The Psychology of your 20s - 135. Emotional eating

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Our relationship with food is so much more psychological then it appears to be, and the evidence for that can be seen with emotional eating. Sometimes we eat as a way to process or regulate our emotions, rather than from actual hunger. This can disrupt our relationship with food and lead us to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. In today's episode, we discuss:  The psychology behind emotional eating Why we emotionally eat The impact of our hormones and stress response  How diet culture is putting food in control  The truth about intuitive eating  Tips to manage your emotional eating And more!  I also share my own journey with emotional eating and how my relationship with food has evolved in my 20s. Listen now. Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Follow me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  For help: https://butterfly.org.au/?gclid=CjwKCAjwvrOpBhBdEiwAR58-3AO4fboC3MOLarMlVv5a-GZOaOwWQVSLDtvuPrq4qOLM0zJwFiWt2xoCsHQQAvD_BwE       See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.

Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO. percent on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Look Back at it podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me.

I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people.

Listen to look back at it on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hard Way with your favorite therapist and host Kear Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor. It signals to the world that you not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that doesn't. not mean that you need to.

Listen to learn the hard way on the AHA radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, a lesbian.

Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk through

some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean is. for our psychology. Hello everybody, welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we break down the psychology of your 20s. Before we get started, in this episode, we are going to be talking about some concepts and ideas and experiences that might be a little bit hard to hear, particularly around eating disorders, weight gain, weight loss, and associated topics. Please just take a moment to check in with yourself and decide whether this is what you need to be hearing right now.

This episode is still going to be here in a few weeks, a few months. If you want to come back to it when you're in a better place to receive this information, it is obviously your choice, but I thought I would just give you a heads up. Today we are going to be talking about emotional eating. Our relationship with food is so much more psychological than we think it is so much more emotional, so much more intricate and nuanced than just hunger and fullness and nutrients and energy. Food can be used to self-medicate to manage our emotions. It has a biological impact on our mental state.

and I think with a rise in things like diet culture, it's also become really equated with ideas of self-worth and self-esteem such that it's no longer just the thing that we use to fuel ourselves. It has a much more complicated relationship with how we see ourselves and how we process our emotions. I want to be really candid here. I don't think that I personally have ever had a perfect relationship with food. I think right now where I'm at is probably the closest I've ever gotten. And I haven't spoken it much about on the podcast before because it is really vulnerable. But, you know, I grew up in the time of Thinspo and Tumblr. And for a long time, food really controlled my life in an unhealthy way, whereby I was either highly restrictive,

especially in my teen years, constantly needing to eat the right way, being worried about calories, or on the flip side, I felt completely beholden to food and to my cravings. I never really experienced hunger. I used food as a coping mechanism to elevate my mood or counter my stress or feel emotionally fulfilled when I was lonely or felt rejected. Part of that journey was to do with emotional eating, responding to what I was feeling through consumption rather than self-reflection. And I think I've come to realize that in many ways it has damaged my ability to really listen to my body.

It's also brought a lot of shame that I think is still present. Shame that I think doesn't really have a place when it comes to taking care of our bodies, taking care of our vessel, our home. So what I really want this episode to be for you is a guide to unpacking the kind of psychological distinction between emotional and physical. hunger and I want you to be able to see why your own relationship with food may have been impacted by things like diet culture, like social media, like your stress response, like childhood experiences, like emotionally charged events and big life changes. And it's impacted how we see our bodies such that we no longer really know what our bodies need. So in today's episode,

we are going to break down the very definition of emotional eating. The links to stress and biology and cultural influences. I also want to explore some of the shame that we have towards food, where that comes from, why we feel the need to eat certain foods in particular when things are distressing or when we are bored, and how to recognize that urge. As always, though, this is a show about giving you back your power through information, through psychoeducation, through science. So we're also going to discuss some of the research around kind of the road to quote unquote food freedom, how to control your emotional urge to fuel your body in a way that may not be physically or mentally satisfying.

And also kind of what the actual deal is with, you know, intuitive eating. I had my doubts around intuitive eating. I get asked to talk about it all the time. And this felt like the perfect episode to have a discussion around, you know, what that kind of. of that kind of way of eating, that way of almost dieting really does for our bodies. So there is a lot to cover and there will also be some resources in the episode description if you need them. I know that this topic can sometimes be kind of heavy but we're here to inform so please just make sure that you're in a good place to hear this without further ado. Let's get into the psychological underpinnings

behind why we emotionally eat. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong.

Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim?

Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack.

I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so you all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you finishing that sentence. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah.

For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your Podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month,

I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it.

And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross, because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth, or are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely.

And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Kear Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free, our heart radio app, Search learning a hard way and listen now.

In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in someone, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. sunlight's the greatest disinfected.

They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Marantini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until Justice. is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So what actually is emotional eating, because it's a lot more than just kind of eating your feelings, which I think is definitely a phrase we need to retire.

It feels very, very much reminiscent of those early 2000s, mean girl-esque movies where someone is shamed for just choosing to eat what they like when emotional eating is actually so much more than responding to what your body craves and fulfilling that need. I want that to be really clear. Emotional eating isn't just the opposite of eating quote unquote unhealthy or eating foods that society may deem as bad every now and again. Emotional eating is not just having a poor diet. It occurs when we eat for reasons other than hunger or physical necessity.

It's where we use food. as a way to cope with difficult feelings, uncomfortable feelings, or as a distraction to some deeper problem that's bothering us, maybe it's bothering us consciously, but more often than not, it's unconscious, it's subconscious. So emotional eating is a form of emotional regulation that becomes an automatic behavior in response to stress rather than using our mental coping skills. And although there's been some studies, including one conducted in 2016, that sometimes sees emotional eating in response to positive emotions and positive moments, I think it's mainly in relation to the moments when we are really struggling.

And the kind of shame and guilt that comes with that. So here are some examples of how this might show up in your life, how we see emotional eating in our everyday kind of dietary behaviors. Say, for example, you've just gone through a really terrible breakup. and you use food for comfort. You're really overly stressed at work, you're worried about money, you use food as a distraction, you're feeling lonely or disconnected. Food becomes a way to feel fulfilled physically when mentally or socially,

you are quite dissatisfied. There are so many other examples, each of them really, you know, very much unique to us as individuals. And sometimes really extreme. There was two researchers in 2012 who even conducted a study on emotional eating in the wake of a natural disaster. They assessed eating behavior in Christchurch, New Zealand. So our neighbors to the south, back in 2011, I believe they were struck by a really major earthquake. And the results of this study showed that women in particular reported an increase in overeating after the earthquake,

especially when they had experienced high levels of earthquake related to stress, showing how food is not just fuel, food is a way for us to process or sometimes suppress emotions. So I think no matter this scenario, the main premise is that in these situations, food loses its original purpose as something to sustain us and becomes a tool to kind of somewhat fill an emotional void that we are not. not capable of recognizing or managing in the moment. And it's not just you. It's not just you who is struggling with this problem.

The American Psychological Association estimates that around 33% of adult Americans are overeating or eating foods that they crave when they are stressed or to distract from stress. It's interesting because sometimes people go the other way. You know, during stressful scenarios, they lose all of their appetite. and they completely deny themselves food, which just kind of goes to show how eating behavior is so linked to our emotional state, but also both of those tendencies, the tendencies to perhaps overeat or eat particular foods,

and then that loss of appetite or that kind of denying yourself, sustenance, denying yourself food, both of those tendencies are not their own disorder, rather they are a symptom of disordered eating. And disordered eating is what can escalate into an eating disorder like binge eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia, but it's typically associated with eating at a regular times, being really strict with your food choices or obsessive thoughts about food, finding that you can't stop eating, feelings of guilt and shame towards your eating habits, which is often associated with labeling some foods as good and some foods as bad. I think the increasing tendency that diet culture has pushed on us to see

certain foods as pure and even virtuous and other foods as sinful or dirty or bad is so problematic and such a huge disaster for our relationship with food to be able to acknowledge that it is fuel. It is one of the primary sources of life. Nowadays it's so much more than that, which is I think. why many of us see it as something more emotional, something more mental, because suddenly it has all of these really weird links to very intangible ideas of good and bad. Food is a lot more plentiful, but it's also a lot more complicated. And so we use it to self-sove, we use it to punish

ourselves at times. We kind of use our consumption of certain foods as a proxy for our self-worth, which is why we observe those eating disorders like anorexia. Yes. there is this preoccupation with weight loss and body image and thinness, but it's also the use of food to test self-discipline because maybe we can't control what else is going on within our lives, but we can control what we eat. Something I always like to remind myself and you guys as well is that food does not have a moral label or a moral value. The foods you eat do not determine your worth as a human. It's literally an inanimate object. How can something inanimate be good or bad, it's just food. It has no deeper attachment to who you are, to what your value is.

