The Rachel Cruze Show - How to Build the Life You Want

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

The whole point of taking control of your money is to create a life you love, and that’s the focus of this episode. You’ll learn: How to transform your finances with some 30-minute money habits Five key practices to create a life you love with guest Emily Ley Whether or not you should tithe when you’re in debt Resources: Zander Insurance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen, stop playing the game. Just save up and pay for it. That's it. Have a debit card. That's all. It's a deal with everything else going on. Like, make it simple. It's, again, it's a game. I'm just, I'm just so done with playing and I just see how it affects people. I'm like, nope, not going to do it. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Rachel Crewe Show podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. And I'm really excited about this episode because we're going to talk about what steps you can take to truly create a life you love. You're going to hear a conversation I had with Emily Lay, who's like the nicest person in the entire world, about how to avoid believing the lies that say we can't create a life we love and what to do about those lies. I'll also be chatting with Paula in this segment of Ask Rachel,

and we're going to talk about whether she should be tithing while going through the baby steps. But first, let's talk about some of the 30-minute habits you can start implementing today that's going to have a huge impact for your financial future. future. You can start taking really small steps now to win with your money in the long term. So take a listen. It's the little things in life that really can affect change and transformation into the big thing. So some stuff you may look at in your budget, like, oh yeah, but it's just like 20 bucks here or there. But over the long call, not only does that change you financially, because that 20, 25, 30 bucks can actually build into something great, but also it's just the idea of the

habit of saying, okay, I'm not going to waste that amount of money and that habit plays into everything else. So it's amazing. Again, the little things that happen, even when you create a budget for the first time, it's actually kind of a bigger thing, but it says, okay, I'm actually going to do this and live on it, and it just changes your life for the better. So those little things I think are really important. So today I want to dig into 11 simple money habits that can transform your finances in 30 minutes or less. And just notes, a couple of these are just small pieces of the Ramsey Baby Step. So if you don't know what those are, you can go over to Ramsey Solutions.com and learn all about it. The financial plan that's going to get you in control of your money.

All right, first up is open a high yield savings account or money market accounts. So you can do this at a local bank. You can do this online. There's some great online banks out there as well. So this is where I want you to keep your emergency fund. So with the Baby Steps, so Baby Step 1 is your $1,000 emergency fund. And once you're completely out of debt, everything but your house, you're going to bump that up to three to six months worth of expenses. So that's a good amount of cash that you're going to have. And I want that cash to be accessible because if something happens, a.k. an emergency, you can get to it. So this is not an investment. You're not going to put this money in the market and make money off of it. That's not what it's there for. It's more

there for insurance. But if it's going to sit somewhere to get to it easily, might as well make a little bit more money if you can. I mean, it's not going to anything crazy. But it's really easy to go online again or your local bank, find the savings account or a money market account that gets you a little bit of higher return and put your money there. It's that easy. All right, next is research your salary range. You can go to payscale.com and enter details about your job, your experience, your location, your education, some more information about you. And they can give you a detailed free report on how much money people just like you in your area are making in their And this is really important because sometimes, you know, if you're in the same job,

especially for over a long period of time, you probably just have the same. And maybe you get a little raise here or there. But maybe the industry you're in has like major demand. And people are making a whole lot more that are in your field. And if you can just pull it up, could just take it to your leader at work and say, hey, I'm seeing this. What do you think? And maybe you'll be able to negotiate your salary and get a raise. Because remember, money flows two ways. Money flows in. Money flows out. We want to look at both of those into the spectrum, but the money coming in, some great way to make money is if your industry is in demand so you can say, hey, I can get a raise. It's nice. It's good. Bump up that income. Next is create a budget.

So I always teach people to do a zero-based budget. This is your income minus your expenses, including giving and saving, equals zero. So every dollar coming in is assigned to a category. It really is the most effective way to budget because you can change the categories if you need to. If your priority is saving, you know, maybe you're saving up for baby step one or three, you're going to have more in saving. Or if you're in baby step two, you're going to want to change some of your categories where you're cutting things out and putting stuff towards debt. It really fluctuates and is created around where you are in your financial journey. Now, if you've not downloaded every dollar, it's an amazing budgeting app.

