The Psychology of your 20s - 278. The psychology of tattoos

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

It's said that around 1/3 of society has tattoos - that increases to nearly half for people in their 20s. What is it about this permanent form of art that so many of us feel called to get? And what are the psychological underpinnings behind our design choices, why we may find ourselves wanting more and more tattoos, the relationship to childhood experiences and which tattoos we may come to regret... in today's episode, we break it all down including:  The 3 main psychological reasons people get tattoos  Tattoos as a form of permanence and belonging  Why we see similar designs or 'trending' tattoos  Tattoos and why we love the pain  Which tattoos we regret  How to make smart tattoo decisions + so much more  Listen now and drop your tattoo regrets below!    PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [e-mail]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. On the Look Back at it podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down,

and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's good, y'all?

You're listening to Learn the Hardway with your favorite therapist and host Kear Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor it? It signals to the world that you not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to. Listen and learn the hard way on the AHA radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.

You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Ellen's, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through. the same thing. Greg, a lesbian, Michael Ranjini. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. I'm on my podcast, 2%. I break down the signs of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%.

That's TWA percent on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed. I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe.

On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Before we get started, this episode of the podcast does contain references and discussions of child abuse. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please reflect on whether you are ready to listen to this episode. If you don't feel ready, it will still be here in a week, a month, a year, whenever it's a better time to listen. Take care of yourselves and I'm sending you love and healing. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so lovely, so great to have you. you hear back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s.

This week when I sat down at my desk and I was deciding what to talk about this week, what did I want to discuss? I made the decision to do something a little bit fun, a little bit different. I wanted to do an episode that you might not think has anything to do with psychology. You know, I feel like we've done quite a few serious, emotional, very in-depth, somewhat scientific episodes as of late and I wanted to kind of do something a bit more fun one topic that kept floating to the surface for me was tattoos why do we get them not just in our 20s but at any stage how important are they to our identity which tattoos do we end up regretting which ones do we not end up regretting basically I want to talk about the psychology of tattoos and that my friends

is what we are going to do today I have been endless fascinated by this topic for some time as someone with tattoos, I have never actually considered why I got them. Why was I called to literally get something permanently put on my body when I had just turned 18? Why did I decide on specific designs? Why did I decide on what to get? What was the motivation? And in thinking about my own intentions with my tattoos, I uncovered so much research that I did not even know was out there. I also talked to some of my friends. I'm so lucky to have some incredible friends in my life who are tattoo artists

and who make a living off of permanent art on somebody else's body. Like there is no other type of art like it. And I spoke to them and I was like, can you tell me what you hear from people who are getting tattoos? Are you seeing a specific kind of person get a specific kind of tattoo? to do people ever come back and say they regret it? Like, tell me about the emotional experience you have with a client when you are putting something on their body.

And it has just been so fascinating talking to people about what kind of feels like quite an innocuous subject. I also found this interesting piece of research saying that the majority of people who have tattoos got their first one in their 20s. Now, you may hear that and think. that Gemma that makes sense right depending on where you live most people can't get tattoos before they turn 18 and even then you probably don't have the money to get the tattoos that you want until you're in your 20s so it feels like the time a lot of people are doing it but it also comes down

to the fact that this decade is when we are in peak identity formation season we've had our teen years to really explore but it's our 20s where we are really trying to find the shoe or the outfit or the persona that fits. We are trying to find our space. We are really starting to feel grounded in who we are. We're kind of exploring different facets of our identity. And sometimes that calls for expression. It calls for something permanent to represent who we are and what we're going through.

That is where tattoos come in. And I think of tattoos kind of as like a testimony to the age you are when you get them. and maybe in 10, 20 years time, you'll look at it and think, what was I thinking? Like, what does this even mean? But maybe it's also, you know, an important right of passage to some people. It brings a sense of certainty. All right, I don't want to spoil the entire episode before we even get into it. But really what we are going to do today is just take a big bite into all the fascinating research to do with body modification,

tattooing, even things like regret, as well as do a brief kind of dive into some of the history as well because this topic has so many dimensions to it. Without further ado, my lovely listeners, let us get into the psychology of tattoos. Let's talk briefly about the history of tattoos because I feel like the change in attitudes that we've experienced just in the last 50 years is really quite striking and worth investigating. Now, I always get in trouble when I talk about history on this podcast because there are some very smart people out there who know a lot more about very specific topics than me

and very graciously correct me when I'm wrong. But I really did a deep dive into this one. I used what I think is like the mother of all guides, the Smithsonian's worldwide history of tattoos, to really go in deep. So I hope that you are all prepared for a bit of a factual start to this episode. Some people will incorrectly assume or tell you that tattoos first emerged in the 1800s. That cannot be further from the truth.

