The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway - The Attention Graph
Episode Date: February 11, 2021Dr. Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas, the co-authors of Humor, Seriously: why humor is a secret weapon in business and life, join Scott to discuss their research, the four humor styles they’ve iden...tified, and how to incorporate more levity into your workday. Jennifer and Noami also teach Humor: Serious Business at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Follow Jennifer and Naomi on Twitter, @aaker and @nbagdonas. (11:44) Check out their TedTalk here. Scott opens with his thoughts on Apple’s move into mobility. This Week’s Office Hours (44:03): investing in the post-COVID family (44:30), how the Big Four consulting firms can move into recurring revenue (51:27), and finding meaning within your work (56:46). Have a question for Scott? Email a voice recording to officehours@section4.com. Algebra of Happiness: Who is in your kitchen cabinet? (62:28) Additional Music: https://www.davidcuttermusic.com / @dcuttermusic Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Episode 48, the atomic number of cadmium.
48 is the total number of minutes in a full NBA game.
True story, I tried out for the football team at UCLA
and the notes came back small, but slow.
Let's make this podcast huge, but quick.
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go! Welcome to the 48th episode of The Prov G Show.
In today's episode, we speak with Jennifer Ocker, the General Atlantic Professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business,
and Naomi Bagdonis, a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and an executive coach.
They are the co-authors of Humor, Seriously, Why Humor is a Secret Weapon in Business and Life. We discuss their research
from their book, the four humor styles they've identified, and tips you can try,
tips you can try to be funny at work. That's a fucking landmine. Anyways, okay, what's happening?
The new circling apple and its search for a manufacturing partner to create the Apple car has me thinking the dog is walking into a room and wondering why
he is in that room and cocking his head and wondering, okay, when is dinner? But more than
that, more than that, why are they moving into mobility, specifically with autonomous vehicles?
Okay, so according to the reporting, Apple was in talks with Hyundai
and its affiliate Kia Motors
to manufacture the self-driving electric Apple car,
Project Titan.
However, Hyundai and Kia denied the partnership,
causing Kia's stock to decline nearly 15%.
That's like when someone accuses you
of dating the hottest guy or gal or whatever.
Just go with it.
Just go with it.
Clearing 5.4 billion off its market value,
according to CNN, and Hyundai stock fell 6%. Apple has declined to comment about the matter.
But what we do know is that Apple's move into mobility has been a project in the making at
least since 2014, but supposedly it was shelved. So what is going on here and what is the
bigger learning behind the Apple car? So first off, I do think that they decided to go
into, or we're thinking about a car mostly as a vanity project, I would imagine, of Johnny Ive.
Anyone who's into design, especially get a bunch of dudes together, and let's be honest,
most of the senior management is dude, and they think, well, you could do a car. And to be clear,
to be clear, Apple's brand is so strong that they would make immediate inroads in the automobile
sector. Pretty much,
they come out with a refrigerator, they come out with a toaster, they come out with a car,
and I am first in line, first in line. Vaccines and an Apple car or any sort of Apple appliance,
I am first in line. But what's going on here? How do we value this? Why did they decide to reignite
this process? I think it's a couple
things. One, 850 billion, specifically, that is Tesla's market capitalization. And I think
Apple looks at that and says, okay, if they can get $850 billion market capitalization,
they used to look at cars and think, wait, it's a shitty business. Total market capitalization
of about 100 billion across all the biggest automobile manufacturers. And then Tesla comes along, excites the world and says to the world, okay, automobiles aren't 3,500 pound amalgams of
steel, plastic, and glass that require supply chain complexity and manufacturing. That's a
low margin shitty business only worth a hundred billion dollars globally. No, no, it's a software
business, right? It's less about brakes and transmission, and it's more about getting an update wirelessly
that can make your car more efficient or the operating system in the car.
And I was even thinking about, I own a Tesla, and I like to tell people that because it
says, hey, I'm groovy and I'm successful.
But what is a Tesla when you're in the car?
I actually don't think the design is that beautiful on the Tesla.
I don't think the touch points are that great, but the operating system and the underlying technology, it's just a
better product. It is a technology product and Tesla is now being valued as a technology company
or a software company or a SaaS company or something that just makes absolutely no
fucking sense. But anyways, what's going on here? Simply put, I think Apple, iOS versus Android is sort
of the battle of the century. And that is, it's a battle for the attention graph of the world's
GDP. What do I mean by that? Take the seven and a half billion people on this planet, times it by
their income, right? So the reality is getting the attention or getting time in the attention
graph of somebody who spends $100,000 a year is 10 times more valuable than getting the attention or getting time in the attention graph of somebody who spends $100,000
a year is 10 times more valuable than getting the attention graph of somebody or getting a piece of
the attention graph of someone who makes $10,000 a year. So we add all this up. We take the population
times their spending, and then we divide it by their attention graph. And that's the value
of an incremental minute on that attention graph. So iOS has the attention or is the operating system for the 1 billion wealthiest consumers
on the planet.
And what Apple now is in the business of is saying, okay, how do I grab more minutes in
the day and then monetize it with apps or different services?
That if I can get more people staring at iOS more often, I will figure out a way
to monetize it, even if it's getting them to download the Netflix app, which I take a 30%
toll on, on first-year commissions, even if it's going after Mark Zuckerberg for the ad model,
such that we move more to a subscription model across more of the ecosystem, which Apple benefits
from because they take a toll on almost every app, about 80% or about 80 cents on the dollar
of all the app economy goes through iOS and the toll keeper there, and that is Apple. But again,
back to the attention graph. I think Apple, maybe Google, but I think Apple is going to acquire
Peloton. Why? So they can get another 30 to 40 minutes, three to four times a week of the
wealthiest attention graph in the world. Everyone
from Joe Biden to Oprah Winfrey is on a Peloton. Now, now, think about what has happened in
streaming video. Think about what has happened in the attention graph. And that is Americans
spend on average five hours a day watching TV. Another talk show, another talk show,
I think spectator sports and watching television is the new cancer. You should not spend any more time watching other people sweat than sweating yourself.
TV should be by appointment only, in my view.
In my view.
Anyway, anyway, but five hours, right?
So you take the wealthiest people, you take the wealthiest nation in the world, and they're spending five hours or approximately one in three waking hours in front of a device.