It's within Ramsey Plus. And it really helps you do this. It makes it simple. it makes it easy. So again, budgeting can be hard at first. It's going to take about 90 days to get it down, but you can create a budget in 30 minutes or less. If you live on it, you guys, it will change your life forever. It's one of the questions I get from people a lot is, what's the biggest mistake people make with their money? And I always say it's that they're not intentional. They live their life, just paycheck to paycheck, and they never say, okay, no, I'm going to be actually intentional with where my money's going.

It is so key, so key when it comes to controlling your money. So the budget, I recommend it. Next is adopt the 24-hour rule. So this is where you say I'm going to wait 24 hours before making a purchase over X amount of dollars. If you're married, you guys need to agree on this amount. So you have it in place, and this is great because it can be easy to have that little instant gratification.

You see something you like, you're like, I'm just going to buy it. But if it's over a certain amount, it's like, okay, You know, if it's toothpaste, it's $3, $4, $4, you're like, probably any toothpaste, just can buy it. But if it's something a little bit more expensive, it's getting up there, you're like, okay, do I really need it right now? I don't know, I don't know, I just want it right now, I don't know, this is what I say in my head. I kind of want it, I kind of want it, shall wait, I don't know. Just take a break, just close, shut the app down, turn off the phone, put the computer down, walk away for 24 hours. And you come back the next day, all the emotions have died down, and you can say, okay, I have the money for it, and I still want it.

I'm in a good place. I can buy it. That's great. 24-hour rule. It will save you money and heartache, I promise you. Next is get a term life insurance quote. Now, term life insurance is very, very important to have. And getting a quote is so easy with Zander insurance. It takes way less than 30 minutes, actually. All you do is plug in your info, and Zander shops around and find you the best rate for you and your family. They make it really easy, really convenient and affordable to protect you.

you and your loved ones. So go to zander.com to get your free quote. And again, having life insurance is so key, you guys, you never know what's going to happen. And so if you have people dependent upon your income, whether that's kids, family members, whatever it is, that if something happens to you and your income goes away and someone needs that money, that means you need life insurance. And term life, it's the way to go. Next is check your credit report. You need to do this once a year. And you can actually do it for free in three different places. Three to three different companies provide this. So Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion. And you want to do this. So you want to log into these websites. You know, these companies help you do it. You can just do one. You can do all three. But you want

to pull your credit report. Even if you are out of debt and you're not in debt, you're thinking, why do I need that? Well, your credit report shows you if your identity's been stolen, things have been on your credit report. And you think, mm-mm, that's not me. That's not me. I don't know that is, that's not me. It gives you a red flag there. Sometimes things on your credit report are wrong, and so you need to change them. So you just need to be really in the habit of saying you're going to check it every single year because they will save you in the long run if you can catch these mistakes early. Next up is listing out all of your debts. So pretty easy to do, but very scary to do for some of you because you're thinking, ah, the denial just kind of feels good. Yeah, I know I have

some credit card debt out there. My student loan, it's floating around, I pay on it every now and then. You know, I don't know. I just, I don't want to know. It feels better not to know. Don't live like that anymore. Say, no, I'm actually going to control what's going on. And in order to pay off your debt, you need to know how much debt you have. So, collect all the information you can and then list out your debts smallest to largest. Because I will tell you, in your head, it's a whole lot scarier than probably what's going to be on paper. because it's almost that anticipation. Do you ever feel like that? Like, I get anxious for things, anticipation of what's going to happen.

And then when the event actually happens, it's like, oh, that was not as bad as I thought. But just the idea of, oh, it's going to happen is scarier than the actual event. And that's the same with really unpacking your debt. So looking at it is really going to give you that amount of control to say, okay, I can do this. I can start to pay this off. It's the first step in paying off debt is knowing what you have. Next step is meal planning. this will save you some money people. Yep. So I do this every week on a Sunday night. I look at the

week ahead and we look at all of our nights. What do we have? What's going on? And you're able to plan out. This is exactly what we're going to have for dinner. And then you just do a big grocery run. Sometimes I have to do one in the midweek too because we run out of food. But the idea is, okay, yeah, here is what's going on each night. And planning ahead, it makes it so simple because you're not tempted to say, okay, I don't know what's for dinner. And you just go get takeout. I'll tell you, our Sunday nights are usually this. Like, we'll get to the end of the weekend. And Sunday night, it's like, what do we have?