Humans have been marking their skin in ritualistic and important ways for literally thousands of years. Around the world, across different cultures, tattoos are. are really, really significant. I think about, you know, the Greeks, they used to use tattoos to declare love. Indigenous Polynesians used to use tattoos to tell personal stories. We see them in ancient Serbian nomads in Native South Americans. Tattoos have this real core place in the human story, how we express ourselves, how we signify status, religious, beliefs even as just purely a form of decoration. So I think what people generally used to believe is

that it was the Egyptians who were like these so-called inventors of inking skin and they used to use different kinds of pigments or ground up insects and they would insert the, you know, wet pigment into the skin using a piece of bronze or like a sharp stick. There's also evidence of a very famous mummy. It's called Otsey the Iceman. If you're a history buff you'll know this mummy quite well. That individual is almost 6,000 years old and when they found

this mummified person, he had tattoos 6,000 years ago. People were already adorning their skin. Now that is really the beginning of tattoos as we know it. Let's now go forward about 5,700 years, 300 years ago. During this time, specifically in Western cultures, something changed when it came to our attitudes towards tattoos. They used to be very culturally, maybe religiously significant.

And then they started being considered a sign of being a criminal or a deviant. They're associated with gangs, with behaviors that society doesn't approve of. And as such, they're banned in some spaces. Actually, I remember visiting Japan last year and not being able to enter the onsense or the hot baths because I had tattoos. So it's still relevant in some cultures. But we can link a lot of this stigma back to a specific group of Christian missionaries who did a really great job at convincing people back then that tattoos would disfigure the sacred. vessel given to us by God. And consequently, they were banned.

They were banned in Christianity. And as Christianity became more widespread, that same belief was impressed upon different cultures, some of whom did have a historical, I don't know, a historical attachment to tattooing. Of course, we know that did not stop people from doing it, but it did bring about. a stigma that if you got tattoos, you were obviously not a god-fearing individual. And therefore, you were probably up to no good. This is how they really became associated with being, you know, a bit of a rebel.

And they became associated with criminality and counterculture. But around like the 1940s, specifically in America, there was a revival of tattooing in Western cultures. And slowly more and more people knew someone with a tattoo. They knew a relative. They knew someone in the army. Then, you know, they kind of thought about getting one of their own. They have kids with tattoos. So nowadays, there's some estimates that between 30 to 48% of people in the countries

surveyed for countries like Canada, America, Germany and Australia, those were the countries included in these studies. 30 to 48% of people in those countries have tattoos. Now, if you're in your 20s, the likelihood that you have a tattoo is increased. It's around 38 to 52%. So that's showing that, like, over time, generationally, we have become a lot more accepting and we're a lot more normal about this idea. I remember before I got my first tattoo, I was like, still had this, like, fear of not being

able to find a job specifically, like, if it was visible. but nowadays, like the stigma has definitely lessened. So there's your little history lesson for the day. I know this is a psychology podcast. I will not dwell on it for long. But I do think it's important to cover because that attitudinal change does play into the psychology behind why we may be drawn to get a tattoo. All right, let's talk about that question now.

Why? Why do we feel compelled to put something permanent on our eyes? skin. So when it comes down to it when you're sitting in that tattoo chair, when you're waiting for the needle to go in, you are probably in that position because of one of four reasons. The first is that you're looking to represent something of personal emotional significance on your body. This is a way of telling your personal story and your personal beliefs and maybe reaffirming to yourself what you care about, what's important to you. Is it family? Is it religion? Is it a specific value system? One of the largest studies ever done on the psychology of tattoos was conducted

in South Africa with university students between 19 and 35. Now, some of them had tattoos, some of them were considering it. Some of them were just like absolutely not at all. And the researchers said explain your reasoning and then they thematically grouped the responses. Now, amongst people who had a tattoo or wanted a tattoo, 25% of them said, the reason I would want to do it is because this thing has a personal meaning. It marks a significant experience or struggle for me. So some of the reasons given were I got a tattoo to honor my mother, to honor my siblings because it represents my life philosophy because this really presents what I was going through it at a certain time in my life and I want to remember it. This idea is one I actually really

