The Psychology of your 20s - 246. How to cope with political anxiety

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Many of us have been facing increasing levels of political anxiety in the past days and weeks. It seems that the world has never been more divisive and polarised and there is a lot that we are uncertain and fearful of. In today’s episode we talk about how we can acknowledge that the future feels scary, but still find an internal sense of safety and peace, including: The value of stoic principles and focusing on what you can control The psychology of a strong belief system The power of staying present and grounding ourselves Overcoming doomscrolling and being informed but not overwhelmed How to talk about politics in a healthy way I know this time feels very scary and uncertain but I hope this tiny slice of the internet makes you feel safe and seen, love Jemma.   PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [e-mail]      The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hardway with your favorite therapist and host Kear Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor. It signals to the world that you not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to, listen to learn.

the hard way on the AHA radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Mancini.

My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available.

I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO.% on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed. I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves.

We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Look Back at it podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me.

I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s.

84 was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever you are in the world, it is so great to have you here back for another episode as

we of course break down the very important psychology of our 20s. I'm going to cut straight to the chase. Today, we're going to be talking about political anxiety and political uncertainty. Something that I think we could all do with some more information about at the moment and maybe some comfort as well, given the recent election. I just want to say, straight off the bat from the top, this is not a space for any hate or negativity. And if you are listening to this episode with that intention or you're looking to start an argument, you're looking to make a point, I would kindly ask that you move on to one of our many other episodes, just with respect for those of us who are feeling differently to you.

You know, I'm recording this the day after the US election and I know that tensions are high. So if you were happy with the results of the election, then you probably don't need this episode. But there are people who do. and I hope that you can respect that for this moment. I just want to put that out there because my focus with this podcast has always been on making people feel like they have a space to just feel their feelings, whatever they may be. As ugly, as horrible, as negative, as dark as they are, I just simply want you to know that you are not alone and just to find ways for you to find peace within the turmoil, of our 20s and beyond. And I think a lot of us need that right now. There is something very specific on a lot of our minds that is increasing that turmoil. You know, there is a lot of angst, there is a lot of

stress, anxiety to do with what the future holds after the outcome of this election, but also just in general when it comes to increasing polarization and division almost everywhere we look. I know a lot of us are concerned about our freedoms, our safety, our rights, what the future holds for us in many domains, you know, the environment, foreign policy, the economy and just genuine empathy and kindness in the world. We are seeing so much suffering and injustice. And it is not a pleasant feeling to be sitting in, especially since that feeling in particular jeopardizes some of our very core needs as humans. We need to feel secure. We need to feel a sense of stability and certainty. Our human brains don't like uncertainty because

it triggers our survival instincts, which have very much evolved to help us avoid danger. You may think that these very ancient systems don't really apply when it comes to political outcomes or elections or anything of the sort, but it very much does. If you don't know what is going to happen, and everything in your mind and your body is telling you that, that they're not, you, that they're not, the outcome won't be good and it's going to be harmful to those that you love. This is something that you are going to be hypervigilant towards. This is something that will trigger stress. And the outcome of an election, current political circumstances, social circumstances,

those are all very valid triggers. Our fight or flight response is triggered by major societal, political, environmental change, especially when the stakes are high. And I think with recent events, often our fears can feel very unreal and abstract. And this isn't some abstract fear. This isn't some abstract, scary thought. The fear for many of us, it did come true. This could have consequences for us. And this definitely creates an even deeper emotional investment and acknowledgement of what's happened in the past and also fear around what could potentially and might actually happen in the future, there is a significant increase in fear that comes from that. And whilst we could typically call that catastrophizing,

you know, maybe there is a tendency to think, you know, no, like this is just catastrophic thinking. It's not going to be that bad. I think some of our fears don't feel unrealistic. And that is a really scary thought, that there is something that might be likely to occur as a result of this election, as a result of the political climate that we really don't want to face. And all of that is based in very human, very animal, very evolutionary anxiety that is meant to keep you safe in these moments. And that is meant to spur you on to do something. It's just that right now, it doesn't feel like you can. So I just want to tell you, what you are feeling is, completely understandable. Distress is a very valid emotional response when it feels like the world

