The Psychology of your 20s - 326. The psychology of nicotine
Episode Date: August 29, 2025Nicotine is everywhere - but not in the way we once knew it. It’s not just in cigarettes anymore. It’s in sleek vapes, tiny pouches, lozenges, gum, even diffusers marketed as 'wellness'. A...nd somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like a vice and started looking... aesthetic. Clean. Even, normal.In today’s episode, we unpack the ever-present boom of nicotine and what it reveals about our generation’s relationship with coping, craving, and control. Because this isn’t just about addiction - it’s about soothing anxiety, chasing focus, managing overstimulation, and the ways we self-medicate under pressure. We explore: Nicotine as a stimulant and a coping mechanism Levels of conformity and links to the ‘in-group’ How nicotine got rebranded for a new generation The role of dissonance in maintaining the cycle How to break the bad habit loop Whether you’ve used nicotine yourself or just want to understand why it’s seems like everyone has a vape – this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean.
for our psychology.
Hello everybody.
Welcome back to the show.
Welcome back to the podcast.
New listeners, old listeners,
wherever you are in the world,
it is so great to have you here back for another episode
as we break down the psychology of your 20s.
Today, we are diving into a topic.
I think that hits close to home for so many of us,
even if we don't always want to openly admit it
or acknowledge it.
honestly my inbox has been just like buzzing with requests for this episode. I think I get this
at least five times a week. We are talking about the psychology of nicotine. And I definitely saw
a rise in requests for this episode after we did our 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s
episode. And we talked about smoking. And I had a lot of messages from people being like,
how come you've never done an episode on this? Well, guess what? There was one right around the corner.
This is that episode. So nicotine is one of the world's favorite drugs. And it is in fact a drug.
It is highly addictive. It is highly prevalent. Its usage is very prevalent. And the stuff it's packaged in makes it incredibly terrible for you.
we know that vapes, that cigarettes, that nicotine pouches, they are not good for you,
no matter how well the marketing might try and make them same.
So why are so many of us, despite all of this knowledge, all the education we have now,
still getting hooked?
Well, I think there's quite a few interlinked reasons.
Obviously, the use of nicotine is absolutely not a new phenomenon.
it has been used for so many years.
It's also sometimes had medicinal purposes,
and it's often synonymous with socializing,
with stress relief, with status.
I think particularly with vapes,
even more so than cigarettes these days.
They're super accessible, even at times affordable.
You know, some stores do like multi-buy deals on them.
They look enticing.
There's this whole allure around smoking and nicotine,
and they have colorful packages.
and fruity flavors and, you know, it's not discreet. And these items, cigarettes, vapes,
they become, like, deeply ingrained in social scenes. So that even if you've had all of this
education, it still kind of seems like, well, if everyone else is doing it, well, then why don't I?
It's like, oh, we're all hitched to the same wagon. We're all in the same boat. As long as
they're going to face the same health consequences as me, well, I may as well be part of the
in group or may as well be enjoying it. Also, nicotine just feels amazing. It just feels, it feels good.
And so sometimes when you're in the moment and you're enjoying the cigarette or you're enjoying
the hit, it's hard to think further down the line to when the other side of the coin flips over and
when the other side of this habit comes and kind of bites you in the butt. It's something that I think
we're like in the current moment we're not too great at acknowledging and also because of
the fact that nicotine and smoking and vaping has had like a revival in recent years you know the
snowball effect of more and more people doing it is making it more and more enticing it might be
not very surprising for you guys to hear but for the first time in decades we are seeing nicotine
use rates shift significantly in younger populations um
especially in Western countries for many, many years, the use of nicotine products was declining,
and then suddenly there has been this massive increase.
There have been studies in the UK, in the US that show e-cigarette usage,
and nicotine uses is at the highest it has ever been, maybe, amongst 18 to 24-year-olds.
So this isn't just a blip, this is something that I think we really need to investigate,
but also not from a point of shame.
not from a point of like, how dare you do this? How dare you poison your body? Like, you should know better.
I don't think that's a healthier approach. Of course, we know better for a lot of things and we still do
them and we still do them with things that are a lot less addictive than nicotine. Nicotine is such,
like, it is truly like a miracle substance for our brain and it does such crazy, wild things to our
neurochemistry, of course people are getting hooked. And of course there is a whole,
there is a whole level of addiction around it that needs to be discussed. So we're going to
approach this episode from a perspective of just like understanding, psychoeducation,
knowledge, fun facts, interesting studies, so that you can kind of, yeah, just learn some more
and see how you might be able to get out of a nicotine addiction, how you might be able to help a friend,
how you might be able to quit vaping once and for all, quit cigarettes, whatever your intention
with this episode is, there is something for you.