And yet we have been convinced that to eat some foods is to be hurting our body, is to not have self-discipline, is to not care about our well-being. So of course, we have begun to treat it as a way to self-punish or to mediate our emotions. I think the easiest way we can identify when we're eating from a place of needing emotional comfort or fulfillment is by noticing the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger. So physical hunger develops over time, whilst emotional hunger comes on really suddenly, often in response to some kind of trigger that causes you to become stressed or overwhelmed. So you're looking for something to kind of mediate those emotions to make you feel better.

When we are physically hungry as well, we notice being full and we take it as a cue to stop eating. Whereas when we're experiencing emotional hunger, we really don't feel completely full until after we've stopped, until the aftermath of whatever we've just eaten and we don't feel well, we feel sick, we wish that we had kind of stopped earlier, we don't feel like we've actually given our body the proper nutrients that maybe it deserves. Physical hunger is often predictable. If we haven't eaten in the last four hours or so, maybe longer, we know that our body is going to start craving nutrients and energy, it's going to start grumbling, whereas emotional hunger is just going to happen whenever, wherever. The reason for this is that food means more to our body

than just nutrients and energy. It's cultural, it's mental, it's social. We see that in how food is a massive part of how every single culture in the world celebrates or connects. We see that in how different foods make us feel a different way. The fact that we have concepts such as comfort foods, the foods that elicit some kind of emotional reaction of either nostalgia or warmth or contentment. And then it comes down to things like taste and flavor and the impact of certain ingredients or contents, how they impact our brain, particularly through their influence on our hormones and our neurotransmitters. Essentially, both of those things are the building blocks for our everyday emotional state. So from a biological point, we all

know that we need to eat to sustain our physical well-being, but currently from all the recent studies conducted on this, we also know that it has a lot to do with pleasure. All acts of eating increases dopamine in our brains, and it lights up our reward system. But that is especially the case when we eat foods that are high in fat and sugar. Because if we think about this evolutionarily, those foods are often the highest in energy, such that they are more likely to provide us with those fat stores that previously were crucial for our survival. So our brains will create cues, internal cues, pleasure cues, to motivate us to consume these more by making us feel happier in association.

So food has this inherent impact on our brain through its impact on the dopamine system, which is responsible for the release of things like dopamine, of course, but also serotonin or oxytocin, and this is the biological basis for emotional eating. Consuming foods in order to improve our mood through that biological relationship rather than for hunger or some physical advantage. For example, when we are feeling bored, we often gravitate towards food that offer a really rich flavor profile, or we'll eat more not because of actual taste or that biological impact down the line, that because the act of eating in itself is a task that can keep our mind

entertained by chewing, by tasting, by putting things in our mouth, by swallowing, that is a physical activity. It gives us something to do. When we feel stressed, though, we often crave things that are high in carbs, high in sugar, because stress depletes our energy through the excessive release of things like cortisol and adrenaline that puts pressure on our body. So we want to build back up those energy stores. And then when we're sad, when we're heartbroken, we often have less of an appetite due to that distress and that deep hurt. So our bodies want to get the most energy from consuming as little food as possible. That means high fat, high energy, ice cream, chocolate, very much what we would call the heartbreak diet of Hollywood, what we see

in movies. But it's probably also scientifically correct. We crave these foods. because of an inconsistent release of the hunger hormone. And after a period of intense heartbreak, that means that we are more inclined to go for those sugary snacks without really understanding our hunger. A lot of these examples, as you may have gathered, have to do with attempts to rein in our stress response. And that is because the act of eating certain food groups, certain foods, and our experiences of anxiety are causally related. They're correlated in quite a multiple. multidirectional way. So firstly, according to Harvard Medical School, the foods we eat actually can mimic some of the symptoms of anxiety or stress or even panic attacks that we normally associate with

high periods of stress, especially foods high in sugar or caffeine. So whilst we might search for some type of food we think is going to make us feel better in a time of heightened anxiety, it kind of has the counter effect, makes it worse. But it's not just, what that food provides, like we spoke about with emotional eating in response to boredom, sometimes the physical act of consuming something or not consuming something using food to provide an emotional catharsis to symbolically act to fill your stomach and feel like you're fulfilling your emotional needs, that is so satisfying and it causes us to emotionally eat. And when we talk about the stress response, the experiences of fear, some studies have shown that when we eat, we provide a cue to our brain that we are safe.