is collapsing and it feels like that right now. I've received messages from so many of you saying that you feel so alone. It feels like society is going backwards, that this is not the kind of world that you want to live in. How can you plan for a future? What can you expect from your future? And I very much understand right now how very, very hard it is to put into words all the scenarios that our brains are cooking up. There's also a real sense of political fatigue. You know, for all the progress that we've made for how much hope we had, for how deeply we believe in what is right. Surely there is some way to fix this, but we're just too exhausted to even think of it right now. There is just too many emotions running amok. There is just too much stress almost paralyzing us. But we can't live in

that distress and this anxiety forever as much as it might feel like we're doing something about the problem, we're not. And that is the space that I want to move us into, the space where we can think more clearly about what we can do next. We can think more clearly about how we can look after ourselves, how we can approach this with a stoic mindset, with any mindset that helps us actually live, I guess. Essentially, there may not be a way to fix what has happened, but there is a better way to cope and there is a way to return to at least a sense of internal safety, even as wild things are happening outside, even as things in the future seem to threaten us. So from here on out, we are not going to talk about any specifics to do with the election, no specifics to do with

politics. Our focus is just on how to take care of yourself and those that you love and how to take care of your mind. That is our one job here from here on out. And I really just want to give you the space to have maybe a mental break from reading the news, from absorbing that kind of content and that kind of information. And instead give you some of the best psychology-based tips for managing the elevated political anxiety and stress that many of us have at the time. the moment. So without further ado, let's get into this. Hopefully, this is helpful. Hopefully, you better understand the political anxiety you might be experiencing right now. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter.

And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, research, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more

fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at It podcast.

I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 was big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode

where we've discussed crack, so I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now, so... Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes, I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah, for me, it's one of the most important years. for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart

Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations

with so many incredible guests. I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing and we're still chasing it and we don't know when we've done enough because people scoreboard watch life becomes about wins and losses Steve Burns Dustin Ross because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth

or are you a good person because you're afraid because that's two different intentions bro absolutely and that that's two different levels of trust I want you to just really be a good person Join me, Keir Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, Learn the Hardway. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Learn the Hardway and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so-ins, correct?

I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, a lesbian, Michael Marantini. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, news, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games. You get stupid games. prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends, oh my God, this is the same man. A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed.

I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The hardest thing to kind of come to terms with at this point is that you cannot change the outcome of what has happened

as much as you might want to. You know, the worry and the stress within you, it is calling you to act. It is naturally causing, calling you, to do something, to run, to fix the problem. Whilst you kind of know that the thing that is causing your stress, you can't fix that. You know, you can't fix an election. You can't fix whatever the political state is that you're experiencing right now

the way that you could fix a conflict with a friend or you could fix a screw up at work. These kinds of situations, these political, global situations, they're very unique and they're very rare in the impact that they have on a cycle. psychologically because we don't typically have the skills in our toolkit to deal with something so big and scary that we can't actually do anything about. We're so used to more everyday problems that might confront us, but which we naturally have a way through. So what we need in this situation is to essentially change our mindset. If we can't change our circumstances, we can change how we think about it. And we need to adopt a very counterintuitive perspective

which is that of a stoic. We need to almost, and it feels unnatural, but relax into all that's terrible. I know that sounds confusing. I know that sounds like, yeah, just like be okay with it. But let me explain what that means. So stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that basically means weathering the storm that you cannot fight and just letting the waves roll over you. It's about basically enduring hardship even when it is completely utterly uncomfortable because the

alternative of fighting and struggling against what you can't control, that alternative is suffering. It's basically saying that when circumstances cannot be changed, the thing that you can control is the level to which you choose to suffer. Some level of suffering is not, you know, optional, but it's almost like when you are being beat down by waves, like in the ocean. and you're just like struggling to swim and you're struggling to get your head underwater and they say sometimes you just need to float right that's what we're going to talk about now this component is very important you want to think about what you can't control because soicism it does not mean putting

your head in the sand it does not mean to abandon all activism to stop whatever you're doing what it really teaches us is that we should only be thinking about what we can control so our own thoughts our own actions, our own responses, everything else, like others' opinions, external events, like an election. That is ultimately beyond our control. You know, we cast our vote, we educate our family and friends, maybe we campaign, but when the day is done, we can't control how anyone else sees the world. And that is so frustrating. Like, I know the feeling of talking to someone and just wanting to grab them and say, like, can't you see what is happening in front of you. Can't you see this? Like, this is not good. Use your brain. Like, can't you see this the way that I