Without further ado, I'm very excited for this episode.
I hope you learn a lot.
I hope you're as intrigued as I am.
Let's get into it.
All right, so let's cut to the chase.
How does nicotine actually work its magic?
Or maybe we should say it's mischief on your brain.
Nicotine is a tiny, tiny molecule, but it's.
It's incredibly powerful because it knows how to play perfectly with your brain's natural chemistry.
And it's able to unlock all these different things in our brain that feel amazing.
Nicotine is actually a naturally occurring substance.
It is a nitrogen-containing alkaloid that is found in a tobacco plant at very high levels,
but also in small doses and things like tomatoes, in potatoes, in eggplants, which you may.
may not know, but it's main, the main place that we extract it is from tobacco plants in the levels
at which you're going to feel something in your body. So when it enters your body, it is quickly
absorbed into your bloodstream and it zips straight through your brain. It is absorbed especially
fast if you are smoking it because it's already in a form that your body doesn't need to metabolize.
And once it's in your brain, which happens sometimes within,
like literally nanoseconds, it activates your nicotinic receptors.
Here's another fun fact.
Even if you don't smoke, even if you have never touched a nicotine product in your life,
you still have these receptors.
Every single one of us has these receptors.
So when nicotine, the product, the substance, the chemical binds to these receptors,
it triggers the release of a whole cocktail of neurochemicals.
you probably already know dopamine serotonin.
We'll get into those in a second.
But the main one is a neurotransminor called acetacoline,
which is essential for voluntary muscle movements,
but also for focus,
which is why when you smoke,
vape, whatever it is,
you may immediately feel more alert,
more in tune with your surroundings,
and more concentrated on whatever is in front of you.
It's why a lot of people in their 20s
often get hooked to Nicky
as a focus substance when they're studying or working.
It's why a lot of people who work nights or are chefs or work those really intense, like, long-haul
jobs also get addicted to this product because it does wonders for your brain.
There's no denying that.
The other star of the show is, of course, dopamine.
Acidicoline is where I guess we notice the main influence on our.
our attention and on our focus and on our mood, dopamine is what really hooks you. So when dopamine
floods your brain's reward pathway, specifically the mesolimbic pathway, often called the brain's
pleasure circuit, it creates feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, even euphoria. And it's the same
pathway that is activated by food, by sex, by drugs. So that hit you get from nicotine,
when as soon as that enters your body and your brain begins to associate it with it with pleasurable feelings,
it's just going to keep screaming, we want more of that.
We want more good stuff.
We want to feel better, feel more pleasure, more.
Nicotine also influences norapinephrine, which again makes you feel more awake, more alert, more focused,
and also glutamate, which after like the initial statured,
stimulant effect will then have that counterbalance of GABA, which is going to bring you a sense of
relaxation and reduced anxiety. All of this is happening happening very, very quickly. And the more
you begin to associate the puff of a vape or the puff of a cigarette with that feeling,
the more the biological mechanism of addiction begins to really take a hold. This is the
biological trap of substances like nicotine. With repeated nicotine exposure, those brain receptors
that we mentioned before, they also become desensitized. So after the initial, perhaps weeks or months,
maybe even years of getting that same feeling of pleasure, depending on how often you're using it,
they are going to stop responding as strongly to nicotine over time. And so to compensate,
your brain actually creates more of these receptors.
This is a process known as upregulation,
and it means that your brain now needs more nicotine
to just feel normal or to achieve the same effects as you previously did.
This is why I think it's so important that we understand
the neurochemistry and the biology of addiction,
because there is some wild stuff happening in our brain
that we tend to ignore,
and we put it all down to our discipline or to our morals or to our, I don't know, our sense of like agency
when we're actually fighting an uphill battle against our brain's natural desire to experience more pleasure
and to experience more dopamine.
And here is a highly potent substance that does that for us.
So then when nicotine levels drop, maybe it's been a couple hours since your last nicotine gum, whatever it is, those extra desensitized receptors, they are no longer being stimulated.
And this imbalance is what creates really uncomfortable, physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms.
So irritability, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, you get restlessness, like you get these cravings, even like sometimes,
physical aches. And these symptoms are actually really unpleasant. And we know through this repeated
learning process that the quickest way to alleviate them is just to go back to the product. It's just
to introduce more nicotine. This desperate and in fact sometimes unacknowledged kind of behavioral
loop really fuels our physical dependence and creates the compulsion and creates
the addiction. So, you know, again, as amazingly adaptive as your brain is, your brain also
actively adapts to a substance that is actually not that bad for you. Nicotine is not bad for you.
