The Rachel Cruze Show - 5 Ways to Live a Financially Healthy Life

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

Are you living the life you wish you were? Or do you feel like your finances are holding you back from creating a life you love? There’s only one person who can turn things around for you: you!   It's time to put on your grown-up pants, make healthy changes, and take control of your money. In this episode of The Rachel Cruze Show, you’ll learn:   Five ways to improve your financial health right now How to improve your emotional health with help from Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Delony How the pandemic has impacted other people working the Ramsey Baby Steps Sponsors pay the producer of this show, The Lampo Group, LLC, advertising fees for mentioning their services or products during programming. Advertising fees are not based upon or otherwise tied to any product sale or business transacted between any consumer or sponsor. The following sponsors have paid for the programming you are viewing: — Zander Insurance   Zander Insurance Tuft and Needle Stay connected with John Delony Start your free trial of a Financial Peace Membership here Join my official Facebook community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The liking part of our brain and the wanting part of our brain are different. Relationship experts and our newest Ramsey personality, Dr. John Deloney. We forget that thoughts are automated too. Terming that is really big when it comes to tackling your money because the emotional part is huge. If we start with our thinking, then it makes the action so much easier to unravel. Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of the Rachel Cruz Show podcast. I am so glad that you're here. In today's episode, we're going to talk about five ways to improve your first.

financial health. That's right. Okay, no more putting this off. It is time to put your grown-up pants on and figure out how you can do better with your money and make healthy changes in the midst of this crazy pandemic we're in. So I cannot wait for you to hear today's episode. Here it is. Less than one in three Americans are considered financially healthy, and that's according to the Financial Health Network, who conducted a study late last year when the economy was booming and well before COVID-19 put many Americans' incomes at risk. And this is a great time for you guys to reevaluate your financial health and a good time to look into your mental health too. But first, I'm here with emotional wellness and relationship expert and our newest Ramsey personality, Dr. John Deloney.

John, thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Okay, so you're new to Ramsey Solutions. Yes. Welcome. So glad you're here. Thank you. It's great.

How's it been? I'm on TV now. That's pretty awesome. It's been good. Good. Good. Okay. So tell me a little bit about your story and what you're doing.

before you came here? I spent the last 15 or 16 years working at colleges and universities. And before that, I was a high school teacher and a metro school teacher. But the last, pretty much two decades, I've been working in crisis response. And when the wheels fall off of people's wagons,

then I'm there with them. And then I've done some crisis work with police departments and SWAT teams and just seeing behind the scenes when things get really hard for folks. Yeah, and their emotional and mental health is big. on your plate. And you've studied that. You have how many degrees? I have a PhD in education. I have a PhD in counseling. Yes. So you deal with people on all spectrums when it comes all over the place to their

emotional health. So that's exactly why I wanted him on today's episode because we're going to be talking about ways to become financially healthy. And I've been doing a lot of research the past year over the why's behind our spending habits. So the first step when it comes to improving your financial health is determine where you're starting from emotionally. So determining that is really, big when it comes to tackling your money. Because the emotional part is huge. I'm so glad you're saying that. Okay, so tell me, like, start from the beginning.

How do you feel like the way people grew up, money or not, just in general, how their backgrounds affect them today? The best way I've heard it explained is Brunee Brown says that genetics loads the gun and environment pulls the trigger. Everything about how we react, how we experience holidays, the way we get angry, the way we get sad that we're happy, the way we spend money, all that is a result of partly how we're wired, but often how we see and experience our parents, our friends, our cousins, our church community, those people around us. And so it paints the picture of what life looks like, and then we just

automatically live into that picture. And so much of those thoughts and actions and behaviors become automated. And it's wild, because for me, I'm like, you don't even realize it until you talk to a counselor or a psychologist. I mean, you really talk someone who studies this well, and it's like they can just like pull a thread and like you realize there's so many layers to us as humans and a lot of it does start with childhood. Well, remember when you moved in with your first roommate as a freshman in college, it's like,

whoa, that's not how you put clothes in the drawer and that's not how you brush your teeth, weirdo, right? And that's what this kind of the first collision that many of us have. Or if you move to a new home or you get a step sister or a stepbrother, that's when you start to realize, whoa, the way I did it isn't the right way.

It's just a different way, right? Yes, so good. Okay, so something you say that I love, is that the two things you can control are your thoughts and your actions. So when it comes to people, when people hear that, how do you help change habits and people to really believe that and see that that's true? Often what I see folks trying to change habits is they focus on a destination, like where they're going to go, a goal, and they start doubling down on their actions.

