The Rachel Cruze Show - Are You Falling for These Everyday Money Traps?

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! Have you noticed that there are a million ways for your money to end up anywhere besides your bank account? That’s why today I’m revealing some common money traps and widely held money beliefs that aren’t doing you or your bank account any favors. In This Episode: ·      Why Stores Are Changing Their Return Policies ·      5 Signs Your Spouse Might Be Guilty of Financial Infidelity ·      6 Lies Culture Tells Us About Money Next Steps ·      💸 Learn to win with money by enrolling in Financial Peace University. ·      💒 Strengthen your marriage and finances together. Tickets are now on sale for the 2025 Money & Marriage Getaway! ·      🛡️ Connect with a RamseyTrusted pro today! Offers From Today’s Sponsors ·      🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries today! Listen to More From Ramsey Network 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 The EntreLeadership Podcast Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Budgeting means that you can't have any fun. I hear this all the time. People are like, oh, I don't want to budget. It feels like it's going to limit what I do with my money. It feels like you can't have any fun. You have to be cheap. But can I just tell you, a budget does not limit your freedom. A budget gives you freedom.

Hey, guys, welcome to this episode of the Rachel Cruz Show podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. So in this episode, we'll discuss signs that your spouse might be guilty of financial infidelity. Then we'll talk about six lies that called. tells us about money. But first, let's chat about why stores are changing their return policies. Take a listen. We all know that I am a natural spender. Yep, I love to spend and I love to shop. And one of my favorite things about shopping is the fact that you can return things. Okay, hear me out because we don't talk about this enough. One of the most underrated things about the retail industry

is the fact that returns and exchanges exist. Now, obviously, we should always be intentional about our spending and, you know, plan out our expenses. But on those days where maybe we slip up a little bit or have a little impulse purchase, we can always change our minds or make a return, right? Wrong. Oh, y'all, be ready for this? So apparently, our favorite stores are now cracking down on returns. Some companies are just changing the details of their policy, like limiting the amount of time that you can bring things back or marking certain items as, final sale. And some are actually charging people fees or even keeping a certain percentage of their

original payment for restocking costs. Oh, hurts my heart. But here we are. So today, I'm going to give you a friendly heads up. And be sure to let me know in the comments. If I've missed any of these sneaky return policy changes, let us know below so we can all figure this out together. All right, first, let's talk about why stores allow people to bring back merchandise in the first place. You've been around here for more than five minutes. You've probably heard me talk about the power of marketing, from bogo deals to reward programs. If it ever starts to feel like retailers are doing you a favor out of just the goodness of their hearts, you're probably falling for a marketing tactic. And at the end of the day, stores are businesses, so there is strategy behind everything that they do. And this is also the case when it comes to return policies that seem too good to be true. So to prove it to you, I a story about one of my coworkers who's a big fan of anthropology. She's so bougie, we know. Now, listen, for years, Anthro's return policy was one of the best in the game. You could literally bring back clothes without a tag that had clearly been worn and that aren't even in their system

anymore, and they would still give you your money back as long as you had proof of purchase. And one time, my coworker was turning a sweater that she had bought almost two years prior, and she point blank, ask the cashier, why do you let people do this? Like, this is insane. And the lady told her that they did research and found that people spend more money if they know they can return things far in the future. So instead of making the difficult cut in the fitting room thinking, oh my gosh, they want you to feel like you have the freedom to buy what you wants. And then you can reverse that decision later. She also said that when people return an item, they almost always turn back around and spend that original amount plus some there in the store. So for example, let's say that

you returned a $98 sweater. Well, the person is more likely to put $98. They just got back from that store into the store again. You know, it's like girl math. It's like, oh, here's a sweater. Oh my gosh, I just made $98. It's like free money. I mean, unbelievable. I'll just go to Anthroo and just keep shopping. So companies will do anything just to get you into their store because they know that they're going to come out ahead. But even Anthro has changed their return policy recently. Unbelievable. So this brings me to six return restrictions that you need to know about. Number one, shipping costs not refunded. So online shopping has been really popular the last couple of years. This is probably my favorite. I love just to browse online. You know, and you just buy something.

