The Rachel Cruze Show - Avoid These 5 Money Conflicts in Your Marriage

Episode Date: December 12, 2025

❤️ Get your tickets to our Money & Marriage Getaway!   Money and marriage don’t have to be complicated! In this episode, I’m sharing five common money mistakes that could be hurting your relationship and how to fix them—so you and your spouse can win with money together. 🤝 Next Steps: 🎥 Watch my video: 3 Best Marriage Tips We’ve Ever Received 📈Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan.  💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!   Connect With Our Sponsors:   Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! Turn to Minno for kids shows you can trust. Use code RACHEL for $10 off an annual plan with a seven-day free trial.    Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show  💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Figuring out money within the context of marriage, it can be challenging, and I think it takes a lot of intentionality and care over time. So let me see if I can save you some trouble and give you five money conflicts or mistakes to avoid so that your marriage can thrive. And make sure to like, subscribe, and show this episode with a friend. All right, the first money mistake that a lot of people make that I want you to avoid is not sharing a bank account. Now listen, this is my number one area that I get hate for. People hate this so much. But listen, this is, to me, it's like a symbol of how you're viewing your marriage. And when you have separate accounts and he's doing his thing, paying these bills, you're paying these things and that bill and you're vimowing each other.

At that point, you're not an integrated part, emotionally, financially, spiritually, all the things. Like, there is something to be said when you choose to stand in front of your family and friends and say, I am choosing to get married to this person. That means you, are choosing not to live a single life, you are choosing to do life with another. And that means I have found when you can do that on a deep level, and again, that is emotionally, spiritually, everything, when you are a team and you see yourselves and trust your spouse and you can be so connected on all these elements of life, you have a deeper, more connected marriage. And money, that's not an exception. It is part of it. And the more you see each other as one, I think the

faster, you pay off debt, you build wealth, but also this level of knowing, like, I'm locking arms with this person and we're doing this life together as a household. So regardless of whose paycheck hits the account, if one of you works and one of you doesn't or one of you makes more and one of you doesn't, but it hits the same account under a household. What are we going to do as a household together? When we both have a say, we both have a vote, how are we going to take this money and further, you know, what we want to do in life, how we can be generous and help others and all the things. I think you just miss out a lot when you start to divide parts of your life and say, well, this part's mine and that's part's yours. Now, I will always say, if there is an addiction

that's not being addressed, if there is abuse, if there is something going on that you need your own money, a hundred percent. I took a call in the Rams show last week and told a woman, drive to the bank right now and take out half the money in your account, you and your husband's account, and put it over because he just got home from jail because she was being abused. It's horrible. So I'm like, you have to protect yourself in certain situations, and those are very real. But if those are not happening and you're just kind of the run in the middle of marriage, I'm telling you, when you say, hey, we are one in every aspect, gosh, it is so big.

And that includes even your checking account. All right. Mistake number two is hiding money. So this can look different, some small things, some big things, but the outcome is the same. So whether it's like a random account that you kind of keep over here and you don't want your spouse to see and you just kind of do your own thing. Maybe you have a secret credit card and you're like, okay, I just have this over here and I just kind of buy what I want and figure it out over here. Like whatever it is, even down to like, I know we laugh about it on Instagram and all of it of like, I'm going to hide

the Target bags because I don't want my husband to see. You know, all that, just like level of secrecy, again, some small, some bigger. It just can create problems. And I think there is something to be said about just true honesty. And if your husband has a problem with your target's shopping bag, then we probably need to talk about that. Like, are you spending too much? Does he need to loosen up and, like, not be a control-free? Like, I don't know. But then that ends up being a marriage issue. And that's what I love about when you are on the same page with money, things come up in life, and it actually reveals parts of your marriage that maybe you can work on to get a healthier whole or marriage. All right. Number three, not making big purchase decisions together. So,

again, big purchases, and that can be a different dollar amount depending on where you are financially. So again, have a dollar amount that you both say, hey, we're not going to spend more than X without talking to each other about it. And this is just helpful because things will come up in life. We're like, oh my gosh, like, you know, there's this thing that I want or we need, whatever that looks like. But when you can be on the same page again with bigger purchases, that is so helpful. Like the car commercials, which I know are commercials and it's TV and it's probably not even true of like someone going and buying a car for a spouse and the spouse not knowing like, we don't want that. No, no, no. If we're buying a car, we probably.

we both need a note together if we're buying a car. So remember, big purchases you need to do together. All right, before I share number four and number five, those mistakes, I do want to tell you about one of our sponsors, Delete Me. So those holiday promos can be great, but with every newsletter sign up and coupon code, you're giving your data away. And that personal info can easily end up with data brokers who sell it to spammers and scammers. And that is why I recommend Delete Me. The Delete Me privacy team digs through hundreds of those data broker sites to remove your data and keep it gone, which means fewer spammy texts and robocalls. And right now you can get 20% off at join deleteme.com slash Rachel with code Rachel at checkout.

