The Rachel Cruze Show - Financial Red Flags in Dating (Never Settle on These!)

Starting point is 00:00:05 Money and relationships can feel like a gray area. But if Winston didn't exist and I was out there dating today, here are the financial habits or red flags that I would never compromise on. Be sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend. All right, before I get into the list, I do want to clarify, a lot of these non-negotiables are assuming that you're working the Ramsey plan. But the good news is, even if you're not working the Ramsey plan, it's basically common sense.

Starting point is 00:00:31 Like, I think it's, like, wise things that we're talking about on this show. So even if you're not doing step-by-step the baby steps, still stick around because I do think that there's levels of clarity that we all need and hopefully these red flags that I'm bringing forward, you can relate on. Here's the first financial habits that is a non-negotiable to me, that they're not willing to listen to you. People's experiences really do shape their values, right? The story that you have and that you've lived through, there are things about that that shape

Starting point is 00:01:01 what you really believe is important. And so if you have your money beliefs and your principles, other people are going to have theirs, too, which is so great. But if you guys can't go back and forth and listen and respectfully understand where the other person's at, then it's not worth the relationship. Because what will happen then is you start to stonewall and you guys start to live separate lives financially and especially if you get married and that's just a disaster. And so when you and your significant other can honestly sit down and say, hey, here's what I believe. here's why I believe this, and here are some things that are really true about me and money that I need to be true in my life, which means if this relationship goes any further, like, this has to be real for both of us, and we have to have this perspective together.

Starting point is 00:01:46 And it's really important. Now remember, you're both going to be individuals. So naturally, there's always going to be one who likes to spend more, one who wants to save more, right? So your personality doesn't change, but the value system at which you look through the lens of how you handle your money, that being as consistent as possible, is really, important. That's why you want a partner who's going to listen to you. All right, financial red flag number two, that they won't share anything about their personal finances. I don't like that. Now, I'm not saying on the first date, you guys are talking through like 401K numbers and all the

Starting point is 00:02:17 things. No, because actually that's probably a gross indicator of that person. And you're like, oh. But the idea of a relationship is going, the distance, right? That means that you are going to be sharing your lives together and you're going to want to know this person. in and out, right? Everything about who they are, because that's the person you're going to continue to do this relationship with. And if they will not open up about money, if they won't talk about it, and they're keeping it what feels very secretive or very private, that's a red flag for me. All right, the third financial red flag is that they refuse to combine money after marriage. So this is something that I mentioned, you know, in the first habit. But this is a really important

Starting point is 00:02:57 part of marriage, because what you're saying is that you are uniting your side. and your life to this other person once you're married. And that's every part of your life. And if you choose to keep one of those parts separate, you're going to start to feel that distance. And it ends up being like your financial roommates versus a married couple working together. And it's like, well, he pays that pill. I pay this bill and this is it. No. I mean, after a while, you start to see how that starts to erode, not only the communication around a really important subject, which is money in marriage, but also the way you make decisions. the way you talk about your fears and your dreams, you're not as united.

Starting point is 00:03:35 And so coming together in a marriage is going to be huge. Now, once you are married, combining finances is going to be really important. And Every Dollar is one of the best budgeting apps for households to use. And you and your spouse can both have the same login information. You're working out of the same account, which is fantastic, because you can see, tactically speaking, where your money's going. And so it really is a great tool for your marriage. So make sure to check out the Every Dollar app.

Starting point is 00:03:59 My fourth financial non-negotiable is if they aren't generous. So generosity shows someone's character and their spirit because usually very generous people have levels of compassion, levels of humility and kindness. There's something about someone who is a generous person that makes a really great spouse. And the same is true on the other end of the spectrum if they're not generous and not even just with money, but time, conversation, all of it, you're going to start to see who they are. And they may just think very fondly about themselves, and it's all about them. And that's what your marriage is going to be. And you don't want that. I mean, honestly, when you have someone who is naturally a giver and a server, that's going to be an incredible partner to have in life. And so generosity, it's literally part of the

Starting point is 00:04:44 baby steps. It's baby steps seven. And so it is this ultimate goal of living life where you have an open hand. And it's really a beautiful way to live. All right, before I share the rest of my non-negotiables, I do want to tell you about one of our amazing sponsors, delete me. So if you don't remove your personal data from the internet. It's basically like on a billboard for everyone to see. Your name, your address, your email, even your kids' names are out there on sketchy data broker websites. And those data brokers collect it, sell that data, and then that puts you at risk for scams and fraud. But the good news is, delete me, removes your data and helps protect you from fishing, harassment, and other online threats. Winston and I used to delete me, and it saves us so much time and worry. So you guys,

Starting point is 00:05:25 your family safety and financial security are way too important to leave exposed. So sign up for DeleteMe and Take Control. Go to join deleteme.com slash Rachel for 20% off, bringing your monthly cost to under $9 or just click the link in the description. All right, financial red flag at number five. They have a money-related addiction that they're not addressing. So obviously, all addictions need to be addressed 100%. But as we're looking at money, you want to be looking to see,

Starting point is 00:05:56 okay, is there something that's very, very unhealthy and, broken that they're continuing to medicate out of and they're not addressing it. That's the other thing is if they're addressing something and they see this, which we all have weaknesses, by the way, but if they're not self-aware enough and they don't understand it or they don't address it or they get really defensive, major red flag. And again, this could be anything from getting like unreasonably excited about financial, you know, quick hits of a day, like day trading. They're obsessed with sports betting, but they're drowning in debt. They're trying to like do crypto. They're trying to do all these things to get rich quick and like there's all this stuff that you're starting

Starting point is 00:06:31 to see and it's that frantic energy that's around probably worth a conversation and there's really a difference between that fun and social once a year like oh yeah we're going to do this have fun we're going to go to bagis you know have some fun maybe there's like a fantasy football participation once a year right like again i'm talking about legitimate things and patterns in their life with money that are not being addressed that's a red flag red flag number six i would never settle for that they are obsessed with status. So their goals have to be bigger than just a number in their bank accounts. Now, it's okay to prioritize financial peace and stability. I mean, that's what we talk about on the show all the time, 100%. But if that's all they're doing

Starting point is 00:07:16 and their life literally revolves around what they make and how much they can get and what they can buy and it's all of this constantly, I don't like that. Like there's a red flag to me there because it just shows the value at which they place all those things, and that's really, really high, which in the long term, that finish line is always going to move, and there's never going to be satisfaction, and they're never going to be content. And so that's a red flag.

Starting point is 00:07:39 All right, like I said, money and relationships, this can be a complicated duo. So you definitely want to check out my episode, the biggest mistakes newlyweds make in their first year. That's coming up. Or if you're listening on podcast, I'll put a link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you.

Starting point is 00:07:56 love.

The Rachel Cruze Show - Financial Red Flags in Dating (Never Settle on These!)

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