The Rachel Cruze Show - Habits to Save Money and Simplify Your Life

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Yes, you can create a life you love without keeping up with the Joneses. Contrary to popular opinion (and your Instagram feed), more stuff does not always equal more happiness. Today, I’ll share my best tips and habits to help you save money and keep things simple.   What you get in this episode:  ·      Should You Choose a Career vs. Children?  ·      Can You Be Minimal With Kids?  ·      Can You Have a Social Life Without Going Broke?    Helpful Resources:  ·      Carly Jean Los Angeles with code “Rachel” ·      Christian Healthcare Ministries  Sponsors pay the producer of this show, The Lampo Group, LLC, advertising fees for mentioning their services or products during programming. Advertising fees are not based upon or otherwise tied to any product sale or business transacted between any consumer or sponsor. The following sponsors have paid for the programming you are viewing: Christian Healthcare Ministries and Carly Jean Los Angeles. Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We were made for community and having friends these days seems to always come with expensive outings. So the question is, can you have a social life without going broke to invest in quality relationships without spending a dime? Hey guys, welcome to this episode of the Rachel Cruz Show podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. So in this episode, we're going to talk about some tough life decisions that really affect your finances and how to simplify them.

We'll talk about how to have a social life without going broke. Then we'll talk through if it's possible to be a minimalist with kids. But first, let's jump into a big question that people have today. Should you choose your career or children? Careers versus kids. Yep, it's a very hot button conversation that a lot of millennial parents are having because they're trying to figure out, okay, what is best for our family? having a stay-at-home parent or having two working parents.

And everyone seems of a very strong opinion about what they think is best. And I have found in life, having a very strong opinion usually either comes from your personal experience. But also I'm going to say this, I've learned in life. A very, very, very black and white mindset usually does not work for the course of all people, of all backgrounds, of all cultures, of all situations. So it's going to be a little gray, you guys, and that's just what I've found. And again, I understand people have deep convictions about this subject and maybe for good reason, which is awesome on both sides of it. But I think in this conversation, let's just have a lot of grace because I think going into that with a lot of humility is really important because a lot of factors play into this decision

of whether you're going to be a working parent or not. And there's a lot of families in situations out there that may not have the option right now to have a stay-at-home parents, whether there's a single parent out there that is working, or maybe you're in a financial situation where if one income leaves, you don't have enough money to pay the bills right now. So, again, depending on where you are, I see you and I hear you. So today, I kind of want to talk about the pros and cons of both of these options, and I will give you my number one money tip for stay-at-home and working parents. So this subject got me thinking because I have a lot of friends in the Seeds in Life who are having this conversation, have been having this conversation for a while. And then I was on the Ramsey show with my friend and co-host Ken Coleman.

And we talked about this subject because a listener called in and she asked if it would be unwise financially for her to be a stay-at-home mom. And immediately our response was, no, of course not. If you want to choose to go home and be a stay-at-home parent, that's incredible. Absolutely amazing. I mean, when you think about what it costs to outsource what a stay-at-home parent does, it's unreal, you guys. And again, if you add in, just for fun, someone to do laundry, someone to clean the house, someone to take care of the children, all the things, which I know you won't outsource all of that. But if you add up what a stay-at-home parent does, it comes out to be close to $200,000 a year. even some studies I've read it is way more than that. So I think it just proves that a state-home parent does a lot of work.

So the idea that it's going to be unwise somehow is so silly. Because you even just think about a nanny and what they make and they make way more at the minimum wage. And they should, right? So just that idea that caring for children and a household costs a lot of money, a lot of work. So someone choosing to do that role is great, okay? It's an amazing thing. So the fact that people have that ability and are choosing that ability, it's incredible.

