The Psychology of your 20s - 266. The psychology of alcohol

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

Alcohol is one of societies most highly accepted and used drugs. But what is it's actual impact on our brains and our bodies, and what is the psychology behind why we use alcohol and why it makes us f...eel so good? In today's episode, let's break down the true psychology of alcohol, including:  Why we feel drunk and how alcohol is processed How alcohol influences our neurotransmitters and brain communication Why we experience hangxiety + blacking out What makes alcohol so addictive When to know you have a problem  How your health and your body changes when you go sober + what to expect The link between socialising and alcohol + more  Listen now to learn the essentials about the relationship between you, your body, your emotions and that cheeky glass of wine.    PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.
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Starting point is 00:01:16 And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hardway with your favorite therapist and host Kear Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor. It signals to the world that you're not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you're not. you need to listen to learn the hard way on the iha radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast hello everybody welcome back to the show welcome back to the podcast new listeners old listeners
Starting point is 00:02:17 wherever you are in the world it is so great to have you here back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s i just want to say a huge big full thank you to all of the love and support that you guys have shown my new podcast, Matra, so far. In case you haven't heard, I launched a new show. You know, I just wanted to spend even more hours behind a microphone. One podcast wasn't enough. But Matra is basically a weekly podcast that I put out every single Monday that gives you a phrase and affirmation for your week to help you guide your week, whether it is I release the need for external validation, I cultivate peace within, I create my own reality, we go into what each mantra means at the start of every week to kind of give you
Starting point is 00:03:12 some guidance and some inspiration as you start things off and as you get into it, whatever it is you are going through. So the first episode was released yesterday on the 13th of January and the love that you guys have poured into that show already left me kind of speechless. So thank you so much for those who have already listened, already rated the show, who are following along on Instagram. Every single little two-second act, whether you're rating it, whether you're just playing the first, you know, 30 seconds, whether you honestly just hit follow means the world.
Starting point is 00:03:48 So I really, really appreciate it. But with that aside, just to say a big thank you, I want to talk about today's topic because today we are talking about alcohol, specifically what alcohol does to our brains, how it impacts us emotionally and psychologically, and also this shift we're kind of seeing in society today towards sobriety, especially in our generation of 20-somethings. A lot of us are starting to question whether our current drinking habits, both individually and as a culture, are really what's best. And this has been a big topic of conversation in my life at the moment.
Starting point is 00:04:29 It's been coming up everywhere I look because I'm doing dry January. And you know what? I just kind of set it as a personal challenge. And if I'm being completely honest with you all, I did not expect it to be as hard as it was. It honestly shocked me a bit because I'm not someone who's ever had a problem with alcohol. I could always stop drinking what I wanted. But suddenly these 30 days have been hard.
Starting point is 00:04:54 and it's really got me thinking about, well, the psychology of alcohol and the role that it plays during this decade of life. I think it's been so difficult because every social event or thing that's happening, every interaction or opportunity to hang out with my friends, kind of has alcohol at the centre, maybe not every single event, but probably every second one, whether it's going to the pub, going out for drinks, going to a party, a birthday, a celebration, dinner. Alcohol is very much at the centre. And honestly, is someone who actually does like the taste of wine and who will have a few glasses of wine or a beer, I never really noticed how dependent those situations felt on drinking until I put myself in a position where I couldn't participate in kind of the group activity.
Starting point is 00:05:45 What I have noticed has been really interesting as well, both. health-wise, mental health-wise, brain-wise, but also social-wise. So I want to not only discuss the role of alcohol on our brains and our bodies, because I think that's just something we should all understand, but also what happens when we quit alcohol, what changes you're likely to notice, how to deal with things like anxiety and the rise of sober curiosity amongst us. Also, some of the things I've learned going out sober that might surprise you. I also want to go kind of more in depth into the psychology of dependence, substance abuse, why we do feel like alcohol is so conditioned into how we socialize and so much more. I think this episode is really important and
Starting point is 00:06:36 it's essential listening if you're in your 20s and beyond because how often do we really pause and consider how big of a role this substance plays in our lives? You know, until recently, I hadn't really done that thinking. So this is also such a really richly and deeply researched area. I do just want to say the evidence and the science is constantly evolving when it comes to alcohol. Like a paper literally came out yesterday that I didn't get a chance to put into this episode. So as of right now, hopefully it is accurate. But maybe in a couple of years, the research will change again and I'll have to revisit this topic.