Like, I need to, I want to lose weight, so I'm going to work out, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. And we forget that thoughts are automated too. And so thoughts are things that just pop into our heads all day long, and they often skew towards protecting us from other things, right? So we often focus on, I need to work out, I need to do this, and you do this, we forget that. I ate one, I grabbed a colleague's donut.

Well, I'm out today, so I'm going to have seven burritos and four hot dogs. That's right. That's right. Or I bought that one latte on the way to work. I forgot. We talked about our budget. Well, forget it. I'm going to Amazon then, right?

And I'm just going to click a click. Right then in that moment. just stop and say, what is my brain trying to protect me from? And if you can catch yourself right before that action, right, when your automated thought goes and you catch yourself, then you can say, what am I trying to do? Right? And usually it's our brain trying to unconsciously protect us from pain of stress or pain of exhaustion or pain of my wife's asking me to do something yet again and we haven't, we're not on the same page

or pain of who I make the money in the house, who can tell me what to buy, right? And so it just catches you right there. So if you can stop right before. So good, because there is. There's so many things that we do subconsciously to protect us from that pain. Yes. So you've studied and researched habits. So what is like the top things you've heard in research,

which you've learned in your own life, to create these new habits versus, you know, or starting with controlling those actions, controlling those thoughts? So the last four or five years has been a lot of cool, hip new books out on habits, right? Big habits and little habits and atomic, all kinds of habits, right? I like to think of habits on a bigger picture. So I like to look at the addiction literature

and the choice theory literature and relationships and get a big picture. So here's a couple of things that when I think about changing habits, which is really changing automated thoughts and automated behaviors. The first thing is context is really important. So, for instance, if you and Winston

are going to get in a disagreement and you get in the same, every time you have a disagreement, you sit at the same seat at the table. When you sit at that table and you'll look at each other, you automatically get into, right? That's why sometimes if you go hiking

or you're on a road trip, you have these great deep conversations, same two people talking, same important things we're talking about, but the context has changed, right? So if we can get ourselves out of a context, that won't help change behaviors. The second thing is,

and this is really fun for a nerd, the liking part of our brain and the wanting part of our brain are different. And so I really like the idea of me with the six-pack abs, but my brain is saying, I want the gummy candy hit, the dopamine hit, right? Give me the pizza. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love the idea of being debt-free, but I want the dopamine hit of the retail therapy, right? And so we forget that, or we often don't know that those are two separate processes. And so if I can get to the wants, then it's different than the likes. The third thing is you can't break an addiction. You can't break a habit without a community. Often what you do is you end up trading one addictive behavior for another, right? So you have people that are credit card, credit card people, and then they get on the Dave Ramsey plan,

and then they become lunatic, right? Like, burn your, like they'll karate chop the credit card out of your hand, right? So when you have a community, they can hold you accountable, and they can be with you and walk alongside you. And when you stumble, they can pick you back up, and you lean on each other. I love that, and it's so good for your emotional health, to know all those things and to really, like, apply that to your life. So what advice, what encouragement do you have for people that have made bad mistakes in the past?

Money or not, right? just life. And there's a lot of shame with that. So when you see, when I think about emotional health, shame is like one of the top words. I feel like right now people are talking about. So people have that. They do have a lot of shame talk. They have a lot of shame and possibly from those past mistakes. So what advice do you have for them? So they paint you a picture. We're all born with a backpack. I've been a tall, handsome, super good looking guy. My whole, that was trying to be funny, but you didn't think. I was just like, have that self-confidence. Right. My parents are still married. I was raised in a Christian home. I was born in Texas,

which is one of the greatest places on earth to live, all these things. So I had very few bricks in my backpack when I was born. I had many friends who came from Brogan Holmes or from abject poverty or whose parents were immigrant. They had lots of challenges. They came into the game with bricks in their backpack. So fast forward to your question about shame

and making mistakes. Let's say that me and my wife sat down and we have a really deep conversation about being on a budget. And then she's late getting home one night and I think she's going to make me do bedtimes again for the fifth night in a row. She's doing this on purpose and I get frustrated and we don't have any candy in the house because I'm trying to eat healthy now.

And then I end up on Amazon and I click and I buy the thing, right? And so then I feel guilty. So think of guilt as I'm picking up a brick and it's heavy and it's uncomfortable. I should be picking up that brick because we made an agreement and I broke that agreement, okay? Shame is when I take that agreement and I put it in my own backpack and decide I'm just going to carry the sucker around. And so what I tell folks in this situation is put the bricks down. And some of us come, to go full circle, some of us come from families where part of our identity is carrying as many bricks as possible. That's how we show how tough we are and how hard things are for us.

