The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway - Private School Tradeoffs, Father-Son Dynamics, and Should You Raise a Kid in Today’s America?

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Scott breaks down whether private school is worth the cost. He then offers thoughts on how women can shape father-son relationships and wraps up with discussing whether it’s still a good idea to rai...se children in today’s America. Want to be featured in a future episode? Send a voice recording to officehours@profgmedia.com, or drop your question in the r/ScottGalloway subreddit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:04 question for next time, you can send a voice recording to officehoursatprojectdbmedia.com. Again, that's officehoursatprojectdbmedia.com. Or if you prefer to ask on Reddit, post your question on the Scott Galloway subreddit, and we just might feature on our next episode. What a thrill. First question, I am not seen around these questions. Hi, Professor Galloway. My question is, is it worth the money to send our elementary school aged kids to private school? We live in a major city with a noticeably declining quality in the public education system. It is starved for resources and we find ourselves signing up for tutoring and other extracurricular activities to bolster our kids learning in math, science, and
Starting point is 00:02:49 the arts with a high price tag and a huge time commitment outside of school hours. Private school would cost approximately 18% of our after-tax income, which is a significant investment. In your opinion, is it worth it, or would it serve our kids better to invest that money on their behalf? Looking forward to your answer. Anonymous, I love this question, and I also very much appreciate,
Starting point is 00:03:18 I would have asked you a series of questions and you answered one of them. And a lot of this comes down to how much money you have. Private schools, good private schools, on average are better than the average public school. They have better funding, they have more engaged parents, higher income people tend to have more or fewer single parent households so they can be engaged. They have more resources. I mean, you know, they're better.
Starting point is 00:03:40 I went through public school all the way through graduate school and it changed my life and I think of myself as being very engaged in the public school system and yet I send my kids to private school because when it comes to your own kids you want to find the best option possible regardless of your social value so to speak. cost roughly $13,000. There's a lot of evidence that private schools provide a worthwhile education. On average, private school students score higher on the SAT than students at public schools. Additionally, the student to teacher ratio at private schools is 12 and a half students per teacher, lower than what is 15 and a half at public schools. By the way, I had 33 kids in my classes at Fairburn,
Starting point is 00:04:21 then Emerson, then University High School. Those studies probably have a little bit of bias if you normalize for, like if you sent a higher income kid into a public school, I don't know how they do. Anyways, this is my view on it, and this is a deeply personal decision. A lot of the data I've read is the following, that the best school you can send your kid,
Starting point is 00:04:42 especially when they're young, to, is the school that is the closest to your home. And that, a couple things. One, the teacher is more important than the school. And that is if you have a mediocre teacher at a great school, your kid is gonna have worse outcomes than if you have a great teacher at a mediocre school. So trying to figure out,
Starting point is 00:05:00 and sometimes you're not gonna have any influence over this, who the best teacher in that grade is and advocate to get your kid into that class is the key. School that is closest to your home, why? Because that additional time, one of the reasons, we're thinking of moving back to Florida or back to the US. I wanna move back, because I'm fucking horrified
Starting point is 00:05:20 about what's going on and I've been totally inspired by a couple of CEOs I work with who returned to Israel after October the 7th. So I want to go back in the fight. Different talk show, different talk show. So I'm going back where I'm going to be moving back to the U.S. and been thinking about, as is today, today's world, you know, when my parents moved, it was just like, oh, we're moving tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:05:39 And this is the address of the school. And I'd get on my Schwinn bike and go to the school for the first day in the middle of the year. Now everything is about the wonder children, right? Our little princes. And so where we live in the US is a function of simply where we think would be best for my 14-year-old who's about to go into the ninth grade.
Starting point is 00:05:59 And we decided that Florida, where I would, if I could choose anywhere, I would go back in Florida because I love the weather there, I love our house there, but the school we would send our 14 year old to would be a 45 minute plus community choice. So that's an additional hour and a half. And the stuff I've read has said that if you take that hour and a half, and there are literally no options where we live, if you took that hour and a half and you invested it in playtime, study time, time with your parents, sleep, that the kid, that makes up for a lot of underfunded schooling, so to speak.