It's great. I did this the other day with some Walmart dresses I saw. But there's a trend that stores again, are feeling the cost of having to ship things to people and the delivery cost and everything, and they're not getting to keep the profits when you make all those returns. But if you're paying for shipping, make sure you are aware that you may not get back the cost of that shipping there if it doesn't work out, right? So you're spending that extra $7, $8, and if you go and just take everything back, well, you've lost that money. Number two, the restocking fee. So alongside with shipping costs, stores are now experiencing an increase of labor costs for all the workers they now need to handle all these returns from online sales. And it's a lot more work to process returns of large

quantities. So they're having to, again, pay people to be in the store to do that. And so that money is going to be back on the customer for them to pay as well. Number three, return fees. So 81% of retailers have implemented a pay-to-return policy in 2023. Y'all, that's a huge percentage. And again, if you're like me and online shopping is your go-to, always make sure you look at the store's policy when it comes to returning when you press order. So before you order it, again, make sure to read through that return policy. Number four, shortened return windows. I've experienced these because along with all the fees and stuff, some of those stores are now adjusting the window you're able to bring money back.

So if you've ever shopped at a local boutique, you probably noticed, you know, they give you 10 to 14 day, bring it back, and now bigger stores are implementing that too. And this is because for these smaller stores, these boutiques, they're small businesses, right? So they can't afford to absorb all the costs of all the return items all, you know, for the next two years. And also, they keep a very limited inventory. So if you bring something back, maybe a month later, they may not even have it in stock anymore. But now, know this, that this policy is filtering two larger stores like we talked about. So expect it. All right. Number five, store credit only. So if you think about that same small town boutique that we just talked about, well, chances are they also have a store credit policy.

So again, more and more companies are using this option to ensure that even if you change your mind on something, the money you originally paid them still gets to stay with them. So it's not a total loss for them. All right, number six, discounted items are final sales. So always make sure if you're shopping the sales section that you look because some stores will have it like on the tag, for instance, but they don't verbally have to say out loud that it is. a final sale. So make sure, again, you look at everything when you're buying, especially in person, to see, okay, is this a final sale or not? Because if it is, no returning for you. All right, the bottom line is this. Inflation isn't the only thing affecting our shopping lately. Yeah, just like you, I have to be intentional when it comes to our money. And again, companies,

they're having to do the same thing. And so to make sure that you're always prepared for the true cost of your shopping and spending, I highly recommend having a plan. And the best way to have a plan with your money every month is a budget. If you have not downloaded every dollar, make sure to do this. Go to every dollar.com slash Rachel and create your budget completely for free. And you guys, a budget gives you such peace of mind. It honestly makes all the shopping that we're talking about even more enjoyable because you know how much you have to spend. So do a budget if you haven't yet. So recently on the Ramsey show, we've gotten so many calls about financial infidelity. And what this can look like is everything from like a spouse hiding something or even

another spouse calling in and being like, I don't have access to our accounts and all of this. It's just crazy. Like the whole money and marriage thing can be so dysfunctional. That's why I hope that we can bring some function and healthiness to this topic. Now, this topic does come with a small disclaimer because I'm not here to make you paranoid about your spouse, that they're keeping secrets and all of this. And I'm not saying every single thing we talk about that you can pick it out and be like, oh my gosh, something bad is happening. So everyone take a deep breath. But with that being said, I want to go over a few, we'll say orange flags to look out for

when it comes to your spouse and financial infidelity. Now, they may be nothing, but they also could be good reason for maybe some conversations, you know, to maybe start communicating more directly with your spouse when it comes to this topic. and it never hurts to just get ahead on deeper issues in life, right? So we're going to talk about five warning signs that your spouse might be guilty of financial infidelity. All right, the first warning signs look out for is not having access to an account. So this is, again, several reasons that this is wrong, okay?

But this idea that your spouse can keep something like an account, and for some people, even their checking accounts they run their household with, separate and that you don't have access to it, okay? That is a major red flag because, in my opinion, marriage, you are one in every aspect of life. Like, there are no secrets, okay? And people may be like, oh, I got, Rachel, but no, have access to phones and computers and bank accounts. Like, you are one living this life together. So that is a very, very red flag for me to a point of financial abuse at some cases that your spouse won't let you see in. Or if you guys have your money separate and they're like, well, this is my money ever here and you don't need to look

at it, red flag for me. The second warning sign that there could be some financial infidelity is, again, if your spouse keeps pushing that they just want to keep things separate. And this is a common excuse that I hear a lot. And I hear for some women, like, well, I just want to have independence on my spending. I don't want him feeling like he can watch over every little thing I do. And then some guys are like, I don't want a nagging wife and I make this money and I get to say and do what I want. Like, whatever it is, okay? It's this idea of completely living separate. And So my question would be the why. Why is that? Now, maybe you're on a second marriage and the first marriage, you know, your spouse took everything financially, left you in a hole and there's a lot of

wounds and scars there. Totally understandable. You know, I do think there's a level of health that I would want you to work through to get to another conclusion there. But there are reasons people do this, right? So it doesn't mean that they're completely, you know, committing financial infidelity. But if there is this abstinence, I'm not going to give you a good reason of why I just want to keep things separate. I would definitely raise a flag. And let me just say, you don't lose your independence when you get married to a degree that you are still, you are still an individual. Even with therapy, I'm like, go do your individual work. Like, you're an individual person. But when it comes together of living life and running a household, though, that's where the team aspect I think is really important.