It's what it comes in. And so you need more and more of it, which means that you ingest more and
more of these terrible chemicals, terrible other substances that just like wear and tear your body,
like not much else can do.
Another part of this physical and psychological dependency or addiction is also stress.
Stress plays a huge role because nicotine is a special kind of drug in that it is both
a stimulant, meaning that it makes you happy and energetic but also a depressant,
meaning that it calms down your nervous system.
I'm sure you guys will have seen the trope on TV and in cinema of like the stressed out
overworked character, lighting up a cigarette with a glass of wine at the end of the long day.
I think it's pretty fair to say that we as a generation in this decade, those of us in our
20s, are a stressed out generation. We are very stressed. It's a time of so much change, so much
upheaval, especially for like, again, for our generation who was dealing with a whole litany of
things that previous generations didn't have to deal with. So it might be, you know, not that
surprising that a lot of us actually go to nicotine as a perceived tool for emotional regulation.
A 2019 study published in the journal Addiction Biology demonstrated this by looking at how
stress messes with the brains of smokers and the results of this study were pretty illuminating
and mind-blowing. Researchers gave some smokers in the study stress hormones to mimic a real-life
stress response, then they asked them to go into an MRI scanner and to do a memory task.
Normally, the part of the brain that helps with self-control, your prefrontal cortex, would light
up to help you stay focused doing a task like this. But under stress, activity here was massively
reduced. Then came the really interesting part. The smokers had to choose between completing the task
for money or puffs of a cigarette, not even an entire cigarette. Those who were taking the stress hormones,
they went for the cigarettes way more, even though they didn't report feeling more cravings.
So basically stress didn't just make them want to smoke. It quietly kind of shut down the brain's
ability to choose anything else, even like a cash reward. You're feeling stress. You're feeling stress.
that is the first place your brain is going to go.
And since reducing stress takes a priority in our mind,
of course, that is the habit that you're going to continue to choose,
even when it's sometimes at the expense of doing something that's perhaps more productive.
This can also, you know, crucially lead to a false sense of control over our stress
and not just over our stress, but, you know, if you're going through a breakup over your sadness,
if you're going through like a real identity change or identity shift,
your sense of existential dread or your sense of just like general life stress.
Nicotine often feels like it helps with these feelings.
It gives you a real moment of calm.
It gives you a moment of focus, sometimes of peace in these situations.
We can't deny that.
But does it actually help with the stress in the long term?
This short answer is no.
It really doesn't.
The immediate relief that you.
may feel when you smoke or vape, it isn't genuine stress reduction. More often that relief
comes from two things. The fact is, is that you're actually putting your body under more stress
because you are addicted to a substance and constantly going through like a miniature version of
withdrawal from that substance unless you are constantly using it. And it could also be that
it's not the nicotine that's helping you, it's the fact that you're taking a moment out of your day,
or it's the fact that you have a sense of ritual that's reducing your stress.
It's not actually the nicotine entirely.
In reality, chronic nicotine use is actually associated with increased anxiety and stress over time.
The study published back in 2001, so a little while ago, but still relevant,
it actually found that teenagers who regularly smoke were sick and
significantly more likely to report higher stress levels compared to those who had quit smoking.
This is because the nicotine disrupts the brain's natural stress regulation systems,
making you more prone to anxiety when you're not using it.
The perceived control is a trick your brain plays on you because it wants the nicotine.
You can kind of see how this cycle becomes really tricky to break, right?
the more you use it, the more stress you feel when you can't use it, so the greater the pull
towards the substance is. And the more singular your coping strategy becomes whereby a cigarette
or nicotine is the only thing that you want. I think another element of nicotine addiction or
nicotine usage really comes down to the fact that at different times and continuously,
Smoking has been marketed and perceived as cool, as rebellious or like a symbol of being part of the in-group.
This social dimension is actually a huge psychological hook, particularly when we're in our teenage years, but also when we're in our 20s.
And you just really want to belong.
You want to feel like, you know, you're part of a group, you're part of a crowd that you're aligned with people.
We can think about this through looking at psychologist to Herbert Kelman's different types or levels of conformity, which he theorized and worked on in the 1950s.
Basically, he came up with this theory of how we adjust our behavior to match those around us.
And he can be applied everywhere.
Like this theory applies to cults.
It applies to bullying.
It applies to why we like certain artists, why we choose certain clients.
why we choose certain clothes, it also can be applied to why we smoke. So the first level of conformity
is compliance. This is when you publicly go along with the group's behavior, even if you don't
privately agree with it because you want to gain rewards or avoid a sense of social punishment.