can see this? And that's not something that we have the power over all the time. So stoicism also encourages accepting when things are just shit. Things are just shit right now. But you choose, despite it all, to close your eyes, breathe in deep and find your inner garden. Find that place within you that no one can touch, that nothing can reach. and sit within that space as everything kind of rages on outside. You have, all of us have, an inner sanctuary that we can kind of water that helps us endure and be resilient, even in the hardest of times. I like to picture, you know, my inner stoic as this giant version of myself, who is being yelled at by someone. Some person is yelling and screaming at me and they are full of hate,

but what they don't know is that there is this like shield around me that makes everything really muffled and slow and as I'm watching them like sweat and scream and spit and get angry, I am untouched by it. I am just observing, even as that, you know, makes them more and more frustrated, this stoic version of me, this image is what I try and bring to these really uncomfortable, unfortunate, terrible situations. Like I'm a statue protected by. a force field and as I tune out what I can't control, this like very angry situation, this angry

person, I am allowed to tune in and I am able to tune into what I can. So what are the things you can control? You can control your impact on people's lives. You can control the love that you show people. You can control what you give back to your community. You can control your activism, what you create, your vote, your current environment, what you choose to consume, what you choose to believe. And the biggest one for me is I can choose the kindness that I choose to bring to every situation. And this is a really, really important part of my life philosophy. One of the things that has brought me through political uncertainty in Australia. And, you know, we had a recent, I guess, like, referendum that was just absolutely.

terrible. And what comforted me then, when the world just seemed very, very ugly and hideous, was that I continued to choose to make people believe in humanity and make them believe in kindness. Every person that I come across, I'm going to make sure they leave and that they know love. And I will make sure that they exit that interaction and they know that I respect them and I care about them. Like, I will be kindness. I will put back into the world what I want to see more of. When we have this really deep personal philosophy in the face of political uncertainty and political anxiety, you know, that can lead to less stress, better mental well-being,

and a greater sense of agency or capability, almost like you have this very deep well that only you control and that you can pull from in every single circumstance. And there was an amazing meta-analysis, which is, basically a study of studies about this very thing, about what it means to have a sense of purpose. And it was done in 2003 by the American Psychiatric Association. And what they basically said and what they found was that when you have a deep belief system and something that you trust and that you care about and that you can look at and say, that is why I'm here, this is what I'm going to bring to situations.

It builds greater resilience, especially when you were experiencing. to negative or on certain situations like those that we're seeing in these times. People who had this deep belief system that they could rest upon, they were so much more resilient and able to push through whatever was going on. And I really, really encourage you to find your version of this. You can steal mine if you want. Go for it. Please. Go for it. Steal mine. But what is so important is that you have something and you have something that feels like your own and that you can bring to your own universe and your own universe is, you know, the radius around you, which goes on to touch everyone in your life, that goes on to enter rooms, that goes on to make an impact.

Another part of embracing stoic principles is really focusing on being present. Now, I did do a whole episode on this, I think a little while back, and I cannot remember the number from the top of my head. Worth listening to, especially right now, but part of knowing what you can control definitely means focusing on what is actually going on in front of you right now. And that really involves reconnecting with your senses. Just pause for a second. What can you see? I want you to look for like five things right now that are the colour green. What is the furthest sound from you that you can hear? Really pause. What is that faraway sound? What parts of your body are touching you? your chair, are touching your steering wheel, or touching the ground, really like zone in on where

your skin is connecting to a surface. And in your immediate surroundings right now, is there any danger present in this moment? You know, in your, in your room, in your car, at the gym, wherever you are, are you actually in physical danger? Is there something that is going to hurt you right now? And the answer is probably not. But the political anxiety we do feel does make us feel like at any point there is a threat that could come out and do you some serious harm. And we have to try and minimize that feeling. Yes, in the future, you may experience really hard challenges. There will be things that you cannot control that may hurt you. But right now, you cannot be in that state of anticipating those things constantly. The pressure that you put on your body and your mind and like the level of

cortisol that you will have flooding through your systems, the way that your immune system is just going to be completely compromised by this constant hypervigilance, that is something that we really do need to minimize because then when something terrible does happen, if it happens when some big change does occur, what that's going to mean is that you don't actually have the resources to deal with it because you spend a lot of. lot of time worrying about it. So right now, I just want you to remember that in the space around you, you are not in danger. And in those moments when you do just feel like all of your emotions, they're rising to the surface, they're like exploding, really rely on the very ancestral

