The Rachel Cruze Show - Escape the Toxic Thoughts Wrecking Your Life (With Judah Smith)

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan.   I’m extra excited for today’s episode because Pastor Judah Smith is joining us to talk about how our negative thoughts can affect all aspects of our lives—including money—and how to shift that mindset.    Next Steps:   🎥 Watch my video Why Less Really Is More—in Money, Faith and Beyond. 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 📕 Check out Judah’s new book with Dr. Les Parrott. ⛪️ Check out the Churchome app.   Connect With Our Sponsors:     Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle!   Explore More From Ramsey Network:   🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, today I am so excited because we have Pastor Judah Smith joining us to talk about how our negative thoughts can affect our lives entirely and how we can shift that mindset. So you're going to love this conversation. Make sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend. All right. Here's my conversation with Judah Smith. Judah, thanks so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Okay.

So I love all the work that you've been doing recently and with my friendless parrot too, which I love. I love them. And the fact that you guys have like combined on a project, I think, is. so exciting because our thoughts and what we believe about the world relationships ourselves, it does dictate a lot of how we live our lives. When we talk about money, we always say that personal finances, 80% behavior, 20% had knowledge. So it's like we could have all the knowledge in the world, but if we're not doing it and changing our habits, nothing's going to change. So I want to know from you, with all this stuff that you've been talking about with like bad

thoughts and all of it, how much do our thoughts determine our behaviors? A lot. Now I'm like, I wish Les was here. He would give a perfect scientific statistical answer to that. But it is so dramatic. And can I just say one of the things I love about all the work that you do is I don't know if we have an information problem. I don't know if we have a data problem. I don't know if we have, I think we have an application assimilation problem, right? Because the only thing that really matters is what you apply to your everyday like Thursday evening. Right. So I think what I'm passionate about when it comes to bad thoughts is helping people. really get to that assimilation point. Because the only thing you know is what you do and what you live. You can say you know this, that, and the other. But if it doesn't affect how you treat your fellow employee or how you treat the barista in the morning. And if I can just pick on Christians for a moment, like, mean Christians is an oxymoron. Like, what doesn't even make sense? People who say they have faith in Jesus and they walk in forgiveness, like we have got to start assimilating. And so when it comes to your thoughts, they shape your life.

Les says you are what you think. But here's the key. You don't have to believe everything you think. I think there's a lot of thoughtless living. In other words, there's thoughts you're not thinking about or questioning or challenging. And, of course, that can apply even to our resources and our finances. What thought do I need to get rid of, or more specifically, what thought do I need to replace? Yes.

Okay. So when you're saying all that, I'm like, yes and amen. Absolutely. But you have to be even conscious of your thoughts. So this kind of sounds crazy, but I heard this crazy stat that you, we live so much of our day even subconsciously, unconscious. Like, you're just kind of like, you're just kind of are just walking through, even when you're driving home, like sometimes it's terrible. But I look up and I'm like, oh, I'm home. I don't even remember.

I don't even remember. Yeah. So how much of that disengagement do people experience versus, like, no, people are actually thinking things and it's determining? Does that make sense? Yeah. Like, what does that look like in people's life? Well, and I think this is where less has helped me. By the way, the whole premise of the whole book is that I just never heard.

of a preacher and his shrink, you know, telling the dirty laundry. This is my dirty laundry. This is me and my therapist. Preaching for me became a practice of like the platform was huge. The preacher was a completed package and a finished product and he was like perfect or she was perfect. I wanted to be like, yo, like I am an absolute nightmare. Here's my therapist and here's him helping kind of challenge my thoughts. I think I'm an autopilot guy with the best of them. Yeah. And I think a lot of that is probably to survive, to exist, to get through. I think we're so inundated with data and information, resource, and headlines and everything. It's like, I don't know. I just got to zone out and I got to turn off. But what we're discovering and what less discovered is that even when you're on autopilot, there are, there's a premise, there's a thought, there's an idea that is guiding you. It could be, I just need to escape. Okay, wait a minute, that thought you just need to escape. What do you need to escape? What in your life do you need to escape? What do you hate so much that you want to just numb yourself or get out. So even autopilot, whether we're aware of it or not, there are very considerable thoughts and a direction that you're taking in your life. And of course,

