The Rachel Cruze Show - How to Stop Being Stressed About Money in 2022

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

When you ditch debt, you ditch stress. (And who doesn’t want less stress?) This week, Dr. John Delony shares how the stress of debt impacts your mental health and marriage, I’ll show you how to simplify your budget, and then we’ll go over some Valentine’s Day deals you won’t want to miss. Here’s the lineup: 7 Ways to Simplify Your Budget Top 5 Ways Debt Affects Your Mental Health The Best Valentine’s Day Deals at Target Resources: EveryDollar Money & Marriage Valentine’s Day Edition Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Debt isolates you. Debt takes away your control of what tomorrow's going to look like. And it makes it not safe. Other people have control into your life. So I've come to believe that if you owe somebody money, you cannot be psychologically whole. I believe that with all my heart. Hey guys, welcome to this episode of the Rachel Cruz Show podcast.

I'm so glad that you're here. And this podcast will talk about how to be less stressed about your money in 2022. That's right. Amen, hallelujah. You'll hear a conversation that I had with Ramsey personality, Dr. John Deloney, on five ways to stop letting debt affect your mental health. Then we'll talk about ways to save money on Valentine's Day. Mm-hmm. Yep. Some people's favorite holiday, some people's least favorite holiday. But one place that you can save money that we're going to talk about, one place that everyone loves, Target. That's right. But first, let's talk about seven ways to simplify your. budgets. Take a listen. If you could imagine your budget only taking like 15 to 20 minutes a week to be

looking at and interacting with, it's a game changer. So we're going to talk through some of my favorite tips to simplify that. But in order to do your budget, a couple things to remember. Have a dedicated time at the beginning of the month or the end of the month prior to sit down and do your budget because you want to do a budget before the month begins. So you can do it like on the first of the month or the 30th, 31st of the other month, but you want to do it before the month begins. And if you're married, you want to do it with your spouse. Get on the same page with your spouse. And then I would look at your calendar and say, okay, what special occasions are coming up? Are there extra expenses that we have this coming month versus last month? And you can plan so

much easier when you look at your calendar. So once you've looked at your calendar, you've sat down with your spouse and you've actually said, okay, we're ready to do the budgets. Here are some ways to help you do it faster. Number one, use technology. The old pen and paper, it works. You can do it, but let's be honest, you're going to be doing a calculator and doing math and figure it out stuff. When you use an app, like every dollar, it does it for you. It shows you exactly how much you have left to budget, if you've over-budgeted, you're able to change stuff on the go. It makes life so much easier. So if you don't have every dollar, I really would recommend doing that. I actually had a friend text me last week, and she was like, hey, if I were to use one app for budgeting,

what would it be? I was like, I might be a little biased, but every dollar. So again, download it. You can go to ramsysolutions.com slash every dollar and check it out because it will help you save so much time. Number two, you want a budget based off a last month's income and expenses. Okay, so especially if you've done every dollar, it duplicates for next month. And this makes it so easy, so you're not doing a new budget every single month. That's going to take forever. Take last month's budget and say, okay, what is different on here? What do we need to change? But you use it as a baseline versus starting from scratch. I promise that will save you so much time and effort. And then number three, put specific categories that are only, like,

to the month, at the bottom of the budget. Because here's when you're duplicating and replicating last month's budget, all your consistent bills like cable and usually electricity and water for the most part, rent or your mortgage, like these bills that are going to be very, very consistent, the expenses, even food, you pretty much, we're going to figure out within 30 days, 90 days, how much you spend on food. So the things that are month to month you're going to have. And then the month-specific ones are down below.

So this would be like in December, it might be Christmas, right? or last December we had, I deleted like five categories because we had plane tickets we bought for a trip coming up next year. We had Christmas, we had our anniversary in December. Like we had a couple of things that were not going to move over to January. So in January I was able to delete those. But instead of them being all mixed in and having to go through every single thing, it just makes it easy just to get rid of.

