The Press Box - Ep. 119: 'The Challenge: Rivals III' With Bill Simmons and Juliet Litman
Episode Date: May 30, 2016The Ringer's Bill Simmons and Juliet Litman check in on MTV's 'The Challenge: Rivals III.' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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all right
the office this is Bill
hi I'm Juliet
and that's Juliet Libman
we were talking in the office about
the challenge. We just decided to do a 20-minute podcast about the challenge because we're at
a crucial point of the challenge right now. Oh, absolutely. There's still enough people in the
house that don't belong in the house that you can get drama and all the stuff that we love.
But we're also seeing alliances form. And this is usually the week when I have my hardest takes.
And I've really turned against Are You the One? Interesting. I kind of have a counter opinion.
Let's hear it. This is based on the fact that I really like Dario.
Mario is such a plus on this show because he says outrageous things.
Right.
Brandon from RU.
The One decided to go home this week.
Yes.
Literally because he missed his girlfriend.
He said he had important things back home and all that meant was his girlfriend.
I didn't believe that.
I thought that, first of all, I'm 46.
I can't believe I still watch this show intently and have hard opinions on it.
You're an inspiration to me.
I just thought he was an outcast.
Huh.
Like no one liked him enough?
Yeah, I don't think anyone liked him.
And I don't think he fit in and we see that sometimes on the show.
Last year, what was the girl who looked like Martin Short?
She almost bowed out.
The girl who looked like Martin Short.
Somebody's cut.
Oh, Brianna.
Jenna's cousin.
Yes, Jenna's cousin.
Yeah.
She works in the bakery.
Yeah.
She worked in the bakery and she wanted to leave.
That's true.
There's always one that gets a little gaming around episode four.
T.J. hates quitters.
Yes, he really does.
He hates quitting more than anything.
He hates quitting more than my wife hates cancer.
That's how much she hates quitting.
Quitting to him is a cancer.
It might be worse.
Yeah.
It's a cancer that doesn't kill you.
It just kills your soul.
This week he said to Brandon, when Brandon was designed to leave the game, he was like,
you've seen this show before, right?
You know I hate quitters.
Yeah.
TJ was like embracing his rep as somebody who hates quitters.
I loved it.
And the guy still quit, which I loved.
So highlights in the season so far.
Take one more Brandon note.
Yeah.
Brandon really likes to be loved, I think.
I've learned on R.E.
the one, he was like really into this one girl that he had like another girl.
girl back home or something.
I think he's used to women fighting over him.
And it didn't seem like anyone cared about him.
So maybe being an outcast would be okay if he had like some kind of side piece romance
happening.
But without that, I think there was no reason for him to stay.
So highlights of the challenge so far.
I mean.
Oh, I never really give my spiel about how much I hate are you the one.
Tell tell me.
I just, it's really weird.
I always thought it was hilarious when the veterans on the challenge look down on the
newbies.
Yes, the rookies.
And now I feel like I'm a veteran of the challenge.
And I look down on people who don't belong and say, you don't belong here.
You didn't earn this.
You weren't have a real world season.
It's true.
There's been many more creative ways to integrate new people.
Like for, I hated the fresh meat idea at first, but fresh meat ended up giving us so much.
We got Evan.
We got Kenny.
Yeah.
We ended up getting Ev.
Remember Ev who used to dominate these challenges?
Like, we just got so many good people.
And that actually was a way better method of like.
introducing new characters rather than going to a different MTV show.
Like obviously we know if they did it to keep,
Are you the one like alive and meaningful?
But using people who were tangentially related or like solely interested in validation
from the challenge are much better, much better.
Ev was one of the great female athletes that we've ever seen.
I have it like Marion Jones, Lisa Leslie, Ev.
Jackie Joyner Kersey.
Jackie Joyner Kersey.
And Ev, that's it.
Florence Joiner Griffith, whatever name is.
You know who's usually a good athlete is generally?
Brianna Martin Short's cousin.
Jenna is very what they say in the NBA long, not tall.
She's long.
She is long.
She has that great length, you know?
She's a small forward.
It could play stretch for her.
Absolutely.
She's pretty good.
So I don't like the R.
You the one people and I don't like that they try to do a coup d'etat and that they call the
real world people, the real world people.
No, they're the challenge people.
You guys are the outside people.
You don't get to do a real world like you guys are two conferences in the NBA.