want to grab onto for a second and it's the idea that tattoos can bring about a sense of permanence. They can really anchor us to a specific time and our identity and our feelings and what we were going through in that moment. It's kind of like if I put this on my body, this experience will always be part of me. I won't forget. I won't forget that loved one. I won't forget how capable I was and how courageous I was to get through an experience. I'll never forget that this is how I see life. This is how I choose to live it. So if our body is just a vessel for our soul, you know, why not decorate? it in the in the manner of what is important to you i find this reason this reasoning almost using your body like a journal in some ways quite compelling i have tattoos from specific periods in my life

and when i think about them i can exactly remember what i was going through that made me believe that this thing was important to get one in particular and i have admitted this to this to very, very few people is a breakup tattoo. I went through this like breakup when I was 18 and it was really awful. And I don't know, it was just, it was shrouded in a lot of, I don't know, it was complex. I'll just say it was complex. And being my first like big heartbreak, it taught me a lot. And I remember having this resounding sense of like independence.

like no matter what you need to be independent you need to be able to rely on yourself you cannot get attached to any one person and so i got this like tattoo that represented that and now i have a more balanced perspective but when i look at that tattoo in the mirror sometimes i can exactly remember where i was when i got it and i don't just mean physically where i was but emotionally and mentally as well same for like my 22 tattoo you know I turned 22 on the 22nd of the second 2002 that felt very significant to me it felt very aligned it felt like it was something that needed to be held on to and you know actually quite frankly like my 22nd year was an amazing year of my life like I quit my job I met my boyfriend I finally felt happy in the city I was in

I had all these opportunities, but, you know, I do still sometimes look at it and be like, why did you have to get that? Why, why did you have to get that because you're not 22 anymore? But I think we'll talk about regret a little bit later. The biggest reason for me in that moment was the emotional significance of where I was. And for other people, that's really important as well. It really comes down to self-identity and our desire to hold onto the feelings and encounters that have shaped us, perhaps even using our body as like a way to communicate who we are and what we've experienced. I think about Harry Potter tattoos as a perfect example of this or any kind of fandom or religious tattoo. These are called group identification tattoos. You know,

you put something on your body so that if someone else saw it, they would know maybe implicitly what kind of person you are or if they were someone who was interested in the same things they could be like oh friend you know i know who you are we have this thing in common even though we've never met it's like this form of communication or recognition belonging it's a form of belonging it's a form of belonging obviously that can also take a terrible term if people are using hate symbols as a way to identify a group to which they belong. Like that's this, that's this philosophy taken to a very negative, dark extreme. But it is still part of some people's motivations for getting tattoos.

The final value-based reason for getting a tattoo can be for cultural reasons. As we've already explained, there are so many cultures with an amazing history of tattooing. I think about our New Zealand and Maori neighbors here in Australia who get, I'm going to try and pronounce this right, Samoko, which is traditional Maori tattoos that really symbolize cultural pride, history, story. They can mark like a significant occasion, like a marriage or a graduation. Side note, I need you to look up how people get these tattoos because when I first saw that process, I genuinely was like, wow, These are the toughest people on the planet. But yes, that is a really big part of what calls people to have something permanent on their skin. Let's talk about the second reason we get tattoos,

and that is because it's just an appealing form of art. It's an extension of our identity through decoration. Now, the first reason was very deep. It's very identity-based. This one is less deep. Tattoos are pretty. We are just a canvas. our body is made to be adorned. Simple as that. Your tattoos don't need a specific meaning.

In a recent episode, actually, a guest was telling me about a friend of hers who gets random tattoos whenever she feels like it. You know, she's, I think, in her 50s and she'll go into a tattoo parlor on a Saturday and just say, go for it, decorate me. You know, if she sees a cool cartoon, a word she loves, an image, a pattern, she just does it. I think that it. I think that, is a beautiful way to think about our body and to think about, you know, it's permanence or lack of permanence in this world. Something I do always struggle with when it comes to this though, or I debate with myself when it comes to, should I get a specific tattoo? Should I get a specific design is, do I just think this is cute because it's a trending design? Is this just the same as a viral

sweater or a viral lip balm, but it is going to be on my body forever. That's something I consider a lot. If tattoos are self-expression, why is it that a lot of us end up getting similar tattoos? Like some examples I can think of the love heart tattoos. Everyone was getting on their fingers, like back in like 2015, 2016, Infinity tattoos. Now it's like micro tattoos. boy tattoos, which I think are really, really cute. That lion tattoo that everyone used to get on their finger. None of these are inherently bad tattoos, but it's interesting that a lot of us

got them at the same time. And I think what it reflects is like a shared aesthetic appreciation, shared cultural trends, community identity, of course. And you know, the internet is obviously, some parts of the internet are a community. So we all kind of feel excited by the the same things. We end up finding beauty in the same things. I think just like art in general has different seasons and movements like abstract art, the Renaissance, contemporary art, tattoos go through these kind of seasons as well and it means that a lot of people will jump on the bandwagon. Now, I don't think this is a bad thing quite honestly. Like I think just because you find something beautiful and someone else also finds that beautiful, does it mean that?

