The Psychology of your 20s - 152. Impulse shopping and retail therapy ft. Al from Two Broke Chicks

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Impulse shopping in an experience we've all had, the feeling of buying something you know you don't really need, but you want it desperately in the moment. Often during this decade we begin earning "adult money" for the first time and that means we can begin spending as a way to emotional regulate. Had a bad day? Buy a new pair of shoes. Been through a breakup? Shopping spree. There are so many ways that companies encourage this behaviour through flash sales and low stock sales, creating a sense of urgency and getting us to spend. So, in today's episode we break down the psychology behind impulse shopping and retail therapy.  We are joined by Alex from the hit podcast, Two Broke Chicks, to provide us with the dos and don'ts of shopping and overspending in our 20s, breaking down the emotions behind buyers remorse, and how to be wiser with your money during this decade.  Follow Two Broke Chicks: https://www.instagram.com/twobrokechicks/?hl=en  Follow Alex: https://www.instagram.com/alexhourigan/?hl=en  Listen to Two Broke Chicks: https://open.spotify.com/show/3d4z5FXeXAtmmP6DPhkpzw?si=aefc278962e64b1b  Follow The Psychology of your 20s: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma: @jemmasbeg   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe, on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. everybody, welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another December guest episode. And today we're bringing on someone who is not just amazing, but is also a pretty close friend and a podcaster, half of the true broke chicks. We have our. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

What an intro. Thank you. You're welcome. Flushing. thank yes I don't know why I'm so I don't know why I feel so awkward doing this considering that this is not even our first this is like our third episode that we've ever done like together either on your show or my show and then we also like we talk all the time and we have an office space together and yet it's like I'm sitting here it's because we're professional talking yeah I guess so I feel like it's like we need it like more yeah it's professional we're being professional and it's like because we have an audience yeah whereas most of the time when we're just talking We're just talking smack.

Yeah. But it's always smart smack. I'm not going to lie. Like sometimes we'll be like debriefing in the office and we'll give each other advice. I'm like, that's good stuff. Yeah, that is. I'm like, I'm like, we need to write that down. I'm actually, honestly, I honestly, I've like stolen things that you've said to me and put them

on the podcast because I'm not that wise all the time, right? No one is. Yeah. I need the wisdom to come from an outside source. I've done the exact same. I've been listening to like your podcast. I'm like, actually good. tip. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to use it. I'm going to repurpose. Yeah. Which honestly is great because I do

also feel like, so you guys talk a lot about like your 20s obviously, but also like the intersections with like money and like, you know, certain like social and like cultural phenomena and changes that are happening. But the big focus is on like finance and like managing your money or your expectations around money and your like relationships better. In our 20s. And a big part of that that I think is really important to discuss as we're like entering into the holiday season. But really at all times and just coming out of Black Friday, Cyber Monday, is impulse shopping. Yeah.

Impulse shopping is a huge one because I think in our 20s for the first time we're like making like adult money. And we can like kind of start to afford the things that as children and as teenagers we needed to ask our parents for or they were kind of like luxuries. and if you've never like learned to budget or have that like proper financial literacy, your spending can get like quite out of control. Yeah. Like, and I so I really want to focus on that like the ways that we use like impulse shopping, retail therapy, overspending to like self-soothe. I feel like you, have you had experiences with this?

You know I have. I know. I was setting it up. I didn't want to be like, tell me about. Set me up. No, good, good, good. I like it. I like it.

No, it's true because even with, you know, we've been doing. who broke chicks for two years. And we kind of started very general. Like we were in a lot of niches, which we still are. But I think it's gone to show how much we kind of need to open up the conversation around shopping, spending and money with, you know, how much our audience has wanted that in the last year especially. I think what on what you were saying as well, unless you've learned how to budget and spend, like you're not going to be very good with your money because you don't know how. But you're also not taught so it's up to you to self teach like yourself because not a lot of us have had parents that you know sat us down and was like this is how much you save or they did and then once we move out

and we don't have that adult influence and we are the adult we don't really know how to do it and it becomes really overwhelming and then I think with impulse shopping and Christmas season there's like two ways to think about it because you're either spending for you're yourself and you're like, oh, do you know who would like that? Me. Or you're shopping for other people. And so there's two things that I like to think about when I'm thinking about impulse shopping, especially at Christmas time.

And the first one is that you can't buy your own validation. Like you can't buy self-confidence. You can't buy like you then magically thinking that you're like the hottest shit in the whole entire world. So whenever you're like, oh, I've got to go. out this weekend, I need to buy something. That's not going to fix it because there's going to be another weekend. And that I think that insecurity is never going to be dulled by something that you buy online. It does, does help in the moment. I'm not going to lie. Because I do that all the time.

I'm like, I have this event. I don't feel like I have anything that I feel hot into wear and I would buy something. And then it's just this like toxic cycle. And on the other hand, with other people, because we have like enough money to spend we kind of want to seek and buy their love or admiration or maybe you get a bit competitive with siblings at Christmas time that you want to get like the best present or do you do you remember that episode of the office did you ever watch the office? I did. Yeah. I know exactly which one. And Michael buys the iPod. Yeah and he's like you can point to this dollar value and be like I love you this much. I digrained in my brain. Exactly. But I think and And again, I myself have had this in the past where I buy people so much stuff because I think

that's how I can tell them that I love them and that that will make them love me too, which is a love language. But gift giving is not the highest price tag that you can spend on someone. Gift giving is like the thought that if, you know, they really like cooking, you could make them a rub, like a meat rub thing. Oh, a meaty rub. I don't really cook a lot with me. So that came out of nowhere.

That was actually pretty good. Look, like a cookie dough, okay, you know, paprika, you could make them their own, like, yeah, you go to the local, like, go to the local, like, paper or, like, office supply store and make them like a cookbook of, like, the favorite recipes that they've ever made to. Exactly. Or, like, even a photo frame with a nice photo of it. Yeah.