Starting point is 00:07:13 But for right now, this is what we know about the psychology. of alcohol, specifically in our 20s. So let's get into it. Let's get some basics down, Pat, first. How is alcohol processed by the body? Why does it make us feel the way it does? Good and bad. What is the impact on the brain? Three things we really need to know. So first thing to know, when you have a glass of wine, when you have a little apparel spritz, your martini, your shots of vodka, whatever it is, insert drink of choice here. The key chemical or substance that we are interested in that makes alcohol, alcohol is ethanol. This is what is going to make you feel tipsy or drunk and ethanol is really just a byproduct of the fermentation of a plant. So for wine,
Starting point is 00:08:03 it's grapes, for beer, it's barley, for vodka, it's, you know, potatoes or sugar or rice, gin, it's juniper berries. And fermentation basically just means that the fruit is rotting. It's fermenting. So when you drink alcohol, you're basically just drinking some really funky juice, you know, something that is rotten. And it's important to note that our body actually sees that in some ways as poison. Like it's not meant to be here, even if it feels nice. If you, for example, see someone throw up from drinking too much alcohol on a night out, that is basically your body being like, oh my gosh, we have been poisoned, get this stuff out of me. And I remember someone telling me that when I was at uni, actually. She was like,
Starting point is 00:08:47 like that is your body responding to a poison overdose and it really changed my whole perspective on how much I would drink on a night out like binge drinking was just so casually prevalent in my university experience that hearing that person explained it that way like kind of really shocked me so you know on a less extreme note when our body metabolizes alcohol ethanol even in small quantities a number of things happen. I'm not going to get too scientific, but essentially it can only be processed by our liver, which essentially does see ethanol
Starting point is 00:09:24 or something that is harmful, and it tries to clear it out of our system. It tries to clear it out of our body by processing it. But when we have more than the liver can process at any given time, this excess alcohol in our body is what starts to give us that loose, drunken, tipsy feeling, because the alcohol is not being processed as fast as it's coming in. That's not necessarily a problem at low levels, only at high levels.
Starting point is 00:09:52 And all those feelings that we are going to be experiencing occur because alcohol is not only a drug, but it's what we call a depressant drug. So in comparison to stimulant drugs like MDMA, cocaine, that sort of thing, we have depressant drugs like alcohol, marijuana. Now, they're called depressants because of the impact they have on the central nervous system and the impact that alcohol or ethanol has is one of basically sedation. So your central nervous system, you hear that come up a lot. It is made up of two things,
Starting point is 00:10:26 your brain and your spine, your spinal cord. And alcohol is actually one of the few substances that can cross the blood brain barrier, meaning that it can almost reach into our brain cells and impact them directly. And when it does this, that it slows everything down and it disrupts normal functioning. So basically, at any given moment, right now, you right now listening to this podcast, all of your neurons in your brain are chattering away. They're sending information back and forth like little workers in a big warehouse and they're thinking, oh, this is interesting, this isn't interesting, pay attention to this
Starting point is 00:11:04 while you're watching the road, while you're cleaning. They're sourcing all this information and alcohol is like going into that warehouse and slowly turning down the lights so that none of those little worker neurons can see where they're going and they can't talk as easily. That is basically alcohol's effect. It is kind of shutting down the systems, making it harder for your neurons to talk. Now this, this depress an effect on our brain is what creates so many of those typical effects that we associate with drinking. So, big one, feeling a little bit clumsy, a bit slower, but also less inhibiting. because all of those parts of your brain that would normally tell you to hush or would respond to
Starting point is 00:11:47 physical stimuli, they are kind of quietening down, they're finding it harder to communicate with each other. Think about like in a normal circumstance, you go to say something embarrassing or weird and your brain goes, okay, let's read the cues, let's think this through. We're not going to say that. But when you're drinking, your brain gets to that realization a little bit too slow. It also slows down our anxiety, meaning that your anxious thoughts for a lot of us finally seem quieter. We're going to talk about that in a second and why that's actually going to backfire on you.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Another impact that alcohol has that comes from that sedative effect is slurred speech. It's why you should also never drive when drinking because your response times are slower, even if you don't think that they are. It's why we feel sleepy. Alcohol also causes our brain to release something called opioid peptides, which basically are the thing that signals the brain to release dopamine and serotonin. And when they do, those areas of our brain open the floodgates and they let out, they make more of these neurotransmitters available to us, which is what makes us feel really happy and euphoric
Starting point is 00:13:04 because of how this substance impacts our reward pathways and also the release of endorphins. So alcohol triggers opioid peptides, which trigger dopamine and serotonin, and in the process also releases endorphins. It's interesting because they actually only really discovered that this is what was happening, this peptide to dopamine to endorphin link. About 12 years ago, you know, they long, assumed it, but it was really hard to prove that this was why alcohol made us so happy. The way they did finally prove it was that they did a study back in 2012 where they injected
Starting point is 00:13:46 25 people, half of whom were heavy drinkers, half of whom weren't, with a drug that would bind their opioid receptors. But then they radioactively tagged those receptors. So they basically gave them a low level of a drug that stimulated their opioid receptors and that drug would obviously attached to those receptors so they could see where they were in the brain. And then they asked them to drink alcohol. And the people who got particularly a lot of pleasure out of drinking, so heavy drinkers, they, all those areas, those places where the opioid peptides were located based on that previous drug insertion, they lit up even further. And so that really showed researchers and scientists, only 12 years ago, that that was the system and the reason why we get that euphoric