mean you are not unique. I actually think that when I see someone with these tattoos, I'm like, wow, you are kind of a tapestry for the culture and age that we're living in. You know, this is, you're a part of history. Like, this is actually quite cool that you have this thing on your body that I know this is quite morbid, but say someone was to dig you up in 3,000 years like that mummy we talked about and they found like a tattoo of a heart on your finger. they could say, oh, wow, that must have been important at the time.

That must have been something that was aesthetic to people at the time. And I find that very, very interesting. Okay, we are going to take a quick break because I'm fully about to shift gears here. But when I return, let's talk about the role of tattooing in coping, healing from trauma, and whether this practice can actually become addictive. All of that and so much more. after this short break. 2%.

That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience

in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness

industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at It Podcast. I'm Sam Jay. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a here,

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I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hardway with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests.

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on my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way. Open your free, Our Heart Radio app. Search Learn the Hardway. hard way and listen now. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth.

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Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games,

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A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target.

He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. few years ago, I came across an article by someone calling themselves an ink nurse, and they talked about this idea of ink or tattoo therapy. Essentially, her take was that everything we feel emotionally and mentally cannot disappear through the mind alone. It also needs to be processed by the body. Now, for some people, emotions are processed through tears and grief, maybe.

rage, exercise, making art. For others, the way they process trauma, psychological pain, heartache, anything that the human soul has kind of gone through is through tattoos. Why is this the case? Well, firstly, I think it's because tattoos give us a sense of control we may be lacking in our ordinary life. In this way, you know, you have this immense power to do to your body what you wish to do with it and it can really help you reclaim your identity by making it your own through an outward depiction of what matters to you or what you find interesting or what you find beautiful. You're saying, I have complete ownership over my body. So this is what I'm going to do with it. I want to talk about one piece of research that really speaking.

to this reclaiming and this powerful healing of tattoos in particular, this piece of research actually looked at the association between childhood abuse and neglect without likelihood of getting tattoos and piercings. It was conducted in Germany with over a thousand participants, and they did find tattoos and piercings more common amongst individuals who reported childhood abuse and neglect. So they're linking this very deep emotional suffering with a way of adorning and treating our bodies.

Now what they also concluded is that body modification in the sense was actually a very empowering experience for these people because although they had suffered this great adversity, they were now taking back the control. And there was also this weird sense relating to pain and letting that pain be self-inflicted was actually quite empowering compared to times when pain had been used against them. It's deeply psychological. And to me, this explanation makes a lot of sense. And these findings have been corroborated. In another

piece of research that was published, just a little bit later on, these researchers talk about how our desire to get specific tattoos or even to get tattoos at all actually gives us a real peak, a real vision into someone's psyche. What they choose to get on their body is actually a really, I don't know, I don't want to say interesting again, but it's a very secretive, almost in-depth way of understanding what they've been through and how they see the world. So this paper, this was published in 2017, it actually talks about how therapists can prompt an open discussion with someone using their tattoos, asking them about their tattoos, asking them about their meaning, their motivations for getting them as a way to kind of have a breakthrough with a client.

basically if someone has a specific piece of art it's obviously important enough for them to have put it on their body so there must have been some motivation that has caused them to think that this is a good idea and that this is what they want what is that motivation linked to what can that tell you about who they are as a person not only that not only is it linked to control not only is it linked to personality tattoos have also been shown to change how we think about our bodies. Having that control and being able to make ourselves into a form of art is so mentally powerful if you are someone who struggles with things like body dysmorphia or just general unhappiness towards your appearance. There have been some studies including a specific one I'm thinking about from 2011 that showed that right after getting a tattoo,

individuals reportedly feel better about their bodies they experience less appearance-based anxiety and they also express less fear of being perceived in that kind of way tattoos are like a psychological armor and for that reason they also influence our emotional state so our emotional state influences whether we get them and then once we do get them that has a further impact it's like a cycle that is why tattoos can become addictive because the process of getting them makes us feel some sort of way. Anything that changes our mood such that we associate an activity with immediately feeling better has the capacity to become addictive. You know, alcohol, for example, makes us feel less anxious and more lively, that emotional association makes it addictive. Enphetamines give us that huge rush, make us feel joyous.