All right, the third warning sign that your spouse possibly could be committing financial infidelity is if you have to ask permission before you spend anything. So if you're a spouse, says, hey, I need you to tell me every little thing that you do with money and I need to see it, there's a little bit of a control issue there. Okay, so the way you can combat this is to have a budget and that each spouse has a line item, right? I have a line item. Winston has a line item. And I go and spend. I go and buy target skirts and I go and do what I want with that money, right? And that's not a bad thing. And if Winston wants that, no, and ask, I mean, I'm not hiding anything 100%, but we've already agreed on the amount of what we're spending. And so that, to me, is the important part of,

hey, this is where our money's going. Now, if they are hiding what they are buying, that's one thing I would be concerned about. Okay, why is that? But number two, if they need that much control over you, I think that there's a level of unhealth there that you have to tell them every little penny you've spent. I don't think that that's a point that is good. But I think, again, what bothers me is that you have to ask permission. It's like you're getting an allowance and it's like more of a parental relationship than a spousal relationship. So that's a red flag. The fourth warning sign is if you spot weird charges and your spouse gives you really vague explanations. Again, secrecy in marriage, not good. It's like a cancer. It's poisonous. It's toxic.

It will slowly eat away at the trust that you have within each other. And it's terrible. And so, again, if either one of you feels like you need to hide something from the other, that lack of honesty and transparency, it's a threat. And even if something is truly just innocent in the terms of infidelity, think about why you need to keep that Nordstrom's shopping spree, you know, away from your husband. Like, why? Ask that. Or, you know, if you're a guy and you go out and you, you know, buy some new electronic equipment or whatever it is, and you're like, oh, I can't tell her about that. Those are questions that I would say, why? Start digging into that. All right. The fifth warning sign is finding a bill or a statement from an account,

or card that you don't know about. Again, this is another example of that financial secrecy, because you both should be involved and have full access to your accounts, saving, investing, checking, you name it. And you should know about those accounts. So that's a big one. If there is a secret account, in my opinion, that is a red flag. That is financial infidelity. All right, here's the thing. I do not want to scare you, right? Or like convince you of what your relationship is when it's not that. Okay? So have some grace. I'm going to have some grace. I'm going to have this lady come up to me one time and she was like, oh my gosh, my husband totally hid all these purchases from me. And I was like, oh, no, like, what happened? And she literally was like,

well, he went to Chick-fil-A three times last week. He never told me and all this stuff. And I was like, there may be forgetfulness on one's spouse's end. Okay, so there's some grace here. I don't want to be legalistic about it. But here's the reality. Money continues to be a common conflict within marriage. So I want you to be on guard. I want you to stay ahead of miscommunication. And if mistrust starts to build up over the long run when it comes to money, it's going to steep out into other areas of your marriage. All right, I want to share with you my number one tip for married couples and what you need to do together when it comes to your money. And that is Financial Peace University. So this is our nine lesson course. And if you and your spouse have not taken this, sit down together and just like binge

the videos. Like be able to say, hey, we have done this together. We are on the same page. We are using the same language around money, the same plan. It's a really amazing thing. So do you ever feel like you're constantly just hearing what you should and shouldn't do with your money? Well, trust me, there is a lot of noises out there, a lot of messages. So that's why today I'm going to be debunking some money myths and just some straight up lies that our culture tells us when it comes to money. So I have six lies that I'm going to tell you about. I'm going to tell you the truth and also give you practical tips so that you can have control when it comes to your money. All right.