old ways, the tried and tested ways that our body can calm itself by reconnecting with nature. nature is just so remarkable in moments like this i want you to go outside like right now or after you finish this episode take your shoes off take your socks off plant them like firmly in the dirt in the grass in the creek and you know the saying like go and touch some grass like yeah go and touch some grass turns out you know that's actually probably something we should be doing more of there's actually some truth and some serious good to that there was an article for from 2019 from Harvard Health, and it showed that just doing 20 to 30 minutes in nature a day,

making that part of your routine, or even just spending it in natural spaces, like eating your lunch outside, it really helped lower hormonal stress levels. Because, you know, nature, the outdoors, when you think about it, like, that is the environment in which we belong. That is where our body has naturally learnt to calm itself down.

that is where it feels most real and most connected. So in those moments where like everything just feels so loud and angry and just so stressful, I need you to go and access this very important, you know, deep part of you that can feel connected to nature and know that it is safe in that moment. This is also very, very good for climate anxiety. If that is something that you're struggling with specifically right now, it can be very easy and someone who is very anxious about the climate and has many friends who are very anxious about the climate. You know, it's very easy to disaster scenario, especially when you're

like inside all day and when you're locked up in the office, it's like, oh, does nature still exist anymore because I don't see it and all I'm reading in these terrible, terrible news articles, like it just makes everything feel so much worse. So when you do give yourself the opportunity to go outside and see that there is a lot about our natural world. that is still alive. There are beautiful spaces that are still thriving. Just brings you back for a second. I also have a friend who does like nature journaling.

So she has a journal like notebook and a bunch of like colorful pens and she will go out into nature and find a flower, a leaf, a riverbed, a rock, anything beautiful. And she will basically journal about that situation that she's in or she'll do it, like, draw a picture of this leaf. and it's actually really, really beautiful, and she highly recommends it. So finding your stoic persona, finding your personal philosophy, and being as present as possible, those are my first three tips. We are going to take a short break.

But when we return, we're going to discuss my final three ways that we can deal with our political anxiety at this time. So we will be right back in just a second. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when they're is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness,

fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils

were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking.

What the hell does George Bush got to do with a little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack all day, but just so y'all know.

I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed cracks. I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah.

For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of mental health awareness month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark.

Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing and we're still chasing it and we don't know when we've done enough because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,

you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth? Are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Keir Gaines, is we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free, our heart radio app.

Search Learn the Hardway and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself. at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct?

I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing.

Lesbian, Michael Marantini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona.

Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends... Oh my God, this is the same man.

A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves.

Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Following really big political events or like significant turning points when something major happens, our tendency is just to get as much information as possible to find any news site or any story that may tell us something that we don't know. Such a human instinct to know more is to be more aware and is to be more capable and more able to survive.

That is really where our hunger for knowledge, especially in these situations, comes from. And we feel very bitterly and strangely soothed by knowing more, even when the thing we know more about actually makes us want to like scream and throw up. That is how I felt the entire day, the other day was just like, wow, I can't get away from my phone, even though it's making me physically sick. That is the paradox of doom scrolling, spending so much time online and looking for more information and more sides to like an unfolding story that we actually end up hurting our mental health more than helping it. It is so easy to fall into this trap and it's one that I certainly have over the years glued to my phone even when I know that I'm just going to feel worse and the trick is

to be informed but not overwhelmed. That is your that is your equation informed but not overwhelmed and we do that by limiting how much you are allowed to keep investigating. I want you to have environments or points in your day when you are kind of allowed to be dead to what is happening in the world, whether that means unfollowing like news accounts on social media so that you can only read the news on your laptop at work so that, you know, outside of business hours, like you can't read the news. You know, you're still informed.

You still know what's going on, but do you really need to know right now in this instance, as soon as you wake up? You know, I found that to be so terrible for me. I would wake up, pick up my phone and it's like, here is a disaster. Here is like a bombing. Here is like, you know, children dead. Here is whatever. Like, here is Trump winning.

I know I said I wouldn't talk specifics. I'm very sorry. But, you know, when you wake up and that is the first thing that you see, what you consume is how you feel. It's very much like your media diet. If your media diet is very high in tragic, awful, cruel things, your tiny brain, your human brain, it cannot hold all of that at the same time. You are not meant to hold all of that information at the same time. Truly, like think back to how we have evolved to seek information and from who. It was tribal. It was limited. There was

not enough. You know, you were never going to have enough information at that given point to feel like you knew everything that was going on in the world. Because you, you know, as much as like it's a good thing that we do know so much more about our fellow humans and what they're going through, you have to just remember that your brain has not evolved to have as much access to information. So it is natural if you just feel completely confronted by that. And especially, when our new seeking gets very excessive. You will become burnt out. You will become fatigued.