In there. And I think, as well, what I do each year now is I, like, haven't listed my phone of a notes app and it's, like, got the budget per person. and then I plan out every gift. Like before I buy it and then I go find that gift. So it's like I'm not just like shopping around. I don't just go on to like the David Jones website open gifts for him and then just start scrolling.

Yes, that's dangerous. Is going to hurt. Yeah. And I think it's, it is going to hurt, especially when you're doing it for like five, six, seven people. And it's so interesting because I think Christmas is,

or like the holidays when we're recording this is obviously like a big time when our budgets just like go out the window because there's such an expectation to shop to shop big there is very subtle ways that every company in this world is trying to convince you to spend more money right now but then i think so it's kind of more understandable during the holiday season but i think impulse shopping during like the every like everyday life also comes down to a lot of like a lot of what it means to be like in the in-group so in the sense of like buying trendy clothes to kind of like perform for other people is something that I think especially in our 20s we have to be wary of and part of the influence of that is social media it like it really creates

like a entire like psychological system of like social comparison yeah well we've spoken about this like the amount of times I've been like I hate my clothes yeah and I feel great in them but it's because I'm constantly scrolling and seeing people who are super fashionable. And so I buy in order to make myself not just feel better, but to like almost suppress the sense of like. Yeah. It's like acceptance because we're all humans and we're so scared of rejection that it's like even words like Chuggy that started trending.

Chuguey, I don't. Chugie was like this thing and it was like, I think Gen Z came up with it. I don't know. But it was like, Chugie is like cringe. So if you do these things, cringe or if you wear these things now they're cringe and it would be like just pieces of clothing that used to be trending but now they're chugy oh okay and it was like the and you know what business is probably froth this shit because it means that their quick tone over is just going to make them more

and more money of like being able to sell you more and more stuff um which is why I love the development of a capsule wardrobe by the way oh I was just about to say it's really interesting because I think like each year. You did an episode on this, which I really would actually recommend people go and listen to called Women Are Not Trends, which is amazing. Oh my God, I could talk about this phase. Exactly. And it's so links to things like overspending retail therapy, Impulse Shopping, because especially like women are taught that like every like six months there is a new definition of the it girl. There is a new definition of like what is hot. And each of those versions comes with a different outfit, comes with a different makeup look, comes with different accessories.

Yeah. Whether it's like clean girl or like messy girl. I love my shit at to me. Tomato Girl. Tomato Girl was when I like put my foot down and I think I had a full blown tantrum in the podcast studio that day because I was like, this is fucked. Oh, what is it? I actually, I remember listening to this. Isn't it like the kind of ready makeup and like, no. So that's strawberry girl makeup. Oh, that's strawberry girl. So tomato girl was like the Europe girl, which again, it's all marketing because this, this tomato girl trend came out when every Australian except me went to Europe. I was also in the same. It was actually kind of rude. I felt like I was back in high school and I was like guys can I sit with you and they said no we're in Europe.

But it was like the girl who wears a headscarf with linen and takes her book to the park. I'm like so you're wearing linen and you're reading a book like it's just it's and it's hot. Of course you're going to wear linen. Everyone wears linen when it's hot. So it's just these things that they invent, like you said, the it girl. And we then have to kind of fit the mold because there is definitely certain criteria to all of these trending girls, which is just yuck. Like it's just, and it is to convince you to be like, oh, you want to be a vanilla girl? You have to go buyugs and you have to go buy a cream Stanley cup.

And all the items that are, you know, in that stencil of this woman are all very expensive items as well. Yeah. And then look at Frank Green. Like everyone's talking about Stanley Cups now. Yeah. Whereas last year and Yeties, whereas last year everyone was frothing Frank Green.

And the year before it was like camelbacks. Yeah. Like every year. Yeah. So it's no wonder that people feel the need to kind of purchase items as a way to kind of fill a part of their identity that people are constantly asking them to change. And that if you're like behind,

you're going to get called Shuggy. Like you want to adapt to like, like what is being shown to you, not just on social media, but in your like, just like everyday environment as well. The other factor that I think we really need to talk about is how, like, how companies, how brands create a sense of loss aversion.

So I think a lot of people have problems with impulse spending and they see it as a self-discipline problem rather than the fact that they live in, within a context, within like a current modern day that is. constantly encouraging you to buy things either through like the creation of trends or it girls or social media and social comparison but also through things like a lot of these really amazing I will give them credit like cognitive tools that manipulate you so telling some things are going to sell out I like that from you actually yeah I want you to tell me yeah okay so there's

actually a word that I can't remember that brands use it's like an end of year consumer right And so they discuss this person because basically we're at the end of the year and we kind of stop caring about money and then we go, I'll just deal with it next year. We kind of like, you know, let our inhibitions go with our spending. And we just spend and spend and spend and we kind of get ourselves in a whole. And we're like, do you know what, I'll just dig myself out of it next year. We put everything on afterpay and then we're like, I'll pay it off next year.

It's like that's a problem for next year where it's like, no, it's a problem for now. And so there are a couple things that brands and marketers do to kind of convince this end of year consumer to spend their money. One is a flash sale. So anything that's like 50% off one hour only, especially when they've got like a countdown on the site. So that you, you know, you think, oh my God, because it's this fear of missing out. It's a fear of missing out on a good deal and that bragging rights of an item that you probably didn't even know that you wanted. Like if you, and I say, if you know that you've wanted, you know, a Dyson hot cool air purifier for the last six months, but you've really been waiting for a good sale.

And that sale happens and it's an hour only, sure. Like, sure, go by that. You know you wanted that. But if you're, like, buying a pair of pink snake skin cowboy boots, which honestly, like, I sound like I would love that. I know. Like, I'm like smash. But if I'm only buying them just because I've seen that sale, I probably don't need them. Like I didn't know that I wanted that.