You know, if we are actively in fight or flight mode trying to escape some threat, we're not going to stop for a snack. Our appetite is suppressed when we feel danger. And we are focused on overcoming whatever we are experiencing, whatever we are fearful of. but when we eat, when we force our bodies to consume something, to sit, to have a meal or a snack, our brain goes, okay, well, we can't be in immediate danger because otherwise we wouldn't be doing this right now. We wouldn't be doing this. So we must be okay. It gives your brain a cue to calm down, to stop panicking. So that is another way that stress is mediated by what we choose to eat when we choose to eat it, not from a place of physical hunger, but an emotional need.

You know, what I think that scientific explanation tells us what I think is most crucial to take from this is that we can't really blame ourselves for using food to self-medicate or regulate our emotions, nor can we just see it as an us problem, that we lack discipline, that we're weak. Therefore, I think what happens when we take on that perspective is that we self-inflict a lot of shame around the foods that we consume when we're sad or we're bored or we're overwhelmed or we're stressed because the nature of this is that this habit comes from a lot of factors outside of our control. Some of them are just innately biological, like our stress response. Others are societal and cultural and a lot of them are to do with diet culture and how our health system

approaches things like weight and things like calories and things like energy intake. Our current approach to food, especially in a lot of Western societies, has become increasingly focused on restriction or focused on, you know, nutritional and energy intake, on BMI and what is and is not a healthy weight, as well as kind of, you know, alongside that, as we see social media grow a whole series of trend or fad diets that come and go. But those diets are really all kind of telling us the same thing. There is a right way to eat and if you are not doing it this way, you're doing it wrong. It tells us that what we choose to put in our bodies needs to be carefully controlled, whether it's something like the keto diet or intermittent fasting or a raw food diet,

whatever it may be, even a juice cleanse. And you know what that does? It puts us at war with food. It completely damages and disrupts our relationship and our perception of what food is as something that needs to be regulated rather than as fuel, rather than as one of the main sources of life, alongside, you know, it's water, air, and food. Those are the three things that we really need. And I think it's really interesting because you never see someone controlling how much water they drink or trying to stop how much they breathe. But we do have this intense feeling that food needs to be disciplined. Whereas these other sources of life, we don't have that feeling. We don't feel like there's a problem.

When we feel made to put something on a pedestal like that, that is the easiest way to get something to control you. when we are taught to avoid something like certain foods, the more you want them, because they feel more important, they feel more elusive. And so when we face something like intense emotions, a lot of stress, and our impulse control is lessened because we're trying to navigate so much else, the first thing you're going to do, you're going to go and eat those foods that have previously been off limits to you. You are going to push back against the same. restriction that you have been imposing on yourself, you're not going to be aware of your appetite and you'll overeat and then afterwards you'll probably feel shame. And you'll feel that shame not

because you deserve to feel shame, but because there is so much information coming from so many sources telling you that if you binge eat, if you eat a certain food, that makes you an unhealthy person, that makes you a bad person, that eating that food is bad. And all your brain is actually trying to do in that moment is just emotionally regular. It's just trying to get you back to a safe mental place. I think part of understanding this is acknowledging that your environment is going to impact behaviours like diet based on what we've been convinced is normal or good for us. And social media is part of that environment. So we really need to de-influence ourselves a little bit when it comes to managing our emotional eating. And the best thing,

for you to do in that moment is to realize that what someone else is doing, what someone else is saying on TikTok, you know, whatever's in there, what I eat in a day video, is probably not going to be right for you. There's always going to be some fad diet or craze or new way to fuel your body or lose weight and that leads us to form an unhealthy relationship with food, one that is not based on feeding our body with what it needs, but intertwined with things like our self-worth, our self-esteem, our sense of value. It's more based on our mood, particularly how we use food once again to make us feel better or make us feel worse depending on how we're feeling in the moment. That's why we emotionally eat. We feel like eating is no longer this natural thing.

It's this has this bigger, deeper, deeper role, has this bigger, deeper meat. rather than just its normal natural purpose to fuel our bodies. I want to state again, I know I just spoke about it, but there really shouldn't be any shame around this if this is a behavior that you find yourself engaging in. Like I said, it's something that I've acknowledged I do quite a bit, and I used to think that meant I was weak, or that I didn't care about my body, that I should have had more control.

