The Questlove Show - QLS Classic: Desus & Mero Pt. 1

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Late-night comedy duo Desus and Mero sit down with Team Supreme to rehash their journey from Bodega Boys podcast to Showtime hit.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange, modern world. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Questlove Supreme is a production of IHeart Radio. This classic episode was produced by the team at Pandora. What up, y'all? It's Laia, and this week's QLS Classic is one of our most requested episodes. Oh, yeah, we be in the reviews and comments. So, yeah, you ask for it, and here you go.

Here is part one of Deas and Mero from May. First, 2019. This is episode 133. Damn. Enjoy. Okay, you know if you hear my voice at the top of the episode, it's going to be something different. Questlove Supreme, may contain language that might be offensive to some listeners. It's not work safe, especially this episode.

Mom's probably going to disown me. But, hey, we have fun doing it anyway. And now, a very special... Quesla. Supraima roll call My name is Fonte Yeah I bring the noise

Yeah On QLSS Yeah With the bodega boys Proc Supremma Supremma Roca

Cobrama Submara Raul Pandora's cool Yeah Showtime 2 Yeah You want a real network

Yeah Season 2 Oh C Supreme Superma Submur Superma Role

Supremea, sub, sub, sub, sub, role call. Boss Bill reps BK. Yeah. Sunrise to dark. Yeah. One saw Dezas, yeah. Chase you Prospect Park.

That's true. That's true. That's a, sub, suprema role call. Supremma, sub, sub, suprema roll call. I'm bumpaid bill. Yeah. That is my name-o. Yeah.

Shout out to my Irish brothers. Yeah. We drink in Jamo. Roe call. Supriva. Sub. Sub. Suprema Rocah

Suprema Rocah Let's get it Suprema So Suprema Roleca Yo, it's your boy Ken Merrill Yeah And I got edible arrangements

Yeah On the way to My array man Yeah Because every Role Call Supremma Supreme

Role call Supremma Subrema Subrema Role call It's Jesus Knights Yeah

I be eating rice Yeah I'm now on showtime Yeah No longer on where Roll Call Supreme Court. Supreme a Role call.

Supreme a Role call. Suprema, Sub prima, sub, sub, Supremma roll call. Suprema, Supremma role call. Man. Yeah.

Yeah. Dr. Ear. Ooh. Before we get started, before we get started, everybody that's listening to this, go to the bathroom right now. Right now. Right now.

Yeah. On, where you go? Yeah. They don't tune out, my. And if you've been listening to the show, I hope you know not to listen to us like at work. At work. Put the headphones on.

Headphones on. You're going to interview HR explaining. I think we're putting too much pressure on how rogue this show's going to be. I'm just giving people fair warning. You know what I mean? Like, it's a lot of blackness in here. Oh, yeah. It's a lot.

Yeah, look, man. Yeah. It's about to get real. Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be one of those episodes that I tell my mom not to listen to. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to be one and only. It's taking so long to make this to happen. And there two years. Two, yes, this is our dream.

This is our dream moment. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Deez's Amiro. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Free white and free free six, you heard. Thank you.

Now, I mean, technically, we have been talking even before we did the theme. Yeah. What did I walk in on, though? Like, so many things. We were discussing. We were talking about Blockbuster. We were talking about, video games. Rush hour.

Can we talk about video games? It was certain video games that just we couldn't afford. Yeah. So, like, if you knew somebody that Neo Geo was like, it was the Bitcoin of 19-2. Yeah, whatever. Like, yo. Wait, what is Neo Geo? So Neo Geo was this, it was this, it was this, our, game console that this was like,

92. It had one game. Yeah. And it was like a $100. A game console. It was a game console. But what was the game called? Where was I?

Bons Adventure was there Mario. No, Bons Adventure was TurboGraphic 16. Was it? Yeah. Oh, Neo Geo was like Fatal Fury, right? With the ponytail and fighting? Yeah, I think it was that one.

But it was this crazy expensive, like, yeah. Normal people didn't have it. Yeah. At all. I don't even legally you could buy it in the Bronx back in the day. Yeah. You own one?

I did not. But other way. You knew people that had to? For sure. He's like, I do several. It was like a dishwasher. I had several friends. What was like,

even a drug deal is in my neighborhood didn't have Neo-Gio. The thing about Neo-Geo. What was those special? The thing about Neo Geo is that they had the Neo Geo machines in the arcade where you could play the games. Oh.

And you could finish the game at home. Yeah. See, that's too much flex. Wait. What? That's too much. Yeah. Yeah.

You mean my meek voice. Oh, you're rich rich, okay. Oh, you're saving the shit at the arcade and then taking it home? Oh, okay. You can't watch. I'm saying 1992, there's a game I could play at an art. Well, there's still arcades in 1990. Did you take it up on a floppy desk?

I can't, I don't know. I wasn't rich. I don't know how it worked. How would you finish your game at home? I guess because I had the console. It was like the first SD card type of shit. Yeah. So you just put the card in the machine at home and then you would just finish the game.

And the way my parents got out and not buying that, there was like, that's a Babylon thing. You can hear it. There's no way that arcade can know what's going on. Where the hell was I with this? In 92, man. You was like in Europe or something. Yeah.

Like, now I got to. You was, you was out here doing big things, making videos and shit. You know what I mean? He was like, past the popcorn, you know what I'm saying? See what I'm on. I feel like the whole episode is going to be like this. You guys are going to just talk about man shit that I've never experienced. So none of you all had NeoGeo.

I think for me it ended out the, I had the regular Nintendo. And then I didn't make it to Super Nintendo. But I did get Sega Genesis. Sega Genesis. That was like a parallel move, though. Yeah. Yeah, it was a parallel move. Yeah.

And then from now and I don't think I jumped back on it until, well, PS1. PS1. I got back in around Dreamcast. You know what? Dreamcast was a game changer. I still have my game. It still works? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I bought the Dreamcast and then a week later they announced they were discontinued. Damn. Yeah, because Dreamcast and the thing was they were the first to get there with the online. Like they were, they were, they were a game for real. They had the 2K with the Wild Polygon hands when you shoot your free throws. and you stab each other up like, that like

are we laughing but back then we was like look at these fucking you know you can see all five of Kobe

fingers yo that's wild this is wild they are never going to top these graphics yeah I'll never I would not

I can admit I spend a lot of time watching game playthroos on YouTube like games that like I never got the beat

you're like an eight year old just see how they do it though I watch there's like you want to see the ending yeah there's a dude

that beat Metroid in like 20 minutes yeah I never would would have did that shit to this day to this day

I go back and I play Nintendo games I didn't finish as a kid and I'm like these games is hard and it did that shit on purpose because it was like yo let's make this shit dumb hard because we don't know what to do at the end like we don't know how to end this shit how to wrap it up so let's just make level 10

it would just be words yeah yeah like Japanese I'm learning that now I'm feeling like I'm bringing up the ancient games because I just covered well no no no no Dragon Field no dragons layer two oh okay

Dragon's layer two I got it's a Crabble It's the sequel to, well, you remember the Dragon's Layers? Right, they came out with the second one. Okay. Right, Dragon Layer 2, you said? Yeah. Oh, the one that was on the laser disc?

Yeah, it was. But it's on the app now. You can play it. You can play a laser disc. You can play Space Ace. It was one of the most expensive video games ever made because they thought people would pay to play it at home on a laser disc.

And not the little, the big, like a 12-dgarts. Like a Frisbee. Wilding. Wow, that's wild. That's wild. And you had that game with me. Well, I'm saying now you can play it on your iPhone. Okay.

And for some reason, I still can't master. I can't get to the end. Oh, those games are impossible, do I? It's killing you. Those games are impossible. Like, I was playing a Super Mario Odyssey, which is like the new Super Mario. I started for Switch. And I rocked that shit.

But this part of it, where it turns into the first Mario. Yeah. Wow. Wow. I was just like, bro, nah. Like, this is a straight. This is triggering. Yeah.

Now, my God, I start swaying this shit. Like, no, no, no. And I'm going to shit at my son. Like, yo, you do the shit. You're PTSD. Wait, there's a hidden screen that takes you back to... So, like, in a certain level, in certain levels, you go through a pipe. It's all the D's.

Yeah. The 4D, 2D, 3D, 8D, it's all fucked up. Mad D's. It's like there's all D's. There's all D's. You got to watch out for all the D's. You know what I just said. So are you guys still active game players?

Yeah. I try to be. I tried to be. Like, I bought the Switch about, what, two years ago now? and I haven't played it in like about six months. Yeah. I got it from my kids and I play more than them. So do I.

Oh, where? I'm still on there. I'm cold of duty. Oh, yeah. You're for Xbox. I'll be on Cold of Duty. And you know what? I'm nice with it.

So like I'm like torturing 16 year old kids. And the name, my name is clearly Jesus online. It's not hiding it. So kids like, some kids were like, he was like, that's why you lost your show. I was like, that's why I was quick-scoped you. What's wrong, you on? You on a PS4 or Xbox? Xbox.

You're X-M-K. You know what's funny? My son is. I thought I was popping, and I saw a tweet from ICE because someone was like, yo, what game system do you play? He was like both. I was like, woo. The op-less hopped at the same time.

Wow. But I did the same shit because my man was like, my man was like, yo, you got to get off that Xbox shit. That shit's corny. You got to get on PS4. I was like, I guess he made a plan with my wife to get it for Christmas. Yeah, yeah. And it's lit now.

I was just like, wow, this is. So which of the Xbox and PS4, which one is the iPhone and which one is the green box? You know what? I was like, I never. Like, I banged with PlayStation 1. And then I really fucking know. Teching.

That was my thing. Yeah. That was my thing. Because that had that GTA 3 and all that stuff. And God of war. That was when I jumped on. That joint. God of War was so ill.

But the first Xbox? Remember the first Xbox? That shit was like two bricks and cup. It was so loud. I had one of those. Shout out a fucking F-18 exhaust fan. It sounded like when the JetBlue plane backs up. I had one of those.

I think I probably turned it on maybe three times. You turned out your life. Like, wow. And Xbox? Yeah, the original Xbox. Like, I had like NBA Street and all that shit. Yeah. All right.

Also, if anyone listen, we would like to bring back NBA Street. Hello. Yeah. We already got stretching Bob's blessing. Oh, wow. The streets want that. Come on until we get crossed over. Like, ah, oh, cookies, nigger.

Can we get Def Jam vendetta back? Oh, yeah. Didn't they bring back NBA Jam recently, too? They did. They're trying to do. You got to buy the arcade game. Like, I would kill to play NBA Jam, TE again. Yo, that shit was lit.

Put up a break. What a break. Which one am I in? Where? Look at this shit. Why you got to go. Low key flex. Which one am I?

No, no. No, I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. I'm in. And Bill clean. Excuse me. Have you seen where I parked my baguadi? No, no, I'm not flexing.

Next to the mate back you least. I don't. I wasn't a gamer, but they asked, they were like, we'll make you a character. And just to be smart, I was like, all right, make me like nine feet tall and I can shoot all threes. And occasionally I'll get a tweet or whatever. Like, I'm playing with what I'm going on to? Oh, wow.

I don't, is it NBA? Google it. I hope it's for the Sixers. I'm Googling it right now. You playing for the Sixers? No, it's a, like a random. It makes cheese stakes for the six. It's like a two on two.

If you want to know how weird the world used to be Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton were the original NBA. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Was Smith and Jazzy Jeff. Sinbad, I think, was in that. Yeah, true story.

Imagine someone dropping 30 points on you with Hillary Glenn. With Hillary Clay. You're not square up. Come fight me outside. He's on fire. She stepped over you like Alan Ivers in the pants suit. Like, come on. I want to get back into the game world, but I'm afraid that I won't be as productive as I am.

Nah, you won't. But if I turn on Red Day Red Day Redemption, it's done. No, he's not playing Red Day redemption. And I'll tell you why. Why? There's a DeAngelo song in it. There is. Oh.

Today. I don't even know why, but what I mean? Hold out. There is a Vezel song. Why does that matter? Explain it to us. I don't know. I don't know.

