The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway - The Economy is Leaving Young Men Behind (A Lost Boys Special)

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

We're bringing you another episode from Lost Boys, hosted by Anthony Scaramucci and Scott Galloway. In this conversation, Anthony and Scott ask: Is the economy leaving young men behind? They unpack th...e financial and professional pressures facing this generation, the surprising impact of wealth inequality and the idolization of money, and a roadmap for young men to reclaim their human capital. Subscribe to Lost Boys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter fairs include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. powders, pills, plunges, everywhere you look, there seems to be a new wellness trend. I think, like, also, we all want to feel good. And if there's a way to feel better, I think, wouldn't you want to try it?
Starting point is 00:00:43 I would. What's the cost of being well? And why are we so obsessed with it in the first place? That's this week on Explain It to Me. New episodes every Sunday, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. Scott Galloway here in this episode of the Lost Boy series, Anthony Scaramucci and I explore how today's economy is leaving many young men behind. We get into the financial and professional pressures.
Starting point is 00:01:18 This generation is facing the role of wealth, inequality, and how the obsession with money is shaping young minds. Plus, some thoughts on how to rebuild and reinvest in your human capital. Let's bust right into it. Thanks for joining us for Lost Boys. The podcast where my friend Professor Scott Galloway and I dig into unique challenges young men are facing today and what we can do about it. In this episode, Scott and I talk about the challenges young men are facing economically and professionally and how these challenges are radically different than what Scott and I had
Starting point is 00:01:57 when we were growing up. about what Scott learned from running for student body president in high school and what we can all learn from the insecurity of billionaires. Here's my conversation with Scott Gallowett. I'm being joined by my good friend, Professor Scott Galloway. And Scott, the topic today is about money and employment. And the topic, I think, is creating a lot of stress for many people in this generation that you and I are talking about. So I'm, I'm taking this generation demographically to be ages, you know, 12 to 30, 12 too young for employment, but really as you're getting into the 22 to 30 year old zone, there's a tremendous amount of stress
Starting point is 00:02:46 that young people are experiencing today, frankly, versus you and I. I mean, because I think you and I had limited choices. And so you got up in the morning and said, I got to go to work to make money. I did the same thing. But I think the world has changed. How is the world changed, Scott? And why do you think there's so much stress related to the concepts around money and employment? I think it's a combination of a bunch of things, but two or three primary things. And that is, I think if you were to reverse engineer, everything that ales us, polarization, anxiety, obesity, depression, extremism, I think you could reverse. And you had to pick one chart and say this is the epicenter of where all these externalities are bubbling up, it would be
Starting point is 00:03:35 the following. And that is, for the first time in our nation's history, first time about this started, we breached this point six years ago. A 30-year-old man or woman isn't doing as well as his or her parents were at 30. That has never happened before. If you think about, if you think about a nation as a construct or an agreement between its citizenship and a set of laws and a construct and government and taxes and exchange you enter into this contract. The contract is the following. And I'm curious if you agree with this, I think you do, that if I play by the rules and I pay taxes and I'm a good person, I got a little bit of luck, my kids are going to do better than me. My sons are the only people I've ever wanted to be more successful than me.
Starting point is 00:04:18 And so when they're not, when I've played by the rules and my kids are good kids and they're less successful than me than I was at 30. And this is never. happened before, it creates rage and shame across the household, the neighborhood, the nation. And I think this election was essentially a referendum on, I don't care about trans rights, I don't care about territorial sovereignty in Ukraine. If my kid's not doing well, I want chaos, I want change. I want whatever represents the most change, whether it's unethical, ethical, insurrectionist, I just don't care. I'm going to vote for what is the most disruptive thing possible. So there is rage and shame across.