Starting point is 00:06:29 So one is have a bias towards sending your kid toward the local school. My snap judgment, and again, I think you want to talk to a bunch of people, but based on what you told me, if this is going to be 18% of your after-tax income, I probably would not do it. And that is I would probably send your kid to the local school or the public school because that's a real strain on the finances of your family, which leads to strains on your mental wellbeing,
Starting point is 00:06:57 which leads to stress and anxiety that can cause, put pressure on the marriage, and then the kid will absorb that anxiety. So one of my biggest sources of anxiety, I went to not very good schools, but the biggest source of anxiety in my life was my parents not getting along. And then my parents getting divorced and my mom not having enough money and her anxiety. So I think that given the financial situation you're in, sending them to the closest public school is the way to go. And just to give you some sense, and them to the closest public school, is the way to go. And just to give you some sense, and I love the idea,
Starting point is 00:07:29 if you were, if you have the discipline to put that $13,000 a year you'd be spending on private school into a low cost ETF from Vanguard or Fidelity or Schwab, and you invest that every year for 17 years before they go to college, and then you don't touch it until they're 35, assume you screwed up. Something that'll ease the pain of that kid is that when they're 35,
Starting point is 00:07:51 you can cut them a check for approximately one and a quarter million dollars. So that should ease their pain. In sum, if you're actually disciplined enough to take that money and invest it on behalf of your child in low-cost index funds and then not touch it until they're 35, I would argue that you're going to be able to probably close any deficiency gap.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Best of luck to yours, and I am jealous I wish I had a four or a five-year-old at home. Our second question comes from Smallbox6226 on Reddit. They say, You often speak on the meaning you draw from the relationship with your son. I am curious, what role do you think a woman has on shaping and ultimately strengthening that type of father-son relationship? That's a really thoughtful question. God, I love that question because I really hadn't thought about it.
Starting point is 00:08:39 So I think a lot about the way I strengthen the relationship my sons are gonna have with their wives and other women is to be as kind and as generous, and quite frankly, as loving as I can with my partner. I want them to physically see how much I like her and I'm rooting for her and how much I respect her. I just think that, I think they will, a lot of my shortcomings as a man, especially when I was a younger man with relationships, romantic relationships, and I was never mean,
Starting point is 00:09:10 I was never hostile towards women, but I saw relationships with friends, with business partners, and my romantic relationships as a transaction. And I constantly assess, am I getting more out of this than I'm giving? And if I'm not And I constantly assess, am I getting more out of this than I'm giving?
Starting point is 00:09:27 And if I'm not, I want out, I wanna break up, or I wanna divorce. And that is the wrong way to approach relationships with anybody, much less your, quote unquote, partner, your romantic partner. And as I've gotten older, I realized that some of that is just basic lack of character on my part. I can't blame that on anyone.
Starting point is 00:09:47 And I'd like to think I've mostly tried to address that, but I think a lot of it was I was modeling my father who was not good to my mother. I mean, just not good to her. I always basically saw my mom as a vessel for making his life better, and that's it. There was no generosity. There was no doing more than he needed to do.