Y'all are on good terms or not. Y'all seems to be back and forth. I think he changed his number. I mean, I'll see him at, you know. Hey, he knew phone. You know what? Can I ask a question as someone new to Hollywood? Is that like when people change their number and they'll tell you,

are you allowed to feel some kind of way about that? Is that like the Hollywood curve? Here's, oh, damn. Because, like, there's very popular people that I've texted. I'm like, yo, yo, I'm home. I'm at the game. Yo, yo, yo. I'm going to tell you what to do.

Two phone drones? Always keep, did you post up? I always keep, regular phone. I always keep my original phone on some. All right, he knows, he still knows where he came from. Right, right, right. He can go Hollywood on us.

Mm-hmm. But I might have a few bad phones. Does your original phone have a Philly number? Oh, both my joints got Philly Nice Oh, on purpose Like, I gotta Yeah, yeah

I gotta keep in Philly No, don't want my I'm gonna call in long distance Good boy Is there stills I'm not from it What is the Philly area code? I've only listened to one root album

Wait, are they from Philly? They might be They might be I believe Black Door is from Redding Newer No, no. He said, stop.

Black, he's from the truck. Black lives in South Orange now. I knew I was in trouble because I was, like, in the Bronx, and I'm saying, John. And I'm like, oh, wow. Everyone's like, what is that? I was like, I don't know. This group is saying it, and I'm saying it now.

I was living in Indiana running a website called the John. The John. That's why. I'm sorry. You know what's up? All right. I have no choice now. Every time.

I went with some group. I went to your, speaking of Philly. I went to your recommendation spots. you told me where to get the chop cheese we're going soon and you told me yeah right so check it

it was it was after a Saturday night live tape it was like two in the morning yeah and I was like I wonder if I should end up that spot now now of course you know I pulled up to the joy in Italy it's still Paul no no chop cheese

chop cheese New York Chop cheese New York yeah sorry yeah so I went to spot and first I case the place out from inside the car to make sure I was smart or you told me that's that's the first move told me but it's weird it's it's it's the spot you told me it's the spot you told me is quasi gentrified now what which one uh it okay granted it was across the street from a project yeah uh the spot could be gentrified as long as the cat is there and the owner is not American you'd be good it was somewhere between

Spanish Harlem and Mid-Harlem? Was there a $20 bill autograph taped to the wall? No, dog. It was a legit chopped cheese steak spot. You gave me the spot and I'm like, I waited until two in the morning to try. You know what? I'm not mad at the chop cheese steak. There you go. I'm not mad at. You know what the thing is like, like, Philadelphia's will kill me for saying that.

You're like, it's not comparable to anything in Philly. But it does the trick for the inner city. It gets you through it. It's the perfect. meal. It's perfect. It's like a Bronx burrito, be like you got everything for our listeners in Iowa,

could you actually explain what a chop cheese is? It's like you take a cheese burger, like a burger patty. Yeah, but you just chop it down. Chop it up on the grill. Throw some adobe on there. Some scallions.

You know what I'm saying? Just go through the whole Goya aisle. But the key to it is pop you got to use the oil that he used in the morning to fry the bacon cheese. Yeah, come on, that's right. You know what I'm saying. And if he don't toast the bread,

he don't respect it. We don't respect you a word. Yeah. If he just grab a roll, because they ask me if I wanted to toast it. You got to get it. We don't toast. You got to toast it.

And then what kind of cheese did you get? Um, see in Philly, we used American cheese. Nah, man. You got to use the triple pepper pepper jack. Well, no. Listen, I was going to say, I only use pepper jack cheese. In Philly, we use American cheese, but I use pepper jack cheese.

If your butt hole is not quivering the next. thing when you shit it out, that was not a good chop cheese. If you're not naked on the toilet, sweating like, woo! But I'm gonna tell you something. You gotta regret it an hour after. I'm gonna tell you something. Uh-oh. There's a spot in Brooklyn. Okay.

Williamsburg of all places. Oh. Williamsburg is tricky. Gentrified chop cheese. Super official with their chop cheese. Is it a gentrified spot or just feel like a hood spot? It's Williamsburg. That's what I'm saying. You never know.

You're talking about my neighborhood. Where at? Where at? Let me find her on my phone. Yeah, Williamsburg is weird because, like, which phone? You'll see, like,

a old school bodega and you go inside and, like, they're just selling palisillin for real off the bread. You're like, what is this? Fam, if you, like, you turn the corner

and there's eight Dominican dudes drinking shit out of styrofoam cups and you don't know what it is. You know what I'm saying? And then you turn the next corner there's a dude on a bike with no brakes and a handkerchief. Well, okay,

I break this down for me as a Jamaican, brother, Dezus? What is it with Jamaicans and animals? Because, like, No, no, that's just always the thing Because in the South, I mean, we would have dance hall sets And, you know, if we go out, whatever

But it was just, I just always thought of them It was like, yeah, that's the animal niggins. Yeah. It was always, mad lion, tiger, man. Okay, because the lion is like the lion is the lion MacCobro. No, it was all the, it was the zoo niggas. I was like that.

The zoo niggins. And then a lot of our cultures about, like, fucking like animals. Okay, I see the dancers. You see the, I see the, I watch. You wonder why the, The island's not overpopulated, but... Fam, you gotta watch the movie,

Rude Boy. Is it a straight-to-d-D-D-B-D-Bow? You had me a straight-the-D-D-D-D-D-D. Shot the Vix music, huh. I scooped that shit up with the big pun, like, documentary that was, like, basically just, like, his wife being, like, yo, he was wild. He beat my ass.

Like, this motherfucker used to eat sheet rock. That? All the type of crazy shit. Wait, what? Yeah. Yeah. This documentary. Sheet rock?

Yeah, fam. Oh, he's hungry. What? Like, yeah, like, yeah, like, he would just while out and just, tear a piece of sheet rock off a wall and jahs he's wow they have the beating us up they're talking like yo he came through on time he had a gun under his titty like all this wild stuff yeah pain was wild this wild all the stories like are dead ass real like no i've heard the stories i've heard i've heard stories about yeah until like a teen night jimmy's bronx cafe r r r rumped jimmy's bronx cafe

no not really not rest of the shit end it was a good time all bad things come i was out there about derango boots you know what i'm saying i was no formal shoe or the wild pop Royal Parasucos with the stripe on the side. And Pund and Joe came out, and they started doing twins. But Puck came out and Joe came out first. Like, yeah, motherfucker. Man animated, da-da-da-da-da. Punk comes out, puts a stool down in front of them, like,

da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. But he was just in the stool the whole time, but everybody was like, ah! Mixed my shit and Durango boots and shit. We all 15 and shit, wowling the fuck out. And we got in the cabman went to the TikTok diner and bounced on the bill. Before

Dice were all got on adrenaline when things fall apart pun was supposed to be in that slot Wow and for some reason

like he called the studio twice we were waiting for him to come to do his thing and he called and he's on speakerphone I was like

I mean you know one in the morning at least like you know we're still here we're working on another I was like, okay, so you know, yeah.

Okay. I was shocked. I knew it was like a Charlie Brown. You know what I'm saying? It's like we're too bad as naked in the woods. You can't look at our asses, you know what I'm saying? And then around 12, based on the tone, and then around 12, it was like, so, you know, I was like, yeah, we got to turn the record in, so, you know,

that no no no no wow and that was it that was it wow wow yeah yeah yeah

adrenaline was a track beans on that yeah oh damn yeah I remember I heard that because you know like off the root shit

I was like yeah this I was like wow it's nice Neil soul spit or whatever that really he said Neil I think he said Neil soul

right got heard the eyeball oh he with the crack crack yeah right clean the house to for instance

bro, neo-sox. I got to tell you, wait, real quick. I don't know if I ever told you all the story about when Tariq and Malick got arrested at Millersville right before we went on stage. Nope. Because of Mad Lion? Well, okay, real quick. He's like, show what you can't?

Every day. Every day. It was the Millersville homecoming show, 1995, the Roots of Mad Lion. And who's headlining? We were because Tarika It's 1925

You got to ask You got to ask So here's the deal Tarika Malick Tarika Malick were Millisville students So anything They try to play this up

As like the The homecoming Like the return of our very own Now here's the thing When they were students At Millisville Maybe it's some sort of Last Day of School

Revenge Mission on like one of the campus cops or something I don't know It could have been a bucket of water over the door could have been egging of a house, whatever

happened back in 1991 on like, you know, last day of school, man, we're going to get. They got whatever revenge on whatever correctional officer that was the campus police person. Right. Oh wow. And they've been marking the days off in the book when like when they come back to school.

So at least they have faith that they become stars and come back. Literally, the president was like, I'm out here. You know, I'm very proud to bring back our own. Malik, uh, Malik, uh, Malik, uh, Abdul Bassett and Tariq Rada,

known as the roots. And soon as they came out stage, the cops just came on stage and like arrested them. Wow. It took him on stage. That's forcing Matt Lyon to come back out and redo his entire set. Oh, wow.

One more time. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh. You know what, I'm gonna do this one, acoustic. She was literally waiting that whole time. Like, oh, as soon as they come on stage,

I'm gonna walk out and arrest them for it. Yeah, that's right off this stage, Tareke. Yeah. Probably doing a wild, whack, goddess concert joke like that, too. So the whole point was that, yeah, I've seen a mad line concert twice. In the same night.

In the same day. BDP crew. He was mad clever, though. He always started his show off with, we are taping a lot. He said, I'm recording my live album. Oh, yeah.

That's smart. My dumb ass fell for it. And I was like, yo, we said, tell everybody we're doing a live album every time, you know. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.

I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress.

Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWO percent on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Wait, can I ask something? Okay, I thought that I wasn't going to do any business talk, but I'm curious, you know, for our listeners that are listening, how did you two meet?

High school, uh, summer school in New York City. Summer school. The thing is, okay. In New York City, like, you can go whatever, high school, whatever. They have like maybe five summer schools for each borough. summer school is not really about going to school it's going to hang with your friends that you hung with in the school year and hang with everything

that's where the chicks is at yeah that's who so we're hanging you go to summer school for failing anything you can fail in gym I used to cut gym all the time because they gave me square dancing true story I had square dancing in gym too square dancing I was like fuck this shit I'm gonna go square dancing that used to be a big thing in facts

and it was like a real but the teacher didn't give a fuck he never did shit he's like I ain't a fucking gym motherfuckers so I was like fuck this I'm gonna go to next door to the gym and hoop with my friends. So I would just fail Jim and then have to go to summer school because I failed gym. So we weren't even friends then

but we were like friends adjacent. Like I knew people that hung with him but I wasn't like, that's the dude that be with my man that's, you know what I'm saying? I was like personally, that's a very loud Dominican and I hope when he grows up

real quick. I took Jim in summer school one year because I didn't want to take it during the regular year. It's wild easy. It's like when you get not for something and you get community service and the dude that's running

a community service is wild cool. He's just like you sign in and bounce. You know what I'm saying? And he just be like, yo, come back around 5 and sign out. Well, I mean, it's the middle of summer. We was doing swimming. So, you know, swimming in the summer? And you're forced to swim in the summer.

Yeah. What? Give me that. I miss getting into Bronx High School Science by three points. And they said, you can do this summer school program all summer and we'll let you go in. And my parents was like, well, I guess you're going. I was like, you thought I'm going to run the streets with my Huddling friends. We might have met earlier if you went to Bronx

Because you're just, you robbing me? Clinton was right next to my school. Clinton was right next to Bronx Science. And that shit was like a buffet. I was like, I must have like four Norface jackets off. Because Bronx Science is like the Krem de la Cremma of New York. So it's like all these smart kids. So they got responsible parents.

They have like Norface Jack. Is that what's his name went? Yes. MSNBC. Chris Hayes. I went to school with him. Are you serious? Is the nexus of many things I've learned.

Chris Hayes. I was in school with Chris Hayes from. second grade to, I want to say seventh grade, we're in the extremely gifted program. It was a magnet school for really, extremely, like some X-Men shit. OD. So you were what they were called a nerd. It was OD smart.