I love it.
species and I still believe partly that they are double agents said to destroy.
Interesting.
The show.
Like maybe MTV actually wanted to ruin it so they decided to like water it down.
Yeah.
Who do you really, other than Dario, who do you really like out of all of those are you the
one people?
To me they feel like they're one step closer to the bad girls club.
Like that girl who's just here to start trouble.
Simone.
She's out of the bad girls club.
So we've got four are you the one girls.
We have Amanda who has like a very strange tan.
Yeah.
It's almost like she went tanning.
beforehand didn't know she was going to Mexico.
And it's like tan on tan.
It's not working.
That's a bad.
That's what porn stars do that.
Not real people shouldn't do that.
Very bad.
There's blonde Christina who had high hopes for because last season she had sex with Tony within 24 hours.
Immediately.
In the bathroom.
Yes, immediately.
But she's just really been kind of bummer.
They had an interaction.
We're not sure it was sex.
No, we're not sure.
They had a hug up.
Some sort of interlude.
Not sure what base they made it too, but they definitely hooked up.
They definitely put on a batter summit and grubber.
and grab the couple gloves.
Yeah.
Hop down in the field for a second.
Then there's Simone and Devin.
Simone is nuts.
Yeah.
And then there's a fifth one.
Oh, Brianna, who is Brandon's partner.
You know how I know Simone is nuts?
Because she has a crush on Wes.
Yeah.
That's a red flag.
It's either that or you just start eating bas salts.
Those are the two easiest ways to know if somebody's nuts.
So I love when the crazy, who's the crazy one?
Can't show up late?
Oh, I think Amanda?
Amanda, yes, there's Amanda.
From Bad Girls Club?
Tan on Tan.
Camilla almost didn't know what to do.
It was like Terminator too when the Schwarzenegger robot had met this new robot that had
powers that he didn't have.
Camilla's doing all her tricks.
She's getting in the face.
She's spitting like liquor spit all over the people right up there, sticking her boobs
out.
And this Amanda was like a blank slate.
Yeah.
She kept coming and coming.
She could not be deterred.
She was like not upset.
Not intimidated.
Not at all. I kind of liked it. That kind of made me like her.
I really like Nani and her cousin.
Nicole.
And if they spun them off into something, I would at least give it a test drive.
Like when Snooky and J.W.
Got their own show.
See, I didn't like that.
But you would give it a shot with Nicole and Nani. Two bartenders.
The dirty secret with J.W.
She was an awful character who sucked pretty much 90% of that show.
She was positioned as like, I'm the Black Widow.
I'm going to have sex with you.
Then I'll cut your head off.
And she actually was a terrible character
And she just had a boyfriend
And she was like this whipped girlfriend
Who didn't really do anything
Roger
Roger, her boyfriend seemed like kind of a great guy
Like I kind of liked Roger
I missed Jersey Shore
That magic will never be captured again ever
So my wife and my kid are traveling this weekend
And apparently my son stumbled onto the Jersey Shore this morning
And like snooky
What?
And banged out like an episode and a half
I was like, can this not happen?
Phil, I'm so afraid for you
I know
That's very, very alarming.
My son's like 18 going on 8.
All right, so the challenge, another, the MVP so far for me.
Well, let me hear your MVP first.
Let's argue about this.
Okay.
I think I'm going to go with Ashley.
Smashley.
Oh, wow.
Where would we be without Ashley this season?
I'm horrified by her.
She's pretty scary.
Also got great length, very tall.
Yeah.
Should be great at the WMBA.
The shower thing was like right out of a point.
weren't seen. Yes. She also looked very prepared. She just seemed like she kind of like needs,
I think she similarly needs attention. So Jamie, I don't think discriminates at all. It was just like,
okay. No. It was to him, it was like stopping through the McDonald's drive-thru or something. He's
like, all right, sure. Yeah. And then he last week, he was like, oh, Ashley was moaning. I'd know that
moan anywhere. So that's pretty rude. Yeah, that probably was the iconic moment of this season so far.
They had a soap challenge in case you haven't caught up yet,
where they had to grind their butts against the soap to make the soap melt
so then you could see the numbers inside.
It was the most egregious attempt to simulate sex in a challenge that they've ever had on this show.
It was so deeply disturbing that I'm just dying to know who came up with it,
but came up with that idea because, like, they need to be evaluated.
They really do.
It's an insane idea.