Starting point is 00:10:08 And moments when he could have made my mom and my life much easier, he did not. He chose to not, because it would have cost him some money or some time or some energy. So I'm constantly thinking about how do I improve their future relationships by trying to be better to their mom.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Even in divorce, I think it's really important to show a lot of respect and kindness and even if you can, gentleness to your ex. I think your kids pick up on that. Anyway, it's not what you asked. I'll go back to my dad's third wife, Linda. It would be easy to demonize the woman that my dad left my mom for,
Starting point is 00:10:44 but she's a really good woman. And she used to force my dad to spend more time with me. She used to kind of behind the scenes say, my dad would be like, well, I'm going golfing today. See about selfish asshole. But she would say, all right, you're taking him with you. And he would put up a fight and she'd be like, no, you're taking him with you.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Keep in mind, I was not her biological son, but she just had certain values around parenting. So not that your husband doesn't maybe have the inclination to do that, maybe does, but I generally find that women have much stronger organizational capabilities, have a better grasp of the understanding of the calendar. And what my partner does is she will say, I love spending, I love doing vacations alone
Starting point is 00:11:29 with each of my boys. I find the dynamics entirely different when they're not together and we're not with the whole family. So I absolutely, something I try and do at least once a year and I try and do it twice a year is I take vacations with each of my sons individually. So make that a rule if you can
Starting point is 00:11:44 and then help your husband organize those trips and plan ahead and put dates on the calendar because there is a lot of logistics and organization. I think it helps just in general to be very loving and affectionate around your kids and to your partner and encourage also something that I don't think, sometimes we haven't been very good at, is sometimes we undermine each other's parenting and we get into arguments in front of our kids
Starting point is 00:12:11 around how each of us parenting, I think you have to have a united front. And I also think it's okay to occasionally bring in dad for certain aspects of discipline or parenting, but really try and show a united front and support for one another in front of the kids. Attempt to support, foment, and encourage guy time between the dad and the kid,
Starting point is 00:12:37 where the father and his sons individually get to spend a lot of time together. And I'm sure there's other better things, but I can't think of them. But just the fact you're even thinking that way means that you're raising your sons in really loving, thoughtful households. And I'm jealous. I'd like to go back.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I didn't realize how fast it was going to go. Where does the time go? We'll be right back after a quick break. Support for this show comes from Virgin Atlantic. Let's talk about flying. I do it, you do it, we all do it. But it really comes down to how we do it. When you fly Virgin Atlantic, they make it a memorable trip right from the moment you check in. On board, you'll find everything you need to relax, recharge, or carry on working.
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Starting point is 00:15:37 LPL Financial, member FINRA, SIPC, no strategy assures success or protects against loss. Investing involves risk, including possible loss of principle. Welcome back. Our final question also comes from Reddit user ResidentTraffic333. And ResidentTraffic333 and ResidentTraffic333 asks, Hi Professor G. Simple question, but not easy to answer. Thinking about the second and third order effects of everything Trump is doing to America's institutions, brand, debt, and innovation, would you have a child in America right now? Not only do
Starting point is 00:16:24 I fear American values are far from what they should be, the decade plus ramifications of what's happening now have me questioning our place in the world for the next generations. Matt in Brooklyn Oh, hi, Matt in Brooklyn. Should you have kids? Oh, yeah. America has survived much worse than this. America was not that long ago rounding up people because they were of Japanese descent and putting them in camps. I mean, America went to war with the south. There's been protectionism, nativism, nationalism. We've absolutely had, you know, as bad or worse
Starting point is 00:17:03 moments than this. And I don't think the question is thinking about the future of America or anything like that. I think the question is, are you ready to have kids? I'm not sure I said right. I'm not sure you're ever, quote unquote, ready. But do you have a certain level of economic security? I think that's important. Otherwise, you're going to be just so stressed out. And do you have a competent partner? And if you don't have a competent partner and you've decided to have kids anyways, do you have a support network?
Starting point is 00:17:28 Because they really does take a village and it takes a lot of time, but, oh, for God's sakes, yeah, I have kids. One, kids are really important for the future of the species for obvious reasons. But also there's this myth that the population growth is putting too big attacks on our national resources. I think that's bullshit. I think there was a kind of population bomb narrative fomented in the 70s that we were gonna,
Starting point is 00:17:52 the earth was gonna collapse on itself because of a strain on national resources. And if you look at climate change, the two big puffs of carbon into the air have been the industrialization of China and the automobile ization of America, if you will. So those were energy and lifestyle choices. And actually the nations with the biggest
Starting point is 00:18:11 population growth have the lowest carbon footprint. In addition, world hunger and poverty have been inversely correlated to population growth because generally speaking, what we need is more brains. Now, is there a limit? Sure there is. We could fit the entire world's population into New York state.