And it kind of satisfying to be like, we don't have any of those. Now, when you're looking at your calendar, you're probably going to add some month-specific categories. back in the budget, but that's what it's there for, which is great. All right, next, pay your bills online. This is a huge time saver and helps you stay on track because you can do auto drafts from your checking account for most places. But if they don't accept that, even your bank will send a check for you. There might be a fee. But anything that you can do to get off your plate that you have to do manually and it can be automatic that you know it's coming out, again, it's a

lifesaver because you don't forget, it's automatically paid, no late fees or any of that. Next, use cash when possible. So this is always a great, just money-saving tip in general. And I know a lot of places now may not even accept cash or you're doing online shopping, but the places that you tend to overspend in your budget, cash those out. And you can know, okay, I'm cashing this much out. So you have it in your budget. So you already know this is the amount of money we're spending.

So when you have it in cash, you're like, okay, this is all we have for this category. And it makes you stay on track. and the Rachel Cruz wallet. Yes, there's so many envelopes built in to the wallet, so you can offer different categories. There's 10 slots for your debit cards and your gift cards. We partnered with Join, which is an incredible organization out of India. So it's genuine leather.

It's beautiful. So you can check that out at ramsysolutions.com slash wallet for that. Next, again, to simplify the time you spend on your budget is have fewer accounts. So if you're married, have one checking account that you're working out of. Really, you just need one savings account for your emergency fund. And then maybe you can have another savings account if you have different sinking funds and that kind of thing. But the less accounts you have, the more simple it is to budget.

And last but not least, spend 15 to 20 minutes a week on your transactions. Now, if you have every dollar like we talked about, it will connect to your bank account, every dollar plus, and so you're able to drag and drop them in each category. But tracking your transactions is going to help you stay on budget. It does not take long at all, and it really helps you keep track of your spending. And that's one big part of budgeting that helps you actually win, is you know how much is left in the category throughout the month, because then you're able to say no to that category altogether

or maybe you move some money from a different category, but it helps you stay on track. This is your friend, I'm telling you. So that's it, you guys. I mean, budgeting, it can be stressful a little bit because especially if you've never done it before, it's like, okay, you have to pull in all these numbers, figure it out. But I'm telling you, after your second or third budget

or your second or third month of doing this, it gets easier. It really does. And your time doing it will reduce because you're used to it. And it is the thing that is going to help you stay on track when it comes to your money. It still just boggles my mind sometimes.

I've heard people say, well, I work too hard to kind of budget every single dollar and just like, and I just think the opposite. I'm like, I feel like I work too hard just to not do it. Like there's something about it that's so satisfying that I'm like, I know what I'm working towards. Winston and I have a few money goals for this year. And we're like, okay, we want to hit them.

So I want to make sure we're putting this amount away. Like, it's your game plan. It helps you do everything. And it's amazing. So make sure you are budgeting this year, you guys. It can change the game. So one of the interesting things about money. is it's not always just about money.

And I love this conversation, and we're gonna talk about it here on the Rachel Cruz show. So I decided to invite my friend, Dr. John Deloney on, to be with us today. Welcome, John. How are you? Good, good. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me on. Okay, so again, money I feel like is never just about money, right?

So like overspending is never just about overspending. There's usually a contentment problem, or money fights within marriage, not just the money fights, it's stuff going on underneath, right? So there's always things happening. And I feel like debt is one of the things. those. Yeah.

And so the stress that debt brings to a household is very real. So have you seen that play out, especially when you talk to people? In fact, the last couple of years, I've begun to believe this from here. Yeah. The core of mental health well-being is, I am safe. I have some control about what tomorrow may look like, even if it's a little bit, and I've got a community. And debt isolates you.

Debt takes away your control of what tomorrow's going to look like. And it makes it not safe. Other people have control into your life. So I've come to believe that if you owe somebody money, you cannot be psychologically whole. I believe that with all my heart. So the stress obviously is created, but there's like just that negative type of emotion

that's created in a person. It's not even a negative emotion. It is a physiological response that lets your body know we are not safe because somebody else controls our life. And if you have credit cards and banks and student loans and the government, and they're all pulling the strings

that are going to keep you in a job where you're not safe, they're going to keep in relationships that aren't safe. All of these other voices speak into your day-to-day life, part of your brain, your migdalas is going to tell you not safe, not safe, not safe. And that manifests itself in anxiety, depression, all these other things that we're trying to solve out here, man, those are here problems to solve.