It was a nerd. It wasn't so much nerd stuff because we were in regular schools. So you couldn't be a nerd in a regular school. And I'll say this to say this. Nobody ever punked Chris Hayes at school. No, Chris Hayes went to a all-black school with co-op city in the Bronx. And Chris Hayes was cool with everybody. No one's Chris Hayes now.

Now everyone in MSA, everyone's like, Chris Hays was getting. But I was like, well, Chris Hays had girls in love with him. He was like the cool kid. He was a nerd. He's a nerd. He's being highly, he was being modest on our show. Yeah. Oh, Chris Pais was cool.

He was a quarterback. He's like a Lynn Nexus. Yeah, because after he left my school, he went to Hunter and Lynn Manuel and Immortal Technique. Did you have the Immortal Technique bullying, recite hip-hip-hop versus thing? Did you have that? No. When he came on an old show, he told this, he was like, yeah, yeah, I put that motherfucker

in a trash can. Because they were in a sight, Black Moon verses. Yeah, that's, oh, that's hip hop. That's hip hop. That's hip hop. Pullies somebody.

Look, if your album came out in the 90s and the title was not misspelled, you're not really happy. No, that's all that. Who got the props? The shining? D.A. Do you what?

D.A. D.A. H. You know? 5. F.T. what? Evil Dia. Who? All right.

Crazy. Come on. There is a dark side. Yeah. What happens to the soundboy? You what I'm saying? Beria. B-U-R-E-I-L.

Berial. Matter of fact, I'm getting... I was like, is that a French dessert? That's like, super specific, and we're going to reference when Smith's, when Weston became Coco-Brother.

Coco-Brose. Coco-Brav-B-A-B-B-A-B-B-A-B-B-A. Yeah. Yeah, you can't put no classic album titles in iPhones. No. Uh-huh. I feel like, what the fuck you're trying to say?

I smell them. I smell them correctly. You're like, Red Man, there is a dark time. iTunes is like, Baby shot. I'm mad, though, because now I'm starting to spell

Fabulous's name. F-A-B-O. Yo, I started doing that about like 10 years ago. I spelled the word fabulous. Like his name. It's so many first graders that Phil to spend me like, I was that nigga. Stucking your head in his cadence,

you're like, F-A-B-O-L-L-I. The word, the worst shit was and ludicrous. And the worst shit was, but the worst shit was when I misspelled genuine. Wow. His name is misspelled? Yeah.

I don't know how he smells his name. G-I-E. G-I-E. With a W-W. To be fair, though, his real name is Elgin Lumpkin. Lumpkin. I would change my-Rupon. Rumpkin, what?

Elgin Lumpkin. That sounds like the name of one of your Sims. Elgin'Lum Lungkin sounds like a guy. That's not like what niggins change their name to when they scamming. No, that's a dude that made pony. I'm Elgin Lumpkin. I'm just a bachelor. Like, all right.

Relax. Easy Elgin. Wait a minute. I got to say Missy Elliott, who I didn't realize was active on Twitter. Yeah. She didn't creep in my DM. Oh, about the list. Jesus Christ.

She wrote me. She wrote me a Quran-sized dissertation on why she should be. No, I mean, it was. We ended nicely, but I didn't realize, like, Missy Allie is a person who won't budge to do a concert unless you're paying the high six figures. So I would think that she'd be reclusive enough to not be on social media. Nah, she's all right. She's like, yo, give me a million dollars. I learned that.

She'll be like, you're cute. You got to rewind because that was. So, that's right. You've been off of social media. I've been off social media. So he's so happy. Hip-hop DX or who? It was hip hop DX.

They did a, they did like a troll move. They did, yeah, it was, I mean, so they did a list. It was like the top 20 female rap albums. And so. They didn't put Missy on that list. No, what? They took Lauren off the list. They took Lauren off the list.

They took Lauren off the list saying that, say that miseducation is R&B. It is. I mean, it kind of is. So wait, what was. But the argument is, it's no more R&B than what Missy is. being a rap album because that album made me a strong black woman. Freshman year of college, yeah. When I was going through it, I was like, my press across.

I was like, I was standing me up again. What was on the list? That shit made me start my natural. Missy's first three records were like three, two, and one. Wasn't that the kid? And so it wasn't that I was snark and Missy, but I was just like, if you're going to include Missy's albums on this list,

then you also have to include Lauren Hill. But then it's like the whole, what is hip-hop, what is not hip-hip-hop? Like, I didn't consider a rest of development. A hip hop group Wait, what were you about to say? He's like, I fucking love Was that your first rap date?

Top down. I had Tennessee I'm actually single. Relaxed by people that are going to make fun of me. Mr. Wendell, shut the fuck up. You got to shut up. You got madden. We're just talking.

It's a problem. Shut up. You got mad nervous. Yo. Bill pulled up with the kids. Bill. Bill to do shit. Tell me, yeah.

Yeah. Bill, don't get the wall. Take you to another place. Tennessee. I love them. They were great. White people love them. White people love Arrest Development.

Like, white people love Neo Geo. I'm paid. I said the words of wrestling development and your whole body language got in some stance like... You know what? It's because he's white and he don't know if you're talking about

the group or the show. I'm like, are we talking about like Jason Bateman? Are you serious? You're talking about the banana stand? So, I don't want to see. There's always money in the banana stand. This is not my inner monologue. I know I'd love to be like a Puerto Rico.

I got queued up for you. Oh, hit it. Go ahead. Oh, my God. Oh, is my real? I have a great story to tell about my randomness. It's about me. Wait, stop talking to the best part.

Here we go. My stepmother is Jamaica. It's true. It's true. My stepmother is Jamaica. Yes, so hit it. In Jamaica. Wait, do you have a best mother?

Air me now. Do I have a patto. Ear Bill. No. No. No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. I'm from Long Island.

Check it. Wait, real quick. Talk to them, Bill. And I think I brought this up. Yeah. I think I brought this up last time. All of the Jamaican nannies that are watching kids in my building dog. And this is not a flex.

It kind of was. They come to flex. Put the guns down. Put the guns down. No, I heard one of the kids has a slight. accent. Patois. It happens.

Dude, are you saying that this goes from nanny to kid? It does. It does. It does because my nephew, even though, you know, my family's Jamaican, no one in my family talks hardcore Jamaican, his nanny does. And so, like, my nephew comes to visit me and he drops some water. And he goes, oh, no, oh, no.

I was like, oh, you a 68-year-old woman that's just a woman. Oh, no. Oh, no. So sad. It is possible. I know that my dad goes to Jamaica with his wife and considers himself a Jamaican. completely racist way. Oh,

no. Oh, shit. It makes me uncomfortable. Like, that's for real. I love those people. Those people come up to me in the bar.

They're like, oh, you're Jamaican. They're like, brother. I went once and, you know, too long, too long I and I has toiled.

Let me tell you about that. I'm like, I went to sandals. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing. And I would say hedonism

the worst. If you never want to have sex again, go to hedonism. No. Heedonism is full of people who should not be naked. I didn't know that should it's terrible. Yeah, it's still around. It's the worst.

Not only is that, not only should they not be naked, they're super comfortable with their bodies and they're trying to get super comfortable with yours. Your body. Yeah. No thing. Yard is as much of fat. We got booked twice to play Heedonism 3,

and I regret it. And you what? The money was awesome. You should have done it for. You stories alone? When you walk a lot, y'all, y'all play for a crowd of a naked. For the most part.

For the most part. How do you not get distracted? It was a little chilly. It was a little chilly. they wore like, you know, towels. The whole hotel feels like a whole STD. You just want to walk around

with like after the like slides on. You have a golden strip club and some of like feet and bleach? Wow. You know what? I didn't know. I'm sorry. I took you to that strip club in LA

and that's what happened. Yo. Feet and bleach. Not a good combo. I'm glad you guys here. I'm going to get back to the rest of development on the bill. I thought we were moving on.

But in the Bronx, what are, is the Golden Lady still a thing in the Bronx? No, unfortunately. That was a landmark. Golden Ladies closed down. Sin City is about to be condos. Oh, wow.

Club W. So there. If you, listen, if you want to. Where's the spot? I hear Bronx still has the greatest strip club. That is not true. They have the greatest strip. If you are trying to commit an armed robbery.

Number one, hands down. Have you ever seen a strip? You ever seen a stripper wear a North Face while she's dancing? Where? Oh, wow. Not a North Face. Wait, wait, what? You ever had a dancer come to you?

like, yo, you fuck with hip hop. You know what I'm saying? She signed a mixed tape like, y'all wrote my name on and now you got to buy it. Where she was standing out outside of fat beats before you got the job? No, what's up? She got a fucking messenger bag full of vials and shit. Like, yo. Yo.

You know my sound cloud. We met E. That was a little lady. Like, that was back in the day. Because New York strip clubs are whack because you can't, uh, you got to cover up a lot of stuff. It's not fully naked. And then once you go to a strip club outside of New York, you never walk back to New York. New York strip clubs will have like paellaia.

Like, Yeah. That's not what I came here for. See, this is one time, Laiea really should be here. Yeah. For strip club, Paella.

No, because she used to work in a strip club. Oh, right. I mean, I used to manage a story of Queens. You know, what was that like?

What was managing the strip club like? Terrible. You managed? Yeah. Where did you manage? I don't want to turn of them as Scores East. Guzone night? Scores East.

But, um, no, it sounds like fun. It's like, oh my God. I know it's not fun. I know it's not fun.

They're like, you're like, In charge of like these half-naked hot girls I was like they're irresponsible They're late They don't go on stage on time Their catty fights People fighting over

I'm dancing to this Beyonce song tonight And now you gotta break up a fight in the locker room Or somebody brings a glass in the locker room It breaks and now someone cuts their foot And now she can't go on stage And you got dangerous shit For someone tries to bring their daughter to the club Because they can't get a babysitter

And I'm just all burnt out Also I'm like yo this shit is whack as fuck And people aren't enjoy it And I actually lost an appreciation for titty He's working there How long did you ask? That's like for years.

I was bouncing all around nightlife because I would, apparently I'm the only person. You were DJed for a while too, right? I was DJ and I was doing security. I was doing everything, bro. I was like, if you, if you,

10 jobs, I'll leave the DJ with the home depot apron on the shit. I would leave the strip club and just go put tar on someone's roof. All right, help me because I, there's still one spot that I DJ at just for kicks. Okay. But what did,

have you ever played Def Leopard's, pour some sugar on me or that, oh damn, the look, you that's, that's, that's, that's, that's the development, have you ever, have you ever had the owner come into the DJ booth and like, hey, yeah, enough hip hop plays good stuff.

Wow. And then they ring a bell and then some girls pouring like shots in her mouth. You're like, this is hell. That's wild. And that's, you do have to, that's why Manhattan strip clubs are whack, because that's what they're like. You know what I'm saying? It's just a bunch of like Russian shorthies that don't speak on English. I got F cup I remember when I was...

Oh, it's the opposite. They're mad. You're a queen. You're okay? I didn't know that skinny was the new Atlanta. Like it's... Well, that's what the point. That's like a New York strip club and shit.

Like... The finance bros be up to like, yeah, yeah. You got to go to the underground strip clubs in Brooklyn. Shake that long back. Those underground. Underground. Yeah. Where they got...

Where the strippers got ball tap back. Yeah. Why you're going to do you shit? Wait. You're back in a motherfucker. Why you... Why are you looking at the floor when you gave me that? Titty.

Huh? I wasn't looking at the floor. I was looking at you. Oh, okay. You said that would go to underground. Go to underground joints. You should be one in the bars. It was just straight up a closed down bodega.

Like it was a bodega in the daytime. Wait, underground strip clubs? That's the thing? Yeah. Hell yeah. Because then you could go out of the opera. You could drink all night. You could gamble.

You could do all drugs and shit. Gamble? They're usually selling. Yeah. Like, not that we go over that now because we are Christians and responsible. Yeah. Oh, you're all biting citizens.

I just know about this. because people have told me. Shut up. I read an article on a Multure. I read about it on the O-N-O-K. There was a New York magazine article about it. But you maintain that Queens is the best spot for it. That's why we didn't want Amazon to come.

We didn't want it to disrupt the strip club. That was AOC's real. She was like, yo, they're going to shake up. They're going to break up the booty shake club. Yeah, no, we can't have that. All right, now see. So, unpaid bill. Yeah.