Starting point is 00:18:27 And if you fly over the United States, you see that 98% of the flight, there's no sign of life anywhere. So I've just never thought about this population narrative. You have 10 babies, eight are good citizens, one is a fuck up and one is a genius. And the one genius solves more problems than the fuck up creates. So I think population growth is a genius. And the one genius solves more problems
Starting point is 00:18:45 than the fuck up creates. So I think population growth is accretive to the world. And if you look at economies, basically their GDP growth is dependent upon how many young people they have to support old people. Is there a limit? Yes, we're a long way for that. In addition to selfishly,
Starting point is 00:19:00 if you're blessed with some level of economic security, you don't have to be a baller. You just have to be someone who says, okay, if we have a kid, do we have jobs that aren't too fucking stressful, such that we can have a home and send our kid to a good public school or a private school, take a vacation once a year,
Starting point is 00:19:16 absorb medical costs? And by the way, that's a lot of money now, but if you're blessed and you and your partner have that, and you have a competent partner, just selfishly have kids. I didn't want kids. I really, I was done. I'm like, that's it.
Starting point is 00:19:31 My swimmers are gonna have to find other places to swim or I don't know what the right analogy was, but I did not wanna have children. And I fell very much in love with someone and she basically said, oh, we're having kids. And I said, well, I'm not having kids. And she said, oh, well then I'm leaving. I'm like, well, we're having kids. So anyway, and I didn't enjoy it the first two or three
Starting point is 00:19:49 years. Men will pretend to enjoy it or maybe some men do. I did not. All I could think about was just keeping these things away from a body of water and how much like making up excuses so I didn't have to be around them. But what I found, there's a message or there's a line in that show where Frazier says you fall in love with your kids and that is you don't immediately love them. I didn't. When the kid came out I'm like what is this alien covered in blood and crap all over it and I didn't feel any sort of sense. I felt actually fear and shame because at the time I was financially strained. But I do think there's something to the fact that or at least
Starting point is 00:20:24 with men or what I've found, is that you fall in love with this kid. And what I have found is I'm older and I'm starting to sense my own mortality and reflect on my life and what I want to accomplish. Literally for the first time in my life, I have purpose. I mean, literally, I've never felt a sense of purpose before.
Starting point is 00:20:40 My sense of, the closest thing I had to purpose was how do I get more money so I can have nicer shit, better experiences and date hotter women? That was my purpose. And also take care of my mom. My sense of the closest thing I had to purpose was how do I get more money so I can have nicer shit better Experiences and date hotter women that was my purpose and also take care of my mom I wasn't concerned with being a good person And that was kind of an empty existence now as far as empty existences go it was pretty good living in New York with a little bit of money, but Where I have moved to now and it wasn't a decision. It's just sort of happened I know my purpose my purpose is to raise loving, patriotic men.
Starting point is 00:21:06 And it gives me just a sense of pride. I enjoy it. I think I'm good at it. And I know that as I get towards the end, that will have given me a sense of like, I have checked a really important box. And I've never gotten anything like that from anywhere else. So if again, if you are blessed with some
Starting point is 00:21:25 economic security or trajectory, a support system and or a competent partner, oh my god, there is nothing. What a blessing. That's all for this episode. If you'd like to submit a question, please email a voice recording to office hours of private two media.com. Again, that's office hours of private two media. media comm or if you prefer to ask on reddit Just post your question on the skygalloway subreddit and we just might feature it in an upcoming episode This episode was produced by Jennifer Sanchez. Our intern is Dan Shalon. Drew Burrows is our technical director. Thank you for listening to the PropG pod from the Vox Media Podcast Network.
Starting point is 00:22:10 We will catch you on Saturday for No Mercy No Malice, as read by George Hahn. And please follow our PropG Markets pod wherever you get your pods for new episodes every Monday and Thursday.

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