Starting point is 00:14:31 feeling. So the effects of alcohol, they're not just physical and biological. They're also really psychological, not just because of that happy feeling, but because of the impact on our mind and our mood in general and also our personality. This amazing paper from 2008 titled, Why Do We Drink? Puts it really perfectly. We drink because of alcohol's ability to alter our emotional state. and make us more like the person we actually want to be, even if just for a second. We want to be the confident person, the relaxed person, the disinhibited person, the less stress person. And because alcohol gives us a gateway to this realization of the ideal self, that is actually
Starting point is 00:15:21 what can make it so addictive and what can fuel dependency. You know, it's not just the feeling. it's who it makes us become in comparison to who we are in our everyday lives. You know, that is one factor. I also think the other factor why the other reason it's so normalized and widely used is, of course, the social element to it. How can we forget that? You know, that social celebratory component to the use of alcohol is what makes it so hard for us
Starting point is 00:15:52 to contemplate stepping away from it because we think that we're going to miss out on so many other things. you know, for millennium, people have known that alcohol makes us have more fun. It makes us merry, makes us open, more relaxed. And so it has become integrated into our culture, our way of communicating and socializing. You know, the earliest evidence of humans making and drinking alcohol was from 7,000 BC before Christ. That is a lot of years ago. That is definitely not modern history. Actually, where they found this wine was in China, in what is now known as the Yellow River Valley. And it really goes to show that humans have for a long time used this substance to alter their state of mind and for enjoyment. Now, you can obviously get this
Starting point is 00:16:45 buzzed, euphoric, relax feeling from even just one drink, even a couple of drinks. But at some point, your body can't process the alcohol fast enough. And so initially you will get that buzzed feeling and then you'll start feeling nauseous, dizzy, confused. And you may even black out. Let's actually talk about what happens to your brain when you black out. Now, I'm talking blacking out, not passing out. So not like, you know, being completely unconscious, but being conscious but having no
Starting point is 00:17:16 memory of what has happened. When this happens, you've basically drunk enough. alcohol to disrupt a really vital part of your brain called the hippocampus. Now, this part of your brain, it's responsible for a lot of things. But in this context, it's really responsible for consolidating and storing memories. So although you might be awake and you might be currently experiencing your reality, your brain cannot take those moments and store them properly. So that is what leads to those gaps in what you can remember.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Everything that you're experiencing when you're really drunk on a night out or wherever you are, basically it's only able to be temporarily held in sensory and short-term memory, which normally has a life expectancy of about a couple of minutes. So that's why you might wake up the next morning and go, hey, this is so blurry. I can't remember saying that. I can't remember doing that, even though you haven't necessarily passed out at any point. When we pass out, on the other hand, what we are experiencing is, as I described before,
Starting point is 00:18:24 basically minor alcohol poisoning. And when I say minor, I mean less extreme than the worst case scenario, but honestly, any kind of alcohol poisoning is not that great. And the next morning, you know, how can we talk about the psychology of alcohol and not talk about the next day? When we've drunk past that limit, we get a hangover. and that's typically due to dehydration and because when your liver breaks down alcohol, a byproduct is called ancetalahide, which is what makes you really nauseous and gives you headaches.
Starting point is 00:18:59 And then we also have anxiety as a component of that. I made a full episode on anxiety maybe two years ago. The episode is called the Psychology of Anxiety that goes really into depth on this subject. but as a summary, when we drink, part of why we feel that calm feeling I was talking about is also because of the release of a neurotransmitter called Gaba. And in response to alcohol, our brain dumps a bunch of this into our body. Gabba has that sedative effect. It really slows things down.
Starting point is 00:19:34 It reduces your anxiety. It reduces chatter between your neurons. The next day, though, our brain is like, all right, cool. We need to get everything back in balance now. So it releases more of Gabba's counterpart, glutamate. Now, glutamate has the opposite effect. It has an excitatory effect. And that is why you feel quite anxious the next morning
Starting point is 00:19:57 because it takes a while for your brain to really find the right level and restore that normal chemical balance. So it's pumping in more glutamate, pumping in more gabba, pumping in more glutamate. And, you know, they're kind of trying to race to the top and your anxiety is rising and rising. That is why you can feel really overwhelmed by, oh my God, what did I say last night? What did I do? Even when you didn't do anything, you feel like there's this lingering sense that something is wrong and this rising anxiety in your body. That, my friends, is glutamate. So I think, you know, that even that interaction between Gabba and glutamate really sums up
Starting point is 00:20:37 alcohol consumption for me. For every reaction you have with alcohol, there is a counter reaction. you might feel happy and merry, but then the next day you might feel sad and depressed. When the buzz wears off, you might feel uninhibited, but the next day you feel anxious again. And for me, alcohol also was just a really terrible contributor to my mental health, because obviously, like you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed. You've had a really hard day. You might have a couple glasses of wine, but I was finding that I would wake up the next day. Firstly, I wasn't as productive.