So you pick up a vapor to party because everyone else is doing it. You have the cigarette outside
because everyone else is outside. You don't want to be the only one inside. You're conforming to fit in.
you're conforming to be accepted, but maybe at that point you're not truly enjoying it or liking it.
Interestingly, compliance stops when there is no group pressure to conform.
So you're not going to have a cigarette unless you're in the social situation.
Next is identification.
You conform because you like or respect the group or person and you want to maintain a desirable relationship with them.
and you also want to be more like them at all times.
So maybe in older sibling babes or like the cool girls in the locker room like all chew nicotine gum.
You adopt the behavior because it strengthens your bond with the group at all times.
You are probably performing the behavior even when they're not around.
Or you're not getting pressured into it as much explicitly.
Thirdly is internalization.
This is the deepest level of conformity.
and it happens when you actually come to privately accept the belief or the behavior as your own
because you genuinely believe that it is beneficial, that it aligns with your persona, it aligns with your values.
This happens with nicotine when, you know, you perhaps have been introduced through those other mechanisms
and then you suddenly start to feel the biological and psychological pool yourself.
And so it becomes integrated into how you view your life, you know,
You believe that smoking makes you calmer.
You believe that vaping helps you focus.
You believe that, you know, it makes you look a certain way.
Your habit has at that stage become deeply embedded into your self-perception.
And it's also happening at the same time as a lot of underlying biological mechanisms.
The reasons for doing a behavior changes over time.
And it changes as your neurochemistry is changing in response to this highly addictive.
substance. We know that alongside this as well, so you're dealing with this biological component,
the stress component, this social component, and then we have the marketing component. Tobacco and
vaping industries, the tobacco and vaping industry, are incredibly good at what they do in terms of
getting more people smoking, and they exploit these psychological vulnerabilities in very sophisticated
insidious ways that often targets young people, often leverages social desirability and the desire
for belonging. So we're going to talk about just how powerful these mechanisms are, but also how
you can, I guess, act against them and maybe even escape the pool and the addiction to nicotine
after this short break.
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In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd,
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The family court hearings that followed
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This began a years-long court battle
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You doctored this particular test twice in someone, correct?
I doctored the test ones.
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Two more men who'd been through,
the same thing.
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My mind was blown.
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Flavored vapes, sleek, designs, social media influences,
and I guess also the widespread retail availability of nicotine products
are all tactics designed to attract a new generation of users.
A new generation that needs to replace the generation that used to smoke more traditionally.
These designs and flavors, they have been cooked up.
up in a lab and they are often specifically engineered to appeal to younger novelty-seeking demographics,
which is one of the reasons we're seeing such a growth in a younger audience taking up vaping.
Another huge part of why vaping and nicotine is having a moment and rising,
was its initial marketing as a healthy alternative to cigarettes or a safer way to quit smoking
or even just a harmless recreational activity.
This narrative was incredibly effective in capturing a more health-conscious generation that we found
ourselves in.
And the thing is, they weren't lying when they said that it was healthier.
It was healthier because there was no longitudinal studies proving otherwise.
And because it was just a different way of consuming the same product with a different baseline
of chemicals that didn't have as much research.
search as cigarettes. They were really able to play the naive card. You know, it's, it's really
crazy when you get into like the history of the tobacco industry and how its little grimy fingers
are in literally everything, every, every industry that you can think of. I think public perception
even now is often confused about the relative harms of vaping versus traditional cigarettes,
with many of us wrongly believing vaping is harmless or security.
significantly less harmful than it actually is.
You know, it tastes like blueberries.
Like, how could this possibly be unhealthy for me?
And this deliberate blurring of the lines is a powerful marketing tool.
It's leveraging misinformation to normalize and popularize usage.
It's burying research papers.
It's burying people who say something against this product by, you know,
undermining their credibility or by getting paying off another group of researchers or another university
to write a positive paper you know they could shell out millions of dollars to get the results they want
for this product they're trying to make money off of and here's where this is really really concerning
is that like vaping is actually and has been found to be more addictive than traditional cigarettes and it
has people consuming higher dosages and more nicotine than they would if they had been smoking,
especially for people who were trying to quit smoking.
They've done studies comparing the level of nicotine, I guess the levels of nicotine they were inhaling
slash consuming before when they were smoking versus now when they're vaping and it's higher.