All right. So you're fine with the arrested development. We're back on that. Are arrested development hip hop? Is that that discussion we're having right now? No, no, no. I'm just saying that the, like, Arrested development would tell you that they were a hip hop group.

They would. Of which I was like, I don't know. Right. So my whole point, when I was trying to make a point on Twitter was that I felt that Lauren album deserved. We're talking about that.

Well, I'm trying to. I think Lauren Hill is hip hop. I'm trying to jump out of the rabbit. I'm trying to jump out of the rabbit. I think that people, somehow like

gotten Missy's sphere to be like yo Quaslo talking shit about you that you know which wasn't the

case I was just saying that if Missy Elliot is hip hop then so Lauren Hill and I

and I agree that but yeah but I think that they only did it

for click blick but the thing is there there was there were three little Kim albums

on the list oh wow wow it was a not perspective no it was the first

oh did she got like phone but it was like it was the first one. Which is that's the one.

That's the one. But then it was like they put La Bella Mafia and like And notorious. They put Naked Truth on there because that's one they got five months. I think. I can't remember. But to do have be devil's advocate. Lauren Hill loses points because those songs were about Whitecloth.

Wow. They were. Like now that you know that, you like, and they just imagine it on top of it. Like, oh. Also, if you listen to Missy's album, she's rapping a lot more than she's singing on all. Well, that's the point that she made in this nine paragraph. She's like, you listen to Lauren album, and she's singing way more than she's rapping.

It's like, it's like Fonte's career now. Wow. Wow, that man has a family. Let us also say that, yo, Fonte's new EP is the shit. What's called? Pacific.

It's great. Check it out. Can I tell you something that's wild about Fonte? I don't know why it just popped in my head. Back in the MySpace days. Wow. When Mobb Deep dropped, I think it was they blood money. But you had that, you wrote that shit?

And I was just like, damn, I forgot about that. And I was just like, damn, he's right. I was like, damn. You know, crazy shit. We had prodigy on the show. And he said the same thing. Rest his soul, man. That shit was like, he was like, yo.

He read it in jail, right? Yeah, he was like, I read it. He was like, and I read it and I was like, yo, you was right. He was like, man, it was too much. He said with the album, he was like, man, it was too much G-U. Yeah. He said, people, he said, we didn't understand like our fans, they want to hear us like we want to hear us and get annoyed

and get all the QB, nigga. You got Ram's records with, yeah, yo and banged shit. Yeah, but yeah. He's not put young buck on her mind deep. And he was like, yo, you was right. And I was like, wow. And so I just, that was dope. That was dope. Because I got to tell him like, yo, it's just as a fan. You know what I wasn't writing on no haters shit. It was just like, nigga, I'm a fan.

You kept the fucking. No way for your editorials, including Mike Tyson's punchout. Well the fuck done, my man. I forgot about that. I don't know. Because it was one line anywhere. It was like, yo, there's no like P was like one of the best at like his opening line. And he's like, he don't got none of those on this album.

And I was just like, damn. Yeah. I was like, fuck. I was like, but they did have to. No, no, no, he said, oh, no, that was. They did have the weird, they did have the weird science. That was illustrious. They did. That was the, that was the guy that twisted.

That was the one before. Yeah. But that was more alchemist then. I told me you about to give him. Oh, no. When you said that. When you said that. When you said that.

Oh, it's over. QB. What's up? 24 side. Yeah. What's up, Scott. Rock. I always told DeNice that I always felt on the South Bronx when he said,

Yo, what's up, Scott LaR. Rock? Like, I always felt he was a goon. Like he was about to pull out. You were a T-R-808. Okay, okay. Okay. What's good?

I'm scared. I'm sorry. Oh, God. This feels like an actual rap studio session. It was just motherfuckers walking in. No, we recreate an 88 hip-hop. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Does somebody kind of come up with a blunt? So how? Rolling down the white owl. Wow. Wow. Wow. Welcome to just getting out of jail, Merrill. All right.

What do cats roll their wee with now? That's a good question. Still on the block. Still on the block. Listen, it's going to be very, this is going to be a very controversial thing. Oh, he does. Yeah. People smoke these raps called entourage.

Yeah. But the thing is because the cops, made it now. You used to be able to buy one. You got to buy a box of four and they're $15 each. But the thing is, they're $15 each if Poppy at the bodega don't fuck with you. If he thinks you're a cop or some shit,

because everyone else paid $5 for them. So if you go in the store and they're like $15, you're like, oh, where? You think I'm pussy? Right, right, right. You got to fight hockey, whatever. But I see people use that. People use Dutches, people use Roll-up. I see motherfuckers using these shits called hype.

And I used them a couple times because I flipped the shit over and I was like, And I'm not using no drugs I'm not using no drugs. That's just saying, 99 cents. They ain't doing no one syllable drugs in 2019. That's what you broke broke.

That shit comes in flavors that don't even exist. Oh, he off that hype. Like, nah. You know what's the brother saying that? Well, you can't put that weed

in a cognac ice cream rap that's called hype. Watch out. He hyping. He hyping. Get him some milk. The drugs become a verb. Yeah. You want that?

You know what I mean? No, I started smoking backwards now because, like, I was smoking Dutchess, but it's a process. And now I just got wild lazy Because you gotta un-roll the leave There's nothing lazier Than wanting to smoke weed

And be like, that's a lot of work Damn Like you really look at the weed And the rap and the wrap and the grinder like So if y'all do the vape shit Y'all fuck with that You know what I don't like the vaping Because vaping feels too much like smoking crack

And I'm gonna keep it funky Really? Okay You got the pitch for You're like the fork And you're like That's how my aunt lost the house I can't do this

Yeah, nah like I fuck with dads Because I smoke so much bud Bro I got four kids You told me So I was like I got to smoke bad weed I get it. You know what I'm like I smell weak constantly.

Like I'll eat edibles I people are like Yo, what are you doing? I wrote on Twitter like Yo I ate Um, they got some shit called punch bars, 225 milligrams.

Oh is that the, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The shit was the shit I ate that shit and I took my son to win it like a little birthday party type shit situation. Are you out of your fucking mind?

You got nice. And people are like, people are like, yo, I be smacked old 50 milligrams. We have such a high tolerance for edibles. It's ridiculous. Yo, what's wrong with you?

And like, okay, our boy, see Sabathia. Yeah. He'd be like, yo, this shit had me spent. He gave me one and I was like, I don't feel shit, bro. And he's three times of size of me. How was the birthday party?

It was fucking lit. I got videos on my phone. Yo, I got videos on my phone because it was like some mad science lab party. I was going to be some lame shit. Bouncy houses. Nah, wasn't even no bousy houses. They were just playing, like, making, doing science experiments. Bro, you would have thought I was Spielberg in that bitch, bro.

I was in there, like, doing videos and shit, like, zooming in, like, putting, like little stickers around the shit. Trying to do the Spike Lee Dolly shot. Yeah, for real. like, I got a jib in there and shit. Shit was steady. All right. So school me.

What's a high, what's a fair buzzed milligram for? For edibles? Well, apparently I was just one of our good Hollywood friends said that, um, he was like, yo, I took like a five milligram edible. I couldn't function. I was like, I was like, fam. When I got my sleeve tattoo, I did five, 250 milligram edibles at once. What?

Wow. And it wasn't enough. And you were. I was in pain, my nigga. I was like Can I give him some more? That was like, nah I'm like,

fam, like you should be dead by now. Fan, I ate four brownies that had like skull and crossbones on them. Okay. And was like, this is like, stop the story.

I got a better word. You know what I'm saying? We go to L.A. We go to the dispensary. They have a brownie that says please eat over the course of five days. Wow. Not for human consumption was your man over here

Gulliver McGee is like, you had it all? You ate the whole thing and then chase it down with a weed lemonade. Lemonade. Yeah. And then I went one for 16 for three at Venice Beach.

So then we get into a helicopter to fly to Coachella. Flex. The helicopter almost crashed in. I look at that in the back because I'm like, yo, if we're about to die, I want to know it's masculine for me to scream like a bitch. You're going to get a man over here. Your man is knocked out. Like the helicopter has dropped out the sky.

We're in like a wind farm. We're about to die. The pilot's like calling his parents like, oh, I love you. And he's like, he's like, you. Yeah, I popped up for like a hot 10 seconds. I looked and I just see my man like not with his. hand on no type of controls just like playing with an iPad

and I'm gonna go back to sleep that's a key part of this at one point our helicopter pilot pulled out the iPad and did the Google search nigger in the air fam in the air I didn't see what he was Google searching

but how is Coachella how to fly a helicopter but Coachella was the shit where it's Indio we actually how to land the helicopter we never went to Coachella oh you did you go

we just stayed in because you know what we did the math and this is like yo we flew mad for to be around mad people inconvenience and not able to go to the bathroom. We flew mad far to go to New York. And it shouldn't be mad dusty.

You never went. Never went. Nah. Who was that line in that year? Coachella's bad. The Beyonce? It was the year before Beyonce, but it was the,

we went to the weed mask party and they had this big ass screen where you could just watch Coachella. Watch the shit and smoke weed. There it is. So we're there with Tyler, the creator. I'm like, why would I go to the desert

with like these trust fund kids? Like, let me say over here. I'm good. Everybody else is wild dusty with like a problematic headware? The weed map party, they have no regular food. Every piece of food, every... It was weed related.

I have never said no to weed before, but it was weird. And it's funny because... They want some fried chicken with weed? I was like, no. Why would you make this? Because at that point, I was on the dab shit, like, heavy. Because I was like, I want to get... Because I saw I smoke a weed when I was like 12.

You feel me? So I was like, I want... Since then, I've been like chasing a dragon. Like, I want to be like... I want to be scared high, like when I was when I was like 14 type shit. You know what I'm here? I want to get to that point to highness where your heart is like

it does the beat it's like bump up it's like what's up next you know the next you know the words see along you gotta be like come on

yo come on don't go Acapopo so I do a while there's a whole set up with dabs and dab rigs and all this crazy shit and I'm like I did it the first time I did it though

I had like the fear my nigga like I went to my man's like shot to my man Roger from Puffco he had made one that was just like a portable little pen, but you put the wax in it, and it's like, I'm like, oh, this is made for me, you feel me? Because I'm up at Target

and I'm just dip off into the houseware sexual real quick. You know what I'm saying? I'm there with my mother. I come into the aisle. Like, is that? This used to be a nice target. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, I'm fucking with that. But the first time I hit it, he was like, oh, now I got a dab rig. So he got the whole shit with the, it looks like the bond with the wild shit sticking out.

And I hit that shit. And I was just like, bruh. Like, I left. I was like, at this time we had MTV. And I just had bounced out the office because we was in the do and I left, I went over there and I leave all my shit in his office and I leave and I'm walking up the stairs to the train and he's like, yo fam, you left all your shit in my office

so I go back there and all the doors look exactly the same I felt like I was in the shining my nigga like I felt like I was dead ass in the shining I was just like knocking on every door like hello right and then I'm like oh I got my phone on me I'm like let me just call this motherfuckers I'm calling me he just come out the door like yo what are you doing? I was like you just got me fucking up in the situation

where you have to save for himself. I'm the drinker, he's a smoker. So that's usually what happens. What happens is like he'll get like mad high or shit and I'm going to be drunk. I'm like, yo, you're too high to drive this car. You're too high to drive this car.

So I'm going to drop this car. Give me the keys. He's like, this is an Uber. I'm taking a driver's lap. Like, yo. Yo. We host in a party. Don't tell the story.

Tell the story. Tell the story. Tell the story. I got super, super lit. Like, I never handled over the keys. So nobody. I got wild faith in my abilities to drive our smack.

You know what I'm saying? And I was Dolo. And I was in the old accord insane tank cloth interior. Like if I lose it, I'm losing. You know what I'm good. So we do the party and like I just gave

progressively worse and worse. You know what I'm saying? We destroyed the boat. Yeah. Kendrick Lamar, we're going to be all right. Oh, man. I know the white owner was like, what the hell was going on here?