So the other side of the question comes in, okay, is it worth it to have two working parents? And then you say, okay, I'm going to have daycare or the kids are going to be in school and I'm going to hire someone to help me do some of these other tasks. Well, that's going to depend. So, again, it's really gray in here. But I think talking through the subject is really important because every situation, is different, and every family's needs are really unique. So again, I have friends, and they both have law degrees. They're both lawyers. They're very incredibly gifted at what they do. They feel very

called to what they're doing. They feel it's very important to them, and they have a situation with their kids that's set up that's really great. Everyone's happening and functioning, and they're doing it. I'm like, that's awesome. And then I have a lot of friends, and we have one friend that has a stay-at-home dad, some friends that have stayed-at-home moms, and that works for them. And that's awesome. So again, I don't want to paint this black and white picture, but there's pros and cons financially, because we talk about finances on the show, to both, right? So if you're both working parents, obviously you're making two incomes.

And with that, that may mean you're choosing daycare and you are paying to outsource child care, but you may also have more margin to invest, maybe pay for kids private school, if that's what you choose, travel, extra-critical activities, like whatever that two-income household brings, you get the benefit of that, right? And so you have to decide, okay, is that worth it for me to stay in this? And again, if you feel called to your position, if you love your job and all of it, then yeah, it's working for you guys. But if you hate it and you're living a life, because I've met people like this, and you're working full-time, you're stressed out, both of you are in the grind, and you're exhausted and you hate your jobs,

but you make extra money, that extra money may not bring the peace and the happiness that you want, right? So, again, you're going to have to choose. And my friend, Dr. John Zolone, always says, choose your type of hard. Because life is just hard, right? On both, and it's such a heavy downer episode. I don't mean it to be, but it's hard when you're two working parents

and you're trying to juggle it all. It's hard when you're staying at home with kids all day. So, like, we all have our heart. And so what I don't want you to do is be afraid to lean in, though, of what's best for you and your family, whether it's financially or otherwise, because I want you guys not to be fearful of what other people are thinking, other people's opinions. You really have to put the blinders on and say, what is best for me, what is best for our family and our situation.

Because here's the deal, too, and it actually can give you a lot of hope, is you can change your mind. Yeah, you can. You can change your mind. you can say for this season, maybe we're both going to work, or for this season, someone's going to stay home with the kids. I mean, whatever it is, but you get to make decisions. Not everything has to be an absolute for 10, 30, 40 years down the road, right? So there's something really empowering about knowing that you have options.

I heard a therapist once say, not to say, like, I have to, I have to be in this job, or I have to be doing this. No, I'm choosing. I'm choosing this. And when you have choices, that gives you the ability to have power and say, okay, what am I choosing to do? Am I choosing to be in this job and us both working to live a certain lifestyle? We're choosing that, right? Or we're choosing to do this so we can put our kids through school.

Or I'm choosing to be home. Like, whatever it is, choices is what is huge. And I would tell you, too, to trust your gut with that. Trust your gut, your instinct of what you feel like is best for you and your family. and you and your spouse, if you're married, talking through this and making a decision, and it doesn't have to be a forever decision either. And I know it can be difficult. I've heard even women stay in the workplace, like it's hard to off-ramp, right? So I know there's challenges all around this. But again, I want you to have the ability to look and say, okay, what are my

options and what is my gut telling me? What is best for right now? Because I'm going to tell you, you're not going to regret chasing after what is important to you, whether that's being home or chasing after a career that you feel called to and are very passionate about. So you have to do what is best for you. Now, another thing you want to do when you're trying to decide, okay, should I be a stay-at-home parent right now is to do a mock budget because I get this a lot. A lot of people do the baby steps, you guys. They do the Ramsey plan so that someone can stay home. That is something we hear a lot. They're like we want to get out of debt and have an emergency fund so a parent can be home with the kids, which is awesome. So if you're going to be

doing that, if that looks like something, a choice you want to make down the road, do a mock budget and say, okay, instead of two incomes, what is one income? Like, let's budget that out and see, are we able to live on that? Is there stuff we need to cut in order to make that happen even sooner? So again, this kind of gives you a preview of where you're going to be financially. And I think it's really helpful because, as my friend, Dr. Johns Lonnie also says, facts are your friends. So keep in mind that this might be a decision just for a season, and that's okay. But if it makes sense for you and your spouse to be home with the kids, one of you guys, that's awesome. If it's a season of you both working, then that's great. But you have to lean in on what's best for you and

your family. All right, my number one money tip for any parent out there, whether you're working or your stay-at-home, is that you both, both parents need life insurance. And not just regular life insurance, you need term life insurance. Now, I know, it's probably not what a lot of people thought I would be bringing to this episode. But this is a really important part. of being an adult and being a parent. Because sometimes if there's a stay-at-home parents, again, they're not physically bringing in a paycheck, but you don't realize how much your family depends on that parent.

