The Rachel Cruze Show - How to Raise Good Kids Without Breaking the Bank

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Kids aren’t cheap, but they don’t have to make you broke either. So, let’s talk about how to save some serious money on your kids!     In this episode of The Rachel Cruze Show, we’ll talk about:   Four things new moms feel pressured to buy but don’t actually need Stories from real students who went to college debt-free  Why you don’t have to be busy to be the best mom    Sponsors pay the producer of this show, The Lampo Group, LLC, advertising fees for mentioning their services or products during programming. Advertising fees are not based upon or otherwise tied to any product sale or business transacted between any consumer or sponsor. The following sponsors have paid for the programming you are viewing:   — Zander Insurance     Resources (everything mentioned in this episode):   Zander Insurance Follow Linsey Davis on Instagram: @linseytdavis Show Notes Page Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I knew I was not going to be able to afford to go to school without a lot of scholarships. The best ways your kids can go to college without going into debt. Graduating without debt has allowed me to do so many things in life. ABC correspondent Lindsay Davis here to share her message about helping your kids focus on what really matters. You know, God gave us all this special gift. He gave us one big heart. And that's the most unique part because that's where the love starts. How are you guys? It's a very uncertain time right now because of the coronavirus and everything that's being affected. Whether it's your health or your money, the world is just, it's insane right now. It's crazy.

But one thing is true that I believe in the American economy enough to tell you that we are going to be okay. I promise, we are going to be okay. There is hope still when it comes to your money. Now, there are things that we cannot control what goes on statewide or in Washington. There's a lot of things that we can control. What we can control is what happens in our homes and our personal finances. So making sure that we don't make decisions based on fear, but on facts. But as recordings go, we recorded this before the coronavirus pandemic. It all began, all the craziness, you guys. I just still cannot believe the world we're living in, but that's reality. But all the content in these episodes, they still ring true. So no matter

what is happening in the economy, things might be a little bit harder at times for sure. But I hope this content brings you hope. I hope it brings you hope. you life, and I hope it brings you some really great tactics to help you with your money. So here's today's episode. Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of the Rachel Cruz Show podcast. So glad that you're here. Well, this podcast, we're going to talk all about kids, and it doesn't matter how old they are, what they're interested in. Kids cost a lot of money. You're taking care of a human being, and that's awesome, but it doesn't have to be so expensive. And today I'm going to talk all about some big ways to save money on your kids and we'll cover some things that you don't need to waste your

money on for a new baby and things that I personally can't go without. You'll hear about the best ways your kids can go to college without debts. And plus, I've got ABC correspondent Lindsay Davis here to share her message about helping your kids focus on what matters and it doesn't cost anything. And since my kids are still little, I ask you guys to share your best money-saving tips for school-age children. And as always, you came through for me. So we'll get to those later. All right, right now, I'm in the season of life that is all about baby. And it's my third time around, and I can tell you I've learned a few things. So there's a lot of things that people tell you that you have to buy.

And you feel this pressure to spend all this money on stuff. And then at the end of the day, you look, you're like, I wasted so much money on all this stuff for a new baby. It's a hard reality. So let's just get the record straight. Because there are four things, in my opinion. Again, these are all my opinion that you do not need for a new baby that you do not need to waste your money on. Number one, a wipe warmer.

No, they're fine. I promise, they are fine. I don't care if it's 3 p.m. or 3 a.m. They're fine, unless you got a wipe warmer for a shower gift and you got it for free, that's sure you can use it. Don't go buy one. No, no, no, no, no. You don't need to waste your money on that. Number two, expensive baby clothes.

Listen, in an hour. or they're going to outgrow the clothes, okay? So they usually wear an outfit, especially that first year, like once or twice. I had so many clothes from Amelia, so many clothes. And then I passed on to Caroline. And now that it's a boy, I just consigned 187 items. And I was so excited. But guess what?

Only 86 sold. So now I'm stuck with 100 items. I can't use that I bought that has literally been used once. So someone at Goodwill in Franklin, Tennessee, is going to be very happy if they have a little girl because there's going to be a lot of cute baby girl clothes. But again, I've wasted so much money on baby clothes. It's just so sad. Number three, in the same genre, don't waste your money on baby shoes.