He was like, I'm never going to allow you guys on the boat again. I was like, yeah. Never again. Yeah, that's how we got here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Mobb Deep, like there was people in there bugging the fuck out. It was wild. And we're on a boat. So it's like, you're not getting off this shit. Yeah. Like, ain't no, like, yo, this shit is too crazy.

I don't do boat parties. It was one of those calypso's all white boat parties off the west side of the act. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. So boom. So we, I'm just progressively getting worse and worse.

And I'm like seeing shit in like stages. Like, I'm on the second floor. How I got to the third floor? I don't know. But now I'm on the third floor. You know what I'm saying? And it's, and it's a shit. And there's a girl in there that she's doing like some like YouTube video, whatever the fuck.

And this shit is on, as on YouTube to this day. I don't know what the fuck I'm saying in a short day. I'm just like, yeah, you know what I mean? I'm here with my girl, Chloe. I don't even know if that's her name. Also, key to this, we're hosting the party. You know what I'm saying? We're hosting the party.

All you keep hearing is like, Jesus and Mero to the main stage. To race. To Rish and Taylor. Yeah, we're just on top of it. Like, ah, yeah, we're just doing nautical shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, we were so fucked up. Just the Statue of Liberty.

Fair, we were so fucked up. That we, the DJ's going. He's doing this thing. He throws on the low wind Bobby Valentino joint that whee, we, we, we, we. It's all the thing. So, like, song is going. And then we on the mic.

So the DJ cuts the shit down. So the crowd is like, woo, whoa, woo, whoa. Like, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, whee. I was like, nigga, what are you singing? I was like, that. It's we, we.

I was like, nigga, we already got paid. I don't care. The blue face version. Way old. So after the shit, I'm like, yo bro we go we find my car finally yeah and I'm just like yo oh you're out of Seinfeld yeah anytime you gotta find a car like please please Uber it yeah so like I'm like I'm like boom it's right there boom so I'm like

yo fan I just look at him I was just like yo and he looked at me he's like yo give me the keys I was like no no hesitation was I was like fucking here here here's how you know I should not have been driving the first thing I said at the red light was oh shit you got good brakes you got great brakes you got great brakes I was like you're very You know, he said that shit like 28 times, bro? Every time we had, I was like, yo, you got, you want monarchy? Yo. Yeah, word.

Fresh pads on that. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that ain't squeaky. We end up in the shittiest Bronx diner. Fam, I woke up there. The security guard is like, aren't y'all? I was like, yeah, yeah, we just need a booth. Yeah, we just need the booth. Come on.

Stop playing. Stop playing. He's like, why y' out here? We're like, bring me a patty melt. Bring me five patty melts. I'm like, let me get, uh, we're on inland in the Bronx. Yeah, let me get your freshest oysters. Yeah.

Yeah. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong.

Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have y'all been to Europe yet or not yet We are actually going soon to we're going to London for the Boston Red Sox Yankee game So what's that? I think it's like July something

Wait how weird is that going to be where no team is booing each other because of the rival That's what we're talking about. I'll be in there some of hot tea encompass and shit. You're like you're a Philly fan you know like we'll get to a fifth fight with the queen I'll be like 27 rings bro All right I got to say I got to say

Boston Philly New York Boston, no, Boston, Phil. Yeah, Boston, Philly, you know. Wow. Yeah, it's 2009. I got to say, I had to throw out the first pitch at a Phillies game. I didn't know the pressure of throwing out a first pitch. How did it go?

I did not know that it was 60 feet away. Yeah. Did you hit the dirt? Why does everyone keep asking that? Why does everyone keep asking that? You can't hit the dirt. You better throw it over his head. You better, you put off doing the 50 move.

What happened? You do that. What happened? He'd do that shit like a volleyball. I didn't see it. First of all, first of all. What happened?

50 shot of to fade away. Did you wind up? What'd you do? Show it. Wait, this is all I'm going to say. All I'm going to say, no, no, no.

Listen, all I'm going to say is that I did not wind up or not so top 10 for ESPN's. Okay. So that was number one. I didn't want to be, I Google horrible celebrity first pitches thing. I'm not going to make that. Did you yell cheese steak?

you through the ball? No, I mean, the thing was, okay, I didn't ground it, but it hit home. It technically was a strike. I hit home plate. That sounds right. Okay. That's not a strike. It bounced. And the thing was, I was throwing to the Philly fanatic. I was thrown into the Philly fanatic. I was throwing the football. That's how a fucking strike. Yeah, he's not playing the right way. Charlie Robinson is all downhills. Do you people cheer or boo? Well, I'm from Philly. It's Philly. We booing is cheering. Sorry. I got, I go, I booed. Eventually, eventually you get a Baba had night and you and you'll be straight. Oh.

You know what I'm saying? I'm surprised that hasn't happened. You know what it was? Okay, so right when they were singing the national anthem, the guy that's with me, that one of the guards walking me, he tells me,

I don't know why he tells me this story. So he tells me a story of this, this 14-year-old boy who somehow got his arm amputated from a car accident. And he's like, did you ever hear the story? Did you ever hear the story?

No, no, no, no. the little kid, he's like, well, the little kid, he was 14-year-old. He lost his car, he lost his arm in a car accident, and University of Pennsylvania worked hard to find a prosthetic arm. And in two years, he had a mechanical arm. Oh, yeah, he threw it out. And it was his dream to come to Philly.

Dopee a curveball. And throw it right off the plane. And so he flew like, damn, I got to do better than this little fucking kid. Well, no. He threw it and like, you know, the arm went out of whack or whatever, and Philly booed him. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Shot the fuck him. Yeah. And right at that moment, he had the jacks on. So I'm telling him, so I'm like, wait, so what happened? He's like, I was like, so what happened? I was like, so what happened?

He said, oh, you know, he got booed. I said, that's the point in the story. He's like, yeah, you know, we boo everyone here. Ladies up, coming up next, there will grab me more winning, Quirklow. Get ready to boo. And then literally, he says, and the pitch.

And it was like dead silence. This is one of the moments where I threw it in slow motion And then like you know my middle fingers like Yeah It hit the ground like two feet in front of you try to throw a cutter Some shit bro, just throw it over the plate man don't get facing He was going to like a knuckle slider That's why I love the Yankees because they never have celebrities really

They were like this guy from night He was a World War I veteran or like the pizza guy Are you feel bad for him? I'm like this old racist You know I like so you lived in the Bronx Your whole lot, you find World War I. Sir, you have never said African-American. I'm saying that right now.

I don't even want to know what you called Derek Jeter. I love that afteroon. Whoa, whoa. Whoa. What? What? Yeah. Oh, chill.

Hey, stand for the anthem. Yo, if you go to Yiki game and you don't take your hat home for the anthem, the motherfuckers start looking at you like. Yeah. Shout to my boy. cops and shit. That's my boy, Black Pat. He did, I took him to a Yankee him after he just did eight years in the feds.

Oh, wow. So he's sitting there and why is he going to stand for the anthem? So this old white guy was like, show some fucking respect. Take your hat off and stand for the anthem. He was like, this country took eight years in my life. Fuck you. I'll fuck you up, old man. And I'm sitting there eating something like.

Oh, wow. The Rock is Franklin. No. Also, Questle of why haven't you written? rewritten the national anthem yet. Man, come on. You too busy? Some things you don't rewrite. I should don't slap, though. It don't slap at all. You never be in the Olympics

to people like, yo, America's theme went off. Yeah, no. That shit is a Puerto Rico. It's like so hard to sing and everything. She got weak drums. No type of place. No 808. No 8.0. No EQ and shit. All right. New anthem coming up. Thank you.

It doesn't slam it all. Don't you get future on the hook? Or if you don't rewrite it. Or if you don't rewrite it, maybe you just rearrange it. Like Mrs. what's you call it and lean on me. You know what? Why are you putting it in four?

Because it's in three, you put in four. Due to the anthem, what George's Pio did to, I got five on it. No, don't do that. Don't do what they did. Don't do what they did to that. Okay. Why do we keep reference Club Nouveau songs?

It was a kind of night. Jay King need that money. I guess so. What did you think of us? What was your, Nouveau. Jordan Peele was on the show, so he's going to give you... What did I think of us?

Wait, wait, time about how many times you see it? Twice. Okay, I'm on number four. I saw it once for free. I saw the second time I paid out of pocket. It's good to see black people making movies. Hang out. Listen.

That was so positive. Now, I mean, I get it. The thing is, I see it, and I'm like, I got it. But the thing is, like, I figured it out very early on. Okay. And I felt like it was a little. over the top. That's the only thing.

Like I, and then I mean, like, I watch a lot of horror movie. I'll read a lot of stuff. So I'm, I'm sure I took it in a different way. I've seen it. I've seen it. I haven't seen it yet. Is the whole thing, is the whole thing basically? Is he get out yet?

Yeah, I did see, I did see it out. I haven't seen Black Panther yet. When? Oh, I saw I got out. I saw it. I saw it. He won't follow anything that's true. No, no, no.

I'm just not. I'm just not. I'm just not. He's in this way the whole time. I've known him and I've known him like. Yeah. Now, he consists. I'm young what the young boys

say keeping the same energy? He's happy and I'm gonna be keeping it at all time. See, I forgot I forgot where I was going. I forgot what I was about to say. Here's an actual bill quote. I wasn't guarded.

Oh, y'all niggins would be fucking with the internet. No, see, I would have never said that because y'all don't know how much I fucking pipped the internet. He did. He did. So you said, you said, was us? Is it basically? Is it basically like a we are our own worst enemy?

No, not even. That would be too. That would be giving. giving it too much credit. It's more like, it's not that. I don't want to, you're saying it's not that deep.

It's not that deep. See, I think this is, any, I think the problem is people want the movie to be deep and they're adding some layers to it. I think it's because there was so many layers to get out because like,

and this is not, even the score, like if you, like it was like, what was it like Swahili or something? Some shit. And like the Swahili was like giving them like hints on what's up to do. Get out. Yeah.

Get out. Yeah. So, you know it's like, but that's like, think about it like this. Every now and then. He even explained himself in the interview.

He was like, yo, get out. Like, I was literally painting like the black man's nightmare. You know what I'm saying? With this, this is just a horror movie that just happens. It's centered around. I think the problem with it is there's too much room for interpretation that people are adding stuff to it. Thank you, bro.

Because I read an essay with someone was like, oh, the people wear red jumpsuits because MAGA hats are red. And I was like, you know what? This is why y'all fall for wake up now. But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, time out, time out. You got to do the image. Because look, like, I'm not like, I'm not an Eminem. fan.

Right. But I really don't like Eminem fans. You know what I'm saying? Like it's that type of shit. Like you're looking for shit that's not there. Like just enjoy the movie for what it is. Have a good time at the theater. And that was the thing.

Like Get Out was a great movie that had like a bunch of symbolism and shit. But even if you didn't get all the symbolism and the Easter egg, you could still enjoy it. You could still enjoy it just on his face. Us I thought was the exact opposite. It's a bunch of symbols and a whole bunch of like everything represents something. Did you catch that? It does take place to get out universe. Say what?

You caught that. It takes place in the get out universe, right? What do you mean? In the scene where the black family is in Tim Ty Decker's house after whatever happens. Right, right, right.

The little black boy is eating cereal without milk. Oh, yeah. Just the same way that. But see, you have stuff like that, you're like, that's like, here's stupid. Yeah.

Take that. So what does that mean in the story, though? What did that add to drive in the character? Thank you. I think, I think, for Easter eggs. But the thing is that.

I think it's like that just for people, you know, bonus, bonus shit for people that are paying attention you know but see that's me that's the thing it's like you shouldn't have to add that or if you add it's not it's not meant to be like an integral part of the story it's just like some shit like oh if you're paying attention

here's this you know yeah yeah the thing is the story falls apart without these little right right yeah because it's bro like a lot of people mad at his what's his name's character uh the husband uh Winston Winston yeah what's mad at what well you know it's him just being that's the corny dude just yeah which is like I know mad Jack and Jill motherfuckers that are corny like that.