Some individuals, and I know this is a bit more anecdotal, but I've spoken to people who are,
finding it so hard to quit vaping that they have gone back to traditional cigarettes as a perceived
stepping stone towards quitting nicotine in general, but vaping mainly. Like they find that cigarettes
and their use of cigarettes are actually easier to control because you can't do it in public spaces as
easily. You can't or slash you don't want to smoke in your home or in your car or in front of
people. So there's more of a barrier to constant usage. If you want some evidence that this is
actually happening or that it's not just observational, there was one 2020 study I found from
researchers at the University of Southern California, which basically analyzed over 3,000 Twitter
posts looking at common themes related to quitting Jewel, the vape brand. It's kind of gone a little bit
out of style now, but not only were over a quarter of the posts talking about different methods to
quit using Jewel. But there was quite a big proportion of them joking about how they were going
to try picking up smoking cigarettes to do so. I also saw a recent Reddit thread from someone
basically conducting an experiment on themselves by going back to cigarettes and attempts to quit
vaping to see if it was going to be successful. They tried all these other things. They couldn't
do it. You know, even just a quick look over the other comments that followed that showed that this
was not a unique situation.
A lot of people were saying that the strength and the availability of over-the-counter vapes
and the social acceptance and the fact that they taste great and they don't smell as terrible
has made them even more dependent on nicotine than they ever were before.
The initial promise of vaping that it was a healthier alternative, that it was going to help people,
I think it's just simply created a new complex addiction pathway.
Here's another element of this that I just considered as well. I need to introduce this.
Our brains are really clever at making us believe we don't have a problem.
So now we're also phasing our own minds, right?
Our brains have this really great way of convincing us that we could quit at any time,
that we're not smoking as much as we think we are, that, you know,
we have it under control as a way to keep us hooked because it does make us feel good.
even when rationally we know that we're kind of lying to ourselves.
I had this friend who used to smoke five cigarettes a day, but only five.
Like she would only have five cigarettes a day.
And she would always say, like, when I turn 25, I'm going to quit.
And one day we got approached by these, like, marketing people on the street doing a survey when we were at uni.
And they came up to us and they were like, do you, do either of you guys smoke?
We're conducting some research.
And she said no.
She was like, no, I don't.
And she fully, like, afterwards, I asked her, I was like, why did you say no?
Like, you do smoke.
And she was like, oh, no, no, no.
Like, I don't smoke because I only smoke five a day or, and I only smoke them when I'm out.
And I only smoke them on weekends or like when I'm drinking, which back then we were in college.
So we were drinking all the time.
But she was like, no, there was this cognitive dissonance.
I don't smoke.
I'm not a smoker, even though she had literally had one five minutes before.
Cognitive dissonance is a powerful psychological discomfort we feel when our beliefs,
attitudes or behaviors clash.
In the context of nicotine, the clash is very glaring and that's a great example of it right
there.
The deeply held belief of, I know that smoking and vaping is bad for my health, goes up against
the fact that we are continuing to smoke and vape.
this creates an internal tension, kind of mental unease where two things can't be true.
Like those two things that we know this is bad for us, we know we care about our health,
and yet we continue to do it.
They can't all exist at once without making us uncomfortable.
And so our brain does a few things to kind of reduce the discomfort and kind of rationalize
our behavior or lie to us.
So, for example, we might minimize the harm it's causing and say,
things like, oh, it's actually not that bad. Like, oh, my grandma, she smoked a pack a day and she
never got cancer. Like, this is, this is a lie. Some people, it just doesn't hurt some people.
We might think, everyone does it. So I won't be alone in dealing with the health consequences.
So surely, again, like, this isn't going to hurt me. And if it does, it will hurt other people as well.
We might convince ourselves that we aren't actually smokers, you know, a smoker is someone who smokes
more than five cigarettes or who smokes, you know, a pack a day. And if I'm not smoking that much,
well, then I'm not a smoker. We might focus on the perceived benefits. You know, well, it helps me
relax and de-stress. And stress is more, stress is more dangerous than smoking. So actually, I'm doing
myself a favor. We might also place it on external factors, like, well, I'm going through a breakup,
or my job is stressful right now, or everyone around me is smoking.
so I have to. It's not about me that's making the choice. It's my circumstances. And then the
biggest one is the promise of future action. So it's okay to do this right now because I know I'm
going to quit when I'm 25. I know I'm going to quit after this big exam, after this holiday. I know
I'm going to quit, you know, when I feel ready and that I could do that at any time, just that I don't
actually have a problem right now. These rationalizations are basically live.
often unconscious lies we tell ourselves to maintain a consistent self-image and to again reduce that
internal psychological discomfort. They become very powerful mental barriers, making it easier to keep
using nicotine even in the face of overwhelming evidence that it's going to harm us.