No, no baby shoes. When your baby can't walk, your baby doesn't need shoes. And yet, people spend so much money on name brand shoes like Ugs and Nike and like all this And yeah, I guess it's kind of cute to have like a little two-week-old and a pair of high tops. But I don't think so. I don't think that's not cute because they're going to outgrow them. Like in an hour, they're not going to need the shoes. And the baby can't walk.

Do you remember that? Like, they can't walk. So don't waste your money on baby shoes. And last but not least, in my opinion, again, the diaper genie. Yeah. You know, just a Publix bag, a Kroger bag, a Whole Foods bag, a grocery bag, anything that you can just throw old diapers in and then throw it away at the end of the day or in the midday, it's all you need. You don't need a fancy little thing for your diapers, okay? Just get a

trash bag. It's fine. It's all good. Now, there are some things that you really do need. And again, this is all my opinion, but things that are great investments that will make your life easier if you have a new baby. Number one, the sleep sack swaddle. Yes, you zip them up. They got those little Velcro flap. She put their little arms down and they sleep. Oh, and they sleep so well. Swaddling, it's the best thing, especially when they're newborns. They sleep really, really well. So invest in a good swaddle. Number two, aquifor. We have tubes of aquifor at our house. Lots and lots and lots and lots of aquifer because aquifer solves anything from chapped lips to diaper rash to whatever you need, it solves it. We've convinced our kids that aquifor literally solved. We've convinced our kids that aquifor

literally solves everything that Amelia had a mosquito bite the other day. She was like, I need some aquifer on it. I was like, oh, poor thing. You don't know. It doesn't take away the itch. But you believe it solves, it solves even a mosquito bite. So aquifer, though, really, it's the best thing. So get a bunch of aquifer. Also, cloth diapers for your burp cloths. That's right. Like Gerber has a brand and it's a white cloth diaper, but don't use it for the diaper. Use it for the burp cloth because when they spit up, it absorbs so much. much. And they're super cheap. You can buy them in bulk. I love it. Next, I'm going to get some haters on this next one, but I'm totally confident and okay with it. But baby wise, yeah, it was something I could

not live without. It's like a $10, $15 book on Amazon, and it helps you sleep train your baby. In fact, the subtitle is, on becoming baby wise, giving your infant the gift of nighttime sleep. And not just your infant, but you. Yes, parents. parent, new parent of little child. Yes, you get the gift of nighttime sleep. I'm all about sleep training. It's one of my spiritual gifts. I say it all the time. I can be a travel agent or a sleep trainer for a baby. It's what I'm good at. It really is. And so I could not live without it. And again, this is totally to each its own. Some people hate the ideal sleep training. That's fine. If it's not in your natural bent, don't do it. Don't do it because it made you're crazy. But for Winston and

myself, we like thrive on this kind of stuff. And it's helped us. Both of our babies have slept through the night at eight weeks. And it works. It does. It really works. But you got to be committed. Okay? You got to be committed. Some people say, yeah, I kind of did baby wise-ish and it didn't work. I'm like, yeah, that's the ish mentality. Like, that's when people say, like, we do the Daveish plan. Like we're kind of getting out of debt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, you got to be committed. So if you do baby wise, you got to commit. Okay, I just wanted to stop right here and say that, yes, I was joking about the baby wise-ish thing. But what's funny is that translate it even to your money.

People do Ramsey-ish stuff. Like, yeah, I'm kind of going to get out of debt. I'm kind of going to get a budget, maybe, sort of. We'll see. Yeah, that's like the ish mentality, you guys. You have to be committed. Listen, when you are committed, that's when you're going to see results. When you say, you know what, we are going to get out of debt.

We're going to take all of our focus and focus on this for the next two years of our lives. And we're going to just do it. That's committed. Or every month, we are going to do a budget. even if we feel like we mess it up a lot, we're still going to be committed to do it. Those are people that see change. When you are committed,

instead of just kind of involved or watching from the sidelines, you're going to see change. So I'm telling you guys, don't be ish on your money. Don't be Ramsey-ish. Be committed, be full in. Okay, let's get back to it.

All right. And the final. Probably the most important thing that you need to take care of while you have an infant is making sure that you have term life insurance. Not your baby doesn't need term life insurance. You need term life insurance.