Starting point is 00:04:58 tens of millions of U.S. households because your kids aren't doing as well as you. That's where it all starts. And then you speedball it with 210 times a day. You're notified on your phone that there are people seemingly everywhere who are on Gulf Streams and parting in St. Barts, and you're not one of them. So when I was a kid, there was also, and also there's this idolathing of money where when I was a kid, my dad's boss had a slightly bigger car, a slightly bigger house, but we all, we were at the same country club in the summer. We kind of, he got to fly business class. Occasionally my dad got to fly business class. I flew coach with my, with my mom, but it was a similar life. Now the life, the point one percent lead, is a different
Starting point is 00:05:58 life entirely. So the importance of money has taken over. You used to have game. My high, my junior, my elementary class principal in Orange County had game. He was handsome. He wore aquavela. He drove a 240 Z. He was cool. He wore a jacket with elbow patches. He had game. No principal has game now because he's not a fucking billionaire. Everything is about money. It appears like everyone has more money than you on your phone. And the reality is, you're not doing as well as your parents were. So your roommates, who you're probably living with, one in three men are living with their parents up until the age of 25, one in five at 30. And they're reminded by their roommates every day, implicitly and explicitly that they're failing. So there is more rage and shame in America because we continue to transfer
Starting point is 00:06:51 wealth from the young to the old. But I'll stop there. I'd love to get you. Well, first of all, I agree with all that. I want you to react to this, and this is apropos to what you're saying. And I'm going to give you the facts that 41-year-old centa-millionaire, ready? 41-year-old centa-millionaire, venture capitalists. I'm meeting him for coffee. And he says, you know, I really feel like I'm underachieving. I said, you feel like you're underachieving. Tell me why. He says, well, J.D. Vance is my age. He's the vice president of the United States. And I feel like I've missed the boat. And I'm I'm capturing for you in a real life story that somebody said to me what is going on in terms of Instagram comparison, life comparison.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Here's a guy that by you, you're in my imagination growing up. I would say he's arguably one of the most successful people in the world. But we've we've lost our anchor, I guess, is what I'm getting at. I guess how do you get the kid to feel better about themselves? It's, yeah, certainly, you know, you and I grew up and we've talked about this. My parents, I guess, set a low bar if I'm being brutally honest, right? My dad was a construction worker, so if I did better than him, I was okay in my mind. But how do you get these kids that are comparing themselves to different people to stop doing that
Starting point is 00:08:16 and to get the affirmation or the pat on the back that they need to feel good about where they are? There's a philosopher here, Alanda Bhutan, a British guy, and he said that the downside of a meritocracy, the downside of believing that anyone can make it, and that's the belief we foment in the U.S., that it's a true meritocracy, that if you're hardworking and you're talented, you can make it. That's a wonderful thing, except there's a really ugly dark side to that. It means if you don't, it's your fault. It means if you aren't providing, if you haven't been able to attract a mate. If you haven't been able to save a million bucks by the time you're 30, if you can't go to Coachella and get backstage passes, it means it's your fault. You screwed up.
Starting point is 00:09:02 And the reality is, and this goes to advice, a lot of my success is not my fault. And what I mean by that, and a lot of kids' failure is not their fault. It took me until I was probably 45 to realize that up until the age of 40, in America, if you really are honest about it, I raised money. I was starting internet businesses in the 90s, and it never dawned on me that everyone raising tens of millions of dollars had pale skin and outdoor plumbing and was heterosexual, at least claimed to be heterosexual. So that was 30% of the population, so you had the most robust economy in history, crowding all of the prosperity into one-third of the population. So if you were in that one-third of the population, a lot of your success was.