And what I realized now is that that was really the influence of diet culture, being the angry little kind of devil on my shoulder. You know, this tendency comes from so many things outside of our control, but they make us feel like food controls us, makes us feel like what we're putting in our body is necessary for handling our emotions. And that can have a lot of impacts. You know, emotional eating can have really distressing effects by leading to feelings of guilt, but it can also make us feel really ill or it can give us a big sugar crash a few hours later. It can leave us feeling drained. As one nutritionist put it in her article about this subject, which I'll link in the description, it's really fascinating. One of the issues with emotional

eating is that it affects, of course, how you feel physically, especially when we overeat because it reduces our energy levels, it can cause headaches, it generally just causes some discomfort. And we're not really resolving the problem, so we're just kind of at a loss loss. So how can we have that more intuitive relationship with the things we're putting in our body and notice the emotional triggers or causes of our dietary behaviors. How can we remove food as a coping mechanism and replace it with strategies that are probably more productive and sustainable in the long run that are going to leave you just feeling better? Well, all of that and more after this short break. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available.

I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam Jett. And I'm Alex English.

Each episode, we pick a here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 was big to me, not just because of crime. crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now.

Thank you finishing that sentence. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your Podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast,

Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark.

Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it. And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,

because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on Earth? Are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Kear Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing,

growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free, our heart radio app, Search learn the hard way and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in someone, correct?

I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, the lesbian, Michael Marantini. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until Justice. is served in Arizona.

Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get one thing straight and clear. Right now. Sometimes you've had a rough day. And that just really calls for some meat parades, some pizza, an iceberg, some ice cream. There is nothing wrong with that. You don't need to feel guilt about wanting a certain food. As long as it's not masking and underlying emotional need that you're not fulfilling.

but food can be really comforting and maybe the exact thing that you need in that moment to energize yourself to restore those levels. We also naturally experience cravings for certain foods that don't have an emotional basis, even if they are psychological. And I want to explain that a little bit further. So cravings are an intense, specific desire for a certain type of food, and it's in response to needing a certain kind of nourishment that our bodies are maybe not getting, but they also come from our environment,

like advertisements which are deliberately created in a specific way to target you, to make you want something, to make you buy it. So sometimes that can get confusing because we don't actually know what our body is needing. We are being queued by our environment. We do have those emotional needs, and sometimes our body just needs that nourishment.

It's kind of impossible, right? You know, on one side, the side of diet culture, we're being influenced to always make perfect decisions towards food as if there is actually a date, definition of perfect or that means anything. And then on the other side, this mass marketing side, they're trying to get you to buy that burger to buy that chocolate bar. Those constant opposing narratives makes it so once again, food is no longer just food. So how do we ignore all of that? How do we tap into what our bodies actually need? And what is the role of emotional eating in that

equation. Firstly, I don't think that demonising certain foods or restrictive eating is going to help you at all, especially if what you're struggling with is emotional eating. It just doesn't work for most people because A, it assumes that your behavior is due to a lack of self-control, therefore it's something that you need to restrict, which just is not the case. B, you're using food to fight an emotional problem. And so it's the emotional problem that we need to work on, not the actual food consumption. So restricting is only going to elevate that emotional stress because it's just one more thing to manage, one more thing to control. Eating may feel good in the moment. Restricting may feel like you're doing something, but the feelings that triggered you to emotionally eat are still going to be there.

And finally, demonizing imposes shame. When we think that we've slipped up, we get stuck in the shame cycle of, why did I do that? I feel so guilty. I have no self-control. And rather than just realizing that there's a lot more going on there than just self-discipline, maybe you're lacking the deeper coping skills and you just don't have them yet. What you're really doing is just making yourself feel once again guilt. You're making yourself feel guilty for something that perhaps you've only just started to recognize something that comes from a lot of deeper factors that is going to take work. And I think it's just identifying that you can cope in a way that's going to leave you feeling better in all facets and areas of your life, not just by reducing

that current feeling, but feeling more capable of handling all of those future situations where you're going to be stressed, you're going to be sad, you're going to be tired, and food doesn't have to be your only solution. So in terms of overcoming navigating emotional eating, the first thing we really need to do is identify our emotional triggers. The biggest one is without a doubt, stress. When we experience chronic stress, as is so often in our 20s when we got a hundred whole lot of things on our plate, financial stress, relationship stress, career stress, all of that and more. Your body produces high levels of the stress hormone known as cortisol.