So interesting, because when we talk about even removing debts from your life, getting out of debt, not owing anyone anything, there's a level of freedom that comes with that. And I always say here on the show, I'm like, yeah, there's a financial freedom, obviously, because your income is now yours. It's not going back out to payments.

But there's also this emotional and even spiritual freedom that comes with it. It's a psychological freedom. Your body goes, we're okay, right? It's kind of like going into your parents' house and you've been gone and you have a good relationship with your parents. You've been gone a long time and you come in, you hear the words, it just feels like home. Like your body goes, we're safe here.

Or you go into an old friend's house and one of those friends that you have, you can just go in their house and go right into their fridge. It's just down. Your brain goes, we're okay here, right? Or you know when you go into somebody else's house and you don't feel comfortable or it feels weird, or you go into a restaurant where you don't feel like you belong, your brain tells you, we're not okay here, this isn't our home.

Same thing, when you pay that debt off and you just go, your brain goes, your body goes, we're safe now. Your life is now yours. Yes, your life is now yours. That's so interesting. So for married couples specifically, this can cause a big stress points in marriage, right? So not only do the dollars and cents start to get really tight,

and it's like, God, every $5 I'm spending, I'm feeling the stress, and it just creates kind of this explosion in a household. So what are some things couples can do to really kind of minimize that, especially while they're getting out of debt? What was key in my house with me and my wife is this, is backing up from what you think the fight's about

because it almost never is. It's not that he left the shoes in front of the door again. It's that you don't feel valued. You've said it 10 times, you feel disrespected. Or it's not that she bought this thing again. it's that you are trying to keep your family safe by making a budget. So back up and say, what's really at stake here? And usually it's, I don't feel safe.

I don't feel heard or connected. And I don't feel in control, right? And if you can solve those problems, the debt takes care of itself. The anxiety takes care of itself. The depression, you can be on a road to healing there, right? But it's about dealing with what are these core issues? When you're about to lash out and you're about to get angry, stop and say, what am I really upset about here?

Like, what is that underneath? And again, that's what we talk about so much, you guys, is money's never just about money. There's all this stuff. But sadly, money can cause some of this negative stuff, right? Whether it's the anxiety, the depression, the stress, all of it. But when you are married and you are working as one, it is so, so important to be on the same team. And there's a couple of things that couples can do here to really help with that.

Like one of them is just honesty, you guys. Be honest. And so whether that's a tactical side of if you have a secret credit card that you haven't told your spouse, be honest about that. Even though that's scary, be honest about that. be honest about what you're feeling. Do you not feel taken care of? Are you fearful? What are the things going on

and just be honest with your spouse? Starting with that, I feel like it's huge. And then going to the next one, you just mentioned it fear. One of the things we hedge on with people we love is what we're really scared about. We are peacekeepers or we're silence keepers. Be honest about sharing your fears.

Tell your spouse, this scares me when you spend like this. Or I don't feel safe when I look at our student loan payments, right? Or I feel out of control. be honest about your fears. Yes, so good. And have goals together, you guys, because once you start doing this, right, whether it's the honesty and sharing your fears,

there is a level of vulnerability there that your spouse may start to know you on a level that they never knew you before because you're just functioning and trying to be okay. But once you say, okay, I'm not okay. Like this really is scaring me. They really, you become a unified front and then out of that,

you really can't start to work together as a team and have a goal in mind. So have something you are shooting for. Have something in the next, 24 months that you guys can say, okay, in the next two years, here's what we're going to do, whether it's getting out of debt or having a specific amount money saved, whatever it is, have a goal together. Because it's amazing, when couples work together towards a goal, like the unification

that happens in a marriage, I mean, it's huge. The growth is exponential, right? The shift, you think it's just going to be a one-degree shift, but it ends up going way over there and opening up so many other possibilities. Real important when you share goals, share what you actually need, right? Yes. There's a level of vulnerability that says, I know he's tired, I know she's working all day, but here's what I need.

