The Psychology of your 20s - 210. The 5 BIGGEST red flags for relationships in our 20s

Episode Date: July 5, 2024

We all know what red flags are, they tend to be universal at any age, but there are some redflags that are specific to our 20s, certain features of a relationship during this decade to look out for even if they don't look concerning at first. On today's episode we talk about the five biggest red flags for relationships in our 20s, including:  Relationships that stop you from having experiences Relationships that cause emotional chaos  Relationships that don't celebrate or encourage you All or nothing relationships  Fatal attractor relationships  We also explore the psychology and of course the research behind why these can be so damaging to help us find more sustainable and healthy love during this decade. Listen now!  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg  Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast  For business enquiries: [e-mail]  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show of our 20s. Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you get back for another episode as we, of course, break down the psychology of our 20s. You know, I truly believe that this decade is such a sacred time for every single one of us.

There is something kind of magical about being this young and chaotic, but also so focused on the future, gaining self-awareness, wanting to get the most out of life's experiences, kind of grown up, kind of still young, kind of still naive, kind of still excited. There's just so much to learn. So much to learn, especially about ourselves and there's these huge life-changing moments of growth and wonder and joy, and also these huge relationships. A big part of this whole experience of this decade, something that really makes and breaks our years and our months as 20-something-year-olds, is who we choose to date, who we fall for,

who we spend our time with, you know, romantically, whether that's in a committed sense or not, the people that we pursue. I think that if you ask most of us in this decade, what is one of the things that you think the most about or which has the biggest impact on your experiences and your mood and so much else, it would be love and it would be relationships and it would be dating. And it's honestly such a formative part of these years, but not all relationships are meant to be. and they're not always beneficial to this like journey of discovery that we've got going on in our 20s and not always who we need. Sometimes being in love and having fun just isn't enough, especially when there are some pretty huge signs that this relationship might not be going anywhere.

It might be costing you a lot more than you thought it would be. It might actually be jeopardizing some of the experiences that you have in this period of life or jeopardizing, part of your identity or your personhood in general. And I think one of the big regrets that a lot of people have, or something that we think that we're going to regret, we fear is being in our late 20s, early 30s and realizing that we ignored red flags in our relationship or we continue to pursue people who weren't good for us and we really should have been alone and we really should have been with somebody better. And that's what I want to talk about today. What are the red flags specifically for relationships in our 20s that we need to look out for.

What are the warning signs that something is off in a relationship or about a person? You know, I think we all understand what red flags are. They are essentially these things that should cause us to break things off with somebody. And there are a lot of red flags that are pretty universal. If they're jealous, if they treat you poorly, if they don't communicate or support you, if they love bum you, if they're narcissistic, these are really true no matter. where you are, your gender, and most specifically your age. But there are some red flags that I think are specifically valuable to be aware of during this decade. They're a bit more nuanced. They're a bit more

specific to the life stage and the period that we're in and the experiences that we're having. And I think my biggest guiding philosophy that I had when thinking about these five big red flags was that the relationship with the right person during this decade can really elevate the experiences that you're having in your 20s, but with the wrong person, you are much better experiencing everything by yourself or with your friends or accompanied by family or platonic love than spending these years hoping somebody's going to change with the wrong person, in the wrong relationship. There is, I think, a very fine line and an important line between wanting to experience love,

but then also knowing that you would benefit from being sick. single. And that's what I want to talk about today. What are the red flags that we should look out for? What are the situations that we don't want to get stuck in? What are some of the things that we might realize will inevitably cost us so that we will inevitably regret about the relationships that we have in our 20s? We have so much to cover. So without further ado, my lovely listeners, let's get into it. Let's start this off strong. If there was just one red flag on this list, and none other, no other red flags, personally, this would be my number, my number one as it relates to our 20s. So our number one red flag, if they hold you back from having experiences, especially the

kind of experiences that create memories that are going to last longer than that relationship, that is not the right relationship for you. Listen, everyone is in a different stage, but if you have big dreams of moving overseas or traveling for three months or starting your own business or solo hiking or whatever it is. Please, please, please, please, don't give that up for a relationship. A good relationship should allow you to be all of those things and more. You should feel secure enough in that connection and in the stability of your partnership to be an independent person because you don't get this time back.