Gambling makes us feel fulfilled by possibility. Tattoos bring us a sense of control. And according to that same study, they also make us feel better about how we look. They make us feel more at peace with our past. And they can make our lives feel more purposeful and significant. That is a very addictive feeling. I think a lot of us would do a lot of things to feel. happy in who we are, to feel at peace with our past, to feel meaningful in our life. That's pretty

addictive. Therefore, getting tattoos is also addictive. It's a common experience I've heard from tattoo artists that they will get a client who has never had a tattoo before. They will give them their first tattoo and then a month later, this person will come back and have like dozens. Because the process for them is so emotionally satisfying. Some of that comes down, to our experiences with pain. Yes, we mostly want to avoid it. That's how we're hardwired. But there are some people who actually find it quite pleasurable and quite, it brings

about quite a sense of relief. Some people find catharsis in the process of getting a tattoo. You know, there's like this painful experience that then provides a really amazing result. it lets out pain that they may be feeling internally. All of this actually creates a lot of enjoyment that we associate with the process. We can also get quote unquote addicted to tattooing because of the role of two chemicals in our body, adrenaline and endorphins. Endorphins I'm just using as a general way of saying pleasant chemical messages.

So the anticipation of and the pain that we experience from tattooing, that can lead to an adrenaline rush. This will naturally create a feeling of almost euphoria. Now, the adrenaline that is released in response to pain is meant to lessen the painful experience. But it actually means that we begin to associate the act of getting tattooed with, you know, a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings. Given, you know, the level of anticipation with any,

first experience, that adrenaline rush is going to be heightened. So the first time you get a tattoo, you are going to experience the largest adrenaline rush from the specific activity that you will ever experience. But people will continue to seek that rush. And that is why we can perhaps explain people who come back and come back and come back. It looks like an addiction, but it's more them chasing a specific feeling. Now, after getting a tattoo, our body will also naturally release endorphins to soothe our pain, to target inflammation. That also feels amazing.

Some of the endorphins that we'll be experiencing are natural opioids, natural pain relievers that we know are extremely addictive. So that combination of the rush of adrenaline and then the emotional and physical comfort of endorphins may encourage us to keep going back. Now, this can be a dangerous process. And something that always comes up in discussions about tattoos is regret. If you're getting tattoo after tattoo after tattoo, are you making the best decisions?

Are you being wise about what you want on your body permanently? Now, this is always going to come into this discussion. And you'll frequently hear it from like older generations or people who feel uncertain about tattoos. They'll ask you, like, are you sure you want this on your body forever? Like, you know that this is forever, right? Are you sure that 30 year old you or 50 year old you or 80 year old you is that version of yourself going to love it as much as you do now? Like, how do you know this is a smart decision? I'm going to answer that question for you right here right now. You don't. You don't. And there is potential regret in absolutely everything.

So chances are you might look at that tattoo at some point and say, that wasn't the best decision. But I don't think we need to fear, regret all that much. I don't think it's actually the worst thing that you can ever experience. I even think about the tattoos that I don't like now. I still enjoy them for what they meant to me back then. They're kind of like scars in a way. You know, they make a good story.

They tell something about my experience. and they bring me a very strange but very valued connection with my past self. Like I can tap into exactly what she was thinking at that time, which I find quite special. And, you know, tattoos are going to change as you get older. They aren't going to look the same. They're going to be shaped by age. And that is something that you should be remembering. But also these days, like, they're not permanent.

I saw that image of Pete Davidson recently. when I was in LA like I saw the billboard that he did for a reformation like all of his tattoos gone like it's possible it's expensive but it's possible probably not what you should be considering though like if you're getting a tattoo and you're thinking oh whatever I can remove it someday not the mindset you should go in with because it is still a painful process and it still will leave a mark and like this is you should be thinking of it as permanent. If you want to get like a semi-permanent tattoo like go and get those ones that you can like put on with a wet cloth. Like if you're going and thinking I can get this removed one day, you know the easiest way for that to happen is to

just not get it right now. So I want to briefly talk about some tips for making the right decision about a tattoo because it's important. You know if you want to get one I think that's amazing. I really like mine. I find them like very decorative, very fun, good conversation starters, but you want to make smart decisions. Like, you don't want your first tattoo to be like an all-out, like, snake down your entire body. Or maybe you do, but this is what you should be thinking about. The most common reasons people regret their tattoos, according to a recent piece of research, is that it was impulsive. So around 35% of people say, I regret it because it was impulsive. it didn't have a significant meaning or they thought it would make them look cool and it doesn't.