So yeah, it's this this sense of urgency that really kickstarts you into shopping and spending money. And what it does is it forces you to open up the sales section. And then you're going to keep scrolling. And when you're there, it's the second tactic, which is spend this to get free shipping. And so we all love Gilma. But if you need to spend $50 to get free shipping, which was $5, you're going to just end up buying crap. don't need. Like if, again, if you're doing a Christmas shopping on like the iconic and you can do, you know, a bunch of shopping in one place and it's for multiple people, stunning, amazing, brave,

love that. But if you're just shopping because you're like, I've got to find something to get free shipping and it's not even a gift for anyone. I've done this. It's, oh, we've all done it. I do it all the time and I still check myself and I'm like, wait. And it's so easy to just get wrapped up in the dopamine hit of it. Yeah. Because it is fun. It's fun. It's fun. to shop. And also you feel like you're saving money. Like that is the the appeal of the sales section is in your mind and there is there is actually a term for this and I've completely forgotten it. But basically your brain is doing like the calculation of what this could have cost you if you bought it three weeks ago such that actually now you're up because you're buying it three weeks later at a

discount. That's what it reminds me of. It's like gambling. It's like how where can I get this so that I And when we have systems like gambling or systems where like you're getting variable reward or dopamine from something or a sense of like you're winning from a purchase, that is in many ways going to hardwire your brain to make decisions that probably aren't in your best interest. Like I love the example you said of like if there has been a period of time that you've really wanted an item, take advantage of sales. But I also think that the flash sales like you were talking about provide us. with a lot of instant gratification that we're very used to getting from everything else in our society. Instant gratification from our phones. Like instant gratification from express shipping. Like all of these things are like, you can get it now.

You can have it now. Low stock. Yeah. It's like low stock or like isn't returning. Yeah. Or what happens? And this was Sal's tip actually in that episode that she learnt from Brittany Saunders who has baked the label. Yeah.

She's amazing. I love her. I'm a big fan girl obsessed. And she was saying that brands will be like not returning or it will return. Like it'll come back in stock and it'll be like like this sale is the final sale. Like it's never coming back. But because it didn't sell out and they had heaps of stock left over. So they said it sold out. It didn't really sell out.

But they're just tricking you to think that there's this demand for this item because we all want to be on trend and not toogy. or cringe or out of date. And it's just really exhausting because if you constantly are chasing a trend or a type of girl that TikTok is, you know, deeming the it girl of the month, you will never actually develop a sense of self. And I have fallen into this as have many other women and men and humans in general of, you know, that fear of rejection and not quite knowing who they are

because they're constantly adjusting themselves to be that. And it's where you develop this idea of like your style uniform. And I think it's really good to be able to identify the things that it's kind of the same as a capsule wardrobe. But when we say capsule wardrobe, we think like blue jeans, white teas and a black blazer, which again, love that. I was going to say that's literally your go-to outfit. I know. That is my go-to. It's a grey men's laser from Deep Up and I love her.

I once spilled oil on her. It was a bad day that day, but I got it out. Wow. Thank you. That's amazing. But my capsule wardrobe also includes vintage banties and cowboy boots. Yeah. Like if I'm going out on the weekend and I'm just going to chuck on a banty, some cowboy boots,

and I'm going to be so comfortable and I feel really hot in it. I feel like a badass. Also like sparkles. Like it doesn't have to be plain to be part of like how you see your style. And I think it's something that happens the further we get into our 20s where we're like, I actually don't want to dress for others anymore. And I don't want it to be. And I know that we're talking a lot.

lot about clothes, but it really is with anything, you know, like, skincare with, like, products in your home, with, like, interior design, with new cars, like, everything that you are being convinced to buy is not going to feel a void of who you are. Being like, I hate myself, I'll buy a concealer. Yeah. Like, that's not going to help, babe. It might make you feel a little better. Well, this is the big thing that I also want to talk about, which is retail therapy.

Obviously, that is deeply psychological. cool. We use a lot of different tactics to kind of create euphoria, like artificial euphoria and joy for ourselves. And anything that creates dopamine, as we've explained, shopping does, can be kind of, not manipulated, but like can be disturbed in our brain. We can get addicted to like the wrong types of dopamine. Yeah. It's like, I think that's why TikTok and social media and shopping are so closely linked because they both give you dopamine. So that's why it's so easy. to transition between the two. So it's like, okay, you see the new trending skincare or beauty item, which again, they always tend to be like high end or expensive. There's definitely some like drugstore

or juke's like coming out right. But it's like, like, Dyson. Like Dyson is $900 and it's like the hair product. It's like the it's the hair product you buy. It had great sales on Black Friday that I was like, go. If you want it, you buy it. We're not seeing a sale like this again for a while. But, it's like that's become the product to buy for hair right but that's really expensive like if you went like pre-tick-tock times i don't think there would be many people that were spending nine hundred dollars on a hair styler and it's because like we see all this stuff and we're getting the dopamine from tic-tok as we're scrolling and then we we open up the shopping and we're still in that dopamine high and then it's kind of like we're chasing it being like oh the

if I don't buy it, that dopamine goes down. And this isn't a conscious thing, but this is like the cycle that's happening of why we see something. We open the link or we open like whatever internet app there is and we buy it straight away. Oh my God, because I've done that and you know I've done this. Well, we were speaking about this recently. I had like a really terrible week.

And I really wanted a pair of Adidas stambas. And I said in the back of my mind and I said this to you, I was like, I know that these. are going to go out of style in about six months. Like, I know it. I know it. And I was telling myself again and again, like, don't buy these. Don't buy these.

They're just another trending shoe. Yeah, they look great right now. But the reason you think they look great is because it allows you to fit into like the trend, the uniform, the vision of the day. And then I had a really terrible day. Obviously, my like, my mood was low. My dopamine levels were low. And I was like, you know what?

You know what's going to make me feel better is a new purchase. as an impulse buy is some retail therapy because it's going to provide me with not just a dopamine hit but a sense of control, a sense of agency that like, yes, all these other things in my life might be really difficult, but I can place this new item in the center and then I feel like there's a new thing in my life to be happy about. It's so deeply like emotional. I get it though because as well there are moments that I'm like, just do it. Like yeah, like if you want to like if you've had a really crap week. Yeah.