You might not get this opportunity again. You may never be where you are now. You may never be prepared to seek out this adventure and take that. at risk. And if you wait for when your partner is ready or you hold off because somebody you're dating doesn't want to go or doesn't want you to go, which is even worse. I'm telling you right now, you will regret that. And the reason that I know this is because there have been studies on this very thing. Saying no or not making a decision leads to so much more long-term regret than saying yes, even if by saying yes, you end up losing out on something else. Because that experience,

those memories will make up for what it is that you might lose. They will last so much longer. They will be such a source of joy. And they will just be evidence that despite the barriers, despite everything telling you to stay with this person, to stay safe, to stay comfortable, you did it anyways. Some of the most enduring regrets that people have at the end of their life, and which they tell people who do studies on this,

they stem from actions not taken. And the right kind of love will accommodate your dreams. The worst kinds of love will restrict you, will want to keep you small. So when I first started dating my boyfriend, like three months in, I kind of sat him down and said basically, if I wasn't dating you, I wouldn't be in Australia. I had these plans that in six months' time, like at the end of the year, that I was going to move overseas. And I used to kind of always joke with people when we first met that it was like such terrible timing to meet somebody so wonderful to mean like the love of my life. Like, part of me was

a bit like, oh my gosh, why didn't I meet him like a year earlier when everything was still up in the air? Why, you know, why did I meet him in two years time when I'd gone and done and done those things? And I did have a moment of being like, I don't want to give my dreams up for this guy who only three months ago was a stranger. And so I talked to him about it. I said, you know, I really want to live overseas. And I really, really like you. I don't know if I loved him at that point, but I was like, I really enjoy our relationship. But, you know, this is kind of a deal breaker for me. And you know what he said? He said, okay, let's make a timeline. If this is an experience that you want to have to live overseas for a year or two, let's make it happen. And if you want to go now, let's make it work. And that was a huge

green flag. It was like a respect for the fact that my life existed beyond our relationship. And he really appreciated my dreams. And he appreciated my dreams not just for my life, but for my 20s. You know, I'm somebody who thinks about their 20s a lot and who thinks about getting the most out of this decade so much. And I think that I couldn't be with somebody who didn't appreciate what I wanted to experience in the life I wanted to live. So if someone doesn't respect those things, if they hold you back, if they make you feel insecure about doing the things that you want to do, if they don't want you to do them without them, I just think that that shouldn't impede your decision making and that you should be free to be a person before you are a partner,

to have a life before you have a relationship. So, red flag number two, they are not the one if they are causing you intense emotional chaos. there is a really fine balance between someone who is exciting and exhilarating and someone who is going to absolutely destroy everything in your life, your self-esteem, your values, your self-confidence. And that can take a long time to repair. So there was a study in 2019 that examined this very thing. They examined romantic relationships in emerging adulthood. An emerging adulthood is this period between like 18 and 29.

And what this research suggested was that romantic relationships, relationships during this period that are unpredictable, that are disruptive or distressing, they can actually cause significant changes in our mood, significant changes in our interest in life, they can reduce our positive emotions and they can reduce our sense of stable self-worth. And that impact doesn't disappear when we leave the relationship either. It can linger, sometimes for years. So let me explain what I mean by intense emotional chaos. And if you relate to any of these things, see it as a red flag.

So feeling good about the relationship one day and then terrible the next without any explanation as to why, never knowing what to expect from the other person. Your emotions are out of control when it comes to this person or your relationship, crying over this person in your relationship, sometimes without any given reason, feeling nauseous or anxious about the future, not feeling like yourself. if your friends notice that you've changed or you're less in touch with yourself or you're upset, feeling the need to kind of completely explode your life because of them. That is the intense emotional chaos that I'm talking about.