Starting point is 00:09:49 your fault. At the same time, what I say to young men is, you do your best. Success is a series of small disciplined efforts every day, whatever it might be, working out, making a few calls, dusting off your LinkedIn resume, approaching someone about just a series of small efforts every day like compound investments. But if you wake up and you're 28 and shit's hard and you aren't killing it and you haven't bought, you know, a meme coin, you don't have millions of dollars, the first thing I tell young men is, forgive yourself. As long as you're trying, as long as you're being a good person, a lot of it is out of your control. If I've been born in 1920, I would have died on a Russian field as a Nazi. I would have thought, oh, I'm fighting for the fatherland. I would have been sent to Russia
Starting point is 00:10:34 and I would have died. So a lot of where you end up in life, you have no control over success and failure. Be humble when you're successful, forgive yourself when you fail as long as you're trying every day and you're a good person. So the first thing I tell kids or young men is you got to forgive yourself. You got to get past this notion that you have fucked up in your failure. Just stop it. Stop it. The next thing, you know, what I do with young men is my, when I coach young man, is I say, we're going to find eight to 12 hours in your phone. Super easy. Unlock your phone. I'm not going to judge you. And the first thing I tell them to put them at ease is I say, I watch porn. So if I find something on your phone, I'm not going to judge you. I gamble. I don't
Starting point is 00:11:14 gamble in Vegas, but I basically have a gambling bug. I buy. I do covered calls. options, which is just crazy. That's gambling, right? But I do it because I enjoy it. I know it's stupid. I know over the long term I'll lose money, but I like to gamble. So I tell them this to put them at ease. They unlock their phone, and I say, we're going to find eight to 12 hours in your phone. Every young man, every person has an advantage. They just may not know it yet. Most young people have an advantage in that is it's their human capital. They have more time than money. They have human capital. In many ways, that's very, very powerful capital. And I said, we're going to find eight to 12 hours in your phone between TikTok, X, Coinbase, YouTube. We're going to find
Starting point is 00:11:53 eight to 12 hours and I'm going to put screen limits on it. And then we're going to take that eight to 12 hours and I'm going to do three things. One, we're going to get really strong. We're going to work out three to four times a week and we're going to get really fit. I want you to be able to walk in any room and believe that if shit got real, you could kill and eat everybody or outrun them. I'm at the age now where it's about outrunning everybody. And I'm not suggesting you do that. But if you look at men who break up fights at bars, they're generally. really big strong men. If you look at men who are patriotic and defend their country and speak well of other people behind their back, they're usually strong men. So we're going to get fit. You're going
Starting point is 00:12:30 to feel better about yourself. You're going to look better naked. You're going to be more confident. You're going to be more kind. You're going to be less prone to depression. First thing we're going to do is we're going to start working out three to four times a week. Second thing, you have to start making some money. In this economy with a smartphone, you can make some money. I don't care about the task a lift driver. There are ways to start hustling. Walk into a Panera bread. You can start at 18 bucks an hour. Whatever it is. I'm not saying that's your career. I'm not saying we're not going to keep working shop, workshopping something better. But you're going to start. The way to make a lot of money, and I know this is your story, is you start making a little bit of money because you get a
Starting point is 00:13:06 taste for the flesh. And it's exciting to be able to take your parents out to dinner. It's it's exciting to be able to buy that first suit. It's exciting to be able to go on a date and have the money. And it gets those grieving lands going and you start thinking about the intersection of your human capital and money and you start making a little bit of money. And then the third thing we're going to do is three to five times a week. We're going to put ourselves in a group setting with strangers working on something bigger than ourselves. Church group, education, writing class, nonprofit, and you are going to approach strangers. You are going to learn how to open. Hey, what are you doing? Do you want to hang out this week? Do you want to go to a ball game?
Starting point is 00:13:44 Hey, do you want to have coffee with me? Hey, can we get together? Can you tell me more about your business? Hey, I heard your family does this. I'd love to learn more about it. Hey, you have to figure out a way to learn how to open because by the time you're 30, if you have not engaged, here's a scary stat. Men who have not had lived with somebody or have not been married by the time they're 30, a third of them are going to have a substance abuse problem. You need to be around people. I'm not talking. just romantically, friends, contacts, the last ad here, Google puts out a job requisition or a job opening. They get 100 resumes, literally within like minutes, and they take it down. They bring in 20 people. 80% of the time, the person they give the offer to was recommended and advocated for by someone internally. So if you don't have people inside of companies advocating for you, it's really difficult to get a good job. So what you want to do is you want to get out there. You want to be social and you want to figure out a way to be so kind, so interesting, so much fun, quite frankly, that people put you in a room of opportunities even when you're not there. One of the keys
Starting point is 00:14:57 to success is being really social. You got to learn how to be social. You got to get out of your house three to four times a week. Those are the three things I coach young men around. We're going to take human capital out of your phone and we're going to reinvest it in fitness. a little bit of money, and being social. We'll be right back after a quick break. Summer is Tim's Ice Latte season. It's also hike season, pool season, picnic season, and yeah, I'm down season.