What do we have in the fridge? I don't know. It's always our night of the week, but I'm not great at meal planning for. And I feel that pool of like, let's just order pizza. Like, let's just go do something. You end up spending more money versus if you had planned it out. Versus, you know, for us, the week, it's already planned. It's already there.

The grocery list is made. We know what's in the budget. We know what's going on. So meal planning will save you money and help you stick to the budget. Next is to read or list. send to money-related topics every week. So this is something that's really easy to do. There's so many podcasts out there, you guys. There's the Ramsey Show, The Table with Anthony O'Neill. Like, at Ramsey Solutions, we have so much content around money. So learn. Learn, learn, learn. Continue to read,

continue to listen, continue to learn. I mean, there's areas of your life that you're like, oh, I want to just do better in. Right now it's parenting for me. So I've been reading parenting books because I'm like, I just want to do this well. And so I immerse myself into into podcasts and books, all of that. So if that's money for you, learn, listen, because it motivates you. You get ideas. You think differently about stuff. I mean, you just expand your mind versus just doing what you know. Because if you just do with what you know, you're going to keep getting the same result. But if you want something different, you have to learn. So listening to stuff, reading stuff, again, Rumsie Solutions, we're here to help you with that. So check that out. Also,

insurance rates once a year. You should be shopping around and comparing things like your car insurance every year because, listen, rates can go down. Even if you switch jobs and your commute is shorter, that can affect your insurance. You know, maybe more time has passed since you had a ticket or an accident, your car insurance will go down. Maybe you've got a different car. Car insurance can go down. Seasonality. I mean, all of it, you guys, it's amazing. Your insurance really can be affected over time. So make sure you check those rates so you don't have to pay as much. Maybe avoid you're paying right now. Get rid of your credit cards. Chopping up those credit cards. It takes less than eight seconds. You can do it. And it's really easy. You just get some scissors. You get like a torch.

I don't care what it is. You just get rid of those credit cards. And this is going to save you money. Study after study shows that you spend more when you spend with credit cards. So not only that, but the idea that you're going to stop playing this game. It's like one of these financial products out there that people are like, okay, yeah, but I get points in airline miles. And listen, stop playing the game. Just save up and pay for it. That's it. Have a debit card. That's all. You have to deal with everything else going on. Like, make it simple. Make it simple. And it's, again, it's a game I'm just so done with playing and I just see how it affects people. And I'm like, nope, not going to do it. So it's easy to do. It may sound a little weird. You may

think that's kind of strange. Trust me. Just try it. Like, do it right now. And just just live with it for 90 days. And if you absolutely hate this advice, I promise credit card company will have you back in no time. You could always get more credit cards if you want it. But try it. Just see how it feels. Okay, I'm actually spending my money. How is this affecting me? It's a good test run. Now, if you take one of these a week and you do it over a couple of months, I promise your bank account is going to look different because you are taking control of your money. You're going to feel confident about your money more than ever because you're actually digging into the details of your life. It's not these things out there that are kind of looming. No, you're actually taking it in,

bringing into the light and doing something about it. And that's what I want for you. So badly, you guys, to not only just save money, but have the freedom where you are controlling your money. Well, hey, guys, I am so excited because one of my favorite people, I really enjoy her so, so dearly, is on Emily Lay. And she is, is the author of The Simplified Planner. She has the cutest pins ever. They're like my favorite things ever to write with. And she has a new book out called Growing Boldly.

So, Emily, welcome to the show. Hey, I'm so glad to be back. How are you? I know. I'm doing good. How are you? I'm great. It's crazy.

We were talking about the kids because we, you have a 10-year-old and then a set of twins. Yep. And when we first met, the twins were probably like a year or too old. And now they're six. And I was like, oh, my gosh, Emily, they have time. flies. It's just so wild. They are growing. I mean, they just don't, they don't keep. They don't stay little. That's for sure. I know. Okay, well, I'm really excited about your new book. Thank you. I love this. The whole idea behind it, I think, is so needed, especially for women. And so you talk about five key practices to creating a life you love.