There are a few kinds of relationships that I think create this reaction. For starters, you know, relationships with people who are just simply manipulative or breadcrumbing you or who, you know, aren't right for you and in our deepest of hearts, we know that, that often elicits this reaction. but the biggest one that is very so uniquely 20-something is situationhips. These half-baked pseudo-relationships that leave you feeling uneasy and unsure of what actually to expect, unsure of what's actually going on and very convoluted. Situationhips by nature are chaotic because whilst you're in them, they neither have a future

or an end. So they are constantly suspended in this emotional limit. limbo. And I think whilst our natural instinct is to bond and attach to this person because we are connecting with them, we are building memories with them, we are sharing time with them, the lack of a label or exclusivity creates this very logical and rational understanding that we shouldn't be doing that. But our emotional and our biological urge is doing so anyways. So basically what I'm saying is that you end up getting attached whether you want to or not. these situations can be so intense.

I do really feel for anyone who was going through this at the moment. Back in like 2021, I was in this like six-month relationship with this guy after the end of my first big long-term relationship. And it was like a complete roller coaster and it was a complete disaster. And throughout the experience, I, it was a state of emotional chaos. I lost a big part of myself. I lost friends. And I lost my sense of self-respect. and to be honest, I think I lost a bit of my healthy perspective on love.

And it took a while to recover. It took a while to unlearn what I had implicitly learned about myself and about others because of that situation. Nowadays, I definitely value what I went through because it taught me things about myself that I never would have learned, but I would have preferred to learn them in a different way rather than going through that. And the biggest red flag for me should have been the emotional chaos I was

experiencing at the beginning. But because I was in such a self-destructive place, and I'll be the first to admit it, the anxiety, the ups and downs, the jitters, that, you know, that was my intuition telling me to break it off, but those jitters, those experiences, this emotion, it felt fun and it felt exciting, and I didn't know how to identify what I was going through. Maybe it's a rite of passage. I don't know maybe a lot of people you have to have a relationship like this in your 20s. It seems like a lot of us have, but I also think save the suffering, save the misery, save yourself the time and the inevitable explosion three months, six months later, and try and notice those feelings when they first occur.

So, Red Flag, number three, a little bit different from that last one. They don't celebrate you or encourage you. Now this is problematic to me for quite a few reasons. Number one, quite frankly, you just deserve someone who thinks you are incredible. And I think that being celebratory and encouraging somebody is just part of being a good partner. So it kind of shows that they aren't that. And number two, it is part of a healthy partnership. And it shows their commitment to your growth, which is also a great green flag.

Number three, if they aren't celebrating you now, don't expect that to change in the future. so I always say how the relationship begins, it's how it ends. If it has begun with a complete deficit in them feeling proud of you or them wanting to express happiness for you, that's not going to change. And number four, which is similar to number two, actually comes down to a theory known as the Michelangelo theory, which states that our close partners sculpt us into hopefully becoming the best versions of ourselves by implicitly promoting and encouraging our best traits and inhibiting the things that hold us back. The reason that it's called the Michelangelo phenomena is after the artist and the sculptor who would make these beautiful creations from marble.

And that is what a good partner can do to you. It's not that they are like intentionally chipping away and trying to make you a better person or make you into the version of you that they like. It's more that the right person encourages the things. that you really like about yourself and helps you become the version of you that you have chosen to become or who is within you. One way that they do that is through encouragement and celebration, which as the theory would suggest, pushes us towards our ideal selves. We obviously care about our partner's opinions and we trust what they say and what they think. And if they are the ones

who are like, yeah, that was a really great job that you went to the gym today. We feel really great when they say that or if they encourage us to go back to school or if they encourage us to pursue our dreams, that is quite motivating. And if your partner is not doing that, especially now, especially in your 20s, I think that that is something that isn't going to change and perhaps it's preventing you from living up to your potential. And you know, also, I just think that naturally if you love somebody, if you care about them, you want, you do care about their future. And, and you do care about their goals and their pursuits, and you do want them to improve the way that they see fit. I think we often think about our goals and our dreams as quite a solitary affair,

especially during this decade when we're just getting started. You know, it all comes down to our discipline and our commitment and our intelligence and our creativity and the hours that we are putting into something. But this theory really suggests that the opposite is true, that actually it does take a village, and it's the people closest to us who have of the biggest influence on whether we succeed in our dreams or whether we don't. There's also additional research that shows that having an equally motivated partner who encourages you and celebrates you, but also is equally productive and equally pursuing a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in their lives will help you be a better person.