Yeah. So I felt, well, corny people don't know they're corny. Like, that's key to being corny. Right. Like, they operate without this. They don't have the cringe fact that you get when you see them doing corny stuff. So you're just like, like, they do corny stuff and you're like, oh my God, why

would you say that? And they're just like, yo, this is just me. This is me. So I am. Right. I just got my sketches on. How do you feel? Fucking cornball. I got my relaxed. Yeah. Some of the HOTP blogs were going a little too. They were going a little too far with it. Imagine that.

Can I take some spicy real quick on this podcast? Can I make it real hot? Yes. I'd like to point out that the whole problem with us. Everything happens. Everything in that movie is responsible. Why? Because the failures of a cis-heterosexual black male.

Think about it. He didn't watch the daughter. See? If black men would do what they're supposed to do, teach these devils. Teach these devils. Subscribe to my newsletters. Subscribe to my newsletters.

Teach these devils. I'm just sitting in my car and the RBs like y'all. I got the hidden color bootlegs. I got a Pelly Peli Peli with an on and shit. Let me ask you, why the government put a fluoride in our water? To make our kids gay. You're like, Yeah, I just heard that this week.

I did not know that was HOTEP 101. I thought that was some Alex Jones. I thought that was some Alex Jones shit. Nah, that's the real truth. Think about it. The food pyramid. Pyramids in Africa. Napoleon shot off.

off the pharaoh to sphinx his nose. Nause made a song about it. I think I can't. Yo. Yo, don't abortion your womb. No, he said chicken hair. He said chicken heads don't abortion in the womb. I was like,

listen. Maybe those to go. I love Nyes. Have you ever been on the E train at four of a clock? They loud as shit. Yes, I have. Back in my more illegal days when I was in MP3 ripping group, shout to R&S. Ah, we,

Oh, you was an R&S? Oh, shit. So, Rabin the Roses. Real niggas. Real niggas shit. And I remember the ripping shit. group APC yeah

Nas's album and they had the original article in that right yeah yeah the original version of Project Windows Ron I had that version I had that

booking out my project window you know that old mad taxes but that was the first time a rap artist ever made an MP3 dissing a ripping group yeah

because Nas made he was like you like internet weirdos or whatever and like everyone in the chat room was like yo we made it yo

you talk about you weirdo like yeah we did that did you ever know anybody that was in guerrilla arms I didn't know guerrilla arms but I just out to APC CMS Egos I remember CMS and ego shout out to fair light all that I remember God I was out why even do me so this is like it was like many hours spent in IRC chat rooms trying to find unreleased shit not even we basically MP3 ripping groups we worked inside record companies yeah yeah and we were just like steal where did you use the word Rockville wow what was that

Like I if you if you if you can actually look right now did you play a dice game actually no when I worked at Bini C was beating up interns and we marched we uh hey poppy just dropped if you find hey poppy and it's the original R&S rip look through the ID3 thing the tag and definitely says Jesus but I actually I had to rip it off a vinyl so you stole shit that shit was real oh yeah I was out in these cheese reckless but hey y'all y'all y'all hip hop crumbs See to this point is... Station of limitations. Rockefeller dropped,

Hey, Poppy, just in time for the what? It was on another professor soundtrack. Right. And they dropped in time for the Puerto Rican Day parade. Oh, wow. Now, so we have

T-shirts that say, Hey, Poppy. Rockefeller Street team is nothing but like 17-year-old Lice and girls. We'll discuss that later, Jake. HR.

TZ Ronnie. We go into the Puerto Rico Day parade, and apparently we're entering it at the same time as the Latin Kings. Oh. So now we're having a... It's me and this other Brooklyn guy

and we're having a wild standoff with Mad Latin Kings with their knives out. All these girls are scared shitless. And I'm just like, yo, would you like a hey poppy promo? Please don't say that.

We ended up having to like not get in the parade. We ended up joining at like 66th Street or whatever. And people were just happy. We'll jump on that. My whole point of working at Rockefeller was I like calling girls from Rockefeller because it came up on a call idea as Rockefeller. I was like, yeah,

I'm just to see what you. I worked at Def Jam during the Carter administration, as they like to call it. And part of my job duties were, administrating the Rockefeller website, which included approving member profile photos. Yight. Yeah.

Use your imagination, and that's all I'm going to say. Member profile photo. So you could, so they, like, it was like it was almost, it was almost like a social network. And you go upload your, you know, create a profile and put your picture up there. And there were a lot of interesting profile pictures. All I remember from.

Rockafellow meet.com. I was like, the highest level you could get at Rockefeller was if you got a time port. Remember the Motorola time port? Yeah. The big, that's what it was. And I was, because Jay had one, hip hop had one. Like, I was like, damn. Those ones were you using in the, excuse me, Ms.

video. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, I'm going to do the speech. The shit that Kelly Roller had Excel on. Yeah. Yeah.

She was sending emails. She was sending emails in Excel. Yeah. Yeah. She was sending me where you were. She was spreading. She was. She was.

She was. Totally. Totally. How do you remember this? It was in the video. She opened up her thing and it was like, I'm about to do some quotient. She went deep.

She was just on a talk show, and she was like, yeah, I saw that little meme because she was like, I was in Destiny's child. Why would I know how to use Microsoft Office? Wow. Okay? I was like, just shit on us.

I mean, that's why she, why do you think she was asking everybody to pay her bills, her automobile bills? She made all the pie charts. Because I saw the video. She made all the pie charts. Was it the Nelly video? Yeah, dilemma.

Yeah. It was her. and pay you the bell. I had that memory and I was alive in the 80s and 90s. That was like a wonderful person part staple. Do it. You know. Oh yeah.

Unpaid deal is all right now. Just keep you real people. For all those out there listening, if you need some information, white people may or may not know, you give me a call. That's a 911, 415. What? Wait, can I ask a question? Since you are now the gatekeeper or one of the gatekeepers,

of Sesame Street. Why you got a sick way to that? Would you ever have these fucking? Richard Brian. Richard Brian was on Sesame Street. Was he? Hell yeah.

Was Paul Mooney on Sesame Street? Yeah, everybody on Sesame Street. I don't know. Don't quiz me now. No, motherfucker. You're gross. Hey, Questlove was on Sesame Street. You were great.

Thanks. O'J was on Sesame Street. Not the name drop. We're going to be all there like, yo, Big Bird, what's up? What's up with that pack? You know, what's good? What's up?

You got stuff off and getting the toe all around. You. That's a man? You know, wait, y'all got the, uh, the Muppet whose dad's in prison, right? Yeah. What's his name? You got the incarcerated Muppets? One of y'allah.

Autistic. I'd be like, yo, peace and respect to you, too. Cala. Your father was a real nigger on the street. You're saying, word. Word. So if you need anything we got you, you need something from Mr. Hooper store. You know what I got you.

You know, God. You got you. You got to our sight. Yeah, that nigger, Grover, looking at you funny? I got you, dude. Anyway, we go see these. Can I tell you something. For the seeds.

Respect to my old earth. Tomorrow, I actually, this is true. Tomorrow, 2.30 p.m., I have to go to media training at Sesame Street. What?

So that I am trained in the areas of media, which includes this fucked up room that I'm in right now. So I say the right shit. And they know what podcast are old. We're going to do a reboot of a top boy using Muppets. How good it was my fucking fool Kamali?

What? Just throw a Muppet off the balcony. You fuck with Top Boy? I scroll past the shit every time. I've never seen Top Boy? I turned that shit off for like split second and it was like, hey, it's about, oh my God.

It's about, they're selling drugs in North London in the projects. Okay. And at first you're like, I don't get. So this is a sick. It's like a, it's like a sitcom,

it's like a show. It's like the wire. And Drake is doing, Drake is out of their pocket funding the last season of it. Wow. It's so good. Drake was acting in. And it's on,

where can I see this? He needs. He needs more slang words. He needs more slang words. But we've waited, like, Top Boy fans have waited something like three years for this last season that Drake just previewed is coming out.

That show is, trust me. It's like that. I don't, I do not highly recommend stuff other than the Star is born, clearly. And Sex and the City. And Sex and the City. If you like puns and people not really understand how sex works, sex in the City is for you.

But check out Todd Boy. Hold, hold, hold on. I'm amazed at how much you fucking know about sex in the City. Why? Why? I don't know about Sex and City was fun. Because my sister bought HBO just two. watch Texas of the city.

And I was, I was waddling at the time. So my parents were like, could you just stay inside? Because I feel like you're going to die. And I was like, fine. So I was like, all right. Let me go watch Texas in the city. And it was weird to me because it was like, it was literally places we would pass that would not allow us in. Yeah.

Wow. And it was like, I'm like, oh, that's what they do in these places and shit. I was like, oh, Applemore TV. That's what people drink. Causeapology. But that's like one of the weirdest things that I know. I'm, okay, everybody's listening. I've known these for like 15 years.

It's got to be more than that. Were you happy back then? Shut up. Wow. Wow. Anyway, so yeah. Like. The trajectory, yeah.

That was my trajectory was not sex in the city. Yeah, it's like, just fine enough that you like, you have like an encyclopedic knowledge of that fucking show. I can like recite individual lines, plot lines. It freaks women out. It freaks me out. And what's funny is women are just like, yo, that's cool. Like a boyfriend that like sex is eight. I'm like, yeah, this reminds me of like episode 35 season five.

You're like, uh, every time this show comes up. I mean, I watch it normally, but I don't have. have an encyclopedia knowledge about it. There's not that much to know. There's like two black episodes which were very problematic. There's Blair Underwood, right? Blair Underwood. And then like the black girl was like, you'll never be allowed in arms. Like it was like very over the top.

Oh, sassy? Yeah, sassy urban chick. Miranda not eating the guy's butt after he ate her butt. Which was a huge problem. Miranda's a red one? Trying to be mayor. You can't be mayor of New York. No, she's trying to be governor, wasn't she? Even worse. You can't be mayor of New York and not eat butt. Yeah.

in my head. You got to get in that butt. She's what the nerd do, right? Yeah, Steve. I'm Steve. Yeah, Steve. Oh, Steve. One ball.

Every chick loves Steve. Miranda, I got to practice my three times. Everyone loves Steve. I've seen like two episodes of the show in my entire life. I'm like, two minutes for that show my entire life. I'm like, yeah, niggas had HBO? Oh, what? Y'all doing it like that?

I was like, fam, I got to hover that VHS tape on top of my fucking tablebox. To get like two minutes of the space channel. I did an interview I think with Volta like a dude on Showtime. What the fuck are you talking about, man? Who has Showtime? I do, but I'm the only person I think in this room. I did an interview of, I think, Volcher magazine. They were asking about sex in the city.

And the creator Sex and the City retweeted it. It was like, yo, this is hell of interesting. You know, she's like someone like me. And some lady was like, no one cares about the male gays. They was like, yeah, we care about this one. It was like, yeah, this is the male gays. Also, if you watch Sex in the City, Carrie was a piece of shit. No, she was the worst character.

She was the worst. She was the worst character. I never heard no personal development. That's weird. I never heard girls claiming, like, you know. You're carrying if your life is a mess. Fam, this is like a fucking bizarre little baller shop right now. I'm like, what the fuck is going to say?

I'm waiting for the, like, the LeBron MJ shit to start. That niggas talking about sex in the city. I'm like, you're doing a lot of fantastic things. You're like, you're like, Carrie versus Samantha. Who you got? Call your hair guy, Amir. We need a cut. I walked into super cuts

Russell Wilson's like I got next Now I'm just saying that I know that women Women No I'm gonna cut With paper serious God you did that

He got one of the worst lineups in the game Russell Wilson man I love that we all feel safe You ain't Russell Wilson We all still feel safe Roasted Russell Wilson Russell Wilson will beat all of us

Is that CRIS? Yeah He was just He was on our show last week, right? So he's not going to be back around y'all anytime soon. So we're good. He's going to be like, gosh, you guys roasted me. 2%.

That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience

that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-P-Sent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, so speaking of roasting, without stating the captain obvious one. Let's go. Let's go. Without stating the captain obvious one. That's right. Who, has anyone else ever tried to see y'all? Lonnie Love.

Or I'm approaching, nigga. Lonnie Love. Lonnie Love. Yeah, I want to know what was up with that. L-O-N-I, get the chick. Yeah. Because, you know what is? Does that show The Real?

