The Press Box - There's No I in Tea Time But There is a "Me!" | Tea Time

Episode Date: April 26, 2019

Kanye hosted his Sunday Service at Coachella Weekend 2 and sold overpriced merchandise to go along with it (1:31). Adele and her husband are divorcing and Nikki Bella is moving on from John Cena (11:48). Tea Time reviews Taylor Swift's new single "Me!" (20:57), and special guest Zoe Simmons helps Tea Time celebrate the 15th anniversary of '13 Going on 30' (33:17). Hosts: Kate Halliwell, Liz Kelly, Amelia Wedemeyer Guest: Zoe Simmons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up, guys, and welcome to tea time. This is a weekly pop culture podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network. I'm Liz Kelly. I'm Kate Hallow. And I'm Amelia Weddemeier, and today we're discussing the new Taylor Swift single, Me. Theory is about her romantic past. Keep it in game. The Sleps versus Critics' debacle.

And we're going to have a retrospective of 13 going on 30. Yes. Turns 15 this week. Every time you hear the bell, we have to change topics, no matter what. And now let's spill the tea. So this week before we start the first category, we have a very special guest. We have the pod daughter. We have Zoe Simmons in it.

Zoe, hello. Hi, how are you? We're great. I believe that we share a lot of common interests and pop culture. We do. Contribute as much as you can. And you're also here as a very special guest for the 13 going on 30 category. You are 13 yourself.

You can relate to this stuff than us old people can. We're going to focus on that rather than how close we are to 30. Exactly. We're going to focus on that end. Exactly. It's a thrilling development this week. Also, Kay is out. So, Evan, there's a sinister male presence in the room.

Evan scream from the other room. Nice. Evan, on the other hand, does not give a crap about pop culture, so we'll be proceeding without him. He has not been given a mic. Exactly. Okay, so category one. This is Tea Time Checks In With. Coachella Weekend 2 was last weekend.

There's really nothing to talk about here except for Kanye's Sunday service, which happened this time instead of Weekend 1. I've heard good things. I've heard bad things. He sold incredibly. overpriced merchandise. He had t-shirts, sweatpants, socks. Like, this stuff went for $225.

Those were the sweatshirts. The socks, the Jesus Walk socks, went for $50. Jesus. He had sweatpants. I saw on eBay someone, people in general are selling the grass that they sat on for Kanye's Sunday service. It's not the actual Bible. Over $100.

Oh, my God. The grass that was like part of this performance people are selling. I like want to just go to. a neighborhood and take some grass and then say like hey I was there right the seller of this grass took a picture of like his hand with the clomp in it in front of the sunday service so he did go to great lengths I feel like we hyped this up so much and it was like just so like meh I completely agree we talked about this for like four episodes in a row I know I know I did talk to people who went one tea time on the ground reporter Jared Kleber went and he said that it was an incredibly

spiritual experience like he had an amazing time Was it, though? I know. That's he said it got lost in the shuffle of everyone talking about the merch and the Kardashian circus. But he did say it was like a very positive experience. I have a theory. I think that they might be saying this because like for the past however many years, Kanye has been psycho. So it's like he's back to normal.

Like he's on medication. And maybe that's why it's like it was spiritual. Maybe it was just like very normal and good. I mean, it seems like a positive development for him mentally and personally. and like if people had a good time and like felt yeah it brought all the Kardashian Jenner's out everybody was there in various like nature stones of all the like unhealthy things that happened at Kotala like oh my sister Sunday morning service is fine that's nice we're putting that to bed next thing we're checking in with Kate the Avengers premiere it's been like a whole week of

Avengers stuff Amelia and I saw end game last night Zoe I know Ben went yeah Ben went to the premiere yeah Ben was out the premiere bill was like he met Chris Sevens, he did not give him your number, and I almost quit on the spot. But yeah, so Ben is like way more connected than all of us. 100%. We had to just like watch everything that happened at the premiere. And yeah, we're not going to spoil anything about the movie, but I want to just apologize for saying last week that Chris Hemsworth was like making his way up to number one Chris

because that's absolutely not the case. Chris Evans is Chris Prime forever in my heart. Zoe, do you have an opinion on that? Do you care which Chris is like the best? Not really. I'm like more into relevant or like. I mean younger. Whoa!

Did you just say why that the persons are not irrelevant? I mean, they're relevant, but like for kids, my age at least, it's not like we're talking about, like, who's hot or him or now. Wow, I know this is great information. I came out to have a good time and I'm feeling really attacked. It's like minute five of the pod and so he's like, you guys are irrelevant. Do you think any of them are hot? Like, are you attracted to any? No.

Wow. We can agree on that. But yeah, there was just like a lot of crazy fashion at the premiere. Brie Larson, who we love to hate, hate to love. We like her. We support her as a general concept. But she and Scarlett Johansson had like infinity ring bracelets, like infinity gauntlet bracelets and rings. And they also sell those at Hot Topic for $11.

So like that's my take on that. Maybe you don't wear anything on a red carpet that can be bought at Hot Topic. Yeah. But yeah, other than that, it was fine. Avengers, the movie's great. Go see it. Oh, yeah. Sebastian Stan is so fucking hot.

Yeah, he's extremely hot. Honestly, a lot of weird stylistic choices in this movie, but like I'm kind of into all of them. So yeah, go see Avengers this weekend. We have a spare five hours. Yeah, I also have no thoughts on this. I suppose I'll see it because everyone else has seen it. And you two, like, won't tell me anything about the movie? If you want me to tell you, I will tell you.

Okay, Kate refused. Oh, I'll tell you. Okay, so we'll talk after the pod. But I would throw Ben Affleck off a cliff or Sebastian Stan. That's how hot he is. Wow. Yeah, that's right. It's 106 AM and the spot is on fire.

I have nothing to add to the Avengers discourse, but Elizabeth Olson has obviously been on this press. store and she told the New York Times that part of her skin care routine is that she uses placenta serum on her face. And this is the info I'm here to provide. Is random really like outskirled, so not related

to the movie. But it's essential. Like Olson adjacent to the twins. Exactly. I appreciate. Can we move on? Yes. Okay, great. Evan smash that bow. Oh my God. Evan's learning. It's going to be the journey. Yeah. All right. The next category is this week in social media.