Who's like, let's take a poll and cover it with soap and have them grab up.
their bodies against it and search for numbers that are placed in a weird place.
Not their bodies.
Their butts and genitals.
It was bizarre.
Joe, you don't watch the challenge, right?
Can you just picture this in your head?
Two people on a giant long thing of soap that's basically shaped like a strippers pole but lying horizontally.
And you have to grind your genitals and your butt against this soap as hard and fast and violently as you can so that.
the soap eventually sheds off
and you could see numbers that are buried within
the soap. This was an actual challenge.
Makes total sense. Yeah.
Chose in. He loves the show. He loves it.
So Ashley
She simulates sex.
She tried to do it.
Was it edited or do we think
she actually got excited?
I think she wanted people to think
she was excited. She faked it. Yeah, she
did the when Harry met Sally Deli scene.
Yeah, exactly. Do you think anyone got
a boner or a half
boner. Definitely not the women. That looked really uncomfortable.
Yeah, well, somebody got an allegedly partially torn butthole.
Simone. That could not have been real. She had to go get treated for her
butthole. If anyone was aroused by it, I'm going to say it was Corey. I think Corey might have
I think so too. So what would happen if one of those guys got a boner? Would they blurkel it?
Or would they acknowledge it in the show? They would acknowledge it, right? They would acknowledge
it but burkle it. They would discuss it, but burkle it. Just like every other sex scene.
I think they have boner rules on MTV.
They probably do.
Because there's been times when people have been making out and somebody's wearing boxers or something.
Yeah, and you don't see anything.
And they'll never show like somebody just walking away with a tent pitched or anything like that.
That's a rule.
I think that was handed down by Sumner-Rentstone right before he died, right before he went.
He didn't die yet.
Is he still alive?
Yeah, he's still alive.
Not in great shape.
That was his last rule.
No, I don't ever want to see a boner on MTV.
I don't care what else happens.
No boners.
Can let that channel go to hell.
No boners.
If there wasn't Ashley, I guess I would also be,
thankful to have Camilla, obviously, and Tony.
So, all right, hold that Tony thought because he's my MVP.
For me, Camilla now, I like to think of the challenge competitor.
You're so happy right now.
You love Challenge Podcast.
I love Challenge Podcasts.
And I just really excited to talk about Camilla.
She's reached a new level.
Well, you know, I think the challenge is the Fifth American Professional Sport.
I've been saying that for 12 years.
Camilla to me is now there's a real appreciation for the body of
work.
It's not just one challenge.
It's, I don't want to compare to LeBron making six straight finals or, you know,
some of the other great athletes who've seen Kobe playing 20 years.
But the body of work now with Camilla, this is now like a decade of just.
Yeah.
Her looks fluctuate by the show.
Yeah, right now she looks great.
Yeah, she looks good this season.
Yeah, it's because she owns a spa.
She might be in shape.
She might not be in shape.
Her skin might be in bad shape.
Her skin might look great.
She might look awesome.
She might be wearing the worst dress ever.
She might be looking hot in a cock.
a cocktail dress.
She's sane.
She's level-headed.
She's completely insane.
Completely insane.
She loses her mind in ways that nobody has lost her mind on the show.
She is the most all-over-the-map character they've ever had, and she's been doing it
for 10 years.
And I genuinely like her.
I do too.
I'm like, hey, Camila.
She seems sweet.
We also now know that she has two businesses and two bachelor's degrees.
Is that true?
Yes, she was yelling out.
Oh, yeah.
She was yelling out of the fight.
Yeah.
What are her two businesses, though?
I only know what one is, and it's a spa that she opened in Miami.
Maybe Dwayne Wade goes there.
We might have to send you to South Beach to go to Camilla's spa.
I would love to.
I would seriously love to.
I can't think of anything better.
So you think if we had to hand out gold, silver, and bronze.
Bronze to Camilla.
Yeah.
A little too level-headed.
She was great in the last episode.
Yes, she was.
And also the makeup streaming down her face is always a good touch.
Silver, I smashly, I agree.
I think the gold goes to Tony.
What scene doesn't Tony make better?
Tony is wonderful for television.
He's the best.
He's a complete affront to women.
He's so disgusting to women.
Women can't stay away from him.
You know that I have like a horrible track record of like being into the worst guys on TV.
Right.
Not into Tony.
Like he's just disgusting to me, but I love him on television.