And we often don't speak our needs. We just bottle them up or we try to meet our needs in other ways or with other people. And that causes disaster of all sorts, right? On this particular show, we often try to meet our needs of inadequacy, of comparison, of I'm not enough, I haven't accomplished enough by just buying stuff. Right, right. It's easier and easier. Be honest with your spouse about.

about your needs. That's so huge. We were out to dinner with a couple this weekend and they're pregnant for the first time and we're talking about baby stuff and Winston asked her, he was like, how good are you at asking for help

about asking for what you need? Because even in all these transitions of life, like if you're not good at it, not only is that need not going to be met but the frustration is going to pent up but when you can actually verbalize what you need to your spouse, it's huge, so I love that one.

And can I just say, men are terrible too. Yeah. They don't say what they need. We don't say, hey, I really need this from you. I don't know how that language. I've never seen. My dad sure wasn't going around and being like, you know what?

Here's some needs I have. No, he had some things I had to do, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's both men and women, if we can just come to the table and say, hey, here's the season I'm in, here's what I need. It's good. Wow, man. And then lastly, couples, just practice connection, being together. And a lot of these conversations like we're talking about naturally is.

It's going to bring you guys together in a deep connection. Can I just double down on the word you used? Just go. Practice. You're going to screw this up. LeBron James shoots a thousand shots today. I just made that number up, but he shoots a lot of shots. Probably, probably that.

He's practicing. So when he gets in the game, and when he gets in the game, he still misses shots. Yes. Same thing with relationships. When you practice being honest, you practice talking about your fears, you practice these things. And some days you have to come back and go, I wasn't fully honest with you today. Here's really what I bought. You're practicing that.

Some days you say, is that everything? And you go, yep, and you come back and go, I didn't tell you one of my fears. One of my fears is this, you practice it and practice it. And over time, you get better and better and better to where your marriage just does this, right? So good. Okay, so what can people do to kind of decrease the stress in all of this? As we're talking about the subject of marriage and connection, but that debt plays a big part in that. What can people do out there again that are facing really tough money issues?

How can they lower the stress? Number one, don't wait until there's a fight. Don't wait until it's exploded to then say, oh, yeah, well, you should have. and I'm scared about, set aside some time to have this conversation. And the second thing is to go back what we just said. Be honest, talk about your fears, talk about our needs, talk about what you're joyful, what you're happy for,

and really double down on practicing connection. Yeah, it's so good. Okay, you guys, hopefully all of that has helped you, but you might be thinking too, like, okay, this all sounds great, but how do I actually jump in and have a conversation? How do we start this? Well, sometimes it's just by having fun. And so you actually created,

Can I talk about this? Yes. It's so great, you guys. I called a buddy right before I took this job and said, what's the book that hasn't been written yet? What would you love to see? And he said, well, I turned all my screens off. I paid all my debts off.

And now I'm just sitting in my living room looking at my daughters, and we're all just staring at each other. And I don't know what to do next. And I was like, just talk to him. And he goes, about what? And then he goes, and then my wife comes in. And I realized, oh, we don't even know how to have a conversation anymore. Right, right.

So we created this series of cards. I'm going to be honest. We thought this was a beta. That means we thought that it was going to be a product. We put it out there just to see how people would respond. We've sold out three runs and now we're on number four. They have gone bananas. And here's what they are.

There's a series of cards for friends, for parents and grandparents and kids, and for people who are together dating, married, whatever. Romantic. So, all right, so here, let's do one together. Okay, yes. So you pick a random card. Okay, okay, okay. Pick a random one.

What's a song that makes your ears bleed? Oh, my gosh. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Oh, it's a good one. That's a good one. And any song by Smashing Pumpkins. Do you? All of them, all of them.

Oh, my gosh. You just took me back to, like, my, like, middle school days. Man. Okay. Did you love them? No, they're just everywhere. Have you ever kissed a boy to a Smashing Pumpkin song? I don't even know.

Okay, my kids, you know what they love now is who let the dogs out? Who? Who? I don't know. Who let them out. But they am charred. My two-year-old loves it. I don't know.

It's annoying, though. I love that. I love that song. Just kidding. One more, one more, more. I know this one's for me to you. I'm going to pick up a random one. I'm so nervous.