That commands a ton of opportunity
and revenue in the attention graph. So what's happened? Big tech recognized that attention
graph or the TV part of our attention graph was undervalued and came in with investments in
original scripted TV that are equivalent to the defense budget of some G7 countries. And you've seen 20, 30, $40 billion
in incremental investment going to TV every year for the last 10 years. So they are bringing up
the value or that, if you will, piece of our attention graph is finally garnering the money
and the attention it deserves. So what does Apple want to do? It wants to get into fitness,
another 30 or 40 minutes a day. And it wants to get onto
the attention graph part of our commute. And that is if you're in the car and it's an Apple car,
they might get another 30, 60, 120 minutes a day of your attention graph or on your attention graph
each day for iOS. It's a good move. It also speaks to what is their core advantage. I think
it's software and user interface. A lot of people would say it's hardware, but I think they're smart
to partner with a car company. They have a brand that is unparalleled. They will have other people,
they will have other people finance this. I will spend a thousand bucks to be on that waiting list.
Only Apple could get Hermes to partner with them
on a watch. Call Hermes and say if they want to do a partnership with your brand and see what happens.
Strongest brand in the world. They have the capital. They won't need the capital to get it
financed. They'll get a great deal with someone else who will manufacture it. They will come up
with a ton of innovation and user interface. And, and why are they all of a sudden in it?
Because they see an $850 billion player.
And I believe that Apple looks at Tesla, and whether this happens or not, we'll see, but says,
you know what? We're going to take a quarter of a trillion dollars out of that market that Tesla
has forged. Tesla has convinced investors that the automobile market isn't worth $100 billion,
it's worth over a trillion. And we're going to go in and we're going to get ours with an even better brand than Tesla. It's all about the attention graph times the spend of
individuals. It's about getting more time on iOS in that attention graph. Look for Peloton to be
acquired. Look for Apple to launch a car. Look for the dog to be first in line. It's all about
the graph that is your attention.
Stay with us. We'll be right back for our conversation with Jennifer Ocker and Naomi Bagdonas. Support for this show comes from Constant Contact. You know what's not easy?
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Hey, it's Scott Galloway, and on our podcast, Pivot, we are bringing you a special series
about the basics of artificial intelligence. We're answering all your questions, what should
you use it for, what tools are right for you?
And what privacy issues
should you ultimately watch out for?
And to help us out,
we are joined by Kylie Robeson,
the senior AI reporter for The Verge,
to give you a primer
on how to integrate AI into your life.
So tune into AI Basics,
how and when to use AI.
A special series from Pivot
sponsored by AWS,
wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome back. Here's our conversation with Jennifer Ocker and Naomi Bagdonas,
the co-authors of Humor Seriously, Why Humor is a Secret Weapon in
Business and Life. Okay, so professors, tell us about this book. Why did you write this book?
Well, we came to it from very different angles, the two of us. For me, I grew up a total class
clown. I joined a large consulting firm, and then I was called a sad cat lady who never laughs by a client
and had a crisis moment where I realized I was leading this double life where I was
having a lot of fun outside of work. I was doing improv comedy. I had a ton of humor in my life,
and it was giving me a lot of fulfillment. And then inside work, I was doing really well at my job and basically never laughing and only having joy on weekends. So it led for me to this
research journey of, you know, I wanted to believe that I could do both, that we can be good at our
jobs and we can also be joyful, that we can be joyful at work. And through that, it led to
three really important realizations. One, humor actually has
a transformative impact on our psychology and our behavior. So on our mental health,
on our creativity, feelings of closeness with others, many, many things. Second,
it's a totally underleveraged asset at work. So I am not the only one who's totally leaving
my sense of humor at home. And third is that it's a learnable skill and that these minor shifts in behavior and mindset can reap very real benefits.
Now that was my journey. Jennifer came to it from a very different angle.
Yeah. I mean, it came from a very personal place for me. Scott, you know, mom, you know,
was a volunteer or is a volunteer for hospice for the last 40 years. So, you know, I grew up with my two sisters, Jan and Joe, and, you know, dad, having conversations around the dinner table
about, you know, people dying and what they wish for in their last days of life. Because, you know,
we're a fun family. And that's what fun families do. That sounds like fun. Yeah.
Yeah. And so one of the things that was most surprising about this is, you know, one thing people mentioned is that they wish they had laughed more and didn't take themselves so seriously.
So I could see in this very personal way how having more joy contributes to having a more meaningful life.
And so, OK, so I want to posit some things because some things come up immediately.
The first is I don't buy that everyone can be funny.
I think some people are just terminally unfunny the rest of their lives and shouldn't even try.
Your turn.
Okay, so we know that you believe this.
In fact, we interviewed you three years ago.
You did.
For the book and for the class, because you wield humor so strategically.
Oh, I wield so much dangerous humor.
I'm the wielder.
I'm fucking Game of Thrones wielding.
Anyways, go ahead.
Go ahead.
I mean, you dive into it.
You said, like, where are you funny?
You were funny with vodka and in small cocktail parties.
What fuels your funny?
For you, that was like anger, insecurity.
You know, how does your funny show up?
Was it, you know, provocative or profane
or, you know, planned versus real time?
And yeah, you argue that people have to find
their own path around this stuff.
And that's true, but we can learn a lot
from people who harness it well.
Or just having a good sense of humor, right?
My mom, like you're talking about Kay, your mom, Jennifer.
My mom was not funny, but she had a great sense of humor, right? My mom, like you're talking about Kay, your mom, Jennifer, my mom was not funny, but she had a great sense of humor. And that is she appreciated levity and humor. I find that the other side of this, and of course, as I always do, I'm hijacking your book, but I find that just as important to an environment of humor and productive levity is people who have a great sense of humor and laugh a lot that enjoy other people's
humor. Yeah, absolutely. And that's, that's totally one of the things that's backwards is
you think, okay, well, I have to be funny. And there's two really important things that are
wrong about that first is exactly what you're saying. It's the assumption that you have to be
funny to cultivate more joy and humor in your life. And actually, it's just about creating these environments
where joy comes more easily.
So if I walk into a room
and I know that something lighthearted I say
is gonna be met with generous laughter,
then I'm more likely to be lighthearted myself.
And it's more likely to create an environment
where it comes more easily.
And then the second thing is the belief
that a sense of humor is something
that you either have or you don't. And this is where you may disagree here, but
it's this belief that we have is a sense of humor is part of how you perceive the world.
And it's also like a muscle. So if you flex it more, it's going to come more naturally to see
humor in your life. And of course, in the
book, we go into all these techniques from comedians that sort of demystify what are some
of the things that are pretty easy to apply that comedians are doing really naturally.
And what are some of those things?
One would be the idea that humor springs from truth and misdirection. And so often it's really
easy to say, oh my gosh, I have to be funny in this talk.
What's the perfect one-liner I should say?
But actually it's more about simply noticing what's true in your life.
So one thing to do is at the end of every day, jot down five observations from that day.
And they can be really simple things like, you know, I walk around the block every day in the afternoon just to break up the day.