So with all the new things the parents have going on, there's so much. It's not usually something that people think about needing. So it is so, so important. Even if you're just thinking about starting a family, be thinking about term life insurance. And it isn't something only parents who work outside the home need.

Even if one parent stays at home, you both need to make sure that you have life insurance. Because let's be honest, stay-at-home parents, they do a lot for their families. And the bottom line is you need to make sure your loved ones are protected. Winston and I personally love working with Zander Insurance. They make the process super easy. They will walk with you through every step of the way,

help shop around for the best rates, and make sure that your family's getting the right amount of coverage. So go to Zander.com or click the link in the show notes to get started today. Okay, babies, they're an area. I feel like I'm an expert on. I've been doing it for a little well now. But once your kids hit elementary school and beyond, it's like a whole other level of parenting.

So I consulted my Facebook group to share some of their expert tips on saving money in this stage of life. So here's what you guys had to say. Allison said, I'm a mom of two boys ages 11 and 6, and you best believe the six-year-old's clothes were once worn by his older brother. Amanda said limiting extra school activities to just a few. April said buy snacks in bulk, put half of them in the pantry, and then hide the other half in a stockpile in the basement. If they can see it, they will eat it all in one setting. It's a really good advice. Even for your husband, it's probably great advice too.

Rachel said, consignment for kids. That's not me, Rachel. It's another Rachel. But yes, totally agree. And clearance by next year's clothes. Both my girls are in the same size clothes. Heather said, I say no, a lot. But we find a lot of free things and still have the things we need.

Teaching them that need Trump's want is what's really important right now. Candice said, I started my seven and nine-year-olds on commission. Now, my seven-year-old wants something, I just ask if she has the money. No more begging. My nine-year-old never really begged for stuff before, but he has a bit of cash sitting in his room. I love that. That's amazing, Candace, because I talk about that in Smart Money, Smart Kids, putting your kids on commission. And I actually have a savings printable that your kid can color in when they're saving up for something.

So click the link in the show notes for that. Stephanie said, we have a 10-year-old son. We save money by going to eat at restaurants that kids eat free, so our bill is less expensive, but we still get to eat out as a family. You guys, these are great tips, great money-saving tips for kids. I love it. Okay, one way to save money on your kids is to not pay for college. By the way, you're not a bad parent if you don't pay for college. Yes, we encourage the baby steps.

I want you out of debt, having a fully funded emergency fund, funding retirement, and then funding kids college. But if you don't get there, by the time your kids are in college, that is okay. You are not a bad parent. And let me tell you, it is possible to go to school debt-free. So coming up, I want to share with you four incredible stories of college students who did it. So check it out. So my parents had always told us, like, if you're going to school, you're going to pay for it yourself.

So I went to the scholarship office at the community college I went to. and at the time I was under 25, and if you're under 25, your parents' income counts against you. So she told me, in order to get any sort of scholarship or financial aid, I needed to bring in my dad's tax returns. So I went in there, and I handed her my dad's tax returns, and she looked at it, she laughed, handed it back to me and said, I can't help you, honey, and sat back down and started typing. And I was just, like, crushed. I was like, they can't help me. I don't have the savings for this. I knew I was not going to be able to afford to go to school without a lot of scholarships.

I applied for scholarships like it was going out of style. Like the debt snowball, there's kind of a scholarship snowball where if you have one scholarship and then you can put that in your next scholarship application, it gives you more legitimacy and you're more likely to get the next scholarship. And then on the third scholarship you can put that you got two others and you're more likely to get the next scholarship. So that's what I ended up doing. of scholarships, not because I was so much more qualified than everyone else, but just because

it gave me legitimacy. Graduating without debt has allowed me to do so many things in life. My husband and I have cash full of a car and paid off $30,000 on our house in the last year and saved for renovations. None of that would have been possible if we were under tons of student loans. Whenever my mom sat me down and talked to me about college, we started talking about scholarships and I kind of thought that was the only option. Basically my freshman year of high school, she sat me down and said, Christina, I love you and I believe in you, but there's just no way that I can support you financially once you graduate from high school, so you've got to figure out your own way to pay for college. So she introduced me to scholarships and told me that if I worked