Starting point is 00:21:10 I didn't have as much mental clarity. which is so important to me. But secondly, all of my anxious, stressful, worrisome feelings and sensations were just heightened and elevated and it was unbearable. And that is something that I have noticed, you know, in this short period of time, and there's two weeks that I haven't been drinking. My anxiety symptoms have declined. Like they're still there, but they feel manageable.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Also, I'm getting, you know, riding less of. of a wave, like an up and down wave of spiked emotions from really jubilant to really, you know, terrified and sad. Very interested to see how that goes like in the next two weeks after a month. And even if I can do like six months, I don't know. I've got, you know, my book coming out. I kind of want to have a little glass of champagne with that. But even in moderation, whether my alcohol consumption is something that is directly correlated to poor mental health episodes for me. I do want to put in like a little disclaimer here. Like this advice and information I'm presenting isn't presented in a way to just be like, everyone be sober and trying to
Starting point is 00:22:22 dissuade you from ever drinking again. Like I think I will eventually drink again. I just also think that what I needed to understand was some of the consequences and, you know, really re-acknowledging myself what was happening in my body in response to alcohol and whether I was willing to opt into that interaction or whether I'd be better off without it. But I honestly do think, like, I'll drink again. I probably will get drunk again, probably a couple of times. So this isn't like a blanket. If you're listening to this, never drink again kind of episode. I just think that any form of education gives you an informed choice. And you can take this and be like, cool, I'm still going to get blackout drunk. And I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't promote that. But it's still your choice,
Starting point is 00:23:06 as long as you know what you're doing to your body. All right, let's take a short break because something we haven't spoken about yet is the psychology behind alcohol dependency and addiction. I think that deserves its whole section of the podcast. So we will be back after this short break. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs
Starting point is 00:23:32 when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong.
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Starting point is 00:24:34 I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84's big to me, not just because of crack.
Starting point is 00:24:58 I'm down to talk about crack all day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you for finishing that sentence. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:17 For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking. Trip Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we
Starting point is 00:25:46 get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it. And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,
Starting point is 00:26:02 because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth? Are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Keer Gaines,
Starting point is 00:26:16 as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free, our heart radio app, search Learn the Hardway, and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd
Starting point is 00:26:33 found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistency, in her story. This began a year's long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so-ins, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took
Starting point is 00:26:50 an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Alesspian, Michael Marantini. My mind was blown.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges.
Starting point is 00:27:24 This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why is it that some people cannot stop drinking when they start? Why do some people get really drunk, make terrible mistakes, ruin relationships, and they still cannot quit? Basically, I think the question that I'm asking is, what makes alcohol so addictive for some people? And it really, it really is, even if we don't acknowledge it. Researchers at Oxford University, they've actually called it the second most addictive drug on
Starting point is 00:28:05 the planet second only to heroin. Like, that's why. to me. Yet it's so widely accepted. If, you know, we were all going around doing heroin every Friday, Saturday, and odd Tuesday, you best believe that your friends would be like, hey, intervention happening here, this isn't a good idea. But alcohol is just not treated with the same level of caution. What really makes alcohol so addictive, and I've already kind of mentioned it, is what it does to us psychologically as well as physically. And psychologically, what it does is that it numbs us, but not only that, it also lights up the reward centres in our brain. So, you know, of course our brain is going to continue to repeat behaviors or tell us to
Starting point is 00:28:51 repeat behaviors that are pleasurable, rewarding. And also, you know, alcohol provides relief in a sense from really hard things, from negative circumstances. When that association between, you know, alcohol makes me happy, alcohol takes away bad things. When that association becomes a pattern that becomes a habit, it becomes a lot harder and harder to stop. We also have to acknowledge, you know, a lot of people feel more like themselves, I guess, in their drunk state. And so, of course, they're going to continue to drink and sometimes drink heavily to put them back in the shoes of this person they wish that they were. This really, this pattern
Starting point is 00:29:36 and association is really the neurological basis for addiction. And we typically see addiction as happening in three stages. So if we're speaking of alcohol, often people begin with the binge and intoxication stage where we're experiencing all the pleasure, we're experiencing all the happy thoughts. We associate drinking with really fun things, environments, people, and it hasn't gotten bad yet. But then we get to the withdrawal period where it just feels quills. crap to not be drinking because of the hangovers, whatever, and also the negative effect stage. So when we do stop, we become irritable, sad, depressed, anxious, anxious.
Starting point is 00:30:17 So we drink again to reduce the stress of not drinking. And then that is really followed by the preoccupation and anticipation stage. This is when we have strong urges. We have cravings when they're not acceptable. Maybe we are watching the clock for 5pm. We're sneaking drinks at work. this is where we don't feel like we can have fun without it. We don't think we can function without it.