And it's also like he's reached a point as a sexual character on television where I feel like he's ready at any point to have.
sex with anyone in any
like when Camila was upset afterwards
I just thought Tony's
gonna pull his pants down but like what let's
let me make you feel better and then we just started
we start hooking up just right
right there reeks of he's just ready
to go he I'm actually
surprised he hasn't hooked up more
like I feel like he has and that they're saving
it for the shit they don't show or whatever
that shows if he's like romancing
Jessica and having sex with someone else
because I just
don't think that he would like be willing
to play Jessica's game based on everything else I know about him.
So I wonder if she's going to find out later that he was secretly hooking up with someone.
I think the over-under for hookups he's had through this point of the season is three and a half.
Oh, interesting.
I also like the real world slash challenge universe is the only universe left in 2016,
which we have become a very advanced society.
It's the only society left where I could just take all my clothes off and climb into your bed.
and somebody can be like, you got to go.
And I'm like, all right, I'll leave.
Like, anywhere else that's a crime?
Everywhere else.
Anywhere else?
Anywhere else in America, South America, you pick a country.
It's probably a crime.
It's probably illegal.
Tony just takes it down, strips in.
Tony, I'm going to go to bed.
Can you just, I know you're naked and for some reason in my bed, but can you just leave, please?
The bar is so low that you're just like, oh, that's a move that Tony pulls.
I mean, not only does he seem to love sex, he also loves drinking.
And I really liked in his fight with Amanda, that's her name, right?
He was like, you have it so easy and are you the one.
All you do is you go to Hawaii and everything's provided for you.
It's not like on the real world where you have to pay for stuff and you have a bar tab.
Yeah.
And meanwhile, Tony stole a bottle of vodka from a bar when he was on the real world.
So I guess it really scarred him and he never got over it.
But I feel like bar tabs are like a problem for him because he's so frequently referencing them.
Do we honestly believe anyone in the Boone and Murray Empire pays for bar tabs?
I'm dubious.
Me too.
It's so hard to believe.
So, so hard to believe.
It's not road rules where you had to make your way.
It's real world.
They pay for stuff.
I like that they've, I thought they did a bad job of this last season.
Now this season, they've done a better job with it.
Just the random house party for no reason.
I loved it.
So tonight, there's not going to be a challenge because the producers have decided we don't
have enough footage of you guys getting drunk and Tony climbing to bed naked with somebody.
So here we go.
How's party tonight?
Let's do it.
And it works.
Let's go.
We got a good fight out of it.
He's very smart.
We're missing a few alphas, I think.
Like there's no coral.
There's no Anisa.
Johnny's a little.
Oh, thank God there's no Anisa.
She's like the anti-Kimal to me now.
Anise is responsible for one of my greatest, one of my favorite lines in challenge history.
When she yells it, I think it was Tori or someone who looked like Tori, his name, I can't
remember.
And she's like, it's when they had the one.
a gauntlet and she yells, I don't need a gauntlet.
I will cut you with words.
Yeah, I remember.
And I just wish there was like someone who would do that.
Like Simone is nuts, but she's not kind of like, she's not cutting you with words.
Yeah.
Coral was intimidating.
Yes, Coral I also loved.
Coral was an enforcer.
Oh, yeah.
Coral and Evan was like one of the greatest tandums of all time.
Coral was like Charles Oakley.
Yeah.
She was great.
The stories, she's gotten one punch fights.
Where are you out with bananas this season?
in.
You know, I think he's graduated into kind of a veteran role.
He doesn't want to get in trouble.
I think the fact that he can't hook up because he has a serious girlfriend is a big detriment
to the business character.
He's basically, this is like four straight challenges where there's no romance drifting over
to anything.
I also think he's friends with Sarah and they staged the whole thing, like the bad blood
of the thought.
There's no way.
They play that up.
They know that's camera time.
Right.
Although it's not really working.
Huh?
It's not really working.
They haven't been on that much.
Yeah, because their heart's on it.
Right.
I think it's time for him to go.
She did this.
You think it's time for a bananas to hang it up?
Yeah, I do.
Oh, I disagree.
I don't know.
Like, he did reclaim the throne this time with giving a great toast.
I was very impressed.
They still are editing it a little too much, but great toast.
But, like, who does he have?
Like, he's just kind of like the super, super senior.
He's like the guy in college who comes back for homecoming, like one year or too many.