What we do find is the more thoughtful and careful you are about a tattoo, the less likely you are to regret it. So if you are thinking about getting something on your skin, before you do, print off that tattoo, the tattoo design that you have, put it somewhere that you'd see it every single day to make. make sure you don't get sick of it. And I think it's like recommended to do this for like three to six months. You know, if this is a tattoo you genuinely want and then you're going to love, you're still going to want it in six months. You're still going to want it in a year. And this is a great

insurance for you to say, okay, if I had to look at this every single day, would I still want it? Secondly, when you start, start small, start with somewhere not visible. Also just important to see how your body reacts to it, whether like you actually like the process and you're not halfway through a tattoo in so much pain, regretting it and it's somewhere really, really visible. I think that's just wise. Don't get tattoos when you're drunk. Oh my lord.

I have friends who have done this. not only did they end up looking really bad because their blood was really thin so it leaked but it really comes down to the impulsive nature of this this might be a controversial one and it might sound hypocritical considering i got like my first tattoo when i was 18 but if i had to go back i would say don't get a tattoo before you turn 20 please like i don't know why that feels like a good distinction, but the longer you can wait, the better. I think getting a tattoo young, and I still think like 18, 19, 20 is quite young. I'm not saying it's going to increase your chances of regretting it. I'm just saying that getting a tattoo a little bit older might

reduce your chances of regretting it. And finally, be safe. And if it costs more, that's not a bad thing. This is like a permanent accessory for you. Think about how much you would spend on a really nice pair of jeans, really nice pair of shoes on a handbag. Like this, think about cost per wear here. You're going to be wearing this every single day of your life. So it is an investment. Go to a good tattoo artist. I have seen so many terrible tattoos in my day and on Reddit and on Pinterest and on Instagram. You don't want to be that just because you want the tattoo really badly right now. You will still want it in three months when you have a little bit more money. Trust me, it really makes all the difference. I am so lucky that one of my best

friends is a tattoo artist and I trust her more than anyone and you can really tell the difference between someone who is really passionate about their craft and does everything right and someone who is doing tattoos for $5 at like somewhere on a strip mall. So those would be my most significant important tips. Also maybe some advice to younger Gemma, to baby Gemma around what she should have done differently. You know what though? I want to finish out this episode by saying it is your body.

It is your body to have regrets about. It is your body to modify. It is your body to modify. It is your body to express and to demonstrate with and to decorate. So yes, make smart decisions, but don't consider disappointing people as part of it. Don't consider what other people are going to think too much so in this consideration of getting a tattoo. If it's something that's important to you, if it's something that you think will ground you, if it's something that you think will help with healing and will, you know, perhaps psychologically shift to how you

see yourself, that is always going to be worth it in my mind. And if you just like it and you want a tattoo, do it. Like, you're young. If you're worried about other people's opinions, get it someone no one can see, make it quite an intimate part of you. I actually think it's quite a beautiful ride of passage. It's something that was on my bucket list when I'm a kid. I'm glad that I've done it. And for all the thoughts about it, again, it just comes down to personal preference. and what's going to make you feel good and what's going to make you feel happy in the form and the vessel that you're in.

So I hope you enjoy this episode. Now, the people who make it this far know that they will always get a little emoji. So for your emoji, choose the emoji that you would most want tattooed on your body. Let's confuse the people who don't listen to the end, but then pretend they do because they see the emoji. What are you most likely to want to get from the little emoji list?

And if you have a tattoo, let me know. Do you regret any of your tattoos and why? Let's kind of share the word, share the knowledge, so someone else might not make the same mistake. I've already told you mine. I regret two of mine, my 22 and my one post breakup. But I still love them. So I hope you still love yours as well.

But please share below. make sure that you are following and you leave a five-star review. Also, if you have further questions, stories, I don't know, comments about this episode. You can always message me at that psychology podcast on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you. Until next time though, stay safe. Please be kind. Be gentle to yourself.

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