Starting point is 00:15:32 So drink it up with Tim's ice lattes, now whipped for a smooth taste. Order yours on the Tim's app today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Support for the show. comes from Grammarly. We're all capable of great things, but it gets tricky when you're pulled in too many directions. Think about your job. There's a high-level professional work you were hired to do, but I'm guessing that the lower-level busy work can sometimes get in the way. Instead of
Starting point is 00:15:56 driving yourself mad, trying to get it all done, why not offload some of the more tedious tasks? Enter Grammarly. Grammarly is the AI writing assistant that was designed to support your most brilliant work by taking on the boring bits. You can instantly draft emails or generate outlines to get your ideas on paper. Get a jump start on your writing while still striking a personalized tone that's suited to your intended audience. According to their data, 90% of Grammarly's customers say that it has helped them save time with writing and editing communications.
Starting point is 00:16:25 My team has used Grammarly for the better part of two years, and simply put, it's made our work crisper and more cogent. Let Grammarly take the busy work off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free at Grammarly.com slash podcast. That's Grammarly.com. slash podcast. Support for the show comes from Shopify. Running a small business is a huge undertaking.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Those who have done it will tell you that in the early stages, it's not just a launch, it's also the constant hustle after you open the doors to stay afloat. But to get the most out of your online sales, you can check out Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. In fact, according to their data, 10% of e-commerce in the U.S. is powered by Shopify, and not just for small businesses, but for businesses. big names including Mattel and Jim Shark. And if you're growing an international business, Shopify has global selling tools to help you in over 150 countries. And Shopify is not just coming for
Starting point is 00:17:21 e-commerce. They also offer an award-winning point-of-sale system that connects online and offline sales all in one place. Either way, Shopify says that their data shows a 99.99% conversion rate from browser to buyer, both online and in-person. Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify. sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash profjee. Go to shopify.com slash prop G. Shopify. Shopify.com slash prop G. Oh, I mean, I love everything you're saying, which is why I'm sitting here listening rapidly. I guess the thing that you said that really made me laugh is the aqua-vela. So I was an aqua-valva person.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I could see that. I was not an All-Spice person. I still... Not hard to believe. I can still see that plastic and that blue stuff. And by the way, I put it directly on my face to burn the face, Scott. And then it was working. Yeah, after scraping the face, okay?
Starting point is 00:18:24 And so I just, it's just a brutal thing, actually, to be an aqua-valva person. But the thing I want to ask you about, and I want to get your ethos on this is the forgiveness part. Because we are, and I want people to know they're listening to this, that we have all felt it. Scott, I wrote about it in my first book. I called it Davos Envy. I walked into a cocktail party. I was 44 years old. I met Mark Zuckerberg.
Starting point is 00:18:52 He was 24. I was worth no million dollars, maybe a few. He was worth multiple billion dollars, okay? And I remember the feeling of insecurity. or inadequacy, and what did I do wrong with my life? And so even me, I'm a happy camper, I've accomplished a lot, but I want people to know,
Starting point is 00:19:18 I want to be vulnerable with you for a moment, and I want people to know that we've all felt what you've described. Have you not felt that? Because I have felt it. Maybe you're more enlightened than me, but I guess, I guess the point that I'm making is it's okay to feel it, and it's okay to get through it. And I want you to address, because
Starting point is 00:19:44 this is tied back to money, by the way. I want you to address the concept of forgiving yourself because you have to do that if you're an entrepreneur. You have to do that if you make a mistake at work. You have to do that if you made a bad decision. People get depressed out when they think about their past and they think about their decision making. And they say, oh, I made this bad decision. You know, I don't walk around with a millstone on my neck of regret thinking about the mistakes I made joining the White House or the mistakes I made during my period in the White House got me fired. I don't do that. I put that millstone of regret behind me. I have forgiven myself. How do you forgive yourself, Scott? And how do you deal with this vulnerability that I'm describing?