So cortisol triggers cravings for salty, sweet, fatty foods, foods that are going to give you a that burst of energy and that burst of pleasure. The more stress, particularly uncontrolled stress you have in your life, the more likely you are to turn to food for emotional relief. So we need a better way to deal with that. one that is more mental, one that is more cognitive based in our thoughts. The best way that I have found to manage this is by doing something called a brain dump, which is the act of just writing everything down that's going on in my brain without judgment,

without prejudice, putting those emotions out there. You know, I always say a problem written down is a problem halved. Other ways to manage stress is to find an outlet for that excessive cortisol that is causing you to emotionally eat. because cortisol is really just your body's hormonal response to danger. It's released from our adrenal glands. It's a steroid hormone. It gives you more energy to fight your stresses. It releases more energy for you.

So directing that into something that's going to use those sources up, use that excess amount up that's going to make you physically exhausted or mobile is great in those situations. My recent favorite has been box. I cannot shut up about it if you are a close friend of mine. I'm obsessed. I'm addicted. And, you know, there's really nothing like punching a bag over and over again to give yourself an emotional release and to use up that excessive cortisol in your body. But running, cycling, pick your poison. It's all good. But especially if it's aerobic exercise rather than anaerobic exercise, that kind of cardio that's going to get your heart rate up. It's going to allow you to use more energy.

and all of that energy is just energy that's not being placed on your mind, energy that is being released from your body in a positive way. Also, when you know that you're kind of entering into a stressful season or period of life, this may be hard, this may not be something that you feel capable of doing, but I would definitely say reduce how much caffeine you're consuming. Caffeine not only impacts our appetite, but it also makes and heightens those levels of anxiety. I actually no longer drink caffeine at all for that very reason. It just made me so much more stressed. Even though it would increase my focus and concentration,

you know, it also meant that I wasn't in control of my energy levels. And I would plummet or I would be either too high or too low. I'd need to eat food to kind of bring me back in the middle. And nowadays, I don't find myself as depleted at the end of the day. Needing that sugar rush, that, you know, that fat rush, that carb brush, that carb brush to push me back up. I can kind of listen to my body bender rather than trying to use something external to release or heighten or decrease my emotions. The next trigger I think most associated with emotional eating is boredom. You know, when you're having a little lazy day

at home and you keep opening the fridge, closing it, opening the pantry, you're not really hungry, right? You're just wanting something to do. That might seem innocuous, but that is emotional eating. Eating in response to your emotional state, that being boredom. Food is a way to occupy your time and your mind. So instead of needing to find excitement in food, in taste, in flavor, look externally for something to do. Go for a nice long walk. Call a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. That is always so lovely. Do some life admin. Whatever it may be, I think it's important. Obviously, if you want a snack, go for it. But what we want to break here is this cycle of disrupting our natural hunger for emotional hunger.

And boredom can really interrupt that relationship and those cues that we receive from our body. If you're exhausted, take a nice bath, put on some candles. If you're lonely, engage in some nostalgic TV shows or movies, you have no idea how comforting that is. And just realize that you do have the agency and the mental strength to regulate your own emotions in a way that feels healthy, in a way that feels good. for you. Secondly, to identify those triggers, we need to be curious. If I'm not eating for hunger, what am I feeling here? And understanding the why, why am I feeling that? And why do I feel compelled to eat when I might not necessarily want to in this moment? So I would say time is really important here. Pause when those cravings hit and ask yourself, could I put off eating for five or

10 minutes. Is it real hunger that I'm experiencing? Is this mental or physical? And you make the decision from there. It's okay to appreciate the impact that food has on your mood because it's a scientific one that serves a purpose. And to hold off completely, like we said, starts a pretty severe cycle of restricting. So savor don't consume. When we emotionally eat, we tend to do so very quickly and sometimes without even tasting the food. But by slowing down, A, we learn not to fear the feelings that make us want to emotionally eat and just enjoy food when we want it. Food is not something that is on a pedestal.