everyone's like, sometimes it's like to just, you know, zone. But if you live zoned your whole life, you're not going to get where you want to go and become who you want to be. So we've got to even question even the times when we're zoned. But man, that's so weird when you get home and you can't remember driving home. That is a bizarre feeling, by the way. And that's been like, even recently, for me, being aware of what is going on inside of me. A thought that comes up and asking what, like, even physically, what that's doing to my body? My body's reacting to something. I'm like, wait, what is going on?

Because I can. I'm like, I can just, like, get through the day to do the checklist and, you know, just get through. But you live a richer life when you're aware of actually what's happening. And then to ask the question, why is that thought even there? So how do you determine what's like a bad thought, but yet discern, okay, God. has given me something here that feels negative or whatever, but actually where do I lean in to that? Does that make sense? Like what's the thoughts that we need to throw out, the shame talk,

or maybe that's it? Or is there any construction that we could use these thoughts for our lives to be better? And I think, to be honest, you answered the whole reason this book was my idea. Don't let, don't let Les tell you different. It was my idea. I was like, Les, we need to write. I wanted the title to be a preacher and a shrink, but that's okay. Bad thoughts is a little negative for me, because I like to be positive, but the bad thoughts is to get rid of them. That is kind of why I wrote this book, because I felt like there was a stigma, particularly in my tradition amongst preachers and church life. It's like a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a therapist. They like, you hate the science, right? That was like, oh, my, you hate God because you have a therapist.

Yes, that's right. Well, do I hate God because I brush my teeth and put on deodorant? You know, like I trust God with my B.O. So I think there's some practical things, which I so much love about your work and your dad's work. It's like, hey, there are some things that God wants you to do, you know, and enjoy and enjoy the partnership with God and doing. This book is me saying, okay, here's how I think you can distinguish. And I actually think there are some thoughts, even in the history of the church tradition, that we've just kind of allowed that need to be challenged and need to be questioned. For instance, this do good to get good that exists so much in our church tradition, which is like, God is like a football coach, and if you block well and you pass well and you score, he's going to love you.

He's like your football coach. Good news. God's not a high school football coach. He's not a football coach at all. He's a loving father who loves you unconditionally, and you can take your last guilt trip, which is one of the chapters. And so there's a lot that behind this book, my passion is to go. Here are the five most toxic thoughts. people, and by the way, we call them talk in the book because your thoughts work like a self-talk. Yes.

It's like you're talking to yourself. 100%. But how many times we tell ourselves like I'm a failure, God doesn't love me? This morning, I got up in my bathtub and had to remind myself again that God loves me because of who I am, not because of what I do in my performance. And that is me trying to live out, you know, not living by bad thoughts or thoughtless thoughts, but the thoughts that God thinks about me. So essentially what I'm saying is it's just.

trying to get kind of normal, natural, mundane thoughts and replace them with the thoughts that God thinks about you, which I think that, man, that gives you the potential to be the best version of you. It's so good. And you know what it does? It gives you permission to be like, hey, you have this thought. And you're not wrong for having the thought, but what we do with the thought, because I do think in some Christian circles or what I feel like I've heard, they're like, if you think that, you're saying, you have less faith in. Yeah. And you're just like, oh my God, you're human. So the humanity of what you're saying, I think is so helpful for people. Because if you put a faith package around it,

it does make you feel like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't be thinking this or that or that. And you're like, actually, be curious about what you're thinking about. And yeah, there probably are some things. Yeah, get that out of here. That's not good for you or anyone. But it brings the humanity to it, which I think is really important.

Really important. So within Christianity, let's just go American. Okay. Let's go Western. Let's go. What are we getting wrong that you see today? of like American Christian. We were just joking about being in the South, right?