Starting point is 00:20:28 We're going to need a bigger boat. I mean, you're talking about, you mentioned, how old were you when you met Zuckerberg, 44, 42? I was 44, he was 24. We're 20 years apart, and we were, at that point, we were separated by, I don't know, I think we're separated by several hundred billion now, but at that point we were only separated by five or ten billion. Okay, so I'll put myself, I have so many examples of drawn here, and I'll put myself in the same age, I was, I was 42 when I had my first kid.
Starting point is 00:20:57 And when my youngest or my oldest came rotating out of my girlfriend, I was a, expecting bright angelic lights and opera singers and that I'd immediately be in love with this thing. I was so nauseous. I've never felt that bad. I've never felt that bad without throwing up and passing out. The doctors had to turn to me and say, if you go down, we're not doing anything. We're focused on, we're focused on the kid and its mother. Because they looked at me and they thought, this guy is not doing very well. And they thought it was because of that I was squeamish. And I want to be clear, I think childbirth is disgusting. I want to go back to the 60s where you're smoking a cigarette and I bring the baby out. But that wasn't it. I was so incredibly
Starting point is 00:21:45 nauseous because I felt the overwhelming emotion I had when my first son was born was not joy. It was shame. And that is, I had always found a way to make a lot of money. I'd always had a ton blessings, privilege, and I was very talented. I'm not a modest person. I think I'm a monster. I'm talented. I work hard. But I also had a lot of privilege. I had made millions of dollars. At some point, I'd been worth tens of millions. But because I always kept doubling down, always thought I could overcome anything. I always went all in. And that was the Gestalt and 90s and 2000s internet. You know, are you win it to win it? The stories of Mark Zuckerberg pushing back the offer for 30 billion, so I was all in on my e-commerce startup, red envelope. When chapter 11, three weeks before
Starting point is 00:22:31 my first kid was born, I walked into that delivery room worth negative $2 million, having had been worth 10 or 20 or 30 million at some point, several points before that. And all of a sudden I felt not only personal failure, but for the first time, my first emotion as a father was that I was failing my son. That was the first feeling I had. I get it. Failed this kid. My only job on this earth. All of a sudden, I had this new sensation. I had never felt before, and you can't explain to anybody until you have a kid. My purpose in life is to protect this thing, and the first emotion I have is failure. If I'd just been a little less arrogant, if I'd just been a little smarter, if I'd just been a little less fucking stupid, and put a couple million bucks aside,
Starting point is 00:23:21 sold some stock, not reinvested, not doubled down, not beaten my chest, and said, no, I'm going large. You go home or, you know, go big or go large. And I felt so much shame. And it was just, it was just so emasculating and humiliating. And here's the thing. Your ability, I say, forgive yourself like it's this kumbaya thing. It is. It's important just for your own mental well-being. It's also kind of the key, one of the keys to success. I mean, and I'll, we'll do a contest. I ran for sophomore, junior, and senior class presidents in high school, I lost all three times. And based on my track record, I decided to run for student body president, where I went on to wait for it, lose. I got rejected from the one college I applied to that out of 76%
Starting point is 00:24:12 admissions rate at UCLA, was one of the 24% that didn't get in. And I had to go home to my mom until I got rejected when she said, maybe you should apply to more than one school. I got in on appeal eventually. I applied for 28 jobs out of UCLA. I got one offer in Morgan Stanley because they made automatic hires, automatic hires, to people who rode crew. That's where I got my job. They decided that anyone who rode crew, varsity crew at UCLA got an automatic offer. Every other job I actually had to interview for. I got rejected. I applied to nine business schools. I got rejected by seven of the nine. I've started, I've had five businesses fail, including one go chapter 11, my first marriage ended in a divorce. I've had five TV shows. All five were canceled within weeks of