really hard that I could get it paid for, get college completely paid for a scholarship. So we just kind of went on that journey. We read every book we could find on the topic. We talked to alumni who had won scholarships, we just did as much digging as we possibly could. So we put together a strategy and throughout high school, I was just really strategic about what kind of things I did, making sure I volunteered a lot, which I loved. I just really built my resume to not only be enjoyable throughout high school, but also to stand out on the scholarship application process. I talked to a lot of kids who are freshmen in college and they were blindsided by the cost

of an education and I think that's a really big struggle. So I always encourage parents to have very real real, really, really, conversations with their kids about finances early on even if they can't pay for their college education and it feels awkward just go ahead and have those conversations so that the kid has enough time to prepare and come up with different strategies I mean if you spend two hours applying for a scholarship and you win a thousand dollars that's like making five hundred dollars per hour you know that's more money than you're gonna make in pretty much any other

part-time job in high school so go ahead and give it a shot and put yourself out there the fact that I went to college without student loans has been amazing. It's allowed me the freedom to build my own business after college. And if I had debt leaving college, I wouldn't be able to have the freedom to pour back into other people and do something that I'm really passionate about. I knew that it's a possibility you could have student loans,

but in my family that was never an option. So it was either go to school and work for it or don't go to school and choose something else. So I did the one thing I said I would never do, which was live at home and go to school. Throughout college, I worked and had two to three part-time jobs, and then by the time I got to senior year, scholarships covered my entire senior year.

Yeah, and I paid for college. I've had a job since I was, or had jobs since I was 14 years old, and just I've always worked and saved my university work. I did it all online, so I was able to work and then do that when I was off. The way my parents helped me was providing a place to live through college, and that's a huge money saver. I couldn't have graduated that free if I had lived elsewhere on my own or on campus. I think in our society and our culture, parents have a standard that they feel like they have to meet,

that if they don't send their kid to college, they're somehow a failure as a parent. And so I think comparison really creeps in. And so when it comes to that, I think that parents need to take a step back and see what is true success as a parent. And that's instilling work ethic and generosity and responsibility into your child. College is not a promised land, and it's not a golden ticket to success. So who your child is is more important than them getting a four-year degree. So our life now as being out of school net-free, we kind of sat down. We've been married for four months.

There's just freedom and there's just peace. There's no pressure of can we pay the bills or can we pay down our loans and everything. Like you get to choose what you spend your money on and choose what to save for. Everybody talks about the post-grad life. You're like, oh my gosh, it's so hard to be in the workforce. It's so hard. we were like, this is a breeze. This is so fun because we don't have to, we don't have to go to school and work two or three jobs or all that. Like, it's just, it's a break to us. So it's kind of opposite

of a lot of people that we know. But man, it's a fun life. All right, I love those stories because it's proof that you can go to college today, debt free. So a couple of things that they said. Number one, going to a school that you can afford. This helps you graduate debt free. Number two, scholarships and grants. My friend Anthony O'Neill has an incredible tool to help you find scholarships and grants. So I'll put that link in the show notes. And then last but not least, working. So all of these things combine, you guys, you can go to school debt-free. One of my favorite packages to ever show up at my door is my Tuftan needle mattress. I've got a couple now, and seriously, I love this mattress. You guys know exactly how it is. When you're juggling all the demands of mom,

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Go to tn.com to get started. That's tn.com. All right, we've talked about a lot of ways to save money on our kids, but you know I love to get to the heart of every issue we talk about. Because where you spend your money reveals what you do. truly value in life. And kids are a great thing to value, obviously, but you don't have to spend a ton of money to raise good humans, which is exactly why I'm bringing on Lindsay Davis today to talk about how to do just that. Lindsay, thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me. So fun. You are like one of my favorites because I love GMA. It's my morning show. Okay.

