The Rachel Cruze Show - Classroom Parent vs. Venmo Parent? (Settling the Debate)

Starting point is 00:00:05 Hey, you guys. So today I'm going to be reacting to a TikTok where a mom is sharing her thoughts on being a Venmo mom instead of a classroom mom. And this topic really hits home if you have little ones. Since again, there's so much that affects your life and your money and your family. And if it does, which this topic is, takes all three of those into account, it is worth talking about. So I'm going to listen to what she says. And then I want to share some of my thoughts and kind of talk through some ways that you can show up for your kids and your budget and have that balance. And if you enjoy this conversation, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming episodes. All right, let's watch this TikTok.

Starting point is 00:00:46 I don't know about anyone else out there, but meet the teacher is super stressful because I do not want to be involved at all. I will make sure my kids obviously do their homework, get to school and time and stuff, but I don't want to be on PTO, PTA, room mom, team mom. I don't want to do any of that. And I started getting real stress when they start asking for volunteers. And I'm like, no, I know they're judging me because I'm not raising my hand. But I don't want to come in. I don't want to set up. If the room mom needs money for everyone to participate, fine.

Starting point is 00:01:19 I'll demo money right over. I do not want to be, I don't want to set up for it. I don't want to do it. So today was very stressful. But I successfully avoided all of that today, all of that. I avoided all of it. I didn't get asked one time to be a room mom, a team mom. I even told one of the coaches today that I am a Venmo mom.

Starting point is 00:01:45 Oh my gosh. That's funny. Okay. So my initial thoughts are anytime anything is just like massively extreme, I'm always a little bit like, okay, let's like simmer down. Like it could be polarizing, right? And so I'm sure people had strong reactions to that because she is on more of an extreme. Like I don't want anything to do with it. I will Venmo.

Starting point is 00:02:06 I don't want anything to do with it. Versus other people are like, oh, no, I want to be in every single thing that my kids are doing and I want to be as involved as possible. Oh my gosh, I'm here, here, here, right? And I think both ends, I don't know, I'm finding in life, like balance is really key. But I know different seasons are going to call for different things. And I have definitely been a been mom seasons for sure. Like, self-admittedly, never been a rude mom.

Starting point is 00:02:30 I haven't. But I've started to do more and more, which we'll talk about later in this video. But again, I can see how this probably ruffled some feathers for people. Now, before I say more, I actually wanted to do a poll of you guys to see, okay, you know, how do you identify? Are you more of a classroom mom or a Venmo mom? And 47% of you said classroom mom, so hands on. 53% said Venmo mom. Again, I'm happy to send money to support that way, but I'm not going to come in and do things.

Starting point is 00:03:00 So, I mean, that's pretty 50-50, which I don't know why I was shocked by that. thought they would be like one, you know, higher than the other. But, you know, I guess it makes sense. Which brings me to this point, can we just cancel mom guilt and mom shaming once and for all? Like, depending on what side of the aisle that people, you know, tend to lean towards, probably because of their season of life or their giftings, what they enjoy, don't beat up the other person for that. Like, it's crazy. And that's what so makes me so angry is that mom, it's like, oh, mom is expected to do X, Y, and Z. Again, on both ends. And it's like, listen, they're there are dads in the equation too, right?

Starting point is 00:03:36 And I know there's been seasons like where Winston has gone on field trips with the kids because I've had to work or like whatever it looks like, you know, there are things that are going to happen in life on both sides of the spectrum. So don't sit there and just like bicker at each other. Just loosen up, you guys, regardless of where you naturally stands. Because again, we all have different gifts and capabilities, and that's what makes the community work. And showing up for your kids, though, I think is a major win.

Starting point is 00:04:01 And that can look a lot of different ways. All right, here are four things to remember next time you catch yourself, maybe getting a little competitive with, like, you know, a different mom in your world, and you're like, oh, remember, number one, one is not better than the other, okay? So, like, on both ends, it's not that, like, one is getting it right and the other's not. And so that's what happens. I think sometimes we think how we behave and what we believe and what we want, everyone should be like that. And if they're not, they're somehow doing it wrong. And that's just not true. So, Me, for example, I've never been a room mom.