Starting point is 00:24:56 launching. I mean, my superpower is the ability, as Winston Churchill said, to move through failure without losing my sense of enthusiasm. And if you don't maintain that ability to mourn and move on, you aren't taking advantage in one of the greatest features about America. And that is, in America, we don't embrace failure. That's bullshit. But we tolerate it. I couldn't have had all this failure in Europe and kept raising money, you know, at some point, they would have said, oh, you're uninvestable. But in the U.S., as long as you're a good person, you try hard, occasionally have a win, you'll find people who will back you and come to work with you. Why is that? Because you and I have both traveled around the world. We know that that's the
Starting point is 00:25:37 case in most of these other countries. But why is the ethos about America and entrepreneurship different? I get asked, I'm living in London right now. And whenever I speak in the U.K., I'd say two-thirds of the time in Q&A, the question is some form of what are the key distinctions between the U.K. and Europe and the U.S. And there's a lot, but I would distill it down to kind of one basic feature, and that is the following. I say to them, you're the people that stayed. My mom got on a steamship about the same time my dad distinctly got on a steamship from Glasgow, her from London. They each had about $3 or $400, and they crawled across the Atlantic in a steamship over seven or eight days and landed in a place initially in Toronto where there were people
Starting point is 00:26:22 with megaphone saying, no jobs here, go home. Enormous risk. And by the way, selfish. My mother did it when her two younger siblings were in an orphanage. Her parents had already passed away. Selfish. Risk taking. And in the U.S., what you have is a DNA of risk taking that is unparalleled anywhere in the world. Maybe with the exception of China, for every business in the U.S., there are $5 million in venture capital raised, and Europe is $1 million. So there's five times the amount of risk capital available in the U.S. What is the center of risk-taking and innovation even within the U.S.? It's in California.
Starting point is 00:26:58 What are those people have in common? They left the East Coast and risked having to eat their niece across the Appalachian trailer across the Rockies or die of scurvy on their way to the West Coast because they were not only risk-takers, they were the riskiest of the risk-takers. And what do you know, the most tectonically valuable companies in history are all on the West Coast? Right. So our DNA of risk-taking is just singular. And you can have just a ridiculously fucking crazy idea.
Starting point is 00:27:33 And if you can outline a vision and tell a good story and have perseverance and maybe willing to put some of your own capital and work your ass off, you can raise tens or hundreds of millions of dollars in a ridiculously crazy idea. But sometimes those ideas end up being crazy genius. And I'd say other than China, there's nowhere else you can do that. So I think it's a full-throated embrace of risk. Your thoughts? Well, I agree with that. But before I get to my thoughts, I got to ask one quick follow.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Why it's so hard for boys then today here, if this is the, the place and you've aptly described the place. Why is it still so hard? Because a variety of features. Okay, so now we're talking specifically about boys. One, biologically, and they still don't know why, they don't know if it's pesticides or hormones, but boys are maturing later and girls are maturing earlier. Girls are menstruating earlier and earlier, boys' testicles are descending later later. It's just a strange phenomena. They haven't figured it out yet. If you have, how old are your kids, Anthony? I've got them all over the place. You know, as my older kids say, I made my own grandchildren. So I have, I have 32, 29, 24, and then I have a 10 and 7 year old
Starting point is 00:28:54 at home. So I don't know if you remember this, but my youngest is 14. He had a Halloween party at his whole class over, like 22 kids, 11, 11 girls, 11 boys. The boys are dopes. They don't even look at you in the eyes. Some of them are tiny. Of the 11 girls, three or four of them could be the junior senator from Pennsylvania. Hello, Mr. Galloway. What a lovely home you have.