But I think knowing that this isn't going to fix it. Like this isn't going to like, you know, if you broke up with your partner and you're heartbroken and you really just want to feel something nice and you want to buy something, I'm kind of like, okay, but within reason. Like we're going to go with like a cute little $30 purchase. We're not going to go with like something really expensive and we're not going to make a habit out of it. I think knowing the things that you can do to kind of get that control back.

that isn't shopping is really helpful so that you don't get in that loop. So for example, I absolutely froth like a Pinterest scroll. Like Pinterest is like play shopping to me. Oh, that's such a good way to play. Yeah, like it's like I feel like because I love scrolling through and like looking at things on sale and looking at things I want and thinking about how I would style them because I do genuinely just love fashion and beauty and it is such a passion of mine. But I'm not a Kardashian and I can't just sit there and scroll and buy, unfortunately.

I do think I was meant to be one, but I think something just got messed up. Yeah. Yeah. I think like someone filed something wrong upstairs and then. Yeah, I do see that happening. Yeah. It's fine. We'll figure it out in the next lifetime.

You'll come back as like Stormy's baby in like 50 years. Oh my God. It's not weird to say. She's still child. I'm like, I'm still alive and I see like a picture of you in like the magazine. I'm like, that baby looks very familiar. Yeah. The baby starts throwing up like the horns and like singing ACD.C.

and you're like, shit. Rubbing my eyes. You know what? She said she was going to do it. She did it. Everyone's going to call me crazy. Yeah, they're like, it's Alex and they're like, all right, time for gym to go have some chats. Time for her.

Yeah. But like Pinterest shopping is so good because you can kind of make, believe, shop and see what you already have. Like I feel like a lot of the items that are going to be coming up on your Pinterest are probably items that you already have in your wardrobe. So you can see all the things that you already have in your wardrobe. So you can see all that. the different ways that you can style it and get like that cost per wear from your shopping and make cute little Pinterest boards and it really helps me also understand items I want because if I have saved like I had a thing recently that I really wanted a pair of like lace just like plain black lace pants

to like style with a black blazer over the top. That would have been really cute. Right. And so I was like, oh but I don't know if I'm going to wear them a lot. And for like a month I've just been saving pins of like these just lace pants and I'm like, okay, I want these. Like I know. And I've got so many different ways to style them in my Pinterest board that I know I want them. And I kind of didn't make the knee jerk purse purchase because I was doing it on Pinterest and I was having like a Tee fun little girly time on there. You're getting your dopamine and you're also getting your sense of control.

And you're also getting like you're doing your research. Yeah. Also the other thing I would do is like go clean something. Like if you're feeling really shit and you're there and you just won't buy something, I would like just go wipe down your bench top. Yeah. or like just vacuum something. My roommate was so, my old roommate was so good at this,

good slash bad that like at 9.30, she would just start vacuuming. And I would be like, like I was awake, so it's fine. But I'd be like, are we good? And she was like, I need to control something. And I was like, okay, that's fine. That's good edge. But then you also get the satisfaction and like all the good brain juices from having like a clean space.

And I reckon half the purchases you think about making, if you go and do something else, whether it's, you know, read a book for 30 minutes, clean your space. Clean your water about. Yeah. That's a really good one. Because honestly, who likes doing washing and you're just going to keep buying more and more? I'm speaking from experience.

Particularly underwear. And you've got nowhere to put it. And it just keeps coming out. And then you just have a messy room all the time and it's the worst. Yeah. So yeah. I love that. We're going to take a little bit of a break.

But when we come back, I really want to talk about how you can tell whether it's an impulse purchase or a need. and the experience of buyer's remorse. So we'll be back with you shortly. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%,

I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory.

We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs?

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Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All righty. So obviously, when we're really aware of our tendency to impulse by, sometimes we can actually go in the opposite direction. Where we never spend money, we become very frugal. That can come at the expense of like spending money on things that are necessary, spending money on, you know, experiences with friends. But I really do want to focus on items that you actually need. So how can you kind of tell the difference between an impulse purchase and a need? So similar to what I was saying before, an impulse purchase is something that hasn't even dawned on you that you want it. Like you've seen this one thing and you're like, I need that. And again, there are times that maybe you do need that thing.

But I don't think anyone should make a knee jerk reaction within 24 hours on something. So the best thing you can do in life, shopping, relationships with yourself is sleep on it. Like just go to bed and if you wake up and the first thing you think about is that, then I'm like, okay, maybe we'll start thinking about it. And then if you don't even think about it and you potentially even forget about it for like two weeks, and you're like, oh, I kind of, oh, I saw it. And it maybe comes up as an ad because your cookies have been dropped so your internet knows that you want this item now. So it's going to start serving your ads for it.

If that's the only time that you're thinking of it is because you're seeing it online or in ads, it's probably an impulse purchase. Like you probably don't actually want this because there hasn't been a moment in your life that you've navigated through your life. And this thing would have been a relief to like a problem or a want or whatever. Because for example, if you're going to go out for drinks and you've realized, oh crap, I actually don't have mascara. Yeah. That's when you're like, okay, I need mascara.

Yeah. That's when you can. I don't actually have a pair of socks. Yeah. And no one ever has enough socks. Yeah. Honestly, I'm one of those people.

Can never be an impulse by. No. But absolutely, no, absolutely not. I was passionate about the sockies. But those are kind of the moments that I would think if there's something popping up in your everyday life and you're like, oh shit, I need that. Then you know you can go buy that. And then the other thing that I think I do is I kind of make sure I earn.

the shop so it's like I will go and I will find it on sale and I will start price matching. So I will go to like all the retailers that stock it and I will go on their little chat pot thing and I'll be like do you price match this? And this has been something that I've been relentless with. Wait, that's so smart. Yeah. So like J.B. Highfi, the iconic David Jones, Maya, like the good guys, Harvey Norman, they all price match.