Starting point is 00:30:41 And it's where, you know, alcohol abuse disorder and alcohol addiction really kind of takes hold. Some of us are more prone to this than others. And one of the biggest factors that makes us more prone to it is genetics. It's genetic factors. And recent studies, including one from only last year, have showed that there are certain genes associated with an addiction. or dependency on alcohol, and those genes are inherited. Some, you know, scientists, some researchers even call substance use disorders or alcoholism a complex genetic disease, a genetic disease like, you know, those that cause birth defects
Starting point is 00:31:24 or birth deformities. And it's also linked to generational trauma. It's linked to environment, to learn behaviors, all of which are kind of passed down from those above us, passed down from our family. And, you know, of course, trauma comes into play here. You know, a study in Australia found that a third of adults who were exposed to childhood trauma go on to abuse alcohol later in life. A third of them. And, you know, as a country who has Australia being, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:54 as a terrible history, a terrible, terrible history, you know, you can see why, people whose families and whose culture have endured that suffering would have problems with alcohol because as it's as it's called it's a complex genetic and generational disease that's how some people really see it this is why um i really think that people who struggle with alcoholism or substance addiction or abuse of any kind they deserve so much sympathy um maybe people get upset at me for saying that and say, you know, no, my uncle has this and he doesn't deserve a lick of sympathy. He did this to himself. That's your perspective and your truth.
Starting point is 00:32:36 What I'm saying is that I don't think anyone would choose that life for themselves. No one, as a child, as a three, four, five year old says, when I grow up, I want to be dependent on alcohol. No one dreams of that. But I've also seen in my own life how easy it is to fall into that pattern. and I've seen this in people that I know who seem totally fine and normal, but have serious problems with alcohol. They're just able to hide it because they have a good support network
Starting point is 00:33:09 because of, you know, other things in their life. You know, I just don't think that it really comes down to not being disciplined. I think that or being lazy. I really actually think that it can happen to anyone. All it takes is one tragedy. bad year, one instance of bad luck. And all you have left might be alcohol. That is how you self-sooth.
Starting point is 00:33:38 And I think it's as simple as that. It's such a widely available and accepted drug that there's also people who don't even question that they might have a problem until it's too late. You know, living in Australia, we have such a huge binge drinking culture that I'm so sure that there are people I would even know who don't even realize. that they have a problem until they would try to stop until they'd try to quit. And, you know, they couldn't do it. Like, even I struggled.
Starting point is 00:34:06 There's also the important thing to remember, which is that alcohol is commonly used as a maladaptive coping mechanism because of, again, how it can be used to help us manage stress, bad thoughts, inadequacy. It does remove bad feelings, but it also prevents a deeper, truer, form of emotional coping. I think we really need to articulate the distinction here between dependence, abuse and addiction because they are used very interchangeably, even I've been doing so. So let's clarify this for a second. When people use the term dependence, they are usually referring to a physical dependence on a substance.
Starting point is 00:34:44 So what that is characterized by is symptoms of increased tolerance. So it's harder for you to get drunk even as you drink more and also withdrawal. So obviously withdrawal is the removal of the substance when you are sober. It doesn't feel great. You feel sick. You feel gross as the alcohol leaves your body. And while it's possible to have a physical dependence without being addicted, often, it's a very slippery slope and it's right around the corner.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Addiction is one step above dependence because it's marked by a change in behavior that is caused not only by biochemical changes in the brain from using. alcohol, but also psychological changes, you know, linked to substance abuse. The substance, and in this case it's alcohol, becomes the main priority for someone who is suffering from addiction, regardless of the harm they cause to themselves or others. So this is a really important part, even if it's hurting family members, even if you're going to lose your job, like you just cannot stop. You just cannot stop.
Starting point is 00:35:53 something interesting though is that you can be addicted to alcohol and not abusing it or even using it like you could be completely sober and still addicted to alcohol which sounds strange but it's actually a very core philosophy of alcoholics anonymous that you're basically always going to be an addict you know there was some controversy around this because if you tell someone who's zero days sober hey, no matter what you do, you're always going to be an addict and that is a bad, dirty word, so you better not, it's not even worth trying. Like, that's not a fun thing to hear. You know, it's not a fun thing to think that you're forever going to be under the control of this substance
Starting point is 00:36:34 or your identity is going to be associated with this substance. So some people have said that idea that you're always an addict is not necessarily good for an optimistic internal environment. But there are people who say, you know, knowing that you're always an addict, you know, you are someone who is always going to be an addict, who was an addict, serves as a good reminder to them that they do have a more addictive prone personality. So they shouldn't take chances, even trying to drink alcohol as in a normal way. Like that is not something that they can do.
Starting point is 00:37:07 So wherever you sit on that kind of scale of whether you think it should exist that you're always an addict or not, like it's very much an individual choice, what's going to allow you to move past, dependency and addiction in the best way. There is also, I think, one less severe level of alcohol dependence or abuse that I would call context-based dependence. And I think this particularly applies to our 20s. You might not have a problem with alcohol. You might be able to stop for weeks or months, maybe just weeks, let's say that, maybe a couple of days. But, you know, every time your friends say come out with us, let's go to the club. My God, I sound so old.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Let's go clubbing. Let's go out. Let's go to this party. You have to drink. You feel like once you're in that environment, there is no stopping you. That is not just addiction in the traditional sense, but rather a contextual reliance on alcohol kind of as a social lubricant or a way to fit in. Like you could not imagine going to something and not drinking.