Quitting nicotine is notoriously difficult precisely because it has, and it is known as a multi-layered
addiction. It's physical, it's psychological, it's social, it's psychological, it's social.
it's behavioral, it's cognitive, it's so, it's just, it's cultural, there's so many levels to this.
It's not just breaking one chain, it's breaking many, many intricately woven ones that want to keep you locked in on this behavior.
Again, nicotine as it's pure, in a pure form is not actually bad for you.
There are nicotonic receptors in all of our brains.
It is acting on very positive chemicals in our brain that are helpful.
it's what it comes in that is so bad for us.
The intense discomfort of withdrawal symptoms as well, that is a massive barrier and that is why we continue to consume what we know as a bad and harmful product.
Even when we don't always want to, your body genuinely feels unwell.
The quickest way to relieve that is more nicotine.
Of course, then it becomes deeply entwined as well with that emotional regulation.
we were talking about. For long-term users as well, nicotine can also become deeply embedded in their
personal and social identity. I am a smoker. I am a vapour. This is part of my look. Letting go of that
identity can feel like losing a part of yourself and that's not a silly thing. That's not a small
thing either. And if all your friends and all your family still uses nicotine, again, the social
pressure, direct or indirect, the fear of missing out on shared rituals.
can make it incredibly challenging.
So how do we actually start to unlearn what is simply at its core,
just a bad habit that is held up by a lot of underlying mechanisms we've already spoken about?
How do we unlearn the bad habit?
So we need to target all three levels of this addiction, the physical, the psychological,
and the behavioral.
And it's a conscious act of reprogramming your brain and your daily life,
to respond differently to the triggers or, I don't know, I guess, yeah, the triggers is the best word,
your triggers for using nicotine.
Initially, breaking the physical cycle is really crucial.
Approaches such as nicotine replacement therapy, using patches, gums, lozenges, inhalers,
whatever it is, can really reduce physical withdrawal symptoms, giving you the psychological space to focus on
the more cognitive and behavioral aspects.
This helps your body kind of wean off the physical dependency
and lessen the physical cues that might tell you that you need to vape or need a
cigarette.
This might take you a couple of times because, you know, there are so many other things
that are going to be pulling you back.
That's okay.
Every time that you try is still a win in my mind.
even if you end up going back, that's still a couple of days that you gave your lungs a break
or that you, you know, had a bit of space just to like analyze what was really causing this
behavior. So however many times it takes, once you get a hold of the physical triggers,
you can then start to identify and disrupt the behavioral triggers.
The first step to this is, of course, self-awareness. I know it's going to sound so simple,
but really pay attention to when and why you want to use nicotine.
what are your most common psychological triggers is it certain specific times of the day certain specific
emotions like sadness like dread like stress like anxiety um is it particular places social
situations even certain objects like when you're on your phone just take a notice of when you
have that overwhelming feeling of like i need a cigarette right now or i need to vape right now
You can then try to temporarily avoid strong triggers if possible by just asking yourself to ignore it for a minute.
For a minute and then a minute and 15 seconds and then just go by the seconds.
I always think of that Kimmy Schmidt, I think it's Kimmy Schmidt quote that's like, you can do anything for 30 seconds.
You can avoid smoking, you can avoid vaping for just 30 seconds.
and then another 30 seconds.
More importantly, though, actively develop and practice healthy replacement behaviors for those triggers.
So we talked about the physical replacements, but if you habitually smoke and vape with your
morning coffee or when you're stressed or whatever it is, try and replace that behavior with
something else so you still have the ritual.
So when you are like having your morning coffee, instead of vaping.
try and like just journal have a pen in your fingers instead if you find yourself vaping when
you're at work because you're distracted or you're bored get some gum start chewing gum like that's
i know it sounds small but you've got to like almost confuse your brain and be like this is what
we used to do and this feels remarkably similar it's almost 90% there but like the 10% that's not
there like we can just hopefully ignore that and hopefully feel like this is close enough.
You know, if you used to take smoke breaks at work when you got stressed, take a five minute
walk around the block instead. Even pair this like walking around with buying yourself a snack
or buying yourself a treat. So you're getting that little dopamine boost whilst replacing the
thing you're getting a reward from. I also think setting a goal that you could only do if you are not
to smoking, something you really want to do is really, really amazing. So, for example,
there are people who, like, have kids and they think, well, I want to be able to do this with
my children and I won't be able to do that if I keep smoking. That's a great motivator.
Start training for, like, some kind of endurance race or trying to get fitter or trying to do
something that you just can't do if you're smoking. Even, like, long haul flights, if you're
really addicted. You obviously can't smoke or vape on a plane and maybe that's holding you back.