Okay, so it's been a weird week to be in the media realm on Twitter. Tea time has been shaking always. It's been a lot of, there's been like the celeb versus critics debate that's kind of come from a variety of different sources. So early in the week, Lizzo responded to this bad pitchfork review of her new album. Great album, like largely positive response. There was one like just not great, like person that just like didn't love it. And so she responded to that negatively.

Michael Chey also went after Uprocks Stephen Hayden on his Instagram, and I'm not going to get into that at all. But it just kind of, there's been like a bunch of celebrities sort of calling out critics and calling out reporters, and like Olivia Munn wrote a long sort of clap back on a fashion

site that she objected to. And we do have a really long piece on all this on the site. Alison Herman did a really good job, like diving deep into what all of it means. But we're going to focus on, oh, also Michael Chee went on after Allison on his Instagram immediately, which is how you know that piece is good. So go read it immediately.

But we're going to focus on the Justin Bieber and the Ariana Grande of it all because, you know, we love to talk about them on this podcast. So it started with Morgan Stewart on E's Nightly Pop Show. Yes. So Justin Bieber came out for Ariana Grande's Coachella Weekend 2 set. And people, basically, Morgan Stewart was talking about how it seemed like he was lip syncing. Yeah, she said, I did not realize he was going to be that bad. He definitely looks like he put an oxy pad on that forehead, but I don't care that is fucked up. Yeah.

Wow. Oh, damn. So Justin Bieber basically like pushed back to that as is his right. And he said, at Morgan Stewart on Twitter, imagine if he spent even half the time he spent laughing at other people's expense, actually building people up and encouraging people how much positivity you could bring. So basically he just had a long thread about how like she has a platform to make a difference and how she doesn't need to be tearing people down, et cetera.

And like we know Justin's had a lot of struggles lately with his mental health and his basically status as like a public figure. Yeah. And he's been treated. He's been treating a lot. One of the things he said in one of these tweets is it says it's people like you that are bullies at school that are making kids suicidal, which is also an extreme. Yeah. So, I mean, there are obviously two sides to this. We obviously work in the media profession and talk about celebrities on a regular basis. So it's tough. He is a point and what she said was horrible. So I think we were kind of like measured on his response. And then Ariana joined the chorus and tweeted and said, people are, this has become a meme. It immediately became. a meme. People are so lost. One day, everybody that works at all them blogs will realize how unfulfilled they are and purposeless what they're doing is and hopefully ship their focus elsewhere.

That's going to be a beautiful ass day for them. I can't wait for them to feel lit inside. Wow. Kate, how do you feel as a blogger? So I am the resident blogger of tea time. That's like part of what I do for the ringer.com. I want to say, I feel super lit inside every time I blog about Chris Evans. There you go. And it feels weird that you even use that phrasing because he's kind of like outdated now and kind of like being lit is like so wait and are the teens still saying lit no that's out now okay okay so are gonna grande who says she's got like you know her finger on the pulse like is obviously not yeah i love it though and i'm gonna think about this like every time i have to blog about something but i made a quick list of things that i went through like

my author page on the ringer and was just made a quick just a quick list of little things that i've blogged about that made me feel just so extremely lit inside right go ahead so i'm just gonna rattle them off. Rihanna in literally any context. Blogs about Rihanna a lot. So lit. Am I using that right? I think so. Chris Evans' beard. Love to blog about that. Hot Dumbledore.

Yikes. Horny Ice Dancers. Yikes. The Little Women remake. Shout out to Liz Kelly. So lit. Harry style sparkly suits. A second blog about Chris Evans beard. A second blog about Hot Dumbledore. These are a lot of two blogs about Hot Dumbledore

and then various other topics on the ring or thirst beat. Wow. Okay. Ariana Grande, every time I blog about... You showed her. You really did. Every time I make a GIF about Jude Law

just for a blog post, I'm going to just think about Ariana Grande. I hope that she finds joy in life, similar to that. Wow. All right, next thing in social media, because we obviously don't have time to cover, like, that entire saga, we're just going to leave that beat. Is Sophie Turner?

Yeah, so she's like... I don't watch Game of Thrones, but I know she is. It's hard not to this summer. She's everywhere. She really is. She's going to be in Dark Phoenix. Unfortunately, she's engaged to Joe Jonas. So, hey, if you're listening, I know you're not, but if you are, break up with him.

Okay. And so she went on her Instagram, and apparently she does this thing where she says, and that's the tea. Yeah. Carrelate. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. She does a bit of us. So she went on her Instagram, and this is what she said.

Honor of Easter, I guess Game of Thrones wanted the storyline to have a little Easter bunny hop, hop, hop in into that pussy. And that's the two. So she's referencing Aria's sexy in on Game of Thrones last week. But she does the thing where she like zooms in on her face and like then chugs some wine. So she's extremely aware. She's extremely aware of her own personal brand right now, which I respect. She's having a lot of fun on social media. She also did like, and that's the tea.

She does that all the time. And you know, Sophie Turner, like, have fun, I guess. Yeah, be happy. It really is the summer of Sophie Turner. Yeah. If you're, like, this popular, why not extend it? You know, like, have fun with it. Right, go, Sophie Turner, go.

Evan. Okay, the next category is T-Times biggest relationship news ever. Normally, the past couple weeks you've done the bad and the good. This week, we have the bad, the good, and the WTF, because some weird shit is going down in celebrity. relationships. We're going to start with the bad to get it out of the way. Cue the piano, cue the ballads, get your sheet music out. Adele is single. She and her husband Simon broke up about eight or nine months ago, so this is not

new. They started keeping it underwrecked. It came out directly after we recorded last week along with two other divorces that we couldn't talk about, so we're doing it now. Adele and Simon have been together for eight years. They've been three years married. They share a six-year-old son together. It's very sad. This isn't a $180 million. divorce. What? I mean, she's worth so much. Oh, my God. You're right. I'm like, geez, wow. I know. They apparently grew apart.

They became more friends and lovers. It's a classic tale, but it makes me extremely sad. But I'm ready for that album. I know. It's been like the main reaction is like, okay, we are genuinely really sad for her. And like, please channel this into some amazing. Because she's not naming the albums after her age anymore.