And I love that phrase. That's one of the phrases I use creating a life you love because it is so important. So what are the five things that you talk about in the new book when it comes to, creating a life you love. Well, I wanted to write this book because I feel like there are just, there's so many books out there that tell women you can hustle till it hurts. Like, it's okay to sacrifice everything on the altar of entrepreneurship or whatever it is that you're after. And I, I just think there's a better way. And it's the way that we've built simplified over the last 12 years. And so I set out to create a structure around these ideas that I had that would be easy to remember and something you could like tuck in your pocket and take with you as you are building a

life you love, whether that is a business or a family or a ministry or whatever it is. So the principles are actually created around the word build. And I love the word build that the subtitle of the book is Dare to Build a Life You Love. And I love that word because it's just so actionable. It's about forward momentum, one foot in front of the other, doing things. And the book is kind of formatted around this as well. So the B is believe in who you are and whose you are. And I think that's so important because we often get lost under all these hats we wear as moms, as entrepreneurs, as wives. And sometimes, at least in my own life, sometimes I felt like, well, who's, like, who's Emily under all that, you know? So believe in who you are and then

whose you are. The you is utilize what you have. And this. section we dig into uncovering resources we have available because when we're feeling stuck, we sometimes feel like we just don't have what it takes. We believe all the lies. And really, there's so many truths and so many resources out there. And then the eye is imagine the life you want. And this is all about visualization. And the L, I love this one so much. It's love all people will. And I wanted this to be in the book because I feel like we have this responsibility to live up to our own potential and, you know, create lives that we love. But what if we did it in a way that influenced people at large and our communities and our families and brought other people

along with us? And then the D is do what matters, forget the rest. And this one is all about unapologetically protecting your priorities and going after what matters most in your life. I love that because all the steps, it's so refreshing, right? Because like you said, there can be this level of like grits that's so celebrated and part of that is so good right like it takes a level of intentionality and to work hard and all that that is also true yeah but almost like steamrolling everyone around you to get there isn't always like the best option right and so looking at it in such a in such a human perspective of seeing the whole pieces of all who you are that's what I love about this is you break it down so beautifully and and that makes it feel doable do you know what I

mean like that that's something that you're like okay I can do this so on this show we talk a lot about kind of what we were just saying, though, but being intentional, and there is a level of hard work in order to get the results you want, and there's that factor in life. And so with money, obviously, there's a sacrifice to get out of debt. Maybe you're taking on an extra job, or if you want to save up that emergency funds, like all of those are very intentional steps. You have to be very purposeful. And so you talk a little bit about that idea in the book when you say, dare to work. So talk me through what you mean by that. So I don't know if I've ever told you, but we run a debt-free company, and we have for the last 12 years,

and it was extremely intentional in the beginning when we had absolutely zero dollars to rub together. It meant that we grew slower. It meant that we had to be very careful, taking risks. But it meant that actually that I had to work a full-time job for two years to do this. But just like you said, it's the work. Like you put in the work during the work. season of work so that you set yourself up for the life that you want to have after that. And what I, I love what you said a minute ago about, you know, kind of honoring the work.

In this book we talk about honoring the season of work, of blood and sweat and tears and like sacrifice and doing the hard things. We have to honor that because it is, it is so needed and it's so important. But we have to equally honor the seasons of rest. It's just like we read in Ecclesiastes about everything having a season aside, you know, a time to plant, a time to harvest. If we don't balance the work with the care and the rest and the truth, we will absolutely face plant. And so this book is all about that dance between the two and how important it is to honor both seasons. And those seasons might look like years or they might look like a couple of minutes, right? So yes, I love that. I love that you said that. I think it's so important for us.

to honor both, you know? So why do you think it is, and I'll just speak for women specifically, I'm sure you could add men to this mix, but why do you think it is so hard for us to celebrate the rest part of our seasons? Like, I feel like you can become insecure

or so, because there's been times even in my career, right, over 10 years that I've had seasons from like, okay, I'm going to intentionally kind of pull back. Or other seasons where I'm like, okay, I got six months of like, it is just constant. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like the rest for me,

and maybe it's my enneagram or I don't know what, but it would be my most insecure time in life. Or I'm like, I don't want people to think that I'm lazy. You know what I mean? Like you have all these lies in your head. So why do we think that is with women or working moms or whatever it may be? I love that you asked that because I feel the same way. I mean, during this whole book release, you know, it's just so busy and there's so many things to do.