And if something happens to that parent, which is terrible to say, but you guys, it can happen, is to say, okay, I have to be able to outsource some of what they did. And you need money to be able to do that. Because, again, think about what all a parent does. That's home. They're a teacher, a nanny, a chef, a chauffeur,

a housekeeper, a tutor, a coach, a nurse, a therapist, a project manager. They are all these things. Okay, so my point, though, is you're going to have to probably hire help temporarily to offset everything that that parent did because of so much work that goes in to maintaining a household. So that is why you need proper insurance in place in case of a tragedy. And at Ramsey, we only recommend term life insurance, not whole life insurance, term life. It's extremely inexpensive and whole life always has an investing savings option, but we think that your insurance and your investing need to be separate. So you don't need to pay more to have that option. Have just term life insurance. And again, it's really inexpensive and it's amazing. So if you need to

switch your policy or you're just curious about it, I highly recommend Zander Insurance. Winston and I use them and they're phenomenal. Now I'll leave a link to their website in the description and they are the best and they'll get you covered in no time. Today we're going to be talking about a question that I've heard recently. Is it possible to be a minimalist with kids? Mm-hmm. Well, a lot of people don't think so, and I recently saw an article that made headlines when Marie Kondo has given up on tidying with three kids.

He says something like, Hearing Kondo admits that her home is messy, sparking joy for moms everywhere. And if you're like me, you know, you can't. kind of breathes a sigh of relief when you're like, okay, even her. Even the queen of simplifying and organizing her home struggles with decluttering when it comes to kids. So it's very validating. I really appreciated that. But especially if you have little ones, maintaining a minimal home is not an easy task. It seems like everywhere I look, there's a new toy from Chick-fil-A,

or the kids have made art projects, and they're all over the house, and it's just like there's stuff everywhere. And I don't want to be this like ruthless mom that just throws everything away because I want my house to be perfect all the time in perfect condition. But I also don't want to be a hoarder and have a bunch of crap all over a house that we don't need. So today I want to share with you a few practical ways that I have been incorporating minimalism into our life, even with kids. So my first tip is to set time aside on your calendar to declutter. So whether it's monthly or seasonally twice a year, whenever it is, block off time to go through the toy closets, the junk drawers, the pantry, the garage, kids drawers, everything.

Because let me just say, clutter can be filled up very quickly. If there is an empty space, it seems to get filled up. And if you get in the habit, though, of scheduling a time to kind of purge on a regular basis, it really does help. So here's the deal, though. You have to be strategic about this and make sure the kids are far away. because they will find a toy that they haven't played with or seen that is broken in four little pieces,

and they will cry tears of sadness because that is their favorite toy. And that is their favorite toy. Mom, why are you throwing that toy away? I'm like, you have not played with this toy forever, and it's broken. Oh my gosh, it drives me nuts. So, again, or an art project that's scribbled has happened to me. I threw it in the trash can in the kitchen.

Worst mistake ever, and Caroline gets out. She's like, I made this for you, Mom. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Okay, thank you. I'll stick it in this drawer and throw it away in my nightstick glittering. It's just scribbles, right? So I always, with like school projects and stuff, if it has a picture or a handprint, we keep it. That's the cute stuff that you look back and look how little your hand is.

Not always like the scribbles of stuff. So again, make sure the kids are gone. If you have to ask the grandparents to like have them, you know, for a little bit, or maybe they're at a birthday party and you tackle those junk drawers, whatever it is, make sure they are out of the house. But put this into practice, this idea of purging and looking through your stuff to see, okay, what can we get rid of?