Deroblo saying, almost fire.
Hey, man, great time.
Be back.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just think he needs to be single.
It's a good point.
It's really hard to be dating somebody and then go on the show if you're just going to be faithful to them.
Right.
If you're going to be faithful, I don't want you on this show.
They should have a different show for people in relationships.
Like, just like, let's get them out of here.
Like, Johnny, you can stay on MTV, but let's get you on a different show.
Hey, dirty secret.
People in relationships aren't as fun as people who aren't in relationships.
Wait, what?
I've never heard that.
Yeah.
Guess what happens when one of your close friends start dating somebody.
Not as fun to hang out with them.
See, yeah.
So good.
You brought your boyfriend.
Yeah.
So I wish bananas was single.
Okay, that's a good note.
I think TJ's been phenomenal this year.
Great.
He's really embraced.
He's finally like really a host.
He's not just a BMX rider, but he's like BMX rider slash host.
One thing that they've added this year that I think is going to end up killing somebody and it won't be maybe this year but down the road.
They're a little too high up on these challenges where they tumble into the water.
Isn't somebody just going to break their neck one of these times?
So Camila at the end of this week's episode, she has fallen into the water and she's yelling.
for help. And that's for an end. So I assume she's okay. But they must have measured exactly how many
feet you can tumble and land awkwardly in the water without getting seriously hurt. But I would think
somebody's going to break their arm at some point. Well, Ashley got hurt this week too, even though they
completed the challenge. These challenges have seemed harder, minus the soap one, which just
was outrageous. But the heights challenges this week have seemed kind of hard. So, all right, I have
to ask as a dad of a daughter who watches these shows now, always thinking about stuff like
what if this was my daughter is kind of the dominant theme of my life right now.
Who is this year's award for the guy Bill wouldn't want to be his daughter on this season of
the challenge?
The one you don't, the guy, to date your daughter?
No, the girl.
Oh, you don't want to be here.
I think there's a very obvious choice.
Jessica, I think.
Jessica, why?
She sucks and she's into Tony.
Oh, that's interesting.
To me, it's like smashly.
Oh, I mean, if, if, if.
If my daughter had a name that was the nickname was smashly.
Yeah, I mean.
When your behavior warrants a nickname that has smash in it, not a good time.
Not a good time for dad.
I know you and I know your wife.
I've met your parents.
My kids would never be allowed to know.
Yeah.
There's just no way that your daughter isn't become like Ashley.
I don't need to know anything else but Ashley to know that she must have some very complicated relationships in her family.
I'm complicated to be an understanding.
Yeah.
So I'm just not worried about that.
Jessica is like more on the normal spectrum and therefore scarier to me because she's
somebody you would know in your real life.
Yes, exactly.
So and that's just that's upsetting.
I made another realization as I try to figure out how long my son's going to live at home.
I really feel like if the real world challenge, the Buna Marie Empire are still going
11 years from, I think it's a great place for him.
Okay.
He loves having fun.
Women love him.
He likes blondes.
They've got a lot of them there.
He has temper tantrums.
He's ready now.
He doesn't like to wear clothes.
I really think this could be it for him.
I think he could have first the real world season as the tester.
And then maybe six, seven, eight challenges.
He'd have a nickname.
He'd call himself like the wild animal or something.
Ooh, I like that.
Yeah.
This is my new best case scenario for him is he becomes Johnny Bananas 2.0.
Okay.
You know, that would be pretty great.
Johnny is special.
Johnny's lucrative.
Yeah, he's got a lot of.
lot of Twitter followers. He's got a business. He's got a t-shirt line. Yeah. And what does he do?
He's just fun and plays out people. He socializes. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's great. That's
interesting. I kind of have a little let down by Kellyanne so far this season.
She's another, she's another contender of like you don't want your daughter to be Kellyanne because
it's more, this is this isn't going to come out right. So just bear with me for.
a second. Okay, I'm really excited now. To me, it's sadder when a woman stays too long on the
challenge than when a man does. Like when Mark Long stayed on five challenges too long, it was kind
of funny. It was like, look at this guy. Oh, my God. This guy just, he keeps coming back. He wants more.
When Kelly Ann's on it, I'm just like, you're pretty. Like, what are you doing? What's your
goal when you're in your early 30s coming on the challenge and you're an attractive woman?
Yeah, I think part of it has to do with the fact that like the, like, Mark Long can like,
like him like praying on these younger girls.