Or my dog is super excited every time I feed him, even though it in the afternoon just to break up the day, or my dog is super
excited every time I feed him, even though it's the same food every time and you'd think that
he'd get sick of it. Or I took a work call in my underwear, right? Any sort of observation about
your day. Then what you do is apply these simple techniques like contrast, exaggeration, or one of the most accessible is called the rule of three.
So in the rule of three, all you do is create a simple list where the last item is a little
bit unexpected. So from that list, from those observations I made earlier, I might say,
I really wish that we were all doing this podcast in person. You know, in general,
I really miss a lot of things about office life. I miss going for
spontaneous coffee chats. I miss leaving notes on coworkers' desks. I miss wearing pants, right? So
you just have one, two, and then the third one is a little bit flipped.
And Jennifer, have you done any actual research on, is there a correlation between having a good
sense of humor and professional success? Yeah. I mean, there's work by Brad Bitterland and his colleagues at Wharton and Harvard that
show that when people use humor at work, and it doesn't even have to be good humor,
it just has to be not inappropriate humor, which we can talk about with you later on too.
The bar is so low though. They are 37% more respected and they're also seen as more competent and confident.
And employees who rate their bosses as having a sense... And intelligent, right? And intelligent,
yes. Exactly. There's strong correlations with intelligence. Employees who rate their bosses
as having a sense of humor, again, any sense of humor, report to be 15% more satisfied and engaged
in their jobs. And they rate their bosses as 27% more motivating and admired.
And then what's also interesting, because if you don't want to be motivating or admired
or have engaged employees, there is still a role of humor in your cold, cold heart.
And that is with negotiation.
Studies have shown that adding a simple, mildly funny line to the end of a sales pitch, like
my final offer is X and I'll throw in my pet frog.
That increases customers' willingness to pay by 18%. It's not even funny. It's just lighthearted.
Yeah. So another question I have for you, I have found that the humor killer at work is this
out of control sense of wokeness or what I think is out of control.
And maybe it's because my humor is mostly inappropriate,
but I find that people are so sensitive,
so ready to be triggered,
get virtue points from being offended.
There's this very dangerous,
I find gestalt among younger people
that if they're offended, it means they're right.
And I buy into this notion that you're supposed to,
you should at least initially receive any gesture or comment with the intention it was given. And I
find that there's an entire generation of young professionals trying to be guardians of gotcha.
And humor is dangerous. And that if you ever, I'll just give an example. I think we're a visual species
and objectifying women is wrong in the workplace.
It's they've been subject to it too much.
It diminishes their professional standing.
It's wrong.
I find when you objectify men,
people find it funny and you can do it.
So whenever I talk about,
whenever I'm outrageous on my videos,
I talk about how hot Jack Dorsey is.
I would never
reference Sheryl Sandberg's physical attributes. And then I start thinking, well, maybe at the end
of the day, I just shouldn't do any of it because all I'm doing is creating, is segregating one sex
from the other for reasons. And I go down this rabbit hole, but haven't we sort of, in some,
haven't people on the far left just become what's the term fucking humorless?
There's so much there to unpack.
I mean, one thing that I want to look at there is humor is so innately human and also innately complex that there are all these tangential associations that we make about what you believe
based on what you make jokes about. And baked into humor are these really important risks to
become more aware of. And once you know those risks, you can navigate them more effectively.
So we talk about two kinds of risks that are important, especially in the story that you gave.
One is risks by rank
and the other is risks by style. So when we talk about rank, we talk about your status,
either in an organization or the status that we attribute to you or your group in a society based
on beliefs that we've held for hundreds or thousands of years. And we know that there's
this phrase in comedy, never punch down, which means you never want to make thousands of years. And we know that there's this phrase in comedy,
never punch down, which means you never want to make fun of someone. Great.
Make them feel diminished. Yep. Agreed.
Right. And so because of that, and because of these deeply ingrained
structures of status that we have around gender, around race, around different groups in society,
all of that is interwoven into humor. So I'll give you
an example that's tangential to yours, which is that Dick Costolo, the former CEO of Twitter,
he used to have April Underwood come on stage with him at all hands meetings. And April was a really
senior in product in Twitter, but she would get up there and she would just tear Dick down. I mean, she would
make fun of him relentlessly, which is totally fine. And it was actually, and it was great too,
because for him, it shows humility, it shows he can take a joke.
I apologize, but as long as you're punching a rich white guy who's heterosexual, that's,
that's kind of open season.
Exactly. And so great. So that was beautiful. So April
goes and becomes head of product at Slack. And she, you know, she's now the most senior person
in most rooms she's in. And she says to her people who are below her, hey, I want you guys to feel
totally comfortable just ripping me down, you know, just make fun of me, tear me down. And
people on her team, the guys on her team were like,
absolutely no way. I am not getting up there and making fun of you. And it illuminates this
deeply ingrained hierarchy that we have. And humor illuminates that in a way that we can't ignore.
Well, we're living in a sensitive time at work. And as a function of what I would call mostly good things and mostly good awareness, the issue is on a risk-adjusted basis, other than dad jokes and being self-deprecating, probably everything else on a risk-adjusted basis, humor isn't worth it.
And so it's, you know, I find that you're playing with humor, you're playing with fire.
I just can't, I don't know.
There's very, very tripwires everywhere.
And you don't want people to feel diminished.
But at the same time, I think this is a difficult one, guys, because it feels like once you really go through on a risk-adjusted basis, don't punch down, don't ever bring up anything around looks, gender, sexual orientation, the way someone dresses, their choice of style, the media they aspire to or consume,
their national heritage, anything, anything. Even if it's good spirited and your close friends
outside of work, you're pretty much limited to kind of knock-knock jokes.
Is that, am I overstating it?
I think, well, a couple of things.
One, yes, you're overstating it.
No, I mean, you're making- I've been known to do that.
All right.
So a couple of things.
One, one thing that you do really well, Scott, is that you just put it out there.
Like I'm going to say inappropriate things, you know, pretty much all of the time.
And you don't say inappropriate things with just one group or one person.
So you democratize inappropriateness.
So I think that that actually serves you well because it offsets risk.
People know Scott's being Scott, that kind of thing.
The second and maybe more important thing with you is there's these different, people oftentimes think that
humor is this one thing. It's the same thing as being funny. But the key is to disabuse yourself
of that idea that using humor is the same thing as being funny. So one of the things that we do
in our class on day one is we have the students basically get to know their humor style. And you
find out that it's not about being funny. It's about, you know, how does your humor show up?