It's what I watched. Glad to hear that. Yes. Thank you. ABC is part of my heart. So you're a working mom. Working mom. Yes. Whatever I have moms on, but I have full-time jobs, I'm always like, okay, so I love like tips and tricks of like how you do it. So like what are your, what are a couple things that you like think about when you think about being a working mom that are kind of like principles in your life? Well, I think I have become a master multitasker. Yes. And so, you know, while I'm, you know, working on a story, I'm also making sure that, you know, things are taking care of at home with my son in soccer and after school programs and all of that and just doing more than one thing at the same time is just kind of becomes a constant. And I think something you just like put your

head down and just do. Right. It's not really a, you know, writing out the things to do list as much as it is just like, we got to do this. Yeah. There's not, there's not even time. Yeah. Absolutely. So your job at ABC News, your correspondent. So tell me kind of like give the audience a little bit of like a, what does that look like a day and a life of you. Sure. Okay. I have a, it sounds It sounds a little more complicated than it is, and then I go to work twice a day. So early in the morning, I get a car into Times Square. I do Times Square. So, like, 5.30, it's not terrible.

Yes. But like 5.30, then we go and do hair makeup for like the 90 seconds then that I'm on camera. Then I go back home. Okay. And I'm really trying to make it home so I can take my son to school by 825. So you make it home before school? I try. I mean, like 60, 70% of the time.

the time I try. I have all my things like ready to go at the door, so I'm like racing out of the studio as soon as my segments off. Fascinating. And then, um, I can take him to school. I can do, if he's not at school, do some kind of little activities, take a nap sometimes. Yes. Amen. Sister. Yes. Get appointments done. Go to the grocery store. Make a dinner that I make in for, like during breakfast time. I'm making dinner. And then, um, in the afternoon, I go back to work, uh, to be on standby for World News. And then I'm home normally before bedtime. Wow. So, It feels like a lot, but when you're in it and just being able to make it home to see your child off to school, I think it makes it all worthwhile. Oh, absolutely, for sure. I know. It's like those small times during the day that I'm like, if you can like get those, like that's it.

Right. And I think that those are the things that the children will remember. Or at least I hope that those are the children. I know, right. You're like, bust to my butt. He better remember. So good. So on this show, we talk a lot about money and talking about the value of even just giving. And when you give, and when you give, to others, you really are valuing that person a lot. And so you're really passionate about teaching kids about valuing other people. And so I just want to know, like, where did that all come from for you? Well, one thing I'll say, you know, especially having a child, it has made me better. And one thing I started right before my son was born was a holiday charity event that we do with a Fox Women's Shelter in Harlem. Okay. Yeah. And so every Christmas, I gather up my friends. family and make them adopt a friends of family, not even make. I mean, they're interested.

Oh, totally. Yeah. Doing it. And then this was like a love project that it became more important for me once I had a child so that he would see me and my husband doing this. And so that now he's excited about giving. And, you know, even we'll round up his toys and like things that he might not be using. And then we'll go out shopping and say, like, well, what would you like? You know, as a four-year-old boy, what do you think that another five-year-old boy would like or a four-year-old boy at the different ages as each year, we kind of shop for somebody that's his age and his gender. And then he has to give it away. The thing that he would like want the most and give it away.

And I think that that is what fulfillment is. That is what is really being rich, right? In the end, as long as your needs can be met, right? And then that really is like the greatest thing, right, about when you have, and even when you don't have, but being able to give to other people. And I think that that's just such an important message. If there are like three things that I can impart to my son, that is one of the top ones.

Yes. Oh, I love that. I'm not living with that open hand. But you wrote a book, One Big Hearts, which I was just telling you before, we started this, that like even the illustrations, you guys are just, it's like, it's so great. Okay, so tell me about the book.

Yeah, so One Big Heart, a celebration of being more like than different. I think that, you know, I call it a reinforcement for children of what I think that they already know. because inherently, you know, people will often say that, you know, kids don't see color, and I totally disagree with that. I think that kids do see color, they just don't assign a value to it.

It's quite often adults who do that. And adults that make the different separation and like, oh, we're different because of this. And so because I do believe that kids see color, I wanted to create a book where we would talk about it. And it's not like the elephant in the room that you just like are like, well, they're too young to know and talk about. So it's like, hey, we do have different skin colors and we have different features and we have different features and we have different. likes and dislikes and personalities. We have different backgrounds and beliefs, right? But, you know, God gave us all this special gift. He gave us one big heart. And that's the most unique part because that's where the love starts. And I just feel that it's something that children inherently know, you know, as my son and you have

young girls. And as they're meeting new friends, I mean, I would ask you, do they ever come home and say, well, this is their race and this is their gender and this is their background? No, they say, like, oh, well, we like dolls and we like Legos and we like the things they are able to come up. with what they have. Yes. That is so, so good. Because you have other kids' books, you said. Yes.