Starting point is 00:29:20 I love your podcast. Well, what are you studying? Well, I'm studying. I'm really interested in physics, and I'm interning at this clinic at the NHS. And you think, Jesus Christ. I mean, and physically, literally biologically, the prefrontal cortex of an 18-year-old girl is 12 to 18 months more mature than a boys. So an 18-year-old who's a senior in high school applying to college is competing against a 16-and-a-half-year-old when she's applying
Starting point is 00:29:51 next to an 18-year-old boy. So they're literally biologically boys. They're literally biologically behind, and they don't catch up until they're 25. And then economically, or let's talk educationally. The education system is just bias against boys. A boy who, a boy in K through 12 is twice as likely to be suspended on a behavior-adjusted basis. Same exact infraction, twice as likely to be suspended if he is a boy. Five times as likely to be suspended if he's a black boy. And once a kid is suspended three times, it means they're not going to college. Think about who's in primary school. 70 to 80 percent of primary school. teachers now, female. And who does a female teacher champion with same people we would champion,
Starting point is 00:30:36 people that remind them of themselves? And what are the behaviors we encourage in education? Sit still, be organized, raise your hand, be a pleaser. You're essentially describing a girl. And when we leveled the playing field in an education system that in many ways is bias or rewards the behavior that women or females are more, have an easier time embracing. We now have 60, 40 female to male college attendance. And it may even be higher than that when you look at graduation rates because men are more likely to drop out. And then you combine it with the fact that 40 years ago, one in three jobs required a college degree. Now it's two and three. Medical schools, law schools, now overwhelmingly female. And the high-end information, higher-paying jobs are now kind of open or
Starting point is 00:31:25 have been sequestered from many of the men who aren't cut out for college. In addition, we have coterized those on-ramps to a middle class that used to exist, whether it's manufacturing jobs or even just the zeitguise in our society. What happened to metal, Ottawa and Woodshop? We got rid of them. We shamed vocational jobs, even though actually those jobs are in huge demand and well-compensated right now, kids would rather be a barista than go get vocational training and learn how to install HVAC efficient heaters. So it's by. biological, it's educational, it's societal, it's economical. And then what you have, you speedball it all with online dating, where effectively, if you have 50 men and 50 women on, say, Tinder,
Starting point is 00:32:09 46 the women show all of their attention to just four men. They all want the same dude. It's what I call Portia Polygamy. Now, those four dudes can have a date every night, which does not encourage good behavior, does not encourage long-term relationships. And the other 47, six men are shut out. A man of average attractiveness on a dating app. So one to 100, least attractive and most attractive. Number 50, he has to swipe right a hundred times to get one coffee. And then, out of five coffees, four will ghost him. The woman will reconsider and not show up or cancel. So he has to swipe right 500 times to get one coffee. So he feels rejected by females. He feels like dating is a humiliating experience. He doesn't learn the skills to go out, especially with
Starting point is 00:33:00 remote work, and establish a game in person. Do you realize 50%, get this, Anthony, 50% of 18 to 24-year-old men have never asked a woman out in person. It's rough. Think about that. They had them. And what are those skills? Show me a guy who's good in a bar. I'll show you a guy who's good in a boardroom. Those skills are hugely important. Very transferable. And if you don't, and then they don't even have the mojo, I never want to, approaching a strange woman is setting yourself up rejection. No one likes that.