Starting point is 00:38:15 and when you do it's incredibly hard. I think in these moments, drinking really does become tied to the context rather than a personal craving. Like this kind of dependence is subtle because when you're not in those environments, you might not want to drink at all. But it's also something that means,
Starting point is 00:38:33 you know, it's also a form of dependence that can go unnoticed. I think it's especially problematic when you're someone who gets to the party and can't stop drinking. So I think it's really worth, reflecting on whether the choice to drink in those moments is truly yours or if you're being influenced by the environment, by other people's expectations of you, and kind of just like this
Starting point is 00:38:56 context-based reliance. You know, if you don't feel good after drinking and if you always like, God, I don't want to do that again, if you feel pressured, if you know you want to go for a run next day, but you still end up going too far, I think that that's when you know it's a bit of a dangerous social habit. Perhaps even for you, it's more linked to phoma, right? And the way alcohol reduces stress in a situation or makes it feel like you belong, you don't want to miss out on the fun. Perhaps it's a fear of social exclusion of not being part of the interesting stories, of not being part of the moment. But it is something that I think if you're in your 20s, you need to recognize how does drinking and social acceptance go hand in hand? Something really positive that I've
Starting point is 00:39:41 seen, you know, more and more, though, is a lot of us taking the sober route or being sober curious. That's the name for it these days. You know, there is this idea that you're either a problem drinker, an alcoholic, or a normal drinker. It was no issues with alcohol. But more and more, definitely seeing these like shades of grey when it comes to dependency. And sober curiosity is this amazing kind of lifestyle choice that doesn't require a complete, commitment to going sober for the rest of your life, but it does mean that you can choose to kind of dip your toes into occasional or periodic sobriety and just kind of modify your drinking habits without feeling like it's all or nothing. You know, it's not because you're necessarily worried
Starting point is 00:40:30 about dependency. It's more that you've evaluated what drinking costs you versus what you would benefit from cutting down or going sober for small periods of time. I have noticed that more and more in my own social circles. Something I actually noticed recently was more non-alcoholic drinks being available at parties. It's become a lot more normal to ask someone like, are you drinking at the moment, rather than just assuming that they are, more people doing dry Jan or dry July. And I think that's really something we can expect more as we deprioritize drinking or make small swaps and you know I promise to tell you what I've known as the mental health thing has been one thing
Starting point is 00:41:12 but there are so many other benefits you sleep better you are less stress because you're not artificially elevating and then lowering and then elevating again your gabber and glutamate levels so your brain and body is able to find that sweet spot and stay there you know if you drink quite a bit and then you suddenly stop sometimes you do experience like a strange spike in anxiety in the first few weeks because your brain is adjusting to not having this substance to reduce or relax it, but after a while, like, it turns out that your body can manage that stress itself. It doesn't need the help of alcohol. We also see regeneration in the frontal lobe, which is where alcohol hits the hardest,
Starting point is 00:41:55 the frontal lobe and the cerebellum. And the frontal lobe is responsible for a lot of our executive functioning, decision-making, self-control, our emotions, our personality. and sometimes you might not know it, but prolonged and heavy drinking actually kills off brain cells in that area and across the brain, and it causes your brain to shrink. It reduces brain volume. So that is why alcohol is so often implicated in neurological diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.
Starting point is 00:42:25 When you are young and you cut back, you're giving your brain more of a chance. And you're allowing your brain space to prune, rewire, keep those cells healthy and that's why you may see an increase in mental clarity oh my goodness if I have not noticed that I have less brain fog almost none at the moment you feel refreshed you can get more done also you know because your sleep is likely improved as well like this is all coming together it's a common myth that you know alcohol helps you sleep it's where the term nightcap came from like having a drink, a cap of something to help you fall asleep.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Actually, to myth bust that one for you, drinking worsens your sleep quality significantly because it makes it harder for you to enter and therefore stay in REM sleep. So not drinking, better shut I. One of the things I've also noticed that I didn't expect was how much inflammation went away in my face particularly, but also in my body. Like within a week, I wasn't as puffy. I got less headaches. My skin was breaking out less.
Starting point is 00:43:36 It looked healthier. And that was just me going from like mid-range social drinking to no drinking at all. And it still made a really big difference. Like, oh my goodness. Even my hands and like my face is the big one where I just feel less like bloated and less like puffy. And it's really hard to like see, I think. if you as someone, like just a friend or a stranger and you weren't seeing my face every day, but obviously as someone who sees it every day, like I've definitely noticed this decline.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Your liver, your heart, they both do better. And this raises a really important point I haven't spoken about yet, which is another myth, the myth that alcohol is actually good for our health. I listened to this fascinating podcast by The New York Times called How Bad Is Alcohol for You Really, in which they basically debunk this idea that alcohol has any health benefit. Most of us have probably heard this suggestion or this quote unquote fact that a glass of red wine is like, good for your heart, it has antioxidants. Like it was even a fact that was like in the episode, like in an episode of the office,
Starting point is 00:44:46 it's so commonly spread. But actually when you review the study that this fact is taken from, the way they interpreted their data was really misleading. and now so many people believe a false conclusion. When they conducted this original study, they basically looked at people who drank versus didn't drink. And, you know, the people who did drink, it was quite moderate, maybe a couple of glasses of wine.