25 was the last. Is that a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I heard it in something. It's definitely Definitely going to be based off of this break. Sad. But her album cover, she already did like the piano ball and the black and white photo and stuff. It's going to be a similar vibe as a divorcee. But we'll see.

Maybe the songs will be like more pump and like kind of fast. Or she'll go the other way. She'll channel rage into it. You know what you do that? Paramore released like this super poppy album where like all the songs lyrics were actually super sad and about like all the struggles that she had gone through. but it was like the popiest, like happiest sounding. Hell yeah, Adele.

Go get your synthetal. I want like a jagged little pill, Adele. Oh my gosh. Yes. That would be lit. I don't want that. I'm not afraid to say that. We should see.

All right, other bad news. There were two other divorces right after we recorded last week. The pitch perfect couple, Skylar Asson broke up with his wife, and then Michelle Williams broke up with her husband that she's only been a great year. Yeah. Yeah. And I just really want Michelle Williams to be happy. I know.

Also, huge news from yesterday. Yeah, I didn't put this in the outline, which is how I know that the tea time, you guys know me, Kate Davidson, have split up, the world is crushed, I'm happy. It's the end of an era. It really is. I respect them for, like, really going for it and then being like, yeah, this didn't work. Well, isn't that what he does with all of his relationship? That's what him and Arianna did.

They're like, let's really go for it. That's true. One day and then it didn't work. I really, like, this will be so fun to look back on in like three years. be like, remember when Kay Beck and Sound date of Pete Davidson? I know. What time that was, right? We're so lucky to live through that.

Agreed. One last piece of bad news, Amelia. Yeah, so Olivia Colpo, who she was formerly Miss World and she, like, is a model and she's, like, an Instagram influencer, or she actually had a job before she became an influencer. Yeah. Anyway, she was seen dancing with Zed at Coachella, and her ex-boyfriend, NFL player, Danny Amandola, took to Instagram and went on, like, he wrote a whole dissertation. about how, like, she liked living in a fishbowl, and she would get mad about how he wouldn't post photos of her. But he was like, I'm a private person,

but I'm writing this whole thing about our relationship. And, like, stream of consciousness. Yeah, I was like, dude, you're so messy. Go and, like, not use your phone for a good, like, month. Yeah, that's her advice to so many people in this podcast. Just unplug for a little bit. Okay, on to the good. You know, on T-Town, we have to cover everybody.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to watching you talk about this. across from a 13-year-old girl. Okay. So, Zoe, do you know who Nikki Bella is? Yeah. I 100% know who she is actually. Do you watch her show? Is obsessed with wrestling.

Oh, right. He's really a wrestling. And I was, like, totally roped into that for a large majority of my life. Okay. So I know all about that. Yeah, me too. Did you watch your E-series, total bellows? No, I'm so done with that.

Amazing. Okay, the show itself is pretty bad. One Sunday, my roommate and I. Expected. I had nothing to do, and I watched like eight straight episodes of total best. I know. There was nothing else on the TV, and we just got cable. We were like, oh, my God, they're like TV on all the time.

Anyway, the good relationship news that has to do with Nikki Bella is that she's in a new relationship with professional dancer. Artem Chigvince. And we're going to look out later. No one's anything to think about how I said that. Okay, they met on dancing with the stars. She went on her, she has a podcast called The Bella. podcast with her and her sister. And she said that he's a quote,

an amazing cook. He's an amazing lover. But that she's not ready to call them like boyfriend girlfriend yet. She also said that he has very graceful legs, which is the highest compliment. Yeah, it would make sense. As a man you can get.

Yeah. We're happy for Nikki Bella because John Cena like just ragged all to her around for so long. Like, do you want kids? I don't know. I'm just like in my head.

I'm getting a different image. Yeah. You're right. That was a portraitress of work. He was just like playing her around, you know? You can't settle down. On these total Bella episodes that I watched, he was just being a total schmuck to her. Which is sad. That's sad. I know. But we want this to work out. Yes, yes, yes. For the record, I am not an expert. I'm not so down like that. Okay. Other good news? Anybody want to take this one? Yeah, Matt Damon and Chris Hemsworth and their wives are, you know, they're still going strong in their relationship. Hell yeah. As best friends. and yeah, they were, you know, pictured out and about.

The heart-hitting news on tea time. So Matt Damon is now besties with Chris Hemsworth. Amelia has moved on to Sebastian Stan. Oh, no. Everyone is abandoning Ben Affleck and that's time from me. That's what I'm saying. I'm so sorry. Last piece of good news, and this is really good news,

and this does count as relationship because these two have more of a chance than probably Nikki Bell in a dancer lover. Louis Tomlinson from One Direction and a solo career, posted on his Instagram on Wednesday, talking about how he met a new friend. And he said a month or so ago, I met an amazing man called Richard.

He had a few things he wanted to do, so I thought I'd help him out. And then he shared this link to a video. The backstory is they met while Louis was visiting Yorkshire, and he met Richard, and they bonded over the fact that they both lost a loved one. Richard lost his wife, Pat, who suffered from Alzheimer's back in 2016.

And it was around the time that he lost his mom. Louis lost his mom. So Richard had this bucket list of things to do. This is like a fucking movie. You should watch this YouTube video. It's so emotional. So basically the two of them went on and crossed off Ollie's things on Richard's bucket list. Like flying a helicopter, driving a race car, singing in a packed arena.

Richard, like back in his youth used to sing. So on one of his concerts, he just gave him the stage. And he got it all to himself. I know. It's very emotional. I'm like getting teary. I didn't even cry in Avengers Endgame, but this is getting out. Staying on the stage alone.

It's like extremely beautiful. Just talking about like bonding and love and loss and all that stuff. Highly recommend. And it's good news because, you know, people are coming together. Yeah. And also, Louis Tomlinson has really been through it. His mom died, again, his mom died in 2016 and his sister just died. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So like, I just really want him to be happy. I know. Jeez. I know. All right, we're going to segue, I guess, to the wonderful. No, I hear that line. We have one more part of relationship news.