And finally last Friday, I just felt the burnout coming on. And I canceled my day. And I gave myself permission to just, take a nap, you know, to just rest, to get my house clean back up, like, all those things. And I did. I had some of those feelings of like, this isn't as productive as doing all the interviews and being on all the calls and had, you know, another book deadline. Like, I could be working on that. This isn't as productive. And I think that it's this validation that we get from the hustle. We're validated by, you know, we've glorified busy. So if I'm not busy,

I'm not worthy. If I'm not, if I'm not constantly maxed out running on, you know, we're glorified busy. adrenaline and, you know, Starbucks, then what else is life? And I've had to, I've had to be very intentional about realizing the benefits of relaxing and resting and, you know, filling my head and my heart with truth and not just social media feeds, you know? It's so important, but it's a, it's a practice that, like you said, it takes intentionality. Just like the hard work, we have to be very intentional about filling back up so we can go and do the good work. And I'm not sure that you realize how important it is until you've done it the wrong way and you've hit the wall.

And you can think, like, I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go back to that, you know, at least that's for me. Oh, yeah. No, that's such a good point. And even the identity piece, right, is so whether you're a full-time stay-at-home mom or whether you do have a job that you're plugged into, like, it is so easy. in this 2021 that we're living in in life, that you, there's so many things we can just like place our identity.

And when one of those is semi-in-a-restful season, right? Specifically with work, you know, that can. I think, and I think what's hard to is, if you're a believer, we can take, Paul Farris talks about this a lot, but we can take our vocation and think, you know, that it automatically means it's our calling and all of this. And when you're not doing that, you're not producing what you should. I mean, all of it, right?

It's kind of this vicious cycle. And so even just calling out, which I love that you do, just that intentionality to rest. Now, you also talk about in the book, three lies that you see women believe about their life. What are those? I think there's about a zillion of them. At least that you sometimes run through loop on my head or in my head. But I think the most, I think the biggest ones would be I am not prepared enough. So that would be like, I'm not educated enough.

I don't have the right computer or the right skills or the right this or that. I'm not prepared enough to do whatever it is. But if you've ever spent two hours watching YouTube, like, you can learn anything on YouTube. I think I started my whole company watching YouTube videos. I think that's one of the lies we believe that everybody else is just better poise to go after what it is that they want. I also think there's this lie that tells us that if we're not going to do it perfectly, there's no point. So if I can't make a seven-course amazing dinner, like I don't even want to cook. I just want to, you know, pick up chik flavor dinner or whatever.

And the chicken nuggets are great, so go for it. But like, why do we tell ourselves that, that if we're not going to do it big and, you know, massive, that we shouldn't even go after. If I'm not going to work out an hour a day every single day, then I shouldn't even try to go for a walk, you know, three days a week. That doesn't count. And we know it does. But those are the lies we tell ourselves. And the biggest one, the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we are not worthy. That living joyfully, doing big things, cultivating a beautiful marriage or family or home or business, that that's for other people because there's something about us that is flawed. and that's not okay. And for that reason, I wanted to include stories in the book that were from women who've inspired me, who have gone up against unbelievably tragic, hard, difficult things

and are still, even in the middle of those seasons or those situations thriving and building lives that they love. I love that you're just like calling out all of those, right? Because I think all women, you can relate to all three, maybe one of those that you just listed up. I'm like, yes, that is something that is so true. And do you think that those lies stop women from pursuing their dreams and these things that they have out there? Yeah, I mean, absolutely.

I can think of us a recent season of my life. 2020 did a number on us, right? Especially those of us that were either working in health care or doing virtual school, a lot of kids. I mean, kindergarten times two, I was telling you, on Zoom, that was real fun. But I was really burned out last year. And I remember feeling like I was being called into a little bit of a season of rest, take care of my body and exercise more and drink more water and just like do those things that I know I need to do. But I'm kind of an extremist.