What's something that, you know, you could only do if this product was no longer in your life.
Since nicotine often serves as a physical and emotional crutch as well, we need to cultivate
healthier ways to manage stress and boredom or anger or sadness or whatever it is.
You know, the thing is, is that I can't tell you what that strategy is going to be for you because
it's actually just like an entirely personal preference. For some people it's exercise. For some
people it's meditation. For some people it's like physical like hobbies that involve your hands like
knitting like coloring in like Sudoku. It's talking to a friend. Maybe it's just therapy.
The goal here is to replace an unhealthy coping mechanism because smoking is a coping mechanism with
a beneficial one because we know we also know that our brain likes to rationalize our behaviors as
as we just spoke about, it's also important to try and restructure these as well.
Actively challenge those lies and rationalizations and false beliefs with the truth.
You know, for example, we might tell ourselves that nicotine helps me de-stress.
This could be restructured to something like nicotine relieves withdrawal, which feels like
de-stressing, but in fact, I know my overall anxiety is going to increase long-term.
you know we might be saying to ourselves oh but i'm not really a smoker maybe you could say instead
a smoker is someone who smokes and what am i currently doing i'm smoking so if i don't know admire
the identity of a smoker if i don't see this is who i am um i have to acknowledge that
it is who i am and that i'm in like i'm tied up with those things and those
parts of this activity that I don't find admirable. What does that say about my self-conceptive
concept? Just really question the deceptive narratives your brain tells you and call it out for being
sneaky. I think under everything, a belief and an actual desire and your own ability to quit is also
super important. No one can quit unless they actually want to and unless they actually believe they
can. You can give people 100,000 tips and tricks to stop vaping, but unless you want to,
want to do it, which I assume you do considering you're listening to this episode, you won't.
So think about your why. There is something calling you to want to quit or to reconsider this
relationship. Is it because you want to live a long and healthy life? Is it because you want to
complete some kind of fitness goal? Is it because you're starting to realize that this habit is
actually really uncool and that people are judging you? I think at times when you are doubting
your ability and whether this is the right choice, just returning to this why really helps
anchor you in that personal drive you have for quitting. On the back of that, I know we've kind of
introduced this in small dosages, but it's so helpful just to set small achievable goals. For example,
like I said, just going 30 seconds or an hour without trying just like one smoke-free day
rather than just going cold turkey.
I know a lot of people say go cold turkey.
I still think that like every small thing,
every small positive move in the right direction,
every time you show yourself that you can,
even if it's just for smaller and smaller
and then larger and larger increments of time,
the more you build self-trust, self-efficacy,
the more you see that like your life is not empty
without this substance.
As we said earlier, you know,
this isn't necessarily a quick fix. It might not have you quitting in the moment, but it is a worthwhile
interruption to the addiction cycle. Here's a crucial, compassionate truth. Relapse is a common part
of the quitting journey for many, many people. It is not a sign of failure. Research and clinical
guidelines show that most smokers make multiple attempts sometimes upwards of 15 before achieving long-term
abstinence. Seeing it as a setback rather than a full defeat, seeing this as part of the journey
that's going to get you to fully quit is crucial for success. If you relapse, please resist the
urge for self-criticism or shame because it only makes it harder to get back on track. When you're like,
well, I can't believe I did this, you know, again, that part of your brain that wants to protect
your self-esteem is going to say something like, well, obviously this is a sign that we're not
strong enough and so we could we should keep doing this. Obviously this is a sign that this is
part of who we are and that we need this so we should keep doing it. This keeps you stranded
in the behavioral loop, in the compulsion. It's so easy to throw in the towel at times like this,
but don't let one lapse turn into a full-blown relapse. Immediately try and get yourself to
recommit to quitting. Adjust your strategy. This is an important learning. There's important
lesson as to what drove you to relapse.
Like there is a trigger there that was ignored.
There was compulsion there that was just too hard to overcome.
What is it?
How can you gain mastery over that the next time?
And finally, this is the biggest tip I have for, I think, any kind of quitting of any
kind of behavior that you don't like.
Tell your friends.
Tell your family.
Tell the people you are around the most that this is something you want to do.
that this is something that you are committed to doing
because it gives you accountability.
If you say to your friends,
I really want to quit smoking,
I just feel like there's more of a barrier
or a sense of, you know, judgment sometimes if you're not,
especially friends who don't smoke or friends who don't vape.
Of course, if you tell your friends who do smoke,
like, I'm going to quit, you know, sometimes they don't want you to quit
because it continues to validate that they're going to be okay.