Because, again, planning this on the front end and knowing what you're going to do is going to help you in the long run. So you don't get years on the road and think, what is all this stuff? All right, my second tip is to hide and rotate your kid's choice. So I've heard people do this. I think it's really, really smart,

but you get a bin and you say, hey, this bin, once it's filled up, it's done, like no more toys. And we kind of did this in our kids' room. I gave them like these big containers. I'm like, you can put whatever toys you want in here. But once it's filled up, it's filled up. Now again, I'll be honest, that was probably, I don't know, two years ago.

And there's other stuff in their rooms besides it's in that little bin. But the idea is great because, yeah, it keeps everything kind of in one place. And then I have heard of people actually switching out the bins. So, like, they'll have like four bins and they'll put one away and hide it. and then bring it back out, you know, three months later, and the kids are like, oh, gosh, I haven't seen that stuff. So whatever it is, the bin idea is really great. Now, obviously, we're not perfect when it comes to this,

and we tend to, like, go to big lots in the summer, get a bunch of cheap outdoor toys that we know we're probably going to throw away, but just, you know, makes it fun. So, like, I know it's not a perfect process to have everything in a perfect little position, but the more organized you can be, the more control you're going to feel, which is really wonderful.

So the bin idea is great. All right, my third tip is to invite your kids into the practice of generosity. So when you're going through their toys, obviously there's some stuff that's disgusting and gross and broken and you're going to throw it away. That's what it is. But there is some stuff that is still in good condition, but they're just not going to play with. And that's where donation comes into play.

So invite your kids into that and say, okay, what are some places that we can give some toys away? So whether it's churches or local daycares, children's hospitals, or even organizing. like Goodwill or the Salvation Army, like bring your kids into that process and figure out, okay, where could we give some toys away? Talk about, hey, there are other kids that can use these toys. If we're not using them, then let's have the opportunity to give some away. And then let them come in and actually be generous and pick out some things to give. So that giving muscle needs to be built in all of us, but especially when you can teach your kids

that, it's incredible. It's just a great teachable moment and a really sweet opportunity for you to hear from your kids of like, hey, where do I want to give? What do I want to give? And let them take initiative to. My fourth tip is to do a spending freeze. Right now, we are doing this in the cruise household till August 1st. So we talk about for your kids to learn work and that money is tied to work to put them on commission versus allowance. So when they work, they get paid. When they don't work, they don't get paid. And we implemented that system in our house. And, of course, they start earning money. And then when they learned that they could spend their money on toys, they went crazy.

I don't know why they're spenders. I don't know where they got that from, but they love to spend. And so it got to a point, you guys, it was driving as crazy. Like, I was like, we have created little materialistic kids. And they would have like $2 and like, can we go to the toy store? There's this like really nice toy store in our area. And it's great. It really is.

They have great stuff, but it's very expensive. and they were like, I want to buy this little slinky for $3. And I'm like, no. And at first I was like, you're going to learn the lesson. And things breaky. And now I just can't take it. And now I can't take it. So we were like, y'all, every time they earn money, they just wanted to go spend it.

Even though we're trying to teach them to give and save too. But they're still eight and six. And so we're having grace with them. But we just put a boundary. We're like, you guys, throughout the summer, we're not going to spend any of our money. And whatever money you save up, we will match you at the end of the summer. So that's our deal. Because the more money they have to spend, they can actually get a quality.

toy that will not break in two minutes after getting it. But the spending freeze works great. All right. My fifth tip is also to invest in experiences. So again, to help be a minimalist at the house and not bring in a bunch of stuff, spend your money with your kids on experiences. So I think this is an amazing thing. So whether you have a zoo nearby and you can get a membership for if you're here in Nashville, I even think about like Cheekwood or the Adventure Science Center, but a lot of places in cities have great membership. So look into putting money there versus buying stuff. And if you don't have room in your budget right now, then you can either create a sinking fund maybe or find other things that you can experience, you know, whether it's

like a water slide or maybe you have a great tree and you go to Home Depot and buy a rope and do a tire swing or get sidewalk chalk and like create something, right? Create an experience with your kids. And it's also really helpful. So if family members, or even asking for gifts for like birthdays or Christmas, maybe they buy a membership somewhere for an experience. All right, speaking of family members and gifts, my sixth tip is to communicate your boundaries and your desire when it comes to gift giving.