And so I believe that middle lie of like if I'm not going to do, if I'm not going to, you know, run six miles every single day. And what is the point? It doesn't make a difference if I just do something small. But it does. It absolutely does. And so, yes, I think all of those lies hold us. back. And I think the way that we combat that is you can't

just tell the lie it's not true. You have to replace it. So we have to replace the lies we believe about ourselves with truths that don't change and are non-negotiable. Yes, that's so great. Because yeah, I love all of that

because I'm like, this is just living life on purpose. Like you're taking something, you know, right, whether it's your work, your family, your money, and you're saying, okay, we're going to actually forget what lies in my head that keep cycling. I'm going to forget what everyone else, they seem to have it all together,

and I'm the one that screwed up, right? Like all of that. And you're putting that ton of vision on and say, okay, I'm going to do this. Yeah. And we're going to go forward. I mean, we had so many people in the beginning say, like, well, you know, there's this small business loan

and there's this capital that you can raise. Go on shark tank. We tried to go on shark tank. We got three rounds deep into shark tank. And we decided like, why in the world would we give up equity in our company when we are, we're doing it. Like, we're growing slowly, but we're doing it. So we pulled out and never ended up going that route.

But yeah, sometimes we think there's only one way, but there's not. There's so many ways to be intentional about whatever it is and make it yours in your own way. So great, Emily. Oh, I love it. So one question for you. We talk about creating a life that you love. What is one thing that you're doing with? money that's creating a life you love. It could be big, it could be small. Anything.

So I'm fortunate to be married to Mr. Money Mind. And he's just, he's so, he's so good at leading our family in this area and helping, you know, make, we make these decisions together, but making really good long-term decisions. And so we are trying to make our money work for us. and he's just done some amazing things with some investments and other businesses. And so one thing I'm doing for our money is just being married to Brian Lay because he's great. But no, we're trying to make our savings, make our dollars work. Girl, that's the sweet spot, right? Like some people watching this, they're in the process of getting out of debt or they're building their emergency fund.

When you hit that investment spot, and you just watch, I mean, you're sleeping and your money's just, It's growing. And it's growing. It feels so great. You have to pay down the debt first. That's right. You know this, Emily. We are big fans.

We are big fans of Debram thing, of you. And yes, we believe in, we believe in this for sure. So great. Okay, so where can everyone pick up the book? Where can they find you? Yes. Connected with you, all the things. Growing Boldly is available at all the places.

All the places books are sold. And you can find me at Emily Lay and also at Simplified on social media. and then we just started a new podcast, which is why I have these headphones. And the podcast is called The Simplified Podcast, and it released just a couple weeks ago. And we've had so much fun with that. Well, congrats to you on everything. And the new book. I know launching a book during COVID is so funny and a little bizarre.

But kudos to you. Thank you. It is. It's going to help so many people. Thank you. It's amazing. God's timing in people, at least my friends that have done these kind of projects. I'm like, it is wild.

Like when it launches, like it launches the time it is supposed to launch. And that sounds cliche, but you start to see the fruit of that later. So I'm excited for you and I'm excited for everyone out there to pick up a copy of it. So thanks, Emily. Thanks for being on. I so, so appreciate it. And good luck to you. Thank you so much.

And this episode, I have on a guest and we're going to talk through a question that she has. So Paula, thanks for joining me. Yeah, thanks for having me. So where are you calling from? Minnesota, just outside Minneapolis. Yes, right outside. So great. Okay, so kind of a little bit of background on you. Where are you in your money journey, your baby steps? I just finished step one. So I just got my 1,000, about two weeks ago. So I'm on to step two.

So congratulations. Thanks. Yep. Heading that way. Okay, what caused you to start all of this? What made you say, okay, I'm going to jump on board and do baby step one and begin this journey? Well, I'm just really frustrated with being in debt, tired of living paycheck to paycheck, just really want to clean up our finances and start living life as it's meant to be like. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. Would you say it was like kind of the quintessential, you feel like money controls you and you don't control it? Was that kind of where you were at? Exactly. Yep. It's a good motivator then to jump on and do this. Okay. So your question, so you're in Baby Step 2. and what's your question?

So I have since revamping my budget, kind of dual purpose, one, to pay off bills, two, to start tithing. I felt like it's something I really should be doing. But kind of going along with your steps, like, is that something I should be doing? According to the Bible, yes, you're supposed to give your first 10% to God,

but I also feel called to pay off my bills. So I don't know. like where, like, what do you see as a priority, paying off bills or tithing? Yeah, I think a lot of people have this question because mathematically it can feel really weird to be seeing money leave. Like you're giving money when you're like, no, no, no, I should be saving this money. Or I should be paying off debt all for a good cause, right? Like, you're doing all of these things in order to create that foundation and that stability

financially, which is what you're saying, scripture calls us to. like it does talk about saving. It talks about being debt-free, you know, not owning anyone anything. I mean, all of that, yes, is so deeply rooted in the scripture. And giving is there as well. So being able to balance that, yep, can be really difficult. So one thing that I always tell people is, no matter where you are in the baby steps, I want you to be giving.