Yeah. Jet Star price match, chemist warehouse price match. There's so many places like price match. People who don't live in Australia, these are like huge Australian brands. So I'm assuming that like in other countries you might find a very similar system in place. Yep. And so then I go through price matching and then I start looking at like cash back. So I look on shop back and I see if I can get shot back for certain brands and that's kind of where I'll go to price matches.

because if there's like 20% cash back at David Jones, then I'm going to go price match at David Jones and get a further 20% cash back. And it's like doing all this work that will show me if I really want the product. Because if you can't be bothered and there are moments that I can't be asked to go and do this and like really focus on getting a really good deal, then I don't want it.

Yeah. Then it's not the thing. Like I was really tossing up with getting my boyfriend, Rob, don't listen. I'm pretty sure he's not listening. Just in case. No, he's always like when. Whenever I do something, he's always like, can I listen? No.

I'm like, no, go away. This isn't for you. For the girls only. For the girls, for girls. I was really tossing up between like an Ura ring, which is like basically an Apple Watch in a ring and a Weber barbecue. And so this is probably a good tip for people that are doing Christmas shopping. And what I do to ask people what they want for Christmas and I make sure I get them a good

present because I am an elite. You're an excellent shopper. I am an elite gift giver. Oh, I bet as well. Yes, as well, but shopper and gift giver, is I don't ask people, what do you want for Christmas? Because, like, nine times out of ten, someone's going to say, oh, I don't know. I don't know. Or they'll feel bad to tell you what they want.

Yeah. Because we're, like, taught that it's greedy. Yeah. But what I ask is, like, do you have any, like, passions for next year? Or are there any new focuses you want to, like, get into? Oh. Or when are you at your happiest? So those.

A beautiful series of questions. Yeah, so those can kind of tell you what people want. So, like, I asked my boyfriend and I said, do you have any passions that you want to lean into next year? And so I was tossing up between a fitness tracker and a Weber bump here. He goes, he goes, he goes, running and cooking. And I was like, fuck. I was like, that's both of them.

Oh, no. Yes. I was like, ah, damn it. What's one that you can do, maybe like a nutrition pouch or something? Yeah, but I was just like, yeah, but honestly, I was like, the URA ring was like $400 AUD and I started going into my little price match shop back world for the local barbecue and I was like, do you know what? And I ended up getting it like 50% off.

That's actually incredible. It was wild. It's worth it. He's going to love that. And then like since then I've like heard him say all these little things about cooking that I'm like, I'm so excited to give that to him. Yeah. And it wasn't just like this weird like knee jerk reaction of buying him something that was

really expensive because that's what the Uruhrer ring was. would have been. It was like, I saw it and I was like, oh, that's cool. And it was $100 off and as well, especially for sales, whether it's Black Friday or whatever time of the year it is, it's like, our biggest sale of the year. Lies. Yeah, lies and Manelli lies. Lies and Manelli lies. The thing is to realize is like there is absolutely no legislation, rules, anything, around advertising sales. It's also unregulated. Like, I'm going to name drop, but pretty little thing, they always, always have a sale on their site, right? And they have a countdown.

And I swear, I don't know if they still do this because I haven't been on this site for ages. But like, I would say like maybe when I was 20, which was seven years ago. Yeah. It's fine. But they would have like 50% off. And the countdown would never be for more than a day. And then the next day it would just reset. So they just had this countdown that was always like 24 hours.

They know their psychology. Yeah. I mean, it might have been give or take a little bit less, a little bit more. I don't know, pretty little thing you can't sue me. Disclaimer. Yeah. But it was always like that. Yeah.

Well, that's what we were talking about before. Yeah. I think when we were going back to, I love that you did your like research before making a purchase. That is a big way of telling whether something is an impulse buy versus a need is because you won't look for other options. So it's like, for example, if you need a new pair of runners because your O1 have holes in them.

Yes. You are going to look for the best value for money. You are going to look for the best pair that's going to last you a while. Yeah. If it was an impulse buy, you'd be like, oh, those are fine because our standards for an impulse buyer lower because we're actually not actually looking for the purchase. We're looking for the dopamine. We're looking for the control.

We're looking for other things here. I also think as well, like, buyers remorse is going to happen. So like don't beat yourself up for those moments that maybe you have bought something and you're like, oops, this was a bit of a mistake. Like, because as well, we're not. we're not as a collective, as a community, we're not shopping at places that we can't return items. If something's final sale and you haven't been able to like try it on or like actually touch it, feel it and see it in real life, I would really recommend not buying it.

But as well, a lot of the time you can return it, we're just really lazy. That's true. Yeah. That like the idea of going to the post office, which is difficult because a lot of us work nine to five and the post office is open from like nine to four. at some places. Yeah, in some places. Yeah, it's like, how did they come up with that system? Yeah, and like, not of us really.

Like, who owns a printer? I do because I needed to get... Oh, I don't. Oh, I bought one because I just would not go to the post office. And I was like, I'm losing so much money in these clothes that I was like, I'm just going to start printing my own returns labels. Yeah. And then being able to just ship it back.

But, like, making sure that you do that because I read this stat the other day and it was like 30% of online purchases, like, get returned. that's just the items that get returned. Like, I feel like that number would be so... I would say it's like at least 50% for like items that didn't get returned, but then also didn't get used. Yeah, I would say it's like 50% of items online. I'm making this stat up, by the way.

This is just a guess. I think that's true. But that people wish they didn't buy. Yeah. I'm sure there's something on there sitting in the internet. Well, we have to find it out. Yeah. Because it's like, so buyers remorse, there's two versions of it.

I look into this. There's buyers remorse. force in which you've spent a lot of money and you're feeling a sense of loss from your attachment for the money. So like for example, if you're saving for a home or a car, you have spent so much time earning that money that when you finally spend it, you feel this like, and you've been so strong not spending it, that then suddenly you spend it all because you've permitted yourself to spend it all. But like your brain, your cognition is kind of like taking a little while to shift into that new gear of like there is permissiveness there to spend it. Same with people who say for like being

overseas holidays and then they go and they're like, I suddenly feel really guilty for spending money on this thing when in fact actually this is what we've been saving for. So that's one type of like buyers remorse. And the second type comes from this thing called post decision dissonance. And it's particularly to do with impulse purchases. We've said this so many times. It is a, it comes from an emotional urge to purchase something to feel a certain way. It's a way of, you know, self-regulating, of self-soothing. What happens is you buy that item. And then the emotional impulse fades and you're able to see things a little bit more clearly. And it's in that point of like where you feel more rational that you actually understand like the pros and cons of the purchase rather than just the emotional impulse of the purchase.