So just tell people who you know have opinions on this habit, who will encourage you and help you stay kind of loyal to your goal.
It can be such an important form of extrinsic motivation.
So I think that's all we have time for.
I hope that this episode informed you.
I hope that you learned something.
I hope that you understand nicotine as a substance more, but also the addiction behind it more as well.
and I hope you have compassion and empathy for yourself, but also for other people who are struggling with this.
I know, like, nicotine usage is on the rise. That's very scary, but I don't think that, like, all hope is lost.
And I know it's, like, dark times at the moment. Sometimes it feels like a cigarette or whatever it is, is the only hope.
But I promise it's not. And I promise that, yeah, one day you'll be able to be like, wow, I can't believe I smoked back then.
Oh, yeah, I used to be a smoker. But you're not anymore. So that's my wish for you.
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend who you think might need to hear it.
Maybe your friend who is secretly smoking but won't tell anyone or like my friend who said
she wasn't a smoker because she smoked only five cigarettes a day, whoever it is who needs
to hear this.
Share a link with them.
Make sure that you are following along wherever you are listening and give a five-star review
if you feel called to do so.
And hey, if you're still here, what should our emoji be?
leave, I don't want to make it like a cigarette emoji because that's too basic.
Leave a little puff of smoke emoji down below so I know that you made it this far.
Thanks for listening to the end.
That's so nice of you.
I appreciate that so much.
But until next time, stay safe, be kind, be gentle with yourself.
You've got this.
We will talk very, very soon.
2%.
That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available.
I'm Michael Easter.
And on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.
I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry.
We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory.
We got it wrong.
Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of
stress. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier,
more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped
Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people.
I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim?
you can find out on The Look Back at it podcast.
I'm Sam Jett.
And I'm Alex English.
Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it.
Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s.
To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack.
I'm down to talk about crack on day, but yeah, yeah, literally.
But just so you all know.
I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack.
So I'm starting to see that there's a through line.
We also have AIDS on the table right now.
Thank you for finishing that sentence.
I don't think there's a more important year for black people.
Really?
Yeah.
For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history.
Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games.
And in recognition of mental health awareness month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and
conversations with so many incredible guests.
I'm talking. Trip Fontaine,
Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're
in the pursuit of the thing, we
get so wrapped up in the chase
that we don't realize that we
are in possession of the thing.
And we're still chasing it. And we don't
know when we've done enough. Because people
scoreboard watch. Life becomes about
wins and losses.
Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,
because you find it important to be a good person
while you hear on earth? Are you a good person because
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intentions, bro.
Absolutely.
And that's two different levels of trust.
I want you to just really be a good person.
Join me, Kear Gaines,
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learn the hard way.
Open your free iHeartRadio app.
Search, learn the hard way and listen now.
In 2023,
former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd
found himself at the center of a paternity scandal.
The family court hearings that followed
revealed glaring inconsistency
in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth.
You doctored this particular test twice in so-ins, correct?
I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case.
I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for.
Sunlight's the greatest disinfected.
They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing.
Greg Alesspian and Michael Marincini.
My mind was blown.
I'm Stephanie Young.
this is Love Trap.
Laura, Scottsdale Police.
As the season continues,
Laura Owens finally faces consequences.
Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news
at Americopa County as Laura Owens
has been indicted on fraud charges.
This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona.
Listen to Love Trapped podcast
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
2%.
That's the number of people who take the stairs
when there is also an escalator available.
I'm Michael Easter.
I'm on my podcast, 2%.
I break down the signs of mental toughness,
fitness, and building resilience
in our strange modern world.
Put yourself through some hardships,
and you will come out on the other side
a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.
Listen to 2%.
That's TWO%.
On the I-HartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On the Look Back at a podcast,
For 1979, that was a big moment for me.
84 was big to me.
I'm Sam J.
And I'm Alex English.
Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down,
and try to make sense of how we survived it.
With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors.
Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s.
84 was a wild year.
It was a wild year.
I don't think there's a more important year for black people.
Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, what's good, y'all?
Listening to learn the hard way with your favorite therapist and hosts Kear Games.
This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing.
How many men carry a suit or armor.
It signals to the world that you're not to be played with.
And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to.
Listen to learn the hard way on the AHA radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins.
But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.
You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct?
I doctored the test ones.
It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern.
Two more men who'd been through the same thing.
Greg Gillespie and Michael Marantini.
My mind was blown.
I'm Stephanie Young.
This is love trapped.
Laura, Scottsdale Police.
As the season continues,
Laura Owens finally faces consequences.
Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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