This is giving me so much respect for Kaya. Every time someone else has to do this. the bell. Sorry, Evan. Okay, we have one more little piece of news, and this is called the what-the-fuck part in relation to news. This is about Nicholas Cage.

Oh, Nicholas Cage. Guys, who wants to say it? So we talked about his extremely brief marriage. Four days. A couple weeks ago, it was four days. He was like, she's going to take my money as he was marrying her.

Yeah. His wife is now asking for spousal support. Yep. Get it. He's working through his feelings in extremely public fashion. He was in

Korea Town on Sunday, and he just really went in on a karaoke bar, which... That is just... We've all been there. Oh, my God. You got to do what you got to do? I guess. I guess, but, like, you're an Oscar winner. You can't look forward to do this in your home.

That's not his brand anymore. It's fine. It's sad. That's sad. He did an extremely emotional rendition of Purple Rain. Oh, God. Yes. And he's just, he's working it out.

He is. Honestly, girl, get that national treasure money. A marriage is a marriage. You know what I'm saying? Well, yeah, that's true. I'm on board. Bold take. Okay, now we're going to move on.

All right, next category. This is Tea Time. The previews Taylor Swift new album. Adjust in your chair. We're going to be here probably for more than four minutes. So we thought she was dropping an album overnight. She actually ended up just doing a single and a music video. The song is called me, capital M, capital E, exclamation point.

So that's something. We had a lot of faith in Taylor Swift for this album. You know what, wait. I just, I just, I just, I just, like my brain just went like, blah, blah, blah. Me, when you said me, capital, M.E, exclamation point, this reminds me of Shania Twain's up with the capital, you, I don't know if the P was capital,

but there was an exclamation point, and that was like, same energy? Poppy, and yes, and I, oh, okay, sorry, this is just blowing my own mind. If you should channel someone, channeled Shania Twain. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So, um, the new song, was our faith misplaced? Like, what do we think?

to claim yes or no yet, right? I mean, there's still many more songs on that album kind of. But this was, yeah, this was like fine. It's fine. It wasn't like bad, but it wasn't good. Okay, what do we think of the music video? It's like the good place on crack. It was just, it was like

a very Taylor Swift video. It was like so done up. It was like so, there's so many Easter eggs planted to get her fans all riled up, which they love to get riled up. Right. And so in the beginning there's like the sequence where she speaks friend with Brendan Uri of Panic the Disco who's also in this.

And it's like very much, this is going to be like So Sean Fantasy and I apologize but it's like very pretty clearly like an umbrellas of Sherborg reference where it's like this. Tea time way in how many of you guys got that reference?

I'm going to explain it. But it's like this French movie that's like rainbow and like has all these musical numbers and like basically like that's she just like very clearly is doing that and it was the inspiration for La La Land, etc. Oh my God, okay.

So noted French expert Liz Kelly please critique Taylor Swift and Brandon Uri's French in the beginning of this Brandon Uri's French is pretty good, pretty convincing. It's hard to argue in French and like for someone who doesn't speak it, which I'm assuming Taylor Swift doesn't. My favorite part was at the very end when she screams like, J-Suis-cois. Yeah, she says like, just-suey.

I was like, I took seven years of French. I don't remember any of it, but I know that's wrong. I'm glad you saying that, Taylor. But that was my bigger takeaway anyway, was that he is so talented. I never went through that phase of him. Were you a Panic of the Disco Girl ever? I mean, I like that

chiming in at the wedding song. Oh, yeah, didn't we all? You know? The most famous song, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I like that one. I fell in. But his voice is extremely good. He's really, really good.

He's a great voice. He's, like, funny. I was watching videos of him, and he's like a funny dude. He's also a good person to have on this song. Like, it fit really well. His voice was perfect for it. Yeah. So my, along with my,

take that like this is bad. I looked into some of her other lead singles and I have faith for the rest of this album because she never picks good lead singles. So I wanted to go through real quick, see if you guys can do this. Because I had them wrong in my head. I was like, I know what the main single was from all these albums. So we have familiar are you with Taylor Swift. Can you participate in this?

Yeah, 100%. We'll try. We'll try. We'll try. Okay. So the first Taylor Swift album, just called Taylor Swift. What do you think was the first lead single off of that album? Tim McGraw.

Ding, ding, ding. Wow. That's great. My theory is that she's gotten worse at this over time. Typogah is good. Not the most famous song from that album, right? You know? Yeah.

Okay, next album, Fearless. Zoe, do you have an answer? No. Okay, neither do I. Fearless. What is a Taylor Swift song? What's like I think? Like early on.

Think like extremely popular. Fear only hope. Oh my God. Okay, fearless. I'm like imagining the album. Baby just say. Oh, that's short. Love story.

That was really? That's a good one. I actually love that song. I'm so sad I didn't get that. That one. That's one where I'm like, this was the single from that album. You picked correctly. This is where we get into iffy territory.

Speak Now. Wasn't Speak Now the first single? It was not. Dear John? It was mine. What? The fact, I don't even know how that song got great. Red.

Which is my personal favorite to our stuff? Oh, my God. Where are you? Is this? I like have bits and pieces. of her songs. I know. It's hard to come up with them.

It's not all too well. Is it? It's not a red. Is it we never get... We're never getting back together? Oh my God. That was a better song than we are never ever getting back together on red. What?

Every other song on red. Yeah. Trouble? Better. Red. Better. All too well. Best Taylor song.

So song ever. 22. Isn't 22 on that album? 22. I love that song. State of grace. Great. Okay.

1989. Shake it off. Okay. This is where I fell off. of Taylor Swift. I was so... I was so... I was over.

Blank Space is a better song. Blank Space is a better song. Bad Blood. I don't like bad blood. Wild. What is it? Wild dreams or whatever? Wild the streams.

Wilder dreams. Out of the woods. I was in like fifth grade when this album came out. Kill me. Oh my God. Shake it off. Not a good song.

It's not the best one. It's not the best one. And then reputation. Look what you made me do. Horrible. Delicates way better. Oh, every other song on my education is better. That one's good.

It's so good. I did something bad is good. So you're saying that she can't pick a single and the rest of the album will be good. Yes. That's my take is like the lead single is never the best song on the album. And so we should retain faith in what's coming. Right. Real quick, we got to talk about some of the Easter eggs in this music video.