I was going to ask you, what's been your biggest buyer's remorse? Oh my God. I feel like I'm so many. Because I was like I'm fascinated by this. I did a really stupid one recently. And I saw a TikTok. And it was of this like Papperson chair. And so a Papperson chair is like,

you've probably seen them, but they look like they're a cane chair that kind of looks like a bit of a cocoon. Oh, those are cool, right? Do they hang? Yeah, they hang or you can put it on a stand and it can either sit up as like a couch or you like then swivel it and it sits as like this little bed. And I saw someone on like book talk reading in theirs and I was like, well, I obviously need that.

Yeah. And I was like, but like furniture is always expensive. So I was like, I wonder how much it is. And then because I was in this loop and I saw it on Amazon and it was like $170. And I was like, oh my God. And you already had thought it was going to be more expensive. Yeah. So I was like, oh my God, stunning amazing brave.

Come at me. And then bought it. It came and I, you know, made the impulse decision. And it came and I hadn't thought about one of these chairs either. So again, this happens to me too still. and it came and I was like, this package is really small. Maybe I have to build it. I'd just bought the cushion.

Oh my God. There was no chair. Oh my God. And then I looked up how much the chair was. How much was the chair? $1,500. Oh my God. Yeah.

So did you buy it? No. I said absolutely not. But I went to Facebook Marketplace and I said, give me one. Did you find one? I did find one on Facebook Marketplace. Yeah. But I then ended up spending, I think it was like another $150 to get the chair, which then, look, I love the chair, but I probably wouldn't have spent $300 on it.

In the first place. Yeah, in the first place, which then collectively ended up being $300. And then there's been other things where I just, like, didn't read the measurements. And I bought the world's tiniest couch. Like, it was. The furniture is one of those ones where I'm like, you should go in and look at that in place. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. It's a huge thing. But yeah, there's been like definitely a couple things as well. I think some of my buyer's remorse has come from trying to kind of force an item I really liked in a size that wasn't mine. So either sizing up or sizing down and I would be like, I'll just, I'll make it work. Like maybe it's a big make and I'll just. Or maybe I'm bloated today.

Yeah. That's a big one. And I just will be like, no, it's fine. I'll make it work. And then I get it. And I'm like, one, buying clothes. that aren't going to fit me that I know aren't going to fit me. I'm just going to put them on and feel bad about myself.

So why am I doing this to myself? And two, am I actually going to be bothered to return it? Because we're all lazy in terms of returns. And it's busy. And it's busy time. And like, then you just have to pay for shipping as well. Yeah. Which is just a bummer.

Yeah. So I think those have been some of my buyer's remorse times. But yeah, the chair one on Amazon was a recent one. And I was like, damn it. I get that. And it was an impulse buy. Yeah. I did this with a pair of boots maybe two years ago.

It was like I bought them when I just started making like real adult money. Again, the adult money. Yeah. And I was like, I want those boots. And it was an impulse purchase and I bought them. They were from Alohas. And they actually ended up breaking. Oh no.

The first time I wore them. They didn't. And then I emailed them and actually I bought them from a different seller. So I hadn't bought them straight from Alohas. And so they couldn't refund me. and it was like such a bummer and I ended up paying so here's the other thing I bought them for $300 I've never spent that much money on an item of clothing shoes ever I'm like very frugal like when I just I just don't do it so I bought them and then I broke them and so I ended up spending another

$50 fixing them it's the sunk cost fallacy where you're like I've already spent and it's what happened to you as well yeah I already spent this much money to like let that go would be a loss of this money so I just need to go in further because at least that it's that loss a version. Like I should have just returned the fucking cool shit. I should have just like stuck to my guns and been like give me a refund these. Yeah. And I'm I'm not saying anything about. That's when you call me. I need you to make an angry call. I have like been there being like I know my A triple C consumer rights. I'm not getting off. This chat, this contact us chat until you give me a refund. But yeah. I will burn this place.

If it makes you feel better, I realized another one when you were just talking was I bought like a designer handbag for like $3,000. And it's the only designer handbag I've ever bought and I would never buy a designer handbag ever again. Because I, this was maybe two years ago. And I fell into that whole like, oh, like when you buy your first designer bag, it's this really special thing. and I started getting served, all the ads and all of this stuff. And I, like, achieved something really big at my old job and I got this bonus. And I was like, oh, do you know what?

And I think we still weren't allowed to travel yet, maybe. I can't remember. And I was like, and I really wanted this designer bag. And I had wanted it for a while. But when I got it, it was so much money, more money than I've ever spent on anything, like 10 times the amount of money. I was going to say you're not a big spender. No, no, no, no, no. You're not like that.

Like, I am like, get me a good deal. Yeah. Then you get my money. But like, and I just was like, it's too nice. I can't use it. Oh, no. What happens? What happens if someone spills a drink on it?

What happens if it gets stolen? What? Like, because it was so much money and so special in like, quite a time rocks, I then didn't use it for like two years. And I was like, shit. I was like, this was a waste of money that I'm like trying to afford. to force myself to use it more now because I still sometimes have a thing being like, oh, but if like I don't want anything, well, that I have this like fear that if you're going to buy something and it's really, really special that you're going to be like,

I'm only going to use this to special occasions. Don't buy it. Your cost per wear is not going to be like useful. It's not going to be the level that it needs to be. That's a big one. It's like from home alone too. He talks about like how he got a pair of rollerblades one year. But he was so scared that they would get dirty that he never used them.