And everyone's a Baptist. It's like everyone's just a Christian. It's amazing out here. It is. But for real, like, what do you, when you look at this and you're like, okay, we're in 2025 now, and maybe someone's curious about their spiritual walk. Maybe people are deep in it and they're doing Bible study every week and all things. But when you look around as a pastor, are you like, oh, man, we missed it.

Like that, like that is, that's not a great thing that we're in. We got to remove that because it's so 2025. It's so American. And it's probably a list. for you. I'm sure you see a lot. But a couple of things that you see. Maybe in it, yeah, with the book. I'll share, I'll first share, like, what I think my biggest hang up is, again, my premise in this book is, like, what if a preacher told on himself with his therapist, wouldn't that be refreshing? Yes. That's essentially what we're doing here. To try to let people know, guys, we're all nightmares. Like, we're all super embarrassed about stuff we do and think and say. So, like, let's all just level the playing field and get in a circle and just.

hug each other. I mean, this is ridiculous. And then I'll share what I think is kind of maybe the biggest challenge in general for all of us. But I have an obsession. I have an addiction, and it's a need to win and please people. And it's ironically what drove me into my life's work. I've been doing this for 30 plus years. I love when the light bulb comes on like you. I love helping people. I love connecting with people. I love people feeling like after they meet me like, dude, I can fly. Dude, that guy was awesome. That was so fun. That was amazing. Not knowing that I had develop thought patterns for many, many years. And what I was doing was oftentimes very selfish. It was very needy. And I was trying to fill a void. I was trying to please people. I lost things

like boundaries. The people I love the most suffered. All in the name of, in my tradition, ministry and helping people and serving people. Less was a big strength to me in helping me say no to people. Realizing that a no to people oftentimes means a yes to the people I live with, the people I love, my wife, my kids. Yeah. And so there was a real out of balance there. But I saw God, his plan for my life, kind of wrapped up into this idea that I've got to be available to everyone all the time. In the name of selflessness.

Yes. Like it's a good, like, right, the motive, the heart, the original root of it was so Christian. I am going to be such a servant. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It can be a little selfish and self-serving. And so he helped me process through that.

And then lastly, I would say I think all of us struggle with in general. role, this idea of receiving the unearned, unmerited love of God that is because of him, not because of us. And just sitting in that, absorbing that, accepting that no matter what you ever do or don't do, you are unequivocally eternally loved. All right. Well, when you are working the Ramsey plan, it's so important that you trust who is keeping to handle your money, which is why I love Fairwins. Fairwins isn't a bank. They're a credit union. which means they don't treat you like another account number. And since they're owned by their members,

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to open up your smart checking and savings bundle today. And my line of work, seeing lifestyle, like, all this access, it's like excess, you know, it's just, it's a lot. And so I'm always like, man, we are so, and I'm like an eagram three performer. I mean, like, I can dive into this like real deep. Like codependency, didn't think it was. Yeah. Thought I just was really great with people. I'm like, no, it's my therapist is like, that's called codependent.

I was like, oh, no. What? But I, yeah, but in America's, like, the applause comes from the success. The applause comes from performance. So when you do good, whether it's on the internet or not, we are inherently trained to where's the applause coming from? And in America, it is. It's the success.

It's the stuff you're winning, you're doing. And to break that completely in a spiritual way to say, like, that is not the God you serve. It almost feels impossible in America today. You know what I mean? Where I'm like, you look at other parts of the world and they embrace grief and tragedy and see it as. but it's such a different paradigm. But here it is like, it is wild. It is wild how innate it is and how deep-rooted it is for us.

And so for something to be on a completely flipped side spiritually, it's hard for people to get there. Even me, right? It is. I mean, Eugene Peterson, translate that one verse, learn the unforced rhythms of grace. And I think if anyone's watching and they're going, hey, I'm accomplishing a lot.