It's called social contagion. That's what we call it in psychology. You probably heard the quote. You know, you are the product. of the five people closest to you, and that's what this idea of social contagion reflects, your partner is definitely one of those five, right? And the older we get, the further we get into our 20s and even our 30s and our 40s, they normally become the number one.

So if they aren't in your corner, if you have a big win at work and they brush past it, if you, like, set a PR at the gym and it's not something that they care about or they're even interested in, sometimes their disinterest can actually work as a form of negative reinforcement and it can discourage you from continuing to pursue your goals. You know, the opposite of the Michelangelo phenomenon is actually the blueberry phenomena. And what the blueberry theory basically says is that interdependent people bring out the worst in each other because when one person is doing poorly or failing or struggling, they bring the other person down with them. You know, it's kind of that where the name comes from is having like a punnet of blueberries or strawberries. And if you've

ever had like one blueberry go bad in the punnet, like quickly the whole, the rest of the blueberries become rotten. And that is what this theory is saying is basically like, if you are with a partner who does not encourage you or celebrate you or who does not want you to succeed, it's not that they're rotten, but, you know, their values are contagious and might end up spoiling your own goals. And I know it's very easy to see dating in our 20s as maybe lower stakes, especially early in our 20s, because we have a lot of time to find the one and to explore and to get your heartbroken and whatever that may be. But really don't compromise on this one factor. If you're going to be in a long-term committed relationship with somebody, maybe you won't, but if you're going

to, they better think that you are fantastic and they better be in your corner for everything that you do, especially, especially during such a formative decade for your identity and in which we are growing our own self-worth. We want to build the skills and the community to succeed in whatever it is we're doing. So quick recap of our red flags so far. Number one, if they hold you back from having important experiences, red flag. If they're creating emotional chaos, red flag. And finally, if they don't celebrate or encourage you, huge red flag. We have two final. points to talk about today, the red flags for the relationships that we have in our 20s.

And we're going to return to those plus a few maybe bonus signs, bonus flags, after this short break. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the

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unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack all day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack, so I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now, so.

Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black. people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of mental health awareness month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests.

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Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Learn the Hardway and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so-ins, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for.

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As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. However you want to think about your 20s, whether this is a time to get serious about your future or a time for free. and the ability to make mistakes and chase emotional highs and maybe lows, I think that's something we can all agree is that they are not to be rushed and that taking time to know yourself and to know somebody else when you're dating and in a relationship before making huge decisions about your future

is really important. I don't think that's a controversial thing to say. So my fourth red flag for this episode, if the other person wants an all or nothing relationship and wants it right away or just wants a relationship for the sake of a relationship so as pushing timelines, red flag, get out. Sometimes I think people like the idea of love more than the person that they think they are in love with. To them, a relationship is like a checkbox, right? Something that needs to be achieved in order to feel good about ourselves and to move on to the next life chapter or the next life stage. It just feels secure to be in a relationship and to be like, okay, yep, got that all tied down. These are, unfortunately, the people to avoid. Those who see their relationship with you

is no more than a commitment to maybe what the world expects of them, what they think they should be doing in their 20s where the world expects them to be by a certain age, you know, in love, living together, cat, dog, home ownership, all by the age of 30. And so they rush it. They rush it without respecting the need to get to know each other or the value of a slow burn or a slow manse. There's some people that is the path that they choose to take. So I don't necessarily think this is a red flag if you're on the same page about the pace of your relationship, right? Like if you're both in mutual agreement of like, yes, we are in love and obsessed with each other and like, let's move in. You know, I can't say if that's a mistake or not because it's up to you. And if you're both

feeling that way, that's great. But I think you need to let that happen organically. and when it feels right, rather than feel like you're being rushed into something, rather than feeling like the commitment is happening faster than the getting to know you stage. So if this person is coming into the relationship, wanting everything all at once, I think there is probably some deeper psychological or subconscious motivation that is happening there. And maybe they don't even know it yet. Maybe it does have to do with their attachment style. Maybe it does have to do with past relationship hurt or trauma.