So I fully understand people's love language as gift giving and especially, you know, if they have the ability to and they have nieces and nephews and grandkids and they want to shower them with fun toys and all this stuff, I understand people love that. And it's great. But if you're trying to create something in your home that may be different than filling up your house with a bunch of toys, then maybe a conversation needs to happen. I always make fun of my parents about this one because my sister had her first William.

He's 10 now. So this happened like a decade ago. But his first Christmas, my sister asked for a Fisher Prize swing. You know, like one of those little yellow swings. You'll like hang on a tree. when mom and dad, they opened up a little box, and there was a play set magazine. They were like, Merry Christmas, which again, unbelievable, so generous, so nice. Denise was like, we just want to swing.

Like, we were just, we don't have room for all of this right now. Like, what? And of course, I don't have kids at that point. I was like, do I get that? Kids later when I have kids. But we just laughed. And ever since then, it was great because that Christmas, they overwhelmed sweet little William, who was like four months old with balls and like all this stuff that I four month old

who can barely hold up his head could never play with. So again, very grateful, but also like, okay, let's be realistic about our life and let's be realistic about what we want to teach our kids. So again, express gratitude to the people giving gifts, but just say, hey, here's what we're like talking about as a family. How do you think, you know, maybe you can be in on this? versus like completely like negating everything. But also I'm going to say this to you guys, like give some grace to, right? I mean, if it's a birthday or something, like there are times to celebrate too, right? So we want to be balanced and all this.

We want to be crazy one side or the other. I knew a family that instead of birthday gifts, they ask for donations to the pet shelter, which is really sweet. But I'm like, my eight-year-old would be so sad because she'd be like, what's my birthday? So, again, it's whatever you feel like is best for you and your family, but just be balanced in it. But there is a way to control the craziness of materialism in our world and to teach our kids a level of stability. So trying to simplify your life with kids can be a challenge. But if you're intentional, if you have a process in place, you can do this.

It feels like every time I look at my phone, I see the next Instagram-worthy restaurant or activity or vacation. So let's be honest, humans are social creatures. We were made to be in community and be in friendship and do life with people. Like that is what we were created for. Now, I know some of you are more introverted. So you're like, I'm sorry, what? But we all were. We're made for community. And having friends these days seems to always come with expensive outings. Like, hey, let's go out to dinner, or let's go to this thing or that thing. So the question is, can you have a social life without going broke? and I really do believe you could have great friendships and community without the high price of everything going on, right? So today I want to share with you eight intentional things that you can do to invest in quality relationships without spending a dime. And hopefully you can try out a few

of these ideas and really stay connected to people in your life without wrecking your budget. So the first thing you can do to be a thoughtful friend without spending a dime is to write a handwritten note and even send it. Yep. So I'm not just talking about your thank you for the birthday gift kind of card. Now I'm talking about actually spending time and writing letters to people that you love. Now, this is like an old timey thing, it feels like. But if you get a letter in the mail, still, the little kid inside of us still is like, oh my gosh, what? And just say, hey, I'm thinking about you. Here's the things that I appreciate about you, that I love about you. And again, this could be to anyone. This could be to a relative, to a friend, it could be to a high school teacher maybe that

you knew. I mean, it could be to someone years ago that you've thought of, but actually bringing joy to someone's life and writing down the things that you appreciate about them as a way to really build community, fill up your cup, fill up their cup, and not pay for anything. Another affordable way to be social is by offering your time to those in your community. So maybe you run an errand for a friend that's really busy, or maybe offer you. Or maybe offer you, to help move a friend. That's always kind of a joke is like, oh my gosh, who's going to help us move

or I don't want to help someone move? But actually, like, pitch in and do it. Be willing to be the hands and feet for someone else in day-to-day tasks, and that really can be an incredible thing. You can bring a lot of joy to someone. And practicing acts of service is more fun when you witness it

being a blessing to someone else. So that's a way to serve and love the people in your life. The third way that you can invest in deep friendships without going broke is being an active listener. So it's easy to make people feel loved by maybe buying something for them or whatever it is. But listen, also, when you are just an active listener and simply ask questions and listen to

people's answers and have a relationship with someone, that brings a whole lot more joy to someone's life than stuff. So asking someone just to come over and hang out isn't boring. You actually are going to catch up on life and be together and it's free. The fourth thing that you can do is just do life with people. This is all over social media. It's kind of become a cliche. But for real, when you do communal living, it's an incredible thing.