So for example, in the last five years, we've done countless studies that show people tend to fall
into these four broad humor styles. The first is the standup. And these are bold, natural
entertainers who aren't afraid to cross a line and ruffle a few feathers to get a good laugh. Love a stage, like performing, right? Yes,
that's right. And you do that with vodka, but you know, maybe not otherwise. So they build intimacy
through teasing. And you'll often hear a standup say, if I'm making fun of you, it's a sign I like
you. Then there's the sweetheart. They're more subtle and affiliative. And so they use humor to uplift others rather than teasing or poking fun.
So they tend to be earnest and honest and understated.
Give me an example of that.
Give me an example of the sweetheart humor.
Okay, hold on one second.
Let me give you the other two and then we'll come back to examples.
All right, so the other one is sniper.
Snipers interrupt people.
They are edgy.
They're sarcastic.
They're nuanced. They pick their moments carefully and
joke more often to make a point than to necessarily lift others up or tear them down. And they don't
necessarily seek the spotlight, but they, you know, also won't hesitate to cross the line for a laugh.
They're cutting. Yeah. Yes. They're cutting. They see the irony in things and their humor is
insightful. So you score very high on Sniper. And then there's magnet. And they're affiliative and expressive, that big personality who gets everyone laughing
and is very generous with their laughter and demonstrates joy.
So this might be like your mom.
And so the thing that's interesting about this is that each of these styles have these own risks.
So for example, the stand-up and the sniper,
they're very likely to potentially offend or alienate.
So I think what you're experiencing in the classroom is also this idea that you're using sniper humor
a fair amount of time,
and there is a greater risk of offending or alienating.
And sweethearts and magnets,
they are at the greatest risk of taking away their own power through self-deprecation.
And so if you look at the gender differences through this lens of humor, we find male leaders typically self-categorize as stand-ups or snipers at work.
Female leaders typically self-categorize as sweethearts and magnets.
And so that means, in general, men are often more at the risk for offending, whereas women are at a higher risk for over self-deprecating and undermining our own power.
So the idea of just, you know, kind of that day one of class, getting the students to understand their own humor styles and then getting them to categorize their own teammates and even Naomi and I, that goes far to be
able to like illuminate the risk and the benefits.
I love that.
And just to pause there, I would argue on a risk-adjusted basis that the skill you want
to try and develop that's easiest to develop, the least offensive, and has kind of the greatest
upside is the magnet.
And that is, and it goes back to just
having a great sense of humor. When anyone attempts humor in one of my companies, I laugh. I mean,
because I want them to feel, I want them to feel secure and appreciated and that humor is welcome
here. And regardless of how corny or bad or the joke is, I purposely want to be,
if to me, you add joy, like you said, and positivity by being, it feels to me the
safest upside is to train yourself to be a better magnet. Thoughts?
So in general, yes. And I would say it depends on the context. So I'll give you an example where
sniper or stand-up might be more powerful. So earlier in my career, I was designing and
facilitating these workshops for executives. And I was in my late 20s, and most of the people in
the room were in their 40s and 50s, sort of looking at me saying, okay, why is this young
woman standing in the front of the room leading us through this session? In that context, I found sniper and standup humor to be my most powerful,
my most powerful weapon for humor. If I lean too much into magnet, if I was too-
Does it reinforce a gender stereotype?
In some ways, yes, but it comes back to that status point where if you are, I could punch up, right?
Everywhere I was punching was up.
And so sniper humor and stand-up humor, which are more likely to tease, they're more likely to ruffle feathers, actually gained me power in that context.
It showed confidence.
It showed boldness.
Yeah, I agree with you. But quite frankly, I think it plays to, I mean, it plays to, I think that your situation as a young, talented, impressive woman, I think there's a lower risk of that than if there was a younger, talented man punching up to female executives. What do you think? I agree with that. And again, it comes down to we're mixing different forms of status.
And of course, when I say status, I mean, not just explicit, but also these deeply ingrained
social beliefs that we have. So yeah, I think that is true. And you asked earlier, by the way,
what's an example of a sweetheart? So this would be like a T Notaro, a Bowen Yang, who's on SNL now. Magnets you could think of. I
mean, those are pretty easy to think of, right? Jimmy Fallon, Kate McKinnon, more expressive,
effusive. Standups would be someone like Ilana Glazer, Eddie Murphy. I mean, again, you sort
of know what a standup is when we described it. And then snipers, great snipers are to watch are Michelle Wolfe.
Oh my gosh, my favorite.
Literally my hero.
Literally my hero.
I love her.
She's so vulgar.
She's so fearless.
I think she's amazing.
I think she's just incredible.
I'm sorry.
Anyways, I totally interrupted. Go ahead.
Well, one thing that I think is important too, as you start to think about, because you were
going down the path of like gender and status. I mean, I think that there's other ways to also
think about the power of self-deprecation as a more versatile tool than you think,
especially right now, because the reality is that the more technology-mediated our communication becomes, the harder it is to bring our own humanity and sense of humor to work.
So we subconsciously adapt to this medium, and we're constantly communicating through technology, so it's really easy to sound like a robot.
But we're seeing many creative ways that leaders are weaving humor into this bizarre new surreal world. One of them is a CEO named
Conor Diemenjaman, who's a co-CEO of Merit America. And his first all-hand Zoom call with
his organization was a few months ago during a really challenging time for the world and a
particularly divisive time in the U.S. And he wanted to acknowledge the hardship of the moment
while signaling care and reassurance. And so to acknowledge this truth, you know, he pretended to leave his screen share
on and like while his employees were watching them, holding their breath, he actively Googled
and it was accidentally, you know, he pretended to turn it off, but he, you know, accidentally
left it on. He Googled things inspirational CEOs say in hard times.
And everyone lost it.
So it was this beautiful moment of levity and signaling vulnerability in a completely unexpected way.
And you see what he did there, right?
It's like the basics of comedy, truth and misdirection.
And it was intentional.
And it was free.
And it served him
very well. You know, it was an incredibly thoughtful, you know, timed, thoughtfully
timed pressure release and this playful invitation that others could let their guard down. But,
you know, if you go back to the bottom line of humor, you know, we're living in a time right
now, which is, you know, where mental wellbeing has been on the decline in a very significant way.
People are socially isolated.
We're all feeling lonely.
And these rates of depression are unparalleled, especially in these moments.
Talk about the important role that humor plays in a functional family.
Yeah, a couple things. One, I think that there is nothing,
maybe potentially nothing more important than maybe making your kid feel like they have a good
sense of humor, that they can make others laugh. So being generous with your laughter as a parent
is an incredibly powerful tool. But the second thing that I think is interesting about the family dynamic is Naomi has been voted class clown. I never prioritized humor. I thought humor
was inefficient, ineffective, and totally useless. And that changed about five or six years ago
because I was teaching in Taya Sloan, my daughter's class, second grade at the time. And I asked all
of the, you know, 30 kids,
I asked like, who's the funniest person, you know, 29 out of the 30 kids all said their dad or brother. It was horrifying. So I went back indignant and we had a family dinner that night.
