eyebrows are so perfectly, like, tweez to perfection. They're clearly not his original eyebrows. You know? It's just a little strange. I just pulled up a picture from the Shazam. Taya, here you go if you want to see from across the room. These eyebrows look to be threaded. Because waxing is too extreme.

His eyebrows on the bottom are so kind of unkempt in a man. Like, you know, just like a classic rugged dude look. Yeah. But there's so little hair in between his two eyebrows that's threading for sure. Okay. So, yeah, that's what I wanted to know. If it was tweezing, threading, or waxing. I have a theory that it used to be tweezing.

Because if you look at older pictures of him, I feel like they, even the tweezing, like, he overtweased. Yeah. I truly believe that. And they're far, they're farther apart than they need to be. Yes. As someone who used to over tweeze my eyebrows, I know. There you go. It's very easy to move that to, like, keep getting the little hairs closer to, like, your unibrow.

Right. And then just keep moving them back. Yeah. And it looks like. It looks like, it's also like they're just. definitely like trimmed. Trimmed. Oh yeah.

Totally trimmed. You can see the top hair. We're all staring at this point. That's a pro technique, by the way. I did not know about that in high school when I was over tweezing my eyebrows. And it's a journey. It's a learning experience. And I think Zachary Levi is learning what fits his face.

Yeah, absolutely. Also, if you have answers to you any of these unanswerable questions, please tweet T-time. What's the handle, Amelia? It's at T-time underscore 33. Yeah, please tweet us. We want to hear from you. Okay. Next unanswerable question.

Sorry, I'm going to sneeze. Wait. I'm going to sneeze. Wait. Okay, I'm sorry. Pass. Damn. Are you sure?

Yeah, I think I'm good. Okay, sorry. Okay, next unanswerable question. Kate, take it away. My unanswerable question, not to do two Harry Styles questions in a row for the last few podcasts, but that's what it's going to be. Is Harry Styles aware that there is an actual movie coming out this week

based on a fan fiction book written about him. I certainly hope that he is not aware. So like I said, there's a movie called After coming out this week, starring, first of all, Josephine Langford, and someone named Hero Fines Tiffin, who's the nephew of Ray Fines. Yep. But his name is literally Hero Fines Tiffin. Just, you know, he plays the Harry Styles character. I love when you get on your Harry Styles soapbox. I love it so much.

He also, the, he also. So the hero guy played a young Voldemort in, I think the sixth movie. Uh-huh. In the flashback scenes. Yeah, in the flashback scenes. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. So Google that. Wow, you're right.

Great stuff. So this movie is based on, I mean, I don't want to explain to all of you what fan fiction is. I'm sure you know. And if you don't, congrats, don't look it up. But someone wrote this fan fiction on Wattpad, which is just like a popular site for a shit like this. like self, basically like self-offered stuff.

And it's about like this woman who goes off to college and then has an affair with quote, notorious campus bad boy Harry Styles. So it's not really Harry Styles. It's just like this bad, like, romance story where she just like basically inserted Harry Styles into this role because that's who she like had a crush on. Right.

So it became super wildly popular. I had like half a billion views. And eventually she got it published with Simon and Schuster. Oh my God. It was like this huge, and obviously like there's the problem of turning fan fiction into like we saw it with like 50 shades of gray, Twilight, et cetera. All these just cursed books. So now this fan fiction was made into a book series and now it's been made into a movie. And it doesn't bear any resemblance anymore to Harry Styles.

Right. And there's just all this controversy to about how it's just like abusive and there's all this like horrible toxic relationship. So it's literally 50 shades of gray all over again. It's like high school 50 shades of gray with Harry Styles. but without Harry Styles. And it's just horrible. And I hope, I'm sure he knows about it, and I hope he doesn't. For like the 15th time this episode, this is like a weird week or like weird group of content.

We're finishing off with like a much more normal celebrity question. This is, as a celebrity, is sitting courtside at an NBA game worth it? So this week, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen were in Miami for Dwayne Wade's final home game. They were obviously sitting courtside, as celebrities do. And he fell on top of them in this like really now, like, circulated photo. I've pulled it up for you too. Fell in the middle, like, onto their laps. And a photographer caught them.

John Legends drink what I think is like a vodka soda or gin and tonic flies up, splashes him in the face, probably ruins whatever, like extremely expensive clothing. He's right. Chrissy Teigen gets like knocked, like really smacked. He is fully on top of her. Yeah. And it brings up a question like, so even if you don't, if you're one of the lucky ones who doesn't get like a seven foot 250 pound man toppling on top of you, every photographer is going to catch you eating whatever you want to eat. They're going to catch you either looking bored or like making some insane face whatever's happening in the game.

And as David Beckham knows, they catch you in your wandering eyes as all the cheerleaders come out at halftime. There's very famous photos of him looking at the Lakers girls. and he looked kind of creepy. So they catch, you really can't hide and you have to be on your game. Yeah. No pun intended. The entire game.

And it feels like, is that worth it. My take is that this is the ideal scenario because you have quartzite teeth in order to be seen and have pictures taken of you. Yeah. And this is like as viral as you could go. Yeah, it's definitely true.

So like this is actually like to become meme fodder is the goal. I mean, and that is Chrissy Teagan and John Legend's goal kind of, honestly. And the same thing work for Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner recently too. Right, with the chugging and the jewel. Right.

That's that. I know. And also, Chrissy Tegan, she just, I love her face. Because her face in this photo is just, it's another iconic Chris Tugan. Yeah. They were good sports about it. They were. It's rich.

It is too many. Anyway, like, tweet us your answers to some of these stuff. We need help. We need a normal episode. We're going to shoot for a more normal episode next week. We'll be back with some normal celebrity stuff. We swear. And no sent a centenet.

Oh, yeah. Coming out with his... Yeah. His new movie. Yeah. Watch it before next Friday. We will have thoughts. Yes.

Thank you, Guy, for cutting us off. Thank you for listening to you guys. This has been Tea Time. I'm Les Kelly. I'm Kea. And I'm Amelia Wettemeyer.