So for the sake of yourself and for the sake of having energy and effort to put towards really important things, to put towards those you love, to put towards your community, to put towards yourself, you do need to find a healthy relationship with not just what news you access, but when you access it. So again, informed but not overwhelmed. Also, just sprinkle some good news in there. You know, there was a landmark study from just a few years ago from a university in Alabama, and it found that people who share and access positive news stories mixed in with their normal news.

After two weeks, they reported being happier and more emotionally stable. They felt more optimistic about the future than those who didn't. And it didn't mean that they didn't care. I think sometimes we're like, oh, if I feel optimistic, well, then, I'm not going to be motivated to change anything. I'm not going to be motivated to having conversations. I'm just not going to care anymore. Actually, no, we need optimism. We need to believe that things can get better. We need to believe that the world can be brighter. We need optimism more than we need pessimism in times like this. So just remember if you're feeling like shit, your media diet might be a

factor because you are what you consume. So if you need a rest day from chaos and tragedy, no one's going to blame you. No one's going to say that you're being naive or ignorant. You're having a rest day. It's okay. And you know, on a similar point, just as we are what we consume, we are also who we surround ourselves with. The power of community in times when we are experiencing political anxiety cannot be overstated. Community is the most psychologically important thing in times like this. And I know that is a big statement to make, but I just think that it heals so much. It is so protective when it comes to our mental health during periods of political uncertainty and crisis. And it's so hard going through anything alone, let alone what

feels like the world ending, let alone what feels like a complete shift from what you expected. So this is really the time to engage and connect even when you want to withdraw. And I will say that is a problem that I have. When I am emotionally confronted by something, when I'm quite stressed, I just feel like I have absolutely nothing in the tank to give to my relationship. So I self-isolate. I will pull away. I'll hide away in my house.

I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to make plans. I'm not replying to messages. It's a terrible habit of mine, one that I'm trying to break. and the way that I'm trying to break it is just consciously being like remembering, consciously remembering that when I am around people, I do feel better. Remembering that cause and effect that always typically happens.

I don't feel better when I self-isolate. I do feel better when I'm around other people, especially people that I trust, that I love, that care for me and I care for them. That is community, that is belonging. I will say at the moment there is a tendency and I found that, in my friendships to just like catch up and everyone just has like, it's just like what the fuck is happening and just like wants to talk about so much stuff and just wants to, you know, just wants to just get it off their chest. That's healthy. There is a healthy level of

complaining and seeking comfort, especially just feeling shitty together. That's sometimes just one of the most healing things in the world. It's just to be like, great, can we both agree that we're not in a good mood? Can we both agree that we're not feeling great? Beautiful. Now I just feel a little bit less alone. But I do just want you to be conscious of when it gets to a level where you just feel entirely hopeless. That kind of like collective anxiety that we tend to feel when we are in a big group or talking to our friends and everyone's just getting more and more angry and frustrated and scared. That is a symptom of when group psychology kind of lets us down. You know, it's not group think. It's basically just that when we are around people that we are close to, we do tend

to absorb their emotions and that tends to heighten our own reactions to things. So please be conscious of it, be aware of it. I think that having a rant, having a debrief, just getting it off your chest, it's like a plateau. Like it gets healthy to a point. No, it's almost like a, wow, I can't remember my math, but it's almost like an upside down you and someone's going to tell me what that is. I just can't remember it right now. But it gets, it feels healthy to a point. And then we flip. over and we go down the other side. There is a limit. So be aware of when it's doing more harm than good. I really learnt this from my mum and I learnt this with my mum. Sometimes she is so passionate about these things. She is such a huge, you know, political and social activist and she cares so deeply

about every single human on this earth that sometimes, and I know this is going to sound insane, but it's too much. It's like, okay, I cannot talk about this. I did not. for the fifth night in a row, I cannot get, because I'm going to get angry. I'm going to get really frustrated. I'm going to just feel like so sad and so like, it's, you know, I just can't do that. You know, there has to be a break for me. So I often just say to her, like, we're going to do five minutes where you can talk to me about, we can talk to each other about, you know, what kind of terrible news story is going on.