And I said, can you believe that, you know, nearly a hundred percent of kids think that
their dad is the funniest or their brother?
And every, crickets.
Everyone looked down.
And then Taya said, yeah, you're the least funny person in our family.
And then, so then I decided to write a book with Naomi and like show a, you know, kind of the suboptimal positioning in the family and the dads get to be the funny person.
What do you think?
Well, my experience is that mom, and again, we regress to gender stereotypes, but mom is the one that is more present in the child's life and so isn't as novel and isn't likely to be seen as fun or silly
and so doesn't get the same audience or the same opportunity. I've also found that humor,
I think about humor a lot. And I've also found, and something I've tried to embrace as I've gotten
older is the role that humor plays in maintaining a healthy relationship with my spouse. And I purposefully deploy humor when I feel arguments and conflict escalating to a point
where they might leave scar tissue. And that is, I'm funny, my wife thinks I'm funny, and when
shit really gets hot, I move to humor to try and de-escalate. And I didn't do that in my first marriage, you know, see above
first marriage. So it's, I find it's an incredibly powerful, something I've, I want to take a pause
on that, that you said that I think is really powerful. And that is laughing at your kids'
jokes and giving, I think that's a fantastic source of confidence building to, to, in a very
organic, you know, primal way, demonstrate to them that they're funny
and that their humor has value. I think that's a fantastic way to give confidence.
Any other kind of last thoughts on, give us one or two exercises. If you think,
I still am sort of, and you guys probably broke it down in the book better, I still think on a
risk-adjusted basis, you have to be very careful with humor at work, and especially young men.
I just think it's fraught with risk, which is too bad.
And I engage.
I have a certain liquidity of humor.
I sometimes wonder that young men model me, and I'm like, don't model me.
I'm financially secure.
I can afford to get fired.
You can't.
And so you have to be careful, but also the liquidity
of being offensive. And that is I'm offensive so much that people come to expect it and they
prepare for it. Whereas I think if you're offensive on an irregular basis, you're actually more prone
to risk. That people find it, they're shocked by it. They're shocked by the outlier effect in addition
to actually what you said. So laughing, I love that. Laughing, I love these hacks. Really overtly
trying to give your kids confidence, laughing. What other exercises would you give to us as we
get older and we sense ourselves losing that sense of joy? Any hacks or any personal exercises that the two of you do to try and
incorporate just in generally more joy into your life? Yeah, I'll start with the first one that
relates to what you were saying, Scott, about when something is going really bad, you try and make a
joke, right? If a conversation is getting really argumentative. In our class, we tell our students to look for
ways to create levity reframes. So how do you reframe either a story that you tell about
yourself or about your life with levity or something that's coming up? Is there a way to
infuse, relentlessly infuse humor into something that is going to be dark? So a quick example here
from my childhood, because we were talking about raising kids. One year when I was growing up, my dad was really sick, like, you know, in bed, not able to get out of bed,
had an IV pole. And so we weren't going to have a Christmas tree that year because we always had
the Christmas tree downstairs. We were all fine with that. We had bigger fish to fry, right?
So my sister and I, I was seven, she was nine. We walk out on Christmas morning and to find that my
parents have decorated my dad's IV pole as a Christmas tree, that there's like lights all over, there's tinsel, he's wearing the tree skirt.
And we're just, we all just start like crying, laughing, right?
And so one is our lives are only our remembered stories.
So what stories are we about to create in our lives that are going to be really heavy? And is there a way that we can relentlessly infuse levity into those stories?
Jennifer, I'll pass to you for the next tip. Yeah, I think the other one is something as
simple as, again, knowing your humor style and knowing the humor style of others around you.
You know that someone else might be a sniper or a stand-up where teasing is in fact a sign of intimacy, I like you, then you can take, you know, different types of risks.
But when you're teaching a classroom of 280 people, understanding that there is a wide variety
of humor styles, and then, you know, kind of just actually putting a set of norms on the table on
the first, you know, day, for example, I use humor. I use it, you know, strategically, thoughtfully.
If I ever offend, I want you to come talk to me.
I want to hear why.
And so just putting norms in place
so that you can use humor as, you know, as a tool.
The way actually I started working with Naomi
is she guest lectured in my Power of Story class.
And she was teaching a lot about
neurochemistry as well as eigenvalue analysis to illuminate the power of how data and story
come together. And the students were almost on the ground laughing for an hour and a half. It
was bizarre. Later, 10 weeks later, I asked not only which guest did they, you know, did they like, did they feel as impactful, but where did they remember the material, the quantitative material?
And Naomi scored at the highest.
The reality is, is that when you use humor, people better encode the information that you're intaking.
And we see this in late night a lot.
You know, people aren't able to absorb what's going on around us with some humor
a little bit more, but it's not a tool that you want to, you know, give up. So one, I guess one
tip I would say besides really understanding your own humor style and potentially others and setting
norms in, you know, the classroom, I think it's also just this idea that if you're trying to
accomplish something important and concrete, don't write it off.
Instead, just ask yourself how to use humor to better accomplish your goals.
So remember the pet frog study, that's 18% increased price point.
I mean, that's a dad joke.
It's not a good joke.
But maybe, you know, maybe we've got to go back to like really appreciating some dad jokes.
Yeah, and I've always tried to.
I love that. I think that's a great lesson that professional, when I used to write these really
long research reports, I would always incorporate humor because I thought it creates a level of
resonance that they're just more likely to remember what they read before and after.
That it just, it helps content permeate boundaries.
Anyways, Jennifer Ocker and Naomi Bogdonas
teach humor, serious business
at Stanford's Graduate School of Business.
And they are the co-authors of
Humor, Seriously, Why Humor is a Secret Weapon
in Business and Life.
They joined us from California.
So Jennifer and Naomi, thanks for your good work and stay safe.
Thanks, Scott. Thanks, Scott.
We'll be right back.
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about the business world, big tech, higher education, and whatever else is on your mind.
What's on your mind? If you'd like to submit a question, please email a voice recording to
officehours at section4.com. Question number one. Hi, Scott. Jean from New York City here.