They were a lot. Obviously it starts the pink and white snake exploding into butterflies. Love it. She's a new woman now. It won't have the rage. confrontational feel of reputation. They also people are talking about one of the lyrics is I'm the only one of me baby

which is a separation from her Look What You Made Me Do Music Video where there's like a million versions of her. Another separation and then potentially a Tixie Chicks Collab because she said there's a lot of cool chicks out there and she walks by a bunch of baby chicks paintings. Interesting. And that's like such a...

Because they were such a precursor to Taylor Swift. Yes, yes, yes. This is very much. And then she also, this is like not an Easter egg. This is pretty clear. She added a cat to her family because Brandon Uri, like, hands are this kitten, and then all of her fans pieced together, and then I think she confirmed it. Okay.

Yeah, congrats. Also, real quick, Liz skipped my Easter egg that I added here. Someone noted that the lyrics in the song Endgame are reputation precedes me, and reputation precedes me, which is the song. Oh, my God. Wow, that's a good, wow. You know, she puts some thought into that Taylor Swift. My last thing that we have to touch on a Taylor's slip, this is kind of off topic, but has to do with...

I kept waiting for you to delete this, and you didn't. We're going to talk about it. I love this. I love this. Yes. It involves Taylor's shit, then it involves her new whole look and vibe. No, please. I support it.

Gigi, turned 24 this week. Shed a birthday party. The theme was simple. It was denim. Okay? All you have to do is shown a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, and he could show to to Gigi Hadid's party, like, in theme. Okay?

Everybody did. There was tons of A-list there. Hayley Seine fellow was there. Olivia Culpo who just talked about, Ashley Graham, and then like Bella Hadid, a bunch of other people. Everybody showed up in theme. This chick, Taylor Swift, rolls up in a red checkered blazer, a floral dress. I'm looking at it now. And a blue cat purse.

That is actually unbelievable. I love the blue cat purse. I'm all for ignoring a theme if it's like annoying and hard. This is the easiest theme in existence. Everyone in this room is wearing denim right now. And it just shows her commitment to her whatever this new vibe she's going for. It's incredible. It's true.

She's like, fuck your birth. say, I don't care. Exactly. We're transitioning to a new topic, but same person. This is Tea Time Investigates. We are investigating Kailer. Kate, do you care to explain what Kayla is? I would love to explain what Kayla is.

So, Taylor Swift, obviously, her relationship history plays into a lot of her albums and the dialogue around her. She's been with Joe Alwyn for a really long time now. We at Tea Time are extremely bored by Joe Alwyn, and so we would rather talk about this theory that people online have. of about Taylor Swift, and it's that people think that she had an extremely torrid, passionate

romance with Victoria's Secret Supermodel, Carly Claus. Trump-adjacent Carly Claus. And famous tall girl who T-Tenai supports. Extreme tall girl. Also, like, kind of a Taylor Swift doppelganger at something. Yes. Little bit. Kind of weird.

So, they were very famously, like, super good best friends for a while. Yeah. They had a Vogue cover together. Yeah. People on Tumblr have really like done a whole timeline. Like 2013, 2014 is when they were most act together in public. 2015, 2016 is when they kind of like

started like not being seen together as often. Carly Claus had a TV show that like she was having all her famous friends on. It was like movie night. Taylor Swift like didn't go on that. They like kind of just the squad kind of moved away from Carla and Carly moved away from the squad. So there's a theory that they were like romantically involved and then they broke up

and that's what sort of played into this. So Tumblr has all these theories, all these clues. there are these pictures of them where it looks like that were taken from super far away like paparazzi pictures on like a potato phone where the angle makes it look like they're kissing

people like really really buy into this and it looks like they're an arena right this comes out so frequently these blurry iPhone pictures of people at concerts and obviously the celebrities are very far away from the plebeian so it's like so blurry it could be basically two ghosts next to you can't tell anything

but this is how so many celebrities get either like caught or like these theories come about. Yeah. Because you can't tell what's going on. Right. The haircuts, though, are pretty damning. It's damning. It's jamming, okay.

So basically they, reputation had some songs that they thought were about Carly Clause. Yeah. And dress their lyrics that are like, our secret moments in your crowded room. They've got no idea about me and you, which like, people are like, oh, it's better boyfriends. They were like, no, it's not. Right. And again, I personally would love for Taylor Swift to be dating a beautiful Victoria's Secret model as opposed to these boring ass white bread

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, right? I'm all for this just for the record, but this is just like a theory that the internet has. Also, um, dress that also says, say my name and everything just stops. I don't want you like a best friend.

Only bought this dress so you could take it off. Wow. Damn. Thinking about it. Thinking about it. Um, and then a gorgeous is just like, you're so gorgeous.

It makes me so mad. There's nothing I hate more than the one I can't have. And like, does anyone ever thought that about Joe Alwyn? No. No. He's, I mean, he's, he's nice.

Do you care about Joe Allen? No. Okay. Great. Do you, now hearing some of this evidence, do you buy this? Do you want this? Like, what are the teens thinking? Honestly, I want her to be happy.

And, like, whatever is going to work for her because she was, like, a huge part of my growing up. Like, I would listen to her songs on repeat. Yeah. Just up until 1980. But I just wanted to be happy. Like, if that's the way that she's going, like, whatever. Do your thing. That's a good take.

And so they have some theories about the new song. First of all, Brendan Uri came out as pansexual in. paper magazine. So choosing him as people are like, oh, maybe she's just showing that she's like very accepting of the LGBTQ plus community. And then someone on Tumblr, who is a variety of Kaler conspiracy theorists, I've been pointing out that the video is very campy, a lot of rainbows, obviously. She, you know, dresses in a suit, et cetera.

And then they mentioned that in the beginning of the songs, when she and Brendan are like kind of trading lines, she uses like male pronouns. And then she kind of comes out into this rainbow world and start. She's using gender neutral pronouns in the song, so that, like, coincides. God, I love this new Taylor. So, and, yeah, so, you know, just the men's where the, like, gender and neutral pronouns are, like, maybe this could be a signifier that, like, some of these songs in the new album will be about Carly. So, a lot of theories. I personally am just keeping an eye on all this, you know?