So if you have to run errands, run errands with somebody. Because so much of life is thinking about you, right? Your kids, your needs, your yard, your home. But when you ask your friends to be like, hey, no, let's run errands together. Let's make breakfast together with the kids and have a cup of coffee. Let's, you know, have cousins over and play in the backyard and the adults, you know, enjoy a glass of wine or something. Like, when you do stuff, you know, whether it's grocery shopping or cleaning your house, whatever it is, but you're doing it with people because they need to do the same thing. It's incredible that taking a mundane moment with other people gives you such life.

The fifth thing you can do to stay connected is actually pray for people. So this one may not technically be a social event, but it is a discipline that is very selfless, and you're just being very aware of other people and other people's needs. And I don't know about you, but I do feel so loved when friends and family just say, hey, I'm praying for you. I was thinking about you the other day. I was praying for you. Like, when you say that's somebody, for me at least, it just means that someone cares.

And it brings people together. So pray for your community, pray for the people in your community, and let them know next time you see this. Right, my sixth tip for keeping your social life affordable is to invite a group of friends to go on a walk. So cardio is like not my favorite thing in the world, but I went with a neighbor the other morning and we went around. I mean, it was for 45 minutes and we just talked. We're talking about schools and the kids and everything and it was just so good. And I got done and I was like, oh my gosh, I feel great.

Like that felt really good. And I enjoyed time with her. And you know what? It was free. So if you have, you know, a great neighborhood, a people you know, like send out a big text. I'm like, hey, everyone, let's meet after dinner this summer and, you know, just take a walk.

I mean, I think it's awesome. So, again, it might be kind of hot, but I think just getting out of the house with your friends, especially if your friends have kids and your kids get to all spend time together, it's a really beautiful thing. And it's free. All right, speaking of just getting out of my house,

my seventh idea for staying social on a budget is a good old-fashioned pool day. So I don't know about you. but if you know anyone with an access to a pool, I would mooch. That's right. For real, though, this is so easy to do. You can fill up a cooler, you know, with some drinks or sandwiches and food and just enjoy timeout with the friends. Like, it's really simple. So whether it's a neighborhood pool or maybe something who knows a pool, get everyone together. And finally is to do a joint yard sale together. Bring back the yard sales. Okay. We're all dependent upon Facebook marketplace and all this.

when you do a good old fashion yard sale with a friend or two, you can make some money, actually, instead of spending it by doing it. And it's really fun. And just to declutter your house, get rid of stuff you don't need, join forces with people around you, make a little cash and have some fun. Because there is truly a season for everything. And if you're hyper-focused on saving money right now,

maybe you're getting out of debt or you're saving up your emergency funds, you're not going to have a ton of margin. So find ways to still plug in and not be able to. isolated during the season. And also, don't miss an opportunity to give your friends some grace if they're in the middle of a tight season themselves. So if you want a little help with budget boundaries or navigating friendships and money, grab a copy of my book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money. This has a ton of tips in there because we talk about relationships and money a lot. You guys, I want you to have fun in your social life and also win with money. So it's possible.

You can see that. It doesn't have to be expensive to be a great friend. All right, you guys, make sure to share this episode with a friend who may be struggling with being a stay-at-home parent or think that they can't be a good friend without spending money. We talked to a lot on this episode about this stuff. So make sure to spread the word. And if you have not left a review on this podcast, it is so helpful. So please, please do that. Again, it helps with the algorithm. And we just love to hear from you guys.

All right, make sure to subscribe as well if you have not. and I just want to thank you guys so much for listening to today's episode. And remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.