And what I want to tell everybody is put your bricks down. Put them down. It's so good, John. I mean, seriously, on a range of levels, but I think it's so huge to start with where we are emotionally and grow from there. So thank you. Thanks for being on. All right, coming up next, let's talk about the next step in becoming financially healthy. Hey, moms, Rachel Cruz here.

Are you looking for a fun side hustle to help you pay down debt and build your emergency fund? Just Between Friends is a consignment marketplace that will help you find cash in your kids' closet. I sell my kids outgrown clothes, toys, and gear using consignment, and just between Friends makes it super simple. The average seller with JBF brings in $300 to $400 per sale. So go to JBFsale.com to get started and find cash in your closet today. That's jvfsale.com. Number two is tell your money where to go. What does that mean?

That means having a budget. Yes, I know you're not shocked by this. I were talking about it. But for real, you guys, you have got to live on a plan. You have to live intentionally. You're not going to just wake up at retirement and be like, oh, wow, I have millions of dollars. That was nice. No, it takes intentionality.

That's for the short term and for the long term, and your budget is monthly, your plan, monthly of where your money's going. Okay, so it's your income minus your expenses equals zero. That is a zero-based budget. Check out every dollar or budgeting app if you need some guidance. But for real, making sure that you are so, so, so purposeful with where every single dollar is going. That's how you're going to win in the long term. And the great thing about a budget is a budget does not limit your freedom.

A budget gives you freedom. It gives you permission to spend money on the things you, you value and what you want because it's your budget. It's not my budget. It's your budget. So you get to sit down and say, oh, I want this category up. And if you're married, your spouse has to agree and say, I agree with that up in that category. Then that's your budget. Like you do that. It ebbs and flows in your life. Okay. So I mentioned the spouse, but for real, if you're married, you guys sit down together, do a budget together. If you're single, find a friend who can hold you accountable and you can talk to about the budget. So this is what's really key. It's going to take some time. It takes 90 days to get your budget to work. if you've never done a budget. But it will be the first time in your life where you say, wow, I actually have control over my money and my money's not controlling me. Now, preparing for the unexpected

is another part of telling your money where to go. Now, for me, the item in my budget that gives me so much peace in that area is life insurance. Regardless where you are in the baby steps, you've got to make this a priority. Make sure that you have a policy that includes 10 to 12 times

your annual income and coverage. This will give you and your family so much peace of mind. and I, we use Zander Insurance because they make the process super simple, and you can tell that they really care about your family. Zander does all the work by shopping all the top companies to find the best rates and coverage based on your family's needs, and they'll walk you through the whole process, and even now, if I have a question, I just call them. Taking care of your family is a top priority. So making sure that you take this first step and go to zander.com or click the

link in the show notes to get started on a quote today. Number three is to start spending less than you earn. So it's normal to live it up and spend your whole entire paycheck, and that's what 78% of Americans do. They live paycheck to paycheck. And that is broke. That's normal. Normal is broke. So be different and know the difference between wants versus needs. Once you have your spending under control, then you need to. Number four, plan for your future. So I've been working with people for for 10 years on this, and I've seen so many of them succeed, but it's only those with a plan. And I'm telling you, a plan is going to do you so much better than just walking through life, hoping things are going to work. And that plan, I can tell you, is Financial Peace University.

Okay, this is the class that was started like three decades ago. Millions of people have gone through it. But what this does is it walks you through every part of your money that you need to know. And it gives you the plan. It gives you the steps, everything from budgeting, getting out of debt, investing, real estate, insurance, anything you need to know about money, it covers. And for the first time ever, because of the coronavirus and all the panic that's going on, we're actually offering a free trial of that class right now. And this gives you all the access to every material, all the tools that you need to take control of your money. And just learn, learn for the first time, sit at home and say, you know what, I'm actually going to watch something that's going to do

better for my future than Netflix, even though I love Netflix. But this is something that's actually going to change your life. It's going to change your family tree. So make sure that you check it out because there are millions of people that have gone through this class and it has helped them tremendously. But I don't want to be the only one telling you this. So in my Facebook community, so many people rode in talking about how this pandemic was actually kind of eased the panic of it because they had their financial world in order. So Alexa said for the first time, we have financial peace. We paid off $41,000 in debt and just finished our, our emergency fund before the virus hit.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, and we had no idea how my husband's paycheck would be affected. It's so comforting to know that we had money all ready to go if something bad happens. I'm also due with baby number two in July, and we've been using some of the stay-at-home orders as a way to get stricter with our budget so that we can save on hospital bills.