Oh, man. Who is your favorite kiss of all time that's not your current husband? Stop it. No, I can't do that. Why? Stop it. No. That you're lying.

That wasn't real. No way. No way. Are you ready? Are you ready? This one's so great. You ready? No.

What are you 100% convinced is a scam, and where did your information come from? That's real. What's 100% a scam? Oh, man, this is going to. AKA, okay. This is a short jump to a conspiracy theory. This is one. I don't know why this is a pop to my head.

I heard it, and I was like, yes. Do you know they don't teach cursive in elementary school anymore? because in three generations, we won't be able to read the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. That's pretty good. It's pretty good. I'm a hundred. What is your information come from? The Internet.

Internet's always right. All right, what am I 100% convinced is a scam? Oh, man. What can I tell you? Pay-day lones. No, hot dogs. Ew. Yeah.

Ew. I think all the things about hot dogs aren't right. Do you know, I didn't eat hot dogs for, like, years. And then when you have kids, it's all people make. You don't have to. You gave in. You're better than that, Rachel. I'm just kidding. I did. I did. I gave in.

I think that there's a lot of things in hot dogs that were never alive. That's what I think. I think they're a scam. And where do I get my information from? America. America. From the Internet. Red, Y, and Blue People.

Okay, so where can people get these great cards? You can go to John Deloney.com and get them. They're also available at Ramsey Solutions. and they are COVID-free and politics-free. There's no COVID questions or politics. You can have real conversations without those two things. That's really fair. That's fair.

That's fair. Okay, you guys, and we're really excited because John and I are gonna be doing money and marriage. An event that we love to do, it's been so fun. We've done a couple together on February 11th. So if you came last year, come back. If you're new, sign up, and we're gonna have so much fun. We're gonna talk about the five questions

every couple should be asking, and just check it out. on the live stream, click the link in the show notes, and we hope to see you there. John, thanks for being here. Thanks, dude. How fun. Where can everyone find you, PS?

On the internet. On the internet. John Deloney.com. Red white and blue. All right, today we're going to talk about how to save on all things, Valentine's Day, specifically at Target. So, listen, Valentine's Day, what makes it great? It's being with people you love and not spending a ton of money.

So yes, you can skip at the crowded restaurants, forget about the reservations, all of it. It stresses me out. I don't like it. I don't know if I care for Valentine's Day. I don't know. I don't know if I've always been this way or just recently. But I'm like, I don't know. It's every time if we try to go out, it's like a prefixed menu, and it takes forever to get a reservation,

and you spend so much on it. And there's crowds and all of us. I'm like, we could have done this a week ago and had a totally different experience. are we forcing ourselves into a situation to spend more money than we wanted to spend to say I love you? Like, it's a marketing scheme. I don't care for it. I don't know if I like it.

I'm protesting Valentine's Day this year. No, I'm just kidding. But really, it is a holiday that people spend a lot of money. So Americans do spend $21.8 billion on Valentine's Day. They did that last year in 2021. 5.8 was spent on just jewelry on February 14th. The average amount spent in 2021 was $164.70. A person, the average man, spent $231.

The average woman, 101. So, I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. So, listen, you can enjoy your significant other and not have to spend a ton of money. But I'm saying all that to say, if you are someone that loves Valentine's Day and you're saying, Rachel, you're crazy.

Rachel, I agree with you on a lot of things, but right now I think you're crazy because you love Valentine's Day, like my producer, Lindsay, obsessed with Valentine's Day. So if you are someone that's like, no, I'm going to be celebrating Valentine's Day, I want to decorate some, I want to have some fun with it, then this video really is for you

because no matter what I say, you're going to be spending money on Valentine's Day. So let's figure out a way for you to do that, but not spend a ton of money. And Target is one of my favorite stores. So there are some great options at Target to help celebrate Valentine's Day, and this video is not sponsored, PS.