We can talk about politics or we can just talk about whatever we want to do with this thing. And then we have to have a break. because I don't want my relationship with you to be defined by feeling a heightened level of stress every time that I walk away because I feel like all the world's problems are resting on our shoulders. So step away from conversations when you're at your limit and truly ask yourself, I know it feels like a selfish question, but do ask yourself, like, is this going to change anything? Is this going to change anything? Listening to this for like the fifth time today, getting upset about it, is it just going to make me feel worse and is it just going to mean that when it does come to

doing something, I'm not going to have the energy for that. This is really what I want to finish on. You need to do something with your anxiety and the best way to do that is to start giving back. This is a perfect time to really reflect on what you can be doing for those that need it. our anxiety and distress, it does feel worse when we sit in it and when we let it get bigger and bigger and bigger by thinking that we can outthink all of the world's problems, that we can out think how shit the situation is when we can find a way out. We're going to return to those principles of stoicism. Concern yourself with what you can do and what you can control, and we can control what we give back. I really start to think about

A cause that you could get involved in that makes you feel like you can make a difference in your local community. I think we really don't acknowledge how much actually gets done on the backs of people who volunteer their time and who care deeply and give their energy and give their passion and give their money to a cause that they care about. And oh my goodness, do they not make the biggest difference in some people's lives? I want you to find that thing, that thing that really drives you. and often here's a little tip about how you can figure that out. The thing that is most upset you about the situation, the thing that you feel most upset to see threatened,

that is what you care about the most. What makes you the angriest, what makes you the most anxious, what really lights a fire in terms of your sense of justice, that is where you should be devoting your time. I want to take all those feelings and transfer them into a way of giving back. That is just one of the biggest antidotes I have found to any form of anxiety, really, but political anxiety in particular, is really, and I just want to hammer this home. You cannot control.

There is so much you cannot control. But your little slice of your world, your little universe, you can control that and you can give back and you can make that space happy and you can change people through small daily actions of kindness. and you can seriously change their lives. You can change people's lives by volunteering, by giving back to your community. Feel like it always, you know, as being global citizens and having so much access to the news, it feels like we have to do something big constantly and we have to be like, you know,

there's so much that's bad about the world. Like, how do I fix it all? You can't. I'm sorry. You can't. But you can, you can focus on something that the people around you need. and be that solution in your local area and in your friendship groups and with your family. I also just want to say a final reminder, it does feel really scary right now.

I know that there are a lot of unknowns and I think a lot of us are thinking, how am I going to be able to cope with this? What's the way forward? Remember that you are capable. You will find a way through. You will survive. You will be okay even when it feels like you won't be. There are people who love you.

there are support systems, there are people who are on the same page as you who are not going to abandon you. So just focus on the good as much as you can right now. Political anxiety and political uncertainty is an incredibly natural reaction to changing circumstances that feel threatening and dangerous and it's okay to be feeling that way right now. But you cannot exist in that space forever. There are a lot of things that, I hate to say. It's not that you have to get used to them, but it's kind of like, okay, cool, can't change that. What can I change? What can I do? Let's focus on that. Let's really, really lean into my friendships, my community, my kindness, my purpose, my beliefs. This is something that's going to be very nourishing for me for this time.

So I am just sending a whole lot of love and a whole lot of comfort. I hope that this episode has just given you a bit of peace today, made you feel a little bit better about the world, made you feel like there is a space where you can come to throughout whatever happens, you know, for comfort and for peace and for safety, you're always welcome here. Your mental health is respected and cared for here and will always be cared for. And I just love that we have such a beautiful little slice of the internet. So thank you so much for listening. I hope you got something from this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, if you did, please feel free to leave a five-star review on Apple podcast, Spotify, wherever you are listening right now. Make sure that you are following along

for new episodes. I'm going to do an episode specifically on Doom scrolling in a couple of weeks because I feel like that's something that, you know, I just couldn't get into in one, in this episode. There's so much information about it, psychologically, emotionally, like, scientifically, sociologically as well. So stay tuned for that episode. And if you you have anything more you want to say and any suggestions for episodes, you can DM me at that psychology podcast. We would love to hear from you over there. Until next week, stay safe, stay kind. And the most important of all this week, be gentle with yourself. We will talk very, very soon. Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hardway with your favorite therapist

and hosts Kear Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations, that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor. It signals to the world that you're not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to, listen to learn the hard way on the AHA radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

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