but it definitely needs further exploring. Here's why I think that this is a warning sign in my eyes, why it qualifies as a red flag. Firstly, it comes off as being very similar to love bombing. Love bombing, if you haven't listened to the episode that we did on this a little while back, it basically involves huge grand gestures and over-the-top displays of love and affection as an artificial way to speed up the relationship timeline and to really hook line and sinker you to really get you attached.

You know, saying that they love you after date too, moving in after date four, that kind of thing. And sometimes that promise of exclusivity and commitment can be really nice if you've been let down by a few duds or people who never give you what you want. But it can also be an indication of someone who is just addicted to the intensity of a relationship in those early days or who is trying to manipulate and control the situation or who is actually quite emotionally immature, has an anxious attachment style. So they're trying to lock you down ASAP. It's just something to be aware of. When we are in these situations, we sometimes lose who we are. It can become very controlling. It can disconnect you. And I think it doesn't leave much space for you to

actually think through what you might want, not just from a relationship in your 20s, but what you might want from your future. So the other red flag or the other worry, that this red flag alerts me to is this kind of relationship that really burns way too bright. And the relationships that burn very bright burn very quickly. And we get very wrapped up in the promise and the extremes. And that can come crashing down. And I think if you have built everything around being with this person, if everything has just happened so quickly, it can be incredibly disruptive and shocking when suddenly that is over. So it's okay to just pause. And so, it's okay to just pause. slow down. You know, if they are the one, you will spend the rest of your life together.

You know, if they are the one, don't worry about rushing it. The future is always going to be there. But if they cannot take no for an answer, if they cannot respect your timeline, I would say, get out. You know, I get it in our 30s or our 40s when some of those milestones have a bit more of a crunch period. Maybe we are better able to understand what we want. I get. Maybe the timelines being a bit more accelerated, but not in our 20s. Not in our 20s. Okay. Our final red flag for today.

Number five, you just feel like different people. And from the beginning, you want them to change something fundamental or crucial about themselves. Now, this isn't a red flag in that it doesn't necessarily indicate that the other person is going to, I don't know, ruin your life. It's more of an orange flag that this relationship and this person isn't right. for you and ignoring that for too long, investing more and more time and energy into trying to make it work, into quote unquote fixing all these huge gaps in your personalities and your interests and

your values is eventually going to lead you nowhere and it may even lead to some regrets. Think about it in this way. You wouldn't want to be with somebody who had this small seed in the back of their heads at all time that they wanted to alter something about you. So I do think that it's a bit unfair to, it's unfair to everybody to pursue a relationship with somebody who is always going to create friction. There's always going to be a friction between what you expect from them and what they're actually able to give. Obviously, I think different is good. Different is new perspectives, different is new places, new beliefs, new opinions, new memories. And, you know, both, if you want to keep it casual and you want to learn from each other, go for it. But when it comes to like a serious

relationship like an I'm all in for you, you're all in for me kind of relationship. If there is a fundamental difference that feels like this bruise, a bruise on your partnership, a bruise on your connection that never goes away and that you keep, you know, pushing and prodding and it keeps stinging and flaring up and you just can never resolve it, maybe they are not the one and maybe you were better off being single for a little bit. I know that might be something that's hard to hear. in those situations when you are unsure and perhaps ignoring a real emotional and deeper psychological signal or clue from within that you need to move on, I do have a very deep belief