Lie number one. Budgeting means that you can't have any fun. Y'all, I hear this all the time. People are like, oh, I don't want to budget. It feels like it's, you know, going to limit what I do with my money. It feels like you can't have any fun. You have to be cheap. But can I just tell you, a budget does not limit your freedom. A budget gives you freedom. It gives you their permission to spend money. Okay. So listen, you go out to dinner and you're like, yeah, we're having a great, you know, date night. This is so fun. And knowing how much you're going to spend on Out to Eat Money that month, you're able to be like, okay, how much do you want to spend tonight on this dinner. And again, some people are like, oh, my God, that's so boring. Like, just yolo, go have fun. But what it really does is it takes away second-guessing. It takes away guilt spending because you have been intentional and you have a plan. So there's no more shame of like this uncertainty of, you know, waking up the next day and be like, oh, man, was that too much? I don't know. I don't know. If it's in the line of the budget,

then you can spend it. It's a really beautiful thing. Okay. So budgeting is one of the things that, again, for everybody I want you to do, a budget is your income for the month minus all of your expenses, including giving and saving, should equal zero. And the other thing is, you guys, your budget can change throughout the month. You can be like, oh, well, we're not doing this much in this category. We're going to lower here and up here. Like, you get to decide. And that's the beautiful thing is you have control over your money. All right, lie number two is that you have to have debt to survive. Okay, listen, debt is everywhere. It is normal. This is what everyone does. And the other thing is, is that everyone, according to statistics for the most part, is struggling

financially. Like, there is this correlation when you have debt, you have car payments and student loans, and you know, you're chasing these credit card points and paying off the bill or not every month. And it's all these payments going out. That is your hard income and your work, what you make from working, is going out to support all these other entities in life and not your own. Okay, so there is a freedom when it comes to getting paid and that money just staying in your account

and then you get to decide where that money goes. And usually, if you're wise, you're like, okay, we're going to spend some of that. We're going to give some of that. And we're going to save and invest. And then when you get to that point of investing, then your money starts making money on its own, which is a beautiful thing. And you're doing that for yourself and your family, not for banks and not for, you know, Toyota Motor Company over there. So it is an event. amazing place to be when you are debt-free, not only mathematically speaking, but also from the emotional side. When you don't owe anyone anything, it gives you more options. It's a really beautiful thing. Now, tactically, if you are in debt, you want to start paying it off. You want to

get a thousand-dollar emergency fund first, and then start paying your smallest debt off first. Pay minimum payments on everything. Don't get behind, but start attacking that smallest debt, which means you may be taking that budget that we talked about in Lye 1, cutting some things. out, it may mean taking on an extra side hustle for just a period of time just to get some extra cash flow in to get it paid off as quickly as possible. All right, line number three, I'll finally be happy when I can buy blank. And if you have said that, I have said that. Yes. It is a human cycle that we just like subconsciously believe where you're like, oh my gosh, I need, you know, those new jeans from Abercrombie this season. Those are so cute. Like that will complete my

life, you know, or, oh, my gosh, if I could just have this thing over here, oh, that would make me feel better, and that's just, I want that. Like, these, like, subconscious thoughts that we have when it comes to stuff is unbelievable. And then the problem is, is when we believe that that stuff is somehow going to complete us, that somehow we are not full and whole. And if I have this thing or wear that thing, live here, vacation there, suddenly I'm going to change. And that's just not the truth. You are who you are until you decide. change and that's self-work and that is doing stuff on the side has nothing to do with what you buy. And so there's a level of contentment that is so powerful. In fact, I think contentment is one of the most

powerful principles out there. Godliness with contentment is great gain is what scripture says. And that is true. You have such gain in life when you are content. There is so much more joy in life when you are content and you're not just in this rat race chasing, chasing, chasing the next thing. So it's a beautiful thing to master. It's more of a heart. issue there when it comes to contentment. But I think gratitude, humility, like different things really breed this level of contentment that helps you live your life in a more peaceful way. All right. Line number four, you don't need anyone in your money business. Oh, man. We are so American sometimes in our independence of like, I'm doing this on my own. I'm pulling myself up on

my bootstraps. Look what I did. I'm doing this. Like there's a beauty in independence for sure, right? I'm not discounting that. But I think we're also made and created to live life with other people. So when it comes to your money specifically, like, have people in your life that you talk about the subject with. Like, it's a beautiful thing to have people that will celebrate with you that will sit in the struggle when it's really hard and you're in a hard season. But having people in your life and not being isolated, I'm telling you, is a better way

to live. Now, if you're married on a tactical sense, that person is your partner, right? there is a level of working together that is very in tune, very together when it comes to finances. But if you're single, have someone in your life that knows everything, honestly, having somebody that you can say, hey, I want to make this big purchase, you know my numbers, is that smart, is that wise? And they may be like, you are second guessing yourself, yes, go and get it. You can afford it. Or they could be like, I don't know, this and this kind of make me a little nervous. What do you think about that? Like, just having somebody to talk through things with.