Starting point is 00:45:12 And what they found was that those who drank moderately were healthier than those who didn't drink at all. And it was this huge finding at the time. But what they didn't control for, and anyone studying psychology knows you need to control for your confess. sounding extraneous variables. They didn't control for the people who were in that sober group who had stopped drinking because they had a real problem
Starting point is 00:45:34 and it had begun to impact their health. Now, it's kind of hard these days to find someone who is completely sober. And one of the reasons that someone might be completely sober is because they can't drink. So all of those people who were included in the no drinking group, it wasn't like they'd never drunk before in their life. it was actually the opposite. They had a problem. And so they were basically pulling down the group average of non-drinkers compared to casual
Starting point is 00:46:02 drinkers so it looked like the casual drinkers were healthier. That is a classic example in psychology research of poor sampling methods, not controlling for your extraneous or confounding variables. And knowing that now, you know, there's been so many more studies coming out saying, actually, this is not good for your heart, this is not good for your liver, this causes cancer. there are entire countries that have changed their dietary recommendations when it comes to alcohol saying it is not safe for you to drink at all. It will increase your likelihood of dying. Maybe you only buy a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny bit, but still.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Actually, interestingly, as I'm recording this, it actually looks like the US will be the next country to make a recommendation that people shouldn't drink. Obviously, it's a very harsh recommendation, but they want to do what's safe. all of this sounds very very scary but something to note that i found really fascinating even the man who discovered the problem in those findings who said you know to everyone for years alcohol isn't safe we shouldn't tell people that he actually get this he still drinks and he is very open about the fact that he loves a couple glasses of wine and i think that is the important thing moderation is important and it reminds me of that quote which basically says like you know yes sun gives you cancer ice cream is bad for you spending your money ruins your savings
Starting point is 00:47:26 wine isn't the healthiest it ruins your liver but i'm going to do it anyway i want to have fun it's a good good philosophy to have but yes anything can kill you everything can be bad for you how terrible is that but actually it's not because life is actually about sometimes indulging and having fun and enjoying flavor and enjoying richness. And I think that if you don't have a serious problem with alcohol abuse, maybe, and definitely why not enjoy what you enjoy, enjoy the feeling, the sensation, the friendships that you might feel like you get from a glass of wine or a little apparel sprits every now and again. Okay, we're going to take a short break, but when we come back, I want to talk about how sobriety
Starting point is 00:48:13 impacted my social life, what it was like to go out sober, and just like some fast, rapid fire tips I have if you want to give it a go. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates.
Starting point is 00:48:52 the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs?
Starting point is 00:49:27 Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam Jett. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s.
Starting point is 00:49:50 To be clear, 84 was big to me, not just because of Congress. crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so you all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you finishing that sentence. I don't think there's a more important year for black people.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your Podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist,
Starting point is 00:50:28 Kear Games. And in recognition of mental health awareness month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing,
Starting point is 00:50:42 we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it. And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,
Starting point is 00:50:58 because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth, or are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Kear Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing,
Starting point is 00:51:14 growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free, our heart radio app, Search learn the hard way and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct?
Starting point is 00:51:44 I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, the lesbian, Michael Marantini. My mind was blown.
Starting point is 00:52:04 I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until Justice
Starting point is 00:52:23 is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think a big fear we have around trying dry Jen, dry July, whatever it is, going sober for a couple of months is social exclusion. Am I going to be included? Are people going to think that I'm like a wet blanket, that I'm not fun? Am I going to be left out?
Starting point is 00:52:48 Is it going to be less enjoyable to be the only sober one? that was definitely a fear that I had in like just doing 30 days of this especially like it's summer in Australia like everyone wants to do little arvo beverages so like it definitely felt like I was going to be missing out but something that I've really noticed is that my friends are very very accepting now if you have a friend group that is pressuring you to drink I don't think those people are your friends they're not your friends because if they only feel like they can enjoy your company
Starting point is 00:53:21 a glass or something, you know, a can of something in their hand, like, that's not authentic. Like, I don't know. I just feel like your relationships shouldn't be elevated by drinking. They should be just as good when you're sober as they are, when you're tipsy as they are when you're drunk. And I went out sober the other night. Like, it was a friend's birthday party, like a really good friend. And I went out and I was like, okay, I'm committing to this. I'm committing to this. I'm going to drive.