I'm really effective. I'm nailing it. I'm not in debt. My finances are clicking. Everything's great. My question would be, when you're alone by yourself, do you feel content? Do you feel at peace? Do you feel at ease? And what I have found oftentimes in all of our passion to accomplish, accomplishment is not inherently

wrong. Money's not inherently wrong. It's what you do with it, right? It's like, it can be. But do we look in the mirror and do we like the pace of our life? Do we have peace in our life? Do we like the person we've become? And I think the unforced rhythms of grace, having the baseline of your life that you are unequivocally and unconditionally loved by God, it slows you down, you smell a few more roses, you look at the birds, you have more eye contact, you can listen to the people that you love. And before you know it, yes, you're a highly effective person, but you're also living in a sustained way. And you start to really enjoy who you are. So I work with a lot of athletes and actors and artists that are super type A

and they're super driven, which I love. Sure. But the underbelly of that that we don't talk about is oftentimes they actually are, they can never rest. They're not fun to have a conversation with. They can't look at their spouse in the eye. They're not present. They're always thinking about the next thing. And so, you know, I would just caution all of us, including myself, like, man, and all of our passion to become the person we always dreamed of, let's not get there

and not like who we've become. And that, yeah, and when you, even for me, like, when you read the fruits of the spirit, I'm like, patience. Like, you look at it, though, and you're like, in the people that you, that I feel that, Like you feel their presence. They're usually like in their 70s and they are just not rushed in life. Do you know what I'm saying? And you're like, I crave that.

There is. I'm like there's a margin there. And that's why even financially when people are living paycheck to paycheck, there's no margin. There's no rest in that. There's no peace in that. And same with our time and our schedule. And I think same with how we're inside of our head. Right.

And if it's and if you're constantly either talking to yourself and these bad thoughts and or what's the next thing, what it, you know, you don't even have margin emotionally or mentally. There's none of it. And so Dr. John Deloney, he's a Ramsey personality, and he always says solve for peace. The decisions you make in life solve for peace because it does, it brings that rest to it. Another sponsor doing incredible work on your behalf is Christian Healthcare Ministries. More than a hundred million Americans carry medical debt, which shows traditional coverage often leaves people to face big bills alone. So families need more than just coverage.

They need community. And that's why I love Christian health care ministries. CHM is a budget-friendly faith-based alternative to health insurance, and they've paid over $12 billion in medical bills. Now, that is faith in action. With CHM, there are no networks, no insurance headaches, and programs start at just $98 a month. Y'all, CHM is where your faith and your finances agree. Go to CHministries.org slash budget to learn more today. All right, back to my conversation. So when people are, when they read the book and they're wanting to apply this, stuff, Judith, what is the result relationally for people when they look and they say,

okay, I'm going to start making choices, conscious choices of what's going on? Like, what are they going to see with the people around them? So here's a scenario that happens so much in the 25 years I've been married to the love of my life. She'll say on date night, for instance, hey, can we talk about something? And that, in the course of 25 years of our marriage, Rachel, it has so, I know we love this word, but it so triggered me. Sure, sure. The adrenaline pops.

You know, and what I'm doing, I did not know until we did this work. I did not know that what was happening is I was without knowing it, without taking, you know, inventory of my thoughts, I didn't have room for that. I didn't have space for that.

I was so inundated and overwhelmed with all that I was doing and all was building and all the people I was serving that when my wife needed to question or sit down and inquire, hey, are you okay? hey, you haven't been present. Hey, I was like, excuse me? Well, you know what?