Our SUV brakes broke, and we had to replace our hot water heater all in the same week. We could pay for all of that in cash without even a second thought. So thankful for the work you and the rest of the Ramsey team does every day. Missy said, widow, single mom, work in the health field, so working 40 hours plus a week. Having my six-month emergency funds made me feel warm and safe. I've been able to pay it forward and shop small businesses during this uncertain time.

Julie said, I'm so thankful for our emergency funds. My husband was out of work for a month, but we were at peace financially. So far, we have not needed to touch it. In fact, we have been able to give generously during this time since we're on baby step seven. Marcia said, thank God for my emergency funds. I've had to dip into it multiple times since the pandemic. If it had not been there, I would be in credit card debts. I not only have been financially stable, but I have been able to be.

to help others during this time. One of my favorite packages to ever show up at my door is my Tufted Needle mattress. I've got a couple now, and seriously, I love this mattress. You guys know exactly how it is. When you're juggling all the demands of mom, wife, work, friend, etc., good sleep is a must, and I've never slept better. Tufted Needle is the best rated mattress on Amazon with over 100,000 five-star reviews. Try it out.

You can get a mattress starting as low as $3.99. Plus, it chips free. and you get to keep it for 100 nights risk-free. If I'm wrong, just send it back. Go to tn.com to get started. That's tn.com. You guys, isn't that crazy? I feel like anytime you heard someone talk about money,

it was like they were stressed out and freaked out because that's majority of Americans. But not every American, not these people, not these people who said, you know what? Two, three, four, ten years ago, they decided to actually take control of their money. And this is the payoff. Okay, when you made sacrifices to get out of debt

and you didn't go out to eat for two years, you didn't go on vacation. Like the times that it was really, really hard, this is the payoff where you have complete peace during a pandemic. Who knew we'd have a freaking pandemic? That was never part of the emergency when we talked about emergency fund

that you would need it. But that's what happens because life is going to happen. It's not if it's going to rain, it's when it's going to rain. So those of you out there that have won, congratulations, seriously, like this is why you did what you did.

But those of you that haven't done this, This is not to shame you by any means. I want this to be your wake-up call. I want this to be the moment that you say, you know what? The pandemic of 2020 was the time that I said, I'm done. I'm done being stressed. I'm done buying a bunch of stuff on debt.

I'm done living without a plan. I'm done. I'm actually going to take control of my money. You drew that line in the sand. And the great benefit of doing that is not only are you able to help your family, but you're able to be extremely generous. Did you hear that thread through all those posts?

Yes, they were being generous. which leads us to the final fifth step of being financially healthy, and that is to become a generous person. This foundation will change you in more ways than one, but the act of giving, it changes your relationship with money and everyone around you. Living generously with an open hand keeps your money in the proper perspective because it blesses you, but it also blesses everyone involved.

It will move you on the spectrum from being selfish to self-less. Plus, people who give are generally happier and less stressed because giving actually releases oxytocin in your brain. Yeah, it's like addicted, like a drug. So let me challenge you this month. Give 10% of your income away. Yeah, I'm serious. You can give to your local church, which is a tithe.

You can give it to a family member who's affected by the recent job loss. You can give it to wherever you want to give. But just give, okay, just try it. Generosity is a sign of someone who is working. towards true financial health. So to recap, there are five ways to become financially healthy. Number one, determine where you are starting from emotionally. Number two, tell your money where to go. Number three, start spending less than you earn. Number four, plan for the future. And number five, become a generous person. I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. And please let me know your two

takeaways in my official Facebook community. And thanks to Dr. John Deloney, love you. talking to him and make sure to subscribe to my show here on this podcast. Yes, the Rachel Crewe Show hit that subscribe button. And if the Spirit leads, you can leave a review. And remember, we have a video version of the show on YouTube and Facebook so you can check it out there. And as always, make sure to take control of your money and create a life you love. So if you guys enjoyed this podcast, we have more from the Ramsey Network, like the Ken Coleman show. According to a recent Gallup poll, nearly 70% of Americans are disenged. engaged at work. If you dread going into work every Monday morning and you're just trying to make it to the weekend,

the Ken Coleman show is for you. Everyone has a sweet spot. Your sweet spot is at the intersection of your greatest talent and greatest passion. We will help you discover what it is you were born to do and then will help you create a plan to make your dream job a reality. You matter and you have what it takes. Join the conversation on the Ken Coleman Show. To hear full episodes, just search Ken Coleman wherever you listen to podcast or go to Ken Coleman Show.com.