I work at the intersection of venture
capital and real estate. And as you've discussed many times, I agree there's no doubt that the
pandemic has accelerated trends around how and where we work and live. Even though dual income
households have been pretty commonplace for decades, COVID has reminded us that child care
and household responsibilities still really do disproportionately fall on the shoulders of
women, as seen in the rate we have been leaving the workforce. It seems like some of the big
themes we expect to play out in the 2020s, like the rise of telemedicine, ed tech, and the shift
from commercial to residential real estate, will all have massive implications for the American
family unit. My question to you, where do you see the biggest opportunities
for big tech, new startups, and real estate owners and operators to play a role in the
post-COVID family? Why is no one talking about this? Gene from New York City, that's a really
thoughtful question. I've been thinking about this a lot. And COVID-19, unfortunately, if you
think about it as an accelerant, this is one area where it's not accelerating trends.
It's reversing good trends in a very bad way.
And that is we have literally lost, I mean, think about this.
The women's labor force participation rate is the lowest it's been since 1988.
We've lost 32 years of progress.
And if Phyllis Schaefeli or whatever her name was,
was here, she would say, oh no, we're going back to the fifties. Isn't it great?
It's not. There's been a dispersion of headquarters. And the result of that is that
people now have the flexibility, families have the flexibility to move further out of town,
maybe where it's less expensive. But the problem is when they decide, okay,
one person is not going to work, it's almost always the woman who they decide should not
maintain her career. And by the way, one of the things I always found
strange, I've always said part of being a man and part of masculinity is taking economic
responsibility for your household. And immediately people get their antennae come up
justifiably and say, well, that's somewhat sexist. Women make money too. I agree. I think it's a good
place to start for everyone to take economic responsibility for their household. And sometimes
being a man and taking economic responsibility for your household is recognizing that your partner
is just better at this whole money thing,
is just better at her profession than you are, and that you need to step up and be more responsible
and more supportive of her career. That's part of what it means to be a man and be economically
responsible for your family. Unfortunately, unfortunately, and I don't know if it's genetic,
I don't know if it's societal, it's probably both, when we disperse schooling to the household, because a lot of
schools are closed, some for legitimate reasons, some not. What does that mean? It means we've
dispersed teaching to moms. And let's be honest, it's the mom. Yeah, there'll be some over-publicized
stories of the single dad sitting down next to his eight-year-old and doing math on their iPad. But
generally speaking, I would say 90 plus percent of the time, it's the mom who has to sit next to the seven year old and get their little boy or
little girl through science and Spanish and math on their iPad. It is just ridiculous to think that
kids can do this on their own. So there's been enormous strain on moms. I'm a big fan of this
thing called Marshall Plan for Moms. I don't understand
why we transfer a trillion dollars from young people to the wealthiest cohort in America in
history. Wealthiest cohort in history, basically seniors in America. Social Security took senior
poverty from 38% to 11%. Great. Give money to those 11%. And then let's have Social Security
for the people who have the most impact
on the future of our society, specifically moms who, for whatever reason, usually end up carrying
the bag around raising the next generation. And there's some really fucking frightening
statistics out there. Lower income kids, because of remote learning, are falling well behind on
math and STEM, which means we're going to lose a generation of civic leaders, a generation of scientists coming up with
vaccinations, a generation of military leaders. We're losing an entire generation. I think that
is one of the biggest kind of unfolding disasters here. I think we need a Marshall Plan for mothers.
I think the dispersion of headquarters has unintended consequences of
setting women back 32 years. If you are young, you want to get to headquarters. As much as there's a
temptation to work remotely, if your job can be moved to Denver, it can be moved to Delhi.
If you already are killing it and you want to live in Boulder, fine. But if you're young and
you need to get to the point where you're killing it, then get into headquarters. Why? Why? Because relationships matter.
And if there's three people who are qualified
to get the promotion to VP,
the SVP making that decision
will always go with the person
they have a relationship with.
And relationships are a function of proximity.
So while before you have dogs,
before you have kids, get into HQ.
The dispersion of school,
the dispersion of work is taking a huge toll on
moms. We need a Marshall Plan to take lower and middle-income moms and just, quite frankly,
give them money. And you know what's wonderful about giving lower and middle-income mothers
money? They spend it. Not really your question, what is the real estate or what is the opportunity
in real estate? Simply put, I think there is going to be a reallocation of 20 to 30% of the capital in commercial real estate, a $12 trillion asset class,
and I think it's going to be reallocated to the home. Again, it goes back to the attention graph.
If you're spending, it's not going to be either or. Everyone's saying, are we going to work
remotely or go back into the office? It's going to be both, but people are going to spend 20 to 30% of that $12 trillion asset class
transfer from commercial real estate, $3 to $4 trillion is going to be transferred to residential.
So how do you kill it in real estate? You get into home. I don't care if it's Sonos. I don't
care if it's restoration hardware. I don't care if it's cold storage so you can have more of your
shit left for you for groceries, whatever it is, whatever it is, ring, anything in the home.
And by the way, there just aren't that many great brands in the home. Think about it.
Think about it. A $3 million home, they put in the tear sheet, it has a sub-zero. That's the
best we can do. A $3,000 refrigerator is a point of differentiation in the home because there's so
few great brands. In sum, in sum, whether it's lumber prices, whether it's housing, whether it's the infrastructure,
the ecosystem that serves residential, you are going to see a boom, a boom in the technologies
and the supplies and the labor force around residential. Thanks for the question, Gene.
Next question. Hey, Scott. This is Evan from Long Island. I'm a 22-year-old college graduate
who recently started a career in Big Four consulting.
In my years at college, these firms were thought of as innovators. They hired young professionals from top-tier universities to collaborate and leverage years of experience to deliver valuable
insights to their clients. After some time, I've learned that this is not the case. With firms
still using extremely outdated engagement-based economics, investing little money into in-house differentiating technologies, and relying on low-cost college grad labor.
I see a massive risk in the big four's complacency to adapt digitalization and automation.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how these firms can pivot their service offerings towards your famed Rundle business model.
Thanks, Evan.
You should be in voiceovers.
You have a fantastic voice.
And as you get older, your voice will get even deeper. And people are like, oh my gosh,
he's so dreamy. What's his name? What's his name? Qual es su nombre? Evan. Anyways, Evan.
Okay. So got to be honest, I hear in your voice a little bit of what most 22-year-olds
go through. And that is it sucks to work and that work sucks. And that we come out
of college with this image of what the corporate world is going to be like. And then we find out
that it mostly sucks everywhere, those first jobs out of college. The secret sauce of corporate
America, one of them is that a really talented 22 year old, you pay them 60, 80, 100 grand,
whatever it is, they work their ass off and they're 80% as talented as that VP
you're paying 300 grand at 35 or 40. So your ability to track the best and brightest is really
the key. And Facebook, Google, Amazon, Apple have kind of a lock on that as does McKinsey. I don't
know if you're working for Deloitte. However, however, I would argue that these firms aren't
going to be disrupted that quickly because most capital or disruption is a function.