You haven't either. And to be honestly, babe, I got, and I would turn it on her, which I think is called gaslighting. But, you know, like, so I think the promise that I'm making is the promise that I'm already reaping. And that is like, what if you could be the person? And I don't know if we're all going to be Mr. Miyagi, but like, and cut bonsai trees. But like, what if you could become the slowest, peaceful, most present, version of exactly who God made you to be. And I truly believe that if in some small way this project can contribute to that, I am a happy man because honestly challenging my thoughts, which is the

practice of slowing down to take inventory. That's right. That's right. A hundred percent. And that's what I love about the work. We've used Ramsey Solutions and Institute in our church for 155 years. But it really is also slowing down to question like, where's my money going? 100%. It just grows wings and flies. It's just slowing down to go, wait a minute, what am I paying off here? What am I doing? What's going on? And I think in the same spirit and heart, questioning your thoughts is the practice of slowing down. And I think what it can deliver is this version of you that you never thought possible. I think we're a lot of like. I could talk and talk and talk and talk and just go, go, go, go, go. But when I slow down to take inventory, I'll just say this. My wife's more in love with me. My kids respect me more. My friends feel like I'm more accessible and available. And it's like, oh, wait a minute. I think that's what I always wanted. And do you think the root of that is the true belief,

like deepest that we probably can't get up the side of heaven, but like the deepest of our souls knowing that we are loved by the creator? I do. Like, is it chicken or egg thing? Like, is it like getting there and living at that place? It kind of just like frees it up. Do you think that's like one of the, that's like, that's the main thing? I think it is as a kid.

We went to this little place in Bend, Oregon, called Blackbeaut Ranch. and there was this little spot where from the glacier water from the mountains, out of the ground, it seemed like, came this brilliant, bright, beautiful, ice-cold glacier water, and we could put our little bottles that we rode on our bikes and we'd fill up our bottles, and it was the best, freshest tasting water. It was like a geyser. And I think in your soul, there is a geyser. And if you can untap it, and it is, it's brilliant, it's beautiful, it's ice cold, it's refreshing.

it is the unconditional, unrelenting love of God that never stops. It always flows. He's always for you. He's always near. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. And I really mean it. If there was a better story, if there was a better romance, if there was better love, I would commit my life to preach that.

But there is nothing better than the love revealed to us in the person of Jesus. And it is, you cannot earn it. You cannot deserve it. You cannot warrant, but you can receive it. And I think every day just sitting in that for just a few minutes, even less would argue scientifically and research shows that it'll improve your life. Absolutely. Well, I love it.

Such a fan of it. I mean, seriously, I think it is so good. And from a kind of what you're laughing about earlier, but it's just true. I'm like, when there are tools in life around you, those are from God. Like, use those. So have someone in your life that understands literally how thoughts intersect. our brain, aka Les Parrot. Like, you don't even mean, like, use those people because God created the brain.

Like, he did all of this. This is his creation. And when you can tap into that side and parrot with God himself, I'm like, there's just something really beautiful there. And that's like literally the collision of this book, which I just love so much. Okay. So bad thoughts, you guys, it is out. And where can everyone find it?

I think on this place called Amazon. Yeah. I think it's there too, probably. It's a new app. Check it out, guys. It's awesome. So great. And where can everyone find everything that you're doing?

We have an app called Church Home. It looks like church own, but it's church like a home, church in your home. And the most awesome thing that we get to do is every single day there's a daily guided prayer. And for three to five minutes, Les will tell you you practice your faith and stillness. We want to help you. We're not selling anything. It's totally free. But you can go on there and do a daily guided prayer every day.

And I do it in my bathtub. This morning I led myself from the app, which is kind of weird. But usually it's Chelsea's really good at it my wife. But I'm passionate about that, helping people every day. And I do want to thank you, your family, everything you all do here. You really help people. In my line of work, Sunday's great. But unless you're helping somebody's Monday morning, it really is just rhetoric.

And it's just going through the motions. And I'm very, very grateful to you and your family for making Monday morning matter. And making Monday morning spiritual, too. And making practical things important. So thank you for that. And thanks for having me. Yeah. Thank you.

That was so kind. You guys, make sure check out bad thoughts. I'm a fan of both of the authors. In fact, they did one book together, like, for real. So legit. So check it out. All right, I hope you guys loved that conversation. But if you enjoyed this episode, then you're going to love why less is really more in money, faith and beyond.

You can watch right here. It's coming up next. Or I'll put a link down below for listening on podcasts. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.