I want this kind of for two reasons. One, I want it to become a habits of just your every monthly, you know, expense or every quarter, whatever you decide to do when you decide to do it. But I want giving to be part of your financial life as a habit now where you are today. So you're on baby step two, just starting it. You know, two weeks ago, you're a baby step one. And so now you're like fresh on the baby step two. For some people, maybe they haven't even started this. For others, maybe they're on baby steps four, five, and six. Like, but no matter where you are, start doing it now because people kind of, I feel like can tell themselves a lie of, well, if I had enough money, I would give. Or if I, once I'm out

debt, it'll be easier. But what happens is when you keep putting something off, something like giving, other priorities continue to be in front of it. So when you can start the habit now where you are, it kind of sets that starting point, which I think is really big. But also the fact that you're asking the question, I think, is huge. Because some people don't even think about giving. And giving one reason I encourage it so much. Not only do I feel like what you're saying, scripture calls us to that, but also it does something to you when you don't just have this inflow of money and you just keep it here. Like there is something spiritual, emotional, all of it, when you let some of it go. And so on a spiritual sense, there's a level of trusting

God there. But then if you're not someone that is, you know, that spirituality isn't really a part of your life, there's still something to be said about the human nature of giving. And when you open your hand and you give, there's a selflessness that occurs that is so huge that affects every other part of your life, not just your giving. And so it is something I advocate for for everyone. And so that's kind of a long way around the answer. But I would say yes, be giving even while in Baby Step 2. It makes sense because I didn't even think that I would actually have the money too tied when I kind of put all my plans in motion and, had the goal. So I'm actually really surprised that I, that I'm able to and I don't miss it.

Yeah. What made you think that you wouldn't have it? And then when did you realize you did actually have the money? Was it that you didn't have a budget? And then when you actually did have a budget, you realized, oh, wow, I have more money than I thought I did? Um, a little bit of both. So I didn't have the money because I was paying all of these bills and I was living, well, still I am, kind of not so much the last couple of checks, but But yeah, living paycheck to paycheck, not having any money left over for anything extra other than what I had budgeted. And I always budget everything out on a spreadsheet and I've got it saved.

So I didn't see the money until I kind of made myself set it aside for tying. So now I do. Yes, that makes sense. And like I said, I don't even miss it. So, yeah. Isn't that awesome? Yeah. And I think that's what happens sometimes is people.

also have the tendency to kind of do their budget, and then they get to the end, and they say, oh, but I have no money to give, or maybe I have no money to save. I have no extra, and you're like, yeah, that's because it's upside down, right? Starting there, forces everything else to go into place, which is so, so big. And I think even going through that exercise is huge because it just shows you, wow, I actually have control over what's going on. Like I actually have a say in my money. Like we talked about earlier, and I just, I can feel that from you, for the first time you experienced that. Is that true? Yeah, it's an amazing feeling. Yes.

Yep. I love that. So great. Well, thanks for your question, Paula. It's a great one. Again, I think a lot of people ask and can struggle with this area, but making it a priority and actually doing it, like you said, you don't even miss it, right? It's become now a part of who you are. And I think that that's such a beautiful thing.

And that's the part that would be magnified as you start to win with money, which is so awesome, so, so great. Well, thank you, Paula, so much for your question. I really appreciate you coming on. Yeah, thanks for having me. I think Paula's question was so needed because, again, giving can be such an emotional conversation because it feels weird again saying,

no, give money away while you're trying to say, no, let's get out of debt and save money for an emergency fund and all of that. But again, walking through it, understanding the importance of giving is something that is so crucial. So I'm so glad Paula had that question. All right, this episode was so great.

Again, I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Emily. Thanks again, Emily Lay, for coming on because I think it's so crucial for us, specifically as women, to have these kind of conversations. Now, if you enjoy this podcast and you've not subscribed, make sure you hit that subscribe button. And if the spirit leads, you can leave a review. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. And as always, I want you to take control of your money and create a life you love.