I want this for her. I'm just bored with Joe Allen. I will say this. People were comparing, like, there's this Instagram called Diet Prada, and they, like, do a little. a lot of the takedowns of, hey, this is someone else's thing. And they had a side-by-side of Casey Musgraves' Instagram feed and then Taylor Swift's. And it was like, where did one start and the other end? And honestly, I was prepared to engage with that dialogue when I thought this album was going to be good.

And now I'm like, I don't even want to do that,'s Casey. Yeah. All right, stay tuned. Okay, this is the exciting part of the podcast. Zoe, this is your time to shine. Yeah. We are talking about 13 going on 30, which, as Kate said earlier, turned 15 years old this week. I have many questions for you.

You're 13-year-old. About to be 14 next week. So it's like a good recap for like what it is to be 13 years old. And also, what are your thoughts on being 30? So we can sound just like recap of the movie. You like this movie, right? I love this movie. Okay.

It's great rom-com. It's so great. It's really good. Jennifer Garner, amazing. Mark Ruffalo. Also, it's hard to not like. movies that she's in. She's just such a great character in everyone.

People's most beautiful woman this week. Yeah, there we go. Jennifer Garner. She's thriving. And people you know still, I'm sure, like Ashley Benson, which was part of the six chicks, you know her she was in. She's like a teen idol, pretty little liars. Yes.

And thank you. And then Brie Larson, I don't want to talk about Avengers, but, you know, she's in that is also one of the six chicks. Okay. Do you guys have any thoughts before? I have some rapid fire questions for Zoe, but we can have them. Yeah, go for it. We're not going to do any better than that.

So go for it. Okay, Zoe. Yes. Is 7 minutes in heaven still a thing? No, that is not a thing. It's like more of truth or dare kind of now. And it's Smash Your Pass, which is like I don't participate in that. I know.

It's like there's some really rowdy eighth graders. Wow. Okay, so that's what Jennifer Garner. She was in the eighth grade when this was happening. Okay. I feel like there's so, there's relevant terms in the movie, but it's like to see how it's evolved over 15 years is like insane to me. Wow.

That's so interesting. And even she was, she's acting as a. if she was 30 when this came out. Right. Like, it's even further dated. Right. Okay. Does the cool girl, like the six chicks also exist today? I think it's more sneaky now, and it's like there's not an established click, at least

at my school, because I go to like a very open-minded school. But, like, if I were to go to a public school, maybe I'd see more of that. But as of right now, I feel like there is that it girl at every school. Yeah. And there's definitely people that, like, circulate around them. Yeah. I don't think it's, like, established. like with a name, like six to six.

Okay, nobody labels themselves like that. Yeah, there's not a label. Honestly, I kind of feel like, I mean, we had very different high school experiences, but I feel like that wasn't even really a thing when I was in high school. Yeah. It's kind of got to a point where, like, people have so many different interests, and, like, you can find people to be interested in whatever you're interested in.

Yeah, definitely. There were just so many different groups, like, nobody. Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys see 21 Jump Street, the new one with... Yes. So it was, it came out a couple years ago, so even now, it's like even further of all. But the whole point when they went back to high school was that the coolest people,

like recycle, they're in the theater, they care about like everything. And that's, I feel like what it still is right now. Yeah, definitely. At least I'm at school. Yeah. Is there a Tom Tom at your school? No names, obviously, but, you know, the main bee? There's some people that try to be the TomTom, but I feel like it just like doesn't

work like that. Okay. Interesting. Do you want to be 30, flirty and thriving? Like, is that on your worst day? Like, girls are mean, boys are stupid? Homework sucks. Like, are you like, would you ever go into your closet and be like, 30?

30 and thriving. Honestly, I feel like if it was like a really hard day, maybe. Yeah. But I just don't think that's something that's appealing to me because like I don't know many 30-year-olds. And I don't know like the life of a 30-year-old. So if that was something that was appealing to me, maybe I'd go into my closet and do that. Yeah. As of right now, I know that it's.

You just like living your life as is. Yeah. That's fine. What age would you like want to be? Like when you're like, oh, I'm talking. to be a 13 year old, like, I'm tired of homework, whatever. If you're like, oh, just for one day, like, I want to be, like, I mean, that's hard because this sounds bad, but, like, maybe, like, early 20s,

just because I know that's, like, the stage when people are, like, figuring themselves out. And, like, that's when you start your life. Because, like, I have Kyle. He's my cousin. He's 25 now. And, like, when he was 22, it was, like, he was still figuring. Oh, yeah. He's got a shit together now.

We have it all figured. out. Don't let anyone tell you Denny differently. Okay. The other thing I want to talk about, so like, let's say you go into your closet, this fairy dust comes on to you, and you get to be 30 years old, okay? So Zoe Simmons is now 30. Where are you living? Like this is like your, this was Jennifer Garner's like dream scenario, right? She got her dream job or dream apartment or dreamy boyfriend. Okay, so where are you living, Zoe? That's so hard. I've been to New York and where she ended up. Yeah. I don't love New York. I think it's kind of smelly and it's really loud.

It's kind of smelly, yeah. And I'm like more of like a, I like L.A. because it's very, like, low-key, I guess, and it's, like, nice vibes. Maybe Laguna Beach, that'd be the dream. Ooh, that's nice. Okay. Do you have a dream job that, like, you wake up and you're doing it? I mean, not yet. Okay.

But definitely is something to do with, like, entertainment and stuff like that. Nice. Do you have, like, a Maddie-Slas Mark Gruffalo equivalent? Like, someone who your best friend with now, maybe you ditch to the curb when the people's, like, invite you in and then he ended up doing cool things too. I definitely have guy best friends but it's like I've had a best friend since I was super young like maybe

second grade and I could never picture myself with him ever. Really? You don't see each other married like... No way. Because it's like that almost sounds like incest to me because I've grown up with him and he's super annoying

sometimes and it's like I know that about him because he's like almost my brother Right. So it's like impossible to picture myself with him because like Jenna and Mark Grufflow, they had such a relationship that was like you could tell that they were flirting and there was tension there. Yeah. And that he had always liked her. She didn't really see it. She was oblivious to it.