And I've even read in a recent book that a couple had like three other couples where they shared everything with these other couples too. So I'm like, you know, it can go as wide as you want on the vulnerability side of money and sharing it with people. But I just want to encourage you to have people in your life that you can talk to when it comes to money because we are not meant to do life alone. And part of not doing your money life alone is having an expert in your corner. Having somebody that does this stuff day in and day out is so crucial.

And when it comes to investing specifically, having a financial expert is really key. So if you're looking for a financial expert to help guide your financial journey, I really recommend connecting with a Ramsey trusted pro. I've added a link in the description so you can check that out and find one, interview a couple of them and just see, hey, who do you click with? But having a pro in your corner is really, really key. Lie number five is I'll start saving after I blink. I'll start saving after this vacation.

I'll start saving after Christmas. I'll start saving after the kids get back to school. Like, whatever it is, it's always this, I'm going to push it off later. Or maybe it's just this Yolo mentality completely where you're like, oh, I'm good. I'm just going to live life. I'll just worry about that later down the road.

Can I just tell you, like, life goes fast, okay? And later down the road in your late 30s, early 40s, late 40s, early 50s, like all of that time, it comes a lot faster than you expect. okay so i want you to have fun and want you to enjoy life but i also want you to be wise and be thinking about the future i promise you the future you will always be like dang it i wish i started earlier we hear that all the time and i don't want that regret to follow you but i do want you to be wise when it comes to saving the thousand dollar emergency fund is baby step one and the baby steps

this is a guide to help you when it comes to your money and a step-by-step plan so again that first thing is the emergency fund, get that $1,000 emergency fund, then pay off debt, like we talked about earlier, and then save up a three to six month emergency fund. That is like your savings, okay? You can have that in a high-yield savings account, a money market account, put that away, and then be saving really for your future when it comes to investing and invests 15% of your income into retirement after those first three steps are done, and that will get you on a path, but you want to make this a rhythm. When it comes to money, you always want to be giving, you always want to be saving and you always want to be spending and enjoying.

And those will look different, different percentages maybe throughout your life or throughout the season that you're in. But overall, saving needs to be part of your life. All right. And lie number six is, I don't have any money left to give. I hear this a lot. So as we just talked about, three things to do with money, give is one of those things. And when I talk to people, again, they go down the budget and they're like, I have no more money left to give. I don't know. And I'm like, oh, that's because you have your budget upside down.

Turn around. Okay. And this feels so counterintuitive to people when I encourage people to give. But if you are on a financial journey that you create the habits, you create the mindset that it's just all about you, or I would even go and say all about just your family, like when it's just so tunnel visions, right, there is something that you're missing in life. Because when that's your habit for a long time, and then maybe you start doing well with money, you start making more money, you start making more on investments or like whatever it is and you start actually building wealth, that tunnel vision continues to stay there. It really does. And I think the further along you get, the harder it is to break that. And what you miss out on when you're not giving is you miss out incorporating other people,

other areas of life into your life. And when you live with an open hands, there is a joy that comes beyond you, beyond even your immediate family, there is something there. When you have the perspective that money is there to be a tool to create a life that you love, part of that life that you love is giving because of the joy that comes with helping people. And it's not this, like, clogged up thing where it's so tunnel vision. I think there's a level of that when you are so focused on you for so long. There is a selfishness that occurs. It really does. And I think you can give in so many different ways, not just money, but I think money is one of the hardest. I really do. So time and money, those are hard, hard things to give away.

But I would encourage you to do it because I think it just enhances your life overall. So tactically, what I say about this is to give a little until you can give a lot. And 10% is always a great baseline to start with that may feel like too much for you starting out. And that's fine. It may feel like too little. I don't know. But have somewhere that you start. I challenge you to do that.

Start next month with your budget and say, for the first time, we're going to give something away and see what it does. you guys, there it is. We have uncovered some truth behind some big lies that we may hear every day, again, outwardly or maybe we feel it internally. But getting to this point where money is a tool to create a life you love is what I want for you. And I think you have the ability to make wise choices, not just following the crowd, but I want you to have peace and freedom when it comes to your money. So again, focusing on the truth, you guys, when it comes to your money is so, so crucial. Well, thanks so much for listening to this episode. So if you guys love this show, make sure to leave a review, subscribe, share it with your friends and your family.

It helps out the show so much because we want to get these truths out there to people. So thanks you guys so much for listening to this episode. And remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.