They want to scale with zeros and ones. They want to scale with software. And there's still a lot
of organic intelligence required around consulting. You need the nuance and the
understanding of the industry. It's a relationship-driven business. There's a lot of
interaction going into a meeting with a group of people and saying, all right, this is our data. These are our findings, our intelligence we layer on top of the data.
And then having a back and forth. Everyone says, well, the world's moving to data. Data's the new
oil. Okay, maybe, but we're knee deep in data. We're knee deep in oil. The key is petroleum,
and that is refining data into insights. I know a decent amount about this. My first firm,
Profit Brand Strategy, was a brand strategy firm. My last firm, L2, was essentially a strategy firm with a services model.
Now, now, let's talk about the pivot, the pivot and how these firms double or triple
their stakeholder value.
They need to move to a recurring revenue model.
And that is they need to be more data-driven, constantly collecting data around the key
metrics, whether it's the number of people that get in the funnel and come out the funnel,
the engagement on your Instagram page, how many people abandon a card on your mobile device, whatever it might be,
your brand affinity, your NPS, but tracking data across a sector and every player in the sector,
and then sitting down with the individuals on a regular basis and providing a layer of insight
that reflects the nuance and domain expertise of that specific industry. They will move, I think, or the opportunity is to move to a recurring revenue relationship. Because typically
what happens in consulting is I get paid a half a million dollars to do William Sonoma's internet
strategy or Audi's or Levi Strauss and Company, which were all engagements I sold in my 30s when
I had a shaved head and a good rap. And people said, okay, have that young, strange, angry, bald man figure out our internet strategy. And I charged him a half a million bucks.
And then about 10 weeks into a 12-week engagement, I'd have to invent new problems that only
me and my colleagues were uniquely suited to solve. So we were spending 30 or 40% of our
calories on selling and reselling and upselling, as opposed to focusing on the data
and the product and the insights. And at L2, we went to a recurring revenue relationship where
we said, okay, you're a small company, you're David Yerman or you're Rolex, we're going to
charge you a hundred grand a year. We're going to collect your data on a regular basis. We're
going to meet with you and give you our insights and our viewpoint. And if you're Nike and you're
doing 20 billion a year, we're going to charge you a million dollars a year. And again, we're
going to meet with you more often, meet with you across region, collect different data sets, provide more thoughtful ingrained analysis, show up and talk about your mobile, show up and talk about your digital marketing, your distribution, supply chain.
And they just loved it.
And it was a fantastic business.
And I sold that business for eight times revenue instead of eight to 15 times EBITDA, which is where services firms trade right now. So whether you're an ad agency, whether you're a consulting firm,
absolutely, you want to be the guy or the gal in the room thinking about recurring revenue
businesses. And by the way, they don't just need to flip on a switch. As long as it's the fastest
growing part of their business or that business is growing faster than the core business, slowly
but surely, Accenture's multiple will go up. Now, back to you. You are probably going through the same
realization a lot of people do at the age of 22, and that is work is hard, and it's especially hard
and especially sucks for people right out of college. But I would argue it's a fantastic
way to get some learning, a fantastic way to get some skills, a fantastic way to investigate other
industries. And I'm actually more bullish than you are on those services firms. I think they're going to
figure it out, but I think it's going to become more about constant data collection and a recurring
revenue multiple. Evan, hang in there, my brother. Hang in there. Next question.
Hey, Scott. Matthew here, reaching you from Nice, France. I'm a sophomore undergrad student
exploring future professional opportunities, and I want to get your thoughts on the meaning that one can find in their work.
I think too often people seek wealth and making money is their prime factor when considering
future careers and I want to get your thoughts on what careers or roles do you think offer the
most meaningful experiences? What can I engage myself in that will have the most positive effect
on the most amount of people possible?
Is it reaching a high level of power in business?
Is it working for a nonprofit, an international organization, government?
Thanks for keeping us all up to date and entertained during this pandemic.
Keep up the great work.
Matthew from Nice, thanks for the kind words and thanks for the thoughtful questions.
So these are deeply personal decisions. So Scott Harrison is just wired differently than me. Right out of college, and by the way, Scott Harrison is the founder of Charity Water. Right out of college, he got reward from New York Nightlife and used his incredible interpersonal skills to basically sell tables and promote nightclubs and create a scene and an environment that people were willing to pay a lot of money for. And they get in between that and take a small commission. And then had
an awakening and returned to his Christian roots and decided he wanted to help other people the
rest of his life. And to, if you will, nod to Jesus Christ when he said, love the poor.
And now has brought safe drinking water to, I think, 20 or 30 million people in Sub-Saharan Africa. Neither of those is for me. Neither of those is for me. I was always very focused on
economic security. I grew up with no money. At a very early age, I recognized that there was like
this high blood pressure, high cholesterol anxiety in my house. It was just always there,
waiting for an opportunistic infection.
Whenever something hit the household, whether it was a big car breakdown, I remember my cat
getting really sick. And it was, in addition to the stress of our cat dying, we couldn't afford
the fucking vet bills. So there was this constant layer of stress. And I decided at an early age,
and people don't like to speak this way, that money was important to me or financial security. The means or the road to financial
security, if that's what you're pursuing, I don't think it's about following your passion. I think
it's about finding something you're good at and then investing the requisite perseverance,
practice, 10,000 hours, bullshit, breaking through hard things so you can become great at it.
And then being great at something I think is its own reward. And you said the question,
the question you asked, what can I engage myself in that will have the most positive effect on the
most amount of people possible? I think it's finding something you're great at. If you're
great at something, you're going to have a lot of impact. Now, you might be great and you might get
enormous reward out of
not pursuing what I'd call economic or just being kind of an economic animal. That's fine. In America,
unfortunately, capitalism and money creates opportunities. The opportunity to say no to
bullshit you don't want to do, the opportunity to have better healthcare, unfortunately, have
a broader selection set of mates, unfortunately,
and having resources in a capitalist economy, there's just no getting around it. It's important.
It's probably too important. Long-winded way of saying, how do you have an impact? How do you have an impact? First, you got to say, what do I want to do with my life? Am I focused on a
capitalist route, which most people are, or am I focused on more of a nonprofit route or truly
pursuing something that's more noble, whether it's being a high school math teacher, which most people are, or am I focused on more of a nonprofit route or truly pursuing
something that's more noble, whether it's being a high school math teacher?
More power to you. Recognize you're going to have to adjust your lifestyle. There's a dignity in
that. There's nothing wrong with that. The majority of the people I hang out with want to
go the capitalist route, and that is they want to have economic security for them and their families,
and then ideally take some of that money and have an impact with that money, with that
influence, with that excellence.