Yeah. I feel like I don't have to that with anyone else. Maybe in high school. Yeah. But like not right now. That is an interesting part of the movie like because theoretically at the very end, she goes back to 13 and then she like kisses Maddie on in her birthday brain. And then they just spend the rest of their lives together. Yeah.

And that's like it. But I'm missing that like warpole of everything that happens in between. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like is there another guy? Like what happened? They got to explore them.

Maybe in college you like take a break. Then they come back together and that's where like the whole dream house ends. Is there a pop rocks equivalent? Like a snack that like is really cool now that like in 50, whenever 15 years from now, 17 years from now. Like a candy or that type of snack? Yeah. Where it's like you and your best friend share it. It's an after school special like you're watching TV and pop open.

no, you're very healthy. I'm sure it's like celery sticks. I mean, like, for everyone, I have, like, a different snack with, like, my closest friends. We'll honestly just go to CVS and, like, pick out a bunch of chips. Okay. I feel like chips are the equivalent to that or, like, Nutella. Honestly, my Nutella. I could definitely, like, take that by a spoon and just hang out my friends with my friends. That's a really good answer.

That's very true. I've tried Razzles, and I did not understand, like, how they're so great. Razzles are kind of, they're chalky and weird. They're weird. Newtel is the right answer. That's great thing. I definitely went out and bought Razzles after I saw the movie and being like, this is going to be so good.

I know. It was an underwhelming experience. It's such high hopes. Okay, this would be maybe hard for you to think about because there's so many songs that there ever has different views. But you know what Jennifer Garner in the movie? She's at that horrible poise party. And her job is to like turn it around, turns on thriller.

And everyone who's her age at that party starts dancing. They all know the moves. Like, this is something that brings the crowd. together. What is a song where right now, 2019, you're 13 years old, where you could turn it on like when you're 30 and everyone will be like, hell yeah, this is our jam, like, as a teenager. Is there a song of that? I mean, I feel like music is so bad right now. Like, I'm so disappointed with, yeah, yeah. Because, like, all of the 13-year-olds, or at least kids my age, like, enjoy the music, like, sicko mode. Yeah. So I feel like if someone put that on in 15 years, people would be going in

insane, like at a party. Interesting. I just... I love real music and, like, music that I can actually, like, cry to. Huh. But, so I kind of, like, take the direction to older music, usually with my dad. Like, Pop Rocks is my favorite station, so I listen to that a lot. Gotcha.

But I feel like if someone put on, like, Sicko Mode or some Travis Scott song or something like that, everyone would be going insane. Interesting. Yeah, I guess... I was thinking about, like, what songs, like, when, like, my high school prom or something that came on or like my middle school on the big one when I were in middle school was like soldier boy

yes and then that has a real dance yeah that was like the equivalent that I came up with it's just everyone like starts going insane it's actually like if someone played it in the hallway of my school everyone would come out of class and literally just like start yeah maybe that's so funny I don't know what that is you don't know what sycamode is oh wow what

a hunch fell over the room staring at me okay moving on you looked at that later Okay, my last question is going to be kind of difficult, but just like, this is, just for a moment, expand your brain. The galaxy brain. Let's say, like, let's say your dream job was to be, like, the editor-in-cheaper, head of the ringer.com. Like, Jennifer Garner's dream is to be the head, like, the executive editor. It's the Zoe Simmons media group.

Yes. Think about it like that, okay? And then, you know how at the very end, she completely redesigns the magazine, and she goes, completely different look. It's basically whatever Jennifer Garner, like, dreams up. Okay. So you're now in charge of the. ringer.com. Oh, boy.

Okay, you can completely redesign it. Uh-huh. What does, like, the ringer.com homepage look like? Like, what are we talking about? Is it, like, pink? Is it blue? Like, what's going on? Does it look like Tumblr?

I like that. Okay. So, my dad has a lot of green within the ringer, and that's, like, not my vibe at all. Ooh, not pro-green. It's like dark green, I don't know. It just gives me... What color would you do?

Honestly, this is going to sound basic, but, like, maybe some sort of, of light gray kind of minimalist. Yeah, very minimalist, very simplistic. But it would have like cool fonts. It'd be like light gray would have some sort of like gold line like rose gold

and then like cut off with operation high end. And then it'll be like Chris Evans' beard. Maybe even some marble or something. Ooh. But I feel like that's

Pinterest. Yeah, definitely. That's totally Totally my a aesthetic, although it sounds like very basic. So that are there still like sports articles on this website? Are we talking about YouTube? Sport banning sports? Yeah. Sports is gone.

I love sports, but it's gone. Okay. Hell yeah. Yes, it's so too, Zoe. Okay, so what are we talking about? Influencers, YouTube, what? Definitely. Okay.

I mean, I would want to put it on the website, like my most interesting things that I find, like on Instagram, like on the Explore page. I feel like that. I feel like that's so interesting. And it's like things that I'm interested in and kids my age are interested. in. And when I'm as old as Jennifer Garner is, when she's like 30, I feel like my generation would still kind of be like involved with that sort of interest because that's how we grew up and that's what we grew up with. Yeah. So probably would be like the basically Instagram

Explorer page, but like all the most interesting articles and facts that I find blown out. Yeah. It feels like we should just redesign this. I know. Seriously. Oh my God. It feels pretty similar here. You had one last question about the wrong room. Well, everyone keeps, I know you have thoughts on Noah Centeno. Uh-huh. How do you feel, everyone keeps comparing him to Mark Grufflo? How do you feel watching this movie with Mark Ruffalo having just watched the perfect date with Noah Cincinnati?

I think they're such similar actors. Yeah. And because I love Mark Ruffalo, I think he's just great. Like, I've loved every movie that he's been in. And I feel the same way about Noah Centineo. I think he's so adorable, like, despite the fact that he's good looking. Like, he has such an adorable personality. Yeah.

So I think they're very similar. Yeah. Do you want them to like be in a movie together, like father and son? That would be the perfect movie. I agree. I'm all for it. Do you think they have equal amounts of like charisma on screen and like chemistry? They both have such similar attitudes. Yeah. They both have such like playful charm. Yeah, definitely. So I'd love to see that.