Starting point is 00:33:35 No one likes that, unless you get really good at it. But what you do is you become resilient. And the way you actually get the mojo to do it, and I speak in very graphic terms, if I'd had, when I was at UCLA, there were days during the week where the only reason I went on campus and I went to class was because I thought there was a prospect, I might, meet a girl, convince her to come to my fraternity party, and at some point have sex with her. I would get so fucking horny, I would say, okay, I am actually going to take these risks. And if I'd had porn at home and on my phone, I don't know whether I ever would have taken those
Starting point is 00:34:10 risks because I just would have engaged in porn all goddamn day. I don't want to sound like these kids have something wrong with them. the low risk, low entry into friendship, discord and Reddit, trying to make money, Coinbase, or Robin Hood, or relationships with you porn lowers your risk-taking threshold to go on campus and walk up to a strange woman and say, hey, doesn't English suck? What are you doing? Oh, we have, are you going to the basketball game tonight? like to grab coffee. And if you don't establish those skills and specifically the ability to endure
Starting point is 00:34:52 rejection, try, the woman's not interested, and guess what, you're both going to be fine. And then you try again the next day and you realize, okay, this is what life is. Life is about rejection. And then figuring out, you're both going to be fine. And then occasionally someone says yes. The example I always used my friend David Frey, Dr. David Frey, dentist. Not an attractive guy, strange guy, unusual guy. David would go up to, we would walk into a restaurant, we went to UCLA together, he would walk into any restaurant, any place, he'd look around the room, any attractive woman, he'd go up whether she was with another guy, friends, and start talking to her. I remember being on the freeway going to the Rose Bowl to see a UCLA football game, and he saw an attractive woman,
Starting point is 00:35:38 and so he sped up, started honking at her until she rolled down her window and he tried to get her number on the 405 freeway. And guess what? David always had dates because nine out of ten women would be like mildly horrified. He didn't care and reject him, but the tenth would give him his number or give her number. If you want to score above your weight class economically or romantically, then get out a big spoon and get ready to eat shit and deal with rejection. And the problem is the smartest, brightest people and deepest resource companies in the world are trying to convince people you don't need to take these risks in real life.
Starting point is 00:36:13 You have a low entry, reasonable facsimile of friendship, mentorship, professional success, and sex on a screen with an algorithm. And it's creating a new species of young men that are asexual and asocial and end up depressed, obese, and never develop the skills to interview, Never develop the skills to have great friendship.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Never develop the skills and the resilience to get romantic and sexual relationships. And if they don't develop these skills by the time they're 30, it is very hard, very hard to bring them back. And then they become more prone to misogynistic content. They have people online telling them that it's women's fault. They become very nationalistic.
Starting point is 00:36:59 They start blaming immigrants. they start engaging in self-harm. Everyone pathologizes these people as being school shooters. Yes, some of them are, but you know who they're much more likely to hurt themselves. So we have this, I worry we're developing a new species of young man that is not connecting to work, not connecting to school, not connecting to women. And once they get to a certain point on their lives, they become very hard to retrain, to train up, to give those skills to them. So we, have two-thirds of people who apply for the armed services now are either too obese or too mentally unfit. So we have a real issue here around how do we level up young men such that they're more attractive to women, they're more confident, they get out more, they're better workers, they're more patriotic, they're stronger, they're more fit. Otherwise, we're going to end up, we're going to keep going where we're going and that is the most violent, unstable societies in the world have all one thing in common. They have a disproportionate number of young
Starting point is 00:38:02 men with very little romantic or economic prospects. I would argue, Anthony, that is why Trump got elected. Yeah. Anyways, I'll stop there. No, no, listen, I wanted you to go because I think the stuff is so excellent. The content is very important for people to hear. And I do think that that's a reason why Trump got elected is sort of a backlash. But in our next step, So we're going to talk about a lot of these themes, which is masculinity and family. But I think you're hearing from Scott and myself, it's okay to fail. And the more failure you're comfortable with, the more success you're going to have in life. And I've failed upward, Scott.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I have stumbled a lot in my career. But by staying in the game is the number one thing. And I think it's a big message for these people. I almost want to put my arms around. them and just like give a hug and say hey it's okay to fail i failed scott has failed all those people you're looking up to have failed uh and you got to just stay in the game thanks for joining us for this episode of lost boys if you'd like more information please go to our website wwwlossboys dot mien in our next episode scott and i talk with andrew yang businessman author
Starting point is 00:39:23 and politician who has a lot to say about why young men have been neglected and what we can do about it. Be sure to like, follow, and subscribe to Lost Boys wherever you get your podcast. And please share it with someone who cares about this or should care about this. And let's spread the word. Lost Boys is a production of Salt Media and the Casablanca Strategy Group. Barbara Fadita and Keith Suma are executive producers. Tanya Salati is our researcher. Holly Duncan Quinn and Stan Goldberg are editors. Special thanks to Christina Cicessi, Mary Jan Rebus, and Drew Barrows.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.