So one of the things you can do to save money is just make a meal at home. So you can do some fancy surf and turf. You can pick up good and gather frozen shrimp for only $7. You can get steaks that are USDA choice for like $10 a pound. Or if you're like me and you just love pizza,

you can make your own pizza and get all the ingredients at Target for under $20. you can have some chocolate for desserts, and you don't even have to spend the extra on all the heart-shaped stuff. You can get something, you know, a little bit more simple, a little bit less expensive, which is great.

So you can. You can spend a great meal at home and just buy all your ingredients there. And if you want some more ideas, you can check out my free meal planner and grocery savings guide. It has my best grocery savings tips in there, plus a meal planning calendar,

and a grocery list template. You can print it out. You can edit it on your phone. It's awesome. So you can go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash meal planner for that. Also, a way to save is do breakfast in bed, or if you're with your roommate or your friends, you could have like a big breakfast party.

So they have these really cute dash many waffle makers at Target. 10 bucks, super cute, and even some great stacking mugs. The threshold brand is awesome. They're like $7 each. So there's lots of cute options there that you can buy. Again, if you want to do like a little dates, breakfast date there. Or if you're throwing a

Galentine's party at your house with friends, you can make a cheese board, a charcutory board, the lakeside rectangle cutting board or turquitory serving tray. It's beautiful. It's real wood. It's only $23. So you can

grab whatever you're serving and just put there on the tray. And if you want an idea for that, I did a video with the cheese gal on how to put together a Tarkooturu board that doesn't bust your budget, and it's awesome. And if you're wanting to decorate for the party, Target sells some really cute decor, like garland, invitations, cups, balloons, plates, all that in the dollar section. It's all really cute stuff.

And if you want stuff for your house, decorate your house, there's many string lights for $11 and things like that are great because you can reuse them. And you can even, like, have fun and make a little fort with your kids and hang the strings, watch a family, you know, fun movie. It's so cute. And the hearth in hand with magnolia brushed and candles are $10. So you can get some of those and put around,

some fresh flowers, and it's great. Really spices at the moon for Valentine's Day. And also, what you wear, we think about that. I did not wear my Valentine's Day colors today. But Target has some great brands like Universal Thread and a new day in their trend. they're affordable. So again, you don't have to splurge and buy like this brand new outfit for a lot of money. You can spend like 20 bucks and get a cute dress. Or if you're going to be home, you can get

some new loungeware and that stuff starts at like $10. Even if you want some new shoes, Target sells really cute shoes that look like Steve Madden or kids, but you're getting it for a fraction of the price. All right, for your kiddos, Target has a really big section of inexpensive, ready to use assembly crafts for your kids under like $5. So if you do a little gift bag or something for Valentine's Day for your kids, this is a great option. They also have a lot of supplies to make your own Valentine's Day cards that they take to school instead of, again, just buying them.

You can make them. I'll probably be buying them. But if you want to have fun and make them, you can make them too. Okay, so when it comes to Target and saving money, two amazing. options, the Target app and the Red Card. So the Target app has coupons. You can save money on groceries, clothing, and home goods. But make sure you go before you head to the store or shop online so that you know exactly what coupons are there and what sales are going on. And the Target Red Card is an amazing option. I love this card. You get 5% off every purchase in the store online plus free

shipping. Again, this is a debit card. So make sure you sign up for the debit card option. debit card, debit card. But again, you save money. It's awesome. You don't need to spend on things like really expensive decor that you're only going to use for Valentine's Day or heart throw pillows for $30, no. Or stuffed animals, no.

Or even individual, just really nice, pricey cards. I mean, if you do that for everyone, like your parents and all that you know, I mean, you can spend like $75. I mean, it's crazy. So there are definitely places to save money. there are places to spend and enjoy, but not bust the budget when it comes to Valentine's Day.

So I kind of feel like the Grinch of Valentine's Day. I didn't mean to be. I think it could be very wonderful, very wonderful. But, hey, it's kind of an overrated holiday, in my opinion. You know, just the love. But hey, oh, Valentine's Day. Again, you love it, you hate it, but we all love Target.

So hopefully those tips helped you guys. And I want to thank Dr. John Deloney for being on the show. and thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. If you have not subscribed to this podcast, make sure to hit that follow button. And if the spirit leads, you can leave a review. As always, make sure to take control of your money

and create a life you love.