So I have, this is the second. The World is Awake, a celebration of everyday blessings, is the first book. And that was kind of a general introduction to my son, in which I hope that other parents would feel would be valuable for their children, of kind of who God is through their every day. So the little things that as adults we kind of, stop forgetting about and the little majestic things that happen with sunrises and butterflies and rainbows, the things that we really don't see at a certain point, but you often do start having

these renewed eyes once you have a child and once they're kind of tugging at your sleep saying, oh my goodness, look at that. Look at the chipmunk, you know, whatever it is. And they're excited about this. They give you those fresh eyes. And they're seeing for the first time and they have that excitement. And I think that quite often, you know, as adults, we just, we don't think about it anymore. And so this was kind of like me putting back on my little child hat and like those things that were exciting. And look at all God's creations all about us. And I love all that because that book and this book, what does is. It's just like it brings back the value system of like, I feel like what we were created with, right? And I feel like we get tainted in our culture and our

world by everything from social media, media, all of it. And I'm like, no, when you go back to the basics of how you were created, like what you're saying, I'm like, it's just a beautiful thing. and to be able to instill that in your kids and letting them see the value in others. So how do we teach our kids to not assign a sign of value to things that don't matter? I think that the main thing is exposure. I think that kids need to see children, adult people

who look like them and who don't look like them. A lot of people have gotten the book and people, their children have said, like, this person looks just like me and they celebrate that. And I think that should be celebrated. But I think also what we should look at is kids who don't look like them

and seeing that and normalizing that, right? And so I think that if you happen to live in an area where the, you know, children are not very diverse, whether it's at, you know, school or the supermarket or church or synagogue, then I think that as parents, it's our job to make sure that we're looking in the toolbox to figure out what else can we show our children. So books and toys, you know, the dolls that you get, they don't often all have to look just like your child. I think that it's really important, especially if you don't live in a diverse area to make sure that the books and the characters in the books reflect who they are and don't. You know, There was an essay a while ago that I'd read. It was windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors. And the idea is that children need the mirrors so they can see themselves reflected in books. They need a window so they can peer into a world that may be unfamiliar with their own. And if that window really works, it's able to be a sliding glass door to transport them into that world. Right.

And so that's how we can see books as ways to expose our children. And I think that that's where it starts. Because, you know, as you look at, like, hate crimes that are on the rise in this country, for example, a lot of that, I think, comes from the unknown, fear of the unknown. And so if the child is exposed to people who have different cultures, different beliefs, different religions, I think that commonality, again, you won't decide it's this we versus them, us versus they attitude. Yeah, because the unknown is what creates that scary to us almost. And you just remove that completely by normalizing it.

And so, oh, so good. Oh, Lindsay, you guys, seriously, check it out. One Big Heart. Beautiful, beautiful book. not just illustrations, but obviously the message that's in it is just absolutely fabulous. So thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. I appreciate it. And you can get this wherever books are sold.

Thanks, Lindsay. Thank you. Oh, what a great episode. Now, even if you're not a parent right now, I hope you can tuck away some of those tips for later. And let me just say, parents, you're probably doing better than you think you are. Remember, with kids, more as caught than taught. All right, if you have not subscribed to this podcast, make sure you do that. And if the Spirit leads, you can leave a review.

And if you're looking for the free savings printable or anything that I mentioned in today's show, we will put those links in the show notes. All right, as always, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love. If you guys enjoyed this podcast, we have more from the Ramsey Network, like the Chris Hogan Show. I am so excited to be able to talk to you all week in and week out. We're going to talk about your money, your life, your dreams, and your goals. You know why? Because I'm your coach. Whether we're talking about building wealth, paying off your home early, investing, paying for college, and guess what?

How to become an everyday millionaire. We're going to focus on taking your calls because you matter to me. Together, we can do this. This is the Chris Hogan show. To hear full episodes, just search Chris Hogan wherever you listen to podcast or go to Chris Hogan 360.com.