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'm going to drive me and my boyfriend. we're going to meet like 30 of our friends and I'm going to like just chill on the diet coax for a little while the first hour this is what I learned the first hour was the worst just get that out of the way first hour was the worst because everyone was kind of like getting into the vibe everyone was kind of having a few drinks like lightening up and it was very much like based around like let's go to the bar like this drink tastes good we're going to sit and sit so I was a bit like I just feel like I'm missing out you guys are all like getting more cheerful more cheerful and I'm just feeling like I'm left out here of my own of course with my own actions but then after the first hour was done it was so much fun it was so much fun because I was more fun because I was more present because I wasn't sleepy because I didn't just sit in a corner and just chat to one person I was more like aware of who I wanted to speak to what I wanted to get out of the night I was able to like I know this sounds weird, but actually have some foresight to like organize things, do things.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Like there was karaoke in the back of this bar. And I was like, okay, like, I'll take the initiative and I'll book this because everyone else has kind of like had a few drinks and is probably not thinking about whether that's possible. Also really, really fun was driving everyone home afterwards. Let me tell you this. I had more fun being the designated driver and getting to drop all of my drunk friends home than I have ever had in a club. and I know that is a huge statement, but it is a correct one. It is an accurate one. I could not tell you the last time I went clubbing and had a good time.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Like, it's just not something that I think I like to do. Obviously, when I was, I actually probably could tell you, like, when I was in my early 20s and, like, in my teen years, it was, like, a great time. It was part of, like, socializing at uni, but since I've kind of hit my mid-20s, like, it's just not my thing anymore. And I would always try and force myself to really enjoy it and get something out of it and make memories. That's the big reason why I would go was for the memories.
Starting point is 00:55:53 I made more fun memories driving my friends home and going to McDonald's. And they said the funniest stuff and it was like, I can remember the injokes. I can remember what they were saying, like the stories that were told. And then the next morning, I was up by 8 a.m. It was still a Sunday. I still had my sleep in. But I was up by 8 a.m. I was refreshed.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I felt amazing. I went for a 5K. run and I just thought wow like I would not have this energy if I had had four gin and tonics last night and I would have missed out on so much and I also didn't get tired so I was able to stay out longer which is a big problem I sometimes have when I drink and go out like I have two red wines and I'm like I want to go to bed but I really committed to it and it was a great time some tips I have for staying sober or trying out sobriety and I really would encourage you to just do 30 days.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Have like a non-alcoholic drink that you like. So kombucha, diet Coke, lemonade, non-alcoholic beer. A big fan of non-alcoholic beer. Not so much non-alcoholic red wine. That stuff is disgusting. Have your drink that you enjoy that you can bring to the party. You can order at the pub. You can order at the bar.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Like that really helps you feel like you're still integrated into the experience. Tell your friends that you are sober and like open up a discussion about it. so it's not like expected that you're going to be drinking and they can actually think through their own drinking choices and you can change plans based on your choice for the evening. See if someone wants to do it with you. Honestly, like one of my friends is doing it at the same time. It's like kind of fun to exchange stories and just kind of have a bigger goal attached to why you want to do it. So if you're just like, I want to go sober for 30 days but you don't know why, it's going to be a lot harder to achieve.
Starting point is 00:57:47 So mine was really like this is a personal challenge. I want to see if I'm capable. For other people, it's like they're training for a marathon. They're training for a big run. Maybe it's that you want to see your skin improve. Whatever it is, make sure that the reason you're doing this is really, really clear to you. And honestly, good luck. If you have done it before, please, or if you are someone who is currently sober and has been for a while,
Starting point is 00:58:11 what can we expect in a couple of years? What can we expect in like six months, two years, five years? Like I've heard that it gets better and it changes and that you feel even more energy and more attuned to yourself after a while. And also send over your best tips and I'll share them on Instagram. But I think that's all we have for today's episode. I know it's been a long one. So if you've made it this far, hello.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Comment a little wine emoji in the comments on Spotify. And I'll go through and see who's gotten here. But thank you so much for listening. Make sure that if you haven't already, you listen to Mantra. If you like the psychology of your 20s and you like the kind of positive calm environment we're creating here, you want some inspiration. Mantra is probably going to be exactly what you're looking for. So you can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts just by searching Mantra with Gemma Speg. Also, we are open to episode suggestions for this podcast at the moment.
Starting point is 00:59:09 If there is something about your 20s, you want me to explore the psychology behind, send it through. I would love to hear from you. Make sure you are following along. Make sure that you have left a five-star review, please, and thank you if you feel called to do so. And until next time, stay safe, stay kind, be gentle with yourself. And we will talk very, very soon. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available.
Starting point is 00:59:40 I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed I will be his last target. He is not going to get away
Starting point is 01:00:20 with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Look Back at it podcast.
Starting point is 01:00:41 From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84's big to me. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick you here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived this. with our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. Before it was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hard Way with your favorite therapist and host's
Starting point is 01:01:14 Kier Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having him with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor. It signals to the world that you're not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to, listen to learn the hard way on the IHard radio app, Apple Podcast,
Starting point is 01:01:38 or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHart podcast. Guaranteed human.

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