That's all I can think about. So I wanted to do a quick segue to the last thing I want to talk about. Kind of a double barrel question here. What are some of the things that we should be spending our money on in our 20s? And how can we be better at managing our money such that we don't impulse by? I think first step in managing is managing your money and then figuring out what you need to spend your money on. So there are so many just like free templates that you can literally put into Google. And I know it sounds like.

It sounds boring because whenever I would listen to like money podcasts tell me to do this. I was like, I'm not going to do that. But you do really need to just sit down and look at how much money you have coming in and how much money you have going out. I'm not saying you need to look at the last six months, three months or whatever, but even just the last month so that you can get an idea of how much money you do have and don't have. Because if you're getting to the end of the week and people are asking if you want to go out

for drinks and you're saying, well, I haven't been paid yet, you really need to look at this because it means that you're spending more than you're earning. So you... And that's how you get into debt, which is really scary. Yeah, and that is how you get into debt. That's when you start, you know, abusing things like after pay or like looking into a credit card. Don't get a credit card. No.

I think in Australia, it's easier to say that. Yeah. Because we don't have like a credit rating. Yeah. But if you don't need to get a credit card, do not buy a credit. Do not get a credit card. We do have like credit schools though. I actually saw this thing where it's like, apparently they don't look into it as much.

Oh, they do. You can offer it up. Like, you can give it as evidence, like, being like, I am suitable for a loan. Yeah. never had a credit card, they don't count it against you. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They will look at it if you have one, but they won't.

Yeah, anyhow, don't buy a credit card. Then they're not going to be like, you don't. Yeah, there's no need to get to get one unless you're like really into like the points or whatever. And even then, I think the points, there's so many terms and conditions to it. So I used to be like a credit card. So like she, if she says I'm never getting a credit card, then I'm never getting a credit card. And that's not money advice or financial advice.

at all, but if someone who wrote about them for a living has not got one, then I'm not getting one. Yeah. Anyhow, there's our first. Yeah. Take a solid look at your finances. Don't get a credit card. Yeah. So I think take a look and then really break down everything you spend so that that kind of shows

you how much wiggle room you have with your money and where you want to pull back. So for example, like I always get my nails done every two weeks. I know that's going to be $45. But we don't necessarily put that into our budgeting. we think rent, we think, you know, groceries, we think electricity bills, right? But we don't put in like the little things that we regularly get, like even if that's your five dollar morning coffee. Yeah.

And so find a template or build one if you like that's so easy that you can just like pop the numbers in there as you're spending or at the end of the week. What like my partner and I have started doing, but you can do this on your own or you could do this with your roommates is that we like, poor, like he'll have a beer and I have like a glass of wine at like four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon and we'll like play like some Fleetwood Mac and we'll like look at it and then we'll just kind of like hang out and do it while we're hanging out. Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. So that's like the first thing I would do. And then in terms of thinking about what you need to spend your money on in your 20s, it's very difficult to answer this because our

early 20s and our mid 20s and our late 20s all have very, very different paychecks because our early 20s, a lot of us are still at uni and we're probably working part time. Mid 20s. 20s is kind of when we get entry level. Yeah, a full-time job that we kind of tend to see a bit more money, but that's also when we tend to move out. So that's when we're kind of trying to figure out how to budget because we've moved out. And late 20s is when we're like, okay, money. I have money.

I need to figure out how to spend money. So I think first things first is it's when you are in that phase of, okay, we're moving out, we're renting. When you're renting, that's going to be the biggest investment. I think your home, where you live, that's your biggest investment because that's your safe space. That is never a bad investment in my eyes. And like, I know that renting at the moment is an absolute dog's breakfast, especially in like Sydney and in Australia. But learning how to kind of manage your money and your home is going to be really, really helpful in the long run that you're never stressed and resentful to pay rent.

Because that is huge. Yeah. Because I know like we're never going to be like, yay, I'm paying off someone's mortgage. but living within your means but somewhere that feels like home is going to really be helpful like I always think investing in your home and good quality and the things that you use every day is never going to be a bad investment for example sheets if you have like the expendable income to spend a little bit more on really good quality sheets that's going to make getting into bed at the end of a really long hard day that little bit nicer or like bed frame mattress yeah

bed frame mattress even cookware like I would say that's maybe more of like investment in your late 20s. Yeah. And you can get that for like quite cheap actually. Yeah. I love that when I moved out. Facebook Marketplace is your best friend in your 20s. I'm telling like there are so many things that I would say one thing to invest in in your

20s is shopping secondhand. I think we underestimate the value of it and we overestimate the sparkles around brand new. Because like I got it brand new for this price. Yeah. Not me. I'm like this was used three times and I got it for 70% the reach. our price amazing. I think as well we avoid things like our health a lot too.

I was about to actually say that. Like health is a huge one that I've figured out. I used to go so cheap when I went to my doctors. Like I would only ever go to doctors that were free and I got bad health care. Yeah. Or I like did not take care of myself because I did not want to spend the money. Yep. And that actually caused problems where I was like, oh, so like now I have to like one example

is with my eyesight. where when I went to uni, I was like, I'm not going to get my eyes to, it's too expensive, it's too expensive, I kept wearing glasses that like weren't working for me. And then three years later, it was like, well, now you need like a particular kind of glass that's going to cost you $200 more. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There's even like, and we avoid it because we think the price tag is going to be really high.

So for example, like dentistry is something that we really, we really all don't, don't spend money on it. We don't want to spend money on it and we avoid it because I avoided it for like two years. And so I was like, you need to go to. the dentist and I was like I know because she's so good with it. And then I found this dentistry that was called Dental 99. It's like a $99 dentist that you can go and get like a clean and a checkup. And it was and I went and tested it because I was like, I'm not going to recommend this. Yeah. If I haven't gone and you get it. Like a false root canal.

Yeah. Pull out of chains all being like you've got a cavity. And I'm like, yeah. But that was really good. And so making sure that you don't cut corners on the things that really matter. But You don't necessarily need to be going to like, you know, a double bay GP, which is like a very expensive suburb in Australia. You don't need to do that. You can find ways in the middle. Yeah, 100%. I'm finding a consistent doctor.