Food is not something that you're not allowed to have. And B, it actually allows us to listen to physical hunger instead of emotional hunger. Also, eating a nutrient-dense quality diet has associations with minimizing our risk of some of those mental health effects and experiences that we are trying to regulate with food. So there was a 2019 study that showed eating a greater variety of nutrients and vitamins is associated with a better mood, reduced risk of depression, and a lot of other benefits. Food is fuel, food is energy, food is a resource, it's not something that A needs to control you, B needs to be restricted, or C needs to play any other part in life.

There's also been a lot of buzz recently behind this idea of intuitive eating. And honestly, I wasn't sure whether to talk about this because at first glance, I was kind of like, is this just another fad diet? You know, especially when Gwyneth Paltrow is a big proponent, I'm a little bit skeptical. But I did my research and I do think it's really valuable to speak on because for some it is a solution. It treats food the way that I think a lot of us should be treating. it and it does move us towards a better relationship with what we eat. So intuitive eating, the key principles of this is basically kind of the antithesis of restrictive consumption.

It's about rejecting the diet mentality, which we ate plus for that, big tick of approval, honoring your hunger, once again important when we're trying to counter emotional eating, feeling your fullness, respecting your body, treating it with kindness and compassion and not shame. It's really about eating according to the cues that your body is giving you and about what it needs and wants rather than according to your emotions, to some deeper perspective on what you should be eating. If your body wants carbs, give it carbs. If it wants a big old salad, give it salad. Go for it. Have some sugar. Have some salt. All of those things we've been told to avoid for some misinformed reason have a place, but it's about balance, it's about once again being intuitive.

I think one of the major benefits, according to some studies published in the National Library of Medicine, is intuitive eating is just somewhat better for our psychological well-being, because we're eating in accordance to our biological urges and what is natural for us, rather than according to something that a diet is trying to tell us to do or to kind of the rollercoaster of our emotions. People experience fewer amounts. fewer levels of food guilt or shame. They have improved body image. But to eat intuitively, you really need to relearn the distinction that we've been saying this whole time. Physical hunger and emotional hunger. You need to trust that feedback loop between your stomach and your brain,

because our bodies have an exceptional, finely tuned way of telling us what we need nutritionally, biologically, hunger-wise, rather than just emotionally. And what's really happening, I'm going to say it one more time, when we emotionally eat, we no longer see food as fuel, we see it as a way to regulate our emotions to make us feel better, but only temporarily, only in the moment. I want to finish of this episode by just restating a few key points here. Firstly, emotional eating does not make you a bad person. it does not make you faulty and of course it's subjective as to whether you think that's a problem for you.

Sometimes what we think we are controlling is emotional eating when really it's just actually restriction and avoidance. If you find your behavioral intentions towards food or about controlling your calories or your weight, that I think is more in response to diet culture than I think emotional eating. I think that emotional eating is only part of the problem there because you, you have been restricting yourself too much, avoiding it too much, that food has now been put on this pedestal such that when your emotions are heightened, you are more inclined to go for them because you have less impulse control. Secondly, this is obviously just my advice and my perspective on this and my research.

There are different perspectives and different opinions. And you have agency when it comes to decisions you want to make towards your diet and how you process your emotions. But I do think that we can benefit from feeling like we are in control of our behaviors, whether that has to do with eating or exercise or spending or self-destructive behaviors, whatever it may be, you are in control of them. We do not want food to feel like it controls us. And like we have no power to stop or to start.

And thirdly, I just sincerely hope that you enjoyed this episode and that you feel informed. I think these things are rarely spoken about in a modern day culture that is obsessed with things like diets and fads and right or right. wrong and weight loss and calories. Our relationship with food is so much more psychological than we think. And I hope that that comes across and that you're able to look at your own eating habits and see when you're responding to emotional hunger instead of physical hunger. And if you want to make a choice around that, be, have the agency, have the information to be able to do that. So thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I really do hope that you enjoyed it. this is something I'm learning with you. I find that talking about this is so interesting when I talk

about it with friends and family. And you really do examine how mental your dietary habits are. It's something that I think I've been learning the better my relationship with food has become. So I hope that you got something out of this. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, please give us a follow if you want to be notified when new episodes come out. Please also feel free to leave a five-star review wherever you get your podcast if you're listening on Spotify. on Apple, Google Podcasts, whatever your cup of tea is, please feel free to give us a five-star review and give us a follow at That Psychology Podcast on Instagram. If you have an episode suggestion, you just want to see some behind-the-scenes content, some video clips. We've got it

all over there. So we will be back next week with another episode. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. I'm on my podcast, 2%. I break down the signs of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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