So in sum, I would say the key, the key is finding something you're good at, working
your ass off, disavowing the notion that there's balance as a young man or women.
I don't think there is.
If you really want to be great at something, I think you got to pretty much devote 20 years
to being great at it.
Invest in relationships.
People want, there's this cartoon that really successful people are Monty Burns and are
assholes.
That's not my experience whatsoever.
The most successful people I know, emotionally, psychologically, economically, are really
good people.
Because guess what?
People want good people to win.
They want to do business with them.
They want to strike better deals with them.
They want them to win. They want to do business with them. They want to strike better deals with them. They want them to win.
So making small investments in relationships,
helping other people out.
When your buddy, when somebody you know gets fired,
that's when you step in and get generous.
People who are killing it don't need your friendship.
They don't need your help.
Anyway, find something you're great at.
And then finally, finally, every day, every day, be stoic,
spend less than you make, put a little bit of money away every day. Every day, put a little
bit of money away or every week, and then also create a bank of relationships, small gestures
every day. I've been thinking a lot about this GameStop dilemma. And here's the good news.
I know how you can get rich.
I guarantee I can get you rich.
That's the good news.
The bad news, how do you get rich?
Slowly.
It's about hard work.
It's about discipline, both in terms of your job and also investing.
Thanks for the question, Matthew.
Best of luck to you.
Keep sending in your questions. Again, if you'd like to submit one,
please email a voice recording to officehours at section4.com. Algebra of happiness. So Jennifer Ocker, Professor Ocker spoke. I know Jennifer because her father
was my brand strategy professor, my second year of business school, my second year of business
school. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just knew what I didn't want to do. I didn't want to
go back into investment banking. And I took this course, Brand Strategy, with Professor Ocker, and he talked about the
importance of yellow and these big excavators being left behind in Europe. And people began
to associate Caterpillar and their yellow with construction or reconstruction and rebuilding and
hope, or the notion that the Jaguar symbol meant elegance and excitement. I just thought this is just a
fantastic thing. The notion of managing a brand as an asset. And I wanted that moment, I was so
blessed with a moment where I thought this is what I want to do with my life. And I started
profit brand strategy in my second year of business school. And ultimately David joined us as vice
chairman. A moment where you not only have an inspiration like that, but a moment where you
can identify someone you look up to is an incredible asset. And this is my algebra of happiness today. Everybody needs a kitchen cabinet. And that is you have to have people on your shoulder who you know well enough that be someone you know. It can be someone you admire and you have to commit. You have to commit to knowing them really, really well. And
that's either getting to know them personally or reading everything that's ever been written
about them. So you can channel Muhammad Ali. You can channel Madeleine Albright. You can channel
Angela Merkel. You can channel Mother Teresa, whatever it might be. You can channel Jesus.
You need people on your shoulder and for different parts of your life. Whenever I think about how I
comport myself professionally or how I equip myself professionally, I think of Warren Hellman,
this very thoughtful man, very direct, very smart. By the way, probably the most famous
private equity guy ever. But I remember he said to me, we don't sue anybody. So largest private equity firm in California is like, we don't sue
anybody. If we feel like we've been wrong, we just don't work with them again. And in 30 years in
business, I have never sued anybody, nor have I ever been sued. Now that sounds like I'm inviting
someone to take legal action against me and it probably will, but I'm proud of that. I would
rather just not engage in that. If people aren't good to me, I don't work with them again. I try
to always be generous with people, and as a result, I think I've managed to avoid most legal kerfuffles.
In addition, David always had a generosity about him. One, he knew more about one thing than anyone
else in the world, and I thought, I would love to be that guy. I would love to know more about one thing, no matter how narrow, than anyone else in the world. And he was
always very generous in meetings, acknowledging points. He was just a total gentleman. I also
look up to him because he's been married for 50 years and has, I think it's four daughters that
love him immensely and play sports every day. I just like his masculinity. I like how aggressive he is around
sports. And then he gets off the field and he's just this kind of like gentle soul who is better,
who is better at this one thing than anyone who ever walked the planet. That one thing being
brand strategy. My Dean, my former Dean, Peter Henry at the business school is someone I've
tried to get to know. And I try to mirror or role model specifically around.
I get angry at my colleagues when I think they're being a jerk.
So I think they've wronged me.
I hold grudges and it's something I hate about myself.
And what I learned from Peter is that he always wanted the other person to win.
And as I've gotten older, I try to think about, especially because I have a lot of young people working with me, instead of thinking what what's good for the business or what would make me richer? What's a win for them? How do I leverage
my talents and my blessings such that it's a win for them? When it comes to my friends,
my mom is my role model. My mom is on my shoulder, even though she passed away
15 years ago. She was super generous with her friends, super kind, and had boundaries like a motherfucker.
And I've done that with my friendships.
I like to think of myself as a generous person.
I don't keep score.
I try to be a thoughtful, loving, generous friend.
And on a regular basis, I cut someone out of my life.
I don't believe in having friends just because you went to college with them.
That's one reason. But if you're not enjoying them and they're not enjoying you, I don't think there's
a reason to stay friends with them. When someone is constantly taking or is rude or makes passive
aggressive comments all the time, you're generous with them. What's going on? How can I help? And
then after a certain amount of time, if that shit keeps on, you cut them out of your life. I like bringing in new friends to my life, which means on a regular basis, I have to shed friends. I don't do it erroneously. I don't do it happenstance, but I am generous. And then I have boundaries. And I learned all of that from your shoulder. You need a kitchen cabinet. Life is hard. You will come across every
day a shit ton of decisions that you don't know exactly how to respond. Case in point, I have
someone working with me, and to be blunt, this person is not doing their job. And I was speaking
to a colleague about the situation, and the colleague asked me,
I wonder if this person is going through something. And I like that this person immediately
went to maybe, you know, maybe it's not about the job. Maybe it's not about you. Maybe it's not
about the work relationship. Maybe it's not about the employer-employee relationship. Maybe this
person is going through something, and that's where you should start. And this individual is this very gracious guy I've known for a long time. And I
thought, okay, I need to be more graceful. I need to demonstrate more grace. I need to model this
person more often when I feel I'm not on the right side of a trade with someone I work with.
You want a group of good people on your shoulder that you know so well, so well,
you can turn to them and they can whisper in your ear, here's how I would handle this.
Our producers are Caroline Shagrin and Drew Burrows. If you like what you heard,
please follow, download, and subscribe. Thank you for listening. We'll catch you next week
with another episode of The Prop G Show from Section 4 and the Westwood One Podcast Network.
By the way, what is she doing?
What is what has happened to Michelle Wolf?
I'm like one of the seven people that watched her Netflix series and thought it was genius.
Has anyone heard from Michelle Wolf?
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