I think the other thing is analyzing the things that you, is your cost per wear. So the things that you use every day. So for example, for me, I drink coffee every day. So my coffee machine is like $700, but I think I drink like two coffees a day every day. So it's paid itself back. It is paid itself back. And then some. So those things as well as like winter boots, sneakers, your jeans, kind of those items that, you know, do go through the cycle.

I used to be when I was 18 because I didn't know any better. I was such, I didn't even know what fast fashion was. Yeah. Well, it wasn't a thing when we were younger. No, it wasn't a thing. But it wasn't, didn't have a label. No. It was like we had it, but we didn't realize what it was.

Yeah. And like I think that is down to, you know, a little bit of ignorance and privilege that I just had no idea. but as like I've gotten older like fast fashion and the landfill that comes from companies like Sheen and Zara, yeah, is really grim. But also the quality you get is going to fall apart within a year, which is why I would say like these trend items that do tend to come from, you know, fast fashion. Think about whether you really want it and if you're going to be wearing it in three years time. But if you are going to be wearing in three years time, is it going to last?

like is it going to last in the wash? Well it's a big thing of like you said winter boots, jeans, sneakers. Yeah. The one that I've realized recently because obviously I'm going overseas, I will be overseas at the time this episode comes out. It's like a really good winter coat. Yeah. Every year I never talking about these.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Every year I was like, I'm just going to buy like another cheap winter coat and then it would get freezing. I mean, I was like, no, stop. Let's actually think about this in a future sense and let's save my future self some money so that she doesn't have to replace this.

again next year. Yeah, I think as well remembering that no one really cares about your outfit as much as you do is also really helpful. Yeah. Like no one's going to be like, oh, Cindy Walled at four weeks ago to Cheryl's 27th birthday. No one notices. No one cares as much as we think they do. But to kind of like wrap up my very long winded answer of like this and that and this and that, this and that, I think the best thing you can invest your money on in your 20s is people and experiences. Yeah. The people that you love spending time with and ways to spend time with them. And it never needs to be like, you know, $1,000 flights to go traveling together because realistically not a lot of us can afford that.

But it can be spending $20 on a bottle of wine and going and watching the sunset together. Yeah. And like those memories don't actually have a price tag on them. Like there are so many moments that I think of with the friends that I have and the people that I love that I, it was never, you know, a lot of money, but those moments and those memories are completely priceless to me. That I think is, well, your 20s, you have a lot of freedom. As we get older, our responsibilities to, you know,

maybe partners or careers or potentially kids just get stronger and we have a lot less time to make the memories that we want to make for ourselves. So like your time is actually like the most valuable thing that you own. Yeah. So like making sure that you spend. spend that wisely is probably the best way to spend anything in your 20s. That is such a priceless advice as well. Thank you.

She does have some little bits of wisdom. And if you kind of find ways to understand your retail therapy habits, you're overspending habits, your impulsive spending habits, you have that money to give to the things that are really important. Like that item of clothing, that piece of furniture, that like impulse, whatever thing that you've bought, that's not going to outlive. anything, any of the memories that you make right now. So I think that is a beautiful place to wrap things up. Thank you so much for coming on and bringing your wisdom. It's actually given me quite a

lot to think about in terms of how I manage my money. I actually don't have a budget. And it's a discussion I've been having with myself of like, let's get ahead of this now. It's hard because I feel like as well, you do the budget and you realize like you, I don't want to know. You're like, oh my God, how much money I've been spending? And it's good. You feel empowered. I'm, I'm terrified. I'm I'm terrified. I'm terrified. I'm terrified to look. Buy yourself a nice,

nice bottle of wine. I will. By nice, I mean the two for 30 dollar of squealing pig rosé. I love that one. That's my favorite bit of ice in it. Oh my God. I also put ice in my rosé.

Yeah. I like a little, plus it's not cold enough. I need the ice in it. Yeah. To really, to really make sure it hits. Yeah.

And also, whenever I spend like $50 on a bottle of wine, I'm like, this tastes like shit. Oh my God, I did that the other day. And it's not good, is it? I happened. We went out to like this French, me and my, I almost said his name.

Me and my boyfriend went out to like this French bistro. And the cheapest bottle of wine was $60 and it was the worst thing I've ever tasted. I was like, this. I was like, I would rather have drunk like juice or like vinegar than drunk this. Yeah. Anyhow, we got on track. We were on like such a nice little end note. And then I'm like now, wine.

Let's talk about alcohol. That's the other thing to invest in your 20s. Good wine. No, opposite of that. No, shit wine. Yeah, shit wine. But again, thank you for coming on. Al is one part of two broke chicks. Sally Sal could not be with us today. But you should absolutely go and listen to their podcast and follow them wherever you would follow anybody. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. No. No, don't do that. Facebook, actually. I think people, they get enough from us on their other platforms. I'm like, you know what, I'll give you one reprieve. Yes. You don't have to see us there. Yeah, I don't think. like 40 year old men on there

very interested in what we have to say either. I really don't want to get into that. As soon as I saw Twitter was like majority men, I was like, yeah, pass. Yeah, just don't go in there. It's like a fucking... Just scares me. Hell pit of just terrible opinions.

Oh, great. Maybe I should join. Yeah, you can add some. Anyhow, yeah, we did it again. Go and find out. I will make sure that all of her links and all of Two Brokechicks links are in the description. And as always, if you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, IHart, wherever you are listening.

Make sure you are following along so that you get new episodes in your feed every day. Every day. It's a big promise. Twice a week. Yeah, big changes in the new year, twice a week. And if you have an episode suggestion, as always, my DMs, my inbox is always open to ideas from you guys. So follow me at That Psychology Podcast or at Gemma Spag with the J. to send me a message and have a lovely afternoon morning wherever you are.

Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hardway with your favorite therapist and host, Kare Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor. It signals to the world that you're not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you've, need to. Listen to learn the hard way on the AHA radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your

podcast. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available.

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When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed. I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends.

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