It's kind of like not surprising.
True.
Good points.
I think that with Kelly Ann still being on the show, it's also sort of like I thought you could do better.
Yeah.
Where it's almost like I have higher expectations for Kelly Ann than I do for Mark.
Like I'm just like, yeah, of course Mark is like pushing his protein powder.
But Kelly Ann like seems like she could have a real full life.
And presumably a real full life precludes going on the show regular.
Well, and also all the guys are younger than her.
Yeah.
And there's this, it's almost like, well, who was that one on who kept going on a bachelor pad?
Claire?
Oh, yeah, Claire Crawley.
I mean, there's definitely like the stigma of like the older woman who can't find someone who keeps going back on reality TV shows.
That's like just does feel sadder.
Right. So why doesn't that stigma exist for Mark Long?
Why is it, why was it funny?
Yeah, it's a total double standard, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
That's why I hesitated to bring it up.
Yeah.
I'm bad we're talking it out.
Yeah, I am too.
Because it is true.
Like in The Bachelor,
Bachelor Imparedes like totally feeds on the crazy women who can't get a guy.
And they tend.
It's like they're just desperate.
But like Jake Pavelka came back to the Bachelor.
He's way more desperate.
Yeah.
Jake Pavelka is like is terrible.
But I think I think the type of women you're used to seeing on reality TV are like 25 and under
extremely hot, really skinny.
And that's just like you're used to seeing that type of woman in that frame of reference.
And so when Kellyanne used to be that way, now she's grown up, it's like more jarring.
And it's unfair.
I mean, it is unfair.
Like, it's more normal for Johnny to keep coming back than Kelly Ann.
Right.
But it does, like, stick out more.
I think it also has to do with the way, like, the shows like that are edited where, like, the salacious stuff.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, like the salacious stuff dropped your eye.
It is just like some of these younger people who are just, they're going to, like, hook up with Tony.
I think the other women also really don't like her.
So I think that doesn't help her trial.
Yeah, why do you think they don't like her?
I don't know.
She must be.
I like her.
I like her, yeah, I do too.
She seems like the kind of girl who would say.
kind of woman who says, like, I don't have female friends or something.
Who would be your best, if you had to have a female friend to hang out with for a week in Hawaii,
who would you pick from the challenge?
Currently on right now?
Currently on the show.
I think you've got to go with Nani.
She seems like a loyal, loyal woman.
She's just a fun.
She's really beautiful.
So guys would come over to us.
That's true.
That's good one.
Yeah, you got to have that.
And I don't know.
She seems loyal.
She really does.
She takes things hard when she gets into fights.
Mine would be Leroy.
Oh.
Just like Leroy.
Leroy has the worst luck in the challenge.
Every single time something bad happens.
I just think he's like the player who like you just gnawing injuries.
He's a frail star.
He's Derek Rose.
Yeah.
He just never,
he's never to come back.
He had a couple of good seasons and it's just never happening again.
It's not going to happen.
Sorry, buddy.
Who's the other one like that?
Yeah, Derek Rose.
No, Derek Rose is.
I was trying to think of another athlete who you just know it's never going to, Dwight Howard.
Sure.
I feel like Leroyard needs to have like a bog at Renaissance where he becomes a role player,
but he can't be.
he can't be asked to carry a show because he can't make it through.
What chain of events would lead to you making out with Tony, do you think?
Like seven shots?
Like almost blocked out.
Like we have our first ringer party and a bunch of them show up and Tony's there.
Yeah.
Like I can just.
If you're in the corner talking to him, do we come rescue you?
Yes.
Yeah.
So we have my permission to come get you.
Yes.
Oh my God.
Yes.
That would be a huge mistake.
Oh, no.
It's over the corner with Tony.
I think I'm kind of in the Kelliann phase.
where if that were to happen to me, it wouldn't be funny anymore.
It would just be sad.
I think I've graduated from, like, yeah, let's just do it for the story.
That'd be funny to, like, ooh, not sure she should be on this show anymore.
So let's just aim higher.
Alton, if Alton wants to come back, sure.
Oh, like I've retired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you think we have reached a point now where we should have a senior challenge?
Yes.
Everyone's like over 38.
Yeah, well.
Do we have that we have that whole demo now?
Absolutely.
Or even the ones who have like weird second careers, like Emily Schram from D.C.
One of my faves.