Right. And oh, your man over here can't tell the difference because you're Sherry Shepard and Lonnie Love. Is that difficult? Is that difficult? It is a little. I don't know what you're talking about. Thank you. Thank you.

So I keep playing out the differences. And she was like, I don't know what white producer thought you told you thought this would be funny. But it's very, you know, like, it's not. I was like, nah, fam, I'm sorry Lonnie or Sherry. I don't know what you, you know what I mean? I mean, not to be spicy, but I mean. Be spicy, but the spice zone. The real is just the go-bop version of the refute.

You feel me? That's all it is. It's like if you're a pair You have creole of creon. I had nothing to do with none of this. Jeannie, I had nothing to do with this. I mean, I love them. You have Oregon.

You have hydrox. I feel like we're at the point now. It's still good with us. I'll see you want to get to LA. I feel like we're at the point now. We can say hot shit and people still have to have what's on. Right? Yeah.

So, uh, you know? That's not Sherry Sharper, by the way. Not yet. The Sherry Goldberg. No, she was tight too. In a building. We're funny. We had that other beef.

And then while that's going on, Sherry came through like, yo, I got shooters. So I was like, yo, that's my hell. Wait, what? I was like, I want all the smoke. Sherry was popping. Yeah. She bought her to Kim Marry's true. My dude, he had 40 up.

What up? What? Sherry, man. Really? Sherry come up and fucking take her belt off. Oh, my God. That's the worst feeling of. Y'all, there was a girl in ninth grade.

Like, I tripped her when she was running. She had a name belt on. she didn't know what to do she was so stunned and she thought about it and then she just took her belt off and I was like oh god that's my ass

I'm not going to be trying man let me tell you something shout out to Cynthia Wright I'm still matter of fact she reminded me on this shit on Facebook I'm like yo

why I remember that time where I beat your ass in lunch with my name is she WR or R Rock is that a big WR do they teach you that do they teach you that

in like the self-defense class like you'll take your belt off and hook over with your belt She did that like a black mother possessed. Wow. Yo, because I was at a bar with my man Nace, who's a loose cannon, just came home.

Shout at the Nase. But we at a bar and some dude steps on his feet. You know what I'm saying? On his sneakers. You know what I'm saying? He's one of those dudes. That's like, yo, you step, yo, you apologize my nigga.

You violated. You feel me? Like, we over here. Were they Jordan? Yeah. Yeah. They were Jordan for us. You know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, you violated my nigga. You know what I'm saying? You fuck my shit's up. And the homie

was just like fuck out of here man nigga just kept the movie he's like nah it ain't no fuck out of here so that he escalated situation

we didn't realize it was it's me and him and like my other homeboy and it's like 10, 12 of them oh so the shit turns

into this wild bar you feel me so this shit turns into some wild brawl people throwing shit all going all crazy

there's one woman in there bee she takes off a belt and starts hooking off on everybody everybody

hitting the with a buckle like pah, pah! Like Indiana Jones We're on the Ave and she's still swinging the belt I swear to God

there's sparks coming out the floor When I worked in the strip club there was like these two group Mexican construction workers They got into like the wild fight But they had the wild O.D. Buckle belt belt.

So we're like yo you got You can't fight in the club like take that shit outside Your man takes his belt buckle and keeps hitting the asphalt with it and makes sharpening it coming off the belt buckle

like yo who want to fuck with me. And I never seen no shit like I got on the phone like yeah they're a Mexican they're like what club you're calling for? I'm like uh Riviera's quick uh I never see they were like yo go break it up and I was like nah I get off working like too much our first night in Paris was like a night off before like we do a big show yeah we go to some hip hop club this is like 94 was the club jibis I don't know what's club it was that's the only not to cut you up that is the only club in my whole entire life as a Bronx resident I got mugged.

Wow. In Algerian, I was trying to get back to the Sofutel, whatever, whatever, in Paris. Oh, you already know what was that with Algeria. Yeah. So I pull out my phone and I'm like, yo, I'm like, oh, you black, we black. Ha ha ha. Pan Africa. Ha ha.

Yo, Obama. So. So, I'm like, yo, so fatale, he goes, yikes puts in his pocket. I'm there with a group of British citizens or white and they're like, no, no. Or white. They're like, just let it go. It looks like you lost your phone, man. What are those.

I was like, what of them goes, looks like you've got chooks, mate. What if it goes, don't worry about it. We'll go to the embassy in the morning. I was like, the fuck we will. So I go and I grab the phone out of his pocket and I push him down. Okay. And he's looking at me like,

this is not how we do it in France. Everyone's like, yeah, you just let them take your stuff. I was like, not me. Fuck this. I'm out here. I'm from the Bronx. I'm out here by my damn cell. Are they still scared in New York?

I had a Yankee logo on my hat and some girls started crying in the club. She was like, I'll never get to New York. I was like, it's a pipe. I was like, it's a flight, ma'am. New York, you're just scared. But, so then, like, I'm like, everyone in my group is like, they're going to come back. We got to get out of here, whatever.

So we go to, like, a taxi cab stand. And it's France. So everyone's, like, smoking cigarettes. It's like, it's two hours for a cab. We are so stressed out. We are queued up. I was like, first of a cue is not the right term. But I'm like, I'm like, I'm from the bras.

I'm like, I'm from the bra. I'm like, wow. I got my shirt off and shit. And so a car pulls up. Like Sam Jackson do the right thing. Who are so I'm going to fuck with a Hollywood court? Huh? So a car pulls up.

Shurless black people and friends? That's not okay. A couple was about to get in the cab. And I'm like, fuck that, fuck that. That's my cat. A bonus track. I bang on the door. Okay.

And I was like, Sofitel, so fatel. Sofertel. And then the guy, the driver goes, he like, he goes, hip hop, hip hop? And I was like, yeah, my dick. So we're in the cab going back to the sofa. He's like, yeah, you fuck with hip hop? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, I love America. I love America. I love it. They're doing 20 Parker. He's like black people. Yes, yes, yes, yes. He's like, it's just a flight. In the morning, they actually wanted me to go to the embassy,

the file of report. I was like, I got my blackberry back. Fuck that. But shout to that one kid that tried. My blackberry. Algerians saw Kamaul. And this is back when Kamaul had like a massive beard and a big ass pro.

And they thought he was part of the rival Algerian gang. And so at least in 94, all they had to go in America was Hood films. Yeah. Like boys in the, like, that's all you had to say. You could maybe scare them, but not the Algerians. These motherfuckers put out knives and shit and just started sparking up the ground like I never saw before. And it was like, come out and play.

I'm like, no, we don't do that in America. We do not do that in America. What are you doing? They sharpen their knives on the sidewalk and we was out. Yeah. Listen, being from the Bronx, you'd be like, yeah, motherfucker I'm tough as shit. Well, being from Philly, you know what I'm saying? In some areas, you're like, man, I fuck anybody up.

you go to developing nations, my jean? That shit is different, bro. Like, my parents who sent me to D-R every summer like, yo, you're gonna learn, motherfucker-in'clock.

Like, there's motherfuckers in the street burning tires and shit. Like, yo, we got to shut down the whole crib. They got metal shutters on the windows because the motherfuckers is on strike. They send you there

just to learn how to do that to be able to humble you. Listen, you're going to bathe out this oil drum, you know what I'm saying? With a fucking bucket of water. You know what I'm saying? You're going to shit in the house.

You go wipe your ass with this phone book. You know what I'm saying? Wow. Here's this big-ass thing of avocados. Don't come home till they all sold. You know what I'm saying? Yes. And here's some flip-flops.

Go get to work, motherfucker. My cousins in Jamaica, they live in Tivoli Gardens. It's not called Tivoli Gardens, which is run by gunmen. Okay. So we go there on vacation. And so my father's driving to rent a car. And we just stopped because there is a barricade in the street

where they're burning just loose pieces of woods and tires. And there's two guys with M-16s just standing there. Like, you cannot enter the town. So I was like, oh, okay. I was like, you know, there's a sandals. was like two miles different. So my father's like, beaches.

And he rose down the window. He goes, Barrington, to me, Cleveland, Cleveland, and your cousin. And they're like, oh,

they put down the guns and the power of this. My cousin's like, I'm blocking the road. I'm like, I don't know if we should go into shit, but there we are. So what's the significance

of the burning tires? Like, what is they were, you know what they were burning tires in that town to let the cops know that the cops were not wanted in that town.

Like the gunmen had that's all that. Wait, that's all you got to do? Listen, they don't... The cops in Jamaica don't even have, like... Copts in Jamaica don't have, like, uniforms, really. Like, it's just like, yo, like, they have, like, the fucking Memphis Bleak promotional t-shirt or shit.

The losing NBA team. They got the Camel shorts from Dr. Jays. I went to Antigua for Carnival. There was a Sixers World Champion. Because I am a hard-headed... Because I'm a hard-headed American, I don't... Google laws about other countries. apparently in the Caribbean

you cannot wear camouflage anything at all. They would not allow you into the country. Seriously? So I come in, I'm from New York. So you know, I come in with six pairs of camo shorts.

Like, yo, let's go. We're going all week with these shits. And some lady very politely comes up to me and she goes, you need to go in the bathroom and change right now.

You can be arrested. Wow. And I was like, for what? She was like the camo shorts. That's what our cops wear. And I was like, so that's more a problem on y'all than me.

Like, I'm just here dripping. Like, y'all just don't got, but no, The cops and antiques. They've never seen hip-hop videos. They just wear different types of camos. You can't wear camo on the island.

It does of the commandos with camos. You know what I'm saying? And those are the dudes. Yo, you could go to the fucking, like regular degular supermarket. Okay. And a dude in front of this shit got a chopper. You know what I'm saying? Like, he don't got a flashlight or tasered.

He ain't asking for the receipt when you come out. He's something full-old on shit. You know what I'm saying? He's just standing there like with a beer. Like, I'm just like, fam. Like, this don't... It's different. What did your folks do?

What do your folks do? My pops is an HVAC technician and my mom's is a teacher. But they both retire now. They moved back. So they still, oh, they back in D. They came here, milked the titty, you know what I'm saying? Took the bag back home.

What about your folks? What did my parents do other than be miserable? You know what's funny? My grandfather, I forgot, I never knew what my grandfather did for living because he's so much, like my grandfather died at 99. But the wildest part was my whole life, my grandfather, in the rural part, Jamaica, in the country, no paved roads, no electricity, the outhouse and everything.

Blind from birth. Wow. So, you know, it's always been like, yo, grandpa, like he's feeling on our face or whatever. One day we get this wild call from my arms. He can see. He can see. Oh, my God.

He can see. Come down. Come down. Come down. And I'm like, what? And my father's like, your grandfather has to see you. I was like, all right, fine.

I guess this would be like a wild homewalk moment. Like, I'm imagining my grandfather, like, tear up when he see me. We pull up to Jamaica. Your man's on the porch. And he was like, hmm. I was like, my nigger. We just flew on a plane. Because we heard you can see.

You really said, huh? I had to. You looked at me like I was a fucking, like an old beef patty. I thought you would look more like shy. I was like, you know what? When I go get some rainwater to drink so I'll be hydrated, I'm going to think about it. It's 6 o'clock the wild dogs are coming, so I got to strut for my night. So are your folks?

So are your folks? My parents are here, but I got wild family in Jamaica and in England. and like in South London, Brixton, which is crazy because I go there, and my aunt's like, don't go outside, you get stabbed. I'm like, yeah, I'm from the Bronx. I was like, also you got,

I was like, also you guys know, like, if you put a car between the person trying to stab you, you're usually good. Oh, you just run around the circles around the car. But no, like, I, I really was, I was like, yo, stabbing's not that serious. Stabbing is extremely serious. Oh, like that's like black or black crime out there for them.

But it's just like, you can't take it serious because they sound like butlers. You can't be scared of them. It's like getting stabbed by Jeffrey. from first. Leeds. Mr. Belven. Look at this.

Look at this. Look at your trousers. Look at your trousers, mate. So. Oh my God. Don't gutted me. That's how y'all roasting out here? Like, where?