So do it today. Again, that's join deleteme.com slash Rachel code Rachel. All right, the fourth mistake is thinking that your financial beliefs are the only way. So listen, there are some big value. use that you want to agree upon, just honestly to make life easier when it comes to money, meaning, like, we would like an emergency fund. Having some money saved seems like a great idea. Like, if both of you are on the same page, that's great. Because some people are like, I don't care. I don't need any money saved. And if that freaks you out, like, we need to know,

like, hey, saved money is smart. A debt, for instance, right? Like, maybe you're okay with, like, I don't care if we have this kind of debt or that kind of debt. And your spouse is the same, whatever. But if you want to live a debt-free life, that is a value system that you want to talk about. Giving, like all these things, right, the big things you want to be on the same page. But under those umbrellas, things can look a little different. So, like, Winston and I, we are different. And I do think spending money on a nice hotel is worth it. And he may look at the price tag.

I'm like, this is insane. We could be buying X, Y, and Z with that. And we're, you know, so we're going to have different ways of viewing life. but if I just stay in my lane of experiences and what I want when I spend all the way, I do miss out on another opinion, another way of maybe doing things. So it takes a level of humility, but in those details of how your spouse may view something or want to do something and you're the opposite, which is going to happen, when you can actually put yourself in their shoes and understand where they're coming from,

it does. It just creates this like cohesive, not only communication, but a sense of like, oh yeah, we are different and we can both celebrate each other's differences. And I actually may learn from you if I allow myself to be humbled and just say, hey, I'm curious what you think. And if your spouse does the same thing, like when Winston's like, you know what, that was good. That was a great trip, what she said to me recently. And I was like, I know. All right, number five is not being aligned on future goals. So where do you want to be? Now, I'll say this about goals. Winston and I sometimes are hit or miss depending on the year. Sometimes we have big goals that stretch over like three years or two years. And then once those big goals have

been accomplished, I have found in 16 years of marriage, like, we kind of take a break. If we have a year where we're like, oh, yeah, we're just, we're going to just be in the routine. Like, we don't have this big thing that we're chasing. And then after a while, you're like, okay, what is our next thing? So I think it's a natural part of the rhythm of life to say, okay, let's look forward. And so for Winston and I, it is. It's a fun thing that we do. We do a dream date every year where we just say, if money was off the table, what do we want? What do we want our life to look like? And so what that ends up being actually has been in the past for us were actual things that we implemented in our life. So whether it was building a house, we had that like 10 years ago. That was on our dream list, eventually a pool, certain trips with the kids that we're starting to want to check off the list. Things like that that you're like, okay, let's just dream big. And it may not happen in that calendar year or even the next two to three or four years. But at least there's something to be said of like, okay, we are working together. towards a collective goal where we're wanting our money to be.

And when you're on the same page with that, it just makes life more fun. I'll be honest, because if you're off doing this thing and he's off doing that thing and there's no alignment, like there's a part we're like, oh, yeah, you miss out. Like, it's fun to do things together, right? So, again, you're naturally going to have the things that you enjoy that your spouse might, but this bigger picture of goals overall getting together and working, you know, off the same sheet of paper, if you will, it is so, so helpful. So money and marriage, when you combine the two, again, it can be so difficult.

So we actually create an event. It's been a couple years old now with Dr. John Deloney and myself called Ramsey's Money and Marriage Get Away. And we have another one coming up. It is in February of 2026. And Dr. John Deloney and I, we spend all weekend with you and your spouse. And it is so fun. It usually starts on a Thursday night, all day, Friday, and Saturday. And this is one of my favorite events that we do.

There's just something about getting in a room full of like-minded people. not perfect people, and that's the other beautiful thing, is marriage is hard, it's messy, it can be exhausting, like, it's a lot, and it's really fun and exciting, right? So you get both ends, and so we get to talk about these things, these important parts of our marriage, and money obviously is a big part. So that's kind of the portion I take over the weekend, and John takes the marriage portion, and we just have a great time. So I'll put a link down below, see if you can get a spot before they're gone, because they usually sell out, but we'd love for you to join us in Nashville. Now, in the meantime, did you know that a while back I shared the three best marriage tips

my husband Winston and I have ever received? While I did a video on that, you can check it out right here, or if you're listening on podcasts, I will leave a link below. All right, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.