if you can't already tell that we are better off alone. 99% of the time during our 20s with 99% of the people that we come across, if we are given the option to stay single or to be in a relationship, you should stay single. Because anything a relationship can give you, you can give yourself those, you can give yourself those same things plus even greater realizations and an even greater dedication to your growth and into your identity and to your friends and to your goals. So the only person that I think worth, not so much on losing, but the only person worth switching from single to being in a relationship and perhaps losing out on some of those things, the only person that it's worth doing that for

is somebody who is pretty dang good and somebody who you are not 100% sure of because I don't think you can never be 100% sure, but who you are like really fascinated by and who is obviously providing you with a really safe and comfortable foundation to grow and who you aren't spending time being wanting to change, you know, who you aren't just in a relationship with for the sake of being in a relationship. If you were two to three, six months in and you're waiting for them to shift or change, I just don't think that that will ever happen. And there was a study done by Business Insider last year, which said, of all the reasons people break up that don't have to do with ghastly things like cheating or bad behaviours, the number one culprit is that they ignored

their incompatibilities early on. You wanted kids, they never wanted them. You were a workaholic, they wanted a slow a lot, life, you know. He, she was really into drinking and partying, and that just wasn't who you were. It's an incompatibility that is the orange flag. You know, two, truly nice, lovely people can be in a relationship together and it could just not work out because they don't mesh in what they need from each other and they're kind of playing a tug of war. Are you going to change or am I? Who's going to shift here? That's what I'm a really amazing Dr. Susan South from Purdue University. She had to say about that. She called it a tug of war, a tug of war between two people who want to be themselves in a relationship but perhaps

acknowledge that they might have to give up something they really care about to be with this person and questioning whether that's worth it, I don't think that it is. Relationships take up so much time and they're an investment, so please, please do not sink this valuable energy and space that you have in your life right now to something that doesn't feel right, especially during this period in our lives when there are so many situations and events and emotions, even the hard ones that we would get the privilege to experience solo and that we could really grow through. So I want to include some final lightning round red flags that are perhaps a bit more obvious for relationships in our 20s. Obviously there are some that are crucial no matter what,

I think I said them before, but just to clear it up, you know, narcissism, abusive behavior, lying, all those things that we would typically think of there for every decade. But in our 20s, I think a lack of personal boundaries and not wanting to spend apart, that is a huge red flag. Make sure that you get the chance to be a free bird sometimes. You know, you don't get these years back. I think it's very similar to the first red flag. You still want to be yourself.

You still want to have things that are separate from them. I think it's really valuable. If they are extremely jealous and possessive, that is gross at any age, get out. If they are financially irresponsible and they go on to lie about it, or they want your help, run for the hills, run for hills. You know, sometimes people just aren't the best with money. Perhaps they didn't have the greatest financial literacy. That is not the same as being financially irresponsible and being completely, um, what's the word? Just completely dangerous about it or completely destructive about it and getting somebody that you care about involved, you know, I think they can recognize

it as a problem and hopefully fix it. And I think the final thing to just remember is, are you on the same page about what you actually want. It doesn't matter how you choose to date in your 20s, whether you like casual dating, whether you like committed dating, whether you like polyamory, whether you like just sex. It doesn't matter. It's all up to you, but just remember, respect, communication, honesty and sincerity, but also that the other person is gentle and is just kind. That is a must. That is an absolute must. So thank you so much for listening to today's episode as we ran through some of the red flags, there may not have been some that you would think should make this list. Maybe I didn't include some that you thought were quite obvious. So if you

have some additional contributions, please feel free to DM me at That Psychology Podcasts and I'll share them on my Instagram because I feel like the more the merrier if there is something that you have learned from your experience dating in your 20s, whether that was committed or uncommitted. I would love to hear from you and make sure that you. you are following along wherever you are listening right now, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever it is, make sure you never miss another episode. And if you did enjoy this episode, feel free to share it with a friend or leave a five-star review. And as always, until next time, stay safe, be kind, and of course, be gentle with yourself and look out for these red flags. For your own sake,

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