I have a question that I think like so Noah Centenio is 23 or 22. And we technically are closer to his age than you are. For some reason, like, I feel grody about, like, crushing on him. I'm like, this is more of, like, Zoe's thing. Like, he's more for Zoe's age. Is it weird? Like, do you, like, watching a rom-com like this and the guy's 22, playing a high schooler so it's more understandable, I feel like you have more authority to like him than all of us do?

Mm-hmm. Do you agree with that? In a sense. Yeah. Because, like, for me, he's a celebrity crush because I can, like, I can see him as a person, like, being that ideal, like, high schooler. Yeah. Because that's my mindset right now.

It's like I'm going into high school. Like, I want there to be that person for me. Yeah, sure. I feel like that's the mindset that like, I mean, you could go into like, it's society, telling women, blah, blah. But like, I feel like a lot of women like have like celebrity crushes that are like slightly older than them. Yeah. We're over here with like the Chris's and she's over here with Tom Holland and no sense today.

We're in their 20s. Yeah. And it feels weird because we are very close to his age, but it's obvious because he's playing high schools. I'm like, I don't want to like crush on this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's part of it for sure.

in the perfect date. It could also just be, because, like, you guys have already gone through that. Right. And you've already seen that. And it's, like, I haven't. So it's, like, almost the ideal rather than, like, you already know. It's, like, an aspirational crush where it's, like, this is my next stage in life. And it's more timely for me because he's in, like, movies that are based off of circumstances that I'm going to be facing.

Rather than circumstances that you guys have already been. Yeah, and we've been through and were like, A, no, a centenio doesn't exist. But the dirt on the football team is, like, not all these other great things. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Okay, those are great, great, and I cannot wait to redesign the ringer dark. Oh, yeah.

Right, next category. Evan. Great. He's on it, you guys. He's gotten better. We are ending, as usual, with T-Times. So it's unanswerable question of the week. Kate and I both have one.

But, Zellie, please, chime in. Our whole job is, like, try to answer these questions, but it cannot be done. So just let us know your thoughts. You go first. This category has been very cosmetic lately. Last week we talked about veneers. We talked about eyebrows the week before. I need to talk about Sean Mendez,

who is out here to Lyon. about his facial routine. So, you know, we're varying to skincare routines. A lot of people really are these days. And Sean Mendoz, great skin. Sure. And so he was doing a Q&A. And first of all, how do you feel about Sean Mendoza?

I love Sean Mendes. Okay, great. I'm a complete Sean Mendes, but we're pro. We're pro. I do like that. He's 20. Just for the record. He also was like a little young for us, but it's fine.

Okay, so he said, the fan said, your skin always looks perfect. What's your skincare routine? And he said, I'm not lying when I tell you guys, I don't wash my face. He goes, I meditate a lot. I think skin is very based on how you're feeling. You could rub dirt on your face, and if you're happy, you won't break out.

Okay. Sure, Mendez. I'm about to up and walk out of this fucking room. Unbelievable. I'm like, okay, first of all, that's just a flat out life. Like, you clearly, his pores are non-existent. You clearly have a skin caretine. Second of all, don't spread this misinformation.

No matter how long I meditate, like I'm not going to get rid of it. The teens are going to be accurate. And yeah, being like, okay, just one more, Mende. And then it will be fine. You know what I mean? Zoe, don't listen to Tomlin. Zoe, you think he's lying, right? There's got to be.

There's no way. Literally no way. Thank you. All right. Last short question is, with Moon by Kendall Jenner out this week and with Kai Brow by Kylie Jenner also out this week.

So, when will the madness end? So to take stock of this whole clan, Kylie Jenner has Kylie Cosmetics a billion dollar. We talked about that enough. Kim Kardashian has her makeup and fragrance and now sunglasses line. Courtney Kardashian has

Push. Oh my gosh. She always good Americans, so that left Kendall, because Rob has his socks, and then Kendall has nothing. So she decided to dedicate her time and ever beyond her proactive line to toothpaste. So she has collaborated and, like, co-founded this company called Moon. And it basically is, like, making toothpaste, like, cool and artsy. No.

It's all black, and it's, like, very minimalist. But it's in with your aesthetic. Definitely my aesthetic, but that's not okay. Yeah, so she has a toothpaste, she has flossie material, she also has the Kendall Jenner teeth whitening pen. With her name on it. With her name on it. So I was reading in an interview and Allure about this and the CEO was saying like, before working with Jenner, it was more of an idea of a teeth whitening pen. And then Kendall brought in the clicking system, how it looks, the shape, and how can go in and out of her clutch easily?

And I'm like, thank God for Kendall. We wouldn't have had this otherwise. How the hell? We were going to wheel it for a mrs. room to real. If I can figure out that click system without that brain. You know what I mean?

Anyway, I'm ready for the madness to end. Do you like them? I mean, I'm fine with them. They're there, but like I'm not obsessed with them. I feel like as a multi-million dollar influencer, I don't know why she would put her time into toothpaste. And flossing. It's like she's my favorite one too out of all of them

because she's like the most natural in my opinion. I think the consensus is for young people too. Yeah. But. This is moon. looking at it. And there's like the, she's like really into the aesthetic. Kendall basically wanted it to be cool for it to be on your countertop because toothpaste is, I guess, is so lame. Which I didn't know. I walk in about them from like, oh my God,

they have toothpaste out. That's insane. It's so embarrassing for them. So Zoe, you're not in or out. You're just, you respect them as an entity. Yeah, because I feel like they have created an empire with like, I know Chris didn't come from much. And she kind of like created all this, which I respect her for that. Yeah, she's an evil genius. Yeah. But like, I don't know. I just, I don't follow them like. That's for the best. As someone like elbows deep in this whole situation,

stay out. You're too far gone. We got to stay out as we came. Okay, that's a wrap on this week's tea time. It was a long one. Thank you so much Zoe for coming out. Thank you for having me. Not a privilege to have you, really.

We need the young boys. We can be out of touch as we now know with all the Chris stuff. I know. Oh my God. This is like mind-blowing. The re-disters of the ringer starts now, you're hurting her first. For us coming. All right.

This has been Tea Time. I'm Liz Kelly. Hallowell. And I'm Amelia Bada. And that's Zoe Simmons. Woo!