Starting point is 00:04:35 I'm not on PTO. I Venmo for sure. I will go in because my girls love it. And Charles does too. So I do it for him. If there are opportunities to volunteer and I'm able to plan it out, I will do that. And this is everything from like being a class reader or going in and, you know, helping the teacher do some stuff. So I do that a few times a year.

Starting point is 00:04:53 It's not a ton. But it's enough because my kids love when we show up for school. And they've asked me. Caroline has specifically asked me, Mom, will you please come and be the class reader one day? So there are things in that that you're like, okay, I'm going to do that because my kids are asking. And it's great. And I do want to be more involved and I enjoy it. And it's fine. Now, my sister, on the other hand, she is part of everything you can imagine at our kids' school. Our kids go to the same school, same elementary school. It's precious and so sweet. But sweet Denise, I mean, she is on PTO.

Starting point is 00:05:23 She does all the fundraising here. We had like a Friday fun night. And Denise, like, had the volunteer T-shirt because she's run in different stations. I mean, Denise is involved. We love her for that. She enjoys it too. She really does. Like, she loves it. So, again, I'm not better than her. She's not better than me.

Starting point is 00:05:41 It's all great. All right. Number two is to know what is actually helpful. So again, the idea of volunteering is to help out the teacher. I mean, that's going to be it. And so pay attention to what they need and do your best to pitch in. I did this thing for my fourth grader. And the teacher even told me, she's like, I'm probably giving you the worst thing to do.

Starting point is 00:05:59 And I'm so sorry. And it was just like this thing of dividing. out all the stuff. And I was really happy to do it, honestly, because I thought she's sitting here teaching all day to these kids and having to go home and not only grade papers, but do all this other stuff. Like, no, I can do this. So again, making sure that you are doing and serving how the teacher or the school needs it, I think is really, really key. Number three is not about the school. It's actually at home. And that is being present at home. That is the top priority. Okay, So regardless of whether you volunteer or your room mom or Venmo mom, like, regardless of where

Starting point is 00:06:35 you stand on all of this, being a present parent is really key. And that can look a lot of different ways. Again, sometimes it's volunteering. Sometimes it's sending money. But your relationship with your kids, that's what it's about. And being interested in them, knowing them, asking questions, being in tune with your kids is so important. And so many parents, I think, can even justify in this situation like, well, I don't.

Starting point is 00:06:58 do so much at their school, like, they'll know. Or are you kidding? Like, look how much we pay for over here. I mean, your kids don't, I mean, at the end of the day, they care about your relationship with them. And that is top priority, regardless of if you're a Venmo parent or a room parent, right? And number four is to check your identity because you want to make sure that you're doing either one of these out of a healthy place. Meaning, if you're on one extreme and you're serving down to the bone and you're doing it from an unhealthy place because you're wanting, you know, to, you want to and you know, you're doing it from a bad motivation, that can't be good for you long term. And then the other end, right? Sometimes I think even that video, I'm not saying this about her,

Starting point is 00:07:38 but sometimes there can be this like, well, I just send money and like, oh my, I don't like want to do anything with my kids. Like, you can start to be prideful on that end as well. So making sure your motivation is healthy, just knowing, hey, you know, I work full time. I'm not able to go and be at my kid's stuff. And I'm not going to feel bad about that. So I'm going to send money. Like, like, there's something about the motivation of that end as well that's really important to keep a lot. pulse on. So regardless of how you interact with your kids and their activities and their schooling and all of it, making sure that's coming from a healthy place. But when it comes to our kids overall, their character and who they're becoming is really key. Meg Meeker always says that you're not

Starting point is 00:08:12 just trying to raise good kids. You're raising kids to be good adults, right? So we want them to thrive in life. And that means the character of who they are is so key. And so generosity, contentment, learning to give and be generous and to share. Like all of this is so, so important. And that means. And so that's why I've written a couple of kids' books around these topics, because I think it is really, really key. Make sure to click the link below to check that out. And share this episode with anyone who needs some encouragement of all the mom expectations out there. We want to just flatten that, give some balance to the conversation. And if you think that this conversation is a little controversial, well, you haven't seen anything yet.

Starting point is 00:08:48 Check out my episode on my most hated financial advice, which is eating at home. Who knew? So I'll leave a link in the description as well. Remember you guys to take control of your money and create a life you love.

The Rachel Cruze Show - Classroom Parent vs. Venmo Parent? (Settling the Debate)

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