Look at my trousers, mate. So in light of the assent of the Deas and Mural brand. Right. How different is it with your family now? Oh, now my mom has, she don't even hesitate, bro. She just pull up. She's like James Hardin, bro. Straight to the rack.

Yo, let me hold five. geez. Right. Like straight up. And guess me every time with the up and under and shit like in one whole she asked for five

I end up giving a six. She's like yo, the old house, yo, there's a fucking crack in this shit and there's, it's sleeping. It's the first house

we bought in this country. She gave me the whole spiel like, yo, this is our blood, sweating tears. Your father broke his leg behind this.

You know what I'm saying? I was pregnant going through college with you. I was, I didn't speak English. I dropped the pyramids. And I was so, asshole.

Yeah, exactly. She tells, yo, every time I'm, every time I was talking to this story, every time I fucked up. She's like, yeah, I was nine months pregnant with you. I was about to give birth. And I was finishing my bachelor's, you know what I'm saying? Because she had her bachelor's in D.R. But when she came over here, they made her start all over. Oh, damn.

With no English. You feel me? So then she's in CUNY, like, trying to, like, keep a head above water. And she's out here killing it. But she's wild pregnant. And she had her one pair of mittens because, you know, D.R's, there ain't no fucking snow in D. So she had one pair of mittens. and her whole story was just like,

you know, when I came to this country and I was pregnant with you because you were most difficult for me. I was 130 pounds. I gained 220 pounds. I was very big, very difficult for me. I could not bend over. So when I get off the boss,

I was somebody because I didn't speak English. I dropped my meeting in the portal and I just left it there. What about your folks? What did they do? So what did you said, what did they do? My parents are retired. Okay, they retired.

My parents, they may, you know it's really funny? My parents came here from the United States, came from Jamaica with nothing. Okay. What city or what part of Jamaica? What part of Jamaica? In the hills, Black, St. Elizabeth. Okay. Any relation built?

Dude, I'm pretty sure my stepmother and your parents are related. They probably are. Y'all might be cousins. So my father gets here. The first thing, the first, the first thing, my first thing, my father. father buys is Trump's the art of the deal. Oh, no. No, but you know,

my uncle, in the 80s, my uncle read that book. That was like, yeah. Everything he learned in that, he was able to become very successful in real estate. Like, he made a lot of money in real estate. I'm never going to see any of it because he's like, I made that, that you didn't make that little nigga. Like, I don't even know you. But, so they retired in Florida now.

And, oh, my God. Wait, black people retire to Florida? They reply to West Palm Beach, because that's like Oh, okay. That's crazy. West Palm Beach. Like Jews and black folk. I'm tired of Florida. Yo, facts.

Because. Or St. Lucy, you know. Because my wife is Jewish. And every fucking... Wait, pause. Your wife is Jewish? Yes. Oh, yeah.

No, you clearly have not heard of the podcast. Where the fuck you be the Jew in the Bronx? In Florida Road. I was... I lived on 180 in Cambridge in with my girlfriend at the time. Play a horror. Go ahead.

And I was like... You know what I'm saying? I was doing my little thing. You know, I'm saying? You know, statute of limitations. I ain't going to say too much. But I used to go to go. this pool hole all the time that was like for locals.

Like this was like, yo, if you're a Fordham student, if you're a Fordham student, like you go to like Muggsies, you go to this bar over here, you go to this bar over there because it's safe. You know what I mean? You got to show you a Fordham ID to go in there. She used to be up in a local pool hole with, with the goons. Like, I'm up there with six dudes with North Face jackets. We all dusted with gold grills and shit.

We all look like Rizzo. You know what I'm like? Wild goats and all that. And I'm like, who is this? I'm like, yo, who's this wild, Lyskin, Puerto Rican chick? Like, because she can't be white. been here. You know what I'm saying? Fast forward like a decade and I'm working at a school because at this point I'm just like yo I don't got no aim in life. You feel me? Like he had a hundred

thousand jobs. I was just like boosting hustling just trying to like finesse my way through shit. And so then my mom was like, you need to stop. You need to get a real job with insurance and benefits and things like this because in this country that's all that matter to you is you have insurance. I was like, I'm a bet. I got you. And I was like, all right, which government job does not piss test. And it's a Department of Education. So I went over there. You're serious?

Wow. Oh, wow. That's a fucking magic. You got to be how to do with the kids. You got to be how to do with the kids. Yo, and it bugged me to fuck out because the first time, like, I went there and they fingerprinted me and I was shook because I was like, I don't got no felonies. But I got a couple of misdemeanors or whatever.

But they were all like bullshit, like whatever. I never got caught up on no felony shit. So I got, like, I got through that. Exactly. Exactly. Once again. So I was listening to it's like, what? What?

What? So I scared. So I scared. through the whole process, whatever. If you start to me too in the show with Don Cheater, you know what happens. They never see me piss. You know what I'm saying? They never make me take a piss.

Whatever they think of me, I'm all good. I get nominated by the principal who used to be my English teacher back in the day. You know what I'm saying? And I started working in the same school that I went to in junior high. I won't 76 a more. We shot to South Bronx. You know what I'm saying? And this lady across the hall from me is just wow loud.

And she got the worst class in the school. Like they're giving her like the 15, 16. This is junior high. You age out at 13. 14 they 15 16 in junior it up beat it up yeah like gang banging for real and she got them in there reading fucking james like peril and shit because she got them in there reading steinbeck and shit and I'm like oh no steinbeck yeah and I was just like and I'm looking I'm like uh-jew I was like I was like yo did you go to Fordham oh shit shout to Victoria yeah not to oh were you asking

about my parents about my yeah my sister as a birthday gift for the flex this my sister right You know, like her birthday came And I was like, damn Like, I'm popping And you know every now You gotta do it real hard On your family Like yo

Yes Let me let me give you some shit You could never have In your whole entire fucking life So you know I'm really on TV Doing this shit So for my sister's birthday I'm flying her

And for her friends Out to Essence Fest Oh wow Putting them up in a nice ass hotel Then I'm got paid for shit Pay for the tickets and shit Charlie Wilson is that beauhoffat He's like shoot me

Can I take yo bag? That's actually not funny Charlie Wilson has not been the essence for three years in the row. It's actually Frankie Beverly is the belt. Listen, she got the all white outfits for Sunday night.

But no, like every night she texts me. She's like, I can't believe this. This is so like with the wild crying emoji. I was like, yeah, you enjoy that.

That'll buy 15 months. Yeah. But not for the, I used to work at, I used to work at Essus best. Oh, you were at Esst's Fest. I've had every job. I've had every job.

I got, I got deaded by, uh, was Kenya Moore at, uh, at, uh, shit. Are you serious? You try to holler. I tried to holl her

open bar and her boyfriend was right there. She was like, what are you doing, little nigger? Yeah, I had that heading in my system.

I came up and was like, what's up? I didn't say anything after that. I haven't heard by some of the hottest women in the world. Like, what's her name?

Shorty from scandal? Carrie Washington. Carrie Washington. Yeah, she's a master curve. Yo, Fab. I came up to her. And I was like, you're from the Bronx.

I'm from the Bronx. What's up? She was like, and she literally said to me, are you for real right now? What year? Wait, save the last dance era or?

Scandal like season three. Oh, so she's in season. That was a, that was a Steph Curry. You know? You want to know how dusty I was? You want to know how dusty I was?

I had just fought with the owner the nightclub. I was like, $5 for co-check? Nick, I just bought my shit up behind this chair over here. What's wrong with you? So, you know,

we come forward with you. Damn man I'm trying to come and save the last dance Eric Kerry Yeah She was married then Yeah

I know You got shoot the shots It's Hollywood baby It's Hollywood baby I know To the dude from saving Last Dance So I gotta ask

If Okay so I always have this jinks thing When people Upgrade Then there's a fear That they might lose The rawness Of the demo

Right Ie Riza Leaving the projects And making Wu Ting Forever LA. I mean you making things fall apart.

Oh. You meant phrenology. You meant phrenology. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. I enjoyed water. Digger, yes.

Anyway, are there any concerns with you guys upgrading? Of course. To a higher level that you might lose the wrongness. You know what it is. I'm on Twitter right now telling Tucker Carlson. Talk a call on. shot's fine. I said Tucker Carl's

I'll fuck you up, me. Yeah, that's not what we're talking about. Like, I don't care. That's not what we're talking about. I don't care.

I'm going to still do what I do. I like to think of it like Jay Z. Early Jay Z versus he's talking that gun talk. He's talking that Coke talk. He's talking that Bronx. He's talking that Brooklyn shit. Now his soul is colorless. Now my soul is colorless.

But Jay Z made a gradual transition. Now he's a father. Now he's a philanthropist. Now he's doing charity. So you in blue era. He grew up. He's a father. The problem is.

quest is that you don't see he sees your pain so you don't see his pain like jes he was talking about leaving condoms on baby seats yes yes i feel you know like yes i'm i'm king upgrade i know you know about but i'm just saying is have you found an easy transition there's a fear of it because you definitely see fans like i love the i love the last show you have you have fans are like i love the last show you should never stop doing the last show but it's like fam we just keep leveling up yeah and you have to come with us you have to believe in the brand you have to believe in the message believe in our talent From joking off. From joking off.

From joking off. My God, joking off. Yeah. Joking off. When we said like two jokes that were cleared by Viacom and they were just like, they were like, we did one joke and I came on and I was like, paw, paw, paw, paw, pa, pa, pa, pa. And it was like, we had to explain to the audience what that was. And it was like, that's a Chicago lullaby.

And that's why we were not in the next season of Jockock. But, you know, like, that's the kind of humor. Is it harder in front of an audience? You know, no, no, we love an audience because the audience is a media. feedback for your jokes and stuff. And the people coming to our show fuck with us heavy. So they get the humor.

So you can do that kind of dark, sick humor that maybe not translates on showtime, but the audience gets it. And then if people at home hear the audience laughter, they're like, okay, maybe I just got to stick up my butt. I have one complaint about the new show. Rainbow. You don't want to hear it, but you know.

It's not the rainbow. Not the bear neither. The what? The bear. I bought the motherfucking shirt with the bear on it. Yeah. It's limited edition now That was vintage

And now there's no fucking bear on the show Why is there no beer Because it was in the vice conference room You're in a conference room? We were in a conference room Okay That's where y'all taped that show It was like this

With three cameras back there You know what I'm saying? Straight up And y'all take So what was y'all's weekly schedule Like taping that shit Tapes show

Tapes show, tape a show Die You know what I'm saying? You know what? Tape a show four times a week And then the podcast Friday Do you know the really bad Wendy's in Senate City? It's 15th in Chestnut?

Yeah. Where Kanye and Kim had their dinner. Yes. So, Shorty that I was wrong with me. Why do I know that? The Obama office was right above that Wendy's. Okay. I know.

I know where. I would be in like the wildhood Wendy's waiting for. And surely how life together. She was like, I'm going to be president one day. I was like, yeah, yeah. I'll carry guns. But she was, and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe you come all the way from the Bronx to see me from

On a megabust, I was like, I'm just trying to fuck. Is she still in the pigeon now? No, like, she's, like, I don't even want to say her name because she's, like, very high up in politics and shit. But, like, she'd be looking at Dezomero, like, damn, I dodged a bullet. I thought humans. No, I would have tanked her career and shit.

I'm so glad that all my ex-girlfriends are failures, dog. Because I could, like, blatantly say their names and be like, yo, you can check her out of Riviera's Saturday night. You know what I'm saying? I feel back because some of my exes are trying to do things. Like shout out to my ex Kamala. Nick I fell for that.

I was like, what? I had a one of these with the clicky like, what's up? You fit. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's a wrap for part one. Come back next week for more D's and Miro on Questlove Supreme. Check them out Thursday nights on showtime. All right?

Yo, next week's going to be crazy. crazy. We'll see you then. Of course Love Supreme is a production of Iheart Radio. This classic episode was produced by the team at Pandora. For more podcasts from Iheart Radio, visit the Iheart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the signs of mental toughness, fitness,

and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side, a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWA% on the I-HartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I-Heart podcast, guaranteed human.