Bacon and Skinny Jeans.com.
She's like a bodybuilder now.
Have you seen her recently?
She's like, she's like, more than ripped.
She's like really muscular.
And I feel like there should be like a real like physical challenge.
We could get like Landon back.
All of the really good athletes.
Landon, one of the great athletes.
Yeah.
Landon is all time.
He's way up there.
I think Landon, Alton before he ruined his reputation.
and remember Dan from Road Rules way back?
Oh, yeah.
I loved Dan.
Dan's in the Brandon Walsh category of like nice guys on TV.
And like those three are like top athletes.
Sorry, Johnny.
Do you get worried when you watch when they do these challenges that they build these complicated things that hang in the...
I know they're not going to break, but it gives me the funny.
My wife always goes up the funny feeling.
It's been a funny feeling in my stomach.
I notice that they don't rebuild stuff.
Like they used to always change around the challenge, but they basically use the same platform this time that they used for the previous height challenge.
And I had two thoughts about that.
One is probably for safety.
Yeah.
And two is probably for budget.
I just feel like the show has much lower budget.
Mexico is a lot cheaper than like when they used to go to, like, South America.
Why not do it in L.A.?
What's the big deal?
I know.
Just do one in L.A.
You get so many better people.
That would be my one suggestion for Boone and Murray.
I don't know why they don't bring back road rules.
There's no reason not to.
In the hills.
Yeah.
Well, Lauren Conrad has a new show next week.
What's that?
I don't know.
She just posted an Instagram about it.
It's coming on May 31st on Tuesday.
I'm so excited.
She's trying to steal spotlight from the ringer.
I know.
She knows the ringer's launching, so she's trying to steal our thunder.
But I've missed Lauren Conrad in my life.
Really?
Yes.
I have a weird love for Lauren.
She's just great.
I miss that show.
I miss that format.
I still feel like I even like the Hawaii show they did.
Who's the one with the surfers?
I like that one.
Oh, like ocean.
Oh, no.
I forget what that was called.
Hawaii life or something.
I like being involved, being like when the cameras and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.
It's like Verite reality TV.
Although now it would just be everybody on their devices.
Do you happen to watch The Real Housewives of New York?
No, my wife does.
There was an unprecedented fight on it last week that like I'm just still recovering from.
Like it was, it was so unbelievable that it was like, oh, it's so unbelievable that I know
it's real because it would be impossible to stage this.
What was the fight?
Luanne, the countess.
Yeah, I like Luanne.
Yes.
So she is a single woman.
And, like, her rep now is that she basically just hooks up with tons of guys, married and single, older, younger, her own age.
Really?
All of them.
Yeah.
So she's at a party that one of the housewives, Durinda and her boyfriend, John, have thrown.
And she had, like, basically pre-game the party with Ramona and Sonia.
So they show up a little drunk.
They went for, like, some, like, all you can drink and eat sushi place.
They show up for this party.
Luanne, who's like a middle-aged woman, sees some guy.
And she's like, I have to get out of here.
I had a fling with him and I just never called him back.
I have to leave.
I'm afraid.
So she leaves.
And this guy, he must come up to her.
But Bravo only captured the audio and they didn't have the video.
So you hear this interaction of Luan trying to get away from this guy who she just ghosted.
This middle-aged woman running away from this guy that she ghosted.
They're both drunk, like these just like completely grown adults.
And they get like into this like real fight, but you can't see it.
And you only hear the audio.
And then Luanne leaves and this guy is wasted.
He goes up to all Luanne's friends
And he was like, I just wanted to hear from her
I just loved her
Luan just, she just started ignoring me
And then he caused another fight
Between the Housewives
It was absolutely wild
And all these people in their 50s?
Yes, exactly, all these people in their 50s
And it made me really happy
Because I was like, you can still have fun
And make drunken mistakes in your 50s
That's a good one I ended on
That's it for Channel 33
Don't forget to check out Seekek, our buddies.
Don't forget to check out the ringer.com because we're launching next week.
And don't forget about After the Thrones on HBO now 1am E.T.
Every week in my show, any given Wednesday, June 22nd, 10 p.m. Wednesdays.
Ironically, the challenge is also on Wednesdays.
It's your competition.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's a DVR universe.
There's room for everyone.
There's room for me and Johnny Bananas at the same time.
We'